Chrissy O’Donnell
Papaw My papaw was the smartest, kindest, most gentle soul I have ever known. A true southern gentleman whose voice was warm and kind and sometimes strong and stern when (he needed to be) but never in a way that sounded angry. No matter the words coming out of his mouth, he sounded like love. J.D. O’Donnell was a small town pastor who came from a long line of pastors. Born in 1929, he was a product of the Great Depression. But that didn’t stop him from becoming a college graduate at University of Alabama. He later helped build and establish a college for the Freewill Baptists. He knew how to fly planes (even survived a small plane crash), could build anything by hand, wrote and published books, and worked on crossword puzzles until the day he died so his mind would stay sharp. Education was everything to him. As a little girl I lived with my grandparents. Looking back, these were the best times of childhood. My papaw adored me. He always wanted a little girl but had only boys with his previous wife. Working as a small town pastor meant that he could spend almost all his time with me. We’d play outside at the park or in the tree house he built for me. On Sunday evenings after the sermons, church luncheons, and other general pastor business was through, he would let me sit on his lap to read the newspaper’s Sunday cartoon strips. They were the best because on Sunday the cartoons were several pages and in color. I would nestle up in his lap in my PJ’s and he would read them to me in fun and silly cartoon voices. From fancy lady voices to deep manly voices, or goofy voices, anything to make me giggle. He was never afraid to be loving and silly, unlike many men from his generation.
Chrissy O’Donnell
Sometimes we’d be in the kitchen and he’d bump me with hips while saying “move along little dog, big dog is coming in.” Or he’d come into a room doing a silly dance singing “Say heeey good lookin’, “whatcha got cookin’? “How’s about cookin’ somethin’ up with meee.” I didn’t know much about music beyond church gospel and bluegrass but we’d dance and sing-along to Roger Miller albums. Roger Miller had this silly, fun, but classic honky tonk style to his music. To this day, I can hear our favorite tunes and I’m pulled back to those moments in the kitchen with my papaw. The one and only time I remember getting in trouble with him was when I negotiated myself into a whoopin. Granny later said he was actually just hitting his hand for sound effects but my little feelings were bruised. I remember it like it was yesterday but Granny also reminds me every time I go for a visit. I’d already had my bath and I was standing in the kitchen in my nightgown with my hair still wet. I saw that he had buttermilk which I was convinced would taste sweet and delicious and I wanted it. Not just a taste; a whole glass. Obviously he tried to talk me out of it but I – at probably 4 or 5 years old – knew best. “Chrissy,” Pawpaw had told me. “Buttermilk doesn’t taste the way you think it tastes. How about you try a little before we waste a whole glass full?”. I, being the all knowing toddler, said “No papaw. I want a full glass.” “Now Chrissy, if I pour you a whole glass, you're not gonna like it and we’re gonna have to throw it out.” “I don’t believe you. I want a full glass.” “Ok,” he finally said.. “I’ll pour you a glass BUT if you don’t drink it all you’re gonna get a whoopin’. Do you still want a whole glass?”
Chrissy O’Donnell
“Yep!” “You’re sure?” He asked again. “Yep.” My excitement had finally won...or so I had thought. Papaw poured me a full glass of thick buttermilk. I took one sip and instantly cried out: “I DON’T WANT A SPANKING!!” Papaw just said, “I told you. You made a deal.” Even though I lost that battle, I don’t remember feeling like I had angered him. He never had to raise his voice to get his point across. Instead he would explain to me what I had done wrong and why it was wrong. His tone was more of the, I’m not mad but I’m disappointed, type which was WAY more effective. Disappointing Papaw was the ultimate devastation. One of his final and greatest acts of kindness and unconditional love was when I finally decided to come out to my grandparents. I was trembling as I picked up the phone. My granny answered the and the words clumsily stumbled out of my mouth. Voice cracking, nearly choking on the fear in my throat that was holding back tears. I could hear the hesitancy in her response when she asked “Are you sure?” “Yes Granny, I’m sure” I answered. I’m not sure how we hung but I remember feeling unsure of what was going to come next. Just a few minutes later she called me back to give their official response. According to her, she had immediately turned to Papaw and repeated what she had just heard. She said that without missing a beat he told her that they were to continue to love me unconditionally and not to make a fuss. I never actually heard him speak
Chrissy O’Donnell
directly to me on the issue but the love in his voice when speaking to me never faltered.