1st Week Hilary Term 2022

Pope Francis’ comments on parenthood are nothing new for childfree women

Pythagoras’ nightmare: Reincarnation and Coldplay

Hindi and Urdu: A language divided, or a shared history destroyed?

In conversation with Perez Hilton

1st Week Friday, 21st January 2022 cherwell.org Vol. 294 No. 2 Independent since 1920

Rhodes Scholar withdraws after ‘false’ claims of poverty Meg Lintern reports.

CW: Abuse

A Rhodes Scholar who claimed that she had grown up in the foster system has lost her scholarship after an investigation revealed that she grew up in a middle-class family and attended a $30,000-per-annum private school.

In November 2020, Mackenzie Fierceton was one of just 32 students to be awarded the Rhodes Scholarship to study at Oxford. The Rhodes Scholarship, which is the oldest and perhaps most prestigious global scholarship programme, pays for Oxford University fees as well as providing an annual stipend to successful applicants. According to its website, the Rhodes scholarship seeks students who display outstanding intellect, character, and commitment to service.

Fierceton has made various comments about her experiences in care, claiming to have been “bouncing around the foster care system throughout my life” and referring to herself as “low-income”. When her scholarship was an-

nounced, an article in The Inquirer celebrated her success, describing her as “a first-generation, low-income student and former foster youth.”

An internal investigation by a Rhodes committee concluded that Fierceton, who is a graduate student at the University of Pennsylvania, had “created and repeatedly shared false narratives about herself” for the purpose of serving her “interests as an applicant for competitive programs”.

On November 23rd, Penn received an anonymous email, which cast doubts over Mackenzie’s true identity and background. A subsequent investigation by The Rhodes Trust found that for the first 17 years of her life, Fierceton was raised by her mother in a wealthy community in Missouri. She did spend time in foster care, but left the system after less than a year. Fierceton has since withdrawn from the Rhodes programme.

However, she maintains that she told no lies.

Mackenzie claims that she suffered parental abuse: she told police in 2014 that her mother had pushed her down the stairs, after which she was hospitalised for 22 days. However, all charges against her mother, Dr Morrison, were dropped, on the grounds that they were “based

on false information.” Although Fierceton claims that the Trust is attacking a “survivor” of abuse, her position as a victim of abuse is contested by Penn.

In a lawsuit filed last month, Fierceton accused the University of Pennsylvania and Trust investigators of victimising her. Fierceton’s legal defence centers around an alleged ‘cover up’ of the death of a former Penn student. She claims that the investigation into her personal history was intended to discredit her as the key witness in a wrongful death lawsuit filed against the University of Pennsylvania.

In January 2020, Fierceton suffered a seizure on campus, and she alleges that it took over an hour for first responders to reach her. She believes that this delay was caused by the unsafe and inaccessible infrastructure of Penn’s campus buildings. Subsequently, she attempted to determine whether the death of her classmate, Cameron Driver, which occurred approximately 16 months prior to her seizure, was due to a similar delay. Penn denies this claim.

► Continued on Page 2

Image credit: Bryan Y.W. Shin / CC BY-SA 3.0.

OULC invites MP linked to Chinese spy Daniel Moloney reports.

Barry Gardiner, an MP with close connections to Chinese spy Christine Ching Kui Lee will speak at the Oxford University Labour Club, its term card released last week has revealed.

In a highly unusual public move, MI5 issued an alert about Ms Lee’s use of donations to “establish links” between the Chinese Communist Party and British political figures.

While Ms Lee was connected with all major political parties, donating £5,000 to Liberal Democrat Sir Ed Davey and receiving a Point of Light Award from then Prime Minister Theresa May in 2019, these are dwarfed by her interactions with Barry Gardiner.

Mr Gardiner received more than £500,000

from Christine Lee over 6 years, which was mainly used to pay staff. Further evidence of the close personal connection between the two was revealed by the inclusion of Ms Lee’s son on that staff, as well as a call from Ms Lee a week before the MI5 alert to inquire after the health of Gardiner’s elderly parents in law.

While insisting that the Chinese agent ‘gained no political advantage’ from him, he did admit to discussing Labour policy with her, though it was “not in great detail.”

Gardiner also stated that he had been “liaising with our security services for a number of years’’ about her and they had “always known, and been made fully aware by me, of her engagement with my office and the donations she made to fund researchers in my office in the past.”

Faced with the accusation he had been

a “cheerleader” for China in an interview with Sky News, Gardiner highlighted his past criticisms of the Chinese government, such as on climate change issues and human rights concerns. However, the connection between the former Shadow Secretary of State and a foreign agent who lobbied for Chinese interests in nuclear technology has raised eyebrows; particularly due to his guiding role in Labour’s energy and trade policies as a frontbench MP under Corbyn.

In light of this, many of his prior comments have come under renewed scrutiny, and no doubt will continue to do so now that Business Secretary Kwasi Kwarteng has ordered an inquiry. This could be uncomfortable for Mr Gardiner, who has made some controversial statements about China in the past.

These include when he deplored “the escalation of violence between protesters in Hong

Kong and ordinary people in Hong Kong”, a comment that led to The Guardian accusing him of being a Chinese apologist.

► Continued on Page 3

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NEWS

2

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3. SU demonstrates against Nationality and Borders Bill

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6. Pope Francis’ comments on parenthood are nothing new 7. A first date with anarchy?

Check out this week’s cartoon from Heidi Fang.

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18. A tour of foreign literature Continued from page 1 After Fierceton drew this issue to the attention of senior administrators and provided details of the alleged failures displayed in both medical emergencies, the lawsuit states that she had to be “discredited and buried” by the university.

She claims that the university conducted a ‘sham’ investigation, following which they forced her to voluntarily decline her Rhodes scholarship, threatening to withhold her master’s degree and even send her to prison if she failed to comply. Her defence claims that, as part of the plan, a senior Penn administrator authored a secret letter to The Rhodes Trust expressing ‘serious concerns’ about Fierceton’s credibility. Penn has denied that it conspired to take any actions against Fierceton and that it has any “co-conspirators” who engaged in wrongful acts.

In her complaint to Penn, Fierceton has issued a notice of preservation of evidence, demanding and requesting that Penn “take necessary action to ensure the preservation of all documents, communications, … items and things … which may in any manner be relevant to the subject matter of the causes of action and/or the allegations of this complaint.”

In Penn’s response to the complaint, the University declared that “every objective and careful reviewer of the facts in this case - including the Rhodes Trust, Penn’s Office of Student Conduct, a faculty committee from Fierceton’s graduate school at Penn, and a hearing panel consisting of faculty and students from other Penn schools - concluded that Fierceton had not been truthful.”

The University of Pennsylvania told Cherwell: “We are disappointed that Mackenzie Fierceton has chosen to file a lawsuit, especially after she has received so many opportunities at Penn. Ordinarily, we do not comment on pending litigation. This matter, however, is far from ordinary.

“The answer that we filed with the court tells the story more fully, but in brief, Penn

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26. Hindi and Urdu: A language divided, or a shared history destroyed?

32. The magic of the FA cup?

and the Rhodes Trust received credible information that called into question statements Ms. Fierceton made in her applications for admission, financial assistance, and scholarships. The Rhodes Trust conducted its own investigation, during which it considered evidence and arguments provided by Ms. Fierceton and her attorney.

It prepared a comprehensive report which was provided to Ms. Fierceton in April 2020.

The Trust then gave Ms. Fierceton the opportunity to withdraw her candidacy if she chose to do so. Ms. Fierceton accepted that offer and withdrew her candidacy. Since then, Ms. Fierceton has been involved in internal University proceedings, as described more fully in our court filing.”

“There is no basis for Ms. Fierceton’s claims. We are confident that Penn and the individuals named by Ms. Fierceton as additional defendants will be vindicated in the litigation.”

The Rhodes trust shared the following statement with Cherwell: “We can confirm that Mackenzie Fierceton withdrew her candidacy from the Rhodes Scholarship and is not a Rhodes Scholar.”

“Rhodes Scholars are selected on the basis of a powerful set of core criteria which include ‘truth … devotion to duty, sympathy for and protection of the weak.’ We strive constantly to ensure that the Trust’s policies and procedures uphold these values and that our selection process is robust and fair. We provide training resources for selectors on a wide range of topics, in order that applications are assessed diligently and without any form of bias. If concerns arise about an individual application, we review the matter carefully and give the applicant multiple opportunities to respond and share information.”

“We are deeply committed to our Legacy, Equity and Inclusion action plan. We are proud of the ever-more global and diverse cohorts of Scholars we support, and of the many contributions they make to the diversity and excellence of Oxford’s post-graduate population.”

News Shorts New dean of Saïd business school named Professor Soumitra Dutta has been announced as the new dean of the Saïd business school. Dutta is currently Professor of Management at Cornell University in New York.

Magdalen’s white buck dies College President Dinah Rose announced the death of the college’s “beloved white buck,” following a short illness. Rose shared “he had a long and happy life in the deer park.”

New portraits in Pembroke Pembroke has announced that a new selection of photographic portraits celebrating noteworthy Pembrokians, including Pete Buttigieg, has been hung in the College Dining Hall.

NEWS

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SU demonstrates against Nationality and Borders Bill Maggie Wilcox reports on the Student Union led protest outside the Clarendon Building The Oxford SU organised a protest against the proposed Nationality and Borders Bill this past Sunday.

The group gathered around the steps of the Clarendon building that afternoon.

Student groups attending the protest included SolidariTee, Oxford Climate Justice Campaign, Oxford University Labour Club, the SU’s Campaign for Racial Equality and Awareness and the SU’s Class Act. They were joined by wider organisations and trade unions including UNITE, UNISON, Reading Trade Union Council, Oxford Anti-fascists, Oxford Marxists, Antihomophobe Action and Amnesty International, as well as Imogen Thomas, Labour councillor for Holywell Ward. There were around sixty protestors in attendance, with many passers-by stopping to listen as well.

Some groups came to the protest with broader aims than just the bill in question, calling for a united, working class response to all of the current government’s potentially harmful policies, but the core grievance remained the immigration bill in question. According to the SU’s website, this act, if passed, could endanger asylum seekers, revoke British citizenship without notifying the affected parties and, through the creation of a temporary protection status, “restrict the refugee students’ access to higher education”.

Anvee Bhutani, President of the SU, highlights this last consequence as one of the catalysts for starting the demonstration.

She underscores that education is key to integrating and advancing in society and students’ rights are often overlooked.

Multiple speakers shared their personal experiences moving to the country or as children of immigrants. One student who had become a naturalised British citizen said that he has always been wary of his status in the UK, but now genuinely fears that his citizenship may be revoked.

There was a heavy focus on hearing from such students and emphasising that countless more cannot speak in public out of fear of this very bill.

Even so, Kemi Agunbiade, VP Women, insists that “it shouldn’t have to be about us for us to care”. Students and groups with no immediate connection to immigration and refugee rights insisted on the negative outcomes of this bill and how it affects society at large.

Philip Hutchinson, a member of the Oxford Climate Justice Campaign, spoke of a future era of impending mass migration due to climate catastrophe and stressed the United Kingdom’s obligation to keep its borders

open during this time of need for refugees.

He urged students to resist the bill, which contradicts both international law and the 1951 Refugee Convention, and to “not let the government tarnish the reputation of our nation”.

The Nationality and Borders Bill is at a late stage in the legislative process, and there were mixed emotions present at the demonstration. Some believed it to be a done deal, with little resistance possible besides disregarding the law once in place and future action against the Tory government.

Others, especially the SU organisers, kept up a general display of optimism, urging everyone to “keep fighting” and reiterating their support for immigrants, refugees and all people of colour in Britain.

Moving forward, the SU encourages students with concerns about the bill to come forward in order to allow the organisation to better represent their issues. In the meantime, they have compiled a list of online resources that will be available on their website, including letter-writing templates to send to their representatives in the House of Lords.

Image Credit: Meghana Geetha

Despite progress with vaccinations, the highly contagious Omicron variant has caused cases to surge. Along with other UK approved drugs such as Merck’s Molnupiravir, Pfizer’s oral treatment, Paxlovid, could be a useful tool for doctors to treat patients. This antiviral was highly successful in clinical trials: compared with a placebo, it reduced the risk of hospitalization or death from COVID-19 by 88% if given within 5 days of the onset of symptoms. But how does it actually work?

Viruses are famous for having incredibly compact genomes. This allows them to replicate quickly and squeeze into a tiny capsid.

One technique they use to achieve this is to store most of their proteins inside one gene ‘reading frame’ with no space in between.

The product of this gene is like a long string of sausages, and it must be cut up into pieces by an enzyme called a protease.

...Mr Gardiner’s defence of continued Chinese involvement in Hinkley’s nuclear power station and his criticism of the government’s steps to ensure that it could prevent the sale of French firm EDF’s stake in the project to

prevent it falling under Chinese ownership have also come under renewed questioning.

The OULC told Cherwell: “OULC invited Mr Gardiner to speak before this investigation was made public by MI5. While we are concerned to learn of the large sums given to him by Christine Lee, we believe that it would not serve accountability in this case to simply disinvite him from our event. We hope that Mr Gardiner will still appear at the club, and we will be able to question him robustly about the nature of his relationship with China and Christine Lee.” “While we by no means excuse Mr Gardiner’s behaviour or exceptionally poor judgement, we also note that other large donors, such as Rosemary Saïd and Lubov Chernukhin have donated close to £2m each in the last 20 years to the Conservative Party, with lower scrutiny about the intentions behind their donations. We are continuing to monitor the situation and will review our decision if MI5’s investigation, which Mr Gardiner is co-operating with, turns up any new information.”

In response to Sir Ed Davey’s involvement in the controversy, a liberal spokesperson said “Ed is shocked by these revelations and the email from the Speaker of the House of Commons today was the first time he has been given cause to be concerned about a donation to his local party association received in 2013.”

“The Government must make it a national security priority to protect the UK’s democracy from threats and interference by foreign actors.

“This donation was reported properly and all rules and guidance was followed - as Ed expects is the case with donations made to colleagues across the House.”

On the web Issue with Oxford sewage alerts Christmas Day swimmers complain about late sewage alerts

Paxlovid: How an new oral drug against Covid-19 was designed Matthew Clark reports on new tool for fighting Covid.

Continued from page 1

Paxlovid is a ‘competitive inhibitor’ of this protease. It binds to enzyme incredibly strongly and blocks off the active site from cutting up the polyprotein. The Coronavirus can no longer express any proteins and will not be able to replicate.

On 13th March 2020, a Pfizer researcher in Massachusetts USA called Dafydd Owen was sent home from work. But he didn’t have time to sit around binging Netflix. “We were all sent home on that Friday, and the world was completely different,” he says.

Over the weekend, Owen and his team laid out a plan to resurrect an old and forgotten molecule and re-engineer it to be an oral drug against COVID-19.

In 2003, researchers at Pfizer had discovered an antiviral compound that blocked the SARS-2002 coronavirus protease. Owen was tasked with designing a molecule that could be taken orally and efficiently absorbed into the bloodstream – without changing it too much that it could no longer inhibit the protease.

A key alteration to the 2003 compound

was the formation of a hydrophobic ring that was strategically placed to cover up a super hydrophilic area. “Making rings is kind of boom or bust in medicinal chemistry.”

Owen says. “You either win big or you lose big.”

Another important change was the addition of fluorine atoms. This makes a molecule more ‘lipophilic’ and able to cross the cell membrane more quickly. This strategy has proven so successful that over 20% of pharmaceuticals are now fluorine based.

A phase 1 clinical trial on humans began in February 2021, a remarkably speedy outcome for a process that usually takes a decade.

“We need to show that antivirals still have real benefits for these people,” said Eddie Gray, chair of the UK government’s antivirals taskforce.

This data will be provided by an Oxford University study, called Panoramic, which is assessing the impact of antivirals on vulnerable but vaccinated people in the UK. The study is led by the University’s Primary Care Clinical Trials Unit.

Estelle Atkinson

Campaigners demand detail on sale of Oxford Vaccine Centre Campaigners press for information about potential government sale of £200m Oxford vaccine centre Humza Jilani

Leverhulme trust donates funds for new centre The University has received 10 million pounds to build a new nature recovery centre Pieter Garicano

Spinal condition side effect to AstraZenaca vaccine EU panel recommends adding spinal condition side effect to AstraZenaca vaccine Humza Jilani

NEWS

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EXCLUSIVE: Oxford Union’s Hilary Termcard Slavoj Žižek, Peter Thiel and Maisie Peters set to visit Oxford, Pieter Garicano and Charlie Hancock report.

Ahead of the official release, Cherwell can exclusively reveal the Oxford Union’s speaker and debate line-up for the coming term.

The Union is set to receive the likes of pop star Maisie Peters, controversial Marxist philosopher Slavoj Žižek, and the Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel, along with Edward Enniful, Editor in Chief of British Vogue.

Thiel, who will be visiting on the 23rd of February, co-founded Paypal and was an early investor in Facebook. With an estimated net worth of nearly $3 billion, he has invested in research into machine intelligence and combatting the effects of ageing. He has achieved notoriety as a political activist, donating large sums to politicians such as Donald Trump and Ted Cruz. A recent keynote speaker at the 2021 National Conservatism conference, he is close to figures such as Curtis Yarvin, an American blogger who has been described as “neoreactionary” and espouses the replacement of American democracy by monarchy or corporate governance.

Dame Sally Davies, the former UK Chief Medical Officer, will appear online on the 9th of February. She was appointed the UK Special Envoy on Antimicrobial Resistance in 2019, which was also the year she was appointed the first female Master of Trinity College, Cambridge.

The Union will also be hosting Amika George MBE, whom TIME listed as one of

the 25 most influential young people in the world. Aged 17, she started a campaign which successfully persuaded the UK government to provide free menstrual products in English schools from January 2020.

Whilst largely steering clear of politicians from the Anglosphere, this term’s other speakers are not apolitical. With the Saudi Ambassador to the United Kingdom and the EU Ambassador to the United States set to make an appearance, the Union looks likely to host contentious discussions. Stavros Lambrinidis’ visit comes soon after an essay by Boris Johnson arguing for the return of the Parthenon Marbles to Greece was found in an edition of the Oxford Union’s magazine Debate.

More broadly, the list of speakers seems set to appeal to many interests. Max Fosh (British Youtuber), Dr James Green (NASA chief scientist), Maisie Peters (Singersongwriter), Zak Brown (CEO of McLaren Racing) and Chamath Palihapitiya (billionaire financier) represent just a few of the many appearing in the chamber. The format will again be a mixture of In-Person and online events, with many of the international speakers appearing over Zoom.

Two speakers who will be appearing online are Professors Daniel Kahneman and Oliver Hart, who won Nobel Memorial Prizes in Economics in 2002 and 2016 respectively.

Kahneman wrote the best-selling popular science book Thinking Fast and Slow, and is known as a pioneer in behavioural economics.

Beyond speakers coming for individual events, the term will again feature weekly debates, special events and Union Socials.

Week six will see “This House Would Move Beyond Organised Religion”, featuring the Most Revd Dr Eamon Martin KBE, Archbishop of Armagh and primate of Ireland.

New scheme ‘twins’ Oxford colleges with city school Estelle Atkinson reports on a new scheme by the Oxford Hub which links Oxford colleges to local primary.

A new scheme led by Oxford Hub, a charity ‘working to build a more equal, resilient and connected Oxford,’ sees Oxford University colleges twinning with primary schools in the city.

Five colleges have announced their involvement in the scheme: St John’s, New, Somerville, Trinity, and Exeter. The five primary schools involved in the scheme are Rose Hill, Wood Farm, St Frideswide, St Christopher’s, and John Henry Newman, respectively.

The Colleges will give the participating primary schools access to their staff and facilities. In addition, there will be studentled activities, such as singing in their twin college’s chapel and having lunches in the college’s dining hall.

The colleges will be providing academic support to students, both through workshops with college tutors in addition to a one-toone program provided through Schools Plus, Oxford Hub’s free tutoring program.

Principal Royall, Somerville College principal and chair of Oxford University’s Conference of Colleges, guided the scheme.

She told the BBC: “This pilot has the potential to create real and lasting relationships between colleges and local schools, raising

aspirations, bringing the university and local community closer together and reducing educational inequality in our city.”

In an update from Somerville College, David Lewin, Head teacher of Wood Farm Primary School, commented “We’re delighted to be part of the new twinning project with Oxford University, and our staff are very excited about the possibilities it offers. We are passionate about our pupils having a strong sense of connection with the city they are growing up in, and all its history and treasures, and this project fits so well with our school values: Ambition, Beauty, and Connection. We’re looking forward to building a lasting and creative partnership with New College.”

Image credit: Image: Brigade Piron / CC BY-SA 3.0 4.0

The latter has made statements which have attracted controversy in the past, including a warning that any legislator who clearly and publicly supports abortion should not receive Communion as they are excommunicating themselves. Speaking in opposition to the motion he will be facing Imam Monawar Hussein, incoming High Sheriff of Oxford, Rabbi Dr Jonathan Romain MBE and Professor Linda Woodhead MB. Other debate highlights include “This House Welcomes The New Era of Porn” featuring Love Island star Megan Barton-Hanson, and “This House Would Abolish Prisons” featuring US Court of Appeals Judge Thomas Griffith in weeks four and six respectively.

The first special event will be held in week two; end of January will see a panel on Holocaust Memorials, reevaluating how we commemorate genocide amongst

new generations and a world rife with antisemitism. Other Special events include ´Women in Climate Tech´ and ‘Gown Over Tails: Women Who Shaped Union’.

On the social side, the Union will hold a culturally diverse set of events, including a Lunar New Year social and Holi Social. A few other lighthearted socials include Film night, Jazz night and the Street Food Festival and identity-specific events such as a “Women’s and Non-Binary Debate Night’ in celebration of International Womens Day and a LGBTQIA+ Debate night.

Molly Mantle, President of the Oxford Union, told Cherwell: “I am incredibly proud of the Term Card my committee and I have put together and I can’t wait for the next 8 weeks.”

Image Credit: Rich Viola/CC BY-SA 4.0

Highly-prized Austen collection donated to the Bodleian Isaac Ettinghausen reports on the Bodleian’s acquisition of valuable Austen manuscripts.

A highly-prized collection of manuscripts including some written by Jane Austen has been donated to the Bodleian Library and Jane Austen’s House following a UK-wide campaign to purchase it.

The Honresfield Library includes valuable first editions of Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Northanger Abbey, and Persuasion. Friends of the National Library, a literary charity which aims to preserve “the nation’s written and printed heritage” led the campaign to purchase the collection in partnership with a group of research libraries and authors’ estates.

The collection includes two significant personal letters written to Austen’s sister Cassandra which “offer fascinating glimpses into Austen’s personal and creative life.” In the first letter, she tells Cassandra that she will “flirt her last” with a young Irish lawyer on holiday in Hampshire for Christmas. The second, written almost 20 years later, details her pride at the reception of Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility.

It also includes manuscripts by the Brontës, Rabbie Burns, and Sir Walter Scott. Richard Ovenden, the head of the Bodleian Libraries said: “I am delighted to have been able to play

a role in such an important literary acquisition - one that will secure literary treasures by some of the greatest writers from these islands for future generations.”

He continued: “We offer huge thanks to Friends of the National Libraries for the donation. Jane Austen is a literary marvel, beloved by her devoted readers all over the world and we are honoured to have prized items of such a unique, personal nature, to add to our wonderful Austen holdings at the Bodleian Libraries.”

The consortium, which included the Bodleian and Jane Austen’s house, ran a public campaign to generate funding to preserve the collection from being scattered through private auction sales. It raised over £15m, with donors including Sir Leonard Blavatnik, who contributed £7.5m. This figure constitued half of the collection’s purchase price. The collection will be known as the Blavatnik Honresfield Library.

Other donations included £4m from the National Heritage Memorial Fund. This represents the largest sum the Fund has contributed towards an acquisition of literary manuscripts since its foundation in 1980.

The TS Eliot Foundation and the British Libraries Collections Trust also contributed.

The director of Jane Austen’s House Lizzie Dunford said: “It has been a privilege for Jane Austen’s House to be a part of this truly ground-breaking campaign, spearheaded by inspirational individuals, to save these extraordinary literary treasures for the nation.”

NEWS

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Oxford research finds sharp drop in children’s hospital admissions over pandemic

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Charlotte Keys reports on the new research from Oxford University.

Research conducted at Oxford University has revealed that as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic there has been a dramatic reduction in hospital admissions for children.

The study, published in the BMJ, analysed NHS hospital admissions in England for children aged 0-14 for 19 common and severe childhood infections between 1st March 2017 and 30th June 2021.

Common respiratory infections included tonsillitis and the flu, whilst the more severe infections included sepsis and meningitis. The study also looked at the effect on vaccine preventable diseases including measles, mumps and several other bacterial infections. This is of particular interest after childhood immunisation programmes were disrupted by Covid-19.

In spring 2020 in the WHO European region, 22% of infants had their vaccination courses interrupted.

Researchers found that “after 1st March 2020, substantial and sustained reductions in hospital admissions were found for all but one of the 19 infective conditions studied”. The exception was kidney infections, which did not fall.

On the other hand, meningitis admissions fell by nearly 50%, from an average of 3,917 annual cases before the pandemic to 1,964 in 2020/21.

The greatest percentage reduction was found for influenza, which decreased by 94%, from 5,379 admissions to 304 in the twelve months after 1st March 2020.

Similarly, for bronchiolitis, admissions decreased by over 80% from an average of 51,655 to 9,423 in 2020/21.

These reductions were similar across “all geographical regions, deprivation and ethnic groups, as well as among children

with existing conditions who are at greatest risk of severe illness and death from infection.”

Researchers also discovered that the number of deaths recorded within 60 days of hospital admissions for sepsis, meningitis, bronchiolitis, pneumonia, viral wheeze and upper respiratory tract infections also decreased. However, researchers highlight that the proportion of children admitted for pneumonia who died within 60 days increased.

As an observational study, its authors were unable to highlight a cause, but researchers have concluded that a range of human behavioural changes, non-drug interventions, and governmental societal restrictions have not only reduced the transmission of Covid-19 but also for many other childhood infections.

This highlights one of the positive sideeffects of lockdown policies such as social distancing and school closures.

However, whilst school closures might have contributed to some of the reductions seen in the study, it is not possible to disentangle the evidence from standard physical distancing. Travel restrictions may have also contributed to this decrease with its associated reduced air pollution.

Whilst such measures are unsustainable in life after the pandemic, researchers are encouraged by this decrease in childhood illness and call for a further evaluation of how this reduction in childhood infections can be sustained.

They also acknowledge that “there will probably be an increase in the incidence of primarily, but not exclusively, viral infections” after measures to prevent the spread of Covid-19 are lifted.

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New Sarup building at Balliol Hope Philpott reports on the new Master’s Field building project.

Balliol College has named a new building in its Master’s Field annex after Dr Lakshman Sarup (1894–1946), the first student at Oxford to submit for a Doctor of Philosophy (DPhil) degree.

Sarup was awarded the degree by Balliol in 1919 on the topic of Yaska’s Nirukta, the oldest Sanskrit treatise on etymology.

Oxford began offering the DPhil degree in 1917, taking inspiration from research degrees in Germany, and Dr Sarup was one of two students to enrol for a doctoral degree in its inaugural year, the other being New Zealander James Gatenby.

Originally from Lahore, India, Sarup began his studies in his hometown, receiving an MA in Sanskrit from Lahore’s Oriental College. He travelled to Oxford on an Indian state scholarship in 1916, not leaving until 1919 when he completed his thesis.

The thesis itself examined the contribution of ancient India and ancient Greece to modern linguistics, establishing that the Nirukta was written between 700 and 500BCE and is still crucial to our understanding of modern linguistics. Arthur Macdonell, one of the foremost scholars of his day, as well as Boden Professor of Sanskrit and a fellow of Balliol, supervised Sarup’s thesis.

With the conclusion of his Oxford studies Dr Sarup’s trailblazing career continued. He travelled Europe for research after the end of the First World War, spending time in both Paris and Strasbourg. Sarup’s interests varied, and as well as his work on Sanskrit, he also translated two of Molière’s plays into Hindi. For this, he was recognised by the Académie Française, the first Indian to receive that honour.

In 1920, he was appointed Professor of Sanskrit Literature at Punjab University

and later, in 1942, was appointed Principal of the Oriental College of the University of Punjab. He was the first Indian to hold that position and retained it until his death in 1946.

As well as being a keen scholar, he was an accomplished sportsman, earning a Blue for captaining the University cricket team during his time at Balliol.

The building, block C1 of the Master’s Fields annex on St Cross Road, is one of a number of new buildings named after Balliol ‘greats’. All of the newest buildings have been named after alumni and academics who reflect the “diversity, values and history” of the college.

Other figures include: Lord Bingham of Cornwall, former lord chief justice; Baruch Blumberg, master of Balliol 1989–1994 and Nobel Prize for Medicine winner; Dame Frances Kirwan, fellow in Mathematics, who was the first woman to be appointed Savilian Professor of Geometry; Dr Carol Clark, the first woman to be appointed a fellow of Balliol, and the first woman to be a fellow of any of the formerly all-male Oxford colleges; Aldous Huxley, the writer of Brave New World, and Sir Sereste Khama, the first president of the Republic of Botswana and a crucial player in Botswana’s independence from imperial rule.

The names of the new buildings were announced at an event at Balliol on 8 December.

Image Credit: Vignesh Iyer

COMMENT

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Pope Francis’ comments on parenthood are nothing new for childfree women Iseult De Mallet Burgess discusses the hypocritical pressures targeting childfree women.

CW: sexism, misogyny

P

eople who choose not to have children are selfish, according to Pope Francis – who must be something of an expert on the subject, having chosen not to have children himself.

“Today…we see a form of selfishness,” the Pope told a general audience at the Vatican last week. “We see that some people do not want to have a child.” He specifically chastised couples who have pets but no children, something he claims “diminishes us,” and “takes away our humanity.”

This isn’t the first time the Pope has scolded people who don’t have children. In 2014, the pontiff warned that “selfish” childfree people would eventually succumb to the “bitterness of loneliness.”

Yet this rhetoric is nothing new for childfree people – childfree women in particular, for whom normative gender roles create inextricable links between womanhood and motherhood.

Gender is not innate, but a culturally constructed class system in which the class of woman is fundamentally juxtaposed against and subjugated by the class of man. Central to this class system are conceptualisations of normative femininity, which are unquestionably bound to motherhood.

Women’s corporeal tie to children generates an unequal and gendered division of

labour and the “naturalization” of caregiving roles for women within the domestic sphere.

Queer theorists also suggest that the social and political function of children is to regulate women’s sexuality within a social order that mandates heteronormativity and procreation.

A 2018 study documented the negative perceptions and prejudice that childfree women face: they are overwhelmingly seen as “selfish,” “dissatisfied,” and cold.

Childfree women have also elicited social reactions of “disgust” and “moral outrage.”

The study cites research indicating that women without children face discriminatory outcomes in occupational and medical settings.

It’s common for physicians, for example, to deny a patient surgery on the assumption that

“This isn’t the first time the Pope has scolded people who don’t have children.” a woman will change her mind about wanting children.

We don’t have to look far to see these negative perceptions in action: former Australian prime minister Julia Gillard immediately comes to mind. Gillard endured years of sexism and misogyny for being a childfree woman in power. In 2007, former conservative senator Bill Heffernan described Gillard as unqualified for leadership because she was “deliberately barren.” In 2010, politician George Brandis maintained that Gillard was a “one dimensional” person who, because she had chosen not to have children, couldn’t

possibly understand former PM Tony Abbott’s controversial argument that a woman’s virginity is a gift to give to her husband. Former Labor leader Mark Latham claimed that Gillard was “wooden” and lacked empathy because she had chosen not to have children.

Like Gillard, most childfree women are constantly expected to justify and explain themselves: to divulge their personal medical histories, to describe how the current economic climate is not conducive to child-rearing, to explain that childfree people tend to be happier than parents, to maintain that they’re not willing to become another maternal mor-

Heidi Fang on a cold January...

tality statistic, to detail the gendered division of labour – when not wanting children should itself be reason enough for not having them.

So perhaps, instead of scolding childfree couples, the Pope’s efforts would be better directed towards doing more for the secret children of not-so-celibate priests. Or towards re-examining the church’s own decidedly anti-family celibacy policies. Or towards having children of his own.

Image Credit: Catholic Church England and Wales/ CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 via flickr

COMMENT

7

A first date with anarchy?

Ezra Sharpe questions the government’s increasingly meaningless claim to social authority in the pandemic.

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f there ever was someone to understand the ins and outs of parliamentary figures, the man who pantomimically bellowed “Order!” across the House of Commons for over a decade would certainly be a strong candidate. Recently, John Bercow appeared on Good Morning Britain to acrimoniously denounce Boris Johnson as “the worst” prime minister he had seen during his political lifetime.

Boris Johnson and controversy have hardly been distant cousins. He has been personally accused of racism, condemned for Islamophobia, mired in a toxic mix of affairs and adultery, elicited dubious government contracts on the back of a pandemic, and sheltered for far too long a health minister famous for all the wrong reasons. The irony became clear when I recently asked my friend “Did you hear of the latest Tory scandal?” to which they responded, “which one?”. In recent months, the satin black walls of 10 Downing Street have been more akin to a celebrity Big Brother house than a political citadel. It might be fair to say that, under Johnson’s tenure, the Tory party’s vices seem to be strongly outweighing their virtues.

It seems as if the doomsday clock is close to striking twelve for the conservative party.

And the recent revelation of 10 Downing Street’s festive function may just be the final nail in the coffin. Bercow described this transgression as one symptomatic of Boris Johnson’s disposition as a man who “stinks in the nostrils of decent people.”

Whilst countless people across the nation were forced to give the cold shoulder to their close family and friends, wind down the tinsel, and watch the New Year’s Eve fireworks from the cold comfort of their own homes, the cabinet rolled out the mulled wine and turkey to throw a boozy bonanza before the Queen’s speech. The nation retreated into the domestic sphere and fell silent; the government rejoiced in the streets whilst they were hollow and empty.

To many opposition voters and – it must be stressed – perhaps even more so conservative voters, the betrayal is palpable. Many of the government’s previous misdemeanours

“The government rejoiced in the streets whilst they were hollow and empty.” were reprimandable, no doubt, but seemed abstract, untouchable, and distant. Matt Hancock’s front-page flirtations induced more entertainment than outrage for many.

The headlines became commonplace – banal, even. But what happened at 10 Downing Street was far more sinister than the Grinch cancelling Christmas: it was a sharpened spear thrown directly into the heart of the British psyche. Many voters - Labour, Conservative, and others alike - have pitched forward to express their indignance. Mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters had to miss their relatives’ last words in hospital beds. Others were deprived of their senses,

only able to speak to their relatives through the pixels of an iPad screen, unable to hug, smell, or listen to their loved ones for the last time.

A profusion of political consequences now lies in wait for the government. With the Omicron variant now spreading through populations like a hot knife through butter the government has moved the national COVID alert level to Tier Four. Despite the dully repeated phrase “learning to live with COVID”, it is clear that the government is likely to rekindle used strategies of prevention, or enforce

“Recent governance has somewhat resembled a game of Russian Roulette.” new ones. Masks are being re-mandated, and a fresh batch of vaccines are ready to be administered for a new booster programme.

However, as all things in life ebb and flow with time, so does the resolve of the public to adhere to government restrictions. The first national lockdown was draconian; citizens were scared to leave their homes for a small walk in the park. Borders between family members, friends, strangers, regions, and nations became welded with iron. Fast forward in time to the third lockdown, and we see mass anti-lockdown protests, and a waning enthusiasm to remain living in fear of the virus.

So, what will the public say if new measures are introduced? Will we listen, docile and obedient, to the advice relayed to us through our television screens in the knowledge that the government so bitterly betrayed us last time round? Will young people refrain from clinking their beer-swelled glasses at the pub? Will the Sunday shoppers take to their laptops instead of the highstreets?

Where will the elderly go to play bowls and bingo? Will anarchy break loose? And, most importantly, will the government manage to abide by the rules which they themselves put into motion? Perhaps it is rather trite, but Starmer’s proclamation of “one rule for us, another for them” has never bore such heavy truth. Boris Johnson’s grip on sovereignty seems to be rapidly loosening.

The goalposts set by our government have been subtly shifting in plain sight for quite some time now. A shifting political baseline syndrome has infected our nation and become the norm. We now judge the present actions and behaviours of our government with respect to the recent past. What was previously unacceptable in the political

realm thus begins to creep into acceptability.

This time, however, the general public have taken notice. The irony has become clear, and the iron-fist of government-imposed law now seems to be limp and flaccid. Jacob Rees-Mogg’s comments that “this party is not going to be investigated by the police in a year’s time” clearly demonstrate a hubristic lack of prescience; it’s no skin off their nose.

Recent governance has somewhat resembled a game of Russian Roulette. This time, the gamble may not have paid off, and the cabinet might have finally shot themselves fatally in the foot. It seems rather appropri-

ate to rehash one of David Cameron’s old comments; the public has now realised “you don’t need it to be Christmas to know when you are sitting next to a turkey”.

One theme which seems to have permeated through Tory drama in the last few months is that of flirtation. Affairs, accusations, adultery, and so on. Johnson and his Cabinet have long been flirting with the possibility of anarchy; perhaps, then, the time for a first date has arrived.

Image Credit: UK Parliament/CC BY-NC 2.0 via f lickr

Should collections be scrapped?

Isobel Lewis I didn’t have any collections at the start of this term and it’s made me think that maybe we need them to jolt us out of the post-vacation, and especially post-Christmas, lethargy.

They certainly throw us into the new term while giving some finality to the last. Don’t get me wrong, I hate sitting collections, but having 0th week essay deadlines set in advance instead of exams have made Michaelmas and Hilary start to blend into one.

Zoe Lambert Collections definitely should be scrapped. Exams in 0th week are just another way Oxford forces its students to prioritise work over mental health; making us begin an already too intense eight-week term exhausted, stressed out and behind with week one work. Yes, we all need exam practice but can’t this be done at the end of term? And as a motivator to work throughout the vac? Well, with such full-on terms, the last thing we need is more guilt and panic-induced work for an exam which we won’t get back until 5th or even 6th week.

Sonya Ribner It’s fair to say that no one likes sitting collections, but I do find that the process of studying for them helps me consolidate my ideas on the topic. Additionally, it’s been a long time since many of us have taken collections in person, and given that many final exams will be in person, I think the practice is beneficial to the overall study process.

Vlad Popescu Students don’t take collections seriously. Tutors don’t take collections seriously. The one time collections impacted my degree was not by design - Corona meant my cohort did not sit prelims so we were “graded” on our first year performance via collections. Hardly reassuring, it showed the meaningless of Collections on the level of Oxford culture.

Collections should be scrapped.

SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

8

Science Snippets

Humanness in AI: The turing test and a technology based on deception machine. In other words, Turing believed that girl to touch a live plug with a penny. The Jennivine Chen discusses the ethical issues related to modern day AI chatbot technologies.

Astronomersidentified new potential exomoon.

The candidate exomoon dubbed Kepler 1708 b i orbits a Jupiter-sized exoplanet, circling a sunlike star about 5,700 light-years from Earth.

Quantum Mechanics questions the fundamental nature of reality.

New research shows that the Aharonov-Bohm effect means quantum mechanical particles can feel the influence of gravitational fields they never touch.

Tech Tidbits

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CW: Antisemitism or a long time in the 20th century, the possibility of a ‘computational machine’ being sentient, or in effect human, remained only as a distant philosophical hypothesis. Nevertheless, these philosophical discussions apply now more than ever - at a time where increasingly integrated technology is blurring the line between reality and the virtual world.

From the conception of a ‘computational machine’ in Alan Turing’s 1936 paper, the idea of human-like computing became central to the field of Artificial Intelligence. In 1950, Alan Turing proposed the following ‘imitation game’ - now commonly known as the Turing Test - to explore what is the essence of being human. The game is played by three agents - two contestants A and B, one being a human and the other a machine, and a human interrogator C. Without the interrogator seeing the contestants, C may ask any question to A and B, which they will respond via typewritten communication, in order for C to distinguish between the man and the machine. The interrogator is allowed to put questions to the person and the machine of the following kind: “Will A and B please tell me what they think of this Shakespearean sonnet?”, or “What is the result of 29345 times 5387?”. The objective of the machine is to try to cause the interrogator to mistakenly conclude that it is the human, and the objective of the person is to assist the interrogator to identify the machine.

In his paper, the ‘imitation game’ was presented as a sufficient condition for the confirmation of genuine intelligence in the

if the machine were able to answer any such enquiries to a satisfactory degree as to fool the investigator, then we should admit that the machine has achieved genuine intelligence. In addition, he noted that machine-intelligence may work in ways vastly different to our own, so the Turing Test should not be treated as a necessary condition for machine intelligence.

Since then, the development in chatbot technology illustrated issues and ‘loopholes’ with Turing’s formulation of machine intelligence.

As early as 1966, one of the earliest natural language processing programmes, ELIZA, appeared to have displayed characteristics that were enough to pass the Turing Test, but upon closer inspection, the proclaimed chatbot therapist is no more than an act of trickery using techniques such as pattern matching and brute force regurgitation.

So perhaps chatbot AI isn’t quite the genuine machine intelligence Turing had in mind, but no doubt passing the Turing Test is still an important first step towards achieving true machine intelligence. As such, we ought to be more than careful to resolve the ethical dilemmas building towards machine intelligence at every step of the way. Without genuine semantic understanding of the language output, AI ethics is particularly difficult to navigate when it comes to chatbot technology.

In 2016, Microsoft launched its own chatbot, affectionately nicknamed ‘Tay’. Tay was a twitter bot that was supposed to interact with users on Twitter and learn from those interactions. From Tay’s initial friendly and positive debut on twitter, internet trolls quickly spotted a way of exploitation. To manipulate her algorithm, trolls started attacking the chatbot with languages filled with misogyny, racism, and other hateful content to see if she would imitate them. She did. Within 24 hours, Tay descended from posting tweets such as “humans are super cool” to generating antisemitic hate speech.

More recently, Alexa, Amazon’s voice assistance, made headlines after it told a 10-year-old

suggestion came after the girl asked Alexa for “a challenge to do”, and in this instance, the dangerous challenge was one that began circulating on TikTok and other social media platforms about a year ago.

While these occasions of ethical violations were resolved by their respective tech companies as soon as the issues were found, other subtle nuances in AI design can also have a huge impact on ethical considerations. Intelligent or not, the convenient assistance service brought to us by chatbots cannot be denied. Recent research by the University of Florida revealed that whether it is a well-implemented AI or a real person, high scores of ‘perceived humanness’ when interacting with virtual assistants on online retail platforms led to greater consumer trust in the company.

However, this brings into question the ethicality of a technology based on deception. Google’s voice assistant, Duplex, sparked controversy in 2018 when it fooled many shop-owners after successfully booking restaurant reservations and hair salon appointments in a distinctively human-sounding voice. The technology itself may be harmless enough, and the audience live at the tech launch sure felt ‘in on the joke’, but, equally, the voice assistant could have achieved the same goals during launch through some other more honest and transparent ways. If the Google developers tested the hypothesis ‘is this technology better than preceding versions or just as good as a human caller’ instead, they would not have had to deceive people in the experiment.

As technologies continue to evolve and develop, possibly there will come a day when genuine machine intelligence as Turing had envisioned will be achieved. But ultimately, despite the theatrical value of chatbots passing the Turing Test, I believe the most important criteria for any technological advancements should be based on improved performance and better user experience, rather than its ability to deceive.

Pig transplants: The science behind the dilemma Jennivine Chen explores the science behind the pig-to-human heart transplant operation.

D Elon Musk to accept Dogecoin for Tesla goods. The value of Dogecoin rose by 15% after the billionaire’s tweet came out saying that some Tesla merch will be payable with Dogecoin.

JPMorgan to massively increase technology spending in 2022.

JPMorgan Chase set out its plans to increase investment spending in by $3.5bn this year, with technology spending hitting $12bn in 2022.

Image Credits (top to bottom): Max Pixel / CC Public Domain Certification via Max Pixel, geralt / CC Public Domain Certification via Pixabay, Ashutosh / CC via PixaHive,

avid Bennett is perhaps a name you’ve heard quite frequently in the last week or so. On the 7th of January 2022, he became the first man in the world to successfully receive a transplant of a pig’s heart. The eight-hour-long operation took place at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore, USA, and the success was viewed by some as the beacon of light for the future of organ transplant surgery.

Though the surgical breakthrough was the first-of-its-kind, xenotransplantation, the goal of transplanting animal organs into people, has been pursued by scientists and doctors alike since more than 60 years ago. It was the summer of 1940, when Peter Medawar and his wife, Jean, and eldest daughter, Caroline’s peaceful Sunday afternoon was broken by a plane crashing violently just 200m away in a garden. Although the pilot survived the crash, he suffered horrific burns.

A zoologist by training, the Oxford researcher Medawar was conducting studies on which antibiotics were best at treating burns.

For the pilot who just crashed, doctors soon came to Medawar for help on deciding what medications to use. During a time where the war left many airmen in agony with much of their skin incinerated, while medical advances such as blood transfusions and antibiotics were able to prolong their lives, there was no way of actually treating these burns. And when the doctors transplanted healthy skin from one person to another to cover the burnwound, it was all destroyed soon after.

At the time, the doctors believed it to be

merely a matter of skill that the skins were destroyed - the cutting and sewing were yet to be perfected, but Medawar saw something more. Through tireless experimentation with 25 rabbits, he grafted pieces of skin from each one onto every other one. 625 operations on 25 rabbits later, he showed that skin could not be grafted between different rabbits. More interestingly, during the second round of grafting, it turned out that the rejection happened even faster than during the first transplant, indicative of an immune reaction. Fundamentally, Medawar and his team showed that transplantation can be successful as long as the immune reactions can be stopped.

Fast forward to a few decades later, in the 1960s, chimpanzee kidneys were transplanted into some human patients, but the longest a recipient lived was nine months. Then in 1983, a baboon heart was transplanted into an infant named Baby Fae, who died 20 days later.

In order to increase the chance of a successful transplantation, scientists looked to gene editing and cloning technologies to genetically alter the organs so that it’s less likely to be rejected by the patient. Specifically, pigs are often chosen over other primates for organ procurement because they are easier to raise and their organs are able to reach adult human size in just around six months.

Before the pig’s heart was transplanted into David Bennett, Revivicor, a regenerative medicine company that provided the pig’s heart for surgery, made ten genetic modifications to the organ. Firstly, three genes were knocked out or inactivated, including one

gene that encodes a molecule which would cause an aggressive human rejection response.

Then, the growth gene was inactivated to stop the pig’s heart from growing further in size after it was implanted. Finally, six tweaks were made to the pig’s heart as additions of human genes: two anti-inflammatory genes, two genes that promote normal blood coagulation and prevent blood vessel damage, and two other regulatory proteins that help tamp down antibody response, says the Science magazine.

Despite the initial challenges, scientists are hoping that its success will enable them to give more people animal organs. However, if Bennett’s success were to be replicated, regulators and ethicists will need to define what makes a person eligible for a pig organ. For instance, most people waiting for kidney transplants can be put on dialysis, and organ harvesting from animals raises animal welfare concerns.

PETA, the non-for-profit organisation People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, warns of the mistreatment of animals as “warehouses of spare parts”, citing protocols documenting that baboons and macaques were caged alone, subjected to multiple major survival surgeries, numerous biopsies, and repeated blood draws in clinical trials for organ transplantation.

In these days of the pandemic, all of us are only too aware of the very real danger of transmitting unknown viruses during such a procedure, as pigs often carry zoonotic and other infectious pathogens that could be introduced to the human patient.

BUSINESS & FINANCE

9

Oxford Foundry Launches partnership with FMDQ Private Markets Khusrau Islam explores the partnership between FMDQ and the Oxford Foundry.

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ast year, the Oxford Foundry (OxFo) announced that they were partnering with FMDQ Private Markets Limited to accelerate Nigeria’s startup ecosystem. In December, they opened up applications for the OXFOFMDQ Young Entrepreneurs Leadership Programme programme, which is set to begin in April this year. The programme aims to upskill young, Nigerian, aspiring entrepreneurs through various training courses, networks, and resources. Further, it will connect the participants with Oxford and Nigeria investment communities, including high net-worth investors, also known as angel investors. The Innovate Nigeria accelerator programme will leverage Oxford networks and partnerships for five high-potential start-ups.

Nigeria is an explosive start-up environment. In 2011, it was identified by Citigroup as one of eleven countries who could grow global wealth through great growth potential and profitable investment opportunities. More recently, the World Bank gave it a “Starting a Business Score” of 86.2/100 - this is the highest in Sub-Saharan Africa, whose aggregate score was 80.1. Many successful startups have emerged recently from Nigeria, including Flutterwave, which is seeking to triple its valuation to $3 billion, and Paystack, which was acquired by Stripe for $200 million, the largest acquisition by the payments company globally.

FMDQ Private Markets is a subsidiary of FMDQ Holdings PLC. The parent organisation, Nigeria’s first fully vertically integrated financial market infrastructure group, offers companies and investors support and access to capital markets. They also operate the largest Securities Exchange in Nigeria, with an average annual turnover of $564 billion over the last seven years. The Private Markets group offers

these companies data and information services.

In the long-term, this partnership is expected to bolster the Nigerian startup scene, creating jobs and triggering further socioeconomic growth as the country’s business culture continues to expand. FMDQ Group said that they expected the partnership to “develop market s olutions in high-potential market solutions in high-potential sectors such as technology, agriculture, green industries, and healthcare”.

The current culture for Nigeria’s start-ups is extremely promising. Recently, Nigeria’s cabinet approved the Nigeria Startup Bill.

A glimpse at the Poonawalla family’s Oxford investment Hung-Jen Wu takes a look at the Poonawalla Family’s recent investments in Oxford’s biotechnology space.

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n 1966, a prize thoroughbred horse, owned by the Poonawalla family, was bitten by a venomous snake.

They sent the horse to the Haffkine Institute, a government funded biomedical laboratory to whom they normally donated their horses once they retired.

But due to the scarcity of antivenom, they needed government permission to administer it. It took nearly four days to receive permission but by then the horse succumbed to the venom.

Frustrated with India’s then-cumbersome bureaucracy, Cyrus Poonawalla, the family patriarch, decided to start developing serums from his own horses rather than donate them. With his son, Adar, he founded the Serum Institute of India (SII). Initially, they worked on serums to treat snake bites and tetanus.

Soon, however, the company branched out into vaccines.

SII’s current business model is to be a platform company that does not manufacture products of its own. In one

“Today, India is the world’s largest vaccine manufacturer and SII is its driving force.” direction, it works with pharmaceuticals to help them mass produce their formula, with economies of scale. In another direction it mass produces low-cost and high-efficacy vaccines whose patent protections have already expired.

Today, India is the world’s largest vaccine manufacturer and SII is its driving force. Even before the pandemic

the SII had already manufactured more vaccine doses than any other company in the world. As of 2021, SII produces generic versions of vaccines for measles, hepatitis, and tetanus along with other diseases. Approximately 1.5 billion doses annually (excluding COVID-19 vaccines) are exported to over 150 countries worldwide. It is estimated that two out of three children worldwide are vaccinated with SII’s shots.

In May 2020, SII took a gamble to mass produce the Oxford-AstraZeneca adenoviral vector vaccine in human embryonic kidney cells when there was still no clinical data available on its performance.

Seven months later, when countries began approving emergency use authorizations for this vaccine, now branded as COVISHIELD, SII had already millions of doses ready to ship. Although this codeveloped vaccine has been suspended for use in Europe due to reported side-effects of blood clot formation, the World Health Organization (WHO) still recommends its use, claiming that “benefits of the AstraZeneca vaccine outweigh the risks”.

SII currently manufactures COVISHIELD for distribution in low-income countries and India, where it accounts for roughly 90% of the inoculations. As of December 2021, SII has produced 1.3 billion doses of COVISHIELD. In May 2021 SII partnered with the university to produce the vaccine, R21/ Matrix-M, which was “the world’s second malaria vaccine candidate to enter a phase III licensure trial” in four SubSaharan countries following reports of 77% efficacy in a Phase II trial with no adverse events reported. SII is committed to producing more than 200 million doses per year after licensure, which is sufficient supply for inoculating at-risk children in the region.

In September 2021 SII purchased of

a 3.9% stake in Oxford Biomedica, a company specializing in developing gene-based therapies, for $68 million.

Oxford Biomedica was a supplier of viral vectors for the Oxford-AstraZeneca vaccine and is also a contract manufacturer

“The Serum Institute of India does for vaccines and biologics what Gutenberg’s printing press did for books.” of the recent WHO-approved Novavax COVID-19 vaccine candidate. This investment enables Oxford Biomedica to expand its current 45,000 sq ft of GMP manufacturing facilities at its Oxbox site by another 39,000 sq ft dedicated to producing COVID-19 vaccines.

Serum Life Sciences, in December last year, also pledged $66 million to fund the construction of the Poonawalla Vaccines Research Building for Oxford University’s Jenner Institute, which will house over 300 scientists. A university press release described this human capital investment as the “biggest ever single gift for vaccines research”.

The Serum Institute of India does for vaccines and biologics what Gutenberg’s printing press did for books. SII’s presence and credibility could also nurture an ecosystem of suppliers and partners to grow with it. We can expect its presence in Oxford to expand, especially given the many spinouts and researchers related to vaccine pipelines that can be its customers someday. Having access to this network could provide SII with a suite of vaccines for different diseases, as it sits ready to scale up for the medical challenges the world faces.

Currently, it is waiting to be passed into law by parliament.

The proposals in the bill are to “ease regulatory hurdles, offer tax incentives and make it easier for startups to raise capital”. This is expected to stimulate both foreign and local investments in these start-ups.

As the Nigerian start-up scene continues to expand, both due to the nature of the market and through the government’s investment, we should expect to see more and more exciting companies come out of the country. Through this partnership, OxFo and FMDQ are ready to help companies take advantage of the favourable business environment.

Quick Takes

“Amid disappointing share prices, one investor said of Unilever “a company which feels it has to define the purpose of Hellmann’s mayonnaise has in our view clearly lost the plot”.”- Terry Smith, CEO of Fundsmith

“Virgin Galactic plans to raise $425 million of convertible debt. To avoid dilution, they will need to pay an estimated $12.5 million in interest on this annually. But “judge Virgin Galactic by its ability to meet its own revenue and profitability targets, and it’s hard to make the case that will happen any time soon” - Jamie Powell, FT Alphaville

“While the UK economy should rebound once Plan B measures are lifted, surging inflation and persistent supply chain disruption may mean that the UK’s economic growth prospects remain under pressure for much of 2022” - Suren Thiru, Head of Economics, British Chambers of Commerce

EDITORIAL

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Masthead SENIOR EDITORIAL TEAM Jill Cushen (she/her), Charlie Hancock (she/her), Estelle Atkinson (she/her), Maurício Alencar (he/him), Thomas Coyle (he/him), Flora Dyson (she/her), David Tritsch (he/ him), Katie Kirkpatrick (she/ her) NEWS Meg Lintern, Pieter Garicano, Humza Jilani, Daniel Moloney, Isaac Ettinghausen COMMENT Sonya Ribner, Vlad Popescu, Zoe Lambert, Isobel Lewis FEATURES Leah Mitchell, Jessica DeMarco-Jacobson, Hope Philpott, Mia Hynes PROFILES William Foxton, Issy Kenney Herbert, Niamh Hardman, Klemens Okkels SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Jennivine Chen, Milo Mee BUSINESS & FINANCE Khusaru Islam, Hung Jen Wu CULTURE Clementine Scott, Jimmy Brewer, Anna Mayer STAGE Rebecca Walker, Dorothy Scarborough FASHION Ciara Beale, Madi Hopper, Iustina Roman MUSIC Flynn Hallman, Zachary Sutcliffe FILM Wang Sum Luk, Caitlin Wilson BOOKS Elena Buccisano, Eliza Browning LIFE Michaela Esau, Katerina Lygaki, THE SOURCE Anna Roberts, Shiraz Vapiwala, Thomas McGrath SPORT Edward Grayson, Oliver Hall FOOD Maisie Burgess, Rose Morley, Mille Drew PUZZLES Ifan Rogers CREATIVE Zoe Rhoades, Rachel Jung, Heidi Fang, Benjamin Beechener, Mia Clement

Jill Cushen (she/her), Editor-in-Chief CW: Murder Last week, on the banks of a canal, in an Irish town, minutes drive from my own, a 23-yearold woman was brutally murdered while out for a run at 4pm. Ashling Murphy’s murder has shocked a nation and triggered a collective reawakening about an old realisation: something needs to be done to stop violence against women.

I sat down to write this editorial after returning from a 9pm stress run. I’ve frightened myself by the irony of my now writing about a woman, not much different from myself, having gone on a run at a so-called “safer” hour, but who didn’t make it back.

Should I have been afraid? Should I have been more conscious of the potential ‘risks’ I take as a woman leaving the house, not just after dark, but as this tragedy has proven, at any hour?

It’s not a matter of protecting women. It’s about stopping it altogether. Easier said than done, but one thing I’m certain of is that conflict is not the solution. Being here, I’m detached from the outpouring of grief and anger but what has stood out to me is people’s anger with each other. I’ve seen nasty arguments on social media and my mum even told me that a conversation with a friend resulted in her being accused of “saying the wrong thing”. People are angry, but fighting over the minute details of the case and the ‘cor-

rect’ words to describe it isn’t the solution.

People have also called each other out on the methods used to spread awareness and speak out against this attack. The tagline “she was just going for a run” has accompanied countless social media posts and speaks to the understandable anger that women should be able to engage in a basic activity without fear. True as this is, there is an implication here that if she was doing something different, at a different time, in a different place, it would somehow be less brutal. It wouldn’t, but fighting with each other over this isn’t going to get us very far.

We can no longer refer to these brutal and merciless tragedies as isolated attacks of barbity. Protection is not the answer. Everyday violence normalised by misogyny has to end. This world will never be a 100% safe place to exist, but no one should feel like they are taking an enormous risk when they step beyond the threshold of their door, no matter what the hour or the reason. cabinet has recently been screaming that their coverage of ‘Partygate’ is somehow biased against the government. You aren’t supposed to agree with the news. That’s not what it’s there for. BBC News does make mistakes every now and again - as do all news outlets (news is hard work. I speak from experience!) - but the fact that it still manages to piss off both the left and the right makes me think it’s doing its job pretty well.

It’s not just Britain who will be suffer if the BBC has its wings clipped. BBC World Service is also funded by the license fee, and plays a crucial role in providing reliable, independent news coverage in countries with poor records of press freedom including Russia and Azerbaijan. Dorries and her ilk are underestimating how valued the BBC’s work is internationally, and its role in maintaining British soft power on the world stage. We’ll be culturally, politically, and spiritually poorer without it. And I’m not just saying that because I’d really like a job there!

Charlie Hancock (she/her), Editor-in-Chief One of the few things in British politics which is certain right now, apart from uncertainty itself, is that the Culture Secretary will throw rocks at the BBC. This time, the projectiles are being lobbed by the critically panned romance novellist turned Jungle resident Nadine Dorries, who gleefully proclaimed on Twitter that the license fee would be scrapped from 2028.

Dorries has since backtracked from this promise, saying that the license fee would instead be frozen at £159 for the next two years, which will amount to a real-terms reduction in funding. I’m not entirely convinced when Dorries says that this is to ease the pressure on the pockets of working families. There are better ways to do that - combatting the current cost of living crisis would be one. But her pattern of threatening the BBC’s funding and attacking it for its supposed bias make her motivation sound far more ideological.

But hitting-out at the BBC may actually backfire on the government, as this recent backtrack shows. It seems strange that a government who speaks so much about ‘promoting brand Britain’ seek to undermine the company who do that best. Netflix may produce The Crown, but as entertaining as it is, I’m not sure it portrays ‘brand Britain’ in the best possible light.

Where the BBC comes under fire perhaps most frequently their news coverage. Senior

Leader: Running out of time

Katie Kirkpatrick (she/her), Deputy Editor CW: Death, AIDS, cancer, terminal illness “Lately, I’ve been hearing this...sound. Everywhere I go. Like a...tick. Tick. Tick.”

Thus opens the recent Netflix film adaptation of tick, tick… BOOM!, the autobiographical musical by writer and composer Jonathan Larson. The show documents Larson’s life in New York in the early 1990s as he struggled to get his musical theatre writing produced.

Larson is now better known for RENT, the smash-hit show about a queer frienship group during the AIDS crisis. What primarily connects the two shows is their tragic real life context: Larson, so obsessed with running out of time that he wrote a whole musical about it, died of an undiagnosed aortic dissection the night before RENT opened Off-Broadway. His time really did run out, and he never got to see the success he had spent his life striving for: it’s a tragedy that’s been on my mind a lot lately.

The first song in tick, tick…BOOM!, ‘30/90’, deals with Larson’s panic about turning 30 and not having achieved as much as he would have liked, or as much as some of

his perceived peers and rivals. It’s a song that I found myself listening to on the morning of my twentieth birthday a week ago. Granted, twenty and thirty are very different ages, but lyrics like “Stop the clock, take time out” and “Feel like you’re treading water” rang true for me. Tick, tick…BOOM! is a show that’s meant a lot to me ever since I stumbled across it on YouTube a few years ago. I see a lot of myself in Larson - at least the fictionalised version of him presented in this musical and film.

Larson was a writer, a creative, a massive musical theatre nerd; an ambitious person, a stressed person, a chaotic person. But more than this, what makes tick, tick… BOOM! so important to me is its central idea of running out of time. Jonathan Larson had a deep-set

“I see a lot of myself in Larson - at least the fictionalised version of him presented in this musical and film.” panic that he only had so long to achieve his goals, to reach his markers of success.

I think I have a similar feeling: there’s a constant anxiety, always there, under the surface, that I need to be doing more, and quicker. I’m someone who has always been very good at convincing myself I’m terminally ill, and someone who grew up with a lot of cancer in my family. I find it hard to trust my body, to relax and believe that I have as much time as I’d like to do all the things I’d like to do. For these reasons, tick, tick…BOOM! Is both immensely reassuring, and completely the opposite. Larson’s tragic

death, confirming his worst fear, is something that’s difficult to conceptualise. At the same time, it’s comforting to see that these feelings are common, and the fact that RENT was met with such global success shows that all Larson’s years of hard work did in fact pay off… even if he wasn’t there to see it.

I imagine these feelings of pressure are something familiar to a lot of Oxford students: being surrounded by intensely ambitious people all the time, some of whom have achieved incredible things at a very young age, can make it very hard to put things in perspective. This is especially true in the arts, where music prodigies and child actors can make it feel like you’re behind before you’ve even really started. Of course, this time is often out of our control: in the arts so much is reliant on family connections and educational background, as well as other factors like race, sexuality, and gender. According to statistics published by the Sutton Trust in 2016, 67% of British winners of the Oscars for Best Actor, Actress or Director attended a private school. How do we best use the time we have when others already have such a head start?

The pandemic has only worsened my feelings of running out of time: I’ve gone from being 18 to turning 20, without the usual life experiences one would expect at such an important, tumultuous time. What it has gone some way to teach me, however, is that we are fundamentally not in control. Much like Jonathan Larson, we have no way of knowing how much time we have, or what might happen during it. It seems to me, then, that we may as well seek out what makes us feel most in our element - feel most alive - while we’re here.

CUL CHER

STRUCTURES

CULTURE

CULTURE

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CONTENTS CULTURE

12 | I’m a student... get me out of here 12 | A change of heart 13 | Hope Street: A tale of two MUSIC 14 | Pythagoras’ nightmare: Reincarnation, Coldplay and music of the spheres

the

FILM 15 | New year, new film: Cherwell recommends THE SOURCE 16 | Silent Spring by Fiona Zeka BOOKS 18 | A tour of foreign literature STAGE 19 | So you’ve heard of the Oscars, what about the Oliviers?

FASHION 20 | Plagued by the tracksuit: How Covid changed fashion fundamentally FOOD

I’m a student... get me out of here!

Flora Dyson offers her thoughts on the educational institution.

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t is a thought that fills me with me with apprehension. A feeling so confusing that even my stomach does not understand whether to activate a gruelling, sickening feeling or to launch forth a flock of intestinal butterflies. No – it is not the thought of giving a presentation for my tutor (which I should be writing now) that instils this sense of interminable dread. Rather, it is the thought of leaving the educational establishment which I have been a member of for so long. Many students have been part of structural education systems so long that we have become part of its foundations. Without a gap year, my peers and I were similarly forklifted from school to university where we transformed from forming part of faceless school buildings to Oxford’s hard, stone walls.

From infancy, we have been whisked into institutionalised education and channelled through curriculums often so dull I surprise myself that I made it to key-stage one million. With our creativity quashed, unless expressed in regimented (yet chaotic) primary school art lessons, and inde-

pendence extinguished we are the product of the establishment after up to 14 years of gradual moulding. E.M. Forster said “Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon”, an apt comment on educational rigmarole which advocates for standardised testing which evaluates students based on their academic ability in ignorance of their other assets.

Whilst this system may work for some, for others such academic structure is fundamentally flawed.

So, with such an unhappy account of the structures which form us, why am I still trapped in the four walls of my university bedroom, rather than training as a yoga instructor in Northern India? There can only be one reason: the structures I detest so much are in fact my lifeblood. Though these four walls bring academic rigour and a strong sense to conform they give us security, unity, a place of community. This is the crux of it – however much I complain, I rarely acknowledge the extreme privilege I have been granted even accessing such educational structures. It may be a case of Stockholm syndrome, having been

passed between institutions throughout our childhoods, but I believe it is the inner workings of establishments which make me love them dearly. My friends are in the room downstairs, rather than spread across vast swathes of cities. We can eat pre-made food whenever we please at a small fee, rather than trek to Tesco in a desperate attempt to renourish ourselves.

We can seek support from ready advisors whether that peers or the institution itself, rather than struggle in vain against the unknown alone.

Educational institutions have their flaws. They do not support everyone who seeks their help – demonstrated by student suicides and overwhelmed welfare services at British universities. It is imperative that institutions (looking at you, Oxford University) increase their capacity to support their students through high pressure environments. It seems structures are not marmite – I feel neither love nor hatred towards these institutions. Sentimental though it is, I do feel a peculiar sense of attachment to the routine and security they bring.

22 | British fare for every affair

COVER ARTIST Rachel Jung

I’m Rachel, a third-year Classics student at Merton. My friends can tell you how I’m always looking out for scraps of paper, magazines, leaflets etc, for making collages! I really like how tangible the act of collaging is, cutting up all the different pieces of paper and putting them back together again. I thought that this medium matched quite nicely with the theme of structure. I based this collage a bit on the idea of structuralism in art, and using a variety of shapes; I wanted to bring out the way that, in an Oxford term, structure is something we rely upon a lot but which can also easily be disrupted.

A change of heart Jimmy Brewer brings us Cherwell’s own architectural digest, and why he is learning to love the distasteful.

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.H. Auden concludes the final poem in his 1930 debut collection with instruction to “look shining at/New styles of architecture, a change of heart.” Architecture necessarily thrusts itself into the view of the general public; by choosing it as the art form to “look shining” upon, Auden bestows change in taste accessible to the general population, rather than to merely the rich or highly educated, with promise and hope. However, a change of heart must shift relative to an old perspective.

Indeed, Prince Charles, acting as spokesperson of the old perspective, commented after its completion in 1976 that architect Denis Lasdun’s concreteheavy, modernist design for the Royal National Theatre was “a clever way of building a nuclear power station in the middle of London without anyone objecting.” A building, in its inability to be hidden – as opposed to, say, the framed print of a nude painting that, when I was little, I embarrassedly made my parents take down when a friend came round – can evoke a strong gut-response repulsion.

Prince Charles, used to the neoclassical symmetry of Buckingham Palace, was clearly appalled by the austere National Theatre. One crucial tension in the design of a structure is between aesthetic integrity and the appeasement of a wider audience.

Happily, the same grandness of scale in

architecture that facilitates its impulsive censure also enables its reverent praise.

For example, last term I signed up, dutifully, to deliver copies of Cherwell, and was driven around by Timmy, Cherwell’s charismatic, 10-year-loyal delivery driver. Between anecdotes of farcically angry porters, the topic of conversation fell upon St Hilda’s College’s recently completed new buildings. Timmy, who had not been afraid to voice disparaging views of the colleges earlier, remarked how ‘in keeping’ he thought the buildings were with the college and wider city, whilst still looking beautiful and distinctive. I agree with him, though being a St Hilda’s student myself, I cannot claim impartiality. What is interesting is the unprompted praise that architecture can generate, an inversion of the gutresponse dislike.

It was this gut-response dislike, though, that made popular the photograph-based blog and subsequent book, Ugly Belgian Houses. Some of the homes that feature only narrowly miss looking stylish, having lost balance tip-toeing on the cutting edge and ending up notably hideous rather than refreshingly inventive; others are temples to poor taste. There are penny-farthing proportions, mismatched exteriors, and vulgar extensions aplenty.

Yet the blog’s creator, Hannes Coudenys, remarked on a shift in perspective he had while photographing more and more of these houses. What began as

exasperation at ludicrous design became admiration of his country’s propensity to experiment, even when it goes wrong: “It is better to be ugly than to be boring.”

With deviation from norms of style comes risk of ugliness. Being ugly is different from being bland, it is to be distinctive in repulsiveness. Perhaps, though, ugliness is too routinely vilified; to eliminate ugliness in art, the ‘failed’ experiments, is to eliminate experimentation. Auden is defending ugliness when he urges us to “look shining” at new styles of architecture – for new styles, good or bad, are evidence of a humanity leaning towards change, refusing stagnation. The “change of heart” is both the architect’s and the reader’s; the same realisation made by Coudenys, that life is better ugly than boring. Symbolically positioned at the end of his first book, the words point forward to a future forgiving of failure and afire with change.

To root for progress, we must also root for ugliness.

Image Credit: Flora Dyson

CULTURE

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Hope Street: A tale of two Cathedrals The Church of England hierarchy also possibly wanted a confident and prominent statement of Anglican belief in a city with Tom W. McGrath a significant Catholic population.

I think this is broadly what the design examines architectural of Giles Gilbert Scott, the Anglican cadifferences in two thedral’s youthful architect (who also designed LMH’s Deneke Building), won for of Liverpool’s famed them. When I visited, what struck me first was the sheer width of the Gothic arches, structures. which for their size and solemnity might estled either end of Hope Street as well have been propping up Tolkien’s lie two of Britain’s great places Mines of Moria. The cathedral’s distinctive of worship. These are the (Anglibrown stone blocks encased vast longican) Cathedral Church of Christ tudinal windows, which weaved bright in Liverpool, and the (Catholic) Metrocolours in intricate, wild, mosaic pictures. politan Cathedral of Christ the King – two A tour guide told me that each of the stone buildings as different as their names blocks on the cathedral’s interior had no are similar. The Anglican cathedral is a neighbour with the same dimensions. monumental fortress of red sandstone, its This, she said, was a celebration of God’s square tower rising over 100 metres. The love for individuals.

Catholic cathedral is a concrete, stone If I had one criticism it would be that and aluminium space-tent. The former the main body of the cathedral lacked participates in centuries of architectural intimacy. There was not much on the tradition, the latter is a break with tradihuman scale. But then I should probtion. a b l y have expected this of the longest The interesting thing is that, cathedral in the world. What it when first planned, the Cathlacked in cosiness it more than olic cathedral was meant to made up for in its scope and be an equally immense majesty, a valiant attempt “The former and traditional (if not at representing divine

by English standards) splendour. participates Byzantine design.

I confess that splenEdwin Lutyens’ plan, dour was not my first in centuries of on which building thought looking at the work began in 1933, architectural Catholic cathedral at would have featured the other end of the rich red brick, colourtradition, the street. Intrigue and ful mosaics, and the apprehension were largest dome of any latter is a break more like it. I was, cathedral in the world. though, surprised by the But financial constraints with tradition.” scale of the space-tent, as meant building work was it looked much larger than it abandoned, with only the crypt does in photos – it seemed like completed. a great, grey volcano had climbed out Had the Lutyens design been built in its of the earth and nestled itself amongst entirety, it would have made Hope Street houses and shops. unquestionably home to two of the grandI began climbing the cathedral’s many, est churches in the world. In the summer many steps. There was a feeling of ascendI decided to visit them both to try to dising to the house of God, leaving worldly cover whether something was really lost cares further behind with each step. The when this plan fell through, or whether colours in the stained glass of the cone Liverpool benefitted from a (divine?) at the cathedral’s apex changed as I blessing in disguise. wandered round, peering into the many For the Anglican Church in Liverpool, side-chapels, through greens and purples the early 20th Century was a rare chance and reds. My idea of a cold, grey concrete to build a new ‘statement’ cathedral. Only spaceship was banished. The place felt a handful of Anglican cathedrals had been calming, warm, and inviting. built in England since the Reformation, It certainly had an earthiness, and a and Liverpool, arguably the country’s spirit, about it. I think this was summed second city at the time, needed a grand up well by a sign near one of the chapels cathedral easily visible from the docks. featuring a quote from the late Catholic

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journalist Norman Cresswell: ‘This great Cathedral was built by the people of the Archdiocese of Liverpool…They did it, bless ‘em, by giving when they had so little to give […] they did it with old newspapers and wedding rings; with treasured heirlooms and bits of this and that. They did it. And today is their day.’

Having seen the cathedrals in person I read a Peter Hitchens opinion piece about them. In this he argued that, while the Anglican cathedral was a commendable example of Edwardian grit and ambition, the Metropolitan cathedral was the work of ‘men who thought we could dispense with the past’ and was ‘more suited to guitars and folk masses than to the solemnity of the old church’. He regretted the loss of the Lutyens design, ‘which would have been a worthy partner to its Anglican brother church’.

Many people are similarly unsure about the Metropolitan cathedral. Some have a distaste for modernist design in general, perhaps because they think it values ‘progressiveness’ for its own sake, overlooking considerations of beauty and architectural tradition. I agree that many mid-20th Century buildings were ill-thought-out attempts at progressive design (some might put Oxford’s own engineering building in this category, for instance). But I think justified distaste for these specific buildings needn’t entail a distaste for all buildings built in the modernist style, or which break from tradition.

Every old tradition was once a new practice, and without new ideas things become stale. The spirit of innovation embodied by the space-tent is exciting and praiseworthy, even if it has its extravagances. Its beauty and ambition are clear not only when you see it in the flesh, but also when you consider the building’s place in history. The cathedral was built at the same time as Vatican II, a Church council charged with working out how to help the Church connect with the modern world. The cathedral, whose circular floor plan allows the laity to form a unity with the priest and each other, rather than have each separate at each end of a great hall as in conventional churches, embodies this spirit of openness. The cathedral therefore stands as a majestic representative of a particular time and feeling in the history of the Church.

I also wonder what would be gained by having two very large, traditional cathedrals in proximity. Hitchens may conceive the Lutyens design as a ‘partner’ to the Anglican cathedral, but I suspect that they and their worshippers would have instead be- come engaged in a petty architectural tus- sle forevermore. That is not what religious buildings should be for.

Aside from pro- viding space for worship and activities, they are for raising the mind to God. I can’t think of anything about a competition over buildings that helps with that.

What the Catholic Church did in this case was completely other. They effectively said “no” to a competition, and “yes” to being different, imaginative, and pragmatic. Liverpool is much better for it. It now has two complementary, rather than competing, Christian monuments, each a product of its unique historical circumstances.

Image Credit: Terry Kearney// CC0 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0)

CULCHER EDITORIAL It is often said that Sheffield, my home city, like ancient Rome, was built upon seven hills – though I would contend that none of the seven hills of Rome has anything quite like the imposing and impenetrable Park Hill surmounting its brow.

The Grade II listed ex-council estate was a leitmotif of my childhood and adolescence, its colourful cubism a brazen emblem adorning mugs, tea-towels, music videos and BBC specials, its name intoned in Pulp songs and Doctor Who episodes.

A brutalist, modernist crusade, modelled on Le Corbusier’s Unités in Europe, Park Hill was post-war Britain’s most ambitious public housing project. By the 90s, though, the flats had fallen into disrepair and dilapidation. What was previously a triumphant realisation of Northern 50s and 60s iconoclasm became a shadow of its former glory. It told the time-old tale of municipal estates essentially becoming slums. In 2004 Sheffield City Council and English Heritage turned to developers Urban Splash, and they embarked on a project to transform the estate into upmarket apartments and business units, all artfully exposed concrete and sprawling windows.

The parts of Park Hill untouched by Urban Splash stand as the forgotten citadel of a bygone era – a tribute to the North’s unashamed, unabashed delight in its own ugliness, and a memento of a monument that commemorates the often grim realities of our chaotic and crumbling world.

Moving to Oxford was certainly a departure from my city’s modernist and brutalist heritage. Though I am comforted by the concrete lattices of Somerville’s Margery Fry house and St John’s Tommy White building’s Park Hill-esque geometry, I was struck by the fact that, for the first time in my life, I was living in a city whose cultural inheritance wasn’t a preoccupation with the degradation and deterioration of it own structures.

Tate Britain coined it ‘Ruin Lust’ in their 2014 exhibition exploring artists’ obsessions with imagery of decay and dilapidation. ‘Ruin lust’ as a phenomenon is an explosion of interest in post-industrial aesthetics that found its roots in an anxiety over the ways in which globalisation is fundamentally transforming urban space, and a curiosity about what the remnants and remains of former ages can teach us about social dynamics. Indeed, concerns about the exacerbation of social-spatial divisions in conurbations and mega-cities paired with a preoccupation with the fragility of non-tangible structures – political, economic and social institutions – thrust Brutalism back onto the cultural scene with an explositivity in the 2010s. The impenitent rundown, rough-and-readiness of post-industrial structures certainly challenges contemporary urbanism’s addiction to stylized and carefully curated boutique living, and its glossy, generic architecture, that echoes media and celebrity’s interminable image-obsession. ‘Ruin lust’ is, in essence, counter-cultural.

The curious charm of ‘ruin lust’ is that it is an aesthetic fascination with something fundamentally aesthetically unfortunate.

A long-term resident of the Park Hill estate said, ‘People think we live in a slum. They don’t realise that I live in a penthouse looking out over the city’. The story goes that the writer Guy de Maupassant ate lunch in the Eiffel Tower every day because it was the only place in Paris from which he couldn’t see it. Perhaps one of Brutalism’s most important architectural legacies is the agreement that its buildings are more pleasant to look out from than to look on at.

- Anna Mayer

MUSIC

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PLAYLIST MUSIC & STRUCTURES

In the theme of this week’s print edition, our team has selected music which reflects on structures.

Pythagoras’ nightmare: Reincarnation, Coldplay and the music of the spheres Flynn Hallman discusses a Pythagorean reaction to Coldplay’s latest album.

EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLAVE Radiohead Flora Dyson

ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL Pink Floyd Flora Dyson

MEMPHIS SOUL STEW King Curtis Flynn Hallman

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would have been in and out of counselling, The static’s nice. I could do without the or metempsychotic’s anonymous, or taken to screeching.” asphyxiating a stress ball every time he hears “Are you kidding? That’s the music of about Elon Musk. What with all the dying, the spheres, commissar. It’s beautiful. being reincarnated, and the cynics, I’m sure Like old jazz.” he would have had his fair share of highs Peter Watts, Blindsight and lows. But I doubt anything could have In around 600 BC, the Ionian philosopher prepared him for the 15th of October 2021. It Pythagoras is said to have originated the was on this day that Coldplay released their idea of the music of the spheres. This was the ninth studio album, Music of the Spheres, and geocentric belief that the earth is surrounded I fear it might well have proved his fatal blow. by eight crystalline, transparent ’spheres,’ Don’t get me wrong. The album is upbeat, concentrically carrying the sun, moon, planets cheerful, maddeningly optimistic and, at least and stars in their daily earthly orbit. intermittently, catchy for most of us The movement of each sphere mortals. But something tells was understood to produce me it’s not quite the empyreal a certain tone, which, when “The album is up- sound Pythagoras would taken together, formed have had in mind. From the octave of a celestial beat... But something the soul destroying synth harmony where the repetitions of the opening stars (farthest away and song, ‘Higher Power,’ to tells me it’s not quite so considered to orbit the screechy serenade fastest) produced the of ‘Biutyful,’ (where the the empyreal sound highest pitch and the lead singer duets with moon the lowest. something stuck in an air Pythagoras would The association Pythavent), the album seems to goras drew between mathehave had in mind.” somewhat miss the celestial matical and musical ratios mark. remains enduringly influenChris Martin, the frontman has tial, but his cosmic theory of conspoken of Music of the Spheres as first sonance has long since been dismissed by being influenced by watching the Cantina astronomers as little more than a metaphoric Band from the original Star Wars and wonexpression for the harmony of the universe. dering what other musicians in the cosmos A similar thing can be said for his concept would sound like. This produced the concept of reincarnation, called ‘metempsychosis,’ in of it being set in a fictional planetary system, which the soul was believed to transmigrate entitled The Spheres, which contains nine to another body after death. Unfortunately planets, three natural satellites, a star and a this too hasn’t quite caught on with the mo- nebula. The essential Pythagorean parallel dern masses as much as his other big hitters: lies in the fact that each of these cosmic enworking out the sides of right-angle triangles tities corresponds to a particular song on the in GCSE maths, and vegetarianism, to name album. But while the concept is artistically some familiar favourites. ambitious, its application feels more orientaFor the sake of argument though, let’s take ted towards commercial success.

Pythagoras’ slightly more wacky theories This might have something to do with at face value. Let’s say that his soul’s still Music of the Spheres being Coldplay’s first knocking about on earth listening out for project produced by the middle-aged Swedish the planetary orchestra’s interminable tune. hit-machine, Max Martin. Having collaboraThis would mean that, over the course of ted with everyone from Britney Spears and the last two and a half millennia, he would the Beastie Boys in the 90s, to Taylor Swift have watched on as Copernicus, Galileo and and the Weeknd today, Martin has just earned Newton gradually dismantled his beloved the twenty-second No. 1 Billboard hit of his musical concept. Perhaps by this point he career with the album’s second single, ‘My

Universe,’ featuring BTS. Max Martin is known in the music industry as an advocate of what he calls “melodic math,” a songwriting style which aims at fitting the syllables of each line to the sounds of the track, without much regard for whether the lines themselves make sense. In the past Chris Martin has admitted to his own relaxed approach to the semantics of songwriting. He’s cited a tendency to prioritise emotions over lyrical coherence.

The result is that, together, Martin² have produced an album with a formidably marketable recipe for upbeat unintelligibility. To top it all off, they’ve even managed to cut down the word count of the tracklist, choosing to name certain songs using emojis instead. In all, Martin actually describes the entire album pretty neatly in just its second verse, singing “I’m like a broken record, I’m like a broken record and I’m not playing right.”

Music of the Spheres joins a long list of musical endeavours influenced by Pythagoras’ concept. Holst is a major name which comes to mind. There’s also the experimental technicality of Rued Langgaard’s orchestral score of the same name, written in 1916-18.

More recent valiant efforts include the minimalist rock approach of Ian Brown’s third solo studio album, released in 2001, and Bjork’s swirling, philosophical The Crystalline Series (2011). Of all these variations on the music of the spheres, though, I honestly think that Pythagoras would have preferred Coldplay’s to remain inaudible.

I can picture him, unconsolable, on the 15th of October last year, reincarnated as a pet gerbil, or a spoon, or a slightly chubby toddler from Amsterdam called Lars, crying into his cornflakes with Chris Martin and BTS echoing in his ears…“you (you), you are (you are) my universe”. His idea for a grand, mathematical approach to music reduced to the “melodic math’ of efficiently turning a song into a commercial success. Either way, if he is still with us, I have no doubt he’s wishing he hadn’t been right all along. That he’d binned all this metempsychosis business, and his soul had kicked it along with his body in pastoral Ionian peacefulness, millennia before Musk and the two Martins changed his tune.

Image Credit: OpenClipart/ CC0 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0)

What’s on in Oxford?

SAT 22ND JAN

SAT 22ND JAN

SAT 29TH JAN

JAZZ OFF! OUJO X DUBB

BY OXFORD UNIVERSITY JAZZ ORCHESTRA

BACH BRANDENBURG CONCERTO NO. 1 OXFORD BACH SOLOISTS WITH CANTATAS ‘FALSCHE WELT, DIR TRAU ICH NICHT’ BWV 52 AND ‘VEREINIGTE ZWIETRACHT’ BWV 207

SHY FX LOCATION: O2 ACADEMY OXFORD

LOCATION: GROVE AUDITORIUM, MAGDELEN COLLEGE

LOCATION: NEW COLLEGE CHAPEL, NEW COLLEGE

WHEN: 23:00 GMT

WHEN: 19:00 – 21:00 GMT

WHEN: 15:00 – 16:30 GMT

FILM

15

New year, new film: Cherwell recommends Caitlin Wilson, Wang Sum Luk, Noah Wild & Abbie Nott share their cinematic hopes and regrets for the upcoming year.

MUST SEE The film team have picked the best recommendations to fit with Culcher’s theme - and what better structural category is there than the cinematic genre?

DRAMA The Lost Daughter Tipped for an Oscar, Olivia Coleman demonstrates what it is to go against society’s expectations of motherhood.

FLORA DYSON

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his is the time of year for promises we may not keep.

And we’ve got plenty of movierelated resolutions, whether it’s something we always wanted to see but have never found time for, or a new aspect of film that we want to get into.

From contributors from and beyond the Film section, here are some of our moviewatching goals for the New Year…ones which we will hopefully stick to.

Caitlin Wilson This year I’m resolving to embrace the short film. I’m a fairly devoted filmwatcher - I love carving out time to watch three-hour epics and ninety-minute gems alike, but I don’t always have the time to invest in a great feature. Short films are often under-promoted and under-watched, but the ones I have seen have stuck with me for years. Jim Cummings’ Thunder Road centres one of the best acting performances I’ve ever seen, and J e r e m y Comte’s Fauvre

haunts me to this day. Several of my favourite directors have also dabbled in shorts - Sofia Coppola’s Lick the Star has been in my Letterboxd ‘to watch’ list for a while now, as has Julia Ducornau’s Junior.

Short films are a place for the weird and niche parts of cinema to thrive, where new filmmakers test the waters and veterans explore new facets of their art.

So I’m declaring this year my year of the short film. Maybe I’ll even try making one of my own!

Abbie Nott My resolution to go in search of new favourite films this year got off to a false start when I put on ‘When Harry Met Sally’ for the definitely-at-leasttwentieth time on New Year’s Day. I am a compulsive re-watcher of movies: this is something I thought everyone was guilty of, but it turns out not all of my friends have watched ‘Love, Actually’ enough times to know everyone’s lines - even the ones spoken by the little boy in the octopus costume…

In 2022, I am going to expand my horizons beyond the Richard Curtis and Nora Ephron rom-com sections of Netflix.

‘Licorice Pizza’, featuring Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman, is a new coming-of-age movie I want to see, although I am mostly drawn in by the Bowie song in the trailer.

I loved ‘tick, tick… BOOM!’, the Jonathan Larson biopic starring Andrew Garfield, so I’m hoping the musicals streak will continue with the new ‘West Side Story’ which I can’t wait to get around to.

One film I keep hearing about is Spider-Man: No Way Home. I have somehow never watched a single Spiderman film - maybe this is the year that changes and then I can discover if the hype is to be believed! Either way, I hope 2022 gives me a new top-10 film… that was released after 2010.

Wang Sum Luk For an editor of the Film section, the list of Important Classic Films I haven’t seen is embarrassingly long—and by

that, I mean I saw Jaws for the first time this New Year’s Day. My initial plan of following that by watching Spielberg’s other major films in chronological order was put on hold when I remembered that I still had vacation reading to finish, but I’m finishing my Spielberg-A-Thon as soon as I can.

This may also be the year I finally make myself watch those boring foreign art films I’ve always been putting off seeing— yeah, I know the work of Yasujiro Ozu and Andrei Tarkovsky would be valuable additions to my education as a movie viewer, but why sit through a minute-long close-up of a vase when I could go on YouTube and watch fight scenes from a Marvel movie? Hopefully I’ll change that habit, even if I might need to duct-tape myself to my chair to ensure that I don’t start checking my phone while watching Tokyo Story.

Noah Wild The new year is a good opportunity for reorganisation, perhaps a clear out of things that are now taking up space, left in the attic acquiring dust and beginning to smell of rotting nostalgia. For me, the film equivalent of old comics or neverplayed CDs is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Whilst WandaVision started off 2021 well for Marvel, providing an energetic series that utilised and subverted its TV format, this energy tailed off as the year went on. Now the saturation of Marvel content is taking up more time in my life than it’s worth. With an episode released on Disney Plus almost every week of the year, alongside four feature films, it seems no one can stay on top of the endless releases, study for a degree or hold a full-time job all at the same time. 2022 may be the year when I make some space on the shelves and walk away from the developing ‘multiverse’ before a new incarnation of Iron Man is ripped out from a solar system different from our own and the whole process starts all over again. Though maybe the Black Panther sequel will forge new ground like its predecessor, and I’ll end up breaking

HORROR Scream The fifth outing of the classic slasher.

Hold on to your popcorn!

CAITLIN WILSON

WESTERN The Power of the Dog Benedict Cumberbatch is back. So bake your Cumbercookies and settle down to watch him in a modern take on the Western genre. Yee Haw. WANG SUM LUK

the resolution. In the meantime, I have a stack of unwatched old classics on DVD that need watching before I take them to the charity shop. I’d estimate that it’s about four years since I bought Gladiator from CEX for fifty-pence and at this point I’m starting to feel sorry for it, left there unloved and unwatched.

Artwork: Wang Sum Luk Image Credits: Matej//Pexels, Pexels// Pixabay, ViTalko//Pexels, Hans//Pixabay, DeltaWorks//Pixabay, ericspaete//Pixabay, Jonas Von Werne//Pexels. Left: GDJ//Pixabay

THE SOURCE

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Silent Spring

By Fiona Zeka

HE E SOURC

A land like a body decayed.

He holds me as winter hits.

I reciprocate his warmth. Between us, A silent spring, Hummingbirds heave and sing, The leaves watch.

As he leaves, dawn.

A honey-hollow beyond the woods.

Over-ripe fruits hang on Over-heavy boughs.

Winter hangs over the house like a death-promise.

I return to the woods, Sleep-walking, sleep-talking, sleep-waking Through distant sounds of wedding celebrations, Një martesë e lumtur.

T

Next door, silence.

An old woman sits alone, love-lost.

The TV flickers momentarily, Night follows.

He knocks, enters the guest room, Lights the gaslamp.

My mothers’ paintings stain the wall with a red and blue so deep it reminds me of her red-stained, silently scared lips in her wedding day photo, the one we rarely see.

He takes me to the master bedroom. All that’s left of my uncle’s marriage are its effects.

Rumpled bed sheets, A dresser stand crowned with lipsticks, burning red.

A hint of shattered glass near the door.

A bowl of bruised fruit, gathering dust.

I refuse his advances, Escape the room, awash with fury.

The river near the house welcomes my anger. A ray of drowned sunlight charges the water with colour. I ritually trace my childhood steps, Those taken every summer, when we’d load up carts full of over-ripe fruit and Frame the riverbed with rot, And laugh, And leave.

17

THE SOURCE

Óró! You are welcome home!

By Iseult De Mallet Burgess wintry stars and water-songs and thin places and words and words and words except the phrases i remember: go raibh maith agat, más é do thoil é, dia duit, dún an doras, slán i was your child and i still sound like you sometimes but when i do, i sound small i don’t think you remember me because now the ocean is a buffet for sharks and the sun explodes every evening for attention and disappears quickly the words want attention too Brekkie, Bikkie, Barbie, Bogan and the heat demands to be felt still, in thin places and in meek sunsets and in Proustian moments and in the words i forgot and the ones i took with me, a slight child cries and an old woman sings: “óró sé do bheatha ‘bhaile” and i’m sorry, i’m so sorry

Submit your creative writing to The Source at: cherwelleditor@gmail.com

BOOKS

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Recommended reads THE 1920s As 2022 begins, our Books editorial team recommends their favourite books set in or written during the 1920s. While we wait to see what the 2020s bring, why not travel back in time to a decade remembered for its decadence and revolution.

Tender is the Night

By F. Scott Fitzgerald Tender is the Night, Fitzgerald’s last completed novel, is set in the bustling vibrancy of the French Riviera in the late 1920s. It tells the story of the tragic romance of young actress Rosemary and the classy American couple Dick and Nicole Diver, set in a distinctly hedonisitic and decadent society - which defines so much of 1920s literature. Fitzgerald’s writing is evocative and romantic all whilst dealing with pertinent themes such as disillusionment and the reality of struggles with mental health issues.

As another one of his masterpieces, if you’re a fan of The Great Gatsby then you might like this.

- Elena Buccisano, Books Editor

Mrs Dalloway

By Virgina Woolf CW: PTSD It’s pretty difficult to look back on a text you studied for A Level without deep, deep resentment, but I still love Mrs Dalloway. The book’s distinctive style and tone makes it a great world to escape into, and while undoubtedly ‘literary’, its characters and their relationships still feel realistic and relatable. The novel follows Clarissa Dalloway as she prepares for a party, while interspersing this with flashbacks to Clarissa’s younger years in the countryside, and the life of Septimus Smith, a WW1 veteran suffering from PTSD. - Katie Kirkpatrick, Deputy Editor

Good Morning, Midnight

By Jean Rhys Relatively forgotten today, Good Morning, Midnight was considered the peak of Jean Rhys’s early career at the time of its release. Narrated by a friendless, transient woman named Sasha who wanders aimlessly around interwar Paris, this innovative and haunting novel was inspired by Rhys’s own experiences as a poor Dominican immigrant in Europe. Characterized by a fragmented, disrupted style and frequent movements between time and space, this modernist classic is memorable for its bold critique of national, gender and class oppression.

- Eliza Browning, Books Editor

A Tour of foreign literature France

The Books contributors take us around the world through the books they love from each country.

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he world of foreign fiction is diverse and rich but often underrepresented, which is exactly what we are hoping to change! Enjoy a ‘tour’ through some great recommendations of world literature and maybe you’ll find your next read!

Norway Hedda Gabler, by Henrik Ibsen: recommended by Rowena Sears Henrik Ibsen’s 1891 tragedy feels more relevant with every reading. The eponymous protagonist, an aristocrat in a loveless marriage to a mundane academic, could not be further from the angelic heroine we have come to expect of women in nineteenth-century literature.

Frustrated with her lack of autonomy over her own life, Hedda seeks to dominate and destroy those around her, depriving them of their fragile happiness. However, Ibsen makes it difficult for us as readers to completely dislike her; Hedda is a victim of a society which refuses to allow women any control over their own lives, and her unwanted pregnancy, her fear of scandal, and her experiences of sexual coercion are issues which, unfortunately, we can understand and relate to over a century after the play’s first performance.

Italy My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante: recommended by Antara Singh My Brilliant Friend is the first of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels; it traces the story of two best friends, Elena and Lila, growing up during the 1950s, in a poor yet lively neighbourhood in the outskirts of Naples, Italy. On the surface, it’s a coming-of-age novel, but what made it such an incredible read was how Ferrante managed to weave in a litany of other themes. It’s a story about male violence, the results of the patriarchy on women’s creativity, social class, adolescent love, left-wing politics, power, and shoes. Ferrante uses Italy’s turbulent historical and political background in the first half of the twentieth century to explore the girls’ livelihoods and uses them in turn to deepen our understanding of the social fabric of Italy itself. My Brilliant Friend is not only the story of these two girls and their transition to womanhood, but the story of a neighbourhood, a city, and a nation.

Czech Republic The Trial by Franz Kafka: recommended by Elena Buccisano The Trial, for me, was a charity shop impulse buy after recognising the name of its author, Franz Kafka. As the writer of the famous Metamorphosis, I had heard tales of Kafka as an elusive and mystifying writer – and The Trial certainly solidified that impression. Fundamentally, this novel relates the perplexing experiences of a man arrested on a charge which is never specified to the reader, but within this narrative Kafka is clearly trying to elucidate some of the fundamental dilemmas of human life. The novel is psychologically intense, often frustrating, but fantastic. Ultimately, you realise that what the protagonist is charged with is not really important – what is more frustrating is the mechanics of justice and the absurdity of life itself. It is almost unlike any book I have read before.

Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan: recommended by Eliza Browning I’ve been on a French literature binge recently, so impulse buying Francoise Sagan’s Bonjour Tristesse for fifty percent off in Heathrow in December turned out to be an unexpectedly perfect decision. First published in 1954, when the author was only 18, the novel caused an instant sensation in the French media for its portrayal of sensual, amoral bourgeois intellectuals. The novella-length book is short enough that you can devour it in an entire afternoon, and is the ideal stylish beach or plane read, full of suspenseful descriptions of languid summer days and the shimmering French Riviera. Perfect for fans of F. Scott Fitzgerald or Elena Ferrante.

Russia The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov: recommended by Anna Stephen When our tyre burst on the M11 a few years back, I found myself stuck in a garage accompanied only by my family and a packet of McVitie’s Gold Bars. However, as luck would have it, I happened to be carrying a copy of Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita in my luggage. This is a story that interweaves a plot about the devil appearing as a magician in 1930s atheist Moscow, wreaking havoc upon the city, with an account of Pontius Pilate’s officiation of the trial of Jesus. The casual, happy-go-lucky attitude of the characters, the ludicrousness of events, and the totally flippant manner of narration (interpreted and conveyed wonderfully by translators Burgin and O’Connor) come together to create a healthy dose of escapism and satire that could make up for a puncture any day. I can’t remember enjoying many novels as much as I enjoyed this one.

Algeria The Plague by Albert Camus: recommended

by Matthew Holland Going into reading The Plague by Albert Camus I was acutely aware of two things about the book: first, that this book was laced with an extended metaphor of the tyranny of the Nazi Regime as being akin to a plague-like existence, and second, that Camus is renowned principally as a philosopher as opposed to a novelist. Despite the obvious parallels that can be made between the Plague and the Nazi Regime, this book also seems scarily prophetic in our plague-stricken world, with the imposition of harsh measures to control the Plague and the separation caused by quarantining being realities which we have ourselves experienced.

Ultimately, its greatest messages lie in its teaching of the selfless public servant, acting to save lives and grant humanity and dignity to a depersonalised world. The Plague should certainly be considered recommended reading for all of us who have experienced the world of this novel become reality.

India Ecstatic Poems by Mirabai (Versions by Robert Bly and Jane Hirshfield): recommended

by Shayon Mukherjee There are few poets with works so venerated that the poets themselves enjoy a deification of sorts. However, one Rajasthani princess from the 16th century, the ‘poet-saint’ Mirabai, has managed to achieve this feat. In artfully rendered English, Bly and Hirshfield choose poems from Mira’s works that, when read in the presented order, tell a secret story of a divine love lost and rediscovered. Casting aside the obligations of her caste and family, she surrenders herself physically, spiritually and sexually to The Dark One, an enigmatic figura-

tion of Lord Krishna as a divine lover. Mira has attained a legendary status among Indians the world over. Her biographers tell us few facts about her life and tend to prefer recounting a patchwork of folkloric tales about her associates, marriage and politics, all of which draw heavily from her passionate, enigmatic poetry – poetry of love, despair, surrender and ultimately, divine reconciliation.

Japan The Makioka Sisters by Jun’ichirō Tanizaki: recommended by Serena Kerrigan Tanizaki’s novel, The Makioka Sisters, was serialized between 1943 and 1948, charting the conflict between a traditional Edo period Japan, and a modern world emerging with the advent of the Second World War. The novel resembles Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in its concern with the vicissitudes, foibles, and joys of a group of four sisters from an aristocratic family in Osaka. Each sister is constrained by the societal injunction to succeed in the marriage market and to sustain the family name, but they are equally free spirits in their own ways. The novel’s Japanese title, Sasameyuki, meaning lightly falling snow, is given visual representation in the poetic descriptions of the falling cherry blossoms which the four sisters routinely visit in early spring. It is passages like this in the novel which capture the beauty of the Japanese landscape, and the passing of a way of life.

Colombia One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez: recommended by Thomas Bristow One Hundred Years of Solitude is perhaps the most famous work of the magical realism genre, and possibly of Latin American literature. The narrative is set in the fictional town of Macondo, and our characters are its inhabitants and the many successive generations of the Buendía family. The story is grand and mythic, involving the larger themes of time and fate. But what I loved most about it was the complete uniqueness of Marquez’s imagination. Owing to its style, this is a quite unconventional book. Bizarre and intriguing characters and witness to bizarre and intriguing events. The increasingly confusing Buendía family are timeless in their eccentricity, and the narrative tumbles until it reaches a poignant end. This is a story of one family’s presence in a rapidly changing world. With the greatest opening line of any book, One Hundred Years of Solitude is fascinating, and quite simply brilliant.

Brazil The Passion According to G.H. by Clarice Lispector: recommended by Ned Summers There is no other author that makes as convincing a case for the novel as a unique medium for storytelling as Clarice Lispector. In The Passion According to G.H. (A paixão segundo G.H.) G.H., the narrator, attempts to give a report of a short experience she had the previous day. The account is also an attempt to understand the shift that this experience has forced upon her and the world that she suddenly finds herself living in. It is a tortured read. Lispector writes in the introduction “I would be happy if it were only read by people whose souls are already formed. Those who know that the approach, of whatever it may be, happens gradually and painstakingly.” If you can give yourself over to the book, you will discover that Lispector, even in translation, distills into perfect text the disturbing moment in which someone’s world changes irrevocably. A masterpiece of Brazilian, and world, literature.

STAGE

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So you’ve heard of the Oscars, what about the Oliviers?

Anya Biletsky explores the reasons why theatre awards shows get so much less coverage than awards for music and film.

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wards season is almost upon us, and the annual whispers of who is going to scoop the most coveted Academy and Grammy Awards are beginning to simmer on social media and in the press.

Will Kristen Stewart win Best Actress for her poignant performance as Princess Diana in Pablo Larraín’s Spencer, or will the award go to Lady Gaga for her portrayal of the ruthless Patrizia Gucci in Ridley Scott’s House of Gucci? Is Olivia Rodrigo, who soared to fame in 2021, going to win the Grammy for Best New Artist, as so many think she will? Everyone has their own predictions for the Oscars and Grammys.

However, a subject far less-commonly discussed is the outcome of theatre awards shows. The Olivier Awards and the Tony Awards, which aim to give recognition to excellence in West End and Broadway productions respectively, are on the whole not as well-known by the

public as the Oscars and the Grammys. They receive far less buzz, despite also being reputable, long-established awards shows.

Music and movies doubtlessly have a far greater reach and are experienced by many more people than theatre is, and due to accessibility limitations being at play in theatre, theatre awards shows too struggle to reach a wider audience. Music and film streaming services like Spotify and Netflix, aside from being generally less pricey than theatre tickets, offer a myriad of films and songs of almost every genre on-demand, bringing up-and-coming actors and musicians alongside well-renowned stars to the forefront of a vast consumer base. Needless to say, having to physically travel to the theatre rather than simply enjoy it from the comfort of one’s home, as is possible with music and film, does not particularly facilitate everyday theatre-going either.

Since the public is not exposed as consistently to theatre, and thereby to stage actors, directors, playwrights and so forth, the interest in the awards given to these creatives is not likely to be as fervent as for those given to our favourite musicians and the actors dominating our screens.

And yet, theatre awards shows like the Tonys and the Oliviers are undeniably important in helping to drive and sustain a marginalised industry. Without names of the same ampleur as Marvel or Disney producing theatrical productions, theatre is often not given the same acknowledgement as that received by recent big-budget movies. Indeed, theatre has been bearing an especially difficult burden lately with the blow that the Covid-19 pandemic has dealt to all those involved in the creative industry; many crew members and actors have lost the source of their daily income due to shows being cancelled for months at a

“Theatre awards shows have been able to encourage and guide the swift revival of this bvulnerable industry.”

time. Emerging from the instability created by the pandemic, theatre awards shows have been able to encourage and guide the swift revival of this vulnerable industry by continuing to emphasise the achievement of theatre professionals and bringing shows to the attention of the wider public.

The promotion that theatre awards ceremonies provide is vital not just for productions as a whole, but for the individuals involved in them. Like the Oscars and the Grammys, the Tonys and the Oliviers boost the careers of budding young talents; in 2017, Jamael Westman received an Olivier nomination for Best Actor for his role as Alexander Hamilton in the West End’s production of Hamilton, his first lead role in a theatrical production.

John McCrea also became widely known for his Olivier Award-nominated breakthrough performance as Jamie in the musical Everybody’s Talking About Jamie in 2018. Indeed, the Olivier and Tony Awards honour not only brilliant acting performances on stage and standard categories like ‘Best Play’ and ‘Best Musical’, but also exceptional work accomplished by production members such as costume designers, which is crucial in showing appreciation for and putting into the limelight the work done by experts behind the scenes of theatre whose names are less visible to audiences.

It must be noted however that a significant

limitation to the Olivier Awards is that not all UK theatres, but only West End theatres which are members of Society of London Theatre (the original founders of the awards show in 1976) are eligible for Olivier consideration. Likewise, the Tonys solely recognise New York shows on Broadway.

What is so great about the Oscars is that aside from showcasing American, Englishlanguage films, they also give accolades to international films and foreign language films, meaning that the awards are able to attract global interest and therefore a much larger audience. The same goes for the Grammys; the music celebrated by this awards show is diverse in genre and worldwide in its consumption.

London and New York theatre, in contrast, is stationary (bar, of course, the odd tour).

Since theatre productions eligible to be considered as potential contenders for Olivier and Tony Awards are limited geographically, these awards shows have more difficulty attaining the same level of national interest, let alone international.

Ultimately, although the Oliviers and the Tonys might not be the talk of the century, their role in promoting stage shows, actors and creatives is essential for theatre to flourish and continue to attract audiences in our post-pandemic era.

“Like the Oscars and the Grammys, the Tonys and the Oliviers boost the careers of budding young talents.”

Image Credit: Christie Goodwin

On the Oxford Stage Review: The People vs the Oxford Revue The Oxford Revue, The Old Fire Station In the sold-out Old Fire Station, I knew the performance would be one to remember when it began with a keyboard on stage – you can’t go wrong with a song, can you?

The charismatic host, Jack McMinn, kicked things off with a laugh-out-loud ode to Pret a Manger, channeling Tim Minchin in his brilliant proof that ‘manger’ can rhyme a multitude of surprising words, including ‘longer’. After the Oxford Revue’s pandemic-related hiatus from live performances, it was certainly back with a bang.

That bang continued in the first sketch, with a meta-theatrical musing on the subtleties of Chekhov’s gun… I eagerly anticipated its return. I was not disappointed when towards the end of Act 1 a Telly-Tubbies dystopia culminated in the assassination of Tinky Winky.

Never has ‘time for tubby bye bye’ been so disturbing, and the idea of the baby in the sun as the evil overlord was perfect.

Alfred Dry’s sexy salesperson was a hilarious returning feature of the show, marketing everything from Steve Jobs’ jobs to Bill Gates’ gates. The People vs The Oxford Revue was a masterclass in laugh-a-minute sketches that also managed to include jabs at capitalism and the government without seeming forced. There was even a cheese and wine joke in Act 2 – very topical! The most eminent and most noble Annalise Dodson led a sketch about the bumbling House of Lords. Other subjects that didn’t escape ridicule in the first half included the noises made by tennis players and the ludicrous names of posh cocktails.

The second half was perhaps the stronger, with Jack McMinn declaring

that it would get a bit more risqué before launching into a song condemning sex on the beach. Highlights from this half included Jake Dann’s mob boss holding hustings for a new mafia welfare officer, as well as a take on the last supper, featuring Deborah Acheampong’s charismatic Jesus, with a panto-villain Judas. However, the stand-out sketch featured Alison Hall and Alec Watson as a struggling married couple, only to find that they were living in The Sims. Hilarious to both those familiar with the computer game or not, they showed exactly why live comedy is needed, as not much is better than being in a room with so many people trying to contain their hysterics at the same thing.

Overall, the evening achieved a tone of hilarity mixed in with just enough social commentary. The final song was

one that made me already nostalgic to have reached the end of the show; I definitely wasn’t ready to say goodbye to all of the wonderful characters who had graced the stage that evening. It is an amazing skill to have such a carousel of worlds and people played by the same few actors, and yet the show never felt disjointed; it was almost as if the tennis players, the telly-tubbies and the young conservatives were all interconnected.

The students were all outstanding, and the effort that was put into the showcase was certainly rewarded by the laughs they were given in return by the audience – I can’t wait to watch what they do next!!

- Abbie Nott

FASHION

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Plagued by the tracksuit: How Covid-19 changed fashion fundamentally Elena Buccisano explores the best, and worse, fashion consequences of the coronavirus pandemic.

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the beginning of an online shopping ince being somewhat released from addiction. Just as fast as I rehomed my old the restrictive hold of Covid-19 clothes, I replaced them with new ones lockdowns and being allowed back – a process which I now look back on as into a world in which we see more unmaintainable and primarily done out than just our families every day, I think of boredom. Although I am now trying to many of us reached some sort of crisis consciously change how and where I shop when it came to dressing. After months for clothes, I occasionally find myself of being inside, curating my tracksuit tempted by that ‘out with the old collection, the easing of lockdown and in with the new’ mindset, restrictions certainly made by lockdowns, of me re-evaluate how I dress, “The lockdown triggered periodically reinventing my a process which I think wardrobe and searching started in the midst of did not only the internet for new lockdown. mean a clear‘trendy’ clothes whilst Having not much else selling or donating my to do during the first out, but also the older ones. major lockdown in 2020, I Like many, I have spent beginning of an spent time going through much of the last year all the clothes I owned online shopping in more casual clothes – and wondering either why primarily tracksuit bottoms I had ever bought such an addition.” and an endless rota of hoodies ugly item, or why I still owned and jumpers – telling myself clothes from my questionable that there was no point in dressing and much less fashionable pre-teen up because there was nothing to dress days. The wardrobe I was staring at was up for. However, since we’ve gained more thoroughly outdated and uninspiring. So, I liberty to go out and do more things, I began the gradual process of rehoming the find myself starting to enjoy fashion once clothes I knew I would never wear again again – something which Covid took away. through platforms such as Depop and Even on simple trips to Tesco or to a bar eBay or donating them to my local charity with friends, I now put more effort into shop and clothes bank. Unfortunately, as my outfit than I would have in pre-Covid many of us experienced, the lockdown times. On reflection, after so long of not did not only mean a clear-out, but also

having a reason to pick out a nice outfit, the chance to do so has become enjoyable again, even if it is for a fairly mundane occasion!

For a while though, the idea of putting on a dress for a special occasion felt bewildering and frankly intimidating after residing in my fashion comfort zone for so long.

But after some time, that stopped being strange.

Now not only do I appreciate fashion more, but I wear things that aren’t so familiar to me – opting for more ‘out there’ clothing which I would have previously been too self-conscious to wear. Covid has certainly made me appreciate the power of fashion and has meant that I have refound the satisfaction of finding a new clothing gem or of simply rediscovering something in the back of my wardrobe which I had forgotten I owned. I think that for many, choosing an outfit which makes you feel confident has gained a new meaning as we all now know what it’s like to sit at home in slightly unflattering clothes with selfconfidence lacking.

Nonetheless, the legacy of Covid remains in the background of my fashion choices and the comfy clothes are never too far away, retaining their place in my wardrobe

—although not necessarily at the forefront of it anymore.

Those items now bring back memories of when comfortprioritising outfits became all the more socially acceptable, and still are.

Covid has certainly made us increase the status of comfort as a requirement for clothing and I still often revert back to it as a safe and frankly inviting choice. So, although Covid has gotten me to experiment more with fashion – those tracksuits will never quite leave my wardrobe.

Image Credit (above and below): Max Pixel// Creative commons (CC0), Adam Niescioruk via Unsplash

The Black Sheep: On Princess Diana’s statement sweaters Iustina Roman discusses the People’s Princess’ best sweaters because Ar Di would have loved Cherwell.

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ith the release of Larraín’s bifeeling even better as a direct result of stayopic Spencer at the end of last ing home during the worst of the pandemic. year, and season 4 of the NetfMoreover, it has been observed that lix-produced drama series The Princess Di may have used her garments Crown in 2020, the life of Princess Diana has to convey certain messages. For example, once again come under the spotlight. one of her most famous pieces is a Known not just for a remarkable red jumper by the ‘70s knitwear “Some have rise to fame and tragic death, brand Warm & Wonderful Princess Diana is also well described them which she first wore in 1981, remembered for her iconic and many more times afas ‘grandma fashion sense which is apter that. The top features preciated even to this day. a pattern of sheep which sweaters’ or Though she is often are all white — except ‘campy’, but it is remembered for her for one. This black sheep most daring and glamcould be a metaphor for clear that they orous looks, especially the princess herself, since remain influential she was seen as an outside the infamous Revenge Dress, I find the Prin- and appreciated in member of the royal famcess of Wales’ casual looks ily. Since then, the brand fashion.” featuring statement sweatRowing Blazers has brought ers even more iconic. Some have back this design with the help described them as ‘grandma sweatof its original creators, so now you ers’ or ‘campy’, but it is clear that they retoo can emulate Princess Diana’s iconic main influential and appreciated in fashion. look—if you have £280 to spare, that is.

Several influencers and models have Another piece I am particularly fond of come out with outfits that are very remiis a graphic sweater which was also reniscent of the athleisure wear Diana used cently reproduced by Rowing Blazers. This to be spotted in while running errands offtime, the message on the salmon-pink duty. Her combinations of cool sweaters sweater she was pictured in while spendand luxury handbags with a pair of cycling ing time with her sons is much more inshorts and sporty trainers are perfectly fityour-face. On the front, it reads “I’m a ting for us nowadays, as we have become luxury…” and on the back, “few can afford”. accustomed to combining looking good with The tongue-in-cheek design showcases the

Princess of Wales’ sense of humour which she managed to express through fashion.

It is perhaps for these reasons that her statement sweaters have made a comeback, gaining huge popularity among a generation born after her death. As more people seek to find new ways of expressing themselves, who better to look up to than the queen (or princess, rather) of making a statement through clothing herself? Without saying a word, Diana gained the sympathy and admiration of many around the globe. Though some of this popularity may be exaggerated — blame your middle-aged mum for continuing to idolise her 25 years on — it is undeniable

that her style has had a long-lasting impact.

Fast fashion and high-end brands alike are now flocking to produce a plethora of cool sweater designs which Diana herself would have probably been proud of. Nowadays, you probably won’t have to search long for a statement knit featuring bright colours and cool images. Harry Styles himself was pictured in a sweater vest featuring Lanvin’s sheep design similar to, but maybe not as powerful as, the Warm & Wonderful one (since the sweater vest does not include a black sheep standing out).

However, you don’t have to splurge out or consume fast fashion to find an iconic sweater of your own.

Popping into a charity shop or even rummaging through your dad’s wardrobe will probably provide you with the perfect ‘ugly sweater’ to channel your inner Di. It’s no wonder that entire generations have fallen in love with her classic, timeless style in a world of trends which come and go before you’ve even had time to form an opinion on them.

Image Credit: Paisley Scotland// Flickr - CC BY 2.0

FASHION

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Exclusive report! The fashion trends to rock 2022 Ciara Beale - our roving reporter - gives Cherwell an exclusive insight into the upcoming fashion trends of 2022.

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hen Madi, Iustina and I introduced ourselves on the nowrebooted Cherwell fashion Instagram (@cherwellfashion – give us a cheeky follow), we each answered the question of what we would like to see left in 2021. All three of us reached the same conclusion: death to y2k fashion.

Cheap pink rhinestones, Juicy Couture, low rises and high hems, and plastic beaded jewellery – don’t get me wrong, I lived for this for a while but I am more than done now. I no longer feel like a hot character in Mean Girls when my pants stick out of my trousers and though I still love my belly button piercing, it doesn’t crave the attention it once did. Vogue may disagree with us (I heard Cherwell’s the new Vogue, no?) but we’re agreed that Y2K and its Urban Outfitters manifestations are going out the door, what will we replace them with? What has fashion got in store for us in 2022?

Don’t take my word for it but these are my trend predictions for 2022.

Balaclavas Less of a prediction and more of a comment about recent developments but I am loving the current balaclava reboot. I can’t go on Instagram anymore without having someone teach me how to knit or crochet one. I took the lazy/cheapskate approach and sewed one out of leftover fleece from other sewing projects and I have to say they are very practi-cal – my neck is always warm and I am never in danger of losing my hat because it’s basically attached to me.

Asymmetry One-shoulder garments are here to stay, no question, but I also want to see more asymmetry in other aspects. On the average night out I lose about 3.4 earrings so my vast collection is almost entirely pairless. I love matching different dangly earrings (I have a big shell one that I tend to wear with almost anything).

Eighties round 2 We’ve already had an eighties reboot in the past couple years but it’s time for it to come back around in a new guise.

I’m talking big bulky-shouldered blazers,

skin-tight leggings, sheer dresses, sequins, and, instead of the belt-length minis Vogue’s been raving about, PUFFBALL SKIRTS! I want geeky, over-dressed, overpatterned and gaudy colours. I do not want eighties tamed down – acid wash jeans and baggy cropped sweatshirts. I want foiled metallics and original punk scene grunge. I want my frizzy mop to be fashionable and so desirable people get perms to achieve the look. I’ll even take big chunky pearls as a replacement of childhood plastic.

Layering The aforementioned eighties style is perfectly enacted with lots of layering (not the mini skirt over jeans early 2000s kind). If a blazer feels to informal for every day, try wearing it in place of a fleece or jacket. I like wearing a hoodie under my blazers to tone it down a bit for my trips to Common Ground (aka the daily fashion show). Sheer items can be made more accessible with tops under or over them.

Uggs?

I wasn’t aware of this resurgence until I got three reels on Instagram in a row of people styling Uggs (I promise Instagram isn’t my only source of trend wisdom) but I am personally ambivalent. Comfort is a big pro with this one but they feel quite Y2K to me and I’ve made my opinions on that matter quite clear. I just hope that if they come back with a bang it comes with sustainability and ethical production.

Very Peri Pantone’s colour of the year for 2022 is Very Peri, a beautiful purpley-periwinkle

shade which I am all for. I also want to see emerald greens, sunshine yellows, and I’m disappointed by the insistence of every recent trend report that head-to-toe white looks will be all the rage. I want colour clashes and chaos.

Make-up – all things bright and beautiful I recently purchased a wet liner palette from Glisten Cosmetics after, you guessed it, discovering them on Instagram and I am in love. I am no make-up guru but I have been loving waking up in the morning, picking a colour and scribbling all over my eyes like (not so) grown-up face paint. I also bought some luminous green and turquoise mascaras to top it all off. I’m bored of the sophisticated black smudgy liners – bring back colour!

My housemates’ predictions I was sat in my room with my housemates while writing this article so I thought I’d share their non-fashion-editor wisdom with you all. Ben got an Oodie covered in

sloths for Christmas and is sure they’ll be all the rage soon; I’m all for it, comfort and sophistication in one, and thoroughly encourage his decision to wear it on his evening walks around Oxford (see if you can spot him). I personally have been wearing my fleece lined Christmas Crocs everywhere without shame. Nick enquires when we will be returning to office wear. I mentioned that most offices nowadays don’t require a suit and tie. He wants to work somewhere that does. Luke anticipates technical wear making a big come back and I couldn’t agree more. Though his desire for hazmat suits to become a daily look might be a stretch, I wouldn’t complain if the boiler suit revival kept growing from strength to strength. If I were to buy one item right now? A Lucy and Yak boiler suit – in the brightest colour they have.

Image Credits: (top) Thibault Penin//Unsplash. Bottom: Sharon McCutcheon//Unsplash

FOOD

22

The way to a girl’s heart is through her comfort foods Maisie Burgess remembers toast, butter and mashed potatoes.

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ashed potato. With heaps of but- can induce the release of opiates, while sweet ter and salt and pepper. More or high calorie foods release serotonin as well specifically , a fork full of mashed – chemicals which cause us to relax and feel potato, with a lump of cold butter, happier. But such reactions will still ultimately left for a second until it just starts to melt, rely on the association of food and memory, and given a good grind of sea developing a regular food salt and black pepper. Toast. into something sentimental My mum’s homemade bread, and reassuring. seeded and crusty, toasted For me,comfort foods are just right, and then smoththose which held some role of ered in raspberry jam. importance in my childhood.

I have a long list of comfort When I have a bowl of leek foods. It ranges from the and potato soup, suddenly I more predictable to the am small, in winter, sitting unexpected, yet comfort food at the kitchen table, being is one of the most subjective looked after by my mother. culinary categories around.

When I have custard, proper But what makes a ‘predictcustard that is, I am, once able’ comfort food? Are there again, with my father. I’m on uniting factors - fat, sugar, my tiptoes as I peer up and salt - and are some comfort into the pan on the stove of foods universal? My personal bubbling yellow, which is list is evidently dominated stirred, oh so carefully, ready by butter-based items, but to be poured into the trifle – what even causes me to feel, the centrepiece of any party. in some strangely innate way, that these foods Comfort foods are not created in a vacuum. are a security?

They are a melting pot of experience and culThe notion of comfort food becomes ever ture and they can teach us about our ingrained more relevant when you are away from similarities, as well as our differences what makes you feel secure. In which are so important to our identimes of difficulty or pain, tities. Just as no two individuals change or loss, or, perhaps will have the same comfort most obviously in the case “Comfort foods are foods, no two countries will of university students, have the same body of food times of homesickness, not created in a associations, and so what our desire for comfort food it comes to represent is can be unbearable. I spent vacuum. They are a perhaps something more my first term of university symbolic than we initially compiling a list of all the melting pot of expe- realise as we spoon custard items I wanted to eat and be into our mouths. cooked upon my return to my rience and culture.”

I adore experimenting with family. To me, these foodstuffs new foods and cuisines. I love are fundamental to what makes a learning more about how ingrehome, home. dients can be shaped and reshaped It is not just the act of eating which is into innovative forms. But innovation isn’t the comfort; it is the smell, the process, the everything. My list of comfort foods is evermemory. Although comfort food is often con- growing as my separation from them extends, stituted by the less challenging ingredients but this is never a bad thing. I can recreate a and recipes, it is never simply about absent dish of solace in my college kitchen, I can be minded refuelling. consoled with a bowl of goodness, but at the So what goes into the creation of a comfort end of term, when I am once more swaddled in food? What exactly places such items on a ped- the blankets of home, all I really want is a reestal of reassurance above all others? Perhaps minder that I am safe. All I really want is a fork it is as simple as science. Appealing flavours full of mashed potato.

Recipe Lentil and Carrot Stew I know, I know, lentil and carrot stew doesn’t sound like the most exciting recipe in the world.

But trust me, this is one of my favourites. Inspired by a Turkish recipe in an old book my mum used to have, I now use this pared down and sped up version as one of my go-to meals at university. It is simple, cheap, nutritious, and totally delicious.

Ingredients (serves four) Olive oil 3 carrots, chopped 1 onion, chopped 1 can of green lentils, drained ½ tsp of stock powder/cube A tomato (if you have one handy) ½ tsp of coriander seeds (or any spice you have really! Try fennel, cumin, pepper, smoked paprika etc.)

Salt and pepper Yoghurt (to serve) Method 1. Heat some oil in the pan and add the onion, carrots and coriander seeds. Put a lid on it, and turn the heat down to soften it all off. This will be the longest bit of the cook-

ing, so be patient if you can, but if not, a slightly crunchy carrot never killed anyone!

2. Now add the lentils, stock powder, the tomato (if you want to) and about a quarter of a can of water. Turn the heat up a little bit and let this all cook for about 5-10 minutes so that the flavours all combine deliciously and the sauce becomes a little thicker and richer.

3. When this is done, season well with salt and pepper to your taste.

4. Voila! Easy as that. I like to serve mine with a big blob of yoghurt, and sometimes some kind of bread to mop it all up.

This is a very flexible recipe and you can really add what you have or what you want to it. You can mix other vegetables in with the onion and carrot like pepper (pretty sure everyone has an old red pepper sitting in the bottom of the fridge which was on sale in Tesco), use any number of flavourings, serve it with some salad, or use a different pulse (like chickpeas, or haricot beans).

Once you have made this you will see how versatile and useful a recipe it can be.

British fare for every affair Rose Morley catalogues our heritage of puddings.

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he Queen’s Platinum Jubilee is upon us and with that has come the emergence of the Platinum Pudding competition. Set up by Fortnum and Mason, it is a challenge to the good people of Britain to come up with a pudding fit for a, or indeed the, Queen. With that in mind, let’s explore some of the more eccentric members which already exist within the pantheon of British puddings.

Brown Bread Ice Cream: Yes, it does seem like an oxymoron at first glance; two ingredients that should certainly not be joined in culinary matrimony. Take a look at a recipe, however, and you will find that this fine dish is a rather moreish one. Instead of a scoop of bog-standard vanilla, with a lifeless slice of wholemeal listlessly dumped on top, it is a soft ice cream studded with little

nuggets of caramelised breadcrumbs, which makes for a texture and a taste wholly unique and very tasty.

Queen of Puddings: Does the pudding live up to the name? Is the proof really in the pudding? Traditionally Queen of Puddings consists of a custard and (white) breadcrumb base that is gently cooked until wobbling, is topped with a layer of jam, usually raspberry, and then soft billows of meringue, baked until brown all over. This one’s a bit more divisive: hot from the oven with lashings of cool thick cream it can be a winner, but it’s certainly not a cut and keep dish in the same way Bread and Butter Pudding can be.

Sussex Pond Pudding: If you have a problem with clogged arteries, look away now. A previously unhonoured dish, this was catapulted into the national eye by it’s

feature on Bake Off a couple of years ago. To make Sussex Pond Pudding you first make a pastry of flour, breadcrumbs, suet and milk, then use it to line a small glass bowl. You then fill the cavity with cubed butter, sugar and a whole lemon, smack bang in the middle. Pop a lid of pastry on top, steam it for a good couple of hours and turn it out onto a plate. If you’ve done your job well, the filling should leak out to create a little moat of butter and sugar around your sandcastle of lemony carbs. Yum. Junket: A pudding so obscure it doesn’t even feature on the Wikipedia page for British desserts. Junket is the weedy cousin of Syllabub, who’s either harbouring extremist right-wing sympathies, or in need of a good hug. It’s made of milk, sugar and rennet, which acts to set it like a very loose creme

caramel. Instead of dissolved caramel on the bottom, however, you get a delicate sprinkling of nutmeg on the top. Give it a try, but keep those hopes low.

Gypsy Tart: Our last pudding has a derogatory name that certainly shouldn’t be used to describe anyone, but used in the context of puddings describes an obscenely sweet and obscenely good tart. Like Treacle Tart, it’s really just pastry filled with pure sugar, specifically dark muscovado and evaporated milk, baked until set to a perfect tremble.

Cream is a must, as is a speedy run around University Parks to burn off the sugar high.

With such a strong history of weird and wonderful puddings in England, one wonders just where the Platinum Pudding competition will lead us. Marmite-on-toast jelly anyone?

LIFE

23

A guide to when you shouldn’t listen to your intuition Michaela Esau gives personal advice on when to say yes to new experiences.

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ollow your instincts. Listen to your intuition. Trust your gut. We’ve all heard these phrases when faced with a decision, no matter if it’s a lifechanging commitment or a routine choice.

Most of the time, it’s good advice. Listening to our intuition can help us make decisions that keep us happy and safe. It can also mean we miss out on some of the best experiences. It’s hard to always listen to your gut if your gut is often queasy with anxiety, telling you not to stray too far from what’s familiar.

My default instinct is almost always to make the safest choice possible. Whilst I love traveling, going out, and being with friends, these activities carry enough risk for my gut to put up a fight. The nerves I get over doing something new often feel the same as when my intuition tells me not to make a self-destructive decision, making it hard to delineate between good and bad choices. The pandemic has only increased this difficulty.

Suddenly, I had a real reason to be anxious about spending time with people, and it only made my intuition cloudier.

The more time I spent at home, the more simple interactions with people went against

my instincts. For the first time in my life, basic tasks like making a phone call made me nervous. Everything was outside of my comfort zone – a zone that my instincts told me not to leave.

The most rewarding parts of Oxford exist outside of my comfort zone. As a visiting student from the United States, studying so far from my family went against my instincts.

Joining societies and organizations can be intimidating for any student, visiting or not. It’s in these situations that we often must ignore that little voice inside our heads. Sometimes, taking a risk is in our best interests.

How can we know when to stay safe inside our comfort zones and when to break out? It’s important to consider how serious the risks are, the value of the potential positive outcomes, and whether any stress you might be experiencing is manageable.

One way I like to do this is by thinking about how I might feel two days after an event. Will I be glad I went to that Taylor Swift club night? Will I feel good about having played social tennis? If the answer is yes, then

the gut feeling is probably just nerves.

If your nerves often lead you away from exciting experiences, try to retrain your gut.

After spending so much time at home during

“We can’t make perfect choices all the time.” the pandemic, I had to consciously make a habit of trying new things so I could adjust to experiencing the unfamiliar. I chose to do one small new thing every day. Some days I’d get coffee at a new coffee shop, cook a new recipe, or watch a movie I had never seen before. New experiences – no matter how minor – helped me feel more comfortable with the unfamiliar.

A n o t h e r factor I like to consider when I don’t know if I should trust my intuition is the worst possible outcome. Thinking about the worst-case scenario may seem like a way to send your mental health spiralling, but it helps me

Horoscopes...

SCORPIO

23 Oct - 21 Nov Your outfit game will be on point this week. Don’t let winter fashion get the better of you. Your sweaters won’t wear you; you will wear

TAURUS

CAPRICORN

22 Dec - 19 Jan You will cruise through your work this week.

I don’t know how you do it, I’m in awe. Cook yourself something nice in celebration, and please appreciate how great you are doing.

SAGITTARIUS 22 Nov - 21 Dec You look great today. Your friends, current boos, tutors, and acquaintances are lucky to know you. Hold your head high, put a smile on your face and remember that you give the best hugs.

20 Jan - 18 Feb

Congrats on finding your keys that you lost last week! This week, your luck will be looking up actually.

I see a new love interest in your horizon. Don’t ask me any questions, I don’t know any specifics.

Honestly, all aspects of your life will be thriving. Work is good, friends are good, love life is good.

Your parents will nag you less. I don’t know if I’m just manifesting or not, but your imminent future looks great sweetie.

LEO 23 July - 22 August

You will hear some interesting news from your closest friend this week. How you define interesting is up to you, but beware, I’ve warned you.

VIRGO 23 August - 22 Sept

Step out of your comfort zone. I see challenges coming your own, which you will overcome with some creativity, imagination, and a dash of sparkle. Don’t worry, you will figure it out.

A handsome stranger will approach you with a riddle this week. I guarantee that you will spend your entire week trying to figure it out.

Please, when you do, get in touch with me. I’m curious.

LIBRA 23 Sept - 22 Oct 2nd week has a lot of hecticness coming your way.

Your social and work life will clash, so I’d recommend spending tomorrow afternoon with your calendar. Organisation and productive will be key for you!

AQUARIUS

21 June - 22 July

21 May- 20 June

Prioritise yourself. Relationships, friendships, work, and life in general will always be chaotic, there’s no way around it. You actively have to choose to pick yourself this week.

Please, do it for me.

I could just leave the event, I know I can handle the worst possible outcome.

Over break, I had a trip booked to France and Germany before news broke of the Omicron variant. My instinct was to cancel the trip. The worst possible outcomes I considered were testing positive, going into a lockdown, or not being able to return to the UK. For me, these outcomes were too risky to offset the good things about traveling, so I cancelled my trip.

The last thing I consider when deciding whether to step outside of my comfort zone is my stress level. If something makes me so uncomfortable that I have trouble sleeping, eating, or enjoying other activities, then it probably isn’t worth it. It’s good to stretch yourself, but even rubber bands eventually snap.

That little voice inside your head is a lot less like a god and more like a good friend.

It’s always worth listening to, but it’s not always necessary to act on its guidance.

Most decisions aren’t black and white. We can’t know all the potential outcomes. We can’t make perfect choices all the time, but we can learn to be more confident in the decisions we make.

CANCER

GEMINI

20 April - 20 May

feel more prepared. I like to think about how I will respond if something goes poorly. If I’m considering attending a social, the worst outcome might be that I can’t find anyone to talk to and feel awkward. Since in this situation

ARIES

PISCES

21 March- 19 April

19 Feb - 20 March

You are feeling a bit destructive, I can feel it.

You need to calm down.

Please relax, take a deep breath, and choose peace today. There is nothing like a hot choco to do the trick.

You will have a tiny disagreement with a friend, but please look at this as a tiny hiccup that will straighten your relationship rather than a problem. Not all disagreements are unproductive.

Artwork by Ben Beechener

LIFE

24

All by myself: How practising solitude transformed my year abroad

Lily Kershaw uses music to map out her journey towards appreciating her own company in Paris.

I

define every stage of my life by music. matter how far you travel. It’s tougher to spot I can name the first song that made me your own patterns repeating when you’re in a cry; the albums that I was obsessed with new destination, dealing with new problems at 16; the indie bands that defined my in a new language. Flaws that are already first lockdown. I listen to music constantly. hard to recognise are further abstracted Every single moment, every person in my when you start to call a new place home. life, has a song or, if Lockdowns and they’re lucky, a whole quarantines had made “Lockdowns and album that will always me grow to hate my quarantines had made make me think of them. own company. All the It was no different me grow to hate my own days blurring together living in France: old left me uncomfortable company.” habits die hard. While and I would find any I attempted to make way possible to escape French music the being by myself. Every defining soundtrack of my stay in Paris, I second had to be spent somewhere else with think the sounds and the words that you’re someone else – being on my own would meant to hear always find you. I can listen be a waste. What if I had to lockdown or to the same song a million times before the quarantine again? What if I look back at this lyrics make sense, and then, suddenly, it opportunity to socialise and regret not taking seems like it was written for me all along. it? I didn’t fear loneliness, I feared myself. I found, in other people’s company, an escape.

If you leave here you Standing at that platform, I felt I could see Had better know all this clearly for the first time. In constantly Which way you had better go trying to run, I had neglected myself, letting [Bushel Hyde, Jessica Pratt] myself be moved by the whims and interests of other people. I was rejecting my independence, Standing at the platform of the station, I felt spending time with others more out of on the edge of something. Paris had grown necessity than desire. That decision had to feel overwhelming, so a trip to visit some left me tired and, in many ways, miserable. friends in the South of France seemed perfect.

Things always grow claustrophobic when I am on a lonely road, and I am travelling, you stay in the same place for too long, and travelling, travelling, travelling sometimes, you can catch yourself staying in Looking for something, the same place even when you change countries. what can it be?

I had this idea that, in moving to France, [All I Want, Joni Mitchell] I’d suddenly like myself more. As if all my problems stemmed from my destination, Moving to a new country, I soon found rather than from myself. As cliché as it solitude to be a necessity. Meeting so many sounds, you can’t outrun who you are, no people quickly became overwhelming: how

can one enjoy a new environment while second lot of crepes after promising Emersyn simultaneously trying to get to know a that this place would be better than the first. new person? You always end up neglecting I could be cooking dinner with Theo, having something. Equally, the year abroad is dinner with Anaïs’s family, or walking back often a profoundly lonely experience even from dinner with Lucas. Perhaps I’m talking (especially) when you’re surrounded by the about poetry with Ines, visiting a gallery wrong people. In those moments, knowing with Marie, or chatting with Simon by the how to appreciate solitude becomes a real gift.

Seine. Maybe I’m totally alone. Toute seule.

Above all, I was in Paris because I wanted When you appreciate your own company, to experience Paris, to see France. Quickly, the company of others becomes optional – why I began to see my own company as a choose to spend time with people who don’t commitment, not only to myself but to my new leave you feeling happy? In fully embracing city. I relished going at my own pace through solitude, I feel I have become a better friend: galleries and museums; I loved exploring new I can now recognise when I am fully capable cafes or going to places I knew I wanted to visit of giving someone the attention they alone (Père Lachaise is great if you ever have deserve and when I just need time to myself. the chance to visit). Not every experience is I have met people I have grown to care enhanced by the company of others and relying about and who I like to believe care about on being accompanied to every destination me. Ironically, I feel like these strong and is severely limiting. You quickly find your supportive bonds only came about because schedule is at the whim of those around you I could recognise and prioritise when I and you can’t fully needed to be alone. As appreciate what is there. much as I feel I have “When you appreciate Strangely, in being been able to build the alone, I often found foundations of deep and your own company, the myself meeting more friendships company of others becomes meaningful people than when I am with those around me, optional.” with friends. At cafés, I really feel like the in shops, or even on the intimate bond I have street, I found people been able to establish would strike up conversations with me – a with myself through this experience former Portuguese teacher who had recently is one that I will hold on to forever. left her boyfriend; an Italian woman who Paris is an incredible city with so much to decided to move here after her year abroad; offer. It would be such a shame to neglect all a man who would exclusively talk to his that beauty in favour of spending time with girlfriend in English despite neither of them people who you can’t appreciate it with. The being native speakers (she couldn’t speak year abroad is a real opportunity to be alone.

French, and he couldn’t speak Hindi). It’s There were days where I would disappear, exciting to get small glimpses into people’s safe in the knowledge that literally nobody I lives without feeling the pressure of building knew would be able to say exactly where I was. a new relationship. It is mutually understood Honestly, it was freeing. There are things that I that this “friendship” ends once the have seen and experiences that I have had that conversation is over, and we can both move are all my own, and I know that I can enjoy and on, having got to know a little bit more about love my life, even at a point where I’m more the people around us. In such a big city, that alone than ever before. I spent most of my is what I wanted – a brief overview. Not every time in Paris with people I loved, even when interaction requires depth to have worth. that meant just spending time with myself.

It feels like I’m inside a flower, It feels like I’m inside my eyelids, And I don’t want to be, Anywhere but here [Red Room, Hiatus Kaiyote]

Collapsed in sunbeams, Stretched out, open to beauty, however brief or violent, I see myself ablaze with joy [Collapsed in Sunbeams, Arlo Parks]

I’m dancing around Julia’s kitchen as we make drunk pasta, or maybe I’m getting my

John Evelyn

An inside look at the Oxford Union Termcard? Late. Hacking? Early. You’re welcome Oxford. Well at least it’s good to see that the Union is keeping to tradition.

It has been confirmed that The Second String Yank was the unnamed appointed committee defector hinted at in last week’s column, joining the rest of the foreigners on Connect 2.0. John Evelyn wonders if they are in fact out of the country, as it seems they’ve completely missed the gun on starting their hacking.

The Univ Queen must have been doing some serious yoga over the break, as she showed remarkable political flexibility by showing up to OULC to hack. The NotSecretary was close in tow, but Mr Debit Card was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he was trying to slate that last allusive officer candidate after a few disheartening rejections. Poor bubs.

The LMH Enforcer kicked off Super Saturday by enforcing a strict no-fun policy

at his campaign launch party. Attendees were treated to some beats dropping harder than the government’s approval rating, but not quite as hard as the mood.

John Evelyn is no mathematician, but even he knows that 6:30pm start + LMH library ≠ mad rave. Speaking of parties, The Enforcer and friends are trying to avoid one of the sausage variety, as they desperately try not be the only slate that is literally just blokes.

In other phallic news, the CC has a new secretary, with the Ghost of Otto Barrow delivering a rock hard hust to secure the prestigious position. John Evelyn hears he is excited to start, but fears he will end up as collateral damage in the brewing turf war between the ROs and elected officials on whether the minutes should be in Times New Roman or not. Exciting stuff.

Even more to come. John Evelyn x

LIFE

25

Cherpse!

Nelson and Maisie Nelson Fernandes Serrao Second Year Trinity College PPE

“I think I was in desperate need of a caffeine hit.”

First impressions?

Way out of my league!

Did it meet your expectations?

Honestly not sure what I was expecting but I’d say so, yeah! She was obviously super sweet, cute and interesting to talk to so couldn’t have asked for more on that front. Might just be ’start of term’ blues or the fact we both have collection coming up in the next few days (eek) but ’that spark’ not really fully there?

What was the highlight?

The free pastries! In all seriousness though, it just felt really natural; conversation flowed nicely, so the entire thing?

What was the most embarrassing moment?

Nothing overly embarrassing?

Describe the date in 3 words: Missing a spark?

Maisie Burgess First Year Regent’s Park College First impressions?

Very smiley and friendly, which is definitely a neccesary thing on the first day back in Ox! Did it meet your expectations?

He turned up and we both drank coffee, so yes! I hadn’t really got further than that in predicting anything…

Looking for love?

Email cherwelleditor@gmail.com or message one of our Life editors!

What was the highlight?

Getting given free pastries by the café. (Sorry, was I supposed to have said something more romantic??)

What was the most embarrassing moment?

Maybe drinking my coffee way to fast and then not having anything to drink. I think I was in desperate need of a caffeine hit.

Describe the date in 3 words: Relaxed, interesting, free-food-improved

Is there a second date on the cards?

Too early to say… I certainly wouldn’t rule out getting to know her more, whether as a friend or otherwise!

Is there a second date on the cards? ‘fraid not this time…

Words of Wisdom from...

RUSTY KATE *WARNING* This mildly comedic column has been written by a drag queen agony aunt. It is not for the faint hearted and contains sensitive topics which may cause distress to some readers. Be prepared for dirty douche water, relationship issues, adultery, and finding out why your Dad never loved you.

Struggle sleeping at night? Took too many Valium to cope and now you can’t feel your own body? Has your sleep paralysis demon taken the form of Miss Take and doing that one dance moveTM at the end of your bed? Good old Aunt Rusty is here to help!

Rusty Kate is Oxford’s premier cum-filled crossdresser, known for turning looks, tricks, and straight men seven nights a week.

She’s decided to take a short break out of her busy schedule of teaching sign language to the blind and braille to the deaf (so they can finally chat to one another) to act as Cherwell’s Dragony Aunt, and help sort out your pathetic little lives one horrendously uncensored column at a time.

Remember to submit your questions through the link on the Cherwell Facebook page or linktr.ee/rustykatedrag – you’re guaranteed complete anonymity. Unless you’re a drag queen writing for the OxStu and stealing Rusty’s brand as THE drag queen journo. Looking at you, Take.

Right, onto the issues that will fuel my next week of Valium-filled wet dreams...

I had the best sex of my life last week but the girl seems to have dropped off the face of the planet. Rusty, should I hire a private investigator?

There are a few red flags here. First of all, how dare you say “girl” – what can she give you that I can’t? I didn’t go backpacking through the streets of Amsterdam’s red lights district, learning tongue techniques for four straight months from the best women in their field, all to be outdone by some “girl”. Fuck the private investigator – the case has gone cold. Just come to Auntie, and all will be sorted. You haven’t seen lusty until you’ve met Rusty.

Dear Rusty, I’ve been sleeping with this guy on and off for over a year. He’s not a great person but the sex is great and I feel like I’ve managed to stop myself getting emotionally attached. But my friends won’t get off my back about it. They keep telling me I should stop sleeping with him but I don’t want to. We’ve had really bad fights about it lately and need validation that I can make my own choice. What should I do? Tell them to butt out?

Sex is sex, babe. He could drown small children in his spare time, but if he had a monster under his fly, I’d let him drown me in his blood-thirsty, murderous juices. Your friends should get off your back – tell them you’re secretly doing it to ruin his life! Keep your friends close, but your enemies inside of you.

Dear Rusty, I’ve gost a ball coming up and I know that the man of my dreams will be there. I want to dress to impress, so what should I wear?

Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize – that’s the key! Wear the ballgag from the start so he knows exactly what the vibe is. Just try not to drool on your dress.

FEATURES

26

Hindi and Urdu: A language divided, or a shared history destroyed?

Krisha Hirani reflects on the linguistic and sociopolitical histories of Hindi and Urdu after a chance encounter in Tesco.

CW: Violence

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was in Tesco last week, looking at the tomatoes. A man to my right commented on the ripeness of the peppers. I made a good-humoured reply – the tomatoes weren’t pakka hua either. He told me my Urdu was good; I told him I was speaking Hindi.

With the regime of Hindutva and the increasing tension between India and Pakistan, it’s now more important than ever to

examine the linguistic history of the two languages that embody one of the largest, bloodiest mass migrations of human history.

Hindustani is a Persian term meaning ‘land of the Indus (river)’. The term was used at certain points in history to refer to all of the Northern Indian subcontinent. It is also the name given to the Hindi-Urdu language. This is a pluri-centric language, meaning a single language of two different standard varieties, that arose from the

Hindustani region. A native speaker will likely separate the two and assert whether they speak Hindi or Urdu based on their national identity; in India and Pakistan, language heavily denotes culture.

Hindustani, or Hindi, or Urdu, is/are (an) Indo-Aryan language(s), descending from Sanskrit and its evolved Prakrit. Yes, the grammar in that sentence is as confused as I am.

Between the 7th and 13th centuries, the subcontinent was ruled heavily by Central Asian Turkish invaders, who brought with them the Persian language, religion, and literary traditions. The Persian language of the elite and the Arabic of religion influenced the lay-person’s Prakrit and Hindustani was born in Delhi.

When the Mughal Empire was established in 1526, uniting most of the subcontinent, Hindustani became the lingua franca. The

“It’s now more important than ever to examine the linguistic history of the two languages that embody one of the largest, bloodiest mass migrations of human history.”

FEATURES degree of influence that Arabic and Persian had over the language varied between local areas. Muslim communities grew to write in the Perso-Arabic script, nastaliq, whilst Hindu communities favoured the devanagari, derived from Sanskrit. By the end of the Mughal rule in the 18th century, Hindustani had replaced Persian amongst the society’s elite.

This was the period in which the literary language flourished, with the emergence of revered writers like Amir Khusrow and Surdas. The Persian variety of Hindustani came to be associated with fine art and literature, and this still holds true in culture today.

When the British colonised India, the language of the East India Company was chosen to be English and Hindustani, of the Persian variety. They gave it the name ‘Zaban-e-Urdu’, the ‘language of the [army] camp’ because it is said to have been created through communication between the Persian soldiers and the native merchants.

When the British made the official script the nastaliq, they established religious and linguistic borders between the population through the Hindi-Urdu controversy of 1867. They enforced this segregation 80 years before establishing the hard country border.

And so, even before the country was split, the tongue was split.

Hindustani, alongside an estimated two million people, became caught in the crossfire of Partition. Nationalist ideologies encouraged linguistic purism, with India’s Hindi purging itself of Perso-Arabic influence and Pakistan’s Urdu purging

“Hindustani, alongside an estimated two million people, became caught in the crossfire of Partition.

Nationalist ideologies encouraged linguistic purism.” itself of Sanskrit (in the standard written form at least).

In 1973, The New York Times wrote about how a ‘Decline of Urdu [is] Feared in India’, recognising the ‘political and religious ties’ of the language to an Islamic Pakistan. The article reported on the politicisation of the language in post-Partition India. It ends on a quote from Professor Anjum stating that the British “resorted to every device that could create a gulf between the Hindus and Muslims”, not even sparing language in their attack.

27 The decrease in the prevalence of Urdu

“The decrease in the prevalence of Urdu persists to this day.

Between 2001 and 2011, Indian census reports show a further decline in Urdu speakers with less than 4.2% claiming it as their mother tongue.” persists to this day. Between 2001 and 2011, Indian census reports show a further decline in Urdu speakers with less than 4.2% claiming it as their mother tongue.

The article from The New York Times fearing a rise in ‘intolerance’, for lack of a better word, still rings true. The Islamophobic shunning of the language is reflective of the political stance India takes towards its Muslim population and neighbours.

It is strange to think that there are fewer and fewer people in the Indian subcontinent who could read and understand the literature that traces India and Pakistan’s shared history. Take for example the Urdu poetry of Bismil Azimabadi, whose Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna (1921) became a war cry for Independence. The poem reflects on the wake of British atrocities, one of the most painful of which was the Jallianwala Bhaga massacre of 1917. During the Jallianwala Bhaga massacre, Colonel Reginald Dyer emptied 1,600 rounds of ammunition into an unarmed congregation.

The poem is an ode to young freedom fighters, often associated with those belonging to the inter-war period, like Ram Prasad Bismil and Bhagat Singh. Indeed, Ram Prasad Bismil sung the poem in the gallows on 19 December 1927, before being hanged for mutiny. It is written as a gazal, a Persian poetic form, and uses heavily Persianized vocabulary, including the phrase ‘shaheed-e-mulk-o-millat’ to praise the country as a ‘nation of martyrs’.

I could not understand it without a translation.

I wonder whether India’s government, with its growing intolerance, would still claim it as a patriotic poem.

This said, it should be noted that language does not immediately correspond to religion. Not all Muslims in the subcontinent speak Urdu. Not all Hindus speak Hindi. But the variations of the language that is spoken does suggest the cultural and religious identity of the speaker. An

Urdu speaker would identify more greatly with Islamic and Persian heritage and literary traditions than the Hindu Sanskrit traditions of Hindi.

Urdu is not the Pakistani language, nor is Hindi the Indian. Urdu and English are the official languages of Pakistan, but only 8% of the population claim to be native speakers of Urdu. In fact, Punjabi is much more widely spoken across the country. Hindi and English are the official languages of India, but each state and union territory is free to choose their own official language; eight have chosen Urdu.

What I hope to bring to the forefront here — and what I’ve been thinking about since meeting that man in Tesco — is how much Hindi and Urdu appear to me as conjoined twins. Neither would exist without this incredible fusion of Persian, Arabic, and Sanskrit. Both languages exist in a spectrum with the ‘shudh’ (pure) Hindi and Urdu existing on the extreme ends, and the colloquial in the mutually intelligible centre. They have the same beating heart.

To separate the twins would be a major surgical operation, through which both countries would lose an incredible amount of their shared history.

In terms of script, what haunts me is that

“What I hope to bring to the forefront here — and what I’ve been thinking about since meeting that man in Tesco — is how much Hindi and Urdu appear to me as conjoined twins. Both languages exist in a spectrum.” the middle ground might be the English transliteration. This would be one way that the Urdu and Hindi literate, with their different scripts, could communicate by the written word. Maybe even language cannot heal from colonial trauma.

I hope to meet that man again in Tesco.

Maybe we will talk about the ripeness of the tomatoes and peppers again, but I know for sure that I will think twice about being so quick to assert my Hindi linguistic identity, as though it proves my Indian cultural identity.

Artwork by Ben Beechener.

Image Credit: Vinayaraj / CC BY-SA 3.0

Timeline of the partition 1600: The East India Company was founded.

1857: The Indian army rebelled against the British authorities.

1858: India came under direct British rule, creating the British Raj. 1885: The Indian National Congress was founded, giving expression to rising nationalist sentiment.

1906: The Muslim League was founded by Indian Muslim separatists, and gradually tension developed between the Congress and the Muslim League.

1933: The name “Pakstan” (as yet without an “i”) was created as a name for a hypothetical separate Muslim country. The name means “land of the pure” in Urdu and also functions as an acronym, with “P” standing for Punjab, “A” for the Afghanis from the northwest, “K” for Kashmir, “S” for “Sind”, and “tan” for Baluchistan.

1940: The Muslim League backed the idea of partition to create a separate country for India’s Muslims.

1942: The Quit India movement was created by the Congress, but the British government declared it unlawful and arrested Mahatma Gandhi alongside other nationalist leaders, sparking protests.

1947: Lord Louis Mountbatten arrived in India as the last British viceroy, with the agenda of facilitating British withdrawal, since separatist clashes had made continued British occupation unsustainable. He announced a plan for partition which was endorsed by both the Muslim League and the Indian National Congress, and following the hasty drawing up of a border line

by British judge Cyril Radcliffe, Pakistan became an independent country.

However, only a couple of months later, India and Pakistan went to war after Pakistan supported a Muslim insurgency in Kashmir.

1949: The war ended and a ceasefire line was created.

1965: India and Pakistan went to war again, after Pakistan launched an offensive across the ceasefire line.

1971: Pakistan experienced civil war, with a Bengali uprising taking place in the eastern part of its territory. Ultimately, Bengali nationalist leaders proclaimed a new independent country, Bangladesh.

1989: Kashmir armed resistance to Indian rule broke out, and India accused Pakistan of supplying weapons to the Kashmiri fighters.

1998: Both India and Pakistan conducted nuclear tests, prompting the US and multiple European countries to proclaim sanctions against them in fear of a nuclear war.

1999: Another brief conflict took place when India launched air strikes against forces backed by Pakistan in Kashmir.

2001: A military standoff between the two countries began, lasting until the next year.

2008: Attacks by ten Pakistani terrorists in Mumbai resulted in 173 deaths and 308 casualties. Indian officials demanded the extradition of suspects from Pakistan for trial and accused Pakistani officials of colluding with the terrorists.

Compiled by Leah Mitchell

28

Profiles

In Conversation with Perez Hilton what a lot of people were thinking. That and hehurt? The irreparable damage he did? many others were unnecessarily cruel and I “I don’t necessarily think that apologising William Foxton interviews Perez Hilton on the price of fame, was being purposefully hurtful. This is why is enough,” he says candidly.

I don’t believe in a redemption arc for Perez “I will apologise sincerely if I believe I did shame, and blame.

Hilton.” something wrong and when I don’t, I won’t “I knew at the time what I was doing was apologise for it. I’m not sorry for everything I erez Hilton is saying sorry.

“That never interested me,” Perez tells me. wrong and I didn’t care. I did it anyway because did,” he continues.

17 years since the rise and fall of Instead he drew from the British tabloid I was being rewarded for bad behaviour. Like What isn’t he sorry for? his controversial blog, this near- model, known for its bite. you see now with Jake Paul or Logan Paul.

“I’m not sorry for creating something out of universally loathed gossipmonger “The British press can [be], and often is, They’ve both been cancelled numerous times, nothing,” he replies, “Nothing was ever given turned businessman and doting father of three extremely vicious,” he tells me, “I’m sure but in 2021 Jake and Logan Paul are bigger to me.” is now offering a heartfelt apology to those he Meghan Markle would agree. Or Caroline than ever, making more money than ever, Perez also remains unrepentant for a recent believes he has hurt.

Flack.” and being rewarded for their continuous bad TikTok scandal he’s been embroiled in. Perez But are we ready to According to Perez’s behaviour. It’s as if I created the blueprint for was banned from the platform in December of forgive him? And does vision, celebrities Paul brothers,” he says. last year, after a comment he left on a video he care if we don’t?

“It’s a constant struggle. weren’t just like us. thePerez likens his obsessive reporting to an TikTok star Charli D’Amelio had posted. In There was a time They were much worse. addiction, previously stating in an interview the video, D’Amelio, 15, is shown dancing in I absolutely sometimes when this once And so whenever for BBC HARDtalk in November 2020, that “I a bikini to a remix of Brockhampton’s Sugar. significant contributor there was a celebrity was a full blown addict. And while my drug of Perez met with backlash from D’Amelio’s to the cultural lapse back into old Perez.” slip-up or an infamous choice was not drugs or alcohol, I was fully and extensive fanbase, after questioning whether conversation was fall from grace, Perez severely addicted to attention.” the dance was appropriate, given the sexually everywhere, fanning was there, ready with a It’s an addiction his followers shared. “When explicit nature of the lyrics. the flames of celebrity discourse wherever salacious headline and a scathing take.

Brittney Spears was at her wildest, people were “I’m not sorry about that. At all,” he says he went. Some loved his ‘tell-all’ approach to It was this radical choice of content that glued to my website” he writes in his 2020 when I bring the incident up, “because I was celebrity gossip. Most despised his vitriolic made Perez a household name, at least memoir. This was a two-way relationship. not slut shaming anybody. I was not body take-down of those in the limelight. Everyone among the celebrity obsessed. His notoriety Perez Hilton didn’t exist in a vacuum. Even shaming anybody. I was not even trolling.” knew his name. skyrocketed in 2007, which he terms “the Year now, as I read his old posts, I can’t help but “Me asking [if it was appropriate] is not Perez Hilton, or Mario Armando Lavandeira of the Girl Gone Wild.” The year of Brittney feel compelled by the narratives he constructs. inappropriate. Me asking that is not bullying.

Jr as he was known before taking on his Spears’ breakdown, Lindsay Lohan and Paris There’s something very clickable about his A year and a half later, I think perhaps what I infamous alter ego, helped to usher in a new Hilton’s very public court dramas, the release portrayal of celebrities on the verge of a public should have done differently is directed that age of celebrity gossip. In doing so he became of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape, 2007 was a breakdown. question at her parents, one of the most hated men in the world. gossip’s dream.

Why does he think like ‘is it appropriate “Nobody was doing what I ended up doing,” The chaos that ensued in Hollywood, we found his content so “I’m not trying to erase my that her parents haven’t Perez tells me at the beginning of our call, paired with Perez’s biting commentary, was irresistible? deleted this yet?’”, he “the celebrity magazines back in 2004 would a winning combination. Perez made celebrity “Because it makes past. I’m not pretending it says. just use their websites as a landing page to get gossip enticing. And addictive. your life seem D’Amelio’s fans people to sign up for subscriptions to the print “I pandered to people’s basest instincts, didn’t happen.” wonderfully boring,” he retaliated. Some made edition. They wouldn’t break news on their their DNA,” he tells me, “Most everybody I tells me, “everybody’s life videos attacking Perez. sites.” know, if they’re driving their car and they see a is messed up. Like I said, Perez’s provocative Perez revolutionised the model, creating car crash, they’re going to slow down and look nobody is perfect. But when you are reading response to one such video, commenting “all a blog that allowed him to break news in and see what happened. That’s just who we are these wild, shocking stories, regardless of these videos are getting me hard”, came under real time. At the press of a button he could as human beings. We’re curious people.” whatever drama you have, you might say… fire. The creator of the video was a minor. report the latest celebrity scandal, offer up his In the heyday of his online empire, Perez well, at least I’m not so and so or at least I’m “I don’t regret that either. A, I didn’t know opinion on the most recent faux pas or fashion controlled the narrative of Hollywood. The not that person ....” that girl was a minor. B, that person had made mishap. heroes and the villains, the victims and the There’s a certain hypocrisy, Perez notes, in multiple videos attacking me. So instead of The way he spoke about celebrities also vixens, the crazies and the Brittneys, he was the way we respond to celebrity gossip. responding with hate, I responded in a dumb, differed from his contemporaries. He recalls a ruthless. Nobody was left unscathed.

“Let’s say there’s an Adele phone hack and shocking way. I thought it was better than time when celebrity discourse centred around His early blog posts are difficult to read photos or sex videos of her leaked. A lot, if saying something negative to this person who their relatability. Magazines like US Weekly, now. There’s a scathing 2009 post about Lily not the majority, of people online are going had made so many videos hardcore attacking led by pioneering figures such as Bonnie Allen. The title reads Lily Allen + Motherhood to be looking it up to try to see that,” he tells me.”

Fuller, would post photos of celebrities taking = Disaster!!!, accompanied by an image of the me, “and even some of the people that might I can understand the sentiment, though I out the trash. The overriding message was singer, cigarette in hand. Perez has drawn a secretly look it up, publicly, they will criticise question whether it’s ever wise to cause such that these people were just like us. coughing baby onto Allen’s stomach. In the any outlet for publishing it and criticise any outrage for the sake of it. final line, he asks “Can’t person for viewing that content.”

“I have nothing to lose or nothing to win,” you stick to intoxication Perez reached a turning point in 2010 he tells me, “In the minds of people, they view instead of moving following an altercation with the manager me a certain way, that’s how they will always on to procreation?” of the Black Eyed Peas, Polo Molina. Molina see me and, like I said, I still make mistakes.

Jennifer Anniston is punched Perez, after he used a homophobic Everybody makes mistakes.” frequently referred to slur against will.i.am. Documenting the But isn’t the usual response to at least as “MANiston”, with incident in his memoir, Perez writes: “‘I need feign some sense of shame in the face of cruel remarks about to make some changes,’ I said to myself. I cancellation? her appearance and really meant it.” After years of online cruelty, “Here’s what makes me different,” he relationship status.

Perez’s reign of terror had finally come to an interrupts, “Most celebrities that are getting Most of his targets were end. hate will ignore it. I always engage. If you go women.

It would be remiss to claim Perez has been to my Twitter today, and you scroll down, and Spears was a incident-free in the years following. Though yesterday as well, you’ll see I retweet the hate. particular favourite. he maintains any mistakes he makes nowadays I was doing the same thing on TikTok. I engage Unflattering paparazzi do not have the same malice behind them. because I know that doing that will get even photos of the singer “Since 2010, I have made mistakes, but it’s more attention.” are plastered across never been my intention. My thought process So he’s fine playing the villain in the eyes of the blog. One caption has never been…I want to say something his critics? reads: “this mess is still really bad about so and so. Or do something His response is characteristically in self-destruct mode.” really terrible to get a reaction out of them provocative. “I never said I was fine with it, but Another shows an or the public. Back to the addiction issue, it’s I will continue to play that part until I don’t image of Heath Ledger, a constant struggle. I absolutely sometimes have to anymore. I don’t have ‘FU’ (“Fuck posted shortly after lapse back into old Perez.

You”) money in the bank.”

I should probably sit and Perez is committed to staying in vogue.

“I carry not just regret but think about things more And, for the large part, he has. While many of often but this does not the names associated with him have faded into deep shame.” excuse my behaviour,” he obscurity, his has endured. This is, he claims, tells me. due to his self-professed “unhealthy work Speaking to Perez, ethic”. Recalling an earlier comment about the the impression he gives is one of genuine Paul brothers, I can’t help but feel as though his death. The caption repentance. He speaks openly about his past there might be something else at play. Perez reads: “why couldn’t it mistakes and takes accountability for them. has gone to lengths to apologise for his past; be Brittney?”

“I’m not trying to erase my past. I’m not the question of forgiveness is another matter.

In the wake of pretending it didn’t happen. For me, I think “I don’t even need to be forgiven because I the #FreeBrittney that shows how awful I was back then. And still have a career, and I’m still making money, movement and a rethat’s who I’m not anymore,” he says. and I’m still chatting with you right now,” he evaluation of the way “I carry not just regret,” he tells me, “but tells me, “Whether people like it or not, Perez we treat those in the also deep shame.” is forever. I’m not going anywhere.” public eye, how does he He can understand why people find it To be forgiven is to be forgotten. Perez isn’t feel about the words he difficult to believe his remorse, but this won’t ready to let that happen. And, with our wrote? stop him from apologising. commitment to cancelling him, our collective He pauses for “That is one of the many things that I outrage at every scandal he embroils himself a moment, before can and do to try and clean my karma of the in, and our morbid curiosity to see what comes tentatively saying, “I past and of the present because I still make next, neither, perhaps, are we. think that is clearly mistakes,” he tells me. lacking in compassion.

But what does this mean for the people Image Credit: Sarah Orbanic At the time I was saying

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COLUMNS

29

Douze Points

acts who didn’t even make it to the Eurovision stage, especially those in 2021. Unfortunately we will never know if they were destined for musical greatness, or if audiences at home would have been leaving to put the kettle on.

Whilst for most casual fans of the contest Eurovision is merely a three-hour affair, those who are more invested will follow it for weeks and even months; watching national selections and pre-contest parties. Because of this there is usually a pretty good indication of who will do well before rehearsals even begin. And in 2017 the favourite going into the contest was Italy, represented by Francesco Gabbani with the song ‘Occidentali’s Karma’ (Westerner’s Karma).

It’s easy to understand Italy’s popularity in this contest and why it was expected by many to do well. The song itself was a criticism of Josh McGrane (he/him) materialist lifestyle and the attempted westernisation of aspects of other cultures, with on Eurovision’s biggest references to Buddhism in the song’s chorus. disappointments.

The staging as well was simple and effective, whilst also cohesively working with the song. ccording to the famous ABBA And who wouldn’t find a dancing gorilla song, the winner takes it all. Yet memorable? as the undoubtedly most famous However it was not to be for Gabbani, and act to have won Eurovision, it’s no he had to settle with a respectable sixthwonder they’d sing about winning. Whilst place, with Portugal ultimately winning with the Eurovision Song Contest has its fair share the stunningly beautiful Amar Pelos Dois; of incredible winners, incidentally this was Pormany of the competing tugal’s first victory. On “There is usually a stage Gabbani’s perforsongs seem destined to mance seemed somewhat be forgotten once the credits start rolling. pretty good indication of empty, and the dancing But what about, spewho will do well before gorilla was more cliched cifically, those songs than entertaining.

Moving forward a few that were expected to rehearsals even begin. ” do something special years, in 2019 Tamara Todevska’s song Proud and then didn’t? Here are some of the songs gave North Macedonia that for one reason or another didn’t have it’s best ever result - seventh place. This might that special moment on the big night.A seem a slightly odd inclusion in this list, but special mention needs to be given to all those stay with me on this one. Tamara went into

Disappointments

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Observing Oxford Pret

Kaya Gadhia (she/her) describes how academic work prevents us from being present - and heads to Pret to prove it.

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will preface this article with an acknowledgement of the fact that the staff of Pret-A-Manger on Cornmarket Street have probably seen me at my lowest of lows, and for that I can only apologise. In fact, the frequency with which I visit Pret - to the extent that I often find my tired, hungover, or delirious body walking there on autopilot as a weird sort of stress response - is what provoked me to write this column. I know I am not the only one who has naively fallen into the off-red and white chokehold of a Pret subscription, and I am not ashamed. As a student body we have become blinded by the promise of five free coffees a day, or the temptation of a lukewarm and consistently just little-bit-toostale, almond croissant.

The liminality of Pret, specifically Cornmarket Pret, with its lopsided floors, uneven tables and illogical seating arrangement holds

a sentimental place in my heart. It is a hangout spot for every state of being. In the many hours I’ve spent and probably wasted there attempting to work but instead people watching, I’ve noticed a perfect balance between people who have their act together, directly offset by people who very much don’t. From potential couples awkwardly sharing a post-coital pain au chocolat only to go their separate ways and ignore each other on the street for the rest of their degree, to bleary eyed students at the end of an all-nighter, dry heaving into their caramel macchiatos, Pret is a place for everyone.

And it is probably the best snapshot of student life at Oxford I can think of.

In fact, I remember one occasion in Trinity of my first year, settling down to revise for my Prelims, only to find myself sat next to one of the most cliched and textbook break-ups I’ve ever seen. The pained words ‘Its’s not you, it’s me’, ‘I just value our friendship too much’ and ‘I just can’t commit to anything long term right now’ rung through the upper seating area. This ordeal was made infinitely better by the fact that it was literally 9 am on a Tuesday morning, and the (now ex) couple were very clearly in their clothes from the night before. I didn’t question it at the time, but now I wonder – why choose to break up with your girlfriend in Pret? And Cornmarket Pret of all places.

Taking this episode as inspiration, I decided to conduct my own social experiment. As will be the case for the next three instalments of this column, albeit in different locations, I planned to camp out in Pret for the day, and simply write about what I saw. On a selfish level I wanted to find a justification for the amount of time I have spent there, overheating and overcaffeinated. But it would also inspire a point of reflection. As students we spend the majority of our time chained to our books, deadlines, and essays that we often fail to look up and observe what is going on around us. It would almost feel like a luxury to actively take the time to step back from my own academic world, be present, and observe.

Of course, my intentions were fool proof,

the contest sitting at fifteenth place in the odds. However, she quickly impressed with a moving performance of female empowerment, delivered with truly impressive vocals. Once the voting started, it began looking like a three horse race between North Macedonia, Sweden and The Netherlands.

In the end, it was The Netherlands who won overall, but Sweden topped the jury voting on the night, with North Macedonia only a few points behind. Or so it seemed. It was not until after the contest that it came out the Belarussian jury had incorrectly calculated their points, and that North Macedonia should’ve won the jury. Whilst this didn’t have too much of an impact on the overall results, it did rob Tamara the joy of realising she had been the jury’s favourite on the night, a truly wellearned accolade.

The 2021 contest witnessed not one, but two surprisingly disappointing results in both San Marino and Croatia. Perhaps the former of these was the most surprising. It’s safe to say that I, alongside many others, were unbelievably surprised to discover that the microstate had managed to get Flo Rida to feature on their act. Unsurprisingly this led to them racing up the odds, and many were anticipating that Senhit and Flo Rida would give San Marino it’s best ever result with their song Adrenalina.

I can distinctly remember watching the contest and just before the hosts gave San Marino its points from the televote, turning to my friends and telling them to expect a huge score. It turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong, as San Marino received a meagre 13 points from the viewers at home. We were astounded. To this day I’m not sure how this song was so poorly received. One particularly farfetched theory that I heard was that the viewers at home believed that the Sammarinese act was actually the interval due to both them performing last and the presence of Flo Rida. I’m not quite sure whether this is true.

If I had to take a guess, the reason for San Marino’s poor performance was probably just due to its rather chaotic staging, and maybe the song just didn’t connect with viewers at home.

Finally, we have Croatia who in 2021 was represented by Albina with the very aptly named song Tick-Tock. For a song with a name so relevant and current, you would have anticipated it would do well. Both the juries and televoters from semi-final one certainly thought so and wanted to see it in the final. Yet due to the intricacies of the voting system, Croatia did not find itself being one of the ten countries qualifying for the final. Whilst Tick-Tock was by no means one of my favourite songs in the contest, it nevertheless was incredibly disappointing for such a catchy and enjoyable song with a stylish staging to miss out on the final in such a way.

At the end of the day, Eurovision is a contest and there inevitably will be acts who don’t perform as well as some were expecting. However this is part of the entertainment; if the results were consistently as expected, would millions really be tuning in to watch?

Image Credit: Sietske / CC BY-SA 4.0

however I slept through my alarm this morn- In my entire year and a half as a student here, I ing, and everything fell apart. have yet to pay for a Pret coffee, and I never Shuffling past a sea of college puffer jackets intend to. Faced with the sad reality that there at 10:30 holding £4 plastic pots of mango are no more people I can persuade to give me cubes, sandwiches drowning in mayonnaise, their free trial, I am lost. Of course, it is better and unacceptably milky for my health, and the porridge, I made my stability of my heart “The liminality of Pret, way upstairs. As I was rate to reduce my cafembarrassingly late for specifically Cornmarket feine intake, but part of Pret standards, there me will miss showing was only one desk up to a tutorial, wired Pret, with its lopsided available, and I soon to the point of shaking floors, uneven tables found out why. Oat milk by a poor quality black mocha in one hand, my americano. From study and illogical seating pride and ego resting dates, to break ups, to in the other, I settled Union hack coffees, arrangement holds a down to work only to Cornmarket Pret is a sentimental place in my place for everyone. Its realise that the reason the table was unoccharming wonkiness heart. ” cupied was because it welcomes you into its was broken, and it imopen arms when you mediately lost balance and crashed sideways need it the most, and for that we can only say onto the floor. thank you.

Judging by the reaction (read: smug smiles), of those around me I knew I was not the first Image Credit: Palickap / CC BY-SA 4.0 to make that mistake, but it did initiate a head-hanging walk of shame straight down the stairs and all the way back to the safety of college. I would have attempted to return that afternoon, but I knew I had already seen enough, and the customers had probably already seen enough of me. There might be a life lesson in this, as not a single student told me about the desk induced peril I was about to endure, but I think that might be too cynical.

Instead, I would encourage you to look up from time to time and observe what is going on around you as you might find humour in it, even if it is at my expense.

Although I have suffered many times at the hand of a lack of ice in the summer, or the fact that big Pret doesn’t make smoothies out of principle, which I will never understand, I have certainly saved money. With gratitude to my uni friends and every member of my immediate family bar two or three non-communicative cousins I have rinsed them of their free trials.

SPORT

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New stadium for Oxford United Sam Day reports on Oxford’s new stadium plans.

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fter inevitably leaking on social media the day before, Oxford United Football Club released a statement last Monday which finally outlined long-awaited plans for a proposed move to a new ground, with the League One team hoping to complete their relocation in time for the beginning of the 2026-27 season.

If final approval is received, a new sporting complex will be built across 45 acres of land on the present site of Stratfield Brake sports ground, located just to the north of the Oxford ring road on the southern fringes of Kidlington. In addition to a modern, technologically-advanced 18,000 seater stadium, which would be by far the largest such facility in Oxfordshire, an illustrative masterplan published concurrently by Oxfordshire County Council reveals plans for adjacent conference, restaurant, and hotel facilities, as well as the possible construction of a new ice rink, which may function jointly as a large-capacity indoor arena.

As with almost every major construction project in the football world, the planning phase is likely to be characterised by complaints, controversy, and aggravation.

After two decades of searching and two failed relocation attempts, Premier League club Everton are at last building a modern stadium on the Merseyside waterfront to replace the aging Goodison Park, but have simultaneously contributed to the loss of Liverpool’s UNESCO World Heritage status in the process. Similarly, in the lower-leagues, the likes of Darlington, Barnet, and York City have all suffered drama, delay, and ultimately a fair dose of dejection in their pursuit of new stadia over recent years, despite plans originally being greeted with much fanfare and optimism. Given this, why do Oxford United feel the need to relocate? And perhaps more importantly, do the benefits of moving outweigh the potential drawbacks?

To understand the situation that Oxford United currently find themselves in, it is necessary to sketch out a brief history of the football club. Founded in 1893 by clergymen of St Andrew’s Church in Headington, the

Upcoming Oxford fixtures

Oxford Women’s Hockey play against Nottingham on 26 January as they continue their Premier League campaign Town vs Gown Boxing at the Oxford Union on Friday 21st January Town vs Gown Basketball: Men’s Blues play Oxford City Hoops on Saturday 22nd January

U’s have spent the majority of their existence playing under their original moniker: Headington United. Only in 1960 was their name was changed to its present form in an effort to raise the profile of the club, as part of a successful attempt to gain Football League membership via the archaic re-election process. These Headington roots are reflected in the location of United’s spiritual home, the Manor Ground, which stood for more than 75 years on a site between Sandfield Road and Osler Road in the heart of the East Oxford suburb. For anyone unsure of their Oxford

“The recent decision to leave the Kassam is a sensible one for most involved.” geography, this is next door to John Radcliffe Hospital and just over the London Road from the Headington Shark. Despite considerable on-field success during their first two decades as a Football League team, by 1982, the now Third Division club found itself heavily in debt and on the verge of bankruptcy. Fortunately however, salvation arrived in the form of Robert Maxwell, Oxford’s very own multimillionnaire business tycoon and publishing boss, who famously lived and worked in the palatial Headington Hill Hall. Maxwell was the father of the now notorious Ghislaine, who was herself installed as a club director whilst studying at Balliol aged just 22, and who still retains shares in OUFC to this day.

Almost immediately after taking ownership of the club, Maxwell recognised the limitations of the old Manor Ground, which, despite its great charm and character, resembled little more than a ramshackle collection of stands, terraces, and scaffolding, bolted together like some sort of architectural Frankenstein’s monster.

Nevertheless, intense fan-pressure scuppered his ill-advised proposal of a merger with local rivals Reading FC to create the Thames Valley Royals, which in turn prevented the realisation of plans for a new stadium in Didcot for this hybrid team. Instead, with Maxwell’s millions behind them, the “still-in-Oxford” Oxford United flew up the leagues during the mid-80s, and eventually spent three years in the First Division (equivalent to today’s Premier League) during a golden era capped by victory over Queen’s Park Rangers in the 1986 Milk Cup final at Wembley. Sadly for Yellows supporters, these glory days couldn’t last forever, and after relegation back to the second Division in 1988, the future of the club was again plunged into doubt upon the mysterious and unexplained death of Maxwell – reputedly an MI6 and Mossad spy – in 1991 after a late-night fall into the Atlantic from his super-yacht Lady Ghislaine, moored off the Canary Islands.

Investigations after his death soon uncovered that Maxwell’s business empire had itself been racking up humongous debts. Scandalously, the late football club owner had only prevented its collapse by thieving hundreds of millions of pounds from the pension funds of his employees at the Daily Mirror. Oxford United were subsequently declared insolvent in the aftermath of this affair, and remained in financial dire straits throughout the 90s until their takeover by London hotelier Firoz Kassam in 1999.

Many of the problems associated with

the presentday Kassam Stadium – and ultimately the proposed move to Kidlington – can be traced back to its namesake, who finally oversaw a move away from the half-derelict Manor Ground in 2001. Kassam’s chief motivation for owning Oxford United appeared to be greed, as the hugely-valuable land owned by the club in Headington was almost immediately sold to a healthcare company for £12 million – double the amount Kassam had paid for the stadium the year before. The old site is now occupied by the private Manor Hospital.

To replace the Manor Ground, the Yellows started playing at Kassam’s new stadium in Blackbird Leys, on the south-eastern edge of the city. However, from the very beginning it was clear that this was not a match made in heaven. After first overcoming a supposed “gypsy curse” placed on the team by an aggrieved traveller who had been evicted from the site to make way for construction vehicles, it quickly became clear that the new owner had under-invested in the construction and maintenance of the new ground. If anyone reading this has ever had the misfortune of visiting the Kassam (perhaps for your Covid vaccination, or for a JCR committee team building trip to the escape rooms next door – cheers Brasenose!) this should have been immediately obvious. Most glaring is the complete absence of a fourth stand behind the western goal, the result of Kassam’s money drying up as Oxford tumbled out of the Football League in the mid 2000s. Ironically, this cruel omission leaves the Yellows with a uniquely three-sided stadium, despite representing a city famous worldwide for its quads.

Regardless, if one can put aside thoughts of the pitiful western fence for a moment, various other aspects of the Kassam are far from ideal. First, the three stands that do exist were built out of cheap, concrete breeze blocks, and retain a kind of brutalist feel, particularly from the inside. Consequently, the place lacks a great deal of character and atmosphere. Furthermore, the Kassam is inconveniently located about 300 yards away from the Oxford Sewage Treatment Works, which brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “crap game of football” when the wind blows in the wrong direction. However, perhaps worst of all is the financial situation, as Kassam still owns the stadium, despite relinquishing ownership of the football club in 2006. For the privilege of playing their 23 home matches per season at this soulless arena, Kassam charges the club’s current owners approximately £1 million a year, a substantial money drain that severely hampers the club’s potential for development on and off the field.

To make matters worse, until this season the club made no money from food and beverages sold inside the stadium on matchdays, which represented a considerable loss of income, particularly given the severe lack of places to eat and drink nearby.

The decision to move away from Blackbird Leys is made even more palatable to many stakeholders by potential plans in store for the Kassam site after the football club vacate it. Firoz Kassam’s seemingly spiteful decision to rent out his stadium to OUFC at extortionate rates is somewhat borne out of understandable frustration, as this land is ripe for property development. Once the

football team head elsewhere, it is widely hypothesised that Kassam will sell the land to construction companies for a large profit, enabling the building of potentially hundreds of houses on a new brownfield site. The same fate befell the White House Ground, home to Oxford City FC until 1988, which was also sold to developers by landlord Brasenose College after they evicted the city’s second club from their quaint old premises, which were formerly located behind the White House pub on the Abingdon Road. This therefore is a win-win situation for both Kassam and the County Council, who are currently struggling to deal with perhaps the worst housing crisis in the UK. A 2015 study led by University of Oxford professor Danny Dowling found that the average house price in the City of Dreaming Spires was 16 times higher than the local average wage, a ratio larger even than London. This property price squeeze is the inevitable consequence of limited housing stock in a city whose population is quickly expanding. In 2011, Oxford City Council predicted that at least 24,000 new homes were needed by 2031 in order to tackle this growing issue, however, property developers are increasingly hamstrung by the greenbelt which strangles Oxford, preventing construction on most green space outside of the ring road. Consequently, the potential emergence of a large brownfield site on the edge of the city would be a desirable outcome for both the city and county councils.

Finally, if you contrast my previous description of the Kassam with the blueprints for a new venue at Stratfield Brake, the decision to move becomes even more obvious. Populous, the American architectural firm chosen to carry out the construction, have a strong reputation for building impressive new stadia of comparable size, including Minnesota United’s stunning Allianz Field which opened in 2019 after less than 30 months of building work. This venue includes a safe-standing terrace, steep intimidating stands with potential for expansion, and even its own onsite brewery-cum-pub. Another opportunity arises with the possible construction of a modern ice rink/indoor arena next door to the stadium. Although Oxford United have acknowledged that these are only “indicative plans” that have not been officially submitted, relocating the current ice rink from its present site on Oxpens Road would solve a big headache for the city council, who have earmarked the undeniably miserable Oxpens area (another victim of post-war town planning decisions) for a major £1.5 billion overhaul over the next 15 years. In addition, a large indoor events centre on the new site is likely to be greeted enthusiastically by university bosses, who have long desired a similar such venue to host conferences and other flagship events. Put together, this range of factors suggests that the recent decision to leave the Kassam is a sensible one for most involved.

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Richard Rogerson/ CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons.

SPORT

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The magic of the FA Cup? Oliver Hall reviews a weekend of fixtures that show the magic of the cup is still very much alive.

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here’s been a lot of talk about the FA Cup over the past few years. A rise in squad rotation from top teams and declining attendances at the highest level have led to many questioning whether the world’s oldest tournament has lost its magic. Any doubters need look no further than last weekend’s third round results to see that the magic of the cup is very much still alive.

For the last 150 years the fabled trophy has been lifted above the heads of the eventual winners at grounds across the UK from the Kennington Oval, to Crystal Palace, Old Trafford, the Millennium Stadium and of course both the old and new Wembley’s.

Those historic moments of glory will always be remembered and make the headlines come the end of the season but the glitz and glamour of cup final day are just one part of what makes this competition so special and so unique.

Many fans are simply unaware of the scale of the competition. For most, it begins on the fantastic spectacle that is third round weekend in January when clubs from the top two divisions enter the hat. For the vast majority of sides though, the long slog to Wembley begins right back in August. 736 sides enter the hat and there are six preliminary and qualifying

“The romance is key to the importance of the cup but tryly what makes it so vital is the financial windfall that it bring.” rounds to navigate before a club even makes it to the ‘First Round Proper’. Most never will but there is an undeniable magic to the fact that a game involving two non-league clubs at your local football ground in early August is a part of the same competition that culminates in front of 80 000 at one of football’s greatest grounds in May. The romance is key to the importance of the cup but truly what makes it so vital is the financial windfall that it brings to clubs away

from the top end of the footballing pyramid.

Now more than ever lower league and nonleague sides are in financial distress across the country, reeling from the wrecking-ball of the COVID-19 pandemic. Without the TV deals of the top divisions to fall back on and with little to no governmental support, the cancellation of seasons and lack of gate receipts risked decimating the grassroots game.

One cup run can change all that. One cup run and one televised game can transform the fortunes of a non-league side for years to come. Aside from TV deals, a third-round win is worth £86 000. That might be peanuts to Premier League giants but for a side like Kidderminster Town who triumphed over Reading last week it is game-changing. The £160 000 they have already earnt from the competition this season opens up a world of possibilities from new training pitches, to changing room refurbs, to physio tables and a new bar. Plymouth Argyle’s trip to Stamford Bridge alone in the Fourth Round will earn them £1 million.

Whilst top clubs are rotating squads and complaining about cuts in prize money, those at the other end of the pyramid are desperate to take whatever help they can get.

This year, after last season’s third round was played out behind closed doors, felt like a return to the old days and yet again served up countless historic upsets. It all kicked off on Saturday afternoon with the three-o’clock kick-offs. Kidderminster Town of the sixth tier served up perhaps the biggest shock of the day when they stunned Championship side Reading with a 2-1 comeback win. This was eclipsed only by the stunning result at St. James Park where the world’s richest club paraded their new star signing Kieran Trippier and a full-strength side only to fall to a 1-0 defeat at the hands of League One strugglers Cambridge United. Elsewhere non-league’s Boreham Wood comfortably beat AFC Wimbledon 2-0, League Two Hartlepool swept aside Championship Blackpool and Nottingham Forest strode to a famous 1-0 win over Mikel Arteta’s Arsenal under the Sunday night lights at the City Ground.

These results might be forgotten in a couple of weeks by the casual Premier League fan but for those involved the memories will be timeless and for the average non-league player who has to work several jobs just to pay the bills, the chance to play in front of tens of thousands at a Premier League ground is once-in-a-lifetime.

So, next time you find yourself lamenting the fixture congestion crisis facing your favourite team as it tries to juggle five competitions at once just remind yourself which one was there first and why its magic very much lives on.

Image: Dave Gunn/ CC BY-NC 2.0 via Flickr

Oli Hall’s Oxford United Updates

Club Update It’s been a rollercoaster week for Oxford United. It started off with the incredibly exciting news of plans for a new stadium but ended with a disappointing defeat for the men’s side away to Wycombe Wanderers that saw them fall out of the play-off places. Elsewhere, the women’s side triumphed against Cardiff City.

On Monday the club published a statement on their website that provided the longawaited news about the U’s future home.

Fans’ patience has been rewarded with exciting plans for a club 18,000-seater stadium near Oxford Parkway complete with other facilities for the local community such as an ice ring and conference facilities.

Off the back of the news the away end was sold-out and in fine voice in Wycombe on Saturday. Unfortunately, though United couldn’t capitalise on the chance to pick up some huge points over their rivals and sunk

to a 2-0 defeat that saw the home side leapfrog Sunderland and Rotherham to go top of the table in League One. It was over to the women on Sunday as they welcomed Cardiff City Ladies to the Velocity Stadium. The U’s maintained their 100% home record so far this season with a sensational 2-0 win. A Beth Lumsden brace with goals in each half saw a dominant Oxford maintain their promotion push and move within six points off Ipswich Town at the top of the table.

The men’s side will look forward to a huge clash against Sheffield Wednesday at home on Saturday. A win could see them back up into the play-off places and put some key distance between themselves and their rivals.

The women’s side will look to continue their sensational form when they welcome a struggling Chichester and Selsey.

Wycombe Wanderers 2-0 Oxford United Oxford United are still searching for their first league win of the year after sinking to a second consecutive league defeat for the first time this season at Adams Park.

After last week’s defeat the U’s fans were in fine voice at a sold-out away end in Wycombe, bouncing off the back of this week’s stadium news and happy in the knowledge that a win could lift them up the table. It wasn’t to be though for Karl Robinson’s men as goals either side of half-time from Curtis Thompson and Brandon Hanlan saw the Wanderers into the top spot in League One. Things started brightly for Oxford, and they had the first big chance of the game. Ryan Williams cut back beautifully to Nathan Holland, but the resulting effort was brilliantly cleared off the line by Ryan Tafazolli and Wycombe kicked on from there.

The breakthrough came on 33 minutes

when Simon Eastwood couldn’t claim the ball from a Wycombe set piece. The ball in was cleared away only as far as Thompson who calmly finished into the far corner from the edge of the box.

United did improve after the break and came back into it with chances for McCleary and Moore before Wycombe put the nail in the coffin on the hour mark. The home side reacted on the counter after Mark Sykes was denied and Hanlan found himself with all the time in the world to slot the ball under an outcoming Eastwood.

Karl Robinson attempted to force a response by making all three substitutions straight after the second goal, but it wasn’t to be for the U’s who struggled to create any more clear cut chances. The game ultimately petered out and finished 2-0.

Image Credit: Quisnovus/ CC BY 2.0 via flickr

CHERWELL

32 Hard Sudoku

Medium Sudoku

All cells separated by an X must sum to 10, while all cells separated by a V must sum to 5.

Micro Cryptic Crossword

Across: 1. Purge down in chaos with explosive (9) 6. Get in shape after confusing integral (8) 7. Close to real mess in New York (6) 8. I hear something watching me perhaps (3)

Down: 1. Cut down and restructure energy to go environmental (5) 2. What’s left after taking 10 back? (3) 3. Nasty oiler establish Oxford college (5) 4. Bird found returning to travel Gaelic home (5) 5. From the start, government EU negotiator’s ego are in their DNA (4)

Pencil Puzzle - Slitherlink Slitherlink first appeared in Nikoli – a popular Japanese puzzle magazine established in the 1980s by Maki Kaji. Named after the winning horse in the Irish 2000 Guineas, Nikoli went from selling magazines from bookshop to bookshop to introducing Sudoku to the world. Kaji claims to be the “Godfather of Sudoku”, as Sudoku – then known as Number Place – was first published in an American puzzle magazine by Howard Garns, but didn’t gain popularity until it was published in Nikoli 5 years later.

The objective of this puzzle is to form a single non-branching loop around the grid. The loop is formed by connecting corners of squares along the dotted lines. Additionally, any numbers given in squares tell how many of its sides form part of the loop.

Send your solutions to puzzlescherwell@gmail.com

Editor’s Corner: Hadley Freeman

Purrwell Corner: Walter & Simpkin

Hadley Freeman was Editor of Cherwell in Michaelmas Term

1997. She has worked as a staff writer and columnist for The Guardian, regularly contributes to Vogue and is the author of four books.

How would you describe your experience working at Cherwell?

Exhausting and exhilarating What is your best memory from your time at Cherwell?

Making friends I still have today.

What is the biggest lesson you learnt during your time as editor?

That I wanted to work in journalism, but not as an editor.

Would you have done anything differently as editor?

Not done it in my final year.

Did your experience at Cherwell help you in your career?

Absolutely. It was an article I wrote for Cherwell that ultimately got me my job at The Guardian How have you seen the paper evolve since?

I am pretty sure it’s much more professional now.

It’s the story that has gripped both Oxford and Mumsnet. Hertford College’s Chief Mouser, Simpkin has been banned from Exeter College’s library, the home of Walter the Exeter cat.

Read the full story online!