The Winston: Freshers Edition 2015

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Editorial

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Hello there freshers. Mmmm, we can smell your callow, vulnerable hearts from here, and it smells like a banquet. Allow us to briefly introduce both ourselves and our complete incapacity for brevity. We are Rahul and Millie (pictured left and entirely sober), and we are proud to coedit this glorious publication. A publication, we would have you know, of the utmost gloriousness. We try to get a couple out a term, and fill it to the brim with journalistic goodness – this very issue will furnish you with a liquorice allsorts bag of freshery fun, from top tips gleaned from sins passed to playlist ideas to a rather useful little dictionary of Cambridge terminology. But think not, darling young ones, that we do this merely out of the goodness of our hearts. This is not a charity drive, it is a recruitment drive. The Winston committee, that great bastion of prestige, needs your writing. The Winston committee, that paragon of reputational stature, needs your words. As you shall see from this issue: anything goes. We want serious articles about serious shit. We want silly articles about silly shit. Sometimes we want silly articles about serious shit. Sometimes we don’t feel the need to swear to look cool. Real talks though freshers, you’re going to have a rollicking good week and a rollicking good few years. Churchill, whether you chose it or it chose you, is a damn fine place to piss away three years of your life drinking pisswater wine and complaining about work. A damn fine place indeed. I think it was Churchill himself that once said “I might be dead but the Winston is a fantastic magazine”. Time. History. Legacy. Peace out. 3


Welcome from the Master Dame Athene Donald Welcome to Churchill College. Congratulations on making it here. I hope you will find this a friendly and pleasant place to be and that very quickly you find your feet. All the Fellowship join me in wishing you the very best as you familiarise yourself with this new environment. Coming to a new place is always a little daunting; the feeling that you don’t know who is who or where you’re supposed to be and, just as importantly, when you should be there. But you are all in the same boat, which might be some small consolation. There are plenty of people around to help and, as a friendly college you should never be afraid to ask for such help. You are here because we know that you have what it takes to succeed and to benefit from all the College and the wider University have to offer. Nevertheless the College will be very different from your schools. Here we want you to develop your intellectual and personal strengths; draw from the breadth of people and ideas you will meet 4


here so as to stretch yourself and enable you to realise your potential. Once again there are plenty of people who can help you out, provide advice and we have splendid support systems if the going gets temporarily a bit tough. You are here first and foremost to push yourself intellectually to develop yourself to your full potential. But beyond your lectures, your essays, the time in the library or the laboratory, you will find much more to absorb your energies. Here there are activities to suit just about every taste, whatever your prior experiences or your personal interests. Life in College is more than just work and you should make time to take up some of the other opportunities here. Some time, that is. Do not let yourself take on so much that you are no longer able to get out of bed in the morning for your lectures or you find that there is no time left to complete the work your supervisors set. Part of the challenge for you here will be finding that right balance between the different strands of your life. Terms are short and intense here. Sometimes it seems as if you blink and they’re gone. Time management is an important skill to master. In a close-knit community such as the College you should also aim to help one another if that turns out to be necessary. You should look around at your fellow students and see if there are those who need your friendship or advice, just as we will be looking out for you. One of the wonderful aspects of college life, unlike what happens in many universities, is that it is a sufficiently small unit that people should never find themselves falling through the cracks.  5Â


My husband Matthew and I look forward to getting to know you and to seeing you develop and thrive. Every year’s intake is different and I am sure the 2015 cohort will equally have its own strengths (and weaknesses!). The chemistry created by each new group of students, as you mingle and share experiences, will be unique. Wherever you’ve come from, whatever you’re studying, I hope you enjoy your life at Churchill College, that you feel supported and that you are able to realise your potential to the full. Let me offer you the congratulations of the entire Fellowship on your admission here and our very best wishes for an exciting, rewarding and enjoyable time in the college on all fronts.

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Welcome from the Senior Tutor Sally Boss Whether you are joining Churchill College for the first time or picking up where you left off last summer, it is great to have the College full of undergraduate students once again. Freshers, you are joining a College that achieved the best set of undergraduate examination results in its history in June 2015, with over 30% of students attaining Firsts and more than 90% of students graduating with a First or II.1 (the College was placed third in the Tompkins Table –an annual ranking of Cambridge Colleges based on undergraduate examination results – our best ever performance). As the College’s Senior Tutor for 2015-16 it is my responsibility to ensure that this success continues and that the College provides you with the highest standards of academic and welfare support. Both will be immediately visible to you even in your first few days in College as our community of Fellows, staff and students work in concert 7


to prepare you for the term ahead. Make the most of the support we offer, ask questions and be honest with us if you need our help. Whether you have subject-specific queries for your Director of Studies, a welfare-related question for your Tutor or a question about the campus geography for one of our Porters, we are here to ease your transition from home to university in whatever way we can. I am confident that you will quickly come to realise our strengths as a community; that we are open, inclusive and supportive with a commitment to mutual respect at our core. I hope you all feel immensely proud of what you have achieved in your recent examinations and that you recognise just how terrifying the academic competition for places at Cambridge can be. You saw off that competition to secure your place here which is, of course, a remarkable achievement. Be reassured by your academic successes in life so far, which tell us that you are capable of excelling here, but be determined to build on these successes through hard work and a commitment to make the most of the worldclass teaching and support that we have to offer. Embark on this new chapter of your lives with a determination to be the best that you can be. You will also, I hope, engage with the many non-academic activities on offer both in College and in the wider University. Whatever your interests you will find like-minded and capable people to share them. By managing your time carefully and planning ahead you will be able to enjoy all that Cambridge University has to offer and make the most of your time here in every way. Â 8Â


No matter how you envisage your time at Churchill unfolding, experience tells me that, despite your academic pedigree, few of you will navigate your time here without feeling the strain of work or the challenge of keeping pace at times. These academic pressures, coupled with the demands of finding your feet in new surroundings in the first year, are very common simply because Cambridge courses are by their very nature intellectually difficult and demanding. Again, I urge you to seek help when you need it, work collaboratively with peers and supervisors and persevere. The culture of teaching and learning in Cambridge will be different to your experiences at school or college, whatever your background, and it may take time for you to adjust. I advise you to throw yourself wholeheartedly into the learning process, to recognise that making mistakes can be an important part of this process and to remember that your supervisors and peers will learn from you, just as you will learn from them. Above all else, I’d like to wish you the very best of luck for the weeks ahead. You may well be feeling a bit daunted and overwhelmed as your first term in Cambridge begins, but remember that we have every faith in you. Please have faith in yourselves too! With every good wish and a hugely warm welcome.

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Cambridge Lingo Bedder: The bedmakers known as “bedders” are the lovely people who (do not make your beds) are responsible for cleaning all communal spaces in your stair-cases (kitchen, stairs, toilets). They are very friendly and always nice to talk to!

CUSU: The Cambridge University Student Union. Whilst Cambridge’s collegiate system means college affairs are run internally, and CUSU’s presence is not always noticeable, they still play a vital role to college. Not to be confused with the Cambridge Union, the debating society that will soon be getting all up in yo’ Facebooks grills.

DoS: Pronounced “doss” and stands for Director of Studies. Everyone will have a Director of Studies and they will be in charge of academic progress. Remember: your DoS is different from your Tutor who is in charge of nonacademic wellbeing.

JCR/MCR: JCR stands for the Junior Combination Room which is the student body all undergraduates are part of. They are represented by the JCR committee and hold fortnightly Open Meetings in the bar. The MCR is the Middle Combination Room which represents graduate students.

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Matriculation: When you officially become a member of the university! This will be marked by your Matriculation Dinner (this coming Monday!) when you will have a 3 course meal, be served wine and you will toast “The Queen” and “Sir Winston” and try not to make eye contact with the Senior Tutor when you down a few too many glasses.

Plodge: Stands for the Porter’s Lodge which is located on your left as you come in through the main entrance. Our awesome team of porters are who you go to if you have any problems, require things for your room, need to store luggage, send post, borrow JCR bikes.

Pidge: Everyone at college will have a Pigeon Hole for post and the occasional sweets that the JCR team hand out. Most pidges are located in the post room opposite the porter’s lodge.

UL: The University Library, 5min ride. Contains all books in the known universe. Seriously, like, even porn and shit.

‘It doesn’t need to make sense when its been the same for hundreds of years.’ 11


Cambridge Colleges: A Warning Preview Hannah Bowstead We all know that our Churchill is the Regina George of the Cambridge colleges, but at some point over the course of your degree, you are likely to come across one or two students from *gasp* another college. Horrifying, I know. But rest easy. Read this helpful guide, Be Sure Of The Facts, and you’ll be equipped with the necessary precautions for protecting yourself against these savages.

(This article is gonna be your guide to Cambridge…)

Christ's – a typical student from Christ’s has 32/3 identity crises a day, because she belongs to one of the 32/3 colleges named after the great JC. She has long brown hair, wears New Look dresses and plays netball, and is remarkably unremarkable. Or is that the girl from Downing? Clare – our Clare student is almost eternally drunk, hungover, or both, thanks to renowned ‘Clare Ents’ keeping him *ahem* hydrated. You will never see him in a lecture after the first day of term.

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Clare Hall – this postgrad considers himself wise and sensible, studying in a high-backed armchair wearing corduroy slacks and rollneck jumpers, without any irritating undergrads getting in his way. Corpus Christi (aka Corpus) – our Corpus student wafts around barefoot in maxi skirts and chiffon scarves. You’re not particularly close to her, but she’ll keep sending you Facebook invites to her ‘Contemporary Experimental Theatre’ plays over at Corpus Playroom nevertheless. Darwin – with his untamed hair and crazed expression, this Darwin postgrad really does remind you of a mad scientist. Makes sense, as he’s never yet been seen outside a lab. Downing – your pal from Downing is more accurately described as your pal from school, seeing as you haven’t yet seen him at Downing, or in Cambridge at all come to think of it. Anyway, he used to don Jack Wills hoodies and a carefully styled quiff. Nowadays? You haven’t the foggiest. Emmanuel (aka Emma) – our Emma friend wears floral dresses made out of curtains, Etsy jewellery and a big smile on her freckled face. She gently encourages you to join up to this organic gardening society with her, perhaps because she’s named after some sort of garden flower herself. Fitzwilliam (aka Fitz) ­– your neighbour from Fitz resembles a puppy in three ways: 1. He’s always following you around hopefully, 2. He looks up to you and often copies what you do, and 3. He jumps up and down excitedly when you suggest going out. But, you suppose, he is kind of cute. 13


Girton – our tough, hardened Girton farmer student has to get up at 4:30am every morning in order to make the perilous odyssey of a commute to her lectures. You’ll see her exhausted figure cycling past Churchill, clad in dungarees and wellies, and you’ll know that you’re late for your 9am. Gonville and Caius (aka Caius, pronounced ‘keys’) – your average student from Caius is quiet. Suspiciously so. Hidden away between Cambridge bigwigs King’s, Clare and Trinity, our Caius student is often overlooked, but he’s smart, and you’re sure he’s calmly plotting something. Watch out. Homerton – your new Homerton pal is geographically the furthest away from you out of everyone on your course. Your chances of survival are slim if you attempt the unforgiving pilgrimage to visit her, so keep up with her on social media instead. Although I’m not sure they have wifi over there. Hughes Hall – your typical Hughes Hall student is a postgrad from America. He studies rowing full-time, so he’s on the river by 6:30am and in the gym until 10pm. In his spare time he’s doing a PhD in Land Economy. Jesus – our Jesus gal is oozing with cool. Always the nerd at school, our Queen Bee exerts her newfound power by swishing her glossy hair and maintaining that she ‘never does any work’, ooh and you won’t believe what she got up to on her gap year. King's – the King’s lad doesn’t like to take life too seriously, and brushes aside any pressure that comes from attending Cambridge’s most famous college. During the many long, cold hours spent in chapel, he 14


calculates how quickly he can take out all the tourists who’ll flock to Evensong. Fun. Lucy Cavendish – Lucy Cavendish only accepts mature female students, so our student has a habit of peering round her ever-growing pile of books to looks disparagingly at us immature undergrads. Magdalene (pronounced ‘mor-da-lin’) – our chap from Magdalene is a suave and sophisticated gentleman. Impeccable manners, but he’ll never invite you over to Magdalene and will provide enigmatic reasons as to why. Almost certainly a spy. Murray Edwards (aka Medwards) – the Medwardian is a spunky lass who wears ‘throwntogether’ retro jumble sale outfits (which took hours to create. Gotta look good for Instagram), and links to feminist articles on Facebook. You and your hill college neighbour are likely to remain firm friends.

(Medwards has also been given the playful name ‘Hurry Bedwards’)

Newnham – our Newnhamite is the studious older sister of our Medwards girl, with more books and fewer colours in her hair. She doesn’t know what a man is, because she’s never seen one. 15


Pembroke – be sure to stick by your new Pembroke friend, because, even if he doesn’t turn out to be Tom Hiddleston, he still goes to a rather attractive (but often overlooked) college. Plus their formals are four course. Good stuff. Peterhouse – our Peterhouse student unwinds from a tough day’s lectures by donning his plus fours for a shoot in the college’s deer park, followed by a port-fuelled political debate with his college friends. Will he ever speak to anyone from another college? Doubtful, so he’s not a threat.

(Peterhouse College: you can almost smell the tweed)

Queens' – your Queens’ friend is a Solid Decent Bloke. OR IS HE? Get to know him, and you’ll discover his secret yet fierce temper. How dare you insinuate that the famous Mathematical Bridge in fact uses bolts? And how dare you put the apostrophe in Queens’ before the ‘s’? Scary. Robinson – course lives you, and yet year before said.

that Robinson person on your a three minute cycle ride from you’ll be well into your third you ever realise this. Enough

St Catharine's (aka Catz) – our Catz student is proud, aloof and mysterious. No-one can 16


quite remember when or where they last saw her – so, rather like a cat really. St Edmund's (aka St Ed’s) – he’s an identikit copy of our Hughes Hall postgrad, except he’s from Canada and his hobby is a Masters in Development Studies. St John's – the Johnian is a vile creature, who delights in making other people’s lives a misery. DO NOT TRUST HIM, no matter how much he tells you that the ‘prejudices’ against John’s are ‘just jealousy’. Selwyn – you’ll never see your keen bean Selwyn friend enter or leave a Sidgwick lecture theatre – she’s always just there, notebook ready, pen poised, the only constant in the tumultuous tempest that is your degree. Sidney Sussex – a gluttonous and lazy boy, our Sidney Sainsbury’s, sorry, Sussex student lives right opposite the most profitable Sainsbury’s in the country, and thus hasn’t had to walk more than 30 metres in one go since the start of his degree. It’s starting to show. Trinity – the Trinity student is a Mathmo who knows everything, and knows that he knows everything, and as such he loves looking down on everyone, especially Winston sub-editors who were pooled from Trinity to Churchill and aren’t bitter about it at all. Trinity Hall (aka Tit Hall) – your pal from Tit Hall is the younger, cooler, friendlier sister of the ambitious Trinity know-it-all – the Ginny Weasley to Trinity’s Percy. Go hang out with her on Tit Wall on a sunny day, and no doubt you’ll have a good laugh.

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Wolfson – our mature student from Wolfson spends her days in the woods, patiently waiting for the next full moon. Consequently, you will never meet her. Or anyone else from Wolfson for that matter.

And, because I am actually a review subeditor: Churchill – 10/10, would degree again.

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Pearls of Wisdom: Insider Tips to Life in Cambridge Nick Ash Ask students of the older years about what they remember from Freshers’ and they’ll look back at that week with a mixture of nostalgia and amnesia. Well they won’t look back with amnesia but you know what I’m getting at. Here at the Winston we seek to provide not just the usual ten-a-penny pieces of advice that you can get from any old publication regarding life in Cambridge. We provide the crème de la crème of advice; we separate the wheat from the chaff so you don’t have to. Our investigative reporters have scoured the current student body tirelessly for those gems of advice that could make your Freshers’ week just that little bit better and more memorable for the right reasons. William advises that one makes use of the Dominos discount code. An anonymous source wants new students to note that regular middle-of-the night fire alarms may be a thing for those unfortunates that reside in South court. Emily encourages students to make good use of the extraordinary facilities available at the University Library- affectionately known as ‘the UL’. She apologises for the lameness of this tip.

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Sarah warns vehemently against the purchase of nourishment from the so-called Van of Death. Look how ominous it appears.

Freshers should also take this opportunity to realize that in Cambridge nothing is as it seems. The Van of Death parades as ‘Uncle Franks’; the clubs are not Ballare and Kuda but Cindies and Life; and your ‘parents’ are not those who created you but some fraudsters who you’ve just met. Nicholas notes that students can get cashback from the Bar with the smallest of purchases. He adds that this is particularly advantageous given the nearest ATM is a considerable distance. Rahul suggests that Freshers don’t slave away over their first essay in the first week when it’s not going to be anything near your best piece of work. You’re only Freshers once. #YOFO Mr Savadia also claims that ‘Pizza at the bar. That’s where it’s at man.’ A young delinquent recommends actually putting your bike lights on your bike to prevent unwelcome attention from law enforcement officers. 20


Eleanor expresses the importance of recognising your surroundings and your fellow Churchillians on evenings of merriment so that either you know your way back to college or you can follow someone who does. Nora highlights the need to know of Aldi’s existence and presence in this humble little town. There is allegedly cheaper alcohol sold at this establishment (although none of our editors or sub-editors would know anything about this, of course). Rachel says packed lunches are cool. Winston urges you all to join the Winston Society. He claims that it’s coolest society in town. He’s right.

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Sub-Editor | Lucy Morgan

College

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What makes a community? What makes people feel as though they are part of one united group? Knowledge. Knowledge does just that. In order for you to feel at home in Churchill, we bring to you news about what is actually going on in our lovely college on the edge of town. So in the upcoming months we at the Winston want you to share your experience of Churchill. If you enjoyed Fresher’s week (or didn’t) tell us! If you love the new court/staircase you’re on, write it down! If you go to a JCR meeting and find out they’re proposing some new reform, let us know! Because with knowledge comes community (or power or whatever). To keep your minds open, warm, and happy like the weather we have some positive news in this first issue of the Winston; I’m here to make all the new freshers feel jut a little bit better about not attending one of those oh so beautiful central colleges. Although the time to buckle down and study is close, it is not yet upon us. So for now, enjoy the sun and freedom, and the glorious feeling of being back under the nose of Churchill. 22


Churchill’s the Best Lucy Morgan Almost a year ago, I was lugging my suitcase through the entrance to Churchill College, and within hours I was being asked: ‘Did you apply here?’ As a member of one of the more modern “hill” colleges, it’s a question I get asked a lot. Honestly, it’s a question I will probably pose to several of the arts Freshers at Churchill this week. But lets take some perspective on what life is actually like for those of us in the far reaches of town. I won’t pretend that I don’t admire the beauty of the older colleges; do I need to say more than King’s Chapel? But let’s be honest about something else as well. Those colleges aren’t exactly perfect. For all of the fancy exteriors, the heating is still stuck in the same time period as the stuffy, extended graces at their formal halls. And they certainly can’t play drinking games. Not only that, but I can’t imagine walking into a castle and feeling at home. Perhaps it’s my middle-class upbringing, but the down to earth, brick walls of Churchill feel much more inviting to me. Not to mention, we have our own little art collection up here. And who doesn’t love a multi-million dollar sculpture that doubles as a sort of playground for the stressed students. It is true, that long walk into town seems bothersome when you’re waking up ten minutes earlier than your friends to get to those 9am lectures on time, especially on a Saturday (sorry science students). But when the city centre gets too crowded, and your supervision has left you feeling like mushy peas, re 23


treating back to the safety of Churchill is actually quite comforting. I didn’t think, during that initial cab ride up to college, about how I would be getting down to Cindies at 11pm on a Wednesday. But as it turns out, the late night walks have set the stage for some of my favourite Cambridge memories, be it deciding to climb a street post or finishing an entire bottle in 25 minutes just because you can’t take it into a club.

And let’s consider the distance from a new perspective. In an odd way, being outside of the city centre pushes members of Churchill to get to know each other. Because not everyone wants to risk getting lost or freezing on the way into town, there are almost always people sitting in the college bar, which is pretty awesome by the way. You might call it a forced community feeling. But hey, it’s always nice to have a little family away from home. As a matter of fact, I didn’t apply to Churchill, and I’m sure many of you didn’t either. But give it time and I’m sure you’ll be able to relate when I say: give me the brick walls, the warm rooms, and the forced community any day over extended graces and rampaging tourists. 24


North, South, East, West – which have you been court in? Mimi Evagora-Campbell North Court – ‘The Court of Kings’ Known as the finest of all the courts and home to aristocracy. Word has it that its rooms are equipped with duvets of the finest white-goose down, curtains of a supreme black -out material in a fetching tartan print and taps of polished solid platinum. Some even say the air has been purified to aid the functioning of the young minds of its occupants. It’s no wonder this court is dubbed the ‘The Court of Kings’. Its inhabitants are blessed with first-class access to the gym, music block, buttery AND library, and are greeted each morning with exquisite views of the Hepworth and surrounding seasonal foliage. It is even heard on the grapevine that in the event of a fire, the alarm will sound approximately 30 seconds earlier in North Court to ensure its inhabitants can reach the helicopter pads before the bleary-eyed swathes of pyjama-and-flip-flop-clad residents of other courts emerge.

‘Positively Palatial’

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South Court – Not For the Faint-Hearted… The sunny realms of South Court are graced by the presence of the Paulownia tomentosa, or ‘empress tree’. Ancient tales report the enriching effects of the tree’s stunning lilac flowers, whose scent brings vibes of intellect and charm to those in its presence. This tale certainly seems to have rung true in the case of South Court as its inhabitants are among some of the most talented and dazzling in college… particularly those of the 45 district.

‘Blessed are those that grace these sun dappled walk-ways.’ However, life in South Court is not as fanciful as it may seem - only the lucky few make it to be permanent South Court residents; with few surviving the harsh midday sun that penetrates the oversized windows, along with the perpetual traffic noises from Madingley Road and the incessant 4 AM fire alarms that turn even the sanest mad. What’s more, legend has it that many an eager fresher has lost their life on the perilously long trek that is the Michaelmas car unload – South Court, unlike its northern opponent, stands well away from car access. 26


East Court- A Vision in Concrete Although East Court may seem to house the most concrete per square-metre in Churchill, do not be deceived by its austere appearance. For, on a rainy day infused with a headcold/ hangover, this may just be the place for you. With the nurse at hand to provide copious amounts of paracetamol and cough medicine, and the twinkling sounds of piano music chiming through the windows of the in-house music students, East Court is an oasis in a Brutalist desert.

West Court – The Wild West An eerie, desolate court, far from the warm, safe heart of college (the buttery), few venture out to West Court. It is approached by non-West Court-dwellers strictly in cases of laundry-based emergency when all other (safer) washing facilities are occupied. However, rumour has it that the Wild West lives up to its name in a second sense – with the setting sun that casts its rays over West Court bringing with it some of the best and wildest parties. So if you are ever invited to carouse with the indigenous communities of West Court, have the bravery to take up your offer and venture forth.

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Sub-Editor | Nick Ash

Culture

Culture, culture, culture. Music, fashion, celebrities; what more could the modern-day culturist want? Maybe something more highbrow? No, this is the Winston. In our Freshers’ edition our resident fashion guru has outlined his very subjective [if I do say so myself] opinion on the dos and don’ts of Freshers’ fashion. The esteemed Rahul Savadia has also compiled a few songs for a Freshers’ playlist. But what you’re waiting for is the return of his ‘Celebrities say things’ feature, the Culture section’s linchpin, without which we would never be quite the same. Nevertheless, what I think of culture may not be what you think of culture nor what Katie Hopkins nor Joey Essex thinks of culture. On this note, if you would like to widen the Winston’s cultural horizons and have any ideas for future articles or features for the Culture section, please send an email to nja40@cam.ac.uk or contact me on the Facebook. 28


Fake it till you make it – the tunes that’ll make you seem hip Rahul Savadia Everyone knows there’s only one way to be cool: try really fucking hard to be cool. For the many Freshers among you that have just joined our ranks, and are eager to make new friends, this little playlist will show your new homies that you know your Radiohead from your Mozart (although they’re really nothing alike so I guess in a way it’s not that impressive).

Runnin’ – The Pharcyde You can’t seem cooler than when you’re rapping along to a hip-hop song made by a band that was formed so long ago that misspelling words on purpose was genuinely fresh. Sexual Healing (Kygo remix) – Marvin Gaye I dunno, people seem to think remixes are cool.

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I Need This – Jessie J Has anyone heard of this song? I definitely haven’t. But a surefire way to hipdom is to take a mainstream artist, listen to an obscure song and tell people you “only listen to the real Jessie J”.

White Room – Cream There’s gonna be one guy at every pre-drinks you host and DJ at that thinks all modern music is shit. He’s a wally, but this is really the only antidote.

Made You Sh!t Your Pants – The Weathermen They’re American backpacker hip-hop, and they’re named after an old radical lefty unit. Hope you Freshers have bought a nice big satchel to hold all that street cred in.

Glory Days – My Darling YOU! Weirdly stylised artist name? CHECK. Scandinavian origin but English language? CHECK. Lyrics that are so shit they’re good, like how the snake in the snake game goes so far right it appears from the left? No cash, I’ll take the CHECK.

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Freshers’ Fashion: What to Wear? Nick Ash When you’re meeting all these shiny, new people for the first time, anyone would just want to look good. But what should you wear? [Because, clearly, these people are all going to judge you from your spectacular taste in clothing.] Well, as the Winston’s selfappointed resident fashion guru, I am here to guide you along the treacherous path of putting together an outfit that will make you stand out and make people say ‘I wanna be friends with that person’. University is a time to reinvent your personal style. No one has any preconceptions when it comes to your sense of fashion. Pick a new hat and you could be known as the hat guy/ girl; but is wearing a hat every day necessarily the sort of thing you want to keep up? One of our lovely Winston editors deeply mourns their missed opportunity to become a hat person and maybe a super-stylish fresher could rub this opportunity in their face to make it hurt that little bit more.

(Work it Winston.)

Clothes can also be a great conversation starter and someone complimenting your tribal prints would give you the perfect opportunity to launch into a monologue about your lifeaffirming gap yah trip to Africa-h and the fabulous local markets they had there. Nothing says making friends more than a one-sided conversation about your gap year [even though the trousers were £4 from Primark]. 31


Maybe standing out of the crowd isn’t for you and you just want to blend in. Don a pair of red (or salmon pink if you’re feeling brave) chinos because you saw it on the internet that everyone in Cambridge wears them. Stereotypes exist for a reason people, and why not start your time at uni by moulding yourself into the archetypal Cambridge student? How about wearing a gown? After buying one before you found out that Churchill students don’t wear them, you’re still determined to get at least one good use out of it. Maybe you’re a fan of Harry Potter and will do anything to make Churchill seem just a little bit more like Hogwarts. But when it comes to the typical school leavers’ hoodie, I refer you to the sassy ice queen that once sang ‘Let it Go’. You’re a Churchillian now. It’s also a good chance to get rid of that nickname emblazoned on the back that maybe felt super cool at the time but nowadays not so much. Finally, if you don’t love that light-blue beautifully-designed Churchill Freshers’ tshirt with a super relatable quote from old Winnie himself on the back, generously supplied by the great JCR Committee, there must be something wrong with you. All the cool kids will be wearing them, you watch this space. In case my message has completely disappeared behind my spectacular smokescreen of sarcasm: you should wear what you want and not conform to the expectations of your new friends. Who are they to question your choice to go out on the town, go to a supervision and then to Sainsbury’s all in an elephant onesie? You rock that onesie. But of course, there is one rule that must always be adhered to whilst at Churchill: on Wednesdays we wear pink. 32


Celebrities Say Things Rahul Savadia (Any

resemblance to similar/identical comedy features on other websites is purely coincidental/ deliberate)

“I don’t think there’s much in it” Snoopy - on the difference between red and green

“I haven’t urinated in months” Morgan Freeman - on general concerns

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“Sometimes I turn ‘em upside down, spin ‘em a few times and just see what happens. You gotta keep it fresh” Robert de Niro - on parenting

“Sentences – marvellous aren’t they? Just words that travel in packs, I suppose” David Attenborough - on the English language

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Sub-Editor | Ludo Sappa Cohen

Sports

Another year, another chance to talk about the things that really matter in this world - like sport! This week’s buzzword is ‘predictions’, with the start of the Rugby World Cup and the Premier League giving birth to the careers of a whole new set of ‘couch coaches’. They think they know better; they’re probably wrong. Elsewhere, we’ve taken a turn for the serious: Women’s football in FIFA ’16 - yay or nay? And what the hell do football clubs have to do with the refugee crisis? All will be revealed in the following pages. So, whether for you the ‘Twelve labours’ of Hercules is a typical Wednesday afternoon or just un-peeling yourself from the furniture requires an olympic effort, have a gander at the sports section - it might just interest you.

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5 Things to look out for in the Premier League this season Nick Waller 1) A much closer title race Let’s face it. Last season the title race was a bit boring. Although at times Manchester City got close, there was really only ever going to be one winner. However, with a few games of the season gone, Chelsea are nowhere to be seen near the top of the table and Manchester City have set the early running. Will the special one be able to turn things around and win a second successive title?

2) Easy games being less easy Ok, so there are no easy games in the Premier League. But a home tie against a recently promoted side like Bournemouth is probably one fixture that you would expect your team to win, right? Wrong. The frankly enormous sums of money spent in the transfer window means that many of the lesser known teams have managed to acquire seriously high profile names. Bournemouth, for example, spent £7 million on ex-Chelsea and Ivory Coast international Max Gradel, while playing Stoke on a rainy Monday night will now involve facing up against Swiss World Cup star Xherdan Shaqiri. There truly are no easy games in the Premier League.

3) Champions league success? The last few seasons for English clubs in Europe have been, in a word, disappointing. With only two clubs making the quarter-finals of the Champions League in the last three seasons and none making it last year, a tournament once dominated by English clubs has had a more continental taste in recent times. However, a new TV deal has been signed, 36


granting greater financial stability for clubs and thus increasing expenditure on players. With Manchester City spending over £100 million and Chelsea signing experienced Barcelona player Pedro, Champions League success is surely on the cards for English clubs this season.

‘The new Henry?’

4) Anthony Martial One of the craziest summer transfer signings I’ve ever seen: Anthony Martial. I had never heard of him before he signed for Manchester United, but obviously Ed Woodward has done the maths and believes a guy who had only scored 3 senior goals as a professional prior to the move is worth £36 million. He scored a fantastic goal against Liverpool on his debut and followed it up by bagging a match winning brace against Southampton. The fact that no one seems to know anything about him makes the story all the more fascinating and watching his development will certainly be one of this season’s big talking points.

5) One Season wonders Last season we witnessed surprisingly impressive campaigns from some players: Harry Kane, Saido Berahino and Wilfred Bony all finished high up the scoring charts. It will be interesting to see whether they can replicates such tallies heading into the dreaded second season. Performing consistently is the difference between the good and the great and in recent times, players like Andy Carroll and Michu have all failed to match their breakthrough season heroics. We shall soon see who avoids becoming another name on that list. 37


Fifa ‘16 Women’s Teams – A step towards equality or a shameless publicity stunt? Robert Smyth

It’s been a while coming. Back in 2013, Fernanda Schabarum’s online petition to persuade EA Sports to include female players in the next installation of their gaming franchise obtained over 13,000 signatures. Ultimately though, EA Sports decided against doing so, citing game mechanics and player movement as prohibiting their use of women in the game. However, just over two years later, they have returned with a new animation system which, they say, grants them enough control to distinguish females from their male counterparts and therefore the possibility of recreating female footballers in their latest installment of the FIFA series.

It’s easy to applaud EA Sports for this step: after all, achieving gender equality is one of the most important issues facing this generation and, though it will probably not be attained in our lifetime, we can certainly take some large steps towards it. Ridding ourselves of common gender perceptions is an important part of this, and EA Sports deserve 38


credit for sending out a clear signal that both football and gaming aren’t just for boys. But I feel this isn’t a statement by EA Sports to say they are supporting gender equality. I think this is a publicity stunt.

Now don’t get me wrong – whatever the reasoning behind the decision, it is the correct one. We should be encouraging more young women into football and more football fans to watch the women’s game. But if gender equality was so important to EA Sports then why have they taken so long to introduce this feature? Back in 2000, Mia Hamm Soccer 64 had the option of entirely female teams, as did UEFA Dream Soccer. Why has it taken 15 years for the biggest football gaming franchise in the world to follow suit?

‘Perhaps not the best graphically, but 15 years ahead of FIFA in its inclusion of women.’ In previous years, EA sports have used women in their games sparingly. Their biggest prior break-through in terms of gender equality was their inclusion of the WPGA Tour in Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2014. But this seems like a half-hearted gesture to me; only five women feature compared to the thirty five male characters available in the men’s PGA tour. Similarly other EA Sports titles like NHL ’13 39


and EA Sports UFC have included women, but only two in each. Madden ‘16, meanwhile, only recently introduced females into its crowd (?!); that’s despite about a third of American Football spectators being women.

‘Previously the only females present in EA Sport’s Madden series were the cheerleaders – make of that what you will.’ The biggest disappointment for me though, as a football and FIFA fan, is the lack of effort. Despite having the resources to create several domestic women’s leagues, as well as international teams, they have opted only to include limited squads of twelve countries, contrasted with the hundreds of men’s teams which feature in the game.

The inclusion of women is certainly a step in the right direction, and will help give women’s football the recognition it deserves. But if EA Sports are really looking to push gender equality in their games, then they have a huge amount of work to do.

If any women reading do want to get involved in Churchill’s Women’s Football team then email Sophie Brown (sb2035). It’s a great sport to get involved in and a rewarding way of meeting new people! 40


Refugees Welcome Ludovic Sappa Cohen I’ve never been made to feel unwelcome because of my identity. Nobody has anyone ever made the restriction of my movement their number one priority. Nor previously did I acknowledge such a position of privilege. Yet, on the return leg of my trip to Italy, as I crossed the border to southern France en route to Nice Côte d’Azur, a ten minute refugee search conducted by a menacing collection of gendarmerie gave me a glimpse at the flipside of that coin. It is with this in mind that I congratulate the wonderfully positive response of the footballing community to the refugee crisis.

As was the case in politically, German clubs led the way. If it wasn’t Bayern Munich offering their stadium as accommodation and pledging €1 million towards various projects, it was Borussia Dortmund inviting 220 refugees to watch a match. Soon the rest of Europe got involved: the European Club Association, which represents the interests of football clubs in UEFA, announced a plan to donate €1 for every ticket sold during this month’s Champions League and Europa League matches - a contribution that ECA chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge claims could raise up to €3m (£2.18m). Oh, and remember the boy whose father was maliciously tripped on camera by a Hungarian journalist? A few weeks ago, he walked out onto the famous Santiago Bernabéu holding the hand of none other than Cristiano Ronaldo. Now that’s how to show people they are welcome.

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So, why are Europe’s top clubs lending their support to the refugees? Two potential answers immediately come to mind: moral duty and good PR. At the risk of being labelled as ‘naïve’ or ‘anatomically uninformed’, I honestly believe that some professionals in the world of football have hearts. Yes they work fantastically hard to hide this fact behind quarrels over the exact number of millions they feel they’re worth (see Raheem Sterling’s public rejection of a contract extension worth £100k a week from Liverpool in April), but this should be weighed up against players like David - I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you - Beckham, who donated his entire salary to charity while playing for Paris Saint-Germain.

And while a cynic could easily argue that this, like the response to the refugee crisis, simply constitutes a good PR move, it is worth noting that the initiative to donate funds raised through ticket prices was also instituted in areas where popular opinion rests firmly against supporting refugees. In Israel, where Prime Minister Netanyahu has refused the idea of taking in some of the refugees, Maccabi Tel Aviv fans held up a banner reading ‘Refugees Not Welcome’ in protest. While this was countered by another banner from the Hapoel Tel Aviv supporters, it is clear that the support can sometimes be divisive and, ultimately, risky PR.

I, however, find a third way the most persuasive. For me, it boils down to the fact that football clubs are real stakeholders in this crisis. Take Germany, for instance. Both the country and its football leagues hold links to the Middle East and areas on the edge of Europe. Without venturing into too much detail, it is clear that a strong Turko-German connection exists - illustrated by both the players available to the national team (think 42


Özil, Gündoğan and Emre Can) and the lucrative sponsorship deals signed by clubs like Borussia Dortmund with Turkish Airlines and other firms. Indeed, similar connections are being sought for many of the countries in the surrounding area of conflict, such as Iran.

‘A stunt to make Leo more popular?’ Does this detract from the moral quality of the action? No. It simply suggests that these clubs know they get a good deal by doing good. Maybe David Cameron could look into it sometime.

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Churchill Tennis Club Adam Lalák Tennis is one of Churchill College’s most popular and successful sports. The college has three hard courts on site with three additional grass courts during Easter term – just in time for you to topple Djokovic at SW19. It is open to players of all levels and interests whether you are a wannabe Federer (aka Dimitrov) or just wish to have a fun and banter-filled hit (aka Nick Kyrgios). Matches will be held throughout the year with trials taking place at the start of Michaelmas term. The only requirement is that players imitate the style of Nadalslayer Dustin ‘Dreddy’ Brown. Friendly matches begin in Michaelmas featuring two teams of six. In Lent term things get serious as the Cuppers tournament takes place. Churchill has historically performed well winning two years ago. Let’s not wait 77 years for another! If you are looking to play for fun there will also be social tennis sessions and events held at the start of term and throughout the year. All interested are welcome to come along for thrilling rallies and delirious celebrations.

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Sub-Editor | Nora Kertesz

Comment

I know that everyone’s biggest dream growing up is to become a columnist and live the fabulous life of Carrie Bradshaw & co. Well you might as well start calling me fairy godmother, because I’m about to make this fantasy a reality for you! If you feel like you have what it takes (a unique perspective and a weakness for Manolos) don’t hesitate to email me at nk436@cam.ac.uk!

And just to show you that I’m not bluffing, I’m very happy to announce and introduce to you our new column, ‘Sexy Socialism’, written by 2nd year politics student Madi Jones-Casey! A few exclusive words on the column by the woman herself:

“As the product of a family who was too busy protesting the Tory Party conference to take me back to uni for second year, I feel I am the best qualified person to use this column to express a socialist outlook, that, as well as being right, is damn sexy.” In other sexy news, we also have articles about Land Economists, and a very offensive viral video – enjoy! 45


Labour Leadership Election:

Sexy Socialism | a column by Madeleine Jones-Casey

Quite frankly, #JEZWEDID The new deputy leader of the Labour party, Tom Watson gave his acceptance speech as we all wondered whether that was sweat or the tears of a broken man gliding down Andy Burnham’s face. Liz Kendall’s eyes hid nothing, a distinct wall of tears was barely masking the “shoot me now” look that we had all become accustomed to, almost fond of by this point in the campaign. But this time it had an added sense of urgency. I’m describing 12th September 2015, when the four campaigns for the position of Labour Party leader culminated in an astonishing 59.5% of first preference votes calling for the man who had beaten 2001 odds, Jeremy Corbyn, to lead the party in a new direction. I was overjoyed. The remnants of my hangover fizzled away with the joy of an overwhelming democratic victory and the promise of a shift towards socialism in the party I had honestly begun to lose faith in. This, however, was not the reaction of everyone. I was fortunate enough to work for the (now former) Shadow Cabinet Secretary for the Cabinet Office during the final week of the campaign, and the opinions of her staff were profoundly anti-Corbyn. The very idea of the Islington-North MP emerging victorious created an intense atmosphere, which quite honestly was not helped by the other members of staff seeing my phone background...nothing other than a selfie of me with “the biggest threat to our national security, our economic security and your family’s security” (™ David Cameron 2015), that’s right, Corbyn himself. How had I managed to ignite such animosity among Labour party staff by standing by (both 46


ideologically and physically in the selfie) a Labour candidate who stood for the party’s original values?

It is not news to anyone that many of those within the establishment of the Labour Party are not fans of Corbyn. Where I worked, the mantra was “Andy or Yvette…Andy or Yvette”. It was repeated so many times it began to sound like the name of a failing X-Factor duo. But more telling than either their distaste for Corbyn or their insistence on the two other ‘credible’ candidates, was the half -joking confession that “thing is with Andy, he just doesn’t believe what he’s saying does he? But that’s better that Corbyn who believes more than he can publicly say!” That was the fear that lingered over this campaign for some- Corbyn is too extreme. In light of the overwhelming result of the election, it is clear that the views held by my Labour party co-workers were thankfully not those held by the majority of party members and supporters. I was lucky enough to experience the views of the majority when I volunteered at Corbyn’s Manchester rally. “I haven’t seen anything like this since The Boss! You know? Springsteen!” This remark which I overheard from one of the thousands of people queuing to get into the venue to see Corbyn stuck with me. My fellow 47


volunteers had been talking about an event which Burnham had held in Manchester a few days earlier- it was £125 a head. Yet here I was, seeing such a hugely wide variety of people gathered together inside a packed venue, all on their feet cheering wildly as it was announced by Corbyn – “welcome to the mass movement of giving a toss about stuff”. It seems that rather than watching Corbyn’s acceptance speech on their television screens on the 12th September, some gazed out of their windows in horror, smeared across the sky in a dirty, communist red they saw the warning ‘THE END I.S NIGH’ (™ The Sun 18th September 2015). The future was clear to them, we could kiss goodbye to British values. The Queen? Gone. Our whole military? Gone. The free market? Ha, don’t even think about it. However to others, like myself and the people I met at the Manchester rally, this election shows that the Labour Party is getting its spark back. After two depressing defeats, the party has become a huge grassroots movement againmore people signed up to vote for Jeremy Corbyn than there are members of the Conservative Party. The Labour Party’s members voted for a new kind of politics, overwhelmingly so, and that is what Corbyn, with his unprecedented mandate, will hopefully provide.

(I made this and I’m not even ashamed- it’s just true.) 48


How To Train Your Land Economist Robert Smyth With the Cambridge term starting, many of you will be looking for a dependable friend to share a crystal glass of port with. There are many qualities you will be looking for in this fine chap: a loyal nature, an impeccable wardrobe, and above all, an understanding of how wonderful the Conservative party are. You may feel that there is little hope of finding a gentleman such as this, and be willing to settle for someone who only ticks a couple of the boxes. But if you are willing to put the work into training them, there is a rare breed that can fulfil this difficult role. Let me introduce to you: the Land Economists. This group of lads knows how to uphold the dinner etiquette and tell the difference between a 12 and 18 year old Glenfiddich Scotch Whisky. But they are a temperamental bunch, and one wrong move could send them into an enraged rant. So I have drawn on my experience to give you a few top tips on how to keep your Land Economist happy, and thus have that wine and cheese evening you’ve always dreamed of.

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1) Never ask them to concentrate on more

than one thing at a time. You may think this is a simple rule to follow but it is the one most often broken, sending your distinguished guest into a Camembertfuelled meltdown. Land Economists have many important things flitting through their minds, all of which contribute to their exemplary manners. Overloading of the brain will break down this important pathway and result in severe emotional reactions.

(The scene about thirty minutes after I asked my Land Economist to pass me the cheese board while he was listening to the election night broadcast. Croquet mallets were involved.)

2) Do not ask them about rowing. Unless you fancy talking about the morning outing for three and a half hours. The official sport of the Land Economist is rowing; and damn, are they dedicated to it. Make sure your gatherings don’t interfere with their strict training schedules. No, seriously. Don’t mention the ‘r-word’. Please.

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(The sport of Kings.)

3) Always provide them with fine wine. Land Economists are a picky bunch and the wine you provide at your social events must be of high quality. I’m afraid that Sainsbury’s finest just will not do. Don’t even think about Aldi. Champagne of course is always acceptable, though avoid serving ‘fizzy’ – Champagne or nothing.

(The best place to source your upper-end wine.)

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4) Never, ever speak ill of Margaret Thatcher. With most being well over six feet tall and powerhouses of upper body strength, it would be highly inadvisable to insult their heroine. Indeed, many dinner parties have been ruined for at least twenty minutes as the body of a foolish socialist, who decided that the Iron Lady wasn’t the greatest thing to ever happen to British politics, was disposed of. Actually while I am on the topic of politics, it would probably be wise to avoid mentioning Jeremy Corbyn too…

(Shrines to the Iron Lady are often found in the homes of Land Economists.) These are just some of the things to avoid when around your Land Economist – there are many others. As I (hopefully) survive my experiences with my Land Economist, I can continue to pass on my expertise, allowing all of you to find, and keep, one of your own – they are truly wonderful creatures. *Disclaimer: I disclaim the above. Also I learned today that apparently about 33% of Land Economists are female. Has anyone actually ever seen one? 52


Comedy ≠ bullying: The story of how well executed trolling can make unoriginal content go viral Nora Kertesz If you are a citizen of the internet like myself, you will have probably come across the “Dear Fat People” video and the controversy it has sparked all over YouTube – even reaching traditional media outlets like radio, TV, newspapers and news sites. The 6-minute viral video, created by Canadian ‘comedian’ Nicole Arbour and uploaded on the 3rd of September, has at time of writing reached over 6.8 million views on YouTube and 30 million on Facebook. Now here is the thing: I consider Nicole to be a trolling mastermind. The goal? Get people mad, talking about you and if possible go viral with it and make all the money – check, check, check and check! It’s perfectly executed, with an offensive topic that goes against the mainstream sentiment and upsets a large pool of people; disabled comments that result in the angry masses not just simply posting an outraged comment but sending their message via tweets, Facebook posts, articles and response videos, thus generating even more hype and views; and content as unoriginal and dated as fat people being slow, lazy, disgusting, inconsiderate and smelly (“They complain, and they smell like sausages, and I don’t even think they ate sausages, that’s just their aroma. They were so fat that they’re that ‘standing sweat’ fat. Crisco was coming out of their pores.”).

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The only (glaringly obvious) problem with the whole situation is the message this video is sending and the effects of such messages. Trolls don’t necessarily actually believe what they’re saying, as their only objective is to get a certain reaction – which is all well and good for the most part, but it clearly becomes problematic with such a sensitive, personal subject. It is true that (as Nicole also points out in the video) people seem to get offended by anything lately, however in this case I do think it is justified. 6 minutes of just downright mean fat-shaming with revelations such as “you’re too fat, you should stop eating” is way too damaging to just hide behind the claim of being ‘satire’ or ‘comedy’ – especially considering how unfunny it is (while I admittedly have a weird sense of humor, you should believe me on this one).

There is a reason why the body positivity movement has been growing so rapidly, and is still on the rise. Nicole claims that she is trying to help and say things as they are so that people become healthy – but all that her “hella brave” and “new” method achieves is to lower the selfconfidence and self-worth of the people she addresses and belittles, even having the capability to cause depression or suicidal thoughts. And her other claim, of starting an open and honest conversation about obesity clearly went out the window a long time ago, when she disabled comments and ratings. So dear Nicole – while I agree that comedy shouldn’t always remain politically correct, there is a more creative and successful way of doing it, that would only damage its audience in one way: if they fell off their chair from laughing too hard. 54


Review

Sub-Editor | Hannah Bowstead

Sub-Editor | Mimi Evagora-Campbell

It seemed like only yesterday that a fresher-faced Mimi and Hannah stumbled through the entrance of Churchill, clutching our own freshers’ issues of Winston. And now look how far we’ve come (not very far) – writing about Churchill courts and other colleges to entertain a whole new cohort of freshers. There’s also a heart-warming review of Inside Out to get stuck into. Enjoy! A very warm welcome to you all. If you love reading, viewing, listening to or looking at stuff, and wish to pen harsh criticisms of said stuff in order to augment your own feeling of self-worth, then this is the place for you. Not that we’re biased or anything, but Review is the easiest and most fun section to get involved in – you get to experience books, films, plays, gigs, anything really, plus you have all the enjoyment of praising or mercilessly destroying it afterwards. What’s not to love? There’s even a rumour flying around that we’ll pay for your tickets, but shhh, we don’t want the others finding out about that, do we? We only hope that our inexhaustible knowledge of Churchill and Cambridge proves of use to you. 55


Inside Out Review Lucy Morgan ***** I had the pleasure of seeing Pixar’s Inside Out twice in the space of one month and both times the poignant movie brought me to tears. The story revolves around two interlinking plot lines. The external is more simplistic, following eleven-year-old Riley and her family’s move from Minnesota to San Francisco. The second, inner plot revolves around Riley’s five key emotions: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust. They work together to determine how Riley reacts and what she feels. But during the move, Joy and Sadness get lost in Riley’s mind and struggle to make it back to ‘headquarters’. The witty script effectively combines humour and sincerity to make the animated film extremely relevant. From Sadness’s observation that “Crying helps [her] slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems” to a young boy’s emotions running around panicking while a ‘girl alert’ sign flashes in the background, the film was an absolute joy to watch. The movie successfully comments on the process of growing up and learning the role of sadness in life. It even gives a glimpse of what depression can feel like. It exceeded all my expectations for meaningful entertainment, and for that reason I highly recommend it as a must see for this year.

Inside Out clearly targets the way people

think about emotions and the brain, presenting psychological theory in an entertaining setting. But does it really reach the depth of the issues? Or does it fail to overwhelm in part because that is such an obvious aim? 56


This is an area in which I don’t think any movie can ever really win. This movie could be accused of being too obvious, boldly presenting a theory, and in doing so losing some of the subtleties that make other movies so great. But other movies are so subtle that the message isn’t conveyed at all. Honestly, I think Inside Out managed to walk very close to the line that would be perfect in this area. Although the psychological theory was pretty obvious, the movie was still entertaining and the dialogue held many hidden gems. I didn’t go to the cinema expecting to think about emotions and the process of growing up so I was pleasantly surprised. But if I had gone in expecting an emotional education I might well have been disappointed. Therefore, my advice is: go see this movie, enjoy the wit and surprising relatability, just don’t expect to have your whole view of emotions changed. But without a doubt, go see this movie.

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Announcements:

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Announcements: Spring Ball 2016 Attention Freshers! Take a red marker and get your calendars out. Got them? Good. Now go to February 13th 2016 and put a big red circle around it – you know what, make it a heart. Why, I hear you ask? Because it marks the biggest, most exciting and most fun event of the academic year here at Churchill – Churchill Spring Ball 2016! By now you may or may not have heard about the ball culture in the ‘Bridge, which is mostly focused in a crazy, extravagant week after exams (#mayweek2k16 #gethyped). However, here at Churchill we don’t conform to such mainstream trends – and Week 5 of Lent term just feels so much better if you know that you have a ball right in the middle of it. So make sure that you don’t miss out on this fabulous and wonderful opportunity to see your beloved college transformed into a magical wonderland for a few hours and keep your eyes peeled for the launch formal, where the top secret theme will be revealed – I already happen to know what it will be, and let me tell you this much, it’s gonna be a good one!

‘If this doesn’t scream fabulous to you, I don’t know what does!’ 59


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