5 minute read
Women: A Different Kind of Courage
from ORAH SUMMER 2020
by CHW
WOMEN: THE W IN CHW
A Different Kind of Courage
Rising Domestic Abuse During The COVID-19 Pandemic
How did an Orthodox Jewish mother of three, a Bedouin mother of five, and a new immigrant from the Ukraine with two sons find themselves under one roof? What brought them together in the midst of the COVID-19 lockdown?
The truth is strikingly shocking: they all fought for their lives. And, luckily, they all found safety at WIZO’s Emergency Shelter, the first and only shelter of its kind to open in response to a spike in domestic violence since the Coronavirus pandemic hit Israel. Trapped with their abusers, many women and children felt unsafe and desperate. During lock down in Israel, the number of domestic violence cases rose by over 30%, while calls to emergency help lines soared by over 300%.
Leanne,* a mother of two at the shelter, shares:
“Coronavirus made everything worse. Something changed over Shavuot, when my husband punched me in the face and said, if I opened my mouth, it would be the end of me. The way he said this made me feel more scared than I had ever felt before. The punch didn’t hurt, I was used to the punches. I simply realized that if I waited for my husband to put an ‘end’ to this story, it would be a tragic one. If I wanted to stay alive, I had to end things right away.” Leanne is among 45 women and 66 children who sought refuge and received much needed help once the WIZO Emergency Shelter opened in May. The facility can accommodate 12 women at a time, together with their children; however, the need is substantially greater.
In the midst of a full lock down, Zehavit Grossman, an active WIZO Israel member, and a survivor of domestic violence herself, was called in to assist with the operational management of the Emergency Shelter. “Every single day some families leave the shelter, and the same day, other families arrive. Police officers bring women and children to the shelter in the middle of the night. When they arrive, I want to hug every woman. I know exactly how they feel and how scared they are. I remember when I was still living with my abusive husband, I was dreading the weekends when he was at home and not at work. So imagine what these women were going through during COVID-19 while they were trapped inside with their abusers. The already difficult situation was further aggravated by economic and employment insecurity during the pandemic. Adding financial stress to these situations is like adding fuel to the fire!”
Leanne* and her two children seeking refuge inside the WIZO Emergency Shelter
A child and shelter worker engage in a craft activity
Given the significant increase in domestic violence during the lockdown in Israel, the WIZO Emergency Shelter offers women and children immediate assistance for a twoweek period, on a rotation basis. WIZO’s trained professionals work around the clock in coordination with social service and government agencies to ensure that women receive full support, including much needed financial assistance.
Zehavit relates a true picture of the way the women arrive at the shelter, and shares: “Women arrive here with only a bag with their essentials, including minimal clothing. Some of them don’t even have shoes. Some appear weak and hungry; some are malnourished, like they haven’t eaten properly for years. Abuse can be physical, emotional and/or financial. It’s all about control over a woman. We need to provide these women with proper tools and equip them to deal with what lies ahead.”
The shelter felt an outpouring of love and support from local volunteers, who collected and delivered clothing and shoes, ran a toy drive, and brought furnishings for babies. Volunteers also baked homemade treats, and dropped off personal hygiene items and creams to help women heal from their bruises. Tremendous efforts were made to support not only the mothers, but also the children who are often left confused and traumatized by a sudden move and drastic change of environment. Mina,* a mother of two, relates her experience:
“Since we arrived, my youngest daughter began to draw and express her sadness. My eldest daughter started to write about her life. Yesterday she turned to me and said, ‘But who will believe me?
I’m only 13 and so much has happened to me.’ One of the advantages of being at the shelter is that my girls can connect with others and not feel isolated. They also see that, sadly, what happened to them, happens in some other families as well.”
Zehavit, a domestic abuse survivor herself, now works inside the shelter to help others.
supplies into the WIZO Emergency Shelter
Once women and children arrive at the shelter, WIZO’s team immediately makes contact with all relevant employers, schools and even family members on behalf of the women, without disclosing any details that may put them at risk.
By the end of the two week-stay, a more permanent shelter is secured for each woman, where she can receive long term care and rehabilitation, together with her children.
Zehavit recognizes that the women she meets are just at the start of a very long and difficult journey:
“Women are safe and protected as long as they’re in a shelter. But the day that they leave, they become exposed again. Sometimes their abusive partners track them down and sometimes women return. Unless you’ve been in the situation, it sounds incomprehensible as to why a woman would return to her abuser. But it’s a mindset.
You need to keep telling yourself, like a mantra, that you won’t go back, until you yourself begin to believe it. It took me 7 years to leave. But when I left, it was so clear that I would never return. However, I meet a growing number of women here who insist that they will never return and they mean it. They’re ready to move forward. I tell them we’re here to help. I tell them how brave they are, over and over again, like a mantra.”
It takes tremendous courage: physical, social, moral, emotional and spiritual, to not only overcome domestic abuse, but also to break free and start all over again. These women and children have just started discovering how courageous they are!
Zehavit bringing some much-needed
*Names changed for privacy
