Welcome Page JLT:- Page 2

Parents and Carers will know that one of our current school priorities is reading. We believe strongly that the more children can read widely and fluently the more opportunities open up. Our two-week Festival of Reading at the start of this term was our biggest and most successful yet and you can read about the rich and varied experiences on pages 22-24.

We continue to think deeply about the curriculum we offer our students. Just a reminder that you can always stay fully informed of what your children are studying in class by using the curriculum tab on the website https://www.cherwell.oxon.sch.uk/416/curriculum-overview. The KS3 booklets provide a very detailed insight into how the learning for students is shaped. We have been focussed since Christmas on helping our younger students in particular to fully understand how they know and remember more in their subjects. This idea (we like the acronym KARM) is explained here so do please take a look. https://www.cherwell.oxon.sch.uk/1905/learning-1

It has been wonderful over the past few weeks for our students to begin to use our new 3G football pitch. It really is a stunning addition and, as you will see from the comments on pages 54-55, it is already making a significant difference to the experiences of children in school. We are looking forward to the whole community benefitting from this new resource as we move into the Summer months.

I wanted to pay a particular tribute to those students in Year 11 and Year 13 who will be spending some of the Easter holidays deep in preparation for their final GCSE and A Level exams. We know that they are working exceptionally hard and have coped incredibly well with the challenges throughout their courses over the past two years. Matt Barnard, our Lead counsellor offers some brilliant wide- ranging advice on pages 4-9, much of which I think is particularly relevant for all of us supporting children in their final revision over the next couple of months (I have a son in Year 13 and a daughter in Year 11 so I do understand the challenges at first hand!). As we are supporting the children through the emotional ups and downs of revision please do note the superb revision advice materials that can be found here https://www.cherwell.oxon.sch.uk/426/revision-information as well as Mr Hilton’s video which offers a clear summary of how examinations have been adapted for this current group.

Do have a wonderful break

Chris Price Headteacher April 2022

JLT is the Junior Leadership team and we meet fortnightly with Mr Price, Headteacher.

JLT is comprised of students from Year 7 through to 13. Because of the wide range of different ages it enables us to tackle a large selection of topics and issues that arise.

We run for a whole calendar year to increase our maximum impact, and this year we have been having a focus on:

MESSAGE FROM THE JUNIOR LEADERSHIP TEAM (JLT)

• Site improvements for both North Site and South Site. For example, the catering company changed just after Christmas and whilst they are still adjusting, they have been quick to act on our suggestions and improvements.

• An important topic that we have also been focusing on is how to change our curriculum, to include a wider selection of literature and a larger range of voices in history.

We want to make sure that everyone has their voices heard and that we act upon the changes that the school community wants, so if you have any suggestion, find someone in your year that is in JLT and let them know.

The Secret Mental Health Service

Matt Barnard - Lead School Counsellor

Late into the night there are numerous mental health conversations taking place on Snap Chat, Insta’, Discord or Messages that are nothing short of life saving. Young people are supporting other young people with their mental health every day. This unrecognised, much valued by its users is a secret mental health service doing phenomenal work in bedrooms across the catchment area and beyond.

I know first-hand the experience of feeling alone in the fight against depression or anxiety or both, and the value of having a sounding board for the dreaded spiral of late-night overthinking! In the isolation that often comes with mental ill health, knowing that there is someone out in the world holding you in mind and available at the end of a message; is an incredible feeling! So, I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all those young counsellors out there on behalf of all those that they are helping.

It can be a difficult balance when sending a message where you want to convey that you care and is not then open to being misunderstood. A few emoji’s can help convey something of what you mean, but there’s nothing like talking in person to keep things as you intended. If you are supporting someone in need, whether it’s your best friend or your child, here are a few things that we have learned over the years in the counselling service that might help you out.

Listen

A bit obvious I know. But with many things competing for our attention you might have to say to yourself, I am going to make a conscious effort to really listen and do nothing else. Being present is a skill, so practice not thinking about what’s for dinner, what homework you’ve got outstanding, or what’s on Netflix. Also, keep an eye on your urge to provide a fix. Hold on to that urge, listen and see what happens. You’ll be surprised how most people kind of already know what they need to do.

Judgement

I know many of us enjoy it, let’s be honest, but it’s not kind. It helps us to feel good about the parts of ourselves we’d much rather see in other people than ourselves. Judgement leaves people feeling bad about themselves, and stops them from speaking more freely about what’s bothering them.

I feel sorry for you

You might think you are being helpful, but it’s not helping you connect with the other person. ‘Empathy drives connection, whereas sympathy fuels disconnection’, according to the shame guru Brene Brown (check her out - www.brenebrown.com). She talks about how hard it is to bear difficult feelings as the listener, and so we try to silverline or fix things in the face of our own uncomfortableness. So focus on the emotions, work out with the person how they are feeling. What are they conveying or unable to say? Be curious, but not over bearing.

You’ve let me down…

When someone tells me, ‘I didn’t self-harm in ten days’. I want to jump up for joy and say, ‘give me a high five, well done’. I hold it in. Because I know that maybe one day they may self-harm again, and I don’t want them to feel that they have let me down which can so often feel shaming and filled with feelings of guilt. Or withhold, as they fear my reaction. If you don’t believe me think of the times when your parents have said to you, “I’m not angry with you, just disappointed”. Oh that use to work on me every time because I felt ashamed! Shouting never worked. It just turns your brain off and you can’t think.

Continued…/

It might feel satisfying to point the finger at others ‘he shouldn’t have spoken to you like that’, or ‘the problem is they can’t take a joke’. As a therapist once told me, ‘you might not be able to change people, but you can change how you respond to them.’ So encourage the person to think about how they could take a step back and reflect on what’s happening, work out what psychologically belongs to you and what belongs to the other person. Remember, you never know what someone else is carrying in their life.

Minimising or Comparative Suffering

We hear this a lot, where people feel they are wasting our time by coming to see us. They might say, ‘I don’t want to waste your time, there are people much worse than me’. I think this an indication that the person is struggling to be vulnerable, they can’t allow themselves to be taken care of or even take themselves seriously. So the best way to respond, is to model for them by taking them seriously. If it’s important to them, it’s impacting their life negatively, then they need help.

What to say when you don’t know what to say -

Well say exactly that, be honest! The person who is in distress is being vulnerable with you in sharing their most private, shaming, embarrassing, painful aspects of themselves. The least you can do is meet them on that same level. It’s okay to say, “It sounds really difficult right now, and I don’t know what to say to make it okay for you. But I’m here with you.” The truth is no quick fix strategy will heal the pain that has resulted in us from the pandemic, war in Ukraine, the loss of a loved one or the heartache that comes from being rejected by the person you’ve been longing for. Learning to tolerate unbearable feelings until they pass, it’s the best we can do sometimes. To avoid and pretend everything is fine and dandy, or using unhealthy coping mechanisms is going to do nothing but store up problems for the future.

Keeping yourself Safe

Before an aeroplane jets off to your holiday destination, the flight attendants will instruct you to “put your oxygen mask on first,” before helping others. Why is this so important? Because if you run out of oxygen yourself, you can’t help anyone else with their oxygen mask of course. In the same way, you’ve got to take care of your own mental health before you can help someone else with theirs.

If you find that you are worried about the person you are helping long after you’ve been in contact with them. You are unable to concentrate on your school work. You’ve got unwanted images in your head as a result of what you’ve heard. You start to dread the familiar ding of a notification on your phone. You are struggling to sleep. You feel triggered by their behaviour. Then now is the time to speak to a member of staff about your concerns. Knowing your limits, asking for help and taking care of yourself is what good mental health professionals do all the time. You can’t help someone with their brain if your own is frazzled, panicked or anxious.

Keeping the person you are supporting safe

If you get the feeling that something isn’t right. Perhaps they say something about wanting to give up or not wanting to wake up in the morning ever again. I know some of you might feel like you are being disloyal by speaking to your parents, calling the parents of your friend or speaking to your year team in school. However, in our experience all people who recover from mental health difficulties, we’ll be glad you stepped in and made sure they were safe. Don’t be afraid to ask the question ‘are you thinking of taking your own life?’ Ask yourself, What’s the worst that can happen by asking this question? They will either laugh it off and you’ll feel a bit daft for a minute. Or they’ll respond feeling utterly relieved that you are not judging them and can bear the pain of what they are going through.

Ideally you would speak with your Deputy Year Leader or your Head of Year. But any member of staff you feel comfortable speaking with, will take your concerns seriously and take action to help keep your friend safe. You may not know, but over a one hundred staff members have attended Mental Health training. We spend at least four hours learning about how to reduce the risk of suicide. So they’ll know what to do.