28 September 2016

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Chelsea • Mordialloc • Mentone

Chelsea Mordialloc

Mentone

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Storm tunes up to sink Sharks HYPE surrounding the AFL and Rugby League grand finals next weekend makes a Chelsea man proud of his personal contribution to this city’s enviable sporting scene. He wasn’t a star player, or even an official, but Phil Wall, a member of Chelsea SES, can lay claim to writing the theme song for the Melbourne Storm Rugby League club way back in 1998. The song was used for the first time at the start of the 1999 season – the year the team won its first flag. “It was one of those crazy things,” Wall said yesterday (Tuesday). “I was watching [Storm captain] Glenn Lazarus on the old Bert Newton TV show at the time and he was saying the club was looking for a theme song. “The next morning my wife came up to me in the kitchen and asked me what I was doing: I said I was writing the Storm’s song – it had just come to me.” A keen lyricist for more than 40

years – but who admittedly knows nothing of rugby league – Wall said he teamed with musician mate John Mohl to add a tune to the words of his song: We are the Storm. “The idea behind the title was that if the song were chosen, it would be the crowd singing it,” Wall said. “This meant that when you play Melbourne Storm in Melbourne, you are not just playing the 13 guys on the park, but also the thousands of fans in the stands, hence, we are the Storm.” That led to a funny experience at one game not long afterwards, Wall said. “After a win, I was singing along with the crowd and the lady next to me whacked me and said: “If you don’t know the words don’t sing the song.”

Tuned to success: Lyricist Phil Wall and composer John Mohl play their Melbourne Storm theme song. Picture: Gary Sissons

Robbers hit supermarkets Stephen Taylor steve@baysidenews.com.au THE same two men are believed responsible for terrorising staff in three night-time supermarket robberies at Cheltenham, Dingley Village and Ferntree Gully, Monday 26 September. In the first robbery, at 9.15pm, the men armed with a meat cleaver and a machete, and wearing balaclavas and

gloves, ran into the Centre Dandenong Rd Woolworths store and confronted three female employees at the cash registers. They demanded cash from the tills and were handed $1500 before running outside. None of the women, in their 20s and 30s, was hurt. It is not known how many customers were in the store at the time. Witnesses saw the men driving off in a silver Camry sedan with registration

plates UYZ360, which are believed to have been stolen from another car. Woolworths spokesman Craig Simonetto said there were a small number of customers in the store at the time of the robbery, with staff and customers largely unaffected by the incident. “We have now increased security measures around the store,” he said. “Security staff are now being employed. I cannot comment on the CCTV matter.”

Police believe the same pair then raided the IGA supermarket in Bernard St, Cheltenham, at 9.37pm. Offenders carrying the same weapons and with their faces covered, confronted two male staff members in their early 20s and ordered them away from the counter. They stole cash from the tills as well as another envelope containing cash and a quantity of alcohol. After throwing a sweets stand into

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the front car park the men stole the wallet and car keys from a staff member and ordered him to take them to his car in the rear car park. They got into his car but, realising it was a manual, jumped back into the Camry and sped off. The men are believed to have then raided the IGA supermarket at East Oakleigh at 9.50pm. Staff members at the supermarkets are being offered counselling.


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Candidates line up for council poll Keith Platt keith@baysidenews.com.au FIFTY-five candidates are standing in next month’s election for the nine seats on Kingston Council. There are 14 candidates for the three seats in Central ward, 18 in North and 13 in South. Seven of the nine current serving councillors are seeking re-election. Crs Paul Peulich (North ward) and John Ronke (South ward) are not standing, although the Peulich family will remain a force within the council if Savo Peulich succeeds his son in North ward. Savo Peulich, who is married to South Eastern Metropolitan Region Liberal MP Inga Peulich, says the city needs “electoral reform to break the back of voting blocs� which have been hurting the municipality. His son Paul says his eight years on council has been “a substantial commitment; it’s a large chunk of a person’s life�. He said he has recently completed

Navy opens gates

post-graduate business studies and was finalising contracts and developing an import and export business. Cr Peulich said the slow pace of achieving outcomes and a negative culture within Kingston Council made him realise “I might get more done outside [of council]�. Cr Peulich said he had not ruled out entering state or federal politics and would “see how the next year or so goes – there are obviously opportunities at the federal level�. Regarding his father Savo’s bid for election to council, Cr Peulich said: “He’s run previously and has always been interested in politics. By running he gives voters a choice.� The postal election is being run by the Victorian Electoral Council and ballots must be in the mail by 6pm Friday 21 October or hand delivered to the election office, 7/18-20 Bond St, Mordialloc (open 9am-5pm weekdays excluding public holidays). Candidates’ details and their statements are at www.vec.vic.gov.au/ KingstonElection/Candidates/

HMAS Cerberus will hold an open day, Sunday 23 October, to mark the end of Navy Week. Those attending can bring a picnic, buy lunch from one of the food stalls, including an army field kitchen. Activities will include military fly pasts, air force hot air balloon team, army vehicles, navy helicopters, fast roping from helicopters, federation guard precision drill displays food stalls, bands from all three services, vintage cars, and children’s activities. The base’s steam truck will also make an appearance. Teams of sailors will compete to “rescue� a shipmate from the far side of a “river�. Entry off South Beach Rd (Melway map 194 D1). Mess dinner On Remembrance Day – Friday 11 November – sailors from HMAS Cerberus will hold their annual Sydney-Emden Mess Dinner to commemorate HMAS Sydney’s defeat of the German raider Emden 102 years ago. Fleet Commander Rear Admiral Stuart Mayer will be guest speaker.

October for golf

Aqua acrobatics JUSTIN Donoghue provided some aerial acrobatics on his jet ski during the lunch break for competitors at the Victorian Jet Ski Boating Association’s contest on Sunday. Association members were competing in time trials at the National Water Sports Centre, Patterson Lakes. The association’s next contest starts 9am Sunday 23 October. Picture: Gary Sissons

GOLF courses across the Mornington Peninsula will throw open their doors for Golf Month in October. The national campaign encourages people to get involved in golf. Backed by the golf industry and promoted through a national marketing campaign, clubs and facilities around the country hope to re-engage with lapsed golfers, get new people into the game and promote the benefits of golf club membership. There are prizes for participants in Golf Month. Details: golfmonth. com.au

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Chelsea • Mordialloc • Mentone

NEWS DESK

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

Taking aim: Camp Manyung’s Jim Boyle watches as Margaret and Kevin Begley experience try their hands at archery in the YMCA’s new seniors program. Picture: Yanni

Health awaits outdoor seniors CAMP Manyung, Mt Eliza, is running programs to encourage seniors to get active in the outdoors. The YMCA camp’s outdoor adventure program includes sea-kayaking, archery, high ropes and bike riding will launch on Friday 7 October at 25/35 Sunnyside Rd, Mt Eliza, and then run every month until April. The program will include challenges based on group members’ interests, as well as the weather. “We’re excited to be launching something that can make a difference to our community’s health and bring

people together,” manager Maree Feutrill said. “Research shows that, as people get older, their participation in sports and recreation declines and, for people aged 65, there’s a huge decline. “This lack of activity can lead to serious health problems and a sense of disconnection from their community.” Margaret Begley, 76, of Mornington, sees the program as a way of connecting with others and trying something new: “A lot of people my age are involved in different clubs, such as Probus and book clubs, but

this program is different as you can’t get these activities, such as archery, anywhere else. “We sit around too much; we need to get out and about and meet new people and get some fresh air – even if it’s just walking, looking at the birds and enjoying a cup of tea with others.” The program costs $12 and bookings can be made through Eventbrite bit.ly/outdoor_adventure Afternoon tea will be provided after the activity when those participating can discuss the day’s adventures.


Light and sound show at flick of an app Keith Platt keith@baysidenews.com.au ACTION, camera, lights and sound. The sequence might sound out of order, but it all adds up to security when applied to a new light developed by a Braeside company. Sengled The light has an inbuilt digital camera that transmits images straight to the Cloud and can be monitored by smart phone or computer. Even if the light is turned off, an infrared camera will record images in the dark. The Snap light also comes equipped with a speaker and microphone, which provides the opportunity to converse with someone knocking on the door, even if you aren't at home. David Clerk, CEO of General Innovation Australia, can quite rightly claim to have had a light bulb moment. Actually, there have been several light bulb moments that he and his team – including electrical engineer father, Fred, a former chairman of the Institute of Engineers – have come up with to extend the company’s product line. With LED lights becoming the norm (at one stage there were 5000 registered LED manufacturers in China) Clerk says his company needed “to think of something different in what was an eroding market”. Until now his company has been heavily involved in supplying and installing LEDs to business, including apartment blocks and department stores. Using the iPhone and its multiple

pixel-activated in three separate areas covered by its wide-angle lens, eliminating false alarms from branches or straying animals. The remote access also means that users can at any time take a look at the entire area covered by the camera. The app will send an alert to any mobile device if movement is detected and, if it’s a trades or delivery person, a two-way conversation can be had through the inbuilt microphone and speaker. Priced at $299 Snap includes free cloud membership and the storing of images for 24 hours. The images can be downloaded and used as a record or for evidence in the case of theft or break-in. Clerk says extra time can be bought to keep images for weeks on end if a property owner is going away on holidays or leaving a building unattended for long periods. The camera has face recognition and up to four can be running at the one time. Also in General Innovation’s stable is a smart lamp (Pulse) that includes 13-watt JBL Bluetooth speakers which can play sounds from any device, including an analogue turntable and amplifier, although this requires an extra converter. The dimmable LEDs can be fitted in any room in the house or workplace and their range, or distance from the router or gateway can be extended to 30 metres with Boost, which is an LED with a Wi-Fi repeater. Clerk says the LEDs are rated to last 25,000 and are likely to outlast the speakers.

David Clerk and the security light that includes a camera, microphone and speaker.

purposes as an inspiration, Clerk set about having a close look at the light bulb to see what else it could do besides illuminate. As a result, Snap is the flagship of a range of lights now being marketed by Machtig brand in partnership with Chinese manufacturer Sengled for commercial and private uses. Clerk, who lives at of Mt Eliza with his wife Sascha Schubiger (the company’s operations manager) and two daughters, was a brand manager for the Holden Racing Team while studying at both Monash University and Swinburne TAFE. A talented rower and former Hai-

leybury student, he had earlier won a scholarship to the Australian Institute of Sport and rowed in twos, fours and eights. His experience and attraction to motor racing has led to his company having an ambassador deal with Nissan-sponsored V8 supercar driver Rick Kelly. “Nissan is all about innovation and is a progressive car company,” Clerk says when explaining the “good fit” of the two companies. “Their latest logo is Innovation that Excites and they’re all about delivering new technology into the car world.” General Innovation Australia started

in 2007, following Clerk’s decade with the Philips lighting company in Australia and Hong Kong. Clerk says security is the cornerstone of Snap. It comes equipped with a high definition camera that is sensitive to movement. In the blink of an eye movement will turn on the light and the camera, instantly storing images in the Cloud. As previously mentioned, the camera will also record images even with the light off. The light comes with an app that enables the camera to be monitored from any device. The camera can be tuned so it is

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NEWS DESK

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

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NEWS DESK Police patrol Out with a bang MYSTERY surrounds the origins of a hand grenade left on a nature strip as part of a hard rubbish collection in Cheltenham, Saturday 24 September. The grenade was picked up by a fossicker and police were alerted by a resident who knew it had been thrown out and quickly managed to track down the fossicker who was unaware it was in a box in the back of his car. They placed it on the nature strip in Kimpton St and waited for the Army disposal squad to take it to Victoria Barracks for detonation. Police said the grenade appeared old and rusted.

Street punch

A MAN was punched in the face in a Mordialloc street causing him to fall backwards, hitting his head on the road and knocking him unconscious, late Friday night, 23 September. The man, 20, was with two mates on Centreway Rd near a hotel when he was abused by a passer-by who swung a punch but missed. The offender then assumed a fighting stance, dancing around and throwing punches, one of which connected with the victim’s face, splitting his lip. The victim fell backwards and was knocked out for 10 seconds, while his attacker ran off. Police later interviewed a woman suspected of being a friend of the attacker. They are also examining CCTV footage of the incident.

Sunglasses stolen

THIEVES stole 165 pairs of sunglasses valued at $30,000 from Sunglasses Hut, Direct Factory Outlets, Wednesday night, 21 September.

Police believe the robbery may be linked to another at Justsport on the same day as well as a previous robbery at the store. The sunglasses were in a room containing stock for other businesses within the complex protected by roller doors. Security staff earlier had concerns about a ladder placed up against a secure storage locker used by the business. Staff opened the locker and found stock strewn around inside. It was not until later that they discovered the stock had been stolen.

Van robbed

CASH was stolen from a takeaway food van in Nepean Highway, Chelsea, overnight Tuesday 20 September. Chelsea police said a jemmy bar was used to force open the door of the kebab caravan.

Racist attack

AN intoxicated man verbally abused an ATM user in Nepean Highway, Chelsea, Saturday night. The victim said he was standing behind the man at the machine when he turned around and said: “You f…king Asian people.” The victim began arguing with the man who then grabbed him by the throat and punched him in the chest. The victim tried to photograph the man who then punched him again in the chest, causing him to fall to the ground. A woman with the attacker said: “Quickly leave, the police will be here soon.” They then ran off and the victim reported the incident to PSOs at Chelsea station. The offender is described as Caucasian, 30-40 years old, 180 centimetres, thin build, short brown hair, wearing a t-shirt. Police will contact the bank to obtain customer transaction details at the time and obtain CCTV footage.

Snakes spring into action THE weather’s warming up and snakes are waking up. Just as warmer, sunny days send a signal that it’s fine for outdoor recreation the same applies for snakes, who see it as time to “get some sun, look for food and a mate”, according to scientist Nick Clemann. Senior scientist from the Department of Environment, Land, Water and Planning (DELWP)’s Arthur Rylah Institute Mr Clemann said people were likely to see snakes when “walking dogs, cycling, bush walking, enjoying parks and gardening”. “Snakes are more common in areas around the urban fringe or in rural areas, but they do turn up surprisingly close to cities and towns, especially around watercourses and in parkland,” he said. Snakes frequently found near the coast are tigers and lowland copperheads while in the drier areas the most common snakes were eastern browns and red-bellied blacks. “All four species are dangerously venomous, but it is

rare for them to bite people,” Mr Clemann said. “Being aware that snakes may be around and being informed about how to react to them are the most important aspects of managing snakes.” Mr Clemann’s advice to anyone seeing a snake was to “keep calm and try to move yourself, anyone with you and your pets away from the snake”. He said snakes were protected under the Wildlife Act 1975 and should not be harmed, killed or captured. “Bites can occur when people try to kill snakes,” he said. “Clean up around the house and cut lawns regularly – snakes are attracted to shelter such as piles of rocks and timber, sheets of metal, or building materials.” He recommended that first aid kits include compression bandages and if someone is bitten, call 000 immediately. For more information call DELWP on 136 186 or call a licensed snake catcher. Keith Platt

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PAGE 7


Your level crossing – join the conversation We are removing 11 level crossings along the Frankston line between Ormond and Frankston.

Three crossings were recently removed in Bentleigh, Ormond and McKinnon and we are now planning to remove a further eight crossings between Cheltenham and Frankston: • Charman Road, Cheltenham

COMMUNITY INFORMATION SESSIONS Community information sessions are open to all community members to attend. No RSVP is required, drop in at any time.

When

Where

• Balcombe Road, Mentone • Edithvale Road, Edithvale • Station Street/Bondi Road, Bonbeach

Cheltenham and Mentone

• Station Street, Carrum

Tuesday 4 October, 6.30pm – 9.30pm Friday 7 October, 5.30pm – 8.30pm

• Eel Race Road, Carrum

Edithvale

Kilbreda College 118 Mentone Parade, Mentone

• Seaford Road, Seaford

We want to hear what you think of the options under consideration for removing these crossings. We’re hosting a range of forums and information sessions, and you’re invited to come and have a chat with our project team. Each session will focus on local crossings. We will present a range of information, including maps, plans and technical information on the options under consideration.

Saturday 8 October, 9am – 12 noon

Mordialloc Secondary College 1 Station Street, Mordialloc

Bonbeach Thursday 13 October, 6.30pm – 9.30pm

Patterson River Golf Club The Fairway, Bonbeach

Carrum Tuesday 18 October, 6.30pm – 9.30pm

Patterson River Golf Club The Fairway, Bonbeach

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No decision has yet been made on a recommended solution for each level crossing removal. We want your feedback, so please attend one of the above sessions.

PAGE 8

levelcrossings.vic.gov.au contact@levelcrossings.vic.gov.au 1800 762 667

Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

Authorised and published by the Victorian Government, 1 Treasury Place, Melbourne

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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone

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28 September 2016

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$170,000 + sav INDUSTRIAL TAKEAWAY - FRANKSTON Large modern premises in busy, extensive commercial and LQGXVWULDO DUHD LQ FHQWUDO )UDQNVWRQ Opens 5 days 6.30am to 3pm. Has large rear storage, huge preparation space, coolroom. Phone/fax orders but no deliveries.

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NEW LISTING SHOE RETAILER - MORNINGTON 3ULPH SRVLWLRQ LQ 0DLQ 6WUHHW ZLWK good rent rate and long lease. Easy business to operate. Sole agency for ROC school shoes LQ 0RUQLQJWRQ DOVR IDVKLRQ DQG sports lines. Currently H/W team ready to retire.

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CONFIDENTIALITY APPLIES

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Tony Latessa CEA (REIV), AREI, ABB, MAICD Mobile: 0412 525 151 REIV BUSINESS AGENT VICTORIA Australian Institute of Business Brokers President (Vic). 34 years selling experience based on honesty and reliability Page 4

> CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE realestate 28 September 2016


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PAGE 13


100 YEARS AGO THIS WEEK...

Tragic drowning of 11-year-old boy Compiled by Melissa Walsh ON Saturday, at 6.30pm, Henry Woodward, about 11 years of age, was drowned at Carrum, and Mr C. Gill, the local dairyman, had a narrow escape from a similar fate. The boy, wanting to see the flood, had persuaded Mr Gill to take him with him in his cart on the way to Well’s road. To reach his destination he had to drive through the flooded portion. Suddenly the horse was carried off its feet, the cart went under, and both man and boy were swept into the water. Gill got the boy on his back and made a desperate effort to save him but while endeavoring to get to a shallower spot the boy was swept away again and drowned. The horse was also drowned, and with the cart disappeared. Neighbors have been out in boats searching for the boy’s body, but at a late hour on Sunday it had not been recovered. Several families have been taken in boats from their homes to a place of safety. *** MESSRS A. Scott and Co.’s monthly sale at Tanti will be held on Monday next, when a good yarding of stock will be forward. *** MESSRS Croft Bros., Somerville, notify that they have just opened up a choice lot of ladies’ and children’s summer millinery; also good range in fancy voiles, crepes, prints, muslins, and all the seasonable lines, to which they invite inspection. ***

OWING to the severe illness of the auctioneer at the last moment the furniture sale advertised to be held in Messrs Brody and Mason’s Mart, Frankston, last Wednesday, had to be adjourned, and it will now be held on Wednesday next, 4th October, instead of the usual produce sale. *** MR G. Hesselman who won the boat, which was given by Mr Marks to be raffled in aid of Xmas gifts for the soldiers in the trenches, has presented it to the Frankston District Roll of Honor to be raffled again. The work of art is on view at Mr A. Shannon’s store. *** AT a meeting of the committee of the Frankston District Roll of Honor Fund, the hon. sec. presented a balance sheet in detail of the Scotch Concert given by Mr Harry Skinner’s Company. This showed the gratifying result of £17 5s 11d clear profit. The committee wish to thank those who so kindly helped to make the concert a success especially Mrs H. Garrood and Mrs Moloney, and Mr F. R. Smith, for their donation towards the expense. The donations have been previously acknowledged in these columns. *** IT will be seen by an advertisement in another column that a meeting of the contributors to the various presentation funds to Frankston volunteers will be held at the Mechanics’ Institute, on Wednesday evening next. The chief business to be submitted

will be the arranging a sixth presentation to Frankston volunteers and the desirability or otherwise of afterwards closing the fund. The latter question has arisen from the fact that the issue of a proclamation is now imminent calling up all single men between the ages of 21 and 35. A good attendance is looked for, to fully discuss the subject. *** THE balance sheet presented by the “Wattles” Club for the purchase of crockery for the use of returned wounded soldiers is as follows:— Receipts—To sale of tickets, £2 12s 6d;cash taken at door, £2 5s 6d. Total £4 18s. Expenditure:—Rent of Mechanics’ £1, printing tickets, 6s.funds for crockery £3 12s. Total £4 18s. Balance sheet of “Wattles” Club dance held on 22nd, to raise funds for filling billies and boxes for the soldiers:— Receipts— cash taken at door, £2 17s; cake raffle, £1 18s 9d; tray cloth raffle, £1 10s, total, £6 5s 9d. Expenditure— Rent of hall, £1; music, 1s ; candles, 8d; billies, 3s 9d.—£2 0s 5d. Cash in hand £4 5s 4d. Total £6 5s 9d. *** IN speaking of the splendid work done by the stretcher bearers who were at the taking of Pozieres, Lance-Corporal A. D. Baily, in writing to the London office of the Melbourne “Herald” says, “They were just wonderful,” he declares. “They did the bravest things on the battleground.

There was one little chap—Corporal Bates—working all the time at fixing the wounded up with field dressings, with only a sand bag between him and the Germans, and he did the business as coolly as if he were watching Carlton and Fitzroy on a Saturday afternoon.” Corporal Bates mentioned above is the son of Mr A. E. Bates, of Mornington formerly resident of Frankston. “Bobby” Bates, as he was familiarly called, was one of the best of Frankston’s footballers, and was a general favorite with all. His many friends will be pleased to hear of him as still going strong. *** THE “Wattle Club” dance, in aid of Christmas boxes for the soldiers, was not as well attended as was expected, owing undoubtedly to the extremely wet night, but those who did brave the elements were amply rewarded, spending a very pleasant evening, dancing to good music supplied by Miss Daniels, of Melbourne. The sum of £5 was raised by the effort, which will go towards providing some small amount of cheer for somebody’s brothers, who are so badly in need of a little encouragement from their own Australia. A tray cloth, made, and presented by Miss Spillane, and a beautiful cake, presented by Mr Marks, were raffled during the evening and were the means of swelling the fund to a great extent. The cloth was won by Mr Grice,

and the cake by Mr Heselman. During the evening Miss Gray (the late secretary of the club) was presented with a handsome case of afternoon tea spoons and cake forks, on the eve of her marriage. Mr Lidgerwood, in making the presentation, referred to the excellent work Miss Gray had done for the club and her untiring efforts to bring it to the flourishing state it was now in. He expressed the feelings of all present in wishing Miss Gray all the good luck that could come her way. Mr C Paynter briefly responded on Miss Gray’s behalf. Supper was partaken of, and dancing renewed with fresh vigor till 1 o’clock. *** THE “Wattles “ Club. will hold a dance this (Saturday) evening in the Frankston Mechanics’ Institute in aid of the local Red Cross Society. First class music will be provided, and a most enjoyable evening is guaranteed. The hot water kettle donated by Mrs Hay will be drawn for during the evening. *** AT the invitation of the committee of the Frankston Mechanics’ Institute the stallholders at the recent bazaar, and their friends met, and were entertained in the Hall, on Wednesday evening last, when a very happy time was spent in cards, music and dancing. *** From the pages of the Mornington Standard, 30 September, 1916

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PAGE 14

Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016


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THE MEANING OF EXISTENCE... AND OTHER SHORT STORIES

Census working overtime By Stuart McCullough YOU’RE welcome. By all means, send your best wishes by card, email or carrier pigeon but please, no flowers. After all, it truly was my pleasure. In fact, you might even say it was my duty. The weight of personal obligation aside, do spare me a thought when the next school, hospital or sporting stadium pops up in your neck of the woods. For I have done my part to make all these things happen. Granted, mine is a modest contribution, but without it you might have had to settle for a cinder-block bus shelter and a give-way sign. That’s right: I have completed the Census. As a highly connected, supercharged bona fide digital citizen of the twenty first century, I completed my Census online, albeit about three weeks after it was originally scheduled. After all, Census night did not go entirely to plan this time. Having said that, the sheer glee with which some people celebrated this slight technical hitch was, I feel, bordering on ungracious. Indeed, not since the residents of Munchkinland reacted to seeing the Wicked Witch of the East get totally mangled by an errant farmhouse that fell out of the sky by singing ‘Ding Dong the Witch is Dead’ have we seen such a display of malevolent delight. To all those naysayers, I say ‘so what?’ So what if on the big night the webpage fell over quicker than an elephant on an ice rink? That should not detract from the unmitigated glory that is Census night. The fact that it was a schmozzle of near-Biblical propor-

tions (most likely the book of Revelations) matters not one bit. Truth is, I don’t care whether they pulled down the page because we were under sustained cyber-attack by a hostile foreign government intent on wreaking revenge for making fun of their Olympic swimming team or a fifteen year old who used one too many doubleadapters to accommodate his X-Box, Census night is still awesome. I know that some people – even members of the Australian Senate – have raised concerns about privacy. This is result of a change in data handling practices. Apparently the Bureau of Statistics plans to hold on to our names for four years instead of the usual eighteen months. Granted, four years is a long time to not have access to your own name, but I see it as

something of an opportunity. I’ve always wanted to make a name for myself and the loss of my real name is the perfect excuse. Either Lord Squishy Thundertrunks or Sir Selwyn SausageFingers would be great (unless those names are already taken). That said, I’ve always lacked the necessary DIY skills to make anything much, including a name for myself. There’s a risk that I may not get past the blueprint stage but it’s a risk I’m prepared to take. It’s worth it. However, sometimes I don’t think we give Census night the credit it deserves. Christmas comes every year. Census night is only once every five years. Statistically speaking, Census night is five times more special than Christmas and should be treated as such. We should not only record who we were

with on the big night, but exchange gifts also. Come to think of it, five years is way, way too long to wait. The Census should be annually. And it shouldn’t just be about where to build the next school or municipal building but where to locate convenience stores, fish and chip shops and reliable dry cleaners who do more than simply claim same-day dry cleaning but, gosh darn it, deliver it. Life moves too quickly to have to wait half a decade for anything. On second thoughts, even annually is not enough. Make it weekly. Scratch that. The Census should be fitted to your car like an interlock so that every time you turn the key to head down to the shops, you have to fill out your form before the engine will start. That way, at least the questions that impact

road infrastructure will be front of mind. In this world of ‘sat nav’ and ‘touch screens’, the car is pretty much a laptop on wheels anyway. Anything is possible. Then there’s the matter of the questions themselves. We should settle everything through the Census. Perhaps we could even change its name to ‘Con-Census’ to indicate that we, as a nation, have resolved all manner of issues by general agreement. Information about where to build schools and hospitals is all well and good, but there’s no reason why we couldn’t go a lot further. Issues such as marriage equality could be swiftly resolved. In fact, forget lining up to cast your vote in an election – the Census would replace queuing up at your local primary school. Now that I think about it, the Census should incorporate your footy tips, Christmas list and who Richie should have chosen in the season finale of The Bachelor. (I still feel the result would have gone Alex’s way. Truly.) The problem isn’t that the Census is too invasive. It’s that it doesn’t go far enough. Sometimes I wish I could look at my previous Census forms. It’d be like flipping through a digital photo album. In a funny way, the Census underscores the inevitability of change; both personally and as a nation. It’s a neat reminder that time, however ordinary it may seem, marches forward regardless. We can only hope that we keep up. Best wishes - Lord Squishy Thundertrunks Esquire, Tyabb. stuart@stuartmccullough.com

Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

PAGE 15


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Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

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CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS

scoreboard

Who can challenge Stonecats? PENINSULA LEAGUE

By Toe Punt IT was six premierships in seven years for Frankston YCW last Sunday. What an unbelievable achievement from a lot of dedicated off-field people and a committed on-field group. Question now is, will this continue? A competition-wide salary cap of $150,000 per year is expected to effect the Stonecats. How do they keep the list together? Do the players take a significant pay cut to stay together? Or, as some would have you believe, after so many flags, now is the time to explore other opportunities. With absolute respect to Frankston YCW (they absolutely deserve to have achieved the success they have!), this would be the best thing for the Peninsula competition. There is daylight between the Stonecats and the rest of the competition and players leaving is the only way to even things up. The Player Points System doesn’t allow clubs to go out and recruit to catch-up. So, as we approach the mad ‘offseason’ period, what can you expect from your club as they prepare for 2017. Frankston YCW: The Stonecats need to appoint a coach and appoint one quickly. Opposition clubs are circling the Stonecats and a new coach needs to reel them in quickly. YCW historically have appointed within, however, now might be the time to look outside, to bring some freshness to the list. The key for this club and the new coach is simply to hang onto the 2016 list and improve relationships with others pushing for selection. BJ Credlin needs to go on The Recruit in 2017! Mt Eliza: Mt Eliza looked unbackable at half time in the grand final last

Picture: Andrew Hurst weekend. By three-quarter time, you couldn’t get off them quick enough. As good as the Mounties were, there’s still a gap. They’ll all be better for the ‘learning’ year of 2016. There were 46 players who played senior footy this season for Mt Eliza. The reserves and Under 19s won their third straight flag. There’s absolutely no reason to think that they won’t be there on the final day again. Pines: The first thing the Pythons needed to do was lock away Aaron Edwards – they did that last week. Tim

Bongetti has committed. Pines just needs to add some depth to their line up and a few recruits in the off-season will assist with that. Pines is also keen on getting hold of 19 and 20 year-olds, like Brad Kiely, so they’ll be active in that space. Bonbeach: The Sharks were considered a bit of a smoky coming into this year’s finals but let themselves down. They took a while to get going in 2016 (lost first four games) and really never played their best footy consistently. Consistency is the key, as is adding a

couple of recruits to the list and keeping Shane McDonald. Edithvale: The Eagles have already got back Brent Bowden and Matty Clark and are hopeful of getting back Brad Tagg, which would be a formality you would expect. There’s some exciting kids coming through who got a taste of it late and in a final. There are some powerbrokers looking after recruiting, so expect them to land a few. Seaford: The Tigers improved rapidly under the guidance of Ben Mur-

phy in 2016 and they’ll take another step again. The club is young and Murphy would have learnt a lot about his group and the competition. The Tigers have already picked up goal kicking midfielder Damien Rayson, who has played VFL. Expect more recruits to follow. Mornington: The Doggies were the disappointment of 2016. A soft preseason cost the Dogs at the beginning of the year and they came storming home late. Their top-end talent is as good as any and they have some great kids who were exposed to senior footy this year. With a strong pre-season, the Dogs will be the big mover. Karingal: The Bulls have landed a new coach in former VFL assistant Andrew Sharp. The red and white are hopeful of some Dolphins’ recruits on the back of that appointment. Leigh Poholke has left, as has ruckman Grant Goodall. Grant leaves a big hole. Luke Van Ran Raay and Michael Burke will go around again. The kids will take another step. Recruits is the key for the Bulls, as is a clear and concise game style. Langwarrin: The Kangaroos did a lot better in 2016 than anyone outside of the club expected. Some kids got an opportunity and rose to the challenge and there’s plenty to work with. The club is likely to continue on the ‘youth’ path. Ideally, they could do with a key forward and backman and a couple of midfielders with silky foot skills. Chelsea: The Seagulls are stable, both on and off the field. It’s been a while since that has been the case. Brett Dunne and his coaches have all been reappointed, the majority of the list has resigned and the off-field group is united. The Gulls just need a big pre-season and a couple of recruits and they’ll be a whole lot more competitive for longer in 2017.

Blues to set benchmark in 2017 NEPEAN LEAGUE By Toe Punt THE 2016 Nepean Division season may have come to a conclusion with Hastings winning the flag, however, the silly season is about to begin as teams prepare to challenge in 2017. For footy clubs, the season never finishes – one season just rolls into another. Who’s going to take us to the next level? Where did we fall short? These are the questions that coaching groups and committees discuss at the conclusion of every season. It’s the catalyst for hundreds of phone calls being made between now and the first bounce of 2017. So what would be the plans of your club in the off-season? Hastings: Success breeds success! The Blues have already landed former VFL player Ricky Ferraro and the hot word is that there are others to follow, although the club is keeping its cards close to its chest. The Blues got their mojo six weeks out from finals and I can only see them improving as a group. I doubt very much they’ll lose

PAGE 18

anyone and there will be no premiership hangover. Frankston: The Bombers know they weren’t far away. Ryan Kitchen needs to get himself super fit. He had a big reputation coming in but finished the third or fourth ranked ruckman in the comp. He will make a significant difference if he can get himself right. Mitch Bosward and Jay Reynolds have been linked all season. A tougher draw in 2017 will make them a better and more hardened team. Rosebud: The Buds are looking for their third coach in as many years. Nick Jewell wanted a commitment from the club in 2015 and didn’t get one, so he committed to a club (Sorrento) that wanted to invest in him. 2016 coach Michael Kraska lost the support of the playing group and it was unworkable moving forward. The Buds need to get this right for 2017 and beyond. What’s best for the footy club long term? It seems there’s too many agendas both on and off the field with word players are dictating who the club should and shouldn’t interview for the top job. They simply need to find the best coach available. They missed on now

Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

Mt Eliza coach Troy Shannon last year because they dragged their heels. The right decision needs to be made. Their list is outstanding and they’ll challenge again with the right coach. They need to keep Greg Bentley! Somerville: All eyes will be on this club in the pre-season. Bevan Malloy has been appointed coach. The question is, who will stay and who will go? Scott Simpson is on his way to WA and Luke Rowe is off to the US. What will Josh Westerman, Billy Rolfe and Tim McGennis do? What will Tim and David Hirst do? Todd Farrelly has retired. If the Eagles can keep the same list and add a couple, they’re good enough to be there again. Red Hill: The Hillmen were superb in 2016. They have already added one of the league’s best ever, Chris Irving, who will play as a forward. They need a ruckman and another onballer to help Sean Marchetti. They might be close with a big man. The return of Paul Wintle in defence would top them off. The Hillmen will make a massive leap and challenge if they can get what they need. Sorrento: The Sharks will be the big

movers in 2017. Myles Pitt and Leigh Poholke return up forward, Daniel Grant comes back into defence and Rob Forrest returns from a knee in the middle. Add that to a premiership Under 19 team with enormous talent with a taste of senior experience and the Sharks will be there when the whips are cracking. Rye: The Demons will no doubt be looking to bring on some more Under 19s this season. A good crop of Under 17s are coming up and they’ll be exposed to senior footy. Rye has also been able to hang on to the nucleus of their recruits, including Ryan Mullet and Kris Bardon. They should have a few points up their sleeve and will no doubt extend their recruitment web. Dromana: The Tigers will be hoping to see the return of some of their stars from yesteryear – using the great Rikki Johnston (coach) to lure them. Their kids will hopefully get into the gym in the off-season and come back stronger. The Tigers’ best was good enough. Consistency is the key. Devon Meadows: The Panthers will be hoping for some luck in 2017. They were hit with the injury stick in 2016

and emotionally they were rocked and knocked. There will be no excuses in 2017. They recruited well in the offseason last year and just need those players to take the field more often than not in 2017. Crib Point: The Magpies were the big disappointment of 2016 after some heavy recruiting. With Brad Arnold now in charge and having the respect of the entire playing group, expect the Magpies to be a lot more competitive next season. Pearcedale: The Panthers have appointed Leigh Stewart as coach for 2017. Former coach Jamie Merchan is still onboard. The key for the Dales will be hanging onto their list as opposition clubs circle during the offseason. Tyabb: The Yabbies improved rapidly in 2017. There were a couple of big losses in there but on the whole, they were very competitive. Having former North Melbourne powerbroker Ron Joseph playing a mentor role off the field, as well as helping out, will be a significant bonus for the club, which has stability.


CHELSEA MORDIALLOC MENTONE NEWS scoreboard

Skelly, Sharpe ensure perfect Heart beat SOCCER

By Craig MacKenzie ROSEBUD Heart cemented its claim as Victoria’s team of the year by clinching the State 5 grand final in a penalty shootout last Saturday at Murphy Reserve in Port Melbourne. The season finale presented Heart with the opportunity to continue its perfect record having won every league game in State 5 South and becoming only the third senior team in the past 54 years to achieve such a feat. Heart went into this clash with State 5 North champion RMIT as a firm favourite but the large group of travelling Heart fans soon found out that their side was in for the fight of its life. The first good chance fell to Heart scoring machine Dave Greening but his first-time strike was straight at RMIT keeper Danny Graham. In the 12th minute RMIT signalled its intent when strikers Will Barclay and Jol Latcham combined for the latter to hammer a low drive across the face of the Heart goal. Barclay and Latcham ran Heart’s defence ragged at times and were constant threats. Heart defender Blake Hicks was forced into a hurried clearance a few minutes later then Heart’s Ryan Monk failed to hold off Barclay whose turn and shot was parried by Heart custodian Sean Skelly. But Heart hit the front in the 26th minute from a superb far post Hicks corner that found central midfielder Daniel Hodge who headed home from point-blank range. That didn’t deter RMIT and within a minute Skelly was forced into a great one-handed save to keep Latcham at bay. RMIT was creating the better chances and in the 36th minute Barclay’s cutback from the left of the area teed up Sam Wood who shot straight at Skelly. Two minutes later scores were level. A mistimed pass by Monk near the halfway line allowed RMIT to hit Heart on the break. Skelly charged off his line and although he smothered Latcham’s first attempt he was stranded when Latcham gathered the rebound and calmly curled it over the big keeper and into the unguarded goal. Six minutes into the second half a superb opportunistic effort from Greening on the turn forced a stunning reaction save from Graham who tipped the goalbound shot onto the post. Monk was forced off through injury in the 62nd minute to be replaced by James Liddle in central defence but that didn’t diminish the threat posed by RMIT’s strike force. Twice in a minute Barclay blew chances to break the deadlock. In the 74th minute he shot wide from the left of the area and in the 75th minute he ballooned his strike from the edge of the box. In the 76th minute Hodge’s header forced Graham to palm the ball wide and in the 82nd minute Graham charged off his line and tripped Greening only for play to be waved on. In the 88th minute RMIT substitute Dan Jones got clear on the right and his cutback was met by

tireless midfielder David O’Reilly whose shot was deflected for a corner. Heart fans erupted in the 90th minute when Greening timed his run perfectly and broke through only for an assistant’s flag to force the referee to give an offside ruling. In the 93rd minute a cross from Hicks on the left found Greening who controlled well then shot low but Graham was able to tip the ball out for a corner. That forced the sides into two 15-minute halves of extra time and players on both sides were feeling the strain. RMIT had reached the final by defeating State 5 West champion North Melbourne Athletic 2-1 after extra time the previous week whereas Heart strolled into the final when semi-final opponent Healesville forfeited. Heart veterans Adam Poole and Simon O’Donnell had soldiered on in the second half of normal time but eventually O’Donnell had to go off and was replaced by Aaron Young. In the first minute of extra time Greening wriggled clear on the left of the area. Rather than cut the ball back to Hodge he decided to shoot from a tight angle and Graham was able to parry. Barclay broke down the right in the 4th minute and cut the ball back for Latcham but Liddle slid in and intercepted and Heart eventually cleared. In the 11th minute of extra time Hicks swung in a corner to the near post which was only cleared to the incoming Poole who mistimed his strike from 10 metres. One minute into the second half of extra time Skelly smothered Barclay’s shot which rebounded off Liddle and the near post before being scrambled clear. The final chance to settle the issue fell to Young who had been played in by Greening but couldn’t finish and the referee’s whistle signalled that penalties would separate the teams. Heart fans grew in confidence knowing Skelly’s reputation as a shot stopper and the lanky keeper didn’t let them down. Chris Smith took the first penalty for RMIT and Skelly sprung to his left and parried the ball wide but Hicks blew that advantage by striking the next penalty straight at Graham. O’Reilly made no mistake and Heart midfielder Cory Osorio did likewise. The decisive moment came when Barclay took the next penalty. He struck the ball firmly enough but again Skelly flung himself to his left and again he parried to give Heart the advantage. It was a cruel blow for Barclay who had clearly been one of RMIT’s best and subsequent penalty conversions from Liddle, RMIT’s Michael Jones, Greening and Dan Jones gave Heart left back Beau Sharpe the opportunity to win the match. As his firm strike hit the back of the net his teammates charged towards him from the halfway line and soon the Heart huddle included players, coaches and fans yelling and rejoicing at the end of a season that will live long in their memories. A season the like of which we may never see again.

Sudoku and crossword solutions

The Wright stuff: Jonny Wright with a 95cm snapper he landed at Mount Martha

Spring has sprung and the fish are biting FISHING

By Paul Pingiaro WELL it’s fair to say Melbourne’s spring weather has been very typical. Four season in one day seems to be the norm at the moment, however when the weather gods shine the fishing has been quite good and the good news is it’s only going to get much better. This time of year the majority of anglers focus on snapper. While the large schools of fish are still a few weeks away, it’s very promising to see some great early catches. Anglers fishing off the Rocks at Mt Martha, Mornington and Brighton are catching some nice fish up to 3kg, those that are on the boats are seeing some nice fish up to 5kg, best places are the shallow reefs (5-12m). Best baits are fresh squid and pilchards. With early season fish burley is a must. For those in the boats try Mornington, Mt Eliza, St Kilda and wide off Carrum. Mornington Boat Hire this week reports: “the squid have continued to fire, while the pinkies are slowly starting to show, Jonny managed to land a 95cm snapper! Flathead have been in good numbers and there’s a few nice whiting off Mills Beach”

In Western Port some nice snapper have been getting caught in the North end. Joes Island and Crawfish rock have all produce some lovely fish up to 7kg. Some nice gummy sharks to 15kg have also been caught here as well. Yaringa Boat Harbour this week reported “Snapper to 6kg, gummy sharks to 10kg and squid to 2kg and a lot of size flatties in the channel. Joes’ and Tyabb bank have been the most popular locations. Those heading offshore into Bass Strait have been catching gummy and school shark to 15kg” Those that are looking to bag a few whiting should be looking toward the southern peninsula. Rye to Sorrento has held the most fish, while there are a few nice patches of fish from Mornington to Mt Eliza they are a bit harder to find. Squid this week have continued to be good. Great catches have been had all through the southern peninsula and the top end of Western Port. Boats have been more productive as of late with the squid but as the weather calms down this will even out a bit more. Paul Pingiaro has been a fishing writer for over 15 years and again will be sharing his tips and tricks with us again this season www.morningtonboathire.com.au

GOLFERS! Win D FXVWRP ¿W VHW RI LURQV VXSSOLHG E\ &HQWHQDU\ 3DUN *ROI &RXUVH Simply play a round of golf at any of the below courses between now and 10th Oct 2016, and send in your scorecard for a chance to win. Edithvale Public Golf Course – Fraser Ave, Edithvale Centenary Park Golf Course – McClelland Drive, Frankston Mornington Golf Club – Tallis Drive, Mornington Mt Martha Public Golf Course – Forest Drive, Mt Martha Devilbend Golf Club – Loders Road, Moorooduc Cerberus Golf Club – HMAS Cerberus, Crib Point Safety Beach –10 Country Club Dr, Safety Beach Bay Views Golf Course– Elizabeth Dr, Rosebud Rosebud Country Club – 207 Boneo Road, Rosebud Flinders Golf Club – Bass Street, Flinders St Andrews Beach Golf Course – 209 Sandy Rd, Fingal Moonah Links Golf Club – 55 Peter Thomson Dr, Fingal The Dunes Golf Links – 335 Browns Rd, Rye ONE SCORECARD PER ENVELOPE. INCLUDE YOUR NAME, ADDRESS & PHONE ON THE BACK OF THE ENVELOPE. ENTRIES CLOSE 17/10/16 POST TO MPNG GOLF, PO BOX 588, HASTINGS 3915 Chelsea Mordialloc Mentone News 28 September 2016

PAGE 19


A message from Cr David Eden

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ĆŒÍ˜ Ä‚Ç€Ĺ?Äš ĚĞŜ Authorised by D.Eden, 1 Berwen Lane, Chelsea

0422 557 917—contact@davideden.org—davideden.org

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Georgina Oxley for South Ward

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More affordable access to childcare, kinder and occasional care.

2

For mandatory planning controls to protect our suburbs from inappropriate development.

3

Lower rates, to bring them in line with neighbouring Founcils.

4

5

Ensuring all sporting facilities in Kingston have up to date facilities and dedicated female change rooms. Protecting our environment and open spaces—protecting our waterways and beaches from pollution and erosion. dĹ˝ ĎŜĚ ŽƾĆš žŽĆŒÄž Ä‚Ä?ŽƾĆš Ç ĹšÄ‚Ćš / Ç Ĺ?ĹŻĹŻ ĚĞůĹ?Ç€ÄžĆŒ ĨŽĆŒ LJŽƾÍ• ƉůĞĂĆ?Äž Ç€Ĺ?Ć?Ĺ?Ćš žLJ Ç ÄžÄ?Ć?Ĺ?ƚĞ Ĺ˝ĆŒ Ĺ?Ğƚ Ĺ?Ĺś ĆšŽƾÄ?ĹšÍ˜ Authorised by G. Oxley, Unit 25/95 Edithvale Rd, Edithvale

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georginaoxley01@gmail.com

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