Witness to LOVE

Mary-Rose Verret

Mmarriage is a vocation in crisis. Like dusty crocheted doilies or dial-up telephones—perhaps they were b eautiful, useful, or sentimental once, but not today. Sacramental marriage rates plummet year after year and the response often given is that we need to require more of couples getting married. What if the answer was already in the hearts of young people and in the witness of married couples?

What would draw two nominal Catholics to decide to have a sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church? Today, they would be a minority among their friends and peers, if they choose marriage at all, and especially if they choose to be sacramentally married. Over the years, we have met thousands of couples and heard hundreds of stories. The following is my favorite story because it illustrates how God is still calling deep in the hearts of young people to the vocation that reveals God’s love to the world. Just like in the Chronicles of Narnia , there is that turning point when the snow begins to melt and the winter which lasts for years loses its grip—we have seen that there is a springtime and there are stories to be shared.

On a sticky, hot day in Los Angeles, a group of preteen boys ran into an unlocked church to cool off and accidentally interrupted what they later realized was an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. The priest leading the meeting quickly ushered them out of the church but gave them each a holy card with the Our Father prayer on the back. He asked the boys to say this prayer every night. Rich was one of those boys, and he and his brother had recently become fatherless. For this twelve-year-old, the prayer became something of a lifesaver. He took out the card and said this prayer every night for fifteen years, and God began to work in his heart. He grew up and moved across the country, but he still said the familiar prayer every night. Many years later, he was working at a bar in Maryland during a heavy snowstorm.

The night of the epic snowstorm, a young lady named Jessica, who had recently gone through a painful marital situation and subsequent annulment process, walked in to play pool with some friends to get out of the snow. Rich and Jessica found out they came from the same town in California. Jessica and Rich became friends and later started dating. They each shared with the other their personal journey. Jessica had been in a very unhealthy relationship, and that was all she had known. She left California to get away and to start a new life.

Rich shared with Jessica his journey and how he had no connection to any church, but he did have a connection to God through the daily prayer that had been h is anchor. Together, they found in the other something that reflected God and they became engaged. They decided to get married in the Catholic Church because it had become obvious that their marriage belonged to God and that their Father in heaven had drawn them there together. The parish they began the marriage preparation process with in Maryland was a Witness to Love parish. The parish asked them to choose a mentor couple whose marriage they admired, who could walk with them on their journey, but they initially couldn't think of anyone. Back home, at a Christmastime engagement party in California, they reconnected with a beautiful couple they both knew from their hometown years ago. Henry and Elizabeth became mentors to this young couple on their journey.

They began the Witness to Love process of meeting and sharing lives, growing in virtue, attending church, and building a deep bond with this mentor couple. Over the months, Henry began to go blind because of a health condition and did not want to cause Rich and Jessica any anxiety leading up to the wedding. He pretended to be able to read along with them, but in reality Elizabeth had read all the materials and discussion questions to him before each meeting. Closer to the wedding day, the engaged couple discovered that Henry was, in fact, completely blind. The gift that Henry had given to them in the sacrifice, the extra difficulty of trying to mentor while dealing with a health crisis and being unable to read, blew them away. This was love in action! How could their mentors care so much for them?

On the day of their wedding, there was a quiet moment between Rich and Henry. Henry let the new groom know that he was the son he never had (Henry and Elizabeth had three daughters). Rich said, “Henry, you are the answer to the prayer that I have been praying all these years. You are the father I never had.” Rich told him about the “Our Father” prayer card he was given decades ago.

Generosity breeds generosity, kindness breeds kindness, and God is involved intimately in the details of our lives. Through this journey, both couples were renewed in the gift of Christ’s presence in the Sacrament of Marriage, in the gift of friendship, and in the gift of being fully alive to whom God created them to be. ■

Mary-Rose Verret, together with her husband, Ryan, is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and television host, and co-founder of Witness to Love, a marriage movement renewing the Church through relationships.

In June 2021, the Verrets were invited by the Vatican to present at the international forum “Where Do We Stand with ‘Amoris Laetitia‘?” and at the World Meeting of Families in Rome in 2022. Their passion is teaching couples to share their marriage with others and to understand that their home is a missionary outpost of the local parish. Their latest book, Family Missionary Discipleship: Forming Marriages and Families to Share the Joy of the Gospel, will be released in 2023.

For more information on the Witness to Love programs and publications, please visit: witnesstolove.org in response to Pope Francis‘s call to engage young couples and provide new models for formation as they approach the Sacrament of Marriage, the Vatican‘s Dicastery of Laity, Family, and Life published a new pastoral guideline, “Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life” (CPML), in June 2022. To learn more about the CPML, “Amoris Laetitia” (AL), and additional resources for marriage preparation, visit: bc.edu/c21anniversary20

“Neither of the spouses will be alone in facing whatever challenges may come their way. Both are called to respond to God’s gift with commitment, creativity, perseverance, and daily effort. They can always invoke the assistance of the Holy Spirit who consecrated their union, so that...grace may be felt in every new situation that they encounter.” Pope Francis (AL 74)