Private Peaceful “They’ve gone now, and I’m alone at last. I have the whole night ahead of me, and I won’t waste a single moment of it… I want tonight to be long, as long as my life…” From the battlefields of the First World War, Thomas Peaceful relives memories of his childhood and family life in the countryside. From his early childhood adventures in rural Devon, to the battles and injustices of war that brought him to the front line, Private Tommo Peaceful spends these lonely hours reliving his short but vivid past. In this extract, Tommo tells of the moment that his trench is hit by a gas attack: ‘“Gas! Gas!” The cry goes up and is echoed all along the trench. For a moment we are frozen with panic. We have trained for this time and time again, nonetheless we fumble clumsily, feverishly with our gas masks. “Fix bayonets!” Hanley’s yelling while we’re still trying frantically to pull on our gas masks. We grab our rifles and fix bayonets. We’re on the firestep looking out into no-mans-land, and we see it rolling towards us, this dreaded killer cloud we have heard so much about but have never seen for ourselves until now. Its deadly tendrils are searching ahead, feeling their way forward in long yellow wisps, scenting me, searching for me. Then finding me out, the gas turns and drifts straight for me.’
Storytelling challenge: In the extract above, the attack is told by Tommo as if it is happening right now. This is called the present tense. Michael Morpurgo uses a technique called personification to describe the gas spreading towards Tommo. This is where an object is given human feelings or intentions to create a particular effect. Here, although the gas is just spreading across the trench, it is given an intent – it is “searching ahead”, “scenting” and “finding” Tommo. Can you write an exciting scene using one of the techniques from the text?
You should: • Think of an exciting moment in a story. Describe the moment to a partner, trying to make it as exciting as you can. Think both about what happens in the scene and also how you tell the story.
You might:
Stuck for ideas? You could make up an entirely new story with new characters, or you could retell a story you know well already. If you get stuck, perhaps you could describe the moment where:
• Use the present tense, as if the scene is happening right now.
• The hero is hiding and danger is coming closer and closer.
• Use personification – giving an object feelings or human intentions.
• An accident is about to happen and it looks unavoidable… Present tense example: • I am running now, ducking hailstones the size of eggs as I race towards the open door. • The woman leans forward and whispers, “I have Teddy and unless you follow my instructions, you will not see him again.” I gasp. Personification example: • The barrel of the gun glared at me from across the room. • The roar of the flames shouted to me, screaming to me to run and save myself.
Private Peaceful