Horoscopes

Gemini 21 May- 20 June

‘Love Me Like You’ by Little Mix. Or some similar anthem. Then shout it at the top of your lungs. Tell your neighbours it’s either this or your pent-up angst.

Virgo 23 Aug. - 22 Sept.

Photo Dump. You know you love them. Romanticise every 5th week granola bowl/ sunset/welfare walk/library session and post it to the gram to feel something.

Cancer 21 June - 22 July

Scented Candles. Preferably 2 or 3. Bask in the fickering sweet-smelling glow of your room and reminisce.

Libra 23 Sept. - 22 Oct.

Holiday Planning. You’re all caught up in work, but look to the future for motivation. Sandy beaches and sun-kissed selfes await.

Scorpio 23 Oct. - 21 Nov.

Stargazing. You’re wild but you’re spiritual. Go look at the stars and let a tear slip romantically down your cheek while ‘White Ferrari’ plays through your headphones.

Sagittarius 22 Nov. - 21 Dec.

Gym Sesh. Get into that sigma grindset and go hit some PRs. Old school Rihanna will be your workout playlist. Then fex in the mirror for good measure.

CHERPSE! SOPHIA

First Impressions?

He was really cute, really friendly smile, and I liked that we had a lil hug the frst time we met!

Did it meet your expectations?

I was nervous, but the conversation kept fowing pretty easily and any awkward moment was just laughed off.

What was the highlight?

We both lived in the same area as kids and bonded about how kind of crappy a place it was, retrospectively.

What was the most embarrassing moment?

My eyes always leak when it’s a bit windy, so I hope he didn’t think I was crying on our frst date.

Describe the date in 3 words: Sweet, unexpected, chill.

Is there a second date on the cards? Hopefully a pub trip this week!

Loren

First Impressions?

She seemed really nice and friendly. The convo came very naturally from the get-go.

Did it meet your expectations?

It was far less awkward than what I imagined a blind date would be like.

What was the highlight?

Having a nice convo to start the morning.

What was the most embarrassing moment?

There were no embarrassing moments.

Describe the date in 3 words: Calm, fun, relaxed.

Is there a second date on the cards?

Very possibly – maybe a pub trip later this week.

Looking for love?

Email lifestylecherwell@gmail. com or message one of our editors.

Roses are red, violets are blue… Valentine’s is dead and romance is too.

I like to consider myself an activist and so I’ve joined a very worthwhile campaign: banning Valentine’s Day. The chocolates, the fowers, the kisses, the sex—the goal is to ban all forms of love on February fourteenth each year. I’ll continue to work on this valuable mission for as long as I’m single.

It’s come and gone, the annual anti-single day is behind us for another year. And what a shame! What’s not to love about a day devoted to making those who aren’t in a relationship feel as if they are the world’s biggest loner, and the bank accounts of those who are romantically involved, suffer unnecessarily? It’s a day which fuels capitalism, keeping Cadbury’s in business and providing every forist’s biggest pay-day.

If you did have a romance flled, lovey, dovey Valentine’s, then good for you. If you’re delusional enough to actually look forward to the made-up holiday every year, then I hope you enjoyed your 24 hours in fairyland. I’m not a cynic, but I’m sure those romantic illusions are wilting by now, at just about the same pace as those fowers you were gifted. The day itself is like the Olympics of Love—the race to get the reddest roses, dipping strawberries in chocolate in record time and managing to secure your personal best in public displays of affection per minute.

Maybe you are part of an even more infuriating group of Valentine’s celebrators— the ‘Galentiners’. Quit pretending that all you need is your friends, you’re kidding yourself if you think they’ll give you the validation you crave. And talk about being exclusive, what kind of a friend are you to leave your girl out of the Galentine’s celebration just because she has a boyfriend. You know who you are and you should be ashamed.

Congratulations if you made it through the day as a singleton while faced with the injustice of being bombarded with obnoxious, over-affectionate couples taking hold of every restaurant—as well as your entire Instagram feed. This year, we were really f**ked. The fact that Valentine’s Day fell in 5th week seems like a cruel joke from the Universe. Forget reds and pinks, this week has been Blues all round.

If you’re still reeling from feelings of loneliness and the fear of being forever single, then why not give yourself some love? For those who have decided to give themselves over to the darkness (also known as being in a relationship) then isn’t everyday Valentine’s when love is in the air? If you’re a devoted