Sweet Dreams
Hopes and fears, joys and tears
A day of mourning that all started well, I never thought I’d send my mother to hell. My birth was said to be a joy amongst a miserable life, To save me, mother had to give up her own life. The pregnancy didn’t go as planned, I never felt the warmth of my mother’s hands. Father sheds a tear and holds me tight, My father was a man born without sight.≠ Holding her body and engrossing her stench, Gripping her tight, but no longer feel her clench. While growing up, father felt alone, His heart bled for mother, it was as cold as stone. Walking into the room, seeing father hanging by a rope. Motionless but happy, strangled at the throat. Born without a sense of smell, And gums, which cannot taste, My heart condition also Could be or become my fate. They gave me a home and a family, which would love me, They gave me warmth that I could feel and see. The future is distant, the future is long, My only wish is if my parents weren’t gone.
To the beginning of the end
The exciting days of going to school, Aren’t fairy-tales their ugly and cruel. They saw me as weak, they would yell and spit, I’m just another kid not ready to take the hit. Spending lunchtimes crying in the toilet, Shaking in fear, smoking cheap cigarettes. Hoping that there is someone out there, That I could cherish, feel, love and care. Once a rough day out in the playground, A bully named Craig, beat me to the ground. The one thing I needed was a viable intervention, To release me from this pain, suffering & tension. He walks away as I roll over, Right now I need a four-leafed clover. But to my fortune a hand leaned my way, I couldn’t believe it this moment was my greatest day. Her name was Eliza, the girl of my dreams, Her presence is bursting my heart at the seams. She took my hand and raised me off my feet, We walked to the bus and sat on a seat. I sat down and you sat down next to me, Was this a dream, some kind of fantasy? This must be a fairy-tale, My love for you is off the scale. Life before you consisted of pain and darkness, Now thanks you, it is soaked in happiness.
unspoken words
There are words I am afraid to speak, Even when my confidence is nearing its peak. All these feelings that I hold for you, Are trapped like animals, cages inside a zoo. These words I try to speak, are ever so hard to seek, Especially when I’m so convinced that I look like a freak. maybe one day I will let myself see, the confident, romantic side of me. you are the one, but I fear I am running out of time, All I need is some form of visual sign. The other kids test me, my love for her was not in denial, Everyday I dream of walking her up the isle. I write poems about her, it’s an addictive habit, but I know until I have her, that’s how I will have it. It is more than just looks, I am in love with her personality, after a stressful day, talking to her restores my mentality. In times of darkness, you are my world, When you are not here, the darkness has twirled. I one day hope I don’t act so weak, so one day I’ll speak those words I cannot speak. I found her in the playground so I could speak my words, People were silent, only the sounds of the birds. Uttering up the strength, to say I love you She touches my heart and says I love you too.
where dreams come to rest
I’ll take you to heaven, I’ll take you to delight. With you in my life, We can reach new heights. I’ll put that smile on your face, And that ring on your finger. Serenade you in the streets, For you I am a singer. And on our anniversary, I’ll take you to the moon. Where she stars feel close, I’ll walk you down the isle soon. Picking out your dress, And spending 2 years salary. I’ll take you down the wedding shops, & Visit all the expensive galleries. So on that golden day, That I pronounce you my wife. I knew things would change, You would change my life. From a life of depression, To a world of magic, The times are good, No need to be tragic. So we’re lying here, Living our dreams. Lying naked on the beach, I wish it were as it seems. Removing your Brest from my chest, The shock upon your face. Blood falls from your body, This dream falls with haste. Your former love Craig, Has come to say goodbye, Put a bullet in each of us, We are bleeding as we lie.
Emergency
Staring, my visions a blur, I reach my hand out to you, Your motionless, hand over your wound. Crawling to your hand so it can fit in mine, Reassuring you that everything will be fine. You bleed deep as do I, Reaching for your phone I dial 999. Mumbling our address and clenching my beloved’s hand, I look at my chest, blood streams from my chest like rivers. Starting to feel faint I fall to my side, Unconscious I’ve become my face lies next to hers. Ambulances sound the rush of aid is near, Lying there helpless our souls look down and stare. Eliza why did he come for us? Her murmuring suggests a story. On that day we met she broke Craig’s heart, So the key fits the lock, Like the apple fell from the tree. The new story has opened through theft, Love shaped like a bullet impregnated in both our hearts. In the ambulance the sirens bellow on, Sounds of panics raging the life supports are in. Situating in a coma our souls are crying inside, Rushed into operating rooms Hoping we won’t die. Relatives are called and are told of the emergency, Belief in their expressions express dearest sadness. As the holidays are cancelled, The sad belief is, Will we see tomorrow?
Together we have done many great things, Eliza my love for you my heart sings. From the day we met, to the day we married, To the day our bloodied bodies were carried. Looking down we see our bodies trying, The pain is cruel, our organs are crying. Your mama and papa have come to see you, My room is cold and empty, I’m lonely without you. Remember the good days like they were yesterday, Keeping hold of the dream of growing old and grey. Remember the kids we’ll make, And think of all the love we would create. But fear rushes down below as doctor’s rush to my side, As conscious as a rock, I don’t have long left alive. Watching ourselves and holding hands, You start to slip away into the distant sands. Is it my doom that I have fallen upon? Life was here and now its gone. Closing my eyes all I see is darkness, The light is fading, I see less and less. Tears are falling from my cheeks, At her bedside my heart weeps. Holding her hand for one last time, Emotional inside, I’m internally crying. Walking down the isle with a rose in my hand, Lying on your coffin, beautiful skin, lightly tanned. Placing the flower in your hand and a kiss on your lips, Stroking your hands towards your fingertips.
Only Human
The last words as you are placed in the ground, No voices in my head, I can no longer hear your sound. Kissing your grave goodnight & visiting you every morning, Scrubbing stains of your gravestone, Hugging it so you don’t feel alone. Everyday I wonder what it would be like to have you back, Counting the days without you, I will never lost track. I once remembered the story of my fathers love, Warmth of my mother, taken by the heavens above. I take some rope and tie a slippery knot, Around my head thinking how life is not worth a lot. Because where I am going is full of hopes and dreams, Where everything should be as it seems. In this world Eliza holds my hand again, There you take away al existing pain. In this world I can taste your kisses, Your scent is real, Again I can call you my misses. Walking into that sunset with the love of my life, I am a warrior, you are my scythe. 2 parts as one, May our love never be undone. Father committed suicide to see his love again, Death of a partner can drive you insane, Your heart drives you to recreate unbelievable, To make what you miss, once again believable.
Credited image sources http://mirror-uk-rb1.gallery.hd.org/_exhibits/ medicine/_more2005/_more08/sonogram-humanfoetal-fetal-ultrasound-scan-at-22-weeks-mono-1ANON.jpg http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs43/f/2009/058/4/4/ Rose_on_the_grave__by_JoX1989.jpg http://static.tumblr.com/cxlompu/wnklo9hwe/2569 52_2005663374108_1019352934_32304538_58421 10_o.jpg http://mayheincrease.com/wp-content/ uploads/2011/02/Candle-in-the-darkness.jpg
Designed, Majority of photography and Written By Christian Baranowicz Chris.gdnm.org