Vessel’s Note I would like to take the time to thank God for this awesome idea. I love writing and am blessed to be able to put different thoughts on paper to share with others. In starting the first issue I allowed other people’s opinions to extinguish my fire that God placed in me. And then I sat wondering why I wasn’t going anywhere. What was my ministry? And God said, “I already gave it to you but you sat it aside.” So now I’m back at it. Hope you enjoy the 2nd issue. God Bless. Hit me at lilnycama2002@yahoo.com
Celibate or Settle (Compromise) (Celibate- Abstaining from sex.)
It all started one day at church (Lighthouse Cathedral) while I was sitting amongst the “single ladies” and we were discussing being single and celibacy. Here is a story from one of the girls.
In a society where sex is promoted through music, movies, T.V., clothing, books, and just about everywhere you look…how can you become and remain celibate? That’s one of questions that women wonder. Becoming celibate was not an easy thing for me to do. I cohabited in a relationship for three years, and sex was something done consistently. However, my desire to be right before God became stronger then my desire to be sexually gratified. It took a lot of prayer and spending a lot of time alone with God. Why did I want to have sex? That would be one of the questions you would have to ask
yourself, why do you want to? Get down to the root of the issue. Some people have sex to feel wanted and accepted, others for money, and some out of just raw lust. Is a moment of something “feeling good” worth all the consequences that comes with it; spiritual, emotional, and physical? Absolutely not. Having sex outside the marriage is not pleasing to God, and grieves the Holy Spirit. There are many scriptures on the lust C.I.U
of the flesh and sexual immorality. Galatians 5:19-21 says that people that live like this will not inherit the Kingdom of God. A few minutes of “pleasure” is not worth an eternity in hell. Not only does it break God’s heart when we sin, there’s heartache attached to having sex. The feeling that you gave your all to someone only for them to hurt you, discard you, or cheat on you with someone else, is painful. Before Christ I had some key your car up and throw a brick experiences. We are all well aware of the physical risk of sex, although some of us walk around as if it cannot happen to us. As if pregnancy and STD’s are just something that only happens to certain people. I know I am not prepared to raise a baby nor do I want a STD, and no contraceptive is 100%. Some STD’s left untreated can cause a woman not to be able to have children in the future. Once again it’s just not worth it. The only thing that I find to be worth it, is myself, that I’m worth waiting for. Every woman should feel that way, that you are worth a man taking you to be his wife before giving him you. The media constantly displays women as sex symbols in advertisements and videos, yet we are worth way more than that. People can only treat you how you allow them to treat you, and how you treat yourself. When you love and respect Page 2
yourself, you raise your standards because you know your worth. You are worth more than a one night stand or any sex without a marriage commitment. When you seek God you will find your worth and identity in Him. Hot tears of disappointment in me after having sex became a thing of the past, when I realized my worth. Any man that treats you beneath your worth is not worth your time. 10 Tips to Not Have Sex Pray. When you feel tempted to call boo or to go somewhere to do something you have no business doing, pray. The more you focus on God the less you will focus on the flesh. Keep yourself out of situations where you will be tempted. If going over a guy’s house to watch a movie puts you in a situation where you will be tempted to have sex, don’t go. Go out to the movies.
If you are going to date, be around someone that has the same goals and an evident relationship with God. If both of you are trying to remain celibate, it removes peer pressure. And if at times you feel you want to the other persons “no” can help you. Think of the consequences. Is it worth it? Is it worth sinning? What if you get an STD or end up pregnant? Is it worth it? Absolutely not.
Don’t start something you will be tempted to finish. Any sexual contact is sexual immorality. “All the way” is just as bad as touching in places to stimulate one another or yourself. Sin starts in your mind, with your thoughts. Cast down the imagination. Don’t entertain the thoughts of sex through fantasies because they can become your actions. Avoid watching movies that have a lot of sexual content or reading books with a lot of sexual content. Don’t focus on what you can’t do as a Christian woman, think of all the things that you can do. The longer time went on without having sex, the less I thought of it. And I began to fill my life with other things, positive things. Get a purity ring. After putting a ring on my hand I began to really view God as my Spiritual Husband. And my purity band became a physical reminder of the spiritual promise. Just like a married woman that wouldn’t cheat on her husband, I refuse to cheat on my Spiritual Husband.
Nashana Hickman- Author of Breaking Free Staying Free, due to be released Febuary 20, 2011.
If you have a friend that’s also celibate, it gives you someone to pray with, and also someone that will hold you accountable.
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The Single Christian Woman By Leria Felix History I was born in the Virgin Islands, so living in Pittsburgh is a challenge because of the cultural differences. I’ve been a resident of Pittsburgh for four years. And of those four, two I’ve been saved. For me, being saved means to be holy, inside and out. I try to dress saved, think saved, talk saved, act saved until it becomes a lifestyle. It’s not easy. Although I was raised in church, I wasn’t saved all my life. And even now, I struggle. I struggle with motherho od, with my singleness, with my churchliness, and with my testimony. I don’t exactly remember what day, but it was August of 2008 I gave the Lord my life. Earlier that year, I struggled with depression because of a bad relationship that wouldn’t end. From that to being someone’s rebound, at least that’s what it felt like at the time. To be clear, the bad relationship was not the only reason why I was depressed. My daughter was in the Virgin Islands. And I knew practically no one in Pittsburgh. I do have a sister in the state, but at that time, we were at odds with each other. So yes, this was a very bad situation. My year started looking up, I started school. And as good as that is, I was about 5 or 6 years older than C.I.U
almost all of my class mates, so I felt old. Working and going to school fulltime. What a challenge. Got Saved I still remember the reason I started going to Lighthouse Cathedral. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was on my way to Family Dollar to buy junk food to fix one of my moods. And right there on the corner by the big clock, there was music, people and food. I stood across the street by the store’s gate and watch two young boys minister through mime. There were so many young people across the street, I just had to stop and watch. While I was watching, a lady started across the street. She introduced herself to me as Sister Linda and spoke to me about Jesus. I told her that I was raised in church so I know about Jesus. And she encouraged me to come to church. I said that I would try to make it since I lived in the neighborhood. Before I could even think, we were heading across the street where she introduced me to Ronisha. Roni lived around Mt. Oliver, and would be able to help me get to church. Roni and I exchanged phone numbers. The next day, I was in church. It was a couple weeks before I got saved. Marvin Sapp’s “Never would have made it” was playing. That day, I told the Lord that my life was his. My heart, body, and soul. It’s two plus years now and I’m still saved. Staying Saved Staying saved meant that I had to let go of a lot of my old ways. No more clubbing with my friends kind of tough because I love to dance. No more taking sips Page 5
of alcohol, that one was easy because I was never really a drinker. No more cursing, again, kind of easy. No more sex. Yeah, that one was a dozy. You see, sex is more than just the act. Before the act, there is a thought and before the thought, there is the “situation”. And then after the act, comes the consequences. Have you ever heard of a soul tie? Well, GOD created sex for specific reasons, for procreation but also for married couple to remain close to each other. When you have sex, you end up sharing your soul with someone. IF you are not married to this person, then you are sharing your soul with someone who have no right to it. And when you really think about it, they are also sharing their soul with you, and therefore the tie. The tie is supposed to pull to souls together to make then one, but if the one you joined your soul with isn’t the one who GOD has for you, then you just tied yourself, spiritually, to the wrong one. So, you have to change your thoughts and actions to prevent the dastardly consequence of inadequate soul ties, but how? Romans 12: 1-2. Celibate Romans 12: 1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. About a year ago, I started a holiness search. I wanted to be holy. I wanted to be acceptable to GOD. And the previous scripture said that holiness is what GOD accepts. IT also tells how to be holy, by being transformed and renewing your mind. That’s hard. 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, 7: 1-2, 34 C.I.U
The situation could be an old friend, a song; a place…whatever takes you there. From that point the thoughts take over. And it’s what you do with those thoughts determine where you end up. You see, you can’t entertain the thoughts because if you do, they become your actions. Waiting for my Husband Here’s my dream. Here is what I tell GOD and others when I’ve been accused of wanting to stay single. One day, Sunday, Thursday, Friday or whatever day, he is going to walk into the church. He’ll be looking specifically for me, and he will fine me. I’ll be there waiting. He’ll be saved, stable and of course handsome. I won’t get down to the particulars because it’ll take to long. But I have a prayer list that says who and what I want as well as what I don’t want. From time to time I pull it out and read it over adding and rewording making sure my thoughts are just right. Will I meet my man of GOD like that, I don’t know, but its nice to dream. Struggles A few days after my 25th birthday, my father passed away. Literally 3 days. My relationship with my sister is crazy. Finances Weight gain Testimonies This year (2010) I celebrated a few things. One of the first things is that I Page 6
graduated from the University of Pittsburgh in May. I finished my classes on June 17, 2010. Then on July 10, 2010, I was reunited with my daughter. Its been a long 3 years. Along with that, August this year makes two years celibate. I usually buy a cake and celebrate but I haven’t done it as yet for the
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year. I do plan on it. In fact, I went to the store and bought some cake mix and I have some ice cream at home. So I might not do it big, but I’ll still do it. Encouragement You can do it.
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Purity My name is Tequaila “Purity” Coleman. I am a 20 year young woman born and raised on the south side of Pittsburgh where I currently reside with both persevering parents of 25 years. Although, young in years, it's been said that I am beyond my years with wisdom. I have a passion for the ministry of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ, and helping others grow into a personal love relationship with Him. My mother raised me up in Lighthouse Cathedral since the age of 1. I thank God for the many gifts and talents He has bestowed upon me, so I will use them to up-build His kingdom. The name “Purity” was given to me by way of the Holy Spirit, March 2010 during my trip home from a worship seminar in Alabama. I can recall noting in my phone memo pad, a creative word to the Lord. It was filled with many of the heart-felt issues that I had been dealing with at the time. It seemed as if, the more I typed the more the Lord was preparing me for the next season of my life. The writing ended with these words, “Forever we wed so forever shall be our undying love, I call her Purity.” It was as if, at that very moment, the Lord had changed my
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name, and I’ve been proud to repute it since then. My inspiration is the Holy Spirit, although many other artists evoke me to “go hard” for God. Kierra Sheard has been one of my biggest inspirations as I too take joy in writing about the issues of everyday life. My brothers Greg and Gary “G-Wiz” Coleman motivate me to exercise daily, my vocal abilities for they are both AMAZING vocalists. As far as my writing abilities I am most inspired by Ms. Michelle McKinney Hammond who happens to be an astounding writer, my big bro Don “Churchboi” Gordon, brilliant poet and psalmist, has recognized the gift God has placed in me and has fervently worked to pull it out, as well as a host of talented authors from the Christian Urban Fiction family. The list goes on. My ultimate goal is to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to people throughout the world, namely the youth, by cultivating a lifestyle of purity, and wholesome relationships by way of abstinence and chastity according to the word of God. I will help rise up men of valor and women of virtue. Let's just say I've been blessed with an exemplary example of what a virtuous woman of God looks like, (thanks mommy) so I have to share my wealth of knowledge, and the God given wisdom on how to use it. Like many others, I have a desire to establish a truly love filled and lasting relationship with the man upstairs while waiting on the one down here to find me. So let's worship while we wait!
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Tequaila is also an aspiring author, currently working on her first piece: The Diary of a Virtuous Woman: Living a Lifestyle of Purity Genre-Mind & Body; Religion & Spirituality As well as a host of songs, poems, and creative writings.
(Photography for Purity done by JB Wilson)
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Bookworm This book, I found, to be a very good even for me a wife. It touches on things that husbands should pray for their wives and explains how we operate. This book touches on things like our emotions, sexuality as well as. You can get this for your husband to read as well as read it yourself.
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This book showed me that it never too early or too late to pray for your child(ren). Stormie Omartian goes throug h the differe nt stages she went throug h with her childre n (whom are now adults). She touches on different things to pray for, like praying to be the parent God wants you to be. Or letting your spirit be sensitive to your child(ren) so you are aware of what’s going on even if they’re not tell you. This book is a good read.
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Words Of the Lord
Proverbs 31:10-31 (New Living Translation) Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. She goes to inspect a field and buys it with her earnings she plants a vineyard. She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. She makes sure her dealings are profitable, her lamp burns late into the night. Her hands are busy spinning thread her fingers twisting fiber. She extends a helping hand to the poor and open her arms to the needy. She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. Her husband is well known at the city gates where he sits with the other civic. She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world. But you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
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Now when I first read this I was like wow!! This woman is a beast! She does everything. How am I supposed to be like that? But God wants us all to be this way. We have to take it one day at a time and work on making ourselves better women. And that goes into having better standards for ourselves.
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Greg & Cachet Coleman have known each other for 12 years, have been together 3 years, and married for almost 2. (A lot of numbers right!) They have a wonderful relationship although it has been a true learning experience. Cachet says she has learned so much about herself as far as insecurities and flaws that she wasn’t aware of. But hubby has shown her love, support, and devotion through it all. He shows the real meaning of unconditional love. And these are things she loves about him. Who wouldn’t? Greg is the type of husband that will listen. He will let Cachet states her side right or wrong, let it marinate and if she needs correcting he will do that. Now that’s an awesome husband quality. He’s also a sweetheart, very kind, and will go above and beyond for Cachet. Now you know you got a good husband when someone ask you what ticks you off about your spouse and you can’t think of ANYTHING! This happens to be the case with these two. The only thing C.I.U
that KINDA bothers Cachet is the fact that Greg is an over thinker. Greg goes above and beyond for his wife (I think I mentioned this earlier). His coning sense of humor, that is a bit naïve and innocent, keeps her laughing. Their marriage is based off godly principles (this is definitely a number one priority for married folk). They keep God the center of their marriage as well as intercede and pray for one another. Greg, as the head, prays and seeks God before making any decisions and Cachet submits. Trusting and following Greg is very important, and a daily process of crucifying the flesh. (Cause you know us wives sometimes want to be in charge). They also share things that God has showed them or taught them throughout the day and then keep each other encouraged. Now before all this gooey marriage stuff there was…gooey pre-marriage stuff. Their proposal story actually consists of 3 parts. You want to hear it? Well here it go. (In Cachet’s exact words) (The Pre-Proposal) First he took me to the Overlook. He had pre-planned with Elder Marcus and his wife. They accompanied us with the video camera and he sang Page 14
a song, “I wanna be you husband, your baby sounds crazy but I’ll shout it from the mountain tops. I’m in love with you.” We later drove around Pittsburgh and listened to a CD he made filled with love music and songs he sang. And ending with an outro where he talks about how God showed him that I was to be his wife. (The Actual Proposal) Second, he had gone back to school. He was in college in Phili and we were on the phone. We were talking about when we’d like to get married and he said, I didn’t want to do this over the phone but will you,” and I said, “Of course I will!” We decided to tell everyone ASAP.
(The ring) By this time we were already engaged for 4 months and I happened to be throwing a birthday party for my sister at my house. When he and LC came back they told me they weren’t able to get the ring, it wasn’t back yet, and the woman at the store was giving him a hard time. I tried not to be disappointed but I was. I went in the kitchen to get someone a glass and when I turned around there he was on one knee with the ring. I felt on top of the world….
Greg and Cachet are expecting their first child, a little baby boy, February 9th. Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Coleman!
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