Rochelle Zell Jewish High School E-news: The Best Day of the Year

15 Adar II, 5776 This Week at Rochelle Zell

March 25, 2016

The Best Day of the Year

Purim 2016 Purim Spiels Costumed Concepts Chesed Club Basketball Community Service Projects Lunch Menu Updates Commencement 2016 Community Events Alumni Trivia A Taste of Torah

Class Schedule ​Monday, March 28 A Tuesday, March 29 C

"You're late, you're late, tefillah begins at eight!" The White Rabbit at the front desk welcomed students and staff into school this morning, where photos were snapping, groggers were grogging, and Purim was in full sway at Rochelle Zell Jewish High School! BeGer duck your head as you enter the Beit Knesset, especially if you're giant Gumby twins Felix Rosen and Akiva Stein, who aren't tall enough already and may bang their heads on the way in! And... "Jail break!" Midway through

Wednesday, March 30 BB Thursday, March 31 C Friday, April 1 A

Quick Links RZJHS.org Calendars Lunch Menu Edline Give Now

davenning, the senior girls made a break for it in their orange jumpsuits, with the senior boys right behind them as the RZPD. We're commanded to blot out the memory of Amalek, plus or minus Darth Feinsmith's Star Wars rendiQon of the Torah reading, and a trivia contest megillah reading, courtesy of Mr. Eskin, Ms. Nadis, Mrs. Eliaser, Hadar Halivni, and the Va'ad Tefillah. Upside down and inside out, as long as we're not accidentally boo-­‐ing Mordechai (sorry about that, Chapter 5) or waiQng for silence (whenever you're ready, Judaic Studies teachers!), it's all in good fun!

The Name Game Purim Spiels Have a Go At Our Name Change!

Save The Date March 25 2:15 Dismissal Begins April 10-­‐11

Wagner Ins[tute at Rochelle Zell Jewish High School April 10 ACT April 14 School Musical: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee April 20-­‐May 2 Pesach Break April 22 First Seder May 3 AP Exams

Big changes came this past year to Chicagoland Jewish High School, from the hallowed halls where the seniors sleep so peacefully, to the Beit Knesset where Rabbi Belgrad sings so happily with the students at davenning (all three of them). All of a sudden, at the drop of a hat, no one is allowed to say CJ anymore! Next thing we know, Fashion Police Ms. Inez Drazin is stalking the building, confiscaQng everything in sight! Is nothing sacred? The shock, the grief, the anger, the gleeful anQcipaQon... the faculty Purim spiel spiraled out of control with an avalanche of changes in Rochelle Zell Jewish High School, where next thing you know, Mr. Luis MarQnez will be the head rabbi and Mr. Taylor the new chair of Judaic studies, where security guards Ms. Parker and Mrs. Eliaser will chase gossiping layabouts out of the development office so the secretaries can actually do their jobs, where Julia MaQ's college professors will accept MUN acQviQes for semester credit and Dylan Janaczak won't get his fingers stuck in a test tube.

It's prime Qme on "The School," the junior class spiel, where Talia Gorstein is having an existenQal crisis as to her worthiness to be a 'G,' Mr. Griffith, lampooned with deadly accuracy by Henry Wolle, is grilling his students ala "The Bachelor," and Tallulah Bark-­‐Huss' Dr. Schorsch is telling the news anchor all about the teleological suspension of the ethical-­‐-­‐if only her mortal listeners can figure out what on earth she's so transfixed by. The kashrut police are doing their usual uncompromising job of policing our eatables, suspicious paper sacks, and stray pets, and Mr. Scher may yet be able to pronounce the freshmen's names as he pages them over the PA system right here at RZJKLOMNOPHS. Seniors, why are you late? The senior Purim spiel will make you sorry you've ever asked, as the torrid and suspenseful tale of disaster chronicles every coffee run, accident, press-­‐gang, bout of indentured servitude, and power nap that ever made Emily Zfrani come waltzing in at 2:19 p.m. and call it morning. Speaking of quesQons you don't want to hear the answers to, Celia Pivo and Hana Lieber have tried, "Why aren't you coming to mincha?!" and are not pleased with the answers! What do you mean creepy? What do you you mean, solitary shucklers cocooned in a circle of culQsh mumbling? If you're looking for creepy, look towards the school basement, 'cuz it's just eaten Coby Drexler. Chalk it up to one more mystery that we were never meant to know!

Alumni Trivia Who is that mysterious masked physics teacher? It's Sara Behn, debuQng in the junior Purim spiel as Mrs. Eliaser, whose highfaluQn prolix on biomechanical fluid dynamics explains why she's chugging from that giant water boGle every day, but only if you can understand a single word she is talking about. Which of our esteemed alumni took the cake for wildly successful faculty impersonaQons on Purim, and where are they now?

All Suited Up

The Donald kept a blessedly low profile this morning at services-­‐-­‐both of him! The elecQon reared its ugly head with a pair of dueling Trumps, complete with hardworking redneck David Weisskopf, who came as a Trump supporter. For those of who in despair of your lives as November looms closer, don't worry-­‐-­‐ 2016 sported not one but two enQre brigades of lifeguard girls read to revive you! We had Gossip Girls, superheroes, teddy bears, Cruella DeVille and Sheriff Woody. The sophomore boys and girls colonized an enQre beach's worth of Hawaiian shirts, and Henry Wolle took up his old career as "Paper or PlasQc?" Michael Daughtery took the honors again for geek cosplay with his

Assassin's Creed oujit, with Noah Magill right behind him as Dread Pirate Roberts. Sam Brody and Lily Copley came as nerds, and if you didn't get the pun, you weren't paying aGenQon! Meira Groth was the loveliest hippie in fiky years; Sophie Kaufman, Shachar Rosenblaa, and Molly Hart came as math homework: notebook, calculator, and pink highlighter. (Very pink in the case of Molly Hart, whose hair stays that color even when it's not Purim.)

My, Ms. Friedman, you're looking spry today! Wait, no, that's Eli Hartman-­‐Seeskin, leading the annual RZJHS Impersonators brigade in the blonde coiffure and liGle denim jacket of everybody's

favorite color-­‐coordinated English teacher, with Mrs. Eliaser right behind him in the tznius florals and #RebbeMagic of Sarah Comar! Coach MarQnez swept the costume contest with his deadly accurate Jon Silver oujit, complete with baseball prowess, carefully blank stare, and Jon Silver dressed as Coach MarQnez to heckle him. Who knew bunnies wore

so much long black skirts? "Most creaQve" costume award went to Ms. Steinberg the Playboy Bunny, with "most funny" going to Yoni Maltsman, tricked out in Academy Aces gear to bash all us lightweight conservaQve Jews! However, the undisputed "cutest" definitely goes to Rabbi Greenberg's baby, dressed as a piece of sushi, trailing a cry of, "Awwww...!" wherever he crawled.

The faculty was sporQng some Chicagoland Jewish High School duds this morning, with ten years' worth of vintage t-­‐shirts that suddenly aren't as normal as they were last Purim. The language department came in its usual display of adorable color-­‐coordinaQon, came as a matched set of emoQcons, "¿Cómo se siente hoy?" and not to be outdone, the math department came as a musical number, complete with a talent show, courtesy of, "The Logra-­‐rhythms!" Click here to watch!

Purim Basketball Tournament Chesed Club Raises Funds for Chai Lifeline Yasher koach to YPI and the enQre Rochelle Zell community for raising over $6,000 in mishloach manot funds for the Chicago FoundaQon for EducaQon! New this year, the Chesed Club added a 3-­‐on-­‐3 basketball tournament to raise money for Chai Lifeline, the foundaQon improving life for children with cancer and their families. The thirty-­‐minute hoops extravaganza raised a significant sum for the foundaQon, with the sophomores taking a slim lead with some preGy amazing moves all around. Yasher koach to everyone who is sQll playing! Click here to donate to the cause.

Community Service Projects Rochelle Zell Hits the Road for Purim

"We've never had Superman in our warehouse before!" exclaimed the director of the Libertyville food outreach program, as buses from Rochelle Zell pulled up to do some good in the community! As soon as the game was over, masks came off and humorous paper signs were discarded, as our students boarded the buses to head out into the community. Freshmen volunteered with the residents of the Gidwitz Center on Lake Cook Road, playing Yiddish bingo and visiQng with the residents.

Sophomores stacked shelves in the food pantry and made merry with the clients at the ARK in Chicago. The senior class hit the canned goods secQon at Northern Illinois Food Bank in Geneva, where our students have been working for food jusQce for many years. Juniors volunteered at Feed My Starving Children in Libertyville, where they joined lots of other volunteers and families packing vitamins, soy powder, dried veggies and rice to be shipped to starving children in Honduras. Rabbi Greenberg says,"It was an incredible experience. We did the whole thing assembly line-­‐style: every single kid was essenQal to the process, from the ones stuffing and packing and sealing to the ones running around to refill the rice bin. With 86 volunteers this Purim, we boxed 120 boxes with 36 six-­‐ serving pouches; this day's work will feed 70 kids for a year!"

Lunch Menu Update Please Note Changes!

Aker six months of surprises at midday, our food service has finally updated the Rochelle Zell menu! Below you will find the lunch menu, updated as to reflect what is actually being served each day in the cafeteria.

What precisely is being harvested for the harvest vegetable soup? Send your guesses to E-­‐News.

We’re having a raffle.

Commencement 2016 Happy Adar and Freilichen Purim

Sponsored Breakfast Oy, I'll forget my own head next, along with Sara's bag and Felix's keys. Happy 18th birthday to Eli Johnson, who can now vote, and thanks to Eli's family for sponsoring bagels last week. To sponsor breakfast in honor of your favorite Tiger, contact Diane Zidman in the front office, and while you're at it, compliment her on her beauQfully smooth, rendiQon of "Shalom, Rochelle Zell Jewish High School!" Please also tell her you want a sumptuous three-­‐course repast like the one we had for the holiday.

Community News and Events We pause now for a word from our sponsor. .

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Alumni Trivia Gotcha!

Gotcha!

Faculty Deja Vu on Purim was pioneered by Jessica Hochberg ('14), whose 2011 Ms. Susnow getup was so effecQve

that several students were heard wondering why their charismaQc and creaQve Talmud teacher hadn't bothered dressing up for Purim! The real Ms. Susnow eventually emerged from under a hoodie and shades as an equally convincing JusQn Bieber, causing mass embarrassment to those freshmen who didn't recognize their favorite teacher without her 2chel.

Jessica is now majoring in English and psychology at Washington University, where she is researching language disorders in children, and minoring in liberal arts in business.

Last summer, she interned with the JUF where she wrote arQcles for the JUF News and OY! Chicago. Jessica is acQve in her campus Hillel and AEPhi chapter. The enthusiasQc and clever Ms. Susnow lives in Haifa with her husband, Rabbi MaG Susnow, where, in their latest superhuman bout of Jewish educaQon, they are raising three adorable liGle munchkins all under the age of three.

Of course, the legendary Maya Behn ('14) swept the honors for three years running with her fearsomely accurate Mrs. Eliaser impersonaQon, complete with double-­‐taking juniors coming up to ask her for help on their physics rewrites and Ms. Friedman turning to her with the junior aGendance list to ask if she'd seen Maya Behn about the place that morning. (In fact, legend adds that Mrs. Eliaser's eldest child, when presented at kindergarten with a photo of the Purim fesQviQes on somebody's phone, was asked which of the ladies there was her Mommy, promptly pointed lek, and was astounded to find she'd goGen it wrong!) Maya is now hugely enjoying herself as a pre-­‐med English major at Haverford, T.A.'ing general chemistry and running the Women in STEM blog. Maya is proud to be Haverford's correspondent for the Hillary for America campaign. Maya reports, "I'm trying to find a summer posiQon a clinic working with OB/GYNs or pediatricians; there are a few in the city that look like they can take me." Way to go, Maya!

A Taste of Torah

Nine out of ten school-­‐age children can tell you that hamantaschen are “oznei haman,” liGle pastry models of Haman’s ears, which we eat in triumph over his defeat. Only one out of ten children, however, make the appropriate scienQfic inference, which is that if these liGle cookies are truly Haman’s ears, the celebrated villain must have had ears like a giant pixied bat and frightened small children in Shushan every Qme he lek the house. Fortunately, a liGle bit of research will reveal that “oznei haman” are actually fazuelos, deep-­‐fried Sephardic sweet rounds—a completely different delicacy—supporQng the noQon that Haman was a relaQvely normal-­‐looking man, despite his occasional tendency to frost his ears with honey before leaving for work.

“Hamantaschen” are actually German in origin, and their name means “Haman’s pockets.” The mystery of why Haman tailored all his suits with triangular pockets can be solved by our friends at Heinz-­‐Galinski Day School over in Berlin, who speak German and can tell us that “hamantaschen” is a corrupted form of “mohntaschen,” the original name of the dish. “Mohntaschen” means “poppyseed pockets,” a descripQon far more in accord with the current confecQon than any of these previous monikers. Clearly, Haman kept his pockets stuffed with poppyseed because he was a major drug mogul in the Persian empire, a hobby which accounts for the peculiar control he exerts over Achashverosh over the course of the Purim story, as well as his ability to donate millions of shekels to unsavory poliQcal causes based on personal biases. By eaQng hamantaschen, we are celebraQng Mordechai’s heroic audit of Haman’s less-­‐than-­‐legal estate earnings, as it is wriGen, “VaTasem Esther et Mordechai al beit Haman.” So eat up, and happy Purim!

-­‐-­‐Mrs. Shira Eliaser

We hope you have enjoyed this special holiday edi2on of E-­‐News. We will return to our usual sobering regimen of academic announcements, baseball losses, adver2sing, and depressing world events next week. In the mean2me, nosh some hamantaschen and happy Purim!

1095 Lake Cook Road • Deerfield, IL 60015 • Qgers@rzjhs.org • 847.470.6700