Having a faith conversation with old and new friends is as easy as setting the table.
FAITH FEEDS GUIDE HUMILITY
Introduction to FAITH FEEDS 3
Conversation Starters 6
• Living My Best Life by Louis P. De Angelo 7 Conversation Starters 8
• Mountain of Humility by Ian Snyder 9 Conversation Starters 11
• Humility Is Listening by Mikaela Prego 12 Conversation Starters 14
• Gathering Prayer 15
Faith Feeds is an initiative by Boston College’s Church in the 21st Century Center (C21), which was founded in 2002 to serve as a catalyst and a resource for renewal of the Catholic Church in the United States. Faith Feeds was originally designed for individuals in Catholic parishes who are hungry for opportunities to talk about their faith with others who share it. Considering many Catholic schools are an extension of a parish, a customized set of guides has been developed for Catholic educators. C21 worked in partnership on this project with the Roche Center for Catholic Education, a center that forms Catholic educators to become agents of change who work to create excellent PreK-12 Catholic schools.
Educators in Catholic schools who strive for excellence embody the following virtues: adaptablility, joy, attentiveness, vision, and humility. St. Ignatius stated, “All the things in this world are gifts of God, created for us, to be the means by which we can come to know him better, love him more surely, and serve him more faithfully. As a result, we ought to appreciate and use these gifts of God insofar as they help us toward our goal of loving service and union with God.” (The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola)
These Faith Feeds guides challenge Catholic educators to reflect on how they are living out their vocations in their everyday lives. Together, the C21 Center and the Roche Center hope to deepen the faith of educators and bring communities of people together through these Faith Feeds reflections and questions. All authors in these guides are committed Catholic educators who have a deep love for Catholic schools and strive daily in their vocations to love and serve God.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Who should host a FAITH FEEDS?
Anyone who has a heart for facilitating conversations about faith is perfect to host a FAITH FEEDS.
Where do I host a FAITH FEEDS?
You can host a FAITH FEEDS in-person or virtually through video conference software. FAITH FEEDS conversations are meant for small groups of 10-12 people.
What is the host’s commitment?
The host is responsible for coordinating meeting times, sending out materials and video conference links, and facilitating conversation during the FAITH FEEDS.
What is the guest’s commitment?
Guests are asked to read the articles that will be discussed and be open to faith-filled conversation.
Still have more questions?
No problem! Email church21@bc.edu and we’ll help you get set up.
READY TO GET STARTED?
STEP ONE
Decide to host a FAITH FEEDS. Coordinate a date, time, location, and guest list. An hour is enough time to allocate for the virtual or in-person gathering.
STEP TWO
Interested participants are asked to RSVP directly to you, the host. Once you have your list of attendees, confirm with everyone via email. That would be the appropriate time to ask in-person guests to commit to bringing a potluck dish or drink to the gathering. For virtual FAITH FEEDS, send out your video conference link.
STEP THREE
Review the selected articles from your FAITH FEEDS Guide and the questions that will serve as a starter for your FAITH FEEDS discussion. Hosts should send their guests a link to the guide, which can be found on bc.edu/FAITHFEEDS.
STEP FOUR
Send out a confirmation email a week before the FAITH FEEDS gathering. Hosts should arrive early for in-person or virtual set up. Begin with the Gathering Prayer found on the last page of this guide. Hosts can open the discussion by using the suggested questions. The conversation should grow organically from there. Enjoy this gathering of new friends, knowing the Lord is with YOU!
STEP FIVE
Make plans for another FAITH FEEDS. We would love to hear about your FAITH FEEDS experience. You can find contact information on the last page of this guide.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
Here are three articles to guide your FAITH FEEDS conversation. We suggest that you select two that will work best for your group, and if time permits, add in the third. In addition to the original article, you will find a relevant quotation, summary, and suggested questions for discussion. We offer these as tools for your use, but feel free to go where the Holy Spirit leads. Conversations should respect and ensure confidentiality between participants.
This guide’s theme is: Humility
LIVING MY BEST LIFE
By Louis P. De Angelo
In 1913, a ten-year old girl and her family emigrated from Calabria in southern Italy to make a new life in the United States. She completed the eighth grade in school, then went to work to assist her family in meeting their survival needs during the First World War. After marrying and having two children, she endured the Great Depression, had a third child, and was widowed by 1936. She returned to work to raise her family through all the major events of American history that occurred in the ‘40s, ‘50s, ‘60s, and ‘70s. Over the years, this single parent lived through several significant surgeries, good times and bad times, and when she was 86 years old, the passing of her eldest child. She lived another seven years until her own death at age 93, her life having covered all but seven years of the 20th Century.
This brief biography could probably be repeated by many families over time; it is told not because the main character is unique in any way. While this narrative, with a bit more elaboration, may resonate with others, it is special to me because it is the history of my maternal grandmother who lived with us while I was growing up. I learned this story over time along with many virtues that emanated from it, and it became part of my grandmother’s legacy to me.
One such virtue that I witnessed in my grandmother’s character was humility. There may be many essays and innumerable quotes about humility, but the real-life definition I observed in my grandmother was that humility is living one’s life to the best of one’s ability. In other words, it is being one’s best self, given the time and circumstances in which one lives.
For Saint Ignatius of Loyola, humility was evident when, after the cannonball
conversion experience and time in the Holy Land, he was sent back to Europe by the Franciscans to attend university. However, prior to his university studies, he was required to attend a grammar school to study Latin. Certainly spending two years in a Latin grammar school with boys much younger than him had to be quite an experience – a very humbling experience. Despite what it meant each day, Saint Ignatius attended the grammar school for two years! Imagine spending two weeks, let alone two years, in any school for young boys learning Latin! Yet, Saint Ignatius acted with humility, recognizing that it was where he was supposed to be at the time and in the circumstances of his life.
What lesson am I to learn from Saint Ignatius of Loyola and my grandmother about humility? Living in the present moment and accepting my life’s circumstances seem to be at the heart of humility. Such a lesson does not detract from my vision for life. It allows me to celebrate joys and blessings and to acknowledge stresses and challenges. These are all part of the fabric that makes a life full and complete. Living in humility is recognizing God’s many gifts to me, my responsibility in using these gifts, and the reality that the future is not solely mine to determine.
Numerous writers have tried to capture the essence of humility in their works. Perhaps Saint Francis de Sales, who lived after Saint Ignatius, summed up the definition of humility best in one brief sentence, “Be who you are and be that well.”
Louis P. De Angelo, Ed.D. is the Superintendent of Schools of the Diocese of Wilmington as well as a coach for the Roche Center’s Catholic Leadership Cohort.
LIVING MY BEST LIFE
“Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, but whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”
~ Matthew 23:12
Summary
Louis De Angelo recounts the history and legacy of his maternal grandmother’s life to demonstrate his conceptualization of humility. He describes humility as “being one’s best self, given the time and circumstances in which one lives”. The heart of humility is “living in the present moment and accepting one’s life circumstances.” He further exemplifies his vision of humility by describing St. Ignatius of Loyola’s experience of attending grammar school to study Latin for two years and concludes with a summary of humility through a quote by St. Francis de Sales: “Be who you are and be that well.”
Questions for Conversation
1. Reflect on the definition of humility presented in this article. How would you define humility?
2. Think of a family member, friend, educator, or other person in your life who witnesses humility. Why would you say this person is humble?
3. How does effective leadership demand humility?
MOUNTAIN OF HUMILITY
By Ian Snyder
I’ve been an avid hiker and backpacker for most of my life, a passion I was lucky enough to pick up in my early adolescence. Over the years, I’ve walked a good portion of New England and as far off as the Highlands of Scotland. I consider these opportunities
some of my most treasured life experiences. You can learn a lot from a mountain. The steep slopes, the bald and blustery peaks, raging gorges, and peaceful overlooks each have a lesson to share. There is nothing more humbling than approaching a massive gran-
ite-capped peak to remind you of the beauty of God’s creation.
Despite Thomas Merton’s best efforts, the metaphor of the “Mountain of Humility” originates from the writings of Saint Anselm of Canterbury. In this metaphor, Anselm describes the mountain of humility and its seven levels of growth. Conversely, he depicts a picture of the valley of pride that pulls us deeper the more we allow ourselves to indulge in pride. I promise I won’t bore you with Anselm’s philosophical treatise, but if you’ve ever climbed a mountain, you know this metaphor to be accurate. Each vertical step requires an expenditure of energy physically, but the strength of will is what is truly exhausting. The trail is littered with softball sized rocks, roots are reaching out to trip you, and false peaks break your spirit. It can be a grueling experience! Whereas the descent back to the valley brings you that much closer to your vehicle, cheeseburgers, and a cold drink!
I have found this metaphor to be proven true throughout my life, but most often in my professional life. Just when I think I’m cruising downhill on the fast track to the nearest pizza place, I’m smacked with the reality that I’ve allowed my pride to blind me. I’ve been overconfident in my words or actions. I’ve overlooked something, blinded by my pride.
How do we avoid these moments? As educators, all we want to do is help others, but if we are being honest, we also want the A+. We want the approval of our “teacher.” How do we avoid the slow slide down to the valley of pride?
For me, I have found two tools that have helped me stay on the path to the peak. The first is that of self-awareness. While this requires us to take time for ourselves, a quick inventory of our emotions and frustrations at the start of the day might be just what we need to avoid the temptation of pride. Am I dismissing the ideas of others? Am I allowing my insecurities to rule my actions? What is my motivation for today? Am I serving others or my ego? Hard questions, but then again, climbing mountains was never easy.
The second tool is the gentle release of acceptance. The challenges, frustrations, and distractions are part of my journey, and I can’t change them. The thought that I can change my challenges is a thought of pride. The path of humility demands that I change myself. The experienced hiker floats from boulder to boulder rather than removing each rock along the way.
As school leaders, our path is filled with these obstacles, and it would be easy to exhaust ourselves in the fruitless effort of making clear the path.
The path of humility isn’t a simple one, but we draw strength from the path of Jesus who humbly followed his trail to the cross. May we follow his example and humbly seek God in all tasks.
Ian Snyder is the Head of School of St. Joseph School in Needham, MA. He is also a member of the Roche Center’s 2022 Catholic Leadership Cohort.
MOUNTAIN OF HUMILITY
“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” ~ James 4:10
Summary
Ian Snyder incorporates his lifelong passion for hiking and backpacking into his vision of humility. He describes his own lessons of humility from the mountains—from overcoming obstacles to reaching the peaceful overlooks. Snyder references the metaphor of the “Mountain of Humility” from the writings of Saint Anselm of Canterbury, in which humility is found in the peaks, and pride is found in the valleys. He applies this metaphor to his professional life as an educator, in which he often lets pride blind him which leads him to overconfidence. He utilizes two tools to avoid the temptation of pride: developing self-awareness of his emotions and gently accepting challenges and frustrations that he cannot change. Snyder concludes the article with a reminder to “humbly seek God in all tasks,” as Jesus did when he followed his trail to the cross.
Questions for Conversation
1. What kind of mountains have you climbed in your life? What have you learned from those experiences?
2. What are the obstacles that trip you up from sustaining your humility as a leader? How do we manage those obstacles?
3. Have there been moments when you have felt the pull of the valley of pride as a school leader? What have you taken away from those moments?
HUMILITY IS LISTENING
By Mikaela Prego
In my freshman year of college, I decided to attend the rowing team’s walk-on tryouts. I had never rowed, but I had always been involved in sports and thought this would be a good challenge. I arrived at the tryout and quickly noted I was, at least, a foot shorter than everyone else. Still, I was strong and that had to count for something, right? It turns out in rowing, height matters, and the coaches moved me to the coxswain position. For those unfamiliar to rowing, the coxswain is the driver of the boat. We call out the rhythm, we steer, and we are in charge of executing race strategy in regattas. We do not row; we sit. I hated the position at first. I wanted to row. I wanted to pull the boat. I wanted to work hard. As an athlete, I had earned my position by proving my
strength and my speed. As a coxswain, I had no idea how to prove myself.
I think this feeling is relatable. We all have a desire to do our best and to find our purpose or vocation, so we can live out the life we are called to live. It sounds wonderful, almost effortless, to live out our vocation. In reality, it is rare to know we are exactly where we are supposed to be, or who we are called to be on a given day. For me, I connect this feeling with humility. I want to hold on to a title— teacher, rower, principal, doctor—as my purpose, but I don’t think God organizes our lives in titles. We are always called to more than one thing, and it is a practice of humility to open ourselves up to the different ways we can live out our faith.
My time as a coxswain was a constant practice of humility. There is a joke: when the race goes poorly, it’s the coxswain’s fault. When the race goes well, it’s the rowers’ fault. I learned that listening and understanding my rowers’ strengths and areas of growth was crucial to our boat’s success. To do well, the entire boat had to work together. We could never rely on one rower to win. The rowers relied on me, and I relied on them. I learned that the best coxswains are quiet, humble leaders who do not make it about themselves, but are so in tune with their rowers that they know exactly how to bring out their best. And, man, does it feel good to win with your boat! I have also had mentors who have modeled quiet, humble leadership in education. I see many parallels to coxswains. As a teacher, the best mentor and colleague I had was able to help those around her identify their own strengths and build their confidence to share those strenghts with others. She made others feel important and powerful, like a great coxswain would do for her rowers. This mentor has never received any awards or fancy titles for her work, but, man, it certainly felt good when we saw the work we were able to do together for our students! I used to think humility meant I had to die to self, however, my time in education and rowing have revealed that humility is more about listening. By listening, I can see how my strengths complement those around me, and how we can empower each other to be our best. How freeing it is to know that I do not have to be my best all alone, and that I can lean on the strengths of all those around me to move forward.
Mikaela Prego is a Math Interventionist at St. Rita Catholic School in Louisville, KY. She is also a member of the Roche Center’s 2022 Catholic Leadership Cohort.
HUMILITY IS LISTENING
“Listening also means being able to share questions and doubts, to journey side-by-side, to banish all claims to absolute power and to put our abilities and gifts at the service of the common good.” ~ Pope Francis
Summary
Mikaela Prego recalls her first experience on the rowing team in college – not as a rower, but as the coxswain, the one who steers and calls out the rhythm of the boat. Mikaela describes the feeling of uncertainty in how to prove herself as an athlete in a role that did not require direct strength and connects this to a sense of humility. Similarly, though we all want to find our purpose and live out our vocation, we may not always know what that looks like. As Mikaela states, “I don’t think God organizes our lives in titles. We are always called to more than one thing and it is a practice of humility to open ourselves up to the different ways we can live out our faith.” Finally, Mikaela finds that, for her, humility is “more about listening” and being able to find ways for her strengths to compliment that of others.
Questions for Conversation
1. Sometimes humility can mean taking a step back from our plans to see what God has envisioned for us. Reflect on a time that you realized your plans and God’s plans were different.
2. How do you lean on others’ strengths in difficult times? What strengths do you bring that help others?
3. Listening can be a difficult skill, especially as a leader. How have you grown in your ability to listen to others? What are you still working on?
