THE IN-HOUSE MAGAZINE FOR CHURCH RESOURCES
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Volume 2, Issue 2 November/December 2013
Happy Christmas, everyone!
Our values for Nov/Dec/Jan Nov = Respect… it’s almost the holidays, but we have to keep going till Dec 20! Dec = Purpose… our purpose over the holidays is to take care of ourselves and the people we love Jan = Caring… time to care about all that ham scoffed, chocolates wiped out and beers necked
Our CR mission—deliver on the biz plan! We have drawn a close on our first quarter of the 2013/14 financial year, just wanted to remind us all about our Business Plan and the vision we want to deliver. Here are some of those exciting outcomes we can expect if we stay focused; benchmarked customer service standard to achieve; rapid expansion across our business into social media; online buying capability; new sales and marketing IT platform; CR-led Member Events program; return to ‘giving’ to those in need and
saving our members in excess of $55m.
2012/13, we will do it again.
As the image here suggests, to be successful in 2013/14 we have to head to the right and understand the vision, progressively work through the strategy and the plan, aligning our activities accordingly.
When we reach June next year and we have delivered, we will have 250,000 Readers of our publications, a 65%+ Member and supplier satisfaction rating, a benchmark and target for Employee Engagement, and contributed $500k of ‘giving’ under our Corporate Responsibility & Sustainability program.
Once we get this right, we partner and innovate to deliver. As I said recently when I took you through the budget, your role (irrespective of its structural position) is required to help us be successful. We proved that in
Our strategy for 2013/14 is a good one, so let’s deliver on it and enjoy. - Luke
Inside this issue: The Cup!
2/5
Jenny in Sri Lanka
6/9
Fire!
10
CR@Gosford
13
Our newbies
15+
Luke in Beijing
18
Listen up!
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CRUNCH The CR annual Melbourne Cup bash We used to go out for the afternoon. But then we discovered that staying in could also be great fun.
Luke was the best bookie he could, organising the sweeps, but it was Caz, his new EA, who shot out of the blocks. Not only did she organise a
terrific event—great decos etc and huge pudding—but she found time to make her own hat. Which won first prize. WTG, Caz!
Linda, Jessie, Jason and Shaz getting ready for a huge plunge!
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The food was yet to turn up!
Carolyn, wondering...
Colleen also wondering—about what Iain’s hat could possibly mean
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Publishing's newest recruit, Jamie-Lee‌. Gets a bet on with Mark
Chilling with the team from the CEC
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Volume 2, Issue 2 Two amigos from Strat Partnerships, Tony and Mark
Winners are grinners! Caz, the queen of the hat, and the table, and the decos
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CRUNCH Jenny’s excellent adventure in Sri Lanka! 1: Our Journey made to Local News paper “Ceylon Today – 24 Oct 2013” 2: Team- Cardamom Having fun and cooking with professional chefs 3: Beautiful view from Vivanta by Taj hotel
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4 Traditional Sri Lankan Cultural show with drummer and dancers
5 Stunning view,, Stopped for lunch @ 98 Acres Resort
8 My very first cooked Hoppers, served mainly for breakfast in Sri Lanka
10 Tuk Tuk advanture, off to visit Spice garden to buy local fruit for Cook-off
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Michelle’s house in the firing line! ‘Ouch!’ That’s what Michelle thought when she saw the flames sweeping through Davidson Reserve near her home. She packed the boys Nick and Ben, the dog, and the bird, into the car… and took them off to a friend’s house. She later moved them to her mother’s place for the night.
While a lot of people had a much worse time of it, the fire units, and the helicopters, indicated how close this fire was raging to a built up area. Here at CR, we are known for our support of various causes— Caritas, Vinnies, Catholic Mission, the Salvos, the Wayside Chapel are just some who have
been on our list to help. With the current fire relief appeal, we are making a substantial contribution. CR has put up $2000, the Leadership team has donated a further $550, and we are hoping to get to $3000 with staff contributions. Stop press: We got there! WTG, CR staffers!
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The view from Michelle’s place recently. Too close for comfort!
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Fire prevention—some useful strategies The Fire Prevention Strategy isa program about prvention and awareness in identifying high risk locationsand putting in place treatment options to reduce the risk of fire from occurring. There are four main strategies that can be implemented either as a stand alone orin combination with each other, depending upon the issue. This Prevention Plan provides a broad outline and basis for the implementation of strategies, but should incorporate the fire assessment and safety checklists as these provide the detail to the strategy.
and the Police Citizens Youth Club Removing the opportunity – this strategy involves partnerships between the affected stakeholders such as the local community, businesses and local government to address issues such as:- abandoned vehicles; - abandoned/derelict buildings; - rubbish removal;
• School visits combining localresources such as NSW Police Force, and/orthe NSW Fire Brigades and/or NSW Rural Fire Service • Shopping centre displays again combining localresources such as NSW Police Force and/or NSW Fire Brigades and/or NSW Rural Fire Service • A door knock of the target area by local police and/orfire representative where a survey/ interview can be carried out. • Programs already in existence, which could also be utilised include NRMA Bizsafe program; Community FireWise Groups
implemented by liaising with educational institutions, community youth groups and Juvenile Justice and delivering programs that explain the consequences of malicious fire setting • Implementing an educational program within local schools of target areas and the PCYC. • Regular media releases promoting fire prevention strategies • Identifying juvenile firesetters within local schools, develop and implement intervention strategies through appropriate counselling and local youth programs to reduce the risk of arson.
Reducing arson vulnerability This strategy involves community education forresidents, business owners/managers and educational facilities. It encourages the community to take some ownership of the problem.
the issue This strategy can be
- garbage collection procedures • improved lighting • Support from local government and councils can assist in enforcing their powers under Acts such as the Local Government Act, 1993 and the Environmental Protection Act, 1994. • Support from both the NSW Fire Brigades and the NSW Rural Fire Service
Examples of community safety programs that are in existence and can be used include Intervention & Fire Awareness Program (IFAP), Community Fire Unit, Brigade Kids & RescueEd and NSW Police Youth Liaison and School Police Officers.
Improving security This can be implemented by reinforcement through Crime Stoppers, neighbourhood programs, community policing and community fire safety officers. • Utilising the Fire Prevention Assessment Checklists
• Support from various units within the NSW Police Force.
• Implementing the Fire Prevention Treatment Options
The FESA of WA (Fire & Emergency Services Authority of Western Australia) has a similar program.
• Incorporating the Fire Prevention Arson ID Checklist
Increasing
education
on
• Promoting the Crime Stoppers number 1800 333 000
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A day at the races‌. Luke and Julie hit Gosford!
Luke with Peter, the business manager of the Broken Bay Diocese
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CRUNCH Amazing day at the Gosford Races for the CEO, Julie and Christine as CR entertained some of the Central Coast Members at Bishop David Walker’s annual race day. Donnie Sutherland (below) was MC….
Keen punters on the CR table… that’s Pan, in the front, and Julie lost in her race book.
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Volume 2, Issue 2 Caroline steps in to support Luke and Don... What is your job at Church Resources? Executive Assistant to CEO & General Manager, Member Services Previous job? (Most Interesting) British Army as Military Clerk in Adjutant’s General’s Corps Married? 10 years to Craig Children? Lara 6 years old, Leo 5 years old Born and bred? Leeds, West Yorkshire, England Hobbies or Passions? Roller Derby - Member of the Central Coast Roller Derby League (CCRG). Anything creative – drawing, painting, papiermâché, planning Events Reading? Richelle Mead, JR Ward, PC Cast and Rachel Caine (I love Vampire Books) Last film? At home – This Is The End, Now You See Me & The Conjuring Cinema – Disney’s Turbo On your iPod? (I love POP Girly, Boy band music) Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, One Direction, Katy Perry, it goes on (NO Justine Bieber though) Where would you like to travel and why? I would love to do an African Safari and sleep under the stars, my favourite animal is the Lion and I would love to see one in the wild What is the best compliment you have ever got? ‘You’re the best Mum in the World’ equally I get ‘I hate you, you’ve ruined my life’ from the same source
What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? Camel’s tongue
the mock city in the training facility, the adrenaline and excitement was awesome.
What’s one of the scariest or strangest things you’ve ever done? I sat in the shower room of the girls block in Northern Ireland wearing a Flak jacket and helmet. It was during the night in the first week of arriving at my first unit. A Coffee jar bomb had been thrown over the wall, lucky it didn’t go off.
Do you have a nickname? Caz. Army nickname ‘Patch’ my maiden name was Pachniuk (pronounced Patch nook). Roller Derby name – ‘Corporal Punishment’
Most exciting was mock rioting for the Royal Irish Regiment. We had to throw bottles and bricks at Soldiers in riot gear and their vehicles, shouting abuse. It went on through the day and night, then they set oil drums on fire and set fire to cars. All at
What are your proudest of in your life? Passing out of Basic training, I felt so smart and my parents were so proud I’m also proud of all the events I’ve planned, because they were successful but thoroughly enjoyable to do What is the one thing you would like to do before you die? Climb a very high Mountain and do a Marathon
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Welcome to the Finance team, Allen! Chinese Songs, Jazz, Talk Shows… What is the best compliment you have ever got? “We would never make it without you.” – from my previous supervisor. What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? Dog (there is a kind of dog just for food purpose.) Do you have a nickname? Happy Boy
What is your job at Church Resources? Accountant
Hobbies or Passions? Sports Shooting & Squash
Previous job? Accountant
Reading?
Married? Yes Children? Expecting
Last film? Angels and Demons
The Lost Symbol
On your iPod? Soft Music,
What are your proudest of in your life? I am going to be a father! What is the one thing you would like to do before you die? Breathe? Get my funeral organized? Sorry, no idea!
And the lucky fourth new starter at CR in November is What is your job at Church Resources? Digital Content Editor working with Christine and Michael in publishing. Previous job? For a good few years I was in insurance broking, then transferred to China. I became more and more involved in multimedia production, which I had
studied at university. Born and bred? Sydney though I've had a few detours since school, studying in Canberra, later working in Ireland, the UK and China. Hobbies or Passions? Hard to beat going to the beach! Film is my main hobby these days, as I can only use past
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Princess Leia joins the marketing team... What is your job at Church Resources? Member Information Representative!
Germany to meet the rest of my relatives. What is the weirdest thing
Previous job? Totalisator Operator at Tabcorp
you have ever eaten? Fried Tarantulas in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Never again. What’s one of the scariest or strangest things you’ve ever done? Apart from eating Tarantulas??
Married? No Born and bred? Chester Hill, Sydney
What is the best compliment you have ever got? That I am a thoughtful and a caring person.
Hobbies or Passions? Latvian Folk Dancing, films, live gigs and travelling
Do you have a nickname? Many. Princess Leia is the most commonly used.
Reading? Crime Fiction - currently reading Henning Mankell. Last film? Beetlejuice
What are you proudest of in your life?
On your iPod? Currently listening to Randy Newman, Sigur Ros, Fleetwood Mac, Talking Heads and Broadcast.
My close ties to and active involvement in the Australian Latvian community and working for Church Resources!
Where would you like to travel and why? As many places as humanly possible.
What is the one thing you would like to do before you die? Teach English in Latvia, so I can improve my Latvian language skills.
In particular, Vietnam to visit my good friend and
Theo… Publishing’s latest recruit tense when talking about playing cricket and rugby and a few other things. Reading? Mostly non-fiction these days - currently 'The Guns of August' about WW1 Last film? At the cinema 'Gravity' in 3D. I ducked. On your iPod? Podcasts and classic hits.
Where would you like to travel and why? The Beijing to Lhasa (Tibet) Express opened when I lived in China, but I never did get to do it. Would be quite an adventure. What is the best compliment you have ever got? ‘Theo, will you work for Church Resources?’ What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten? Fried scorpion. Foolishly I ordered this in Beijing
- but one of the critters got its revenge by hooking its stinger into the back of my jaw. This spoiled the next couple of courses and is not recommended. Do you have a nickname Yes. Yes I do. What is the one thing you would like to do before you die? Be particularly old.
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CRUNCH Luke and family go to Beijing for brother Simon’s wedding The opportunity (excuse) for me and the family to travel to Beijing came up when my brother announced he was marrying his fiance Yajing. We booked our flights along with my wider family members and a contingent of 12 Australians travelled to be there on the special day. The wedding was a great success, a Catholic wedding spoken in Madarin… fascinating. Yajing's family hired a mini bus and for the next three days we toured the Beijing Olympic site, Summer Palace, the Hutongs, the Pearl Markets, Forbidden City and the
Great Wall. The highlight was travelling two and half hours out of town to visit a sparsely populated tourist site of the wall, and where much of the wall had not been restored, making most of it aged between 600-650yrs old. A magic experience. We will be
back. I’m happy to chat to anyone who wants to know more....
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CRUNCH Making mis-matched communications styles match How can you learn to listen better when your communication styles don’t match. Mark Goulston has some answers |
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hy do people who consider themselves good communicators often fail to actually hear each other? Often it’s due to a mismatch of styles: To someone who prefers to vent, someone who prefers to explain seems patronizing; explainers experience venters as volatile. This is why so many of us see our conversational counterparts as lecturing, belaboring, talking down to us, or even shaming us
(if we are venters and they are explainers) or as invasive, out of control, and overly emotional (if we’re an explainer and they’re a venter). Facing this kind of mismatch, what do you think the chances are for either person actually listening with an open mind? My answer is… very low. It is tempting to say “zero,” but since it’s not possible (or even desirable) to work only with people who match your communication style, you need to develop the skill to try to listen around their communication style. Listening around that style, however, can be incredibly effortful. When someone is either venting/ screaming or explaining/ belaboring it triggers a part of
your middle emotional brain called the amygdala, which desperately wants to hijack your attentive listening and instead react reflexively with whatever your hardwired reactions are. And resisting that amygdala hijack is exhausting.
What do to with a venter/screamer If your conversational counterpart is a venter/screamer, your hardwired survival coping skill might be to tell them to calm down (which will only make them more upset), to shut down and get silent (which will only make them yell longer, because they’ll think you’re not listening), or to try to point out how irrational venting is (which, as noted above, they will perceive as patronizing and belaboring). Instead, say to yourself, “Okay, here comes another temper tantrum. Just let them blow. Try not to take it between the eyes and imagine you’re looking into the calm eye of a hurricane and the storm is going over your shoulder.” To do this, focus on their left eye. The left eye is connected to the right brain — the emotional brain. Let them finish. Then say, “I can see you’re really frus-
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Volume 2, Issue 2 trated. To make sure I don’t add to that, and to make sure I don’t miss something, what was the most important thing I need to do in the long term, what’s the critical thing I need to do in the short term, and what do I need to get done ASAP?” Reframing the conversation this way, after they’ve finished venting, will make sure that your “explainer” self knows what to do – instead of ignoring the venting as another random outburst from “Conan the Barbarian” or “the Wicked Witch of the West.” Chances are, they do have something important they’re trying to tell you – even though they’re not communicating it very well. After they respond, say to them, “What you just said is way too important for me to have misunderstood a word, so I’m going to say it back to you to make sure I am on the same page with you. Here’s what I heard.” Then repeat exactly, word for word, what they said to you. After you finish, say to them, “Did I get that right and if not, what did I miss?” Forcing them to listen to what you said they said, “because it was important,” will slow them down, will help you stay centered and in control, and will earn you their and your own respect.
What to do with an explainer/ belabourer If your conversational counterpart is an explainer, your hardwired survival coping skill might be to say to yourself, “Here they go again, make sure you smile politely even if you want to
pull your hair out. Try not to let your impatience and annoyance show.” The problem with this is that even though they may be oblivious to others as they go on and on, at some level they may be aware of your underlying impatience and… that might actually make them talk longer. Yikes. Realize that the reason they explain and belabor things is probably because their experience is that people don’t pay attention to what they say. They don’t realize that while that may be true of some truly distracted people, for others, the reason they don’t pay attention is that the speaker is belaboring something that the listener already heard — and doesn’t want to hear over and over again. Another possibility is that these explainers may not be feeling listened to somewhere else in their life (by their spouse, kids, parents, or boss) and is now relieved to have you as a captive audience. When the explainer goes into his explanation/lecture/filibuster, say to yourself, “Okay, this is going to take a while.” Put a mental bookmark in whatever you were working on. Then look them in their left eye with a look that says, “Okay, take your time, I’m fully listening.” Instead of feeling frustrated and reacting by become impatient and fidgety, remind yourself, “They need to do this. I can be patient.” Then when they finish then apply a similar response to the venter/ screamer with the following minor edit: “I can see that you really had a lot that you had to say. To make sure I don’t miss something, what
was the most important thing I need to do in the long term, what’s the critical thing I need to do in the short term, and what do I need to get done ASAP?” ” After they respond to that, say to them, “What you just said is way too important for me to have misunderstood a word, so I’m going to say it back to you to make sure I am on the same page with you. Here’s what I heard.” Then repeat exactly, word for word, what they said to you. After you finish, say to them, “Did I get that right, and if not, what did I miss?” Your amygdala is probably saying to you and to me, “I don’t want to do either of those things.
These people are obnoxious and unreasonable. Why should I kowtow to them?” Here are several reasons: 1 They aren’t likely to change. These are deeply ingrained personality traits. 2 Being more open and inviting them to talk rather than closed and resistant will lessen their need to act this way. Listening patiently hath charm to soothe the savage (or boring) beast. 3 You will feel more self-respect and self-esteem. The above approaches will enable you to remain cool, calm, collected, centered and communicative in situation that formerly frustrated
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CRUNCH They thunder in before you even know they are on their way and carry you away with them! You become "swept up" in the noise, panic and breathlessness and become completely unconscious of how you are reacting! Beware extreme emotions -things are never as they seem to be! Try to get to the feeling behind that emotion. Hint: It's usually a fear that came from your toddler thinking! 6. Reacting vs. Feeling and Responding We react when we come from emotions. We respond when we come from feeling. It's a bit like playing tennis. If one person tries to hit the ball over the net to keep the game going (responding), and the other one slams every ball back into the net (reacting) there is never any play, interaction or connection! When we react, we have said or done something before the heart has had time to engage -- the brain has volleyed a powerful shot! It didn't stay in the game or win the point but it was powerful! Sadly the power usually causes harm and rarely has a positive outcome. Our words have hurt someone and the situation or our behaviors now require an apology. Although the volley may have given you short term "satisfaction," it didn't give you peace. Responding requires listening, interpreting, feeling and addressing the feeling you sense in the other person! It's not an easy or simple task, but it's very rewarding and makes for great peace and success in life! 7. Doubt and Fear
If you have been reading this blog series you will have read a lot about my thoughts on fear and how to eradicate them. I will focus more on doubt here. Use doubt as a sign to explore further, or as an indication to gather more information. Too many people mistake doubt for discernment. Misused doubt can close you down to possibilities. Discernment allows for questioning and uses the extra information wisely while staying open to new options or thinking or ideas. Being permanently cynical or skeptical is not the sign of a master thinker! It's a sign of someone too afraid to explore the unknown or learn more. Doubt often plagues someone when they have not really tuned into their hearts knowing, and are doing something that ultimately will not work in their best interests! If you have made a decision and are full of doubt, not peace, STOP! Listen to your inner guide. Find out what you TRULY FEEL about this decision or situation. Then make your decision based on what your inspiration tells you. I bet the doubt goes away. 8. Loops of Thinking Have you ever heard a song and that song then plagues you for the next few hours? You only heard one snippet and yet it goes round and round in your head! Sorry to do this to you but think Disney's "It's a Small World After All!" Our own stories can be like that as well. We just keep repeating loops of phrases. "It's so unfair," "I deserve better," "I am unworthy," "I am scared," "I am
stressed," "I am not safe," and so on. Find the phrases that have become stuck in your brain that are negative or untrue and replace them with more positive and truthful statements. Watch your peace change dramatically! Why be negative with yourself -there are plenty of others outside you willing to do that! Do not let them take away your peace -- don't start looping on the nasty song they want to put in your heart!! 9. Selfishness The last of the peace busters is selfishness. Selfishness is a state where we are disconnected from our inner God, our spiritual nature, our divinity. When we are truly connected to our higher selves we realize there is no separation, and how we treat others is how we treat ourselves! Wanting only what you think you want for yourself; more of the pie; what someone else has; not forgiving or being generous with others in spirit as well as in other ways; not caring about how you impact on others feelings are just some of the ways we become selfish. And all it brings is heartache, separation and the opposite of peace -- more fear. Remember you are connected to everything and everyone -- you feel peace. Our journey on earth is usually about remembering and reconnecting to that oneness. Then you will find that peace I found lying in Gods hand!
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Volume 2, Issue 2 CR Health: Cool workout tips for hot weather... You’ll be psyched to try these 10 keep-it-cool discoveries by Hallie Levine Sklar The only problem with hot weather is that, well, it's so darn hot outside. Put the cool factor back into your workout routine with these tricks from top fitness pros:
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.Adjust your body temperature. Hop into a cold shower before your workout. A German study this year found that a pre-exercise cooldown improves performance in the heat -- probably because it lowers your heart rate as well as core and skin temperatures. Too chicken to try it? Even just cooling your neck or head with an ice pack may make a difference.
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Check the map. Does your usual running route leave you broiling in the sun? Find a shady new one through the Road Runners Club of America (rrca.org), which features running routes around the country via Google maps. You can also log on to weather.com, which offers a local parks forecast, a fitness comfort index, and an hourly forecast to help you figure out the best time of day to exercise.
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Keep tabs on your ticker. The hotter it is, the harder your body has to
work. So if you normally run at a 9-minute-mile pace, when the temperature hits 90 you may find yourself having to slow down to a 10.
"This is where a heart-rate monitor comes in handy. You can make sure you're not pushing yourself too hard in warmweather conditions, which can up your risk of heat exhaustion or even heatstroke," explains Todd Durkin, owner of Fitness Quest 10 in San Diego. One of our favorite new models: Garmin's Forerunner 205 ($249.99, garmin.com/dealers), which not only monitors your heart but also your speed, distance, pace, and calories (it comes with a supersensitive GPS system that even works on treecovered trails and near tall buildings). More of a low-tech type? Both Timex and Reebok offer heart-rate monitors with fewer bells and whistles for as little as $50. An even simpler way to check that you're not overdoing it: Try to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. You'll know you're exercising hard enough when you have to take a quick breath every three to six words (murmur it under your breath if you're worried about getting funny looks).
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Get the dirt. Try to walk, run, or cycle on dirt or gravel paths, since asphalt and concrete tend to radiate heat and reflect the sun's rays, making you feel hotter. Live near water? Take advantage of the breeze on even steamy days; if possible, start out with the wind at your back, so when you're finishing you'll be running into a headwind, which is cooler.
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Cool down with essential oils. Dabbing a few drops of peppermint or eucalyptus oil on the back of your neck and at your temples just before your workout provides a cooling effect and also opens up your nasal passages, so you can breathe a little easier when the air is humid, says Minna Lessig, creator of the Tank Top Arms, Bikini Belly, Boy Shorts Bottom DVD. In fact, research has found that athletes who sniffed peppermint during their workout ran faster, had greater grip strength, and could do more push-ups than those who didn't.
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What global warming looks like down below... Convincing doubters about the dangers of climate change is a hard job, one that becomes even more difficult when, as is the case with coral reefs, the cause of alarm is obscured by water. The Catlin Seaview Survey, an effort launched in 2012 as part of the Global Reef Record, aims to make the destruction easier to visualize. Using high-tech underwater cameras (the same ones
Google Seaview uses), Catlin has been capturing 360-degree panoramas of various ocean reefs around the world. The images are analyzed and compared to photos taken in the same spots at earlier dates, thereby establishing both a baseline of reefs' health and a trajectory for their decline. From a non-scientific standpoint,
the panoramas have pulled back the curtain on the widespread coral reef destruction caused by climate change. "The record is not just for scientists," explains the project's website. "It is for everyone, from policymakers to the general public. For the first time in history, ocean change will be made plainly visible for all to see."
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Volume 2, Issue 2
Heron Island, Australia. May 18, 2013.
St. Crispin's Reef, Australia. Nov. 14, 2012.
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Agincourt Reef, Australia. Nov. 14, 2012.
Osprey Reef, Australia. Nov. 14, 2012.
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Osprey Reef, Australia. Nov. 14, 2012.
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CRUNCH How to make your search for inner peace a success! - By Amanda Gore
was God's grace.
The most peaceful moment of my life that I remember was an experience I had with a counselor one day. Without warning, I imagined I was a little toddler lying curled up in the enormous hand of God!
As this peace embraced her, she said she "knew" the boys would both be okay. Sure enough, several months later, despite all predictions that the recovery would be extremely difficult and fraught with danger, none of these predictions happened.
I have never felt such safety, peace and... it's hard to put into words! I felt as if I could go to sleep and feel totally safe, protected, cared for and loved. I have tried to reproduce that feeling a gazilllion times since! Have you ever had a similar experience? Or anything that made you feel totally at peace and safe?
Grace I believe that what I experienced was a moment of grace. I also believe that people are allowed to have their own spiritual beliefs, so although I use the words God's grace, please feel free to substitute your equivalent! A wonderful friend of mine in Vermont told me this story as I was writing about the secret of equanimity in my book; two of her nephews had a terrible crash into each other on their snowmobiles. As they were looking on and waiting for the paramedics to intervene, she consoled the hysterical sisters of these two boys. One had been very seriously injured and the other one looked very bad. Everyone was distraught. In the midst of this tragedy, a tremendous sense if peace "descended" on her, is how she described it. She too thought this
Both boys had a miraculous recovery in an extraordinarily short space of time. There was no physical reason for this, but Brenda's sense of peace about it was justified -- despite how it looked from our normal perceptions and eyes. Can you think of a time when you have just "known" something? There may not be any rational reason for knowing -you just knew it was true. Can you recall the feeling you had with it? I bet it was peace! Tap into that knowing. Follow its direction. Life goes more smoothly and peacefully!
Peace Based on Knowing When we make the right decision we feel peace -- and our stomach doesn't churn! A churning stomach after you have made a decision is probably a sign that all is not well! Perhaps you need more information before you go ahead, or to think it through a bit more. I remember walking down the aisle of the church in my first marriage knowing I was doing the wrong thing! I knew it beforehand -- but I didn't listen to my inner guidance. By the time I
was halfway down the aisle, I didn't have the courage to stop! I tried to ignore that knowing, but it didn't take long for the external manifestation to appear! A year later we separated. Many people have told me since then that they have had similar experiences. Learn to listen to, and trust your "knowings!" They give you a sense of equanimity or peace, and you can live your life more gently and be guided by wisdom far greater than yours -- but still accessible to you at any time!
Peace Busters 1. Hanging on Too Tightly to What You Want. When we close our hearts and minds to possibilities and we cling tightly onto what WE think we desire, want or will be good for us, we use the wrong measuring sticks! There is a story commonly told of monkeys in a forest in South America, I believe, who are caught by putting nuts into glass bottles. The monkeys reach into the glass bottle and grab the nuts only to find their little paws are now too big to come out of the bottle. They will be caught rather than let go of the nut! LET GO of stuff that you are too attached to -- the only thing that really matters is connecting to your higher self and serving others. The rest is detail! 2. Indifference. Letting go too much is a sign of not taking responsibility for yourself or engaging in your life.
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Volume 2, Issue 2
Your life is YOURS! No one else can take responsibility for it or change it, really. Frustratingly, it's all up to you! Scary but true and much as I have tried to blame my husband and others and my circumstances for my misery at times, it has never worked or brought me peace. When I step up, open my mind and take the walls away from my heart, have the courage to accept that MY issues are more about ME than anyone else, things change. Quickly! 3. Rushing It took me forever (it seems!) to realize that rushing and the sense of anxiety that comes from it, always disturbed my heart rhythms and sense of peace. Being organized allowed me to proceed smoothly and peacefully through busy days. And even if I wasn't organized, I learned to recognize when I was rushing and stopped myself -- and asked myself, "What will feeling rushed do for my situation right now?" If I was driving the car the answer usually was cause an accident or
raise my blood pressure -- the answer was rarely positive! If I was racing to leave the house, invariably I would forget something or be rude to someone! Of course, as soon as I stop rushing and feeling tense, I achieve more and time slows down -- or it seems to. That's the paradox -- feeling peaceful seems to allow me to achieve more than when I am rushing! 4. Stress Stress and rushing go hand in hand but stress from anything else is a real peace destroyer! What causes stress? Unless you are in some extreme temperature circumstance or truly dangerous situation, the vast majority of our stress comes from our perception, our self-talk -- the story we tell ourselves! Most events are neutral -- they are just events. The meaning we attach to those events is what creates the physiological reactions in our bodies. If someone pulls an "angry" face at you how do you react?
The truth could be that the person just had a nasty sudden pain that made their face look "angry" to you -- but in reality, it was their pain that had nothing to do with you! Yet how is your state once you have attached anger to that look -- and assume the anger at YOU no doubt! If we could just see the truth of what we are doing, it would often be a source of great laughter! Be careful -- very careful -- of the meaning you assign to things you "see" -- we never see reality or the totality of all factors in a situation -- we perceive and judge. Start telling yourself different stories -- ones that bring peace and at least give you time to confirm your perception -- or not! 5. Extreme Emotions There is a big difference between emotions and feelings! Feeling -true feeling is that sense of knowing-ness your heart gives you. Emotions are the things that are like wild horses rampaging through your precious, peaceful inner garden!
Next edition of CRUNCH will be Feb/March 2014
From your CRUNCH team‌.