Kenneth Towner

Blessed and Cursed Childhood

Man, what can I say right now. Man, my mind spinning just thinking about the moments and memories with my friends. I remember when I first transferred to Plato Learning Academy, at the half of my second grade year. I was furious at first to say the least because I was going to school with my cousins. So, I didn’t know what to look forward to, but I had no choice.

My first day, I was very cautious. I walked into the principal's office, introduced myself. I got to know a little bit about most of the staff. Then, it was time to go to my class. I believed the classroom number was either 201 or 207, but all that I can remember is that I walked in, the class was loud and chaotic. But once I came in the room, everyone stop talking. My teacher, Ms. Nippons, introduced me to the class and I sat down in my seat. Some dude came up to me without even knowing me and said, “Wassup bro. My name Lashawn.” I told him my name and from that moment we instantly clicked. This was my first homie at this new school and I haven’t even been in this class for 20 minutes. Then I found out I was in the wrong class. In the class that I was originally supposed to be in, I met more people named Keenan and Amonta. These was my homies and we had that bond that couldn’t break, but with Amonta we always bumped heads. We argued about anything, but then we would be right back cool like nothing ever happened and it has been that way since forever still to this day.

These was my guys; everyday we was together. We lived far from each other's house, but we walked everywhere together. It didn’t matter the length; long as it was us, we was ok. These was some of the best days I had in my life. Typical kid-teenager behavior. Once we made 7th grade, our lives began to change. I can say we were teenagers who didn’t care about nothing and did what we wanted to do--not caring what nobody says to us. When we graduated 8th grade, I can say our worlds turned into something we knew could happen...but like I said, how our mindsets was, we didn’t.

So, let me tell you how my life turned for the worst. End of 8th grade, going into high schooI, I was already in the streets. The shit I experienced when I was little just made me think the way I did. And at the time, I felt that the streets was something I looked forward to. It was fun for a short period of time. But going into my Junior year is what changed my life. My cousin died shortly after I started back. Seeing him often, after not seeing him for a year. That shook me because at the time that’s my first time ever feeling the heart of death, someone that was close to me. I couldn’t wrap my head around that. After that, one of my childhood friends got killed. When this happened, I was so unstable and confused. I never felt that pain of losing a homie. I never would have thought that it could be one of mine. From that day forward, I knew the streets was not a game.

Arrival of the Princess

When my niece was born, it was one of the best days in my life. When we finally brought her home, it felt like a new start. Her energy was just strong.

I never wanted to be away from her, but she started crying. I didn’t know why she was crying, so I dropped a couple of tears. She broke my heart because I thought that I was hurting her. I wasn't, she was a baby and babies cry.

At the time I was only twelve and I was watching her by myself for the first time. It was overwhelming at first.

My Heart, Mind and Soul

Son son, you don’t know how excited I am to meet you. You been on my mind heavy and you don’t know who I am yet. Daddy is ready for you. You changed my perspective and my way of thinking with everything. I can only really think about you. I just want to be able to hold you, look in your eyes and really know you are mines–a little human that I have created.

Son, son the countdown is real. I’m patiently waiting on the arrival, son son. I am eager to see your face, your ears, your smile, and I can’t wait for the first skin to skin son. You have been what has been changing the way I think with everything. You have to be checked in any situation. You're always my main option, or answer to anything. If you are not brought up, I don’t want to know or be entertained with that. I’ve never been so eager or so happy with anything else ever in my life. You my everything son.

You don’t understand what kind of feeling you give me, but I promise you will see when we finally meet each other. I’m glad your mother and I made you because you’re something I never thought that I needed and wanted so much. You’re my everything. My heart, my mind, my soul, I will never let anyone take that away from me.

So please hurry up, son, we have time that we have to spend together. You taking too long. Your Mom is anxious for you to come. Son, you and her bring sunshine to life. You bring her up through her toughest times. I see that already, and you are not even here yet. Hurry up, son son.