Old Born Yet Again

Old Born Yet Again (+ Some Events)

Chris Johnson (from TUG April 2014)

Having become a Born Again Biker at the end of 2000, and joined EAMG in 2001, life on a motorbike plodded on quite happily, despite a relocation to Sydenham early in 2007, until the start of 2011. At that point the old Johnson health started to take a nosedive, and the last EAMG outing I was able to go on was in April. I finally admitted to myself that I was not going to be riding again for a while and SORNed the bikes. Fast forward to 2013, after three operations, chemotherapy, and a whole bunch of other personal violations which were summarised by a two inch pile of documents from the NHS, and things were looking better. I had a backlog of trips abroad with my wife Mary to get through, as well as trying to resurrect my business, but as August approached it was clearly time to get back on the road again. The FJR was straightforward, but the Fireblade was by then ten years old, and its Meta alarm had died. It turned out that it had an encapsulated battery which had perished of old age and alarm replacement was the only option. An expensive home visit by an alarm technician cured that, and I also learned that the Meta 375 was providing him with good business, since they were all falling like flies in winter. If you have such an elderly alarm, and take your bike off the road over the winter, then even if you keep the battery on trickle charge you should turn on the ignition for a while periodically, since it is only when the ignition is on that the alarm battery is charged. It will delay the inevitable for a while.

I then had two bikes at my disposal again, but the rider had to be brought back into roadworthy condition. Cue a series of rides down into Kent and Surrey. I have spoken scathingly about the dull roads south of the Thames before; they have not

(Continued from page 34) improved. On one occasion in Crawley I set out in the wrong direction on, from memory, the B2110. I realised this very quickly but it seemed a good little road and so I continued going the wrong way for a dozen miles; an enjoyable stretch being such a rarity. I had expected my machine skills to be a bit rusty, but was horrified at how the tricks of forward planning and reading the road, slowly and painfully acquired over the years, seemed to have atrophied. Some additional training was going to be needed.

Before that could be arranged, Geoff Preston held his annual Beachy Head run. This was a general social run and should not be too demanding. On Sunday the 1st of September I duly rode a little nervously to the Thurrock Services for my first EAMG run in well over two years. Do you remember how the Beachy Head runs used to be? The massed ranks of bikers, the police visits to see if this was a riot or demonstration in the making, the families and camp followers tearfully assembled to wave farewell to their loved ones, Geoff dashing around like a blue-tailed fly between the three parks at Thurrock because everybody inevitably assembled in the wrong one? It is not like that anymore. I think there were fewer than ten bikes participating. It may have been a small group, but the weather was fine and Geoff did a great job with a route which eliminated almost all of the initial boring roads. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, despite the shame of having forgotten to bring my camera! The only slight downer was arriving back at my sister's birthday party so late that there was nothing left to eat except for two small cold sausages and a tiny lump of Mexican cheese.

On 23rd September I went on a day of one-to-one tuition with Chris Reed and RiderArt. Training. This was an excellent investment. We covered a couple of hundred miles of varied roads with Chris shouting advice and encouragement over the radio. His forward vision is extraordinary. How could he see that someone was pulling out into Bellamy Drive in Aber-

deen? I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Towards the end of the run Chris led and gave a running commentary about the decisions he was making which was most illuminating. The bottom line appeared to be that I was still a safe rider because, although my skills needed considerable improvement, I adjusted my pace to ride within my limitations. One happy discovery on this outing, albeit about ten years late, was that if I handled T-junctions with restricted view as slow riding exercises whilst I checked the road then I only had to put a foot down if there was something coming. Since I have sciatica which significantly affects the mobility of my left leg this was something of a lifechanging revelation.

On 6th October I ventured out to my first AGT. Dave Cardy, who I believe has organised quite a few post-AGT runs since I withdrew from active service, had arranged a very nice little run along an excellent mix of roads. What was the destination? Memory is so frail nowadays. OnthewayoutwewentthroughLeadenRoding, wherewe were waved into a car park by police for a compulsory Bikesafe introduction. Dave had a serious word with those there, and got permission for us to proceed, which was a complete waste of time because the moment they saw the free burger van his group had dismounted with great alacrity and clustered round it to place their orders. They were very good burgers indeed and everyone agreed, as they brushed off the crumbs, that Bikesafe were doing a really great job. The weather was good but the day did end under a bit of a cloud, because on the return journey a bend on an unclassified near Debden decided to bite back. Nothing really serious, and since I was up near the head of the group when it happened and did not see the incident I shall draw a discrete veil over it. It was defi-

nitely a victory for the home team, with a final score of Bushes 2 - Bikes 0, and effectively ended the run.

Since it looked as if my days of biking out on main roads to visit clients were pretty much over, I was starting to take a long, cold look at the FJR1300. It was not really a bike that I had ever loved. It did its main job as a comfortable mile-muncher well enough, but it was a heavy old lump which needed hard work in the twisties, even after I had Power Commandered its quirky low throttle behaviour into submission. The illness had taught me that, since tomorrow is uncertain, living for today had a lot to recommend it. Perhaps a V-twin would be fun after half a lifetime of inline fours? I liberated a slice of cash which had been meant to keep me in extreme old age and went off to try a Ducati Multistrada. It fell at the first hurdle because with my Irish build (very long back and stubby little legs) I couldn't get the balls of both feet securely planted on the ground. Off for a test ride on an Aprilia Caponord. Superbly comfortable active suspension, but it felt a bit gutless and had a taint of the scooter about it. Finally I crossed the street to try a KTM 1190 Adventure, which was not a bike I had initially considered. The test ride on that revealed that it felt like a real motorbike, and in mid-November I took delivery of one. With all the trick accessories like electronic suspension, heated grips and a full set of luggage it was far from cheap. I admired how rugged it looked with its aluminium panniers and then promptly consigned them to the cupboard under the stairs for the day when I might possibly need them. When filtering in London you want to keep the bike as narrow as possible and the topbox alone is adequate.

Choice of motorbike is not always logical. Why on earth would I choose a bike noted for its off-road pedigree when the only off-roading I am likely to do would be inadvertent, and involve travelling through a hedge? TUG also has a record of the scorn I poured on the BMW 1200GS when it started to be popular, with references to 'comedy bikes' and 'motorised penny farthings' (I think Keith has forgiven me for this, I am not sure that in his heart Simon has, despite his protestations to the contrary). If you have an

answer to this conundrum then please let me know, because I am damned if I do. Nevertheless, as I get to know the KTM I get the increasing feeling that it is, like the Blade, one of the rare bikes that can be trusted to do what it is told to do and give no surprises, so perhaps there is a greater truth to stumble onto beyond that which mere logic dictates. I felt a bit sorry for the poor little Fireblade. After two years in mothballs it thought that life had started again, and then along came this new upstart which seemed to be favoured, using excuses like 'running in' and 'getting used to the new bike', and it was returned to a gloomy loneliness back on the trickle charger. Be brave, old friend, your time in the sun will come again!

The KTM got its first outing with the Group at Richard's Full Member run to St Ives on the 1st December. Since I was running it in Geoff kindly allowed me to act as back marker, but in the event it seemed to keep up well enough. There were about ten of us and with a stop on the outward leg at Red Lodge, and the ever reliable Local Cafe at our destination, we were well fed and watered. Although it did not rain it was a grey, greasy sort of day, and many complained about the slipperiness of the roads. I was gratified that I did not notice this but whether that was due to cautious riding, the inherent good qualities of the bike, or subtle intervention by its traction control I do not know.

We were now edging into winter. Just in case you hadn't noticed, December was very wet, January was even wetter, and February to time of writing has not been much better. The only plus was that we had less frost and ice than usual. The bike got so dirty after an outing that even I, a stout proponent of the protective qualities of a thick layer of grime, took to hosing

it down on return. On the 28th of December Chris Reed organised a cobweb-buster run to the Comfort Cafe. It was a sunny day but Chris stuck to fairly major roads because the general conditions were not good. There were about fifteen of us, and the run ended at the Birchanger Services. It was during this run that the bike reached its 1000km point. Good news, because the ECU then decided not to flash a large red warning light at me as soon as the revs reached 6500. Bad news, because it also decided that it needed a service and kept reminding me about it incessantly. It had been serviced a little earlier, but they had forgotten to plug in a computer and record the fact. It appears that I have acquired not just a new bike, but a new mother-in-law. Mixed feelings about this. In the good old days bikes may have broken down every hundred miles or so, but at least they didn't nag you. I guess it also means that I have to get it serviced by the dealer and not my little man down the road, whose realistic 'that is good for a few more miles yet' attitude has been such a financial comfort to me.

Richard announced a ride at short notice for the 5th January. Possibly too short a notice, because I think he ended up being both leader and back marker. A week later he planned another attempt on what would have been the date of the January AGT if we had AGT's in January. The forecast was for frost so the start was delayed until 10:30. In the event he cancelled on the Forum at 09:00 because of icy roads, but by that time I had left Sydenham to allow for a cautious journey up to Chelmsford. Four others had also missed the cancellation, so we had a pleasant natter in the sun at Sainsbury's until Jill phoned in to say the ride would not take place. Nobody could really decide on a destination for an impromp

tu ride so I ended up going back home by a circuitous route. My total journey door to door was over 100 miles so I was not too disappointed with the outing.

We had an AGT on the 9th February. I was disconcerted by being the second to arrive, and initially thought that it must have been cancelled. Bikes gradually started to dribble in, but it wasn't until Jill arrived on her CB500, parked in the middle of the group of bikes, and then apologised for lowering the tone that we realised that all the other machines were expensive Adventure variants. We may have been a bit slow on the uptake but we rallied with suggestions that she should have parked at the far end of the road. The AGT was a Q&A session. It included Geoff rather naughtily asking about speed in the Nationals. In the Good Old Days the mantra was that you should obey posted limits and adjust your speed in the Nationals to be appropriate to the road conditions and hazard levels. Nowadays the cold hand of bureaucracy grips the heart of the biking fraternity ever tighter, and it is politically impossible for a club dignitary even to imply that you can ever exceed the NSL, so the plainly unhappy panel had to stick to the official line in their response. After the run the full members looked meaningfully at me. Now my knowledge of the geography of East Anglia was always shaky at the best of times, and after a long period off the road had developed some appalling lacunae (that is a posh word for large gaps), but fortunately I had taken advantage of a fine day the previous week to take a trip out to Sudbury. I accordingly suggested a trip to Sudbury, with the polite hope that we could find a cafe there. This was acceptable, and so five of us set out to Finchingfield, where two left to go home. Whilst there I asked Stephen Green what the impressive panel of buttons on the fairing of his BMW did. "I haven't the faintest idea" was his reply. We proceeded through Wethersfield to the Hedinghams and joined the A131 just short of Sudbury. At that point Stephen, who had a SatNav, was appointed leader to find us a cafe. I cannot complain about his route, which took us along a bunch of unclassifieds I have never ridden before, but it did bring

us back to the A131 very close to our starting point. The second attempt was more successful, and we parked outside a Cafe Nero. I hopefully pointed out that there was a Starburger fifty yards up the road but it seemed we were taking the up-market option. After expensive coffee we returned to Finchingfield, where the run ended.

Chris Reed had been less than complimentary about the appearance of my trusty Caberg helmet, and regaled me with stories about people who had been unable to find their helmets because cruel friends had cleaned them in their absence. Removing the grime from the Caberg would have taxed Hercules, even when flushed with his success at the Augean stables, and it was showing its age in other respects, so I decided that a new bike merited a new helmet. I accordingly went to the MCN bike show at Excel (it was packed) and got a 'show price' on a blindingly white Nolan N104 Evo. I rather glumly checked online afterwards to see how much less I would have paid, but it turned out that the 'show price' was a good one. I also bought yet another HiVis waistcoat (my wife will eventually work out that such jackets are for me what handbags are for her), a pair of bargain basket gloves which turned out to fit well and be very comfortable, and got a free neck tube which also turned out to be excellent quality, so I was well pleased with the visit. I will confess that the release mechanisms for the helmet flip front and chin strap were so subtle that the first time I tried it on at home I was trapped in it until I could get to a mirror and see what I should be pressing and pulling. I had hoped to get some new earplugs of the 'half lollipop on a stick' variety, but none were on sale. Some years ago Richard Parker and I were given a bunch of these by Stuart, who had bought a large pack and then realised that he would need more than a century to get through them. I am now down to my last three. I will admit that they look a little grubby. Richard used to be scathing about this, and I was suitably humiliated, until I saw that he licked his before inserting them. If that was how he kept them clean I preferred grubby. I console myself with the thought that by now they must resemble fitted earplugs, and the extra wax probably knocks a further 3dB off the noise level.

Family commitments meant that I had to miss Richard's Full Member run on 23rd February; a shame since the reports on the Forum indicate that it was well-attended and enjoyable, although they fell short of supplying any hard detail about it. Instead I had to be satisfied with a couple of days visiting clients in Bedfordshire and Buckinghamshire The KTM proved perfectly adequate for that sort of business mileage. However a reluctance to turn over on starting came to a head on the evening of the March EAMG Group Night, when it would not start at all. All the symptoms of a flat battery, even though it had been used regularly and had no alarm to drain the battery when garaged. Scrolling through its menus finally brought up a display showing battery voltage at 11.9 volts. Discharged battery. It seems that the additional load of heated grips and jacket was more than the alternator could supply. I finally persuaded the bike to start, and rode out to Chelmsford without any heated comfort aids. It was chilly, but the battery voltage was back up to 13.8 volts by the time I got to Channels. On the way back it was cold enough for the bike to be flashing an ice warning at me, and despite having put on the emergency clothing layers I keep in the top box it was very chilly. I have a spare conditioning charger so once I have organised a suitable plug for it the problem should go away, particularly if the warmer weather of Spring appears. That will not stop me complaining to KTM about a gutless alternator. (Editor: In hindsight this was optimistic. Chargers, and even a new battery, did little to help the reluctance to start in cold weather. Currently I have a heater on a timer in the bike shed, which I activate when I am due out on a run the next day. It is not a complete solution but it helps a bit)

I learned at the Group Night that we have finally got a new editor for TUG, and that he is planning to issue an April edition, so it is time to put this rambling article to bed. I wish him luck, and sincerely hope that he can shake out a few more contributions from the members. (Editor: In his dreams!)

Further Training Opportunities for Full Members

EAMG FMT & AMT - 2020

1st January 2020 celebrated EAMG’s fifteen years of independence enabling the Group to draw upon the most appropriate riding techniques to meet the training needs of our members, without having to accommodate restrictions imposed by a governing body. With independence, came the responsibility to ensure our training standards progressed and maintained at the highest level.

EAMG Observers fulfill a crucial role within the Group. All are required to hold a current RoSPA Gold qualification before they can be considered for observer training. Once qualified, Observers are re-tested internally every two years by one of four Senior Observer Assessors (SOA’s) who, in turn, are re-tested externally every two years by Police Class: 1 riders. Full Members and Associates can therefore be assured that EAMG’s training is of the highest standard. EAMG; ‘Promoting Motorcycling Excellence’.

Full Member Training (FMT)

FMT format allows greater focus on many aspects of advanced motorcycling over longer distances on less familiar roads. Make no mistake, passing an advanced motorcycle test is an excellent achievement but it’s only a measure of your riding standard on test day. Riding skills require continued practice to be retained or they will sadly be lost.

Associate Member Training (AMT)

Similar training courses are now available for Associate Members who may be approaching test standard, have been recommended to apply by their 1 to 1 Observers or those familiar with riding greater distances than covered on a typical Observed ride. Associates will be encouraged to make their most recent Ride Report Forms available to ensure the Observer on the day has the necessary information to identify needs and address any issues that may be apparent..

Ride Format

Duration of rides will be circa 200 mls for Full Members and 100-120 mls for Associates. Regular stops, most including refreshments, will include debriefs so that issues identified can be addressed during subsequent legs. We will NOT be riding in one large group. Allocation will usually be on a 2 to 1 basis to avoid continuous Observation. Every effort will be

made to match riding ability and/or aspirations. Routes will be pre-planned and forwarded to all participants beforehand. Initial briefing will be comprehensive and a full Ride Report Form will be provided.

2020 Events Joining Fees Please note that this program is suspended for the duration of the pandemic!

FMT—(£45) AMT—(£35)

Sunday, October 18th

Register by completing and returning this form to: John Tipper Email: john@reveillerrides.co.uk Tel: 0208 360 8590 or Mbl: 07860 773711 Pay direct to Sort Code: 30-96-94 a/c no: 00791646 Ref: FMT or AMT + your name Cash or Cheques payable to Essex Advanced Motorcyclists Group Ltd on the day

Name:

Address:

Postcode:

Email:

Riding Experience Aspirations: Annual Mileage: Tel:

Machine:

Membership Secretary

Paula Hockey membership@eamg.org.uk

FTFM - 2020

Observer Co-ordinator

John Tullett training@eamg.org.uk Additional Membership Fee

£20 pa Contribution to Observer

£10 per ride

Chris Johnson, Editor Printed by Colchester Press. Please mention EAMG when replying to advertisers - it identifies you!

http://www.eamg.org.uk

Affiliated to the British Motorcyclists Federation Registered Charity Number 1107703

Essex Advanced Motorcyclists Group Ltd, Registered Office, St Laurence House, 2 Gridiron Place, Upminster, Essex, RM14 2BE Registered in England & Wales, Registration No. 5258261

Disclaimer and Copyright Notice: The articles published herein do not necessarilyrepresent the views of the Essex Advanced Motorcyclists Group. They are the opinions of individual contributors and are published with a view that free expression promotes discussion and interest. Any spelling or grammatical errors are the responsibility of the editor .. Inclusion of adverts is not to be construed as EAMG endorsement, although most advertisers are excellent, but seek personal recommendations.Text © EAMG 2020 Illustrations © EAMG 2020, except where indicated otherwise. Group material may be reproduced provided acknowledgement is given to EAMG and the original author.

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