Day 12 without the beach: lost hearing in my left eye
DAMN
I woke up sexy again
My doctor said I need to watch my drinking.
I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings.
Sorry I’m late:
CATALOG 2025
Now I stand in front of the mirror.
I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
“I’d like a Diet Coke please.”
“Is Diet Pepsi okay?”
“Is Monopoly money okay?”
I’m A Better Person When I’m Tan
In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect, and one who stacks it like a raccoon on crystal meth.
My husband asked if he had any annoying habits and then got all offended 1/2 way through my PowerPoint presentation
Boss: you have been late 4 times this week. You know what that means?
Me: must be Thursday
My kids were walking from the house to the car.
96 is the new 69. Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has gone up
I wish I had more middle fingers
If I am ever on life support, I want to be unplugged, but not until I get down to a size 8
I need a six month vacation, two times a year
“Who’s
thinking outside the box now, Carol?”
Teacher: “Name a book that made you cry.”
Me: Algebra
Them “You need to listen to your body more.”
Body “You’re old and you want pizza.”
Hacker: I have all your passwords
Me: OMG thank you, what are they?
I’m planning on having my favorite drink this weekend. It’s called a lot.
Gone to the beach. Be back never.
SORRY. CAN’T. BEACH. BYE.
SCENE At my boss’s funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin:
I was born to be wild.
But only til about 8:30ish, Maybe 9pm tops…
SORRY. CAN’T. BEACH. BYE.
“I’d like a Diet Coke please.” “Is Diet Pepsi okay?” “Is Monopoly money okay?”
I put my symptoms on WebMD and it turns out I just need to be on a beach with a cocktail
I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings.
I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
This whole ‘kill them with kindness’ thing is taking way longer than expected
Only worry in the world... is the tide gonna reach my chair. Everyone should believe in something.
I believe I’ll go to the beach
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like “I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn’t.”
Gone to the beach. Be back never.
Hi! We are Jennifer Neuguth and David Riordan.
We live in a super small town in Vermont
We love to ski, hike, travel, cook, kayak, bike and just hang out!
We are funny people, we like funny people and we surround ourselves with loads of LOVE and ADVENTURE
Thank you for your interest in Drinks on Me. Cheers, J and D
Terms & Conditions
How to Order
1. Visit drinksonme.com to order wholesale online
2. Order with your LOCAL REP, Drinks On Me is proud to work with the following rep groups:
Atlanta/Southeast: Tango Reps vicky@tangoreps.com
New England: Brian and Company brian.hickman2@verizon.net
Mid Atlantic: Philip David Company susan.pdcsalescoordinator@gmail.com
Chicago/Midwest: Anne McGilvray & Company hello@annemcgilvray.com
Las Vegas/CA, NV, AZ: Anne McGilvray & Company hello@annemcgilvray.com
Minneapolis/Midwest: The Street Brands joe@thestreetbrands.com
Seattle/Pacific Northwest: Ritz Sisters nikki@ritzsisters.com
TOLA, MO and KS: Portico Collection katie@porticocollection.com
Mountain States; CO, UT, WY, NM: Anne McGilvray & Company hello@annemcgilvray.com
OH and WV: Cheryl Lynn and Associates cheryllynnassoc@gmail.com
Upstate New York: Laura Da Cunha lauradeeandcompany@gmail.com
Canada: Bella Flor, Canada - amy@bellaflor.ca
3. Call (401) 374-3899, to speak to a lovely human being.
Opening & Returning Orders
There is a $144 opening order and $100 reorder minimum. All opening orders must be paid in full before shipment. Returning orders may set up NET 30 after the third order and with credit references. Drinks On Me reserves the right to collect payment by legal means for delinquent accounts.
Payment
Drinks on Me accepts all major credit cards and ACH payments Net 30 accounts that are paid with a credit card will incur a 3% charge
Damages/Defects
Please, inspect all shipments immediately upon arrival. Please, contact Drinks On Me at jennifer@drinksonme.com within 4 days of receipt of damaged or defective merchandise or discrepancies in your order. Returned merchandise will only be accepted with a RA # and shipped back within 10 days of receipt
Returns/Exchanges
Wholesale merchandise may not be returned or exchanged. We only accept returns in the case of defective merchandise as noted above.
Custom:
We do custom coasters. The minimum is 144 per design. Please, contact david@drinksonme.com to discuss.
DISH TOWELS
Best Friends 6108*
Mr Rogers 6109*
Young and Fun 6110*
Struggle 6111*
True Friend 6106*
Song Lyrics 6107*
Folded with Hanger Flat
Folded with Hanger Flat
Broke best friend 6114* Ran out of Coffee 6115* Professional help 6116*
Glitter body spray 6117*
Negative 6112*
Fireball 6113*
Wine Talking 6124*
Fired 6125*
Porn 6126*
Good Morning 6127*
Go to Parties 6128*
Hugged Me 6129*
Folded with Hanger Flat
Chicken Pot Pie 6130*
Pissed 6131*
Folded with Hanger Flat
XMAS Grinch 6100*
XMAS Peace on Earth 6101*
XMAS Blitzen 6102*
XMAS Hard to shop 6103*
XMAS Related 6104*
XMAS Merry Drunk 6105*
KITCHEN TOWEL DISPLAY OPTIONS
#6999
Floor towel display, 16x16x72
Holds 32 styles, offset: 3 pks of 6, (retail value $252) $250.00
#6997
Preselected top 32 towel styles, 6 each with Floor spinner towel display, offset: 3 pks of 6 $1,400.00
#6998
Tabletop Towel display, 16x16x31
Holds 16 styles, offset: 1pk of 6 towels, (retail value $84) $100.00
#6996
Preselected top 16 towel styles, 6 each with Tabletop spinner towel display, offset: 1 pk of 6 $700.00
#REP
Replacement parts for displays $2 each
COASTERS
I
COASTERS – HUMOROUS
Asking for a friend
I struggle between ‘I want to look good naked’ and pizza.
I
Let me check my givashitometer. Nope, nothing.
Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.
I amuse the shit out of myself
So, how do I stop eating chips and salsa? Do they run out, or do I die, or what?
Stop being an asshole. There.
Now I’m your life coach.
Don’t try to tell me that hungry is not an emotion because I feel that shit in my soul.
I whisper 'what the f**k' to myself at least twenty times a day.
Please. DO not invite me to outside events. It’s hot and I’m fat.
COASTERS – HUMOROUS
It’s getting increasingly harder to tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of ambition
Prayers needed. Nothing wrong, I just wanna hit the lotto and quit my job.
I hate when people are eating yogurt and spend 30 minutes going apeshit scraping the container for every last drop. It’s fucking yogurt. Not cocaine
Flight Attendant 1282
Fold Laundry 1286
Cup of Ambition 1291 Prayers
Groaning
Salute 1307
Chapstick 1308 **
Bon Jovi 1309
Shitty You 1311
Cookies 1312
Stroke Hair 1313
Grudges 1314
Garden Naked 1315
COASTERS – HUMOROUS
Only a matter of time before my electric bill asks me to select a tip amount.
As much as Pooh missed Piglet, he really did enjoy that pulled pork sandwich.
Procrastination is totally a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.
This whole ‘kill them with kindness’ thing is taking way longer than expected
I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I don’t like my attitude & I got caught drinking on the job
Male bees die after mating. That’s basically their life HONEY. NUT. CHEERIO.
“Do you run?” Yes.
Out of patience, fucks and money.
I don’t mind coming to work, but waiting 8 hours to go home is bullshit.
I woke up
again I wish I had more middle fingers
Teacher: “Name a book that made you cry.”
Me: Algebra
Hacker: I have all your passwords
Me: OMG thank you, what are they?
COASTERS – HUMOROUS
If I am ever on life support, I want to be unplugged, but not until I get down to a size 8
It’s perfectly OK to talk to yourself and it’s perfectly OK to answer yourself. But it’s totally sad that you have to repeat what you said because you weren’t listening.
Them “You need to listen to your body more.”
Body “You’re old and you want pizza.”
In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect, and one who stacks it like a raccoon on crystal meth.
I
SCENE At my boss’s funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin:
“Who’s thinking outside the box now, Carol?”
“The cards are great and our customers stand there and laugh out loud”
COASTERS – PARENTING
And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we
so we had kids.
Sorry I’m late: My kids were walking from the house to the car.
COASTERS – DRINKING
If drinking on the front porch counts then, yes, call me outdoorsy.
My doctor said I need to watch my drinking. Now I stand in front of the mirror.
COASTERS – MARRIAGE
My wife says I have only two faults. I don’t listen and some other shit she was yammering on about.
Finally fixed that annoying noise in my car, I just opened the door and pushed him out.
Keep your marriage fresh by writing each other love notes like “I considered smothering you with a pillow last night but didn’t.”
sku #4999
Original HOOK-R
Neoprene bag that holds up to 6 coasters. Hangs on any bottle and also functions as a storage case.
HOOK-R $4.25 packed in 6’s
#4994-4997
design styles
each min 6 per design
Product Pricing
Coasters are 4”x4” resin with cork backing. Made in the USA $2.25 each, packed in 6’s.
Cork Back
sku #4998
HOOK-R Design Set
hookr design set: 4 each of the 4 styles (total of 16 at $4.25 each) $68
Each coaster display comes with a hook to hang your bands on. Suggest that customer band together sets to increase sales.
COASTER DISPLAY OPTIONS
Floor Rotating Display
Dimensions: 13”x13”x76”
Offset: 7 sets of coasters,
SKU #5002 Display only. You pick 64 coaster styles to fill, $200
SKU #5003 Display filled with our 64 best-selling coaster styles, $1064
Table Top Rotating Display
Dimensions: 13”x13”x32” Offset: 3 sets of coasters
SKU #5000 Display only. You pick 32 coaster styles to fill, $80
SKU #5001 Display filled with our top 32 best-selling coaster styles, $512
Turn your tabletop display #5000 into a floor display #5002 with SKU #5006 Upgrade Display only. This upgrade attaches to your existing tabletop display creating a full 64 sku, floor display, $120 Offset: 4 sets of coasters
Tabletop Plexi Display
Dimensions: 22” x 26” x 7”
Offset: 2 sets of coasters
SKU #5004 Display only. You pick 24 coasters to fill, $70
SKU #5005 Display filled with our top 24 best-selling coaster styles, $394
Big Momma Rotating Display
Our only display which features both Coasters and Napkins
Dimensions: 16”x 30” x 5’
Offset:
1. 11 sets of 6 coasters $363 value OR 2. 11 sets of 6 napkins $379 value OR 3. 6 sets of 6 coasters with 5 sets of 6 napkins $370 value
SKU #8006 Display only $350 You Pick napkins and coaster styles to fill
SKU #8007 Display filled with our best-selling (59)coaster and (49) napkin styles, $2013.80
SKU #8008 Display filled with 118 best-selling coaster styles, $1943
SKU #8009 Display filled with 98 best-selling napkin styles, $2084.60
Free Display Signs
Branded Drinks On Me signs for your display. Made of the same high quality, resin coaster material
Napkins
Price: $
NAPKINS
PARTY IN A BOX EVERYDAY
Napkin Box Sets•Mix of 25 different napkins
Cocktail napkins 5”x5”•$7.50 packed in 6’s
Napkin inside
Teenager
HR 7065
Grudges 7066
Umbrella 7063
Awesome 7064
Napkin inside
Front Back
Procrastinate 7067*
Ambition 7068*
Wealthy Dog 7073*
Life Is Short 7074*
Outdoorsy 7071*
Dog Named Me 7072
Unplug 7069*
Pooh 7070
Napkin inside Front Back
Napkin inside Front Back
Starbucks 7077*
Spite 7078
Dating After 40 7075 *
Honey Nut 7076
Smiles Today 7079*
Good Parent 7080*
Customer Testimonial
TOP SELLER
“These coasters are always top sellers for us!!!!! We crack up every time we receive a new shipment of new ones!!!! Love this product!”
Customer Testimonial
Customers Laugh out Loud and Love!
“These are great sellers and sell faster than we can order. Customers stand at the display and read them out loud while laughing with friends. The acrylic display is very high quality and we are already thinking about going to the bigger one!”
NAPKIN DISPLAY OPTIONS
Floor Rotating Display
Dimensions: 13”x13”x76”
Dimensions:
Offset: 6 styles, 6 each
SKU #8000 Display only. You pick 32 napkin styles to fill. $200
SKU #8003 Display is filled with our 32 best-selling napkin styles, $766.40
Table Top Rotating Display
Dimensions: 13”x13”x36”
Offset: 3 styles, 6 each
Sku #8001 Display only. You pick 16 napkin styles to fill, $80
Sku #8004 Display is filled with our top 16 best-selling napkin styles, $363.20
Turn your tabletop display #8001 into a floor display #8000 with Sku #8002 Upgrade display only. This upgrade attaches to your existing Table Top display creating a full 32 sku, Floor display. $120
Offset: 4 packs of napkins
Each display allows you to display the front and the back of each napkin
Big Momma Rotating Display
Our only display which features both Coasters and Napkins
Dimensions: 16”x 30” x 5’
Offset:
1. 11 sets of 6 coasters $363 value OR 2. 11 sets of 6 napkins $379 value OR 3. 6 sets of 6 coasters with 5 sets of 6 napkins $370 value
SKU #8006 Display only $350 You Pick napkins and coaster styles to fill
SKU #8007 Display filled with our best-selling (59)coaster and (49) napkin styles, $2013.80
SKU #8008 Display filled with 118 best-selling coaster styles, $1943
SKU #8009 Display filled with 98 best-selling napkin styles, $2084.60
Napkin
CARDS
Cards are 5”x5” in cello packaging #100 recycled paper
Additional postage is needed to mail $2.25 each, packed in 6
Tabletop spinner card display Holds 32 styles
Dimensions: 13x13x32
Price: $80
Offset: 3 packs of 6 cards, retail value $81
Preselected top 32 card styles, 6 each with Tabletop spinner card display and offset 3 styles, 6 each ($81 retail value) $512
Preselected top 64 card styles, 6 each with Floor spinner card display and offset 8 styles, 6 each ($216 value) $1064
Floor spinner card display Holds 64 styles
Dimensions: 13x13x76
Price: $200
Offset: 8 packs of 6 cards, retail value $216
BOOKS
BEACH
HOLIDAY
XMAS Grinch 6100
XMAS Peace on Earth 6101
XMAS Blitzen 6102
XMAS Hard to shop 6103
XMAS Related 6104
XMAS Merry Drunk 6105
Napkin inside
Napkin Xmas Nice-Ish 7086
Napkin Xmas Big Fat Bank 7087*
Napkin Xmas Elf On Shelf 7084*
Napkin Xmas Music 7085
Napkin Xmas Merry Drunk 7088
Napkin Xmas Spirit 7089
PARTY IN A BOX HOLIDAY
Napkin Box Sets•Mix of 25 different napkins
Mary, exhausted, having just gotten Jesus to sleep, is approached by a young man who thinks to himself: what this girl needs is a drum solo
Xmas Gift
Filthy Schmuck
Custom Coaster Program
• Please send files as a high quality PDF or JPG
• JPGs need to be 1:1(square), atleast 288px and 300 DPI
• PDFs shoud be 4”x4” and all images used need to be 300DPI
• The corner will be rounded 1/4”, please make sure all artwork is set up to accommodate the rounded corners
I’m 100% sure that I called shotgun, why are you shoving me in the back?
Yea I realize I’m being arrested but the rules of shotgun are pretty clear, man.
What does it mean if the holy water sizzles when it hits your skin?
Asking for a friend
The first rule of passive aggressive club is... You know what, nevermind, it’s FINE.
Kinda tired of having a “job” and having to “go to work” and “pay bills.”
Now accepting applications for a sugar daddy.
Finally fixed that annoying noise in my car, I just opened the door and pushed him out.
I just bought my husband a ‘Get better soon’ card. He’s not sick... I just think he could be better.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits... Let me check my givashitometer. Nope, nothing. Getting old sucks big time. I just threw my back out because the toaster startled me.
“I’d like a Diet Coke please.”
“Is Diet Pepsi okay?”
“Is Monopoly money okay?” I amuse
Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn't looking and I think to myself, wow... He is one lucky son of a bitch.
So, how do I stop eating chips and salsa? Do they run out, or do I die, or what? Are we having drinks? Or are we having dranks? I need to dress accordingly. Welcome to the Shitshow I had my patience tested. I’m negative. Don’t try to tell