Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 21 July 2021

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Fire fought FIRE fighters from Carrum Downs, Edithvale, Patterson River, Skye, and Frankston fire brigades were among those that helped to battle a huge blaze in Lyndhurst last week.

At around 10pm on 17 July, firefighters were alerted to a fire at the corner of Thompsons Rd and McCormicks Rd in Lyndhurst. They were told that a large glasshouse was ablaze.

Fire crews arrived to find the building burning. They worked into the early hours of the morning to extinguish it.

A statement on the Carrum Downs Fire Brigade Facebook page read “Crews worked through the night and well into today to suppress and extinguish the fire. Noble Park Fire Brigade moved up to Carrum Downs Fire Station to provide fire coverage for the local communities.”

“Our thanks for support goes out Bayswater Fire Brigade-CFA, Cranbourne Fire Brigade, Edithvale Fire Brigade, Skye Fire Brigade, Frankston Fire Brigade, Scoresby Fire Brigade, Hampton Park Fire Brigade, Paterson River Fire Brigade, the catering team from Narre Warren Fire Brigade and supporting agencies including Fire Rescue Victoria, Ambulance Victoria and VicPol.” Picture: Gary Sissons

Lockdown extended to battle growing outbreak Brodie Cowburn brodie@baysidenews.com.au VICTORIA’S lockdown has been extended by a week to help combat the current outbreak of COVID-19.

On 20 July, 13 new locally acquired cases of coronavirus were confirmed.

Of those, 12 were linked to the current outbreak and one was under investigation. There were 96 active cases.

There is one active COVID-19 case among residents from the Kingston local government area.

The Coles at Westfield Southland in Cheltenham has been listed as a tier two exposure site. Anyone who went to the supermarket on 12 July between 5.45pm and 6.45pm was asked to get tested and isolate until they received a negative result. A positive COVID-19 case attended the shop.

At a press conference on 20 July, the day the lockdown was originally expected to end, Premier Daniel Andrews said “we need more time” to battle the outbreak. “That is why on the advice of the Chief Health Officer we will extend these lockdowns for a

further seven days.

“We are all going to work very, very hard to have Victoria begin the process of opening up at midnight next Tuesday the 27th, seven days from midnight tonight. We wish we could bring this in earlier, but we can’t run the risk that there are cases out there that we don’t know about. There are chains of transmission that are not yet contained that we don’t know about and if we would open up we would see how quickly this runs, we see how challenging this can become in a very short space of time. We need to avoid

what is going on in Sydney at the moment. We are determined to do that.

“For four weeks, we have been saying to people from Victoria who are in Sydney and now in broader New South Wales - not the bubble, but beyond that border bubble - we have been saying come home, come home because the rules may change. The rules are changing today. The only people that will get a permit to travel from a red zone into Victoria are those who are authorised workers and those who apply for and get a compassionate exemption to the new rules I

am announcing today. There will be no further, as of right now, red zone travel for the next two weeks.”

There are other COVID-19 exposure sites in Dandenong South and Karingal. For a full list visit coronavirus. vic.gov.au/exposure-sites.

To find out if you are eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine visit health.gov. au/resources/apps-and-tools/covid19-vaccine-eligibility-checker Financial support for businesses affected by lockdown has been announced. For more information visit business.vic.gov.au

Order your medication from your phone Download the free app www.mymedadvisor.com

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NEWS DESK

Major works on boating improvements NEW pontoons have been installed in Mordialloc in a bid to make boating better and more accessible.

Work was completed this month to install an accessible pontoon at Pier Road. Its main features will be wider gangways, intermediate landings, grab rails, and tactile surfaces.

Work has also been completed on the installation of new floating pontoons at the Governor Road boat ramp. The new pontoons are longer than the existing ones to allow for more capacity.

An update on the Better Boating Victoria website reads that it is also

“working with the City of Kingston to upgrade the Governor Road boat ramp carpark to increase boat and trailer parking capacity.”

“The upgrade will reconfigure the layout and provide for a small number of extra car-and-trailer spaces. The upgrade will also improve the surface of the parking area, provide safer pedestrian access and landscaping.

“A concept design has been developed which aims to achieve the following: provide approximately nine additional trailer/boat parking bays, install a queuing lane beside the boat ramp

to improve the flow and efficiency for launching and retrieval of vessels, upgrade the existing car park pavement, kerb, channel and drainage, improved traffic flows to and from Governor Road, additional landscaping around the carpark, including planting three new indigenous trees for every tree that needs to be removed, and improve the footpath network.”

NEW pontoons at Governor Road.

Picture: Better Boating Victoria

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AWARD WINNING ADAPTATION OF ANIMAL FARM HITS THE STAGE AFTER a year off the road thanks to the pandemic, shake and stir theatre company are keen to be back on stage and bringing their award winning production of George Orwell’s intensely powerful novel to Frankston Arts Centre.

Co-artistic director Nelle Lee explains it is not just about performing, but performing for and engaging with audiences, which is an essential ethos of the company, “It’s important to be able to offer programs to regional Australia as well as those metro cities. For a company like ours, it’s essential that we maintain that touring circuit, which is such a big part of what we do.”

This production of Animal Farm has taken a novel that is a gritty, disturbing tale and turning it into a passionate theatrical romp where the cast enthusiastically portrays the animal characters in a spirited, physical

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News

21 July 2021

performance, bringing the farm and its tragedy to life.

While many may see the choice of story as poignant, considering the state of the world, even pre-pandemic Lee felt the time was right to resurrect the adaptation. There will be some nods to Trump in there, certainly the tag line of ‘Making Animal Farm Great Again, Again’ hints that the Trump presidency, which many described as Orwellian, was on their minds when choosing what to take on the road.

Created by shake & stir and directed by Michael Futcher, Animal Farm promises to be one of the most shocking, relevant and wickedly funny theatre events of 2021. Book now to see it at Frankston Arts Centre on Friday 27 August, 7.30pm. Tickets at thefac. com.au or 03 9784 1060.

Improvement to tunnel vision TUNNELS along EastLink are the first in Victoria to be lit by LED lights.

Over four nights, 1066 high pressure sodium (HPS) lights were replaced with 1174 LED lights.

Up to 60 technicians and 22 scissor lifts worked through the night to remove the old HPS lights and install the new LEDs. The toll road operator says the replacement LEDs are brighter and whiter than the orange HPS lights.

"The upgraded lighting will improve safety for motorists, by making the driving task easier,” EastLink corporate affairs manager Doug Spencer-Roy said.

Operators in the EastLink control room were benefiting from an improvement in the quality of CCTV images.

EastLink incident response and emergency

service personnel would also benefit, as brighter, whiter lighting would make the management of incident sites easier.

"If a motorist is injured in a vehicle collision, attending paramedics will find that the new brighter, whiter lighting will assist with their treatment of the injured person,” Mr Spencer-Roy said. "Should there be a vehicle fire, Fire Rescue Victoria will have a brighter environment in which to operate their equipment."

"We estimate that the new LED lighting system will consume 26 per cent less power than the old HPS system, which will reduce greenhouse gas emissions by around 469 tonnes each year.”

The 39-kilometre EastLink tollway connects the Eastern, Monash, Frankston and Peninsula Link freeways.

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NEWS DESK Police patrol

with Brodie Cowburn

Man survives stabbing A MAN has survived a stabbing in Cheltenham.

At around 11.40am on 13 July, a 57-year-old painter working on Jellicoe Street was approached by two men while walking to his car.

A verbal altercation started, and the

painter was stabbed in the lower back.

After the offenders fled, the painter returned to work. He later realised the extent of his injuries and was taken to hospital where he was confirmed to be in a stable condi-

tion.

The two offenders were last spotted running towards the Nepean Highway. An investigation is underway to find out who they are.

A statement from Victoria Police read that “the two males are per-

ceived to be Caucasian in appearance, tall and both were wearing dark clothing and carrying satchel bags. One man was wearing red shoes.”

Police are looking for witnesses or dashcam and CCTV footage to help

solve the crime. Anyone with information can contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or make a confidential report at www.crimestoppersvic.com.au

Fish and chips assault POLICE are appealing for public assistance to solve a vicious assault in Frankston North from last December.

At around 8.14pm, 14 December 2020, a victim became involved in a verbal altercation with unknown men outside Seagull’s Fish and Chips on Excelsior Drive in Frankston North.

The victim was then physically assaulted.

One man punched the victim in the head, then another kicked him in the head while he was on the ground.

The offenders fled the scene, then the victim left after getting up. The victim sustained serious facial injuries.

Police believe two or three males were involved in the attack.

More than six months on from the assault, the investigation continues. Police are asking for any witnesses or anyone with information to come forward. Any information can be provided to Constable Sage at Carrum Downs Police Station on 8770 4100.

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News

21 July 2021

TWO aggravated burglaries took place at an apartment complex in Frankston last week.

At around 9.30pm on 15 July, a man and two women kicked open a front door of a Nepean Highway apartment. The man was armed with a knife.

The offenders demanded a woman’s property, stole personal items, then left. The occupant was not physically injured.

Later that night, police believe the same trio broke into another apartment. The occupant awoke and chased the offenders away.

Police are now appealing for any witnesses to come forward to help arrest the offenders.

Anyone with information can contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000 or at crimestoppersvic.com.au

Protecting Melbourne’s green wedges - while we still can

By Associate Professor Janet Stanley and Professor John Stanley* THE natural areas of Melbourne are under threat at the same time as there’s growing evidence of their importance for humans.

In the late 1960s, the Victorian government designated 12 areas, covering 17 municipalities around Melbourne, as land set aside for recreation, conservation, farming and resource utilisation purposes.

These areas are known as green wedges.

Over the past 60 years the world has changed.

The rapid population growth and expansion of Melbourne’s footprint, along with the subsequent losses in biodiversity as increasingly scarce natural environments disappear, are particularly important to the future of green wedges.

While these areas have mostly been retained, our research argues that the current legislation defining and protecting green wedges is in urgent need of updating as it’s not keeping pace with threats to these important areas of biodiversity and highvalue ecosystems.

The total population of Greater Melbourne increased by a quarter between 2006 and 2016, averaging 2.3 per cent annually between 2011 and 2016 – a very high rate when compared with cities in other industrialised countries.

This has put increased pressure on the ability of green wedges to meet the demands for multiple uses, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic, as many people rediscovered the importance of natural spaces for their health and wellbeing, and are increasingly using these spaces.

Two other issues have coincided with this added pressure – the first is environmental loss.

Australia has the highest extinction rate of mammals in the world and is the fourth worst country for all animal extinctions. This is due to land clearing and climate change, with the associated increase in large and severe wildfires.

Despite this rate of extinction, very little protection is offered to Australian flora and fauna.

There are 194 animals, 53 invertebrates and 380 plants listed as threatened under the Victorian Flora and Fauna Guarantee Act 1988, most of which don’t appear to have a protection plan.

On top of this, many species have been left outside this act – dangling on experts’ Advisory Lists.

And these lists suggest that four-fifths of Victoria’s threatened flora and 284 threatened species of fauna remain outside the act.

Ironically, this extinction crisis is happening at the same time as we’re seeing an increasing recognition of the importance of biodiversity for the health and wellbeing and, indeed the survival, of humanity.

Along with the many ecosystem services that our natural environment provides – like trees that improve our air quality, undertake carbon sequestration, reduce the heat island effect and stabilise soil – there are many positive impacts as a result of people’s interaction with nature. These include improving wellbeing and self-esteem, reducing stress responses and blood pressure, and even improvements in attention span and memory.

So, where green wedge areas are at risk of being lost to another use, particularly those with high levels of biodiversity that also have significant biolinks (wildlife corridors that connect pockets of native vegetation), there should be very strong grounds for comprehensive protection that rules out that alternative use.

Irreversibility is at stake here.

Replanting new trees and under-storey is important but doesn’t substitute for a 300-year-old habitat. And these threats to high biodiversity areas are happening here in Greater Melbourne.

Hillview Quarries, owned and operated by the R E Ross Trust, recently applied for an environmental effects statement (EES) for a new quarry it is proposing for owned land within a green wedge area.

The new quarry would mean the clearing of up to

38 hectares of native vegetation in the heart of one of only two substantial contiguous areas that represent the last 18 per cent of intact native vegetation on the Mornington Peninsula.

The quarry would be bordered on two sides by the Arthurs Seat State Park.

A limited ecological assessment of the proposed quarry area has identified that at least 28 endangered species are on the site, six listed under the Federal Environmental Protection and Biodiversity Conservation Act 1999, including the swift parrot, which is critically endangered.

The proposed site is also an important koala habitat and breeding ground and this kind of significant habitat loss is likely to make koalas functionally extinct on the peninsula.

The land has what are probably the oldest eucalyptus trees on the peninsula, that provide important nesting locations for the threatened powerful owl.

And, in terms of plants in the area, there are many native orchids, some not yet formally catalogued, and the land is rich in fungi – some of which isn’t yet officially identified.

Conservation of these kinds of high-value ecosystems must be ensured within the green wedges.

There should be no trade-off here. Ancient trees and complex habitats that are home to particular species simply cannot be offset or replanted elsewhere.

Conservation aside, there are also other arguments against a narrow and inappropriate use of land in the green wedges.

The proposed quarry is expected to create around 35 jobs. Meanwhile, growing tourism and lifestyle activities in the region – many of which depend on nature – generate around 10,000 jobs in Mornington Peninsula Shire.

Some of these jobs would likely be lost should an industrial scale quarry go ahead in a highly visible part of the Arthurs Seat escarpment, particularly with associated pollution, loss of underground

water, noise and a steady army of quarry traffic.

The Victorian government’s strategic assessment of future demand and supply for quarry products demonstrates that Victoria has an ample supply of granite for the remainder of this century, without the proposed new quarry. So “need” isn’t an issue here.

The quarry site would be of much more value, both now and in the future, if it was added to the Arthurs Seat State Park as a natural resource for generations of Victorians and visitors.

This would also support further growth in tourism, provide a natural asset for Melbourne residents, and remain an important site for biodiversity and conservation.

While this is just one specific example, ensuring the future biodiversity values of Melbourne’s green wedges and updating the legislation to prioritise their importance for the health and wellbeing of the Melbourne population, is of prime importance.

The protection of irreplaceable natural areas isn’t an issue of trade-offs if humans and other species are to survive our climate futures. *Associate Professor Janet Stanley is principal research fellow, Urban Social Resilience, Melbourne Sustainable Society Institute, Melbourne School of Design, University of Melbourne.

Professor John Stanley is Adjunct Professor, Institute of Transport and Logistics Studies; Senior Fellow in Sustainable Land Transport, University of Sydney Business School.

This article was first published on 28 June at pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/ Picture: Yanni

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News

21 July 2021

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NEWS DESK

Artworks in the running for awards SHORTLISTED works for awards will be exhibited at McClelland Gallery in Langwarrin from next month.

The pieces on display are in the running for awards totalling more than $50,000. Drawings, watercolours, and ceramics will be in contention.

The top prize, the Rick Amor Drawing Award, is worth $20,000. Three winners of the Splash Contemporary Watercolour Award will be chosen, receiving $10,000 each. A tertiary arts student will receive $3000 for a ceramic artwork.

Funding for the awards were from the Fornari Bequest, artist Rick Amor, and Mary and Lou Senini.

McClelland director Lisa Byrne said the exhibition is “an important snapshot of contemporary practice, and a wonderful opportunity to support artists who we know have been doing it hard during lockdown.”

“The 2020 lockdown appears to have stimulated regular artistic practice, with many artists portraying intensely internalised subject matter reflective of this period of restricted lifestyle,” she said.

Curator Simon Lawrie said “drawing and watercolour have traditionally been used for preparatory sketches and studies ahead of finished paintings or sculptures. These Awards demon-

strate the vibrancy of drawing and watercolour practice as exciting media in their own right, full of invention and experimentation.”

The exhibition runs from 28 August to 7 November. The winners will be announced on 5 September.

RICK Amor’s, The Dog, 1990.

Bridge beam building begins COVID restrictions and inclement weather have changed the times that Springvale Road will close for Mordialloc Freeway works.

Work has begun to install bridge beams over the road.

Construction work did not take place on 20 July, but will for the rest of this week. Springvale Road will be closed to all traffic between 8:30am and 5pm on Wednesday 21 and Thursday 22 July. The northbound lanes on Springvale Road will be closed between 8:30am and 5pm on Friday 23 July.

An update from Major Road Projects Victoria read “for northbound traffic, detours will be in place via Wells Road, Governor Road and Lower Dandenong Road. Northbound traffic on the Mornington Peninsula Freeway should exit early at Frankston-Dandenong Road and detour via Greens and Hutton roads. For southbound traffic, detours will be in place via Wells Road and Governor Road, and Mornington Peninsula Freeway.

“You’ll still be able to access the Mornington Peninsula Freeway when travelling southbound on Springvale Road, or via Wells Road and Thames Promenade. There will be bus stop closures and detours in place for Route 902 bus services.

“There will be traffic delays while we complete the work so please allow an additional 30 minutes for your journey.”

Cars promote kidney health

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News

21 July 2021

THREE Frankston locals will set off from Mudgee in rally cars next month to raise money for children with kidney disease.

Kevin McDonald from Carrum, Brett Davidson from Langwarrin, and Anthony Coulson from Frankston South will team up to tackle the Kidney Kar Rally. The six-day rally will begin in Mudgee and span Meadow Flat, Lithgow, Oberon, Cowra, Adavale Lane, West Wyalong, Hay, Finley Narrandera, and Young.

Kidney Health Australia Chief Executive Officer, Chris Forbes, said “with the pandemic halting much of our community fundraising activity last year, it’s great to have the Kidney Kar Rally back raising vital funds to help children and young people deal with the physical,emotional and psychological impacts of this life changing disease.”

“About 63 people die with kidney related diseases every day, and currently 1.5 million Australians are unaware they have early signs of the disease, so, the rally is also a great platform to connect with and educate local communities about kidney disease and the importance of prevention, early detection and support,” Mr Forbes said.

The rally drivers are aiming to raise $500,000.

The cars leave on 14 August. 52 rally cars will take part.

100 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK...

Mrs Griffith dies at nearly 100 years Compiled by Cameron McCullough MRS Hannah Rose Griffith, who passed away after a brief illness on the 10th inst at “Danby Lodge,” Somerville, was born nearly a century ago at Bangor, Wales.

She was one of six daughters of the late James Courtney Cottingham. She had two brothers, one being Judge James Cottingham, of Manchester, and the other, Christopher Cottingham, the Editor of the “Mercantile & Shipping Gazette,” London, whilst her cousins were Sir Hercules Robinson (later Earl Rosemead) and Sir William Robinson, Governor of NSW and later of Victoria.

Her early life was spent in Dublin.

She was tutored with her friend, Lady Ann Fitzgerald, at the Duchess of Leinster’s home. She was both accomplished and fascinating, and for some time was considered to be one of the belles of Dublin.

She was married in 1848 at St George’s, Dublin, to Arthur Hill Griffith, a leading solicitor in Dublin, who was a scion of the ancient Griffith family of Penrhyn, Wales, and 30 years her senior.

Subsequent to this – his second marriage – Mr Griffith took up a country estate at Gortmore, County Westmeath, and it was here that all the family, consisting of nine sons and two daughters, were born.

In 1870, Mr Griffith decided to come to the Antipodes, whither his brother, Hon Charles Griffith (a member of the first Victorian Legislative Council) and his cousins, Molesworth Green and the Very Rev. Hussey Burgh Macartney, D.D (first Dean of Melbourne) had

preceded him.

Mrs Griffith accompanied him, with nine members of the family, the eldest, James de Burgh, remaining at Trinity College, Dublin, to complete his medical course; another son, Walter Hussey, being already settled in New Zealand, where the family arrived after a passage of six months.

Subsequently the family settled in Victoria, and Melbourne became their home. Here the family grew up and entered their several professions.

Two became doctors, Dr J. de B. Griffith, of Somerville, and Dr C. A. Griffith, of Berwick; another, Hon Arthur Griffith, took up politics, and became Minister of Education in New South Wales; the others entered various banks.

Few of the family, however, married.

The number of grandchildren (viz, 11) was exactly that of her family, whilst the great grandchildren numbered twelve.

Mrs Griffith was widowed in 1882, and she finally decided to live with her eldest son, Dr J. de B. Griffith, keeping house for him until the time of her death.

For some years, Dr Griffith practiced in Carlton, from where he went as Medical Officer of the famous Bushmen’s Contingent to the South African War. On his return from a subsequent visit to England, he, in 1906, settled in Somerville, where the home was later totally destroyed by fire but rebuilt.

The late Mrs Griffith had lived under five Sovereigns, viz:—George IV, William IV, Victoria, Edward VII, and George V. She possessed almost up to

the hour of her death wonderful powers of both mind and body, and until her last brief illness – the only serious one through life – was remarkably active and energetic.

She was at all times interesting, kind hearted and generous to a fault.

Being of a deeply religious nature, she possessed a calm, sure faith in things eternal, and of later years was ever prepared for and joyfully anticipated her death, which was truly the end of a long journey.

She died quietly and peacefully of asthma of the heart and was laid to rest in the Frankston Cemetery on Tuesday last, several of her sons and grandsons being present as mourners, and quite a number of friends to pay their last respects to her memory.

The solemn service of the Church of England was impressively read by a grandson of the deceased, the Rev. Maurice de Burgh Griffith, M.A., B.D. who conducted a short service at the house before leaving.

The Rev. A. P. McFarlane assisted in the service at the graveside; also speaking a few words eulogistic of the deceased lady, whom he had known for a number of years.

The coffin was of polished oak and was covered with floral tributes from relatives and friends. *** AT the delegates meeting last night it was decided that investigation be made by the Mornington Peninsula Football Association regarding the allegations made against Johnston and Laidlaw, of the Carrum Club, who are alleged to have been dis disqualified for life by the Federal Association last season.

These players are to be asked to sign a declaration, and if their disqualification prove actual fact Carrum will most likely lose all the matches they have won when these players have played.

A full report will appear in our next issue. *** IN order to avoid holding concerts in the Mechanics’ Hall on successive nights the Children’s Cantata and grand concert in aid of Frankston Methodist Honor Board will be held on Tuesday, 16th August, instead of Friday, 19th August. *** A DEFINITE move has been made in the direction of securing a Soldiers’ Memorial for Frankston. The Memorial Committee met last Friday night (Cr Oates in the chair) when it was decided to call for competitive designs.

The secretary (Mr H. Vicars) reported that about £600 was in hand towards the estimated cost of £1300.

A further asset is held in the Club Room, now held by the Returned Soldiers. Messrs A. Hill and Hugh Morrison were appointed trustees of this building. *** GOOD old time hospitality was experienced at “Malunnah,” the residence of Mr A. H. Gregory, on Wednesday evening last, when members of the Frankston Football Club were entertained at a social evening.

A delightful time was spent by a large and merry company, who found the fleeting hours all too short.

Occasion was taken to congratulate Frankston’s youthful and popular

captain, Mr Reg. Coxall on having that day attained his 21st birthday, and his health, proposed by President McCulloch, was drunk with enthusiasm.

“Reg” make a response which was heartfelt and appropriate, but his performance as an orator is far short of his prowess on the football field. *** ARBOUR Day, celebrated at the Frankston school on Monday last, was a memorable event.

The day was beautifully fine, and there was a large gathering of parents to assist in the proceedings.

The Head Master, (Mr J. D. Jennings) conducted the visitors over the spacious grounds, already bearing testimony to artistic and intelligent treatment, and giving promise of charming and unique effects, when the full scheme of plotting and planting has been completed.

The children rendered an interesting programme of songs, recitations and dialogues, and speeches were given by the Shire President (Cr W. P. Mason), Mr J. F. Bell (Presbyterian Minister) and Dr Maxwell.

Others in attendance were Rev. MacFarlane, Crs Oates and Wells, and members of the school committee.

There was a representative attendance of ladies, who were keenly interested in the proceedings, and several planted an olive tree each.

After the serving of tea and cakes, Mr Jennings, by request, planted a fine chestnut tree, and some girls then recited “The Village Blacksmith”. *** From the pages of the Frankston and Somerville Standard, 15 July 1921

Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News

21 July 2021

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ACROSS 1. Prod 7. Prank 8. Beef cut 10. Melting away 12. Parents’ mothers 14. Jetty 16. Fixing pin 17. Undeveloped

20. Profound 23. Bird of prey 24. Precious stones 25. Sacred poem

DOWN 1. Nuzzling 2. Provoke 3. Requests 4. Masculine 5. Spiteful 6. Business union 9. Pottery ovens 11. Steered (course)

13. Deciduous tree 15. Not explicit 16. Made insensitive 18. Respect 19. Clergyman 21. Deities 22. ... & lasses

WHAT DO YOU THINK? HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL?

‘It makes me feel disturbed.’

‘What is that guy doing up there?’

‘That place looks familiar.’

‘I’d love this painting on my wall.’

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21 July 2021

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THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES

Lockdown Five: The Assignment Miami Beach Parallel

By Stuart McCullough LOCKDOWN number five. As sequels go, we’re definitely heading towards the shallow end of the pool. Nothing good ever came of installment number five. Looking at this purely from a ‘Police Academy’ point of view, that puts us in ‘Assignment Miami Beach’ territory. I could bore you with plot details, if there were any, but it’s enough to say that this particular sequel didn’t even include Steve Guttenberg; whose absence rendered it something worse than pointless.

There’s a law of diminishing returns. It’s a law even more powerful than the one that requires you to wear a mask whilst at the supermarket so your glasses are continually fogging up as you attempt to read your shopping list. I, however, am determined to make this lockdown count. Forget learning a new language or acquiring a new skill.

I refuse to squander this lockdown by adopting an on-line fitness program – a pointless exercise that involved actual pointless exercise. No way. This time, I’m surrendering to binge watching.

When I was a kid, ‘binge watching’ referred to what you ate when watching television rather than the act of watching television itself. Eating Milo straight from the tin whilst watching ‘The Fall Guy’ was as close as I ever came. But in this era of content on demand, ‘binge watching’ means something else entirely, even if it is still best done with a tin of Milo and a spoon to hand. I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I’m not sure how, but I’d never seen ‘The Sopranos’. It’s meant to be one of the greatest shows of all time and whilst as someone who used to regularly watch ‘It’s A Knockout’ I treat such

claims with skepticism, it’s time I filled that particular pop culture knowledge gap. But I plan to mix things up. Rather than solely indulging in something

new, I plan to engage in nostalgia also.

Which is why I’ve dusted off my DVD collection of ‘A Country Practice’; all fourteen seasons spanning some two

hundred and two separate discs. That ought to fill a five-day lockdown nicely.

‘What?!’ I hear you cry. ‘You’re not using lockdown for a Police Academy marathon?’ Put simply, no I’m not.

That’s because I saw ‘Police Academy Five: Assignment Miami Beach’ at the cinema. Every smutty joke, ribald innuendo and moment of acting so hammy that if you slapped two pieces of bread around it, you could call it a sandwich, was projected onto a forty-foot screen.

That was nearly thirty-five years ago and all I can say is that I’m yet to fully recover.

Lining up a bunch of DVDs to watch feels like I’m stepping back in time.

Nowadays the idea of getting up to change one disc for another seems like an incredible burden. But for all the convenience that streaming offers, you never get buffering when you’re watching something on DVD. There’s something to be said for that kind of reliability. Specifically, ‘phew’.

A couple of days into lockdown and I’m finding ‘The Sopranos’ kind of tense. To balance that out, I’m swapping between Tony and the gang and the lovable characters from Wandin Valley. Esme Watson is the ying to Paulie ‘Walnuts’ Gualtieri’s yang. I don’t want to put it too highly, but watching two entirely different series simultaneously feels like it may be an act of genius.

I need to disclose something at this point – I’m terrible at watching television. Don’t get me wrong; I like movies and TV shows. It’s just that I struggle to stay awake. For me, watching a film involves me viewing (and enjoying) the first forty-five minutes before waking up as the credits roll. Invariably, vari-

ous plot points have developed whilst I’ve had my eyes closed and I’m confused. After all, it’s not as though I’m re-watching ‘Police Academy Five: Assignment Miami Beach’ for which being unconscious is probably highly desirable, with the added bonus that you won’t miss important plot developments because there aren’t any.

I’ve been enjoying both ‘The Sopranos’ and ‘A Country Practice’. However, as is my way, I’ve nodded off a few times mid-episode. At times I’ve been kind of befuddled. So much so, that I’ve started to blur the lines somewhat and treat them not as two separate shows but a single series. Dr Terrence Elliott sitting down with Big Puss at the Bada Bing. The bit where Fatso the Wombat is promoted to ‘captain’ before becoming a rat (being a furry quadruped probably made the transition an easy one.)

And I’m still reeling from the episode where Bob and Cookie get clipped for heisting a truck full of plumbers’ overalls on the outskirts of Wandin Valley.

However long this lockdown lasts, at least I’ll have made the most of it. As overwhelming as being separated from friends and family is, I’m mindful it’s all for a bigger purpose. Besides, things could be worse – you could be stuck inside watching Police Academy Five on a continuous loop. Soon enough, we’ll be able to celebrate. Or as Tony Soprano once so memorably said to Sergeant Frank Gilroy as they enjoyed a counter meal down at the Wandin Valley public bar; ‘It’s almost time for turkey sandwiches!’ So true. stuart@stuartmccullough.com

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21 July 2021

CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS

scoreboard

FV boss confident of completion SOCCER

By Craig MacKenzie FOOTBALL Victoria is holding its nerve and continues to look positively towards the completion of the 2021 season.

FV CEO Kimon Taliadoros this week expressed confidence in the stewardship of the state government and Sport and Recreation Victoria despite the sport facing its second shutdown this season.

“I’m comfortable that we’re in good hands,” Taliadoros said.

“I feel that the state government and in particular sport and rec are now so well drilled that we can get the most out of this season that we possibly can.

“After working so closely with government and the local councils last year I feel that we are well placed to make sharp judgements but in the meantime all everyone can do is to monitor the numbers.”

There has been much conjecture as to how many games it will take for FV to make a call on the important promotion and relegation issues that didn’t come into play last year when the 2020 season was scrubbed.

While Taliadoros won’t be drawn into speculation over how many games would constitute a season there’s been talk that completing a minimum of 16 games in the 22-game season could suffice.

Currently most local clubs have played 13 games.

Mornington has played 12 but there’s a bye in State 1.

In State 2 Peninsula Strikers have played 12 games but have a game in hand (a postponed away fixture against Doncaster Rovers) while Somerville Eagles are the only local State 4 club to have only played 12 games due to a postponed away fixture against Sandown Lions.

The picture in State 5 is less clear as the fixtures have been disrupted by the withdrawal of Endeavour Hills while Mount Martha is the only club in that league to have played 13 games.

“The first thing we think about is the financial wellbeing of the clubs,” Taliadoros said.

“Once we feel comfortable about that then we can think about the integrity of the competition.

“The implications of lockdowns may prove to be significant but at this stage we remain confident that we can still complete a full season.

“After the last lockdown Football Victoria refixtured to ensure the season could be completed and that wasn’t the case with other sports.

“The challenge for us is how we manage the time available to us before the season switches to summer.

“That’s always a consideration for many com-

Quietly confident: Football Victoria CEO Kimon Taliadoros presents the Eagles Cup at May’s clash between Somerville and Baxter. Picture: Darryl Kennedy

munity clubs – not so much NPL clubs – as they are obliged to hand over their grounds to summer sports and while that’s an opportunity for us to try and work with other sports it’s an enormous logistical challenge for us and really it’s only something we can do effectively when we have some certainty.”

In the worst case scenario that season 2021 becomes our sport’s Groundhog Day there is every reason to believe that FV and its 365 member clubs won’t be left teetering on the edge of a financial abyss.

“State government provided us with a substantial grant last year that effectively enabled us to survive financially and work through that complicated refund policy,” Taliadoros added.

“That ensured we could spread that money as

Red Can Man eyes off another Group Three HORSE RACING

By Ben Triandafillou DAVID Brideoake will be looking to land backto-back Group Three successes with his newly acquired sprinter Red Can Man on Saturday.

The former Western Australian sprinter has had two runs under the Mornington-based trainers care, with his most recent resulting in a gusty long-neck victory in the Group Three Sir John Monash Stakes (1100m) at Caulfield.

He’ll be looking to continue his successful run at the track on Saturday when he lines up in the Group Three Bletchingly Stakes (1200m).

Looking to take substantial improvement from his first-up run when finishing beyond midfield at Flemington, Brideoake believes the gelding relished getting onto a firmer surface second-up and gained plenty of fitness from his first-up outing.

“He had been a long time between runs and I think he just needed a pipe opener [first-up],” Brideoake said.

“He got onto a four or a five (track rating) the other day and showed good improvement.

He’ll take natural improvement with it being his third run in and I think he should be competitive

come Saturday.”

Red Can Man, who finished within three lengths of the winner in the Group One Winterbottom Stakes (1200m) at the end of his last prep, will face another talented galloper from Mornington on Saturday.

Shane Nichols’ dual Group One winner Streets of Avalon is also set to resume in the Group Three contest.

Brideoake, who is in a purple patch of form having saddled up 17 winners from his last 50 runners, said he was more worried about the rainy forecast more than anything.

“They’re proven Group One horses there so I’m not going to get too carried away,” he said.

“It is very hard to take on a horse like Streets of Avalon but I’m sure there’ll be plenty of other handy horses in there as well. I think watching (Red Can Man) win the other day though, a lot of people will be in his camp.

“I’m very happy with him but I’m a bit concerned about the weather. He looks better suited on top of the ground.”

Red Can Man, who has now earnt $863,090 in prize money, has had just the two starts in soft conditions or worse and has finished outside of the placings on both occasions.

Meanwhile in State 3 news league leader Frankston Pines was stunned by the impact of its recent social media announcement about the signing of Fijian international midfielder Nickel Chand.

The post reached 24,157 facebook accounts.

It also stimulated interest in Pines from five other Fijian players and two Nigerians who have played alongside Chand.

All are keen to join.

In State 4 news Zach Peddersen has returned to his role as director of football at Somerville Eagles.

The local club announced some off-field changes last week.

Peddersen retains the role of club secretary while Neil Wypior has joined Stan Packer as senior assistant to player-coach Dave Greening.

Nathan Brown will fill the goalkeeping coaching role vacated by Wypior.

far and as wide as we could in order to maximise its positive impact.

“If not for the government’s meaningful grant our sport and our football economy would be substantially weaker.

“The other thing government has been particularly good at is the speed at which they’ve acted to ensure we could operate in a COVID-safe environment.

“They’ve been really efficient in that area.”

But it’s not only state government that has offered a financial lifeline.

“The federal government subsidies came in the form of JobKeeper last year.

“That was meaningful as well for us so the combination of that and the state government grant was really significant.

“Our revenues dropped by almost 80 per cent and these initiatives enabled us to stand up for the 2021 season.”

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21 July 2021

PAGE 11

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21 July 2021