Challenging Faith

CHALLENGING Faith Transform your thoughts for a better life

By Joel Lund

Being Priceless

How do you measure your worth? The chances are, you don’t value yourself all that highly. How could I say that? Evidence. Lots and lots of evidence. No, no, I am not stalking you. Nothing like that. The evidence isn’t specifically about you. But there’s still loads of evidence that you don’t value yourself highly. And, no, I’m not referring to your self-esteem, although that is part of where this is going.

Let’s Start at the Start

Here’s one definition of “self-concept”: “A self-concept is a collection of beliefs about one’s own nature, unique qualities, and typical behavior. Your self-concept is your mental picture of yourself. It is a collection of self-perceptions. For example, a self-concept might include such beliefs as ‘I am easygoing’ or ‘I am pretty’ or ‘I am hardworking.’” (Weiten, Dunn, & Hammer, 2012)

Most of us would probably use terms like those above when we de- scribe ourselves to others. In my case, I lean slightly to “introverted.” I am a bit too “hardworking.” And I am “relentlessly creative.”

However, I, like you, also do just what you do. And you, like me, do it way more than you would believe: You think negatively. Almost all the time, in fact.

I wish I was kidding. Truly. Here’s some evidence for you: • Your prefrontal cortex (also known as your thinking brain) doesn’t mature until you are around 25 years old. Until then, fears, negative beliefs and self-imposed limitations are pretty much programmed into you without your involvement.

• So, many of your behaviors were learned by the time you were 12. Think about that for a moment. Did you have mostly positive inputs in your childhood?

• Your mind processes, on average, between 50,000-70,000 thoughts per day. Yep, that means you churn through 35-48 thoughts per minute.

• Research shows that roughly 95 percent of your thoughts are just like the ones you had the day before and the day before that. They are habitual thoughts. • For most people, 80 percent of those habitual thoughts are negative. So, if we assume that your normal thought flow is, say, 60,000 per day, then 48,000 of them are negative. Per day. Per. Day. • Um, yeah. This is sobering stuff. • But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Creating a New Start

At the time of this writing, we just celebrated Easter. It is the most important day in the church year for good reason. It has everything to do with newness. With becoming alive. Easter is about transformation, from death to life. On Easter, believers all over the world declare that we are made new through the resurrection of Jesus. Paul encourages us to “put off your old self” and “be made new in the attitude of your minds” as a response to this Good News (Eph. 4:22-23). Well, what does this include? It means that we can experience transformation — real change— in our lives, starting right now. We can crimp those negative spin-cycles we put ourselves through. And, as believers, we really need to actively, gleefully and passionately take charge of what our minds are marinating in.

Four Steps to a Better Outlook

There are four simple things you can start doing today to assist the Spirit in redeeming your mind: 1. Recognize that much of your view of the world is framed in stories. And most of those are negative because you were unable to filter them because you were young. Your thinking brain hadn’t come online yet. If someone said something critical of you, like, “You’re stupid!” or similarly hurtful comments, you simply accepted them as true. So, many of your stories about yourself are flat wrong. 2. Choose to activate your brain to your advantage. You can! Nothing is locked down. It is possible to create new, positive pathways.

3. Lean in to positive thoughts, ideas and images. There is no better place to go than Scripture and great devotionals, first thing in the morning.

4. Do things that promote happiness in you and those around you. Action is tremendously important for changing your behavior patterns and habits.

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Once Upon a Time

Let’s apply what we have learned so far from a real life event: The Great Recession.

The Great Recession brought new careers to millions of people. Some were able to choose their new career. Others had no choice.

Many circled back to a dream they held when they were younger. Often, they engaged in a deliberate transition from their old “world” to their new one. For others, the transition was all at once.

In all cases, how they valued themselves was challenged. Does my paycheck determine my value? Am I worthless because I was fired? What else can I do? Am I too old to start something new? You can see how unchecked negative thinking would make everything harder.

When life throws disruption at us, we have three options: move away from it, move towards something else, or don’t move.

It is better, whenever possible, to move towards your dream. This is a much better way to initiate change in your life, especially when it results in major change. Moving towards is positive, full of hope and powered by vision. Another option is operating from a move away from motivation. Moving away from is negative, fueled by regret and powered by frustration. Both work. But one works better, faster, and has much better staying-power, because it is built on hope and belief in a better you. Your last option is to do nothing. And it is a tempting option. Because when push comes to shove, moving towards something unknown is harder than not moving and just accepting things as they are (even when you are terribly frustrated about how things are). Moving towards something new — something better — takes faith, guts and grit. It requires stepping into a dimly lit future. It means you set sail into uncharted waters. And to do that, you have to leave the safety of your harbor.

But it’s worth it. Because, really, what’s your alternative? Well, the alternative is 48,000 negative thoughts every day and things staying the same. Get To Or Got To

So which one will you be? Intrepid adventurer, setting sail for a better future? Or are you going to remain a tepid, armchair complainer?

Sometimes, when you’re in a negative spin-cycle, you feel like you have got to do things the way you always have. Not true. You get to choose. “I’ve got to” thinking means staying stuck. “I get to” thinking allows abundance, freedom and opportunity.

And you get to choose your path. Choose boldly. Think positively. Move towards. n Joel is a certified master coach, business strategist, and author. Most importantly, he’s worked with a lot of people just like you. Chat with him. There’s no charge. Schedule here: http://bit.ly/Curious-PFR. Joel Lund

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FIVE Key Tips How to fight and beat bitterness

26 March / April 2020 | Christian Living www.christianlivingmag.com By Bethany Riehl

“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled...” — Hebrews 12:15 Bitterness. It is such a sneaky little weed. It curls upward and outward. When given light and nourishment, it spreads its roots like clover, interweaving across our lives and imbedding in our hearts. Bitterness can cause so much pain. All of us have been wronged at some point in our lives, some of us by those we love most, whether they be our spouse, our parents, friends, or even children. In this fallen world there is no shortage of pain and hurt. I’ve been thinking of things that I’m trying to do (and things I’ve failed to do) to keep bitterness from taking root and wreaking havoc on my life and the lives of those around me. I’ve narrowed my scattered thoughts into five key ways to combat bitterness. I hope this can help you today, my friend. 1. Pray. Pray for those who have hurt you. Even if it starts as, “Lord, this person is awful. I can’t find love for them in my heart...” Allow God to take your prayer and turn it into caring for the person you are angry with. Repeat daily — hourly if necessary — until it doesn’t hurt to pray for this person any longer.

2. In your anger do not sin. It is so easy when someone has wronged us to justify hurting them back. Being mistreated is not an open invitation to misbehave in any capacity. Angry words heaved at someone without regard for how they will jab and damage, retaliation for the hurt, spreading lies or gossip about the one we’re angry with — all are without excuse. Nothing that is done to you justifies sinning yourself. You and you alone are responsible for your actions. 3. Grieve. Mourn. Pout. And be ready to stop when it’s time. I once experienced a season of pouting after a serious hurt in my life. My particular expression of pouting was eating ice cream and watching TV during naptime instead of getting anything done. I cried, oh how I cried. I avoided my Bible (red flag, friends!). I kept things picked up, but failed to be on top of real housework; our laundry pile was simply appalling. And our gracious Lord let me pout for a good, long time. Until one evening while my husband was at work, God made it very clear to me that enough was enough.

After I put my kids to bed, I was once again headed for the ice cream when bits of a passage from Deuteronomy 30 hit me like lightning: “Moreover, the LORD your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, to love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live...For this commandment which I command you today is not too difficult for you, nor is it out of reach...See I have set before you today life and prosperity, and death and adversity...I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him...”

This was my moment with the Lord. He might do it differently for you. But this passage kept coming back to me over and over for the next week (God is repetitive when He wants you to pay attention), and it was clear to me that it was time to stop pouting and to cling tightly to Him. It did not mean that the pain was over, but my giving into it needed to be.

4. Keep your hurt private, but not completely to yourself. There is equal danger in keeping your hurt to yourself and in oversharing. A few trusted friends can go a long way in healing. Dealing with hurt alone can lead to bitterness because there is no one outside of your own shattered thoughts to speak wisdom to you. But, in the same way, talking to the wrong person can be detrimental to whatever relationship you’re working on. There is a sick side of humanity that likes things to be broken, that finds sport in others’ misery. It makes us feel better about our own problems. Family will naturally want to side with the one they love and in general be offended for you. Nothing but nothing helps bitterness grow like one of your own agreeing with you in your anger.

The best kind of friend or loved one is one that will listen and hurt with you without nourishing your resentment. They will pray with you, speak Scripture to you, hug you, and encourage the healing of your relationship. They will not bash the one that hurt you.

I think in this same category I can touch on guarding your relationship. This might involve skipping out on certain outings because faking happiness isn’t going to be a good call. I will warn you now that friends and family won’t always understand this, but it is just a season and they will survive. Sometimes healing a relationship, especially a marriage, is more important than making those outside of it happy.

5. Examine yourself and repent. A friend of mine once said something incredibly profound that greatly resonated with me. She shared with me the impact pornography has had on her marriage and with great grace she said, “I have done more damage to my marriage with the seemingly small daily slights than my husband has done in one big blow.” Ouch. I had to really take that in and think on it. Even if we are hurting from something big, the offender is almost never alone in his or her sin. My favorite marriage quote that I think can extend to friends and family and anyone that you might be tempted to be bitter against is this: “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” — Ruth Bell Graham

Bitterness is something we rarely think about these days except in the context of the right balance of flavors in a meal. And therein lies a danger. It is a silent cancer that eats away at the most wonderful relationships, weakening love and forgiveness and grace before you even realize it’s there. If we can but stop it before it spreads, we can conquer so much.

“Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” — Psalm 34:14 n Bethany Riehl loves to write stories and articles that explore the complexities of relationships and encourage readers in their relationship with Jesus. She joyfully serves in the children’s ministry at her church, teaches at a homeschool co-op, and drinks more coffee than necessary to keep up with her only-slightly-crazy life. She is the author of four Christian fiction novels and now lives in Meridian with her spunky kids and very handsome hubby. Bethany Riehl

FIREFIGHTERS fellowship FCFI serves firefighters across the globe

By Gaye Bunderson

Where would countries and communities be without their firefighters? It’s no joke to say they’d literally be up in smoke. Firefighters exist all over the world. To help meet the spiritual needs of these brave men and women, a group of firefighters in Denver started a faithbased organization in 1977 they called the Fellowship of Christian Firefighters International. Its current president / missionary is Craig Duck. A resident of Virginia, he travels the globe launching fellowships for firefighters wherever there is interest.

Why would anyone want to be a firefighter, with all the heat, the smoke, the damage and the danger?

“To be honest, it starts when you’re a child and you see the firetrucks going by with their sirens blaring, lights flashing, and going through red lights,” Duck said.

Duck started out as a volunteer firefighter in 1981 in a small community in Upstate New York, where his dad was a volunteer. In 1986, he was hired as a Washington, D.C. fireman and detailed to a firehouse. It was there he met FCFI member Don Biggs and got involved in the fellowship. He worked as a firefighter for 28 years and rose to the rank of lieutenant. Now retired, he was named president of FCFI in 2012.

The organization would like to have a fellowship in every state in the U.S. and currently has 33 local fellowships across the country. Being a firefighter is a time-honored tradition in America. “George Washington was a volunteer firefighter, as were 5 founding fathers,” Duck said.

There are also FCIF chapters in countries such as Kenya, Zambia, Ukraine, and Canada.

“People say, ‘Faith in the fire service — what’s the big deal?’ Having a group like ours provides hope, the opportunity to talk things through. There are increasing rates of divorce and suicide among firefighters. Having a faith-based group helps people cope with things like that and helps communities to keep good firefighters,” Duck said. He explained that fighting fires and being a fireman are not like a television show, with all the storylines of success and saving people and being heroes all the time. In actual firefighting scenarios, not everything turns out well.

“It’s worse now than in the past; you have school shootings, fire fatalities, auto accidents that involve fire and fatalities, medical-related calls. ... Firefighters are called out to all of these; less than 20 percent of what we do involves just fires,” said Duck.

“You’re going to be nervous, mostly after the fact — when you’re fighting a fire, you’re focused on that mission.” But firefighters may experience PTSD following some of the more harrowing things they witness, according to Duck. Faith and fellowship can be helpful and healing.

Local fellowships can be run in a way that suits that fire department. Some may meet once a month, some more often. “We encourage Bible study for group members,” Duck said. And many local members get together for breakfast once a week. There are also big events, such as a married couples conference, family programs, and a line-of-duty memorial for fallen firefighters.

FCFI maintains a website at fellowshipofchristianfirefighters.org, where they offer daily devotionals and a firefighter-specific Bible titled, “Rescued: The Holy Bible — A Bible for First Responders”, and sponsor a Bible ministry, giving free Bibles to fire stations. The website reads: “Currently in the United States there are 1.4 million firefighters who serve in over 50,000 stations. Pray with us as we would like to be able to get a copy of the Bible in every one of those stations.”

FCFI members are available to speak at churches, and that may be set up through the website; there is also information about starting a local fellowship. A guiding Scripture of FCFI is Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”

FCFI has a very active Facebook page, with 6,000 members, and an app called Christian Firefighter Hub that has been downloaded 1,300 times. The “hub” brings together other fellowships, such as Firefighters for Christ, into a single app to facilitate shared faith, according to Duck.

Duck is a big proponent of praying for first responders, so the next time you hear or see a firetruck, don’t forget to hold those fire fighters up in prayer, whether or not they are believers. And don’t forget: Our communities need them and they need the support of their communities. n Craig Duck may be reached at FCFImissionary@gmail.com. Firefighters around the world work to keep others safe. The Fellowship of Christian Firefighters International helps them stay grounded in the faith. (Courtesy photo)