Pembroke Street Michaelmas 2020 Issue 17 - Open

Pembroke Street I s s u e N .1 7

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N E OPEN. OP N. OPE .

N E OPEN. OPEN. OP

ISSUE 17

Contents.

CONTENTS. Editors’ Notes.

ANDREW JAMESON Cambridge’s Final Best.

CLAIRE ADLER On Vehicles.

Virtual Pembroke.

SCARLETT REINERS Tit Hall Wall.

CLAIRE ADLER Passing Chic.

VIC MORELAND Letter to Self.

CAL HEWITT A Night Climber Climbs.

Thanks to Contributors.

PITT Crossword and Guide.

JESSICA GENEEN AND DOM JAMES

SOME OF PEM LOCKDOWN LEADING LIGHTS

EDI TORS’ NOT E S . . .

Thank you for picking up this year ’s first edition of Pembroke Street! Freshers, we hope you’re settling in, and returning students, we hope you’ ve enjoyed your long-awaited catch-ups with friends.

Our theme for this issue is OPEN. We thought it was fitting to have a theme which was positive and lends itself to a new start , but also allows for self-reflection, and we’re pleased with how our contributions exemplif y this. The feature Virtual Pembroke displays how Pembroke societies were kept ‘open for business’ over the summer by their dedicated members. Vic’s heartfelt piece explores the healing power of opening up to your younger self, about both the good and the bad. Andrew ’s entertaining farewell article may seem like a closing rather than an opening, but we think it showcases the quirky side of the Pembroke community which should never be kept behind closed doors. Our poetry and prose contributions from Scarlett, Claire and Cal encourage us to open our minds to the deeper meaning and humour inside everyday experiences. As ever, Pitt has provided a crossword to help us all unlock our brain power again before term starts! Lastly, Lucy ’s drawings beautifully illustrate the opening aspects of the natural world.

A grand opening, or just a taster of what ’s to come for the magazine? You decide, but in any case, we hope you enjoy this issue.

- Jessica

As we draw open our gaudy blue curtains to a grey-skied new year, Pembroke’s all-weather student magazine is back as ever to bring a bit of light into College. For our lovely Freshers (whom we welcome and look forward to meeting!), and for those as yet unfamiliar with what Pembroke Street is about: in each of our issues, we assemble a taste of the creative fruits of some of Pem’s wonderful, ‘ local’ talent. Whether in prose, poetry, wit or whimsy, opinion, news, drawing or art, Pembroke Street offers a (typically termly) space for expression to any and all of the individual voices that make up our community.

Peruse these pages for open windows, open endings, and reluctantly opened eyes; old traditions, fresh starts, and liberally mixed metaphors; introspection, retrospection, triads galore, and the occasional overthrown expectation. All this wrangled to fit the theme of OPEN: ingredients blended to celebrate the reopening of College.

In this issue, we wanted to think about what it means to be open in a time of closures. Open with ourselves, open to others. Open to seeing and being in a precarious world, finding comfort and new joy in it without averting our eyes. I could wax on, but as you’ ll soon discover, our magnificent contributors do so far better!

Thanks to said contributors for their openness and insight , to the brilliant Pembroke Street creative and digital team, and to you for picking up a copy! Relish what ’s in store as it opens out before you… and welcome (back) to Pembroke.

O &

ME...

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– Dom

WELC

CAMBRI DGE’ S FI NAL BEST

By Andrew Jameson Hello and welcome to the final instalment of a series you’ ve probably never read before. If you have read it , you may be thinking, “ What another one? Surely this guy must have graduated by now.” And indeed, I have returned from beyond the graduation grave to pass onto you one final article. ( To clarif y, I’m not just desperately clinging onto my youthful student days. I wrote this article last term but amidst the strange lockdown times it was never published – that is, until now! This year ’s editors have kindly given me the chance to put the series to rest.)

For those who haven’ t followed Cambridge’s Best religiously since its inception in 2017 – I know, I know, but let ’s just imagine there are some – allow me to fill you in. I started the series back in my first term and this is the eleventh edition.

Eleventh. You’d have thought I might have come up with a few more ideas over three and a bit years. Turns out I didn’ t.

Normally I review things in or around Cambridge (hence the fairly straightforward name) but , due to lockdown, I wrote this article not in Cambridge but in the Scottish metropolis of Perth – yes, the Fair City of the North, indeed, the Celtic cultural capital. And while I could have told you about Scotland’s largest and most comprehensive collection of heathers, or the 500,000 objects in our local museum, that ’s not what we’re here for. No, we’re here for an arbitrar y and often nonsensical review of Cambridge things.

And as this is the final article of the series, I’ ve decided to go out in style and review each of my own reviews. Yes, this is what I thought would make a good article. Yes, lockdown probably impaired my judgement. I originally thought about calling it ‘ Cambridge’s Best Cambridge’s Best ’, but that sounded like some weird chant. And obviously, we like to keep things normal around here.

(I am also now realising if you haven’ t read all, or any of, these articles, then the titles are going to sound mad altogether. Ah well.)

So, for one last time, buckle in for even more self-indulgence than you’d expect.

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First up, Cambridge’s Final Best. To place this article any higher in my list would be too strange and meta even for me. Plus, at this stage of writing I have no idea how it ’ ll turn out – so it ’s difficult to maintain my signature objectivity.

I do realise that reading an ar ticle which ranks itself at the bottom of a list of other articles may not make you particularly keen to continue reading that article. But let me reassure you, we’re talking about a high-calibre, top-tier list of ar ticles here, so really I don’ t think there are any losers.

(But if there were, it would be this one).

10.

Next , a second-year review: Cambridge’s Best Street Names. Yeah, this was a bit of a strange one. I chose this topic because I could do it remotely and I think you can feel that slight note of desperation in the writing – or, as my lecturers loved to describe it , in the texture of the prose.

Do I know what that means? No, not really. Have I used it in essays anyway ? Of course. Still, Peas Hill is a fun street name.

9.

Cambridge’s Best Bookshelves is next. Another second-year review here and hardly a dedicated one I’m afraid.

I mean, I only reviewed three bookshelves. And they ’re ones I had to go to anyway. Come on, Andrew, you had like nothing on in second year. But , I do have to say, ‘paperbacks on tracks’ was a pretty inspired quip.

8.

Cambridge’s Best Doors was the third review I wrote and, at the time, I thought it would be my last – ah, how naïve I was back then. Some nice puns but none of the doors were particularly exciting. I don’ t necessarily know what an exciting door looks like, but I don’ t think I found it.

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Cambridge’s Best Mottos. There weren’ t as many exciting mottos as I had thought there would be, instead lots of Latin I remember. I know, you wouldn’ t have thought it from Cambridge. I still don’ t know if Pembroke has an official motto and until that happens I can’ t help but feel there’s something missing in my life.

6.

Onto Cambridge’s Best Grotesques now. A third-year review which I felt was a nice return to my roots – my roots being wandering around nearby colleges and looking for strange features. Cal and I were, however, surprised by the dear th of gargoyles and grotesques in Cambridge. If I ever do find employment after this English degree, and then somehow earn a lot of money, and then think “ you know who could do with some of this money ? Yeah, one of those really wealthy Cambridge colleges”, then I think I’d ask them to spend a small chunk on a decent gargoyle. Also, I remember it was a Monday afternoon and there was some big march

going on while we were pottering around, reading Gargoyle Girl’s account of some top gargoyles. Yeah, it ’s those sorts of moments that make you question what you’re doing with your spare time.

5.

A second-year review nex t : Cambridge’s Best Gowns.

It was always a dream of mine to be able to identif y the college based on the gown. I didn’ t manage to fulfil that particular dream but , to be honest with you, it ’s not one of my bigger regrets. A fun review overall and I still love the fact that Cambridge’s website compares the gown to “ a wizard’s robe”.

4.

Cambridge’s Best Crest. I have to admit , I mainly like this one because of the rhyme in the title.

3.

Cambridge’s Best Clocks. A first-year review now and the second one I wrote. I enjoy this one – mainly because I do like a nice clock face. However, I was walking past the Corpus Clock last term and I heard someone referring to the beastie on top as a clockroach. Amazing. I’m ashamed I never thought of this pun over my three years here. I do stand by my criticism of Queens’ frankly mad clock situation though.

You shouldn’ t need a website to read a clock . Also, I had to physically sign into Queens’ twice for these reviews – it was not worth the bother.

2.

Cambridge’s Best Spaces. Yes, my previous review earns the number two spot. Mainly because the spaces in question were just places I had a connection with and I

could indulge in some nostalgia as I neared my end. Also, I’m hoping that if I just repeat “ the goldfish bowl of Foundress” enough times it might catch on as a phrase.

1.

And the best Cambridge’s Best? Well, it has to be Cambridge’s Best Bridges. Where it all began – and, some might argue, where it should all have ended. Cal also accompanied me for this one, Queens’ also didn’ t fare well and there was unnecessar y detail about things you don’ t really care about – basically, the quintessential Cambridge’s Best. Fun fact : I originally wanted to call the series ‘ Hitting the Street ’, because you know Pembroke “ Street ”. The editors had other ideas. I don’ t blame them.

And there we are. I know this has maybe been more a ranking than a review. You’d have thought I’d at least have my terminology down by now. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and if you’d like to actually read some of these articles, you can find an archive of past Pembroke Street editions somewhere online, or alternatively I can hold a public reading of all my work whenever I’m nex t in Cambridge.

But whether you’ ve read all these weird articles or just this one, I thank you. I’ ll miss writing them and I’ ll miss Pembroke. I feel I may be getting unnecessarily emotional about a review series, but then I’m just a sentimental old graduate.

I hope you enjoy the year ahead, even if it is a strange one, and I’m confident Pembroke Street will continue to flourish – even if it is down one strange article series.

So, dear Pembroke Street reader, thank you again and farewell for now...

Claire Adler In Central Park, I find Death and How to Outlive It sodden on the dark ground. I record hastily that book jackets become flexible when left to soak, and that it can be hard to tell, from my back, how the rain is falling. Today, a lesbian with a round face reassured me that academia is a gay friendly field. Tonight, I will use the kitchen to make muffins, which I know from experience will be heavy and taste too much of . lemon.

A misplaced Thursday retains its anecdotes. It?s like printmaking.

Each time, I think the ink will last for an additional and phantom transference.

That morning, I finished an absurdist Czech novel with a hexed narrator. Every woman he saw, he described the size and manner of her hanging breasts. Someone who owns a puddle-gray truck drives over the grass tipping. It is raining enough that there are no mosquitoes out, despite the tender bright scar over my right eye.

Things in the past do not appear further away, but they smell stronger, and become less predictable.

VV II RR TT UUAA LL PP EE M M BB RROO KK EE VIRTUAL ENTS

Zoom, Google Meet, Skype, Houseparty. Whichever app you’re using, I’m sure you’re used to the drill now, repeatedly telling relatives to unmute themselves or explaining the concept of screen sharing to your parents. Thankfully, in our attempts to keep the ents scene active during lockdown, technology has been on our side, but it’s been a challenge switching from an in-person social scene to a virtual community.

However, the challenge has been incredibly fun! Surprisingly, we’ve steered clear of what now seems to be the most popular way of socialising - a virtual pub quiz - and we’ve successfully run Netflix Party nights, a Pembroke MasterChef competition and a ‘The Great Pembroke Bake Off’ competition too. We even held a virtual pub crawl on Zoom, where everyone taking part changed their zoom background every 45 minutes to virtually recreate the idea of ‘moving’ to a new pub!

YOGA AND ZUMBA

by Akshar Abhyankar

BBC Workplace acknowledged how stressful a virtual term can be - they glamorously compared it to walking into a bar for a drink with your best mate, your significant other, your parents, your neighbours, your dog AND your professors... the inability to physically separate our space is challenging. Pembroke Welfare organised yoga and Zumba streaming for our students over the term and Summer in the hopes of encouraging students to take time off and de-stress!

By Steph Jat

The JPC decided to launch a virtual ‘lockdown library’ to help motivate and support students studying from home. We were all missing the atmosphere of the college library and daily zoom calls were a great way to restore this communal feel. From the funky library backgrounds, to seeing everyone jump out of their skin when I suddenly turned on my mic to say “5 more minutes!”, it really was wonderful. It may be a while before libraries are back to normal, but I think little things like this can make us feel a lot less alone.

By Maya McFarlane

LOCKDOWN LIBRARY

VIRTUAL SING-A-LONG

T H E B OAT C LU B

By Joe Beadle

It has brought a smile to my face and to my heart to host a livestream on Saturday evenings on the Pembroke Chapel Choir Facebook page. Viewers commented their requests for songs from Disney films or Broadway musicals, and I played them on the piano for them to sing along. In normal term, following Wednesday compline services, members of the choir would often stay around the piano into the early hours of the morning, singing our favourite songs! Seeing people’s comments and requests come in as I played brought me a sense of togetherness, even while apart. I am very grateful for and warmed by the thousands of views each week, and I look forward to the day when we can get back around the piano in Pembroke again and enjoy the music in person!

By Ellen Sparshott

As we all know, many team sports and social events were cancelled as a result of lockdown. Yet, despite all of these setbacks, Pembroke College Boat Club found many virtual ways to continue training and keep morale high. In June, PCBC, along with other college boat clubs, took part in Virtual Bumps in aid of East Anglia Children’s Hospices (EACH).

We ran 800m on each day of Bumps (24th-27th June) and achieved fantastic results – notably W1 and M1 bumping up 3 places. Over the summer, our current Men’s and Women’s captains (Toby and Abby) created an incredible summer training competition. The whole boat club was divided into mixed teams, earning points for the types and durations of training they did. Additionally, CircSoc became a huge part of boat club training – all taking place over zoom!

Finally, our Coxing Rep, Amy, has organised informative coxing analysis sessions, where our coxes and rowers alike learn about different coxing styles, calls and river safety.

Honorary mentions must go to Dan Shailer and Igor Sterner.

Dan swam the English Channel in 15 hours and 15 minutes, raising an incredible £10,000 for the Marine Conservation Society! Igor cycled 500km in August in aid of Maggie’s Centres, raising over £500! We are currently in preseason training; are all very glad to be back on the Cam and are excited to see what Michaelmas term holds for the boat club.

Dan Shailer swimming the Channel!

A rush of w i nd? i t rattles i n your di sposable coffee cup. I becom e aw are of i ts em pti ness. ?Should w e cut soon??

A w ayw ard gi nger curl obscures your ti red eyes, sti ll sw ollen from another w eek of sleepless ni ghts. ?5 m ore m i ns?? ?Alri ght,?

I thi nk w e?ve found the perfect place to w aste ti m e. It?s alm ost as i f i t w as m ade for us; your m op of vi brant hai r fram ed by those drapi ng branches, on your si de, and on m y si de, m y shoulder si tti ng just beneath the archi ng stone bri dge (i n the di stance, people m i ll over i t). From the ri ver w e m ust look regal, pi cturesque, for on our w all w e are ti m eless and sti ll, si lent, li ke statues.

We both begi n to roll a ci garette. My fi lter si ts fai ntly i n-betw een m y li ps, puffy and m aroon because I am hungover. Also, m y hands are cold, so you fi ni sh fi rst.

Sti ll, you w ai t. Num b fi ngers fum ble to get a spark out of your gari sh green li ghter. Together, w e m anage i t.

People and duck s pass from one place to another, but ti m e does not really pass w i th them ; everythi ng som ehow rem ai ns the sam e, i n a perpetual state of undi sturbed peace. When w e?re done (you alw ays fi ni sh fi rst), w e bury our dead ci garettes i n the m osai c of exposed m ortar arteri es w hi ch run through the bri ck w ork . And now i t?s fi ni shed, so w e go hom e.

Scarlett Rei ners

And will I do? Florals shower infrequently or make every day DiCaprio on his knees my long dad mopping spoiled floors models ships I can?t sew, we talk poetry he recommends. There?s wailing ?sentimentality? and missing women in Sherlock Holmes, I love him anyway I?m the detective at 14 I like it when he doesn?t live alone. Rathbone raving against ponderous old men but my mould cut built buttoned up keeping the cold out and watching round goats trundle taller and taller Point Redundant ?there? the flat water in the shape of a falling kite. I point again I draw a boy pointing he is delighted by everything I make him, see, a mighty chest I build for him, without dad I resuscitate rubber pictures am rubber-man, real.

LET TER TO SELF

By Vi c Mor e l and Now that I’ ve been in lockdown with my family for the past two months, I’ ve come to the realisation that I never want to be a teenager again. Spending each night in my bedroom from adolescence, I often lie awake, thinking: ‘ If I could go back in time and talk to my fifteen-year-old self, what would I say to her?’ Our teenage years are often ones of rebellion and confusion. We don’ t know who to talk to about our problems, how to address them or handle the overwhelming cocktail of emotions coursing through our bodies. If I could say anything to that scared, lost and weird girl, I’d say this:

To my fifteen-year-old self :

“ Calm down.”

Seriously, I mean it. Take a deep breath in and breathe out slowly; take ten counts if you need. And no, don’ t give me the excuse that you have asthma so breathing exercises aren’ t going to do anything for your anxiety. The counsellor might have been talking shit when she mentioned the paper bag, but taking time to slow that fast-beating heart will do you a world of good. I can imagine you’re ner vous to find what ’s become of us – did you think we’d make it this far? But look at you! You’re so small! I’m afraid you’re not going to grow that much over the next few years, even though you think there’s a chance you might reach six-foot-tall just because of that one great-uncle who broke the tiny height chain. I’m sorr y to say that you don’ t just look small, you seem small.

You’re all ner vous, shy, introver ted, shunning a world that you don’ t want to be a part of. Hiding in the shadows will only work for so long – I know that , to you, edging out into the light will be like looking in a mirror that ’s determined to unveil all the cracks you’ ve tried to fill.

I’ ll admit it , before I left for uni I tried to duct tape you inside a box and leave you at home. On the sur face, it may have been because you were a little bit odd, struggling to deal with puberty as all teenagers do. Besides, I didn’ t know anybody in my year at Cambridge. This was our chance for a clean slate, starting afresh. But deep down, I hid you because I wanted to protect you. Ever yone knows that children are vulnerable, they must be taught , educated on how to navigate their way through life. On the other hand, I think teenagers are far more susceptible to damage. You have that world map, an atlas meant to guide you, but sometimes you don’ t like it and when it leads you down the wrong path, you don’ t know how to cope. So, I concealed you, scared that past scars would turn into big, gaping wounds if I so much as let you out.

Consequently, I spent a whole term not knowing who I was. I swallowed anxiety down my throat each time it bubbled up, convinced I’d receive the same response we had from high school; chewed up and spat out by a system that refused to understand mental health. I’d let you out of the box whenever I came home.

I’m looking at our bedroom walls now and boy, do they look different. You’ ll probably be shocked – there’s no more posters of adolescent rock bands, or of men wearing edgy black make-up. And no, mum did not cave and let you paint your walls black . The only sign of our shared past is the multitude of holes in the wallpaper, beige blots on your blue horizon.

In a way they ’re almost like scars. And like scars they can be filled, or covered, but I’ ve chosen not to do that. I’m not going to sugar-coat how living at home has been for the past ten weeks. It ’s re-opened those old wounds that university somewhat healed, but for good reason. I realise now that I’m still the same fifteen-year old girl who was too scared to go to school because she couldn’ t go an hour without having a panic attack , let alone ride the packed school bus.

However, I’m still the same girl who loved to sing, dance and spend the night smashing through a book . When I eventually return to Cambridge, I’m not keeping you in the box . You’ ve helped me realise that it ’s ok ay to be vulnerable. I said you looked small: you’re the strongest girl I know.

We’ ll be alright , you and me. You thought you were alone, but you’ ve got me to hold your hand now. We’re going to get on that crowded bus and we’re going to be just fine.

Love, Your nineteen (soon to be twent y!) year old self.

Buzzer off!

Rat t l ed ou t, a p h r ase m y l i p s H ad n ot sh ap ed f or a h u n d r ed y ear s.

At l en gth I op en ed a w i n d ow, Gr asp ed a sh eep sk i n gl ove Fr om t h e w i n d an d p ou n d i n g sl eet ou tsi d e.

H ow do you do?

H al f w ay th r ou gh th e f r am e h e sh ed a coat O f t an n ed h i d e an d th e f eath er s of geese; A Toy ota sw er ved .

W h en cl i m bi n g th e N or th Face You m u st star t f r om ei th er ex tr em e To m ake th e f i r st f ew f eet u p to th e w i n d ow - l ed ge.

Bu ck book s p op p ed over th e si l l , H e r i n sed w ater f r om h i s m ou stach e; I r eal ly d o keep sh er r y (W h i ch w as l u ck y f or h i m , I gu ess) A n d as I p ou r ed th e w el com e cu p I t w as m y p l easu r e to tel l T h at Ever est r eal ly h ad been d on e.

Thank you to all of our contributors this issue!

Editors Dom James Jessica Geneen Creative Directors Gwendy Jones Sophie Johnson Margherita Volpato Social Media Manager Cara Rogers

If you would like to contribute to a future issue, watch the Official Pembroke JP Facebook page for announcements. You can also join the Pembroke Street Contributors and Creative Contributors Facebook groups.

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O S S W R D

A C R O S S : 7 Penny, sick , takes drug (4) 8 Wearing an undergarment - small, fashionable, concealing nothing (8) 9 A wave also (2,4) 10 Garland puts ecstasy into rage (6) 11 Hesitation backfires in front of the French smuggler (4) 12 Criminal predicts that which is easy to predict (8) 15 Relax ? It ’s not good for turbine energy production (4,4) 17 Whip flipped egg for dish (4) 18 Penultimate act of Romeo and Juliet sweetheart is energetic (6) 21 A midfielder scrounges records (6) 22 Sort of ditty Or a city Perhaps concerning rice Milk in disguise ( This whole clue is just to appear witty) (8) 23 Unlatched back half of coop of headless chicken (4)

D OWN : 1 State “ Lass, nothing you begin to read ends in ennui” (8) 2 “ Everyone say cheese!” (at the end, accuse) (6) 3 Lit coals jumping beneath moon (8) 4 Portrayed heartless weird uprising (4) 5 Dormant snake in shelter? On the contrary! (6) 6 Pale mail (4) 13 Raids broken down Kansas car, missing top of axle (8) 14 Copper leaves cucumber behind English hamper (8) 16 500 next to Thames perhaps - it ’s a kind of club (6) 17 Student newspaper loves initially sexual controversial topics (6) 19 Greek character with soft crack (4) 20 Retire old independent model (4)

A GUI DE TO. . .

C RYP TI C

C RO

S SW OR DS

Fancy tr ying your f irst cr yptic cros sword?

He r e ar e s ome t i ps : A cryptic crossword is just what it says on the tin. Like a regular crossword, every clue contains a definition of its answer. However, the definition is cunningly disguised by wordplay.

Have a look at the clue as a whole. The beginning or end of the clue will define the solution. It gives the literal meaning of the definition.

The rest of the clue will not be related to the definition, but it will help you get there. It will make use of synonyms, homophones, anagrams, hidden words, reversals, and abbreviations.

Think of homonyms! For example, the word CAN could mean able or tin.

Abbreviations are common. SPORT, for example, can be abbreviated to PE. Certain words are indicators to mess around with the clue. For example, CHANGED is a clue that you might need to find an anagram of a word or phrase. A word hidden across two words could be triggered by AMONGST, a reversal by BACK , the first letter of a word by START, and the joining of two words or abbreviations by AND. This list is not exhaustive, and not all of these appear in this issue’s crossword!

An e x ampl e cl ue : Br e w s ome magi c up pal (5) The beginning and end of the clue are Brew and pal. So the answer could either be something to do with something brewed, like a hot drink or a potion, or a friend or companion.

The word some is an indicator that some, or part, of the following phrase will be part of the clue.

As it happens, this is a hidden word clue. magic up pal contains the word CUPPA. A cuppa is something you brew.

@P e m b ro k e S tre et Ma ga z ine @P e m brok e S tre et P e m b ro k e stre etm a ga z ine .c o m