Sebastian Oliva

As I gazed at my soaked and tarnished Doc Martens floating in my flooded dorm room, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment and frustration. Little did I know that this moment would become a catalyst for growth and self-discovery in my college journey as a multi-racial, first-generation student.

I could begin this anecdote by describing to you how horrible my first semester went: the countless sleepless nights finishing projects; witnessing the dark circles around my eyes sink deeper into my face; and receiving a devastating phone call from my roommate about our flooded room and half of the floor. These events alone do not fully encapsulate the challenges I faced during my first year.

Amidst the academic rigor, cataclysmic dorm events, and even the internal debate over whether to get a Philly cheesesteak or tacos from the dining hall, I always managed to find moments of serenity.

Although the transition from Community to Michigan had its ups and downs, it brought about a pleasant surprise. I realized that I didn’t know as much about myself as I had previously known. At times, the pressure to succeed and constant competition left me feeling like an imposter in a world that felt foreign to me. I never anticipated experiencing these emotions; they were completely unprecedented for me. The feeling of loneliness and uncertainty was overwhelming, and I found myself asking, “What more could I be doing?” or “Do I even belong?”

As a first-generation college student, I had no one in my family who could offer guidance or support in navigating the complex and competitive academic landscape. I felt like I was on my own, and that only added to my sense of isolation and vulnerability.

Despite these challenges, I found solace in the confines of the brick building that housed my dorm room, with a small lawn out front. Though it was moments when I sat in my room, staring outside the window overlooking Ann Arbor that I realized something.

I recognize that my appreciation for my institution and the positive experiences I’ve had is influenced by the stressful situations I’ve faced. It’s important to acknowledge the impact of challenging circumstances on our perceptions. I have grown to appreciate laughing at jokes in the undergraduate library, getting to work as a research assistant in a research lab at U-M Medical School, and studying with friends.

It was during these moments of introspection that I realized the importance of celebrating small successes and being kinder to myself when faced with setbacks. Academic success was not solely determined by grades but by the effort and dedication I put into my work. However, acknowledging the pillars I overcame and recognizing my progress and achievements helped me nurture the cards in my hand.

I learned to embrace my accomplishments, regardless of their magnitude and came to understand that even in moments when events appeared unexplainable or un- just, these circumstances were not happening to me but for me.

Despite my yearning to share a profound sense of self-reflection or narrate a defining experience that encapsulates my time here, I have come to the understanding that personal growth is a process that demands a significant amount of time before its effects can be fully realized or felt.

While I had so desperately wanted to share some profound reflection or recount an experience characteristic of my time here, I have realized that growth can take a really long time to be acknowledged or to be felt.

As I embark on the rest of my college journey, I know that the road ahead will be tough, but I am confident in my ability to face whatever obstacles and difficulties come my way. Yes, this past year has been fraught with numerous unpleasant experiences. I cannot deny that I have come to appreciate my school as a result of certain circumstances that, in a twisted sense, have facilitated this newfound appreciation.

My flooded dorm room may have been a setback, but it was also a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown.