The Alchemist Weekly by Cindy Dauer

Not since The Smiths has a tape made me so depressed.

WWW.THEALCHEMISTWEEKLY.COM • VOLUME 4 NUMBER 165:34 • MARCH 1, 2011

Red tape deafens small business p. 6 | by CINDY DAUER

ALSO: Bump events calendar featuring ALCHY PICKS | p. 8

VOICE

SYMPOSIUM Bird brains and popcorn balls

Albany ● Corvallis ● Lebanon ● Philomath VOLUME 4 NUMBER 165:34 ● MARCH 1, 2011

VOICE Opinions and Editorials, be they ours or yours, this is where they be.

3 | Dirtstir 4 | Letters

VERDICT

We’ll be the judge. You be the jury... you trust us right?

4 | Bookworm: For Whom the Bell Tolls

WORD

Journalists call them features; we say it’s the word.

6 | Red tape 12 | 37 Cents

BUMP It’s the calendar of all things Albany, Corvallis, Lebanon, and Philomath.

8 | Alchy Picks 11 | Crossword

LITERATI

Amateur prose, poetry and fiction still has a home.

13 | Local poets on display

Editorial

Editors Courtney Clenney, Stanley Tollett Staff Writers Courtney Clenney, Noah Stroup, Stanley Tollett Bump Editor Noah Stroup Contributors Ella Marie Canus, Nikki Dalo, Dirtstir, Cindy Dauer, Shane van Hayden, Jimbo Ivy, Joel Rea, Michael Thomas, Marnie Ernst Zoa

Art

Art Director Freddy Ruiz Layout Editor Courtney Clenney Cover photo by: Amanda Long

Advertising

Account Executive Noah Stroup

Business

Publisher Noah Stroup The Alchemist Weekly is published by: CorvAlcheMedia LLC PO Box 1591 Corvallis, OR 97339 Alchemist Mission

As a publication, our goal is to facilitate greater understanding and appreciation for the diverse social and cultural groups found in the area. In doing so, we hope to create a greater sense of community between Oregon State University and Corvallis, between Albany and Corvallis, and between Philomath, Lebanon and Corvallis-Albany. The Alchemist recognizes the various interests of these groups and is dedicated to being as fluid as the community it serves. The Alchemist is available to you for free. Please limit yourself to one copy. If your picture is in it, you are welcome to take enough copies for your family. Subject to availability, back issues can be purchased by mail for $5. Send your request with specific issue date to PO Box 1591, Corvallis, OR 97339 and include a check or money order payable to The Alchemist.

Sometimes I like to imagine that I am the only “real” human being on the planet. All of you are just illusions that my mind has created to play with, battle, and love. I can hide inside this thought paradigm sometimes and it feels good, safe, and comfortable. Other times, it feels lonely. And then, I have to stop imagining and take out the trash, wash the dishes, or respond to my emails. That’s sort of boring, but it’s back in the real world where I have the chance to restock my brain with fresh beauty. But, there is a trade off. In the real world, chance and luck come into play. I stand as much chance of finding bliss as I do terrible sorrow. Because here, in the real world, I am at the mercy of your free will and connections seem tenuous and risky. I don’t like that very much, but one can only stay in their imagination so long, no matter how expansive, before they start reaching the limits of the experiential. You can only feast on daydreams and memories for so long before you lose your taste for them. Life is a lot like that. You can get so comfortable in the imaginary mode of existence that you truly believe it meets all your needs. One in which you’ve got it all figured out. And then, all of the sudden, a beautiful bird lights itself on your windowsill and you realize that you’re missing something. There is a whole world you weren’t even aware of before you saw the bird, and the bird saw you. Then you’re sad. And the only thing you can do then is put on your coat and gloves, grab a heel of bread, and go out to try and make friends with the thing. I struggle with this sometimes, and I imagine that some of you do as well. The artistic life is filled with all sorts of ups, downs, sideways, and backward-ways. But you gotta get out and smell the sunshine, if you know what I mean. I had an experience like that recently. The bird shook me from the safety of my dream. I had to go outside in leather

shoes that reminded me of my dream so I wouldn’t stray to far. And, I had a good look around for that bird. Realizing with every step that I had been asleep far too long. Raindrops tapped my shoulders and I could feel the cool paths they left from their homes in the clouds like strings that attached me to the heavens. Surrealism is how I see the world. It is my reality. I can speak in your language, but my native tongue is almost always silent because it comes off as incongruent in common conversation. I leave a little bit of myself whenever I take something from the outside world and bring it home to put in my mind vase with water near the window of my soul. The point of this roundabout journey into my mind and back again is, in it’s purest a form, advice for you, and a reminder for me. When you live like I do, going out into the wild world and gathering excite, and intrigue, and beauty, and pain, and then bring it back to your bedroom and lay it all out carefully and gobble it up like a mental Halloween candy binge, you have balance it out somehow. When I was a little boy, Mrs. Stahl, who was my piano teacher would hand out plain popcorn balls for Halloween. We always thought that was a bit of downer because things were supposed to be sweet and these weren’t. But every year, there she was smiling with her endless bowl of neatly wrapped plain popcorn balls. She must have spent hours making those things, and with purpose too. She passed away years ago, but I will always remember those popcorn balls, and you will now, for a little while. We all need the plain popcorn ball equivalent of life. It seems like there aren’t many people that appreciate plain popcorn balls—work, washing dishes, and taking out the trash. They wake us up from the sweet dreams and provide a divide. Also, birds like plain popcorn balls. -Stanley Tollett stanley@thealchemistweekly.com

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Last week's puzzle solutions

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Thank you for naming us your Favorite Musical Instrument Store! Sales • Service • Rentals

137 SW Third Street, Corvallis • (541) 754-6098

VOICE

DIRTSTIR Corrections

In the food cart portion of last week’s Dirtstir, I mistakenly quoted $93 as a monthly rate for Temporary Restaurants. Based on the Health Departments fee sheet, Temporary Restaurants pay $138/1-day event, $165/2 or more-day event, and $627/year under the “farmer’s market provision.” Benevolent Temporary Restaurants have a $93/year maximum. Benton County Environmental Health states $93 as a Temporary Restaurant Annual Maximum (noting a “Farmer’s Market Provision”) in a table on their “Licensing Facilities Page,” maybe forgetting to add “benevolent.” I don’t know how I got “monthly” in there.

Look Around

If you are interested in the local food cart debate, I invite you to look in to what other like-sized communities have done, and what the impacts (benefits and detriments) have been. Please read as much of the information you can stomach (sorry), researching as many sides of the argument as possible. This will allow you a more objective and well balanced view of the issue. Applying this practice to all yer thinkin’s is like a food pyramid for your brain, allowing you to objectively work through any concept. Start with Oregon Administrative Rules (OAR)333-162-0020 - 333-162-1005. For the State’s definitions on different types of outdoor eateries, go to www.oregon.gov/ ODA/FSD/docs/pdf/pub_outdoor_food_ sales.pdf. Read Benton County’s regulations on mobile food carts. Then read regulations for several other Oregon Counties. Think you’ve got the stamina? Find the regulations for cities like Spokane, Wash., Yuma, Ariz., and Lawrence, Kan. Nymag.com will give you insights on the Big Apple. Foodcartsportland.com is a site promoting (obviously) food carts in Portland. Then go to oregonlive.com and look up everything they have about food carts. Medford, Oregon’s mailtribune.com (“Medford’s curb side cuisine”) provides a glimpse of prices, hours of operation, and mobility and distribution to the south. Pick any other city in the nation and see what you find regarding food carts. Look around. If mobile food carts need to move every 45 days, here is a list of lots cart operators may consider: SE corner 3rd & Monroe (preferred by cart proponents), NE corner 3rd & Washington, NE corner 5th & Western, NE corner 5th & Jefferson, both properties owned by the Benton County Historical Society on 1st & 2nd between Washington & Adams, SW corner 3rd & Harrison, SE corner 4th & Harrison...Hey! That’s eight lots right downtown, days to fill a year. Here’s another solution. The Corvallis Food Cart Alliance might be able to use their preferred lot year-round if they were to lease the adjacent business space. This would also give them access to water, electricity, and a rest room.

Three’s a Charm

Khalid Ali-M Aldawsari appears to have been collecting a variety of chemicals in hopes of building a bomb of some kind. Federal authorities were contacted after a warehouse refused to receive chemicals he had ordered, and he was charged with attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction. I’m curious with how that law is written, as he didn’t have a weapon, only parts. No, I’m not condoning his alleged actions. How many parts do I need before it’s considered a functioning automobile? The other two recent stateside bombers, Mohamed Mohamud (Portland) and Anto-

CORVALLIS VANITIES

nio Martinez (Baltimore), have lived in the U.S. much longer than Aldawsari. From Saudi Arabia, Aldawsari arrived here in 2008, spent a year in the English as a Second Language program, then entered Texas Tech (Lubbock) as a Chemical Engineering student. The first two, currently on ice, had lots of help from the FBI to get in trouble. The FBI learned about the last guy from attentive warehousemen who recognized the chemicals as ones an average citizen would only possess for dubious uses. So, how “hot” is Aldawsari? Is the chemistry glassware reportedly found in his apartment the regular equipment needed for a Chem E student to do his homework? By the way, this cat’s education was sponsored by Saudi Arabia. Nice friends we got.

Solidarity

I am amazed at the nationwide response to Wisconsin Governor Walker’s plan to destabilize State employee unions (excepting police and fire departments). Requiring employees to pay a larger share of insurance and pension costs, limiting bargaining to cover wages only, and mandating voter approval for anything beyond the inflation rate really got things stirred up. Sympathetic demonstrations have taken place in several states besides Wisconsin, with supporting numbers from the private sector in attendance. Imagine how the private sector will behave towards unions, seeing how the people responsible for protecting workplace rights are now attempting to trample those rights. Distinguishing between public and private sector unions in the argument misses the point. This results in things like, say, Hewlett-Packard using a temp agency that maintains a field of “independent contractors” for HP, then lowers wages when “renewing” a contract. Although Tea Party members have held rallies supporting Walker, you can bet a few lost their bonnets, at least long enough to support organized labor and attend a protest. The destruction of labor’s ability to organize and collectively bargain will also undermine non-protected workers. In our supply and demand economy, those with the jobs set wages based on the number of people wanting work. The minimum wage floor will disappear as individuals are unknowingly pitted against each other for who will do the most unpleasant job with the most inconveniences and the most hazards for the least amount of money. “Sinclair? White courtesy phone for Sinclair.” The Jungle is calling. The union busting legislation has already passed Wisconsin’s Republican controlled Assembly, and it is only by the interstate flight of 14 Democratic senators (to prevent enough members present for a vote in the Republican controlled Senate) that the legislation has not become law. Democrats have put forward offers of negotiation, to no avail. I mean, think about that. The democrats are expressing willingness to give up existing conditions, and Walker intends to simply outlast them. The projected savings of $300 million represents 8.3% of a $3.6 billion deficit, but it will be the long term effects on labor relations that have the greatest impact. Please note the age old trick Walker uses of promising more to those that will protect his interests (police and fire unions) while at the same time creating a distraction from his actions by pitting union against union, worker against worker. Watching for developments...

The thoughts, views, and opinions expressed in Voice are of their authors and do not necessarily represent the thoughts, views or opinions of CorvAlcheMedia, LLC. Letters to the editor may be edited for grammar, clarity, or space restrictions.

-tCj dirtstirreply@gmail.com WWW.THEALCHEMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

TO THE EDITOR

LETTERS STANDING CORRECTED

Editor, ALCHEMIST – Thanks for the food cart discussion. BUT: your list of Corvallis restaurants that have closed missed two important ones: Strega, and ZIA – OK, an oversight, if a sloppy one. When, however, you list a restaurant as having closed when it is still in operation, you may well be helping it fail – people will think it’s closed. That restaurant is IOVINO’S now on S. 3rd, serving lunch and dinner in a delicious home-style Italian menu If you haven’t already, please print a correction to this error and please be more careful in your reports–local restaurants are having enough trouble without journalistic sabotage. (Not connected with Iovino’s or any restaurant) -Indecipherable initials

Our Reply: Thank you for getting in touch! It should be noted first off that you are replying to a piece that was not a report written by The Alchemist Weekly but a Letter to the Editor from a local restaurant owner. As much fun as journalistic sabotage might be, we are not engaging in it. It is true that Iovino’s is open on S. 3rd. Yes, Strega and ZIA have both closed. It’s interesting that you bring ZIA up because they started as a very popular food vendor at the Farmer’s Market and jumped head first into operating a restaurant. I have to wonder whether they would’ve gone to a food cart operation before opening the restaurant, had that option been available to them. If the 45 day limit is lifted, maybe you’ll be able to get their fresh made tortillas daily. -Noah Stroup, Publisher

LETTERS from our Readers are always welcome and we will print as many as we can fit. Please send your letters to editor@thealchemistweekly.com. It is helpful for you to include your name and contact information as well. Letters may be edited for grammar, clarity, or space restrictions.

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VERDICT

Bookworm: For Whom the Bell Tolls (1940) by Ernest Hemingway by MICHAEL THOMAS

ome writers tower over their creations. They lead large, precarious existences—often short—and in their deaths they pass on to us a mythos, a legend, whose plots and characters pale when compared to their architects. Hemingway was a paramedic for the Italian army in World War I, an American expatriate who traveled the world, a journalist who saw action (sometimes participating himself ) in the Spanish Civil War and World War II. He hunted, he sailed, and he is generally remembered for his alcoholism, machismo, and his minimalistic prose. Most readers tend to favor his breakout novel, The Sun Also Rises (1926), but I prefer For Whom the Bell Tolls (1940). Written just after the conflict’s close, the book examines the Spanish Civil War through the eyes of an American Communist, Robert Jordan, who has joined the fight on the side of the Republican guerillas against the Fascists. When Jordan meets the guerillas, they are a mere handful of fighters hiding in the wooded mountains above a bridge that Jordan has been ordered to blow up. There are small skirmishes leading up to the planned detonation, but the tension and beating heart of Hemingway’s tale is the war within. Hemingway makes good use of the silence to examine the character’s thoughts on war. Indeed, the nature of conflict—the paradoxes of struggle; the futility and inevitability of carnage all weigh heavily on their thoughts. In contemporary cinema, only Malick’s The Thin Red Line (1998) comes close to juxtaposing the philosophy of combat, random snippets of thought, observation, and memory with the brutality of the battlefield in a manner befitting Hemingway’s book. Not only does Jordan have to contend with the Fascists, his love for Maria—the youngest of the rebels—and his own flawed acuity, he has to deal with fractionalization when Pablo—the leader of the guerilla band—

grows disillusioned. Unfortunately, in many of Hemingway’s books the female characters are one dimensional. This is another reason why For Whom the Bell Tolls stands out for me. With Pilar, Pablo’s wife, Hemingway shows us a female character of deep contrastive personality. She is a warrior who is loving and fierce, solemn and hopeful. Set against Jordan, she is the hard reality opposing his idealistic fancies. The story is also remarkable for its deeply harrowing moments and small sentiments. Pilar’s narrative detailing an incident where the rebels captured a small town is shockingly sad and ironic, and in the relationship between Maria and Jordan, Hemingway captures an emotion lacking in his other masculine characters: genuine sensitivity. Near the end of the novel when he says to her, “Maria, we won’t be going to Madrid,” it feels like the most heartrending line you’ve ever heard. Also from Hemingway, read these: The Sun Also Rises (1926), A Farewell to Arms (1929), and The Old Man and the Sea (1962).

VERDICT

Crop rotations Creighton Lindsay: Round By Round by ELLA MARIE CANUS

ound By Round, an album released on Workbench Records brings us into the garage of Creighton Lindsay, as the name suggests. One of the most interesting aspects of the CD is the number of other musicians brought in on each song. While Lindsay is the mainstay on vocals and guitar. The harmonica, drums, bass, organ and percussion are all filled out with a rotating group of artists. This is suggestive of someone who not only has a lot of connections, and isn’t afraid to use them, but more over, someone who is glad to have an album on which to share musical space with those around him. Upon listening, you can almost see him sitting next to his instrument, garage door open as neighbors and friends walk by some stopping in to say hello, while others may pick up a tool and spend time finishing the project they’ve been making. They work and talk, the atmosphere is easy and relaxed, like an after work get together – without drinking too much, or loud music, or bars. Well, maybe drinking. Hmm how interesting that must be... On the opening tracks, we’re brought into an outdoor venue. It’s warm, and at the end of summer after the harvest is almost all the way in. Most of us are dancing and laughing at the better souls we’ll be buying drinks for later, and are currently pulling in the last of the year’s crop. They should be done by nightfall. The tenor vibrato of the organ is a nice offset to the clean and harmonized vocals, bringing in swaths of Detroit era soul and R&B. It’s a nice blend with a country twang that the lead guitar parades through. The percussion keeps the album moving along, a further addendum to the steady rock beats we find punctuating the drum set. The second track brings us into a swing upbeat while the lyrics bring echoes of the once prominent Corvallis band. Whatever happened to Bon Ton Roulet, I wonder? The lyrics are comfortable, and it feels that after listening to it a couple of times it would be something you could sing along with while swinging under the arms of your partner. Though well noted for playing in the vein of spirited folk and acoustics. This music

sounds louder than most folk singers play a part — a leading slow emotion to the vocals of Lord Have I Tried, and message echoes through the album and next into the song, Everybody Prays Sometimes. The album is long suggesting that there is not only a multitude of genres and layers that Lindsay has brought along, but also a great amount of material to explore. A great variety of timing and instruments, of styles and tempos, and beats. Refreshingly done without the music being overwhelming in scope of variety or amount of material. Like a good tour guide who has to take you through 2000 years of Greek history in five days, we’re brought through an amazing variety of different areas he’s been in his life, easily and enjoyably. So pick up the album and be satiated. It’s a nice way to end the week, fill the aural spaces of a party, or have some music and fun that doesn’t even come at the expense of your workweek productivity. By the end of the album we are spilling out of Mr. Creigton’s garage and onto the street like the build up of guests through the procession of the workweek. All the friends, musicians and players have accumulated to an introduction to the weekend. A Friday night of socializing, company, and homegrown homebrew. So, if you’ve got some time for some ambiance, and some people over, and are looking for something that might not only stir conversation but also lighten the mood of the gathering while exposing you to different kinds of music, I suggest you pick Round By Round and check out Lindsay’s web site for more info. WWW.THEALCHEMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

WORD

Red tape deafens small business

A proposal to create an association to meet and discuss creating an association to lobby the alliance to submit a letter to the subcommittee for consideration by the commission on a possible amendment to a proposal to the City Council. Photo by Cindy Dauer

by CINDY DAUER

arly on a Saturday morning, Jason Wallis is at work. The owner of Fitness Over 50 in Corvallis, Wallis is helping an elderly lady use a weight machine from her wheelchair this morning. Nearby, other members of the club are riding stationary bikes, pedaling electric ellipticals, and one is checking his blood pressure. Wallis gently helps the woman grasp the handles of the machine and complete a lateral exercise. All the while, energizing jazz music fills the room, making you want to tap your toe. Wallis - an alumnus of the Oregon State University exercise and sport science program - started Fitness Over 50 in 1998. The exercise facility and wellness center is specifically designed to help adults who’ve reached middle age and beyond to stay healthy. Since opening his own business, Wallis has seen his customer base increase and the number of people he employs jump from just one to more than 15. He recently decided it was time to expand. Wallis began looking for a site where he could build a larger facility. He found a commercial property for sale on Philomath Boulevard, at the intersection of Country Club Drive, and was able to make the purchase. He planned to custom-build the site for Willamette Wellness, a commercial center which would house Fitness Over 50 and two other businesses. This would take Wallis from the realm of business owner to property owner and commercial developer. That’s when his labor of love turned into more of a heart burn. “It became evident that this was going to be a little bit more challenging than a typical project,” Wallis said. The site is on the line between the city and county. It also abuts the state highway. So, in order to develop the land, Wallis needed to coordinate with all three agencies - the City of Corvallis, Benton County, and the Oregon Department of Transportation. The City of Corvallis was the lead agency. Members of Wallis’s development team, which included an experienced Corvallisbased commercial contractor and local design professionals, predicted it would take about two months to get the necessary construction permits to build Willamette Wellness. They also predicted that the fees associated with the project could run as high as $40,000. Unfortunately, they weren’t even close. It took more like nine months to get the approval to break ground. The City of Corval6

lis alone requested 36 revisions to the plans and sent nine different letters of communication during the review process. When compared with two other recent commercial projects of similar value (around $1 million), Willamette Wellness had more than twice the number of revisions and three times the number of letters. Then there were the fees. On top of the land purchase price and cost of construction, Wallis ended up paying more than $116,000 to the city in fees. Of that, $90,000 went to system development charges. Those charges, calculated by potential usage, are collected to make capital improvements to the area. The money goes for maintaining roads as

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well as upgrading sewer and water lines. Wallis paid another $22,000 in permit and inspection fees, and $4,000 for the school district excise tax. In all, he paid more than 10 percent of his construction cost in fees to the city. For Wallis, his dream of owning a business and commercial property turned out to be more nightmarish. Considering the time, energy, and expense it took to get Willamette Wellness built, Wallis believes there must be a better way. “It’s not working on a lot of different levels,” Wallis said, referring to the land use development process in Corvallis. He elaborated, “It was lots of little things that

you expect, but definitely a handful of major issues that became huge hurdles which I think exposed how the system could be improved.” As a resident of Corvallis, he understands the need to regulate development – people want to keep intact the character of the city and maintain a livable environment. But Wallis wonders about the long-term effects. He’s inclined to say the city’s current development process could prove to be a detriment. “I want to be proud to do business in Corvallis, but I have to say it was a struggle for me,” Wallis said. “I think the community as a whole would benefit from Corval-

WORD lis being seen as, and actually operating as, more business friendly.” He is not alone in pointing to the land use development process in Corvallis as being prohibitive, costly, and discouraging to small business. “Welcome home to Corvallis – land of bureaucracy gone mad,” Andrew Martin, owner of Bald Hill Farms, wrote in a letter to the city dated June 2010. “You have repeatedly shown me that, except for big companies and retail chains that can afford your harassment, it is impossible for me or other small businesses to farm or do business in Corvallis… I shall not be building any food processing or other businesses here – and good luck to anyone that tries.” Martin’s high profile conflict with the city began in 2009 when the city, responding to a complaint, investigated two businesses Martin was operating at his property on Reservoir Road. One was a farm store, the other sold landscaping material. The city found that those were not permitted uses, which meant Martin was out of compliance. Potentially, he could be asked to shut down. But, the city allowed Martin to continue operation as long as he was going through the land use review process and working toward compliance. Martin also had plans to farm on the property – which is zoned industrial and has an additional development overlay that requires public review of proposed developments. The code would need to be changed to allow for the agricultural sales and the farming too. Martin, clearly fed up with the process, withdrew his proposed code amendment that would allow the farming use in June 2010. The city council, however, still voted in November to allow the limited sale of farm products at the site. The story of a third small business owner and her clash with the code has also recently been highly publicized. Michele Walker of Creperie Du Lys and the Corvallis Food Cart Alliance – wants to operate a food cart on private property in the city. In Corvallis, food carts are defined as outdoor markets. That means under the land use development code, operation of a food cart is limited to 45 days per calendar year in one location. Walker would like to be able to operate her food cart year round. Her inquiry about changing the code last summer prompted the city to initiate a review. Arguments for and against allowing the expanded operation of food carts are being heard and weighed by the city’s Downtown Commission now. Several months and many public hearings later, the city council will eventually vote on

the food cart issue. Meanwhile, Walker’s food cart is parked in the driveway of her Corvallis home. These types of cases have some people in Corvallis questioning whether the community is truly committed to economic development and creating an environment where local, independent businesses can grow and thrive.

Oregon University graduate and Iraq War veteran. Officer identified two potential locations in Corvallis to locate his business – one downtown and the other near the Municipal Airport. But at both sites, he saw financial speed bumps when it came to ensuring his business was in line with city and state code. He was left with a tough a choice: shell out a lot of money and take a risk, or play it safe and look elsewhere for another potential site. “I realized that I could sink thousands of dollars into something that was not guaranteed,” he said. Not wanting to put his young family in debt, Officer began searching elsewhere. Now, he is working with the City of Adair Village and Benton County with the hopes of running his operation in a former military building at Camp Adair. Officer said this actually suits his business well, as it’s named 4 Spirits Distillery and dedicated to the memory of the four soldiers in his unit that died while they were on duty in Iraq. Officer hopes to have his business up and running this spring. While small business owners continue to struggle with creating a livelihood in Corvallis, the question of how to foster economic development is getting kicked around again and again. Now more than ever, with both the recession and the economic black hole left by Hewlett Packard, there is a sense of urgency in the discussions of our local economy. The city needs to cut $3 million in services and the downtown is becoming littered with vacant storefronts. In the last five years, several local organizations have tackled the topic of economic development. Those include (but aren’t limited to) the Economic Vitality Partnership and its subcommittee Prosperity That Fits, the three business organizations in Corvallis including the Corvallis-Benton Chamber Coalition, the Downtown Corvallis Association, and the Corvallis Independent Business Alliance - and the city’s Economic Development Commission formed earlier this year. For these groups that grapple with how to stimulate the organ of economic growth, the city’s land use development process has definitely been a blip on the radar. A blue ribbon panel, formed by Prosperity That Fits, had the goal of reviewing the city’s land use development process and discussing potential improvements. Panel members, along with representatives from the Development Services Citizens Advisory Group, presented recommendations to the city council last August regarding how to improve the process.

You need to create the conditions that allow entrepreneurs to create the jobs... said Kate Lindberg, president of the Corvallis Independent Business Alliance

“You need to create the conditions that allow entrepreneurs to create the jobs,” said Kate Lindburg, president of the Corvallis Independent Business Alliance. “Streamline the permitting process; take a look at the land use code. It could very well be unintended consequences. We’ve decided we want a particular look to the city, never realizing that was going to make certain projects very difficult to complete.” Lindburg and others believe that the complexities of the development process could discourage new, innovative, local startups and businesses. “The next HP is going to start here, if we create the environment,” Lindburg said. Corvallis could have potentially lost the next big thing last year when entrepreneur Dawson Officer started looking elsewhere for a site to open and operate a vodka distillery and tasting room. “I realized it was going to be difficult to get into Corvallis,” said Officer, a Western

Based on those recommendations, in December, the city council adopted a Service Enhancement Package that will change the way development applications are processed. The changes will be phased in over the next three years, according to Ken Gibb, Corvallis Community Development Director. One change will be the designation of a project manager and project coordinators. A coordinator will be assigned to applications that are not approved “over the counter.” Already, the city approves 30 percent of its land use applications after initial review. The goal is to increase that figure to 60 percent, according to Gibb. The project coordinators will stay with one project from start to finish, and report back to the project manager. This reorganization will create a new position in the department and increase the number of fulltime equivalent employees by 0.5. “It will be a more proactive approach,” Gibb said. The city will also go completely electronic with its files. The plan is to purchase new software and eliminate the paper chase. For these new services, there will be a fee. While the city is working to change the land use development process, concerns about the actual code are not so easily addressed. Nearly every site in Corvallis is subject to different regulations, and changing the code requires a lengthy review process. For small businesses that can’t be neatly packaged into a box, Corvallis could continue to prove a misfit. Though small business owners struggle to survive, big business is not without opposition. The Corvallis League of Women Voters is appealing the city’s recent approval of plans to move forward with a development on 53rd Street and Philomath Boulevard. The proposed development will include a Walgreen’s Pharmacy with drive-through window, a restaurant, and other storefronts. In an online statement, the LWV stated it does not oppose the entire proposal, only the part that encroaches on the “rare forested wetland north of Dunawi Creek.” During approval of this project, the city council allowed for wetlands mitigation, which essentially means that wetlands will be created elsewhere in exchange for those that are developed. The local LWV is trying to raise $10,000 to take the case to the state land use board of appeals. As with this instance, Corvallis residents are willing to stand up to big business, but it seems they aren’t willing to stand up for small, local, independent business. Long term effects from a less than favorable small business economy can result in fewer taxes being collected and no jobs being created. As a community focused on livability, Corvallis may need to re-evaluate its definition of the term.

Does this sound familiar? If you are a local business owner that wants to share your story contact us: editor@thealchemistweekly.com

WWW.THEALCHEMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

ALCHY PICKS FEATURED EVENT:

Trees huggers out there get a bad name. But have you ever actually hugged a tree? I have. And let me tell you, that thing hugged me back. I’m sure of it. When I was a small child. I remember the exhilaration of finally climbing a tree all by myself and once I made it up over the first low hanging branch, I couldn’t stop climbing. Gravity seemed to disappear and like a small spider monkey I lost all care for the ground and climbed higher and higher until I reached the top of the tree and poked my little head out of foliage and branches and felt on top of the world. I had never been so proud or felt so free. I called out to my mother, who was inside washing dishes to come and see what I had achieved. “Mom!...Moooom!!! Come look!” I yelled. My mother emerged with a dish rage slung over her shoulder and when she saw her small son perched up in our backyard tree 30 feet off the ground, she paused in mid step and very calmly and slowly said. “Hi...look what you did...you little tree climber you. Now Stanley...I want you to please, very carefully climb down very slowly and come inside because dinner is ready.” Climb...down? I thought. That was the first time I had ever thought of the fact that I would have to come down from the tree. I realized, at that moment, that I hadn’t thought to plan ahead on how I would actually get down from up there. It took my 5 times as long to get down as it had to get up into that tree. And by that time I am sure my mother had thought briefly of calling the fire department a la kitten in tree crisis. When I finally jumped down with a thud she rushed over and hugged me and with a mixture of extreme relief and modest pride she scooped me up and we went in and ate dinner. I never forgot that moment of youthful exhilaration and oneness with nature and myself, and never will. So that’s my tree story. Wow...tree stories kick ass!!! If you want to hear more incredible stories like this one and perhaps have one of your own to share about grandfather trees in our world and what they mean to you. Your time has come. The Tcha Tee Man Wi storytelling festival, March 3-6, 2011, is your literary perch. So put on some old jeans and grab hold, and share the glory of one of life’s most precious resources, trees...and our relationships with them.

Tcha Tee Man Wi Storytelling Festival

I ACTUALLY MET THAT GUY, KINDA...

SALSA DANZIG

Friday, March 4th Wouldn’t it be cool if you could meet a famous person? I mean really, how cool would that be? You’ve seen them, or you’ve seen or read their work and you were blown away... inspired, and now, holy smokes that’s them, right there in front of you. You imagined they would be taller. Well, on Friday, March 4th, from 2-3 pm you will have the opportunity to be in the same room as Mike Rich. Yes. Mike Rich. Haven’t heard of Mike Rich. Well...allow me to educate you my little brothers and sisters. Mike Rich is a famous screenwriter to those in the know. (Disclaimer: I too had never heard of him.) His screenwriting credits include such films as “Finding Forrester,” “The Rookie,” “Radio,” and “Secretariat.” How’s that for some big time, badass film-name droppin’?? So the nitty-gritty is this super cool cat will be giving a lecture in the Trysting Tree Conference Room, Weatherford Hall at OSU presented by the Austin Entrepreneurship Program. Admission is free. The ensuing subdued boasting about having attended a lecture by a prolific and high profile Hollywood screenwriter amongst friends after the lecture....priceless. 8

• MARCH 1, 2011 • WWW.TH E A LC H E M I S T WE E KLY.CO M

Thursday, March 3rd ALBANY PUBLIC LIBRARY Antonio Rocha, 7:00 pm, FREE Friday, March 4th CORVALLIS-BENTON COUNTY LIBRARY Children’s Matinee Performance, Theran, Antonio Rocha, 2:30 pm, FREE UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Performance: Martha Foster, Alton Takiyama-Chung, Antonio Rocha, 7:00 pm, FREE Saturday, March 5th UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Workshop: Alton Takiyama-Chung “Healing Vessels,” 9:30 am, $15 Workshop: Antonio Rocha “Beyond Voice,” 1:00 pm, $25 Performance: Louise Johnson, Alton TakiyamaChung, Antonio Rocha, 7:00 pm, FREE Sunday, March 6th UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Alton Takiyama-Chung “Stories to Inspire,” 9:30 am, FREE Antonio Rocha “Stories to Inspire,” 11:00 am, FREE Open Mic Family appropriate stories, 5 minute limit, 12:30 pm, FREE

contributed photo

A HAPPY LITTLE TREE

by STANLEY TOLLETT

Tuesday, March 1st When I was in college, for some reason salsa dancing was all the rage. I still can’t figure out the causality of it, but it was there and we all had to make our peace with it.. My way was to ridicule it as a passing fad not unlike the The Macarena. I also pointed out that two locations where the “Salsa Nights” were taking place were two newly opened Latin themed daiquiri bars, and so on and so forth. Friends would come back from “Salsa Night” with armpit stains the size of the Great Salt Lake and drunken smiles and laughter about how good Brandon was at Salsa and how they never, ever saw that one coming. That was almost 7 years ago. Obviously, salsa dancing was not a fad. It was an attempt by daiquiri bar owners to draw in patrons with themed nights designed around constant movement to sell more hydration in the form of Dirty Bananas and Pina Coladas. I sway corrected. So now I feel somewhere between a Johnny Come-Lately and

DON’T WALK OUT ON ME

a Debbie Downer. I feel like I owe Salsa Dancing something. I feel like I need to honor it by citing its lengthy heritage and worldwide popularity. And while it may not have been around as long as the Waltz, and it might cause larger armpit stains, it deserves to be in the same pantheon of all the other ways people move strictly and in “the appropriate way” when music is played. So in penance of my sins against it, I feel compelled to attend and simultaneously inform you of a great opportunity to learn Salsa dancing from the floor up. Impulse Bar & Grill in Corvallis will be holding a Cuban Salsa Class (Beginner) at 6:00 pm on Tuesday, March 1st.

Monday, March 7th A great thing about an open mic night is that it basically provides you with a readymade, captive audience, obligated to sit through whatever performance specialty you have. Another, somewhat less great, aspect about open mic nights are that because they have to sit through your performance, you are likely to get a pretty genuine response as to how well you do whatever it is that you do. But, because politeness and social mores can keep people from outright telling you exactly what they think, you will most likely get some applause and congratulatory response even if you completely bomb. So the trick is: stay throughout the entire show and gauge your applause by length and fervor against the other performers. Then, and only then, will you realize how good or how bad you are. For those of you brave enough to take to the stage, Fireworks Restaurant and Bar holds its next “Southtown Open Mic Talent Search” on Monday, March 7th at 9;00 pm. Having been, I can attest to the very supportive crowd and exceptional food/beverage options on location throughout the night. If you are in need of a scope-out-the-scene night before you actually take the stage, if you’re ready to let the world see you shine onstage already, or if when you get there you have one too many beers with dinner and decide to roll out to the car and grab your acoustic because, “what the hell,” then this is the spot for you.

tuesday01

livemusic

Corvallis

OSU LASELLS STEWART CENTER OSU Jazz Ensemble, 7:30 pm, $10 [JAZZ] SUNNYSIDE UP CAFE Celtic Jam, 7:00 pm [CELTIC]

Corvallis

wednesday02

livemusic

Corvallis

SUNNYSIDE UP CAFÉ Cool Conspiracy, 6:00 pm, FREE [JAZZ]

sing&dance

Tangent

DIXIE CREEK SALOON Blues Jam with Wild Bill, 7:00 pm [BLUES]

sing&dance

Albany

ELKS LODGE Beginner Line Dance 7:00 pm, $3 [DANCE] IMPULSE BAR Cuban Salsa 7:30 pm FREE [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]; On the Top: DJ , 9:00 pm FREE [DANCE] UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Fellowship Community Choir rehearsals, 7:00 pm, $50 for 12 week term [SING]

Eagles Lodge Albany Senior Dance, 1:30 - 3:30 pm, $3 [DANCE]

Corvallis

Lebanon

APPLEBEE’S Karaoke/Guitar Hero, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING] PETER GYSEGEM’S STUDIO Argentine tango classes, 7:15 pm, $5 [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]; On the Top: DJ 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Halsey

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING] WOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Corvallis

APPLEBEE'S National Trivia Association Night, 9:00 pm, FREE ENOTECA WINE BAR Girls night out! Knit night, 7:00 pm [SHE'S CRAFTY] GRASS ROOTS BOOKSTORE Reading group “The Imperfectionists: A Novel,” by Tom Rachman, 6:30 pm, FREE [BOOKS] UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP Silkscreen Prints by Earl Newman, On display until 04/18/11 [ART] WINESTYLES Tuesday Night Trivia, 6:00 pm, $10 per team for winter league [SMARTY PANTS]

stuff

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

stuff

Albany

HERITAGE MALL Dr. Seuss “Read Across America,” 5:00 pm, FREE [KIDS]

Corvallis

CLOUD 9 Beer and Blog, 5:00 pm, FREE [LAGER BLOGGER]; Infinite Improv! 9:00 pm, FREE [COMEDY] ENOTECA WINE BAR Brigadoon wine tasting, 7:00 pm, $10 [DRINK] OSU LASELLS STEWART CENTER Idea’s Matter: Sheila Watt-Cloutier, “Everything is Connected,” 7:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE]

Lebanon

LEBANON PUBLIC LIBRARY Storyteller Antonio Rocha, 7:00 pm, FREE [STORY]

Wednesday, 6:00 pm, FREE [JAZZ] contributed photo

COOL CONSPIRACY

Sunnyside Up Cafe

Put on your 3D goggles. ...only works with LSD

WWW.THEALCHEMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

Friday, 10:00 pm, FREE [DJ CHI DULY]

RIOT IN THE CLOUDS

thursday03

Cloud 9

livemusic

Albany

CALAPOOIA Rusty Hinges, 7:30 pm, FREE [STRINGBAND]

Corvallis

BOMBS AWAY CAFE Colin Woekel’s Musical Showcase, 8:30 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] OLD WORLD DELI Corvallis Old-Time Music Jam, 7:00 pm, FREE [OLD-TIMEY] PAPA'S PIZZA Webster Chicago featuring Brian Rhodes, 6:00 pm. FREE [BLUES]

sing&dance

Albany

EAGLES LODGE Line dance, 7:00 pm, $4 [DANCE] RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Productions presents Throwback Thursday with DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis

PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Mike, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

stuff

Albany

ALBANY CIVIC THEATER “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” 8:00 pm, $13 [STAGE]

Corvallis

contributed photo

BOYS & GIRLS CLUB Pacific Region Art Exhibit, 5:00 pm, FREE [ART] CLOUD 9 Poetics: Open Mic, 8:30 pm, FREE [POETRY] CORVALLIS BENTON COUNTY LIBRARY David Cobb, “Creating Democracy & Challenging Corporate Rule,” 7:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] CORVALLIS BREWING SUPPLY Featuring Artist Patricia Smith with Beers from Block 15/Food from Cloud 9, 6:00 pm [AWESOME!] DOWNTOWN CORVALLIS First Thursday Art Walk, 4:00 – 8:00 pm; Pegasus Gallery features Bill Shumway, 4:00 - 7:00 pm; Footwise featuring Jim Carroll, 5:00 - 7:00 pm; Mona Lisa Framing features Yoshiko Yamamoto, 5:00 - 8:00 pm; Image by Design features Fine Jewelry, 5:30 - 7:30 pm ENOTECA WINE BAR Chocolate Truffle Thursdays, 6:00 pm, FREE [YUMMERS] FIRST ALT CO-OP NORTH Beer tasting, 5:00 pm [BEER ME] MAJESTIC THEATER Corvallis Community Theatre “Comedy of Errors,” 2:30 pm & 7:30 pm, $12-$10 [STAGE] OSU MU BALLROOM Recycled Fashion Show: Dumpsters to Diamonds, 7:00 pm, $5 [FASHION] OSU MU JOURNEY ROOM Kurt Dorsey, “Cheaters Sometimes Prosper,” 4:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] WINESTYLES Wine tasting, 5:30 pm [WINE ME]

friday04 Albany

livemusic

FRONT STREET BAR Parish Gap Band, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

Corvallis

BEANERY ON 2nd Lavinia Ross, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] BOMBS AWAY CAFE Patrick Kavaney and the Last Drags, 10:00 pm, FREE [INDIE ROCK] FIREWORKS Volifonix, 8:00 pm [FUNK] OLD WORLD DELI Hilltop Big Band, 7:30 pm, FREE [BIG BAND] OSU MU COMMONS Music a la Carte “Dinner in the Commons with OSU Glee,” 6:00 pm, FREE [CHOIR]

Lebanon

MERLIN’S BAR & GRILL Elixxer, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

Albany

sing&dance

RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents Ladies Night with Dj Tray, FREE [DANCE] IOOF HALL Timber Twirlers flashilight dance, Bring flashlight or glow sticks, 7:30 pm, $4.50 [DANCE]

Corvallis

CLOUD 9 Riot in the Clouds, 10:00 pm, FREE [DJ CHI DULY] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]; On the Top: DJ Alex, 9:00 pm, FREE [DANCE]

Halsey

WOODY'S BAR & GRILL “Terry-oke” karaoke with Terry Geil, 9:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Lebanon

DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING]

Albany

stuff

contributed photo

ALBANY CIVIC THEATER “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” 8:00 pm, $13 [STAGE] LBCC COLLEGE CENTER COMMONS LBCC Winter Banquet: “Take a Culinary Tour of the Iberian Peninsula,” 6:30 pm, $21 [FOOD] OREGON LANGUAGE CENTER Dan Murphy, “Lincoln at 200,” 7:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE]

Corvallis Friday/Saturday, 9:00 pm, [ROCK]

ELIXXER

Merlin’s Bar & Grill 10

• MARCH 1, 2011 • WWW.T H E A LC H E M I S T WE E KLY. CO M

ARTS CENTER Un-Speak-Able Artist Books Exhibit through April 2nd, 12:00 pm, FREE [ART] FIRST ALT COOP SOUTH Wine tasting, 5:00 pm [WINE ME] FIRST ALT COOP SOUTH Corvallis Bicycle Collective: Marcos Esparza, 7:30 pm [BIKE] LINN COUNTY EXPO Northwest Buckskin Club Horse Show [WHY THE LONG FACE?] LINN COUNTY EXPO Albany Rifle and Pistol Club Gun Show [SHOOT] MAJESTIC THEATRE Corvallis Community Theatre presents “The Comedy of Errors,” 7:30 pm, $12 [STAGE] OSU WEATHERFORD HALL Screenwriter Mike Rich “Finding Forrester,” “The Rookie,” “Secretariat,” 2:00 pm, FREE [LECTURE] WINESTYLES First Friday Flights featuring Pinots: Three red or three white, 5:00 pm [WINE ME] ZION LUTHERAN SCHOOL ‘Growing Zion’s Pride’ Dinner & Dessert Auction Fundraiser, 6:00 pm, $10 [BENEFIT]

Remixes

saturday05

livemusic

Albany

CALAPOOIA BREWING Jettison Band, 8:00 pm [ROCK]

Corvallis

BEANERY ON 2nd Siobhan, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC] BOMBS AWAY CAFÉ Mars Retrieval Unit, 10:00 pm, FREE [SPACE FUNK] ENOTECA WINE BAR Joanna Beekman, 7:00 pm [ACOUSTIC] FIREWORKS Graham Patzner & Steve Taylor from SF, 8:00 pm [SONGWRITER] FIRST UNITED METHODIST Heart of the Valley Children’s Choirs, 3:00 pm, $8 [CHOIR]

Lebanon

MERLIN’S BAR & GRILL Elixxer, 9:00 pm, FREE [ROCK]

sing&dance

Albany

RILEY'S BAR & GRILL Cutting Edge Production presents DJ Tray, FREE [DANCE]

Corvallis

CORVALLIS DANCE CENTER Beginning West Coast Swing, 6:00 pm [DANCE] FCC GATTON HALL Corvallis Folklore Society Contra Dance: Unleashed! With Elinor Preston, 7:30 instruction, 8:00 dance, $7 [DANCE] PEACOCK BAR & GRILL On the Top: DJ Big Cheese, 9:00 pm FREE [DANCE]

Lebanon

DUFFY'S IRISH PUB Karaoke, 10:00 pm, FREE [SING]

stuff

Albany

MIDWAY FARMS Daffodil Garden Walk, 12:00 pm, FREE [SMELL]

Corvallis

ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Saturday, 3:00 pm [DRINK] WINESTYLES Wine tasting & Artist Reception: Chuck Victory, 4:00 pm [WINE/ART]

sunday06

livemusic

Albany

CALAPOOIA BREWING Blues Jam, 4:00 pm [BLUES] NOVAK'S HUNGARIAN RESTAURANT Strings of Time, 6:00 pm, FREE [FOLK]

Corvallis

BENTON HALL ROOM 202 Friends of OSU Opera present March Madness: A Descent into Darkness, 2:00 pm/5:00 pm, $10 [OPERA] CHURCH OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN Choral Evensong, 4:00 pm [CHORAL] FIREWORKS Ocean’s Birthday Bash, The Crescendo Show @ 6:00 pm, Gabrial Surley Project @ 8:00 pm, Special viewing of “No One Said It Would Be Easy – the Cloud Cult Movie” [PARTY!]

sing&dance

Corvallis

PEACOCK BAR & GRILL Main Stage: Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR & GRILL Karaoke, 9:00 pm [SING]

stuff

Albany

LBCC RUSSELL TRIPP PERFORMANCE CENTER “Travel at the Tripp – South by West,” 2:00 pm, $8 [FILM]

Corvallis

ENOTECA WINE BAR Saketini Sunday, 3:00 pm [DRINK] FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF CHRIST 3rd Annual Community Soup, 5:00 pm [BENEFIT]

monday07 Corvallis

stuff

FIREWORKS Southtown Talent Search: The Acoustic Showdown, 9:00 pm [PERFORM]

Lebanon

MERLIN'S BAR AND GRILL Karaoke, FREE [SING]

Inkwell Crosswords by Ben Tausig Across 1. Side with a dog? 5. They may butt heads 9. Notoriously annoying actors 14. “Later!” 15. Nobel Laureate Wiesel 16. Battery end 17. Email account providers, at times 18. Ingredient in some tooth whiteners 20. Morales of “Jericho” 21. Bowl over 22. Things sometimes made illegally on roads, in slang 23. Video series in many a frat house library 26. DJ’s needs 27. “Keep that part to yourself!” 28. Pig Latin 101 word 31. Chemical warfare weapon 37. Take advantage of the La-Z-Boy, say 38. Brand used while waiting for a period 39. “Fight Club” chemical 40. Studio with the “Saw” series 44. Eternity alternative 46. Stuff in a drum 47. Vietnamese minority group 48. Pre-game platitude 55. Quaint (but once quite offensive) exclamation 57. Calculus pioneer Leonhard

58. “Guilty,” e.g. 59. “Octopus’s Garden” composer 61. Change someone’s words around? 62. Colonize, more politely 63. Device purchased to avoid ads 64. Certain pet’s proverbial life count 65. Authority 66. Dept. headed by Steven Chu 67. Loch ___ Down 1. “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” author Larsson 2. Indian drink often made with mango 3. For face value, in stocks 4. City some 600 miles from Russia 5. Fixes the crappy job that neighborhood kid did after raking the leaves 6. Texas Revolution site 7. Basketball Hall of Famer George 8. Take, as a whole bunch of heroin 9. Doctor’s office read, for short 10. Major export from the islets of Langerhans 11. Sounded like a steer 12. Small vortex 13. “High” bodies 19. Science class aquarium creatures 24. Concern yourself with intelligence 25. Caveat before a subjective state-

contributed photo

Saturday, 8:00 pm, FREE [ACOUSTIC]

SIOBAHN Beanery on 2nd

www.sudoku-puzzles.net

To be considered for a calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon on Tuesday, two weeks before publication. Send to editor@thealchemistweekly.com. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self addressed, stamped envelope.

ment, online 28. The Beastie Boys’ “___ Communication” 29. I preceder, usually 30. Con lead-in 31. Symbol of smallness 32. Make a choice 33. Suffix with suburban 34. Mop & ___ (floor cleaner) 35. Rand with elaborate excuses for greed 36. Benefit from a miraculous healing ceremony, say 41. People who won’t just let you live your life already 42. John Hancock, for short 43. Uses Elmer’s, e.g. 44. Gear tooth 45. Kumar portrayer 47. Genre with slashers 48. ___ state 49. “CosÏ fan ___” (Mozart opera) 50. Taken down, as a dragon 51. Balls 52. Motown track, say 53. Horse holders 54. “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” director David 55. Historical episodes 56. Martin’s girlfriend, on “Martin” 60. “Tools you hold on to” kitchen brand

5 3 6 7 5

8 9 8 1

4 2 5 8 9 4 5 1 6

7 1 8 4 3 6 2

WWW.TH EALCH EMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

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WORD

O’PINING PINTS

37 Cents: Music worth every penny

Surrounding me are metaphors

by JIMBO IVY

ne thing that cannot be said of Corvallis, Oregon is that it has a lack of quality local music; it would seem that nearly everyone that inhabits the area is either a musician, DJ, or performance artist of some kind. In fact, there are so many events, venues, and studios, that keeping track of it all can sometimes be a daunting task, especially if you’re a new musician, or new to Corvallis. That’s where 37 Cents comes in. Started in early January, 37 Cents is a collective of artists, venue owners, and fans that have banded together in order to promote local talent and expand community awareness of local live music events. The group’s name, 37 Cents, is a reference to a panhandling technique wherein it is thought that asking for a specific amount of money, rather than spare change or “a dollar,” is more effective as it implies a goal. The group initially formed around an allages venue called “The Wake” created by local recording engineer Steve Hunter which, while it was operating, represented Corvallis’ only dedicated all-ages venue, something that many members of 37 Cents feel is important have in a community. The Wake has since ceased operation due to capacity restrictions put in place by the building owner, but the community spirit that it embodied is alive and well

in 37 Cents, which has weekly meetings and an online presence through which users can promote events they think others should know about. The membership of 37 Cents thus far is incredibly diverse, which is one of its goals. Every genre from punk, to bluegrass, to folk, to metal, is represented, as is every age demographic. 37 Cents is meant for everyone and all, not just certain groups or cliques. Currently, the organization is a group of concerned people discussing either in meetings or online the various aspects of the Corvallis local music scene that they think need attention, beyond that anything is possible. There are no requirements for membership, no dues or secret handshakes; just a desire to promote the local musicians and venues that make our life a little sweeter. To find out info, meeting times, and other details about 37 Cents and how you can get involved with its local music mission, search Facebook for “37 Cents” or email Steve Hunter at rad.recordings@gmail.com.

Photographers Wanted submissions@ thealchemistweekly.com

• MARCH 1, 2011 • WWW.TH E A LC H E M I S T WE E KLY. CO M

VOICE

n so many ways, life is nothing but layers of people combined with the experiences you have with them. In my opinion, the more layers, the richer you lead your life. Head out on a moderately cool day for a hike with a heavy winter’s coat and you will end up either too hot or too cold. A painter will take globs of oil and smear it across a canvass with the will of the Muse’s ephemeral emotions splaying out, for some a goldenrod of pure sight and color, and for others, removal of deep emotions. My relationship as a small business owner in the world of alcoholic beverages has been, for me, layers upon layers of relationships, and experiences piled on top of each other. I wear not a single bulky coat and all of the people surrounding me are metaphors for different colors and brushes. I’ve known Nick Arzner -Block 15 famefor a very long time and his business partner and wife, Kristen, is equally as rich in glorious colors and as brilliant as crimson and azure. They have done well in this town with Block 15. As a start-up business and as a meeting place it is always filled with people and exciting beers and a menu that is always re-invented. Sometimes there are 4 or 5 layers of standing room-only just to get to the bar! On a weekly basis we do some form of business together and our alcohol, mutually related, businesses mesh well with each other. The layers are many here and if you are still reading this Opining Pints edition then you understand how the Block 15 layer has also included you. Enter Patricia Smith, the Block 15 illustrator who has won your visual taste buds with her intricate layers of ink and paint in whimsical lines on the face of your tulip glass containing the beer that Block 15 produced. She has boldly splashed color onto paper that helps your mind feast on Figgy Pudding or Pappy’s Dark long before your tongue seeks deep into the vast layers of malt, and hops, and Bourbon, and cacao, and alcohol, and foam to form the whimsical flavors of Block 15 beers.

Layers upon layers of relationships based on beer, and food, and information, and friends, and if you could just remove one layer to save it, then there is yet another layer exposed and it is just as rich and abundant as the previous as is the next layer that you are wanting to unravel. This First Thursday Art Walk on March 3rd will be yet another opportunity for you to either take a layer and pull it over you, like sheets of a bed, or to take a layer back and expose vivacious people and experiences. Patricia Smith will be showing her illustrations at Corvallis Brewing Supply with Block 15 beers in the house. Bringing in another layer, Ko Atteberry, Patricia’s partner, will be providing delectable snacks. Ko is the head cook at Cloud 9 / Downward Dog. See where this is going? It is an evening of supporting the arts of the visual, brewery and artistic world. Layers of it all heaped up on top of each other so that the casual observer cannot discern one leading edge from the other.The First Thursday Art Walk is yet another layer in my life and hopefully yours. As a small business owner and appreciator of those who create, I’d challenge your business to host an artist and their work for an evening or a week or a month. And, don’t just do it once; make a commitment to do it over-and-over again until you have layers upon layers of history in supporting local arts. Don’t worry; you’ll immediately lose money paying for hosting beverages and food as well as in staffing. You won’t even have that many sales to offset your expenses. It’s one of those “layers” that makes life richer and fuller with more splashes of contextual colors. If you are an artist, get out of your shell and promote the Muse. As a small business owner it’s hard enough organizing and promoting a First Thursday event without having to track you down (let me know if you want a First Thursday event at Corvallis Brewing Supply). Remember, it is one of those layers that needs to be either pulled back or pulled over. -Joel Rea, {Corvallis Brewing Supply owner) joel@lickspigot.com

LITERATI

I Looked For You by Nikki Dalo

I looked for you in the clouds Driving down a lonely road I looked for you last night In the stars I saw above I looked for you today In my coffee and my cream I looked for you in sleep Tucked away in dreams

Bullhead City, Arizona by Shane van Hayden

I thought I’d find a more compelling story. What I found was: Run down trailer parks and garbage dumps along with the usual tic tac toe of Exxon, Walmart and Domino’s Pizza.

I waited for you in song My words a fervent plea I waited for you while I brewed My chamomile tea I waited for you in the morning In the creases of my bed I waited for you in solitude Thoughts scattered in my head

And a convoy of RVs crossing the river into Laughlin at night past the moored jet skis and speed boats for $5 buffet lines and the Oak Ridge Boys. Every useless casino lit up like a big fat glowing Ferris wheel roulette falling and failing into the hollowed out desert night.

I found you in some words A stranger let me see I found you in a book I’d written just for me I found you on a walk Around a lovely city I found you in the night-time breeze Under a sky so pretty

From the 17th floor of the Riverside Resort and Casino you can look down with even a modicum of imagination and see it all there poised like some blind dragon set to float finally out to sea…

Did you look for me The way that I looked for you? And did you wait for me And believe it to be true That you could ever find me The way that I found you In the morning In a city On a train Inside a dream In the wind On a bridge In a story that never ends?

If You Could Marnie Ernst Zoa

Send us your original poetry and prose. editor@thealchemistweekly.com

If you could, baby really would you If they gave you every penny, mamma could you Or would you just find another way To turn around and walk away Turn your back on your dreams Sell you short for another day If you could, baby really would you If I wrapped myself around you, mamma could you Or would you just close your eyes and refuse to see You’ve got everything inside you naturally You are that one you’d hoped to be You just need a change of scenery If you could, baby really would you If I picked you up and took you, mamma could you Fly away on wings of dreams or Would you drift away on tearful streams Would you see the love swimming in my eyes Or mistake it for a sea of lies If you could, baby really would you If you knew all the reasons, mamma could you Give up, give in, give away your shot to win Would you give me the chance to show you the stars If I gave you the moon, would you believe that it’s ours Baby would you, mamma could you WWW.TH EALCH EMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

Weekly

o strol ger

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Coyote Kate

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Your quest is to find a bone or bone-like object, tie it to a string like they do in Estonia and Finland, and whirl it above your head. What does the whistling noise tell you? Then, make your grandma’s split pea and ham soup recipe (or just split pea). Read the peas. The oracles reveal your path for the week. To finish off, stay within these countries traditions by visiting the snow. Discover how hope reveals itself in the crystalline magic water.

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• MARCH 1, 2011 • WWW.TH E A LC H E M I S T WE E KLY. CO M

Aries (March 21-April 19): The new moon shifts into Aries on the weekend. To celebrate this passing, I suggest you start with a recipe that reflects the quickening of spring, something with fermented yeast, baking soda or baking powder. Today, Mardi Gras, provides the perfect occasion being suffused with partying ere the great fast. In keeping with tradition, serve some special pancakes. And while munching, muse about the time-honored competition of the pancake races involving usually women, flipping these flat creations while they run through the streets, counting the number of successful aerials. Wait until the bubbles rise on the uncooked side before you flip, Aries, otherwise you’ll eat raw flapjacks. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Part of Shrove Tuesday celebration included playing mob football in the streets until a law passed in the Highway Act of 1835 disallowing it in England. Venus’ movement into Aquarius affects your sign — different things, expending some of that pent-up energy Bull. Find a park, play mob football or hurl until you drop. Then grab a malasada, a Portuguese yeast roll with the filling of your choice. Gemini (May 21-June 20): March is National Women’s History Month. Gemini, is there one particular woman who influenced you more than any other? I ask because your twin polarities merge with the cosmos’ alignment more than at any other time of your life. Light a candle for your choice. Light more for all the others who have contributed, sustained or harbored your growth. And if you are feeling seriously energetic, rewrite some aspect of your history under the influence of your new-found unity. Cancer ( June 21-July 22): You could try to be the one who rises from the feast table last after eating fried potato dough and

dark corn syrup, Cancer. On Fosnacht Day (American German celebration) you would be teased for this. Wear a funky hat in honor of the dark moon passing, be last to rise and enjoy. Wear your Carnival smile. Leo ( July 23-Aug. 22): It may not be too late to make like the Greek municipality of Tyrnavos and hold your own festival in which you and yours decorate effigies of paper-mache phalluses, parade them, and ask the female (s) to touch and kiss them, wherein if they do, they are rewarded with spirits. Sounds like a great way to spend a night or two celebrating the dawning of spring—a feline-fest. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): For a contemplative essence, let the purity of beauty bestow itself upon you. Start with this and allow the flourishing. “I wandered lonely as a cloud that floats on high o’er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.” William Wordsworth (17701850). Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Your ruling planet Venus, ‘jewel of the sky,’ moves into Aquarius Tuesday evening. Use your natural hosting skills to incite a paczki-eating contest. This Polish celebration that involves donuts, lots of other food and music and usually happens on Thursday after Ash Wednesday. Acknowledging your planet’s movement into the Water Bearer sign could merit Polish beer too. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Play time Scorpio. Line all your dolls into a parade to honor this Germanic celebratory day of Weiberfastnacht. Or gather your sisters and female counterparts and dress up, get goofy, spend a day or week of happy interlude before the spring cleaning or fasting. Share the quickening. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Quality of life. Quality of life. Quality of life. I say as I click my ruby shoes together in my Dorothy-esce dream. Oh, there’s Toto. Yes, I rather like his quality of life. Dog morsels, cuddled while carried, sniffing anything I want to, and loving my soul mate. Sag, find your comforts as the moon grows. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Whoever finds the bean or trinket inside the King or Queen Cake has the responsibility of buying next year’s cake during Mardi Gras. Cappy, you catalyst--buy the cake, hide the quirky trinket and set yourself to have some fun. Venus is all about loving. Aquarius ( Jan. 20-Feb.18): Serve up some festy cock as Venus, that planet of love, moves into your sign this week. You may substitute the Scottish dish, made with wet meal, shaped into a pancake and roasted in an oven, for the other if you wish. Cook up an ode to this shining star.

Albany

Albany Civic Theater

111 First Ave. SW 541.928.4603

Corvallis

Aqua Seafood Restaurant & Bar

Alleyoop Lounge

151 NW Monroe Ave. 541.752.0262

Bogey’s Bar & Grill

The Beanery on 2nd

Calapooia Brewing

Big River Restaurant & Bar

901 Pacific Blvd 541.941.0977 129 W 1st Ave. 541.929.8900 140 Hill St. NE 541.928.1931

Cappies Brewhouse

211 1st Ave W 541.926.1710

Cascade Grill

110 Opal St. NW 541.926.3388

Chasers Bar & Grill

500 SW 2nd St 541.753.7442 101 NW Jackson Ave. 541.757.0694

Block 15

300 SW Jefferson Ave. 541.758.2077

Bombs Away Café

435 SE 2nd Ave 541928.9634

2527 NW Monroe Ave. 541.757.7221

Dixie Creek Saloon

China Delight Restaurant

32994 Hwy 99E, Tangent, OR 541.926.2767

Favorite Mistake Sports Bar

325 NW 2nd St. 541.753.3753

Clodfelter’s

1501 NW Monroe Ave. 541.758.4452

5420 Pacific Blvd. 541.903.0034

Cloud 9

Front Street Bar

Crowbar

2300 Northeast Front Ave. 541.926.2739

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill 2211 Waverly Dr. SE 541.981.2376

Humpty’s Dump Bar & Grill

126 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 214 SW 2nd St. 541.753.7373

Lariat Lounge

Fireworks Restaurant & Bar

130 SW 1st St. 541.753.9900 136 SW Washington Ave. 541.758.9095

1115 SE 3rd 541.754.6958

Linger Longer Tavern

Flat Tail Pub

145 SW Main St. 541.926.2174

202 SW 1st St. 541.758.2219

Lucky Larrys Lounge

Greenberry Store & Tavern

124 Broadalbin St SW 541.926.2838

Wilhelm’s Spirits & Eatery 1520 Pacific Blvd SE 541.926.7001

Peacock Bar & Grill

125 SW 2nd St. 541.754.8522

Squirrel’s

100 SW 2nd St. 541.753.8057

Sunnyside Up Café

116 NW 3rd St 541.758.3353

Suds & Suds

1045 NW Kings Blvd. 541.758.5200

Troubadour

521 SW 2nd St. 541.752.7720

Tyee Wine Cellars 26335 Greenberry Rd. 541.753.8754

Wanted Saloon 140 NW 3rd St.

WineStyles

2333 N.W. Kings Blvd. 541.738.9463

Lebanon

Cornerstone Café & Pub

136 SW Washington Ave, Ste. 102 - 541.753.2222

Enoteca Wine Bar

Riley’s Billiards Bar & Grill

1030 S.W. Third St. 541.757.2727

DEL Alma

2200 NW 9th St. 541.752.6364

JP’s Restaurant & Lounge

1296 S Commercial Way SE 541.928.3654

Papa’s Pizza

Artisian’s Well Lounge

Downward Dog

901 Pacific Blvd SE 541.928.2606

2740 SW 3rd St. 541.738. 7600

Darrell’s Restaurant & Lounge

916 Old Salem Rd NE 541.926.3111

220 2nd Ave. 541.926.5546

Murphy’s Tavern

29974 HWY 99W 541.752.3796

Harrison Bar & Grill 550 NW Harrison Blvd. 541.754.1017

Impulse

1425 NW Monroe Ave. 541.230.1114

La Bamba Mix Night Club

126 SW 4th St. 541.207.3593

Luc

134 SW 4th St. 541.753.4171

Scampi Prawns • 15-20 Shrimp (black tiger prawns size 26 - 30) • 1/4 sweet yellow onion sliced Julienne style • 1/2 pound baby portabella mushrooms cut into 1/4 pieces • EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) • 1 tablespoon fresh chopped garlic • 1 table spoon butter • 1/2 cup white wine (basic Chablis) (optional cherry tomatoes and green onions) • Split cherry tomatoes in half. Chop green onions into small rings Heat pan on medium high heat place small amount of EVOO in pan. Add onions and garlic and let cook for approx 2 - 3 minutes. Add shrimp and mushrooms stir and let cook until shrimp are almost done (starting to turn red in color). Stir again and add butter and wine once butter starts to melt. The wine and butter will combine to create a sauce, once this begins to happen you can drop in your cherry tomatoes and green onions, stir once again and turn off heat. Serve in a bowl or pasta boat type dish with rice and vegetables. Or use last weeks

Penne pasta with brown butter and cheese and pour your scampi right over the top of the noodles. This is a quick, but tasty, way to prepare shrimp. The recipe can also work for chicken if you are not a seafood fan. Use the same recipe but instead of shrimp use 1/4-inch bits of boneless skinless chicken breast. You may want to add a little salt and pepper to the chicken version.

2250 South Main Rd. 541.451.3900

180 S 5th St. 541.847.6262

Duffy’s Irish Pub 679 South Main St. 541.259.2906

Fire Pit Lounge

2230 South Santiam Hwy 541.451.2010

GameTime Sports Bar & Grill

3130 South Santiam Hwy 541.570.1537

Merlin’s Bar & Grill 541.258.6205

Peacock Bar & Grill East

76 E. Sherman St. 541.451.2027

Sports Shack & Deli

1250 Grant St. 541.259.0800

Philomath

High 5 Sports Bar & Grill 1644 Main St.-541.929.7529

Meet’n Place Tavern

1150 Mian St. 541.929.3130

Wine Vault

1301 Main St. 541.929.8496

Wing Sing Restaurant & Lounge 658 Main St. 541.929.6255

WWW.TH EALCH EMI ST WEEKLY.COM • MARCH 1, 2011 •

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