EOM Leader Guide by City on a Hill

C I TY ON A HI LL

Copyright © 2019 City on a Hill Studio, LLC All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other – except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without prior written permission of the publisher. Published in Louisville, Kentucky by City on a Hill Studio. City on a Hill Studio is a registered trademark of City on a Hill Studio, LLC. Additional copies of this Leader's Guide along with other The End of Me study resources may be purchased online at cityonahillstudio.com Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: New International Version® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Lead your group to unpack the many counterintuitive truths of Jesus's Beatitudes, including: brokenness is the way to wholeness, mourning is the path to blessing, and emptiness is required in order to know true fullness. Ultimately you will discover how Jesus transforms you as you begin to live out these paradoxical principles. Because only when you come to the end of yourself can you begin to experience the full, blessed, and whole life Jesus offers.

The end of you is the beginning.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction | 6 Week 1 | 20

broken to be whole

Week 2 | 28 mourn to be happy

Week 3 | 36

authentic to be accepted

Week 4 | 46

empty to be filled

INTRODUCTION

a voice heaven And And a voice fromfrom heaven said,said, is my whom I love; "This"This is my Son,Son, whom I love; "YOU MUST BE BROKEN TO BE WHOLE, YOU pleased." withwith him him I amI am wellwell pleased." MUST MOURN TO BE HAPPY, YOU MUST BE AUTHENTIC TO BE ACCEPTED, AND YOU - Matthew - Matthew 3:17 3:17 MUST BE EMPTY TO BE FILLED."

ow would you describe the Good Life?

In the famous Sermon on the Mount, found in Matthew 5 through 7, Jesus invites us into the Good Life. But, to our great surprise, Jesus tells us that the Good Life is not the one full of comfort, stability, acceptance, and status. Counterintuitively, Jesus says, it is blessed to be poor. Blessed to mourn. Blessed to be hungry and thirsty. Blessed to be pure and merciful. Blessed even to be rejected and persecuted. Jesus opens his Sermonâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;a sort of new law for the new people

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of God—with a series of blessings, called beatitudes. In Jesus's Beatitudes, everything is upside down. Brokenness is the way to wholeness. Mourning is the way to happiness. Authenticity is the way to acceptance. And emptiness is the way to fullness. But the further we look into Jesus’s words, we discover he isn’t actually turning the world upside down. He’s turning our world right-side up. Jesus’s Beatitudes demonstrate a life of true blessedness—the truly Good Life. True blessedness isn’t found in looking within ourselves or developing self-esteem. The Good Life isn’t found by focusing on ourselves at all. Instead, blessedness is found in less of me and more of Christ. The Good Life comes only at the end of me. In this four-week study, return to that first-century hillside with Jesus and the disciples. Sit among the crowd and hear on Jesus’s words afresh. Receive his invitation to come to the end of yourself—and in doing so, find what you’ve always been looking for. Through the Beatitudes and Kyle Idleman’s book, The End of Me, discover that…

YOU YOU YOU YOU

MUST MUST MUST MUST

BE BROKEN TO BE WHOLE, MOURN TO BE HAPPY, BE EMPTY TO BE FILLED, AND BE AUTHENTIC TO BE ACCEPTED.

When you come to the end of me, you are free to live as Christ intended—free to be truly blessed.

THE BEATITUDES To help you and your group understand and experience the upside-down Kingdom of Christ, we’ll be focusing on a short passage of Scripture. Along with the video episodes and Journal, Jesus’s words in the gospel of Matthew will invite us into the life-changing truths about life with God, personal flourishing, and the (truly) Good Life. NOW WHEN JESUS SAW THE CROWDS, HE WENT UP ON A MOUNTAINSIDE AND SAT DOWN. HIS DISCIPLES CAME TO HIM, AND HE BEGAN TO TEACH THEM. HE SAID:

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BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY WILL BE COMFORTED. BLESSED ARE THE MEEK, FOR THEY WILL INHERIT THE EARTH. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO HUNGER AND THIRST FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEY WILL BE FILLED. BLESSED ARE THE MERCIFUL, FOR THEY WILL BE SHOWN MERCY. BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART, FOR THEY WILL SEE GOD. BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY WILL BE CALLED CHILDREN OF GOD. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE PERSECUTED BECAUSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN PEOPLE INSULT YOU, PERSECUTE YOU AND FALSELY SAY ALL KINDS OF EVIL AGAINST YOU BECAUSE OF ME. REJOICE AND BE GLAD, BECAUSE GREAT IS YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN, FOR IN THE SAME WAY THEY PERSECUTED THE PROPHETS WHO WERE BEFORE YOU.

- MATTHEW 5:1-12 (NIV)

PLANNING YOUR TIME To get the most out of The End of Me experience, I encourage you to commit to a journey of four weeks. Over this time, you and your small group will have time to watch four videos, study Scripture together, complete the Journal, and even read the entire book if you choose. The Journal will enable your group to get the most out of the video series. Designed as a 28-day devotional journey, the journal connects the message of The End of Me to an in-depth study of Matthew 5:1-12. Each day provides devotional content and thoughtful discussion questions and exercises. Your group members will bring more to share and have more profound reflections when using the Journal with this Leaderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Guide. Consider this syllabus to guide your personal and group time:

VIDEO

THEMES

JOURNAL

BOOK

SCRIPTURE MEMORY

WEEK 1

BROKENNESS & WHOLENESS

WEEK 1

INTRO, 1

MATT. 5:1-3

WEEK 2

MOURNING & HAPPINESS

WEEK 2

2, 3

MATT. 5:4-7

WEEK 3

AUTHENTICITY & ACCEPTANCE

WEEK 3

MATT. 5:8-10

WEEK 4

EMPTINESS & FULLNESS

WEEK 4

5 - 8

MATT. 5:11-12

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MEMORIZING THE BEATITUDES In the Journal, I encourage readers to memorize Matthew 5:1-12. It may seem daunting, but your group can do this in only four weeks as well. Imagine having Jesus’s words in the back of your mind every day. How might your daily life be different with Christ’s vision for wholeness and flourishing at hand? How might your view of brokenness change? How might you respond to pain and suffering differently? Where might you become more authentically you? How might you discover fullness in Christ that you never expected? If you’ve never memorized Scripture, it can be intimidating. But it’s not as difficult as it might seem. Consider the following Scripture memory tips: • Read the memory verse or phrase aloud ten times • Take a few minutes to reflect on the meaning of the verse or phrase • Consider how the verse or phrase connects to the rest of the memory passage • Rehearse the entire passage aloud and add the new memory verse or phrase • Write out the verse, phrase, or entire passage on a note card and put it somewhere visible—on your mirror, in your car, or on your computer screen • Consider including the verse numbers if that helps you keep your place

LEADING YOUR GROUP As you prepare to lead your group through this series on life in Jesus’s upside-down Kingdom, it’s normal to feel nervous or underqualified. But remember: The primary qualification for leading this group discussion is merely a heart for Jesus and his people. These words of Jesus are difficult. They challenge us. They question our goals. They disrupt our plans. And so you will likely experience some level of resistance in some group members. This is a good sign! Without resistance, people probably aren’t really wrestling with the tough truths. When Jesus goes to work on our souls, we often find ourselves in tears, asking hard questions, and leaning on others for help. When someone in your group is sharing a deep hurt, is struggling to receive grace, or is resisting sharing in depth, consider a few quick principles. 1. Expect difficult people. We know that everyone is sinful, but it still surprises us, doesn’t it? There will always be difficult people. Remember: Difficult people aren’t problems to fix, they’re people to love. 2. Recognize stages of maturity. You may have significant diversity in our group—old and young, married and unmarried, all different personality types and interests. Within a single group, you may have five different seasons of life and varying stages of maturity. From the new believer to the struggling

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Christian to the quick learner, remember to give grace to each person, wherever he or she is at. 3. Embrace the complexity. People are anything but straightforward. The same person in your group can be outgoing and silent, generous and critical, fruitful and foolish—all depending on the circumstances. This is not unusual; it’s human nature. Don’t rush to conclusions if someone is struggling; situations are often more complex than they seem. 4. Remember your role. If you’re a small group leader, there’s a good chance you—like me— have a genuine desire to solve others’ problems or hold their lives together. But you and I can’t change anyone. Our role is to create an environment of grace where God can change people. 5. Start with grace. Several Christian authors describe the process of how people change:

grace + truth + time (in relationship) = change

We create an environment of grace and expect sinners like us to be present. But even when someone is missing the truth, the first word out of our mouths should likely be one of grace. It’s a miracle of God every time someone admits sin or lets others into their suffering. We don’t exist to judge one another; we exist to point one another to the grace of God. When we have given grace, we can speak God’s truth to one another in love (Ephesians 4:15). But this takes time and patience. All these are necessary for true spiritual change.

ASKING GREAT QUESTIONS When you gather with your group, a familiar and structured pattern of discussion should prove fruitful. After a period of fellowship and settling in, each week will follow a rhythm of conversation and instruction that enables self-discovery, personal application, and deep meditation on God’s Word. The basic flow of these questions mirrors the work of grace in our hearts. The approach is gentle, meeting us where we really are—so we will begin with a soft opening question and prayer. Then we must learn the biblical truths—we’ll seek to learn the Scriptures through a Scripture reading, the teaching video, and basic questions covering content and meaning. Understanding truth is essential, but God’s Word is meant to be experienced and practiced. In the section “Meditation and Application,” the goal is transformation through deep reflection and personal application. This provides the space for the Holy Spirit to root the truth of Scripture deep in our hearts. Lastly, focusing on application recognizes that we must put a new reality into practice right away. We’ll finish in prayer, committing the discussion and all its discoveries to God. Opening Question You may choose to alter the opening question to fit your group’s dynamics. But keep it simple and light-hearted. Starting with “What’s your darkest sin?” or “Who can describe the basic themes of the book of Matthew?” can be off-putting. Start instead with a question

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that’s easy to answer. For a new or shy person in the group, speaking the first time is the hardest. But speaking up early on a simple question enables them to share more deeply later. If you create your own opening question, choose a simple, open-ended question that connects to the week’s theme without getting too far ahead. Scripture Reading Before starting the video, take a few minutes to read the assigned passage—a portion from Matthew 5. Don’t worry about explaining too much at this point. The goal is to have the themes of brokenness and blessedness in the background as you watch the video, then you’ll dive in later. Opening Prayer Prior to starting the video, say a short prayer to commit the time to the Lord. Consider having this prayer—or any other portions—led by another group member to help share the leadership load. Video Before each group gathering, test the appropriate video and familiarize yourself with it. The videos are short, practical, and should foster immediate reflection and discussion. Content and Meaning After reading the Scripture and watching the video, you will begin to help one another understand the content and meaning. Here, we are merely asking questions like, “What does it say?” and “What

does it mean?” The questions under the heading “Content and Meaning” will help you reflect on the passage along these lines. Meditation and Application Once your group understands the content and meaning of the passage and video, you’ll have a more in-depth level conversation. The goal here is not information but transformation. We read and reflect not merely to learn. We read and reflect to experience. Jesus is inviting us to know him personally through his Word. In the sections marked “Meditation and Application,” you’re going to be asking questions like, “What does it mean for me to obey this passage today?” and “How can I love and enjoy God more as a result of these truths?” Here, you may want to adapt these questions to the specific needs of your group. You are encouraged to do this! If you do so, be sure to ask open-ended questions like “How is God inviting you to respond?” as opposed to yes/no questions like “Do you believe that God’s grace is enough?” Seek to open up deep reflection on God’s Word and honest, practical application as a result. Journal Before wrapping up the gathering, encourage group members to actively engage in the Journal throughout the upcoming week. As you journey through the Journal together as a group, you will better understand and apply God’s grace, and your relationships will grow deeper.

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Prayer Take a few minutes to allow several members to pray aloud. Members can pray words of gratitude for truths they have learned, pray for pressing situations, and pray for one another.

EXPERIENCING JESUS One last reminder: As you lead your group through this study, don’t forget to grow in Christ yourself! Often, we learn something when we have the responsibility of organizing and teaching. Think of this, not as a burden, but as an opportunity. Go as deeply into God’s grace as you can, and surely others will benefit as well. Remember that the message of this study speaks directly to you as a leader. Jesus invites you to come to him as you are. You don’t have to pull it together and get it right. You can be poor-in-spirit, meek, hungry, and thirsty. Indeed, these are the truly blessed ones! When you feel discouraged by silence, overwhelmed with others’ struggles, or disappointed by an “off night” in your group, remember: When you reach the end of your yourself, life can really begin. Trust the Lord and enjoy the process!

BROKEN TO BE WHOLE

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

ONE

Matthew 5:3

WEEK 1

his week, we are starting a new curriculum set called The End of Me. We’ll see how Jesus’s teachings invite us into the truly Good Life—but it’s not the life we might expect. Each week, we’ll watch and discuss a short video, read through a passage of Scripture from the book of Matthew, and discuss how Jesus’s teachings bring hope, healing, and renewal in our lives. Before we begin with the Scripture and video, let’s start with an easy question.

OPENING QUESTION > HOW WOULD YOU DEFINE “THE GOOD LIFE”? THINK OF A BOOK, MOVIE, OR TV SHOW, THAT SETS FORTH A VISION OF “THE GOOD LIFE”; HOW IS IT DESCRIBED, TALKED ABOUT, OR SEEN?

READING Each week, we’ll focus on a portion of Matthew chapter 5 along with the video teaching. Matthew is the first of the four gospel narratives about Jesus’s life. Matthew was one of Jesus’s disciples and intimately knew him as Lord, Savior, and Teacher. 20

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Matthew 5 through 7 contain some of Jesus’s most important teachings; it’s often called “the Sermon on the Mount.” Jesus opens his life-changing sermon with a set of shocking statements. As you read or hear it aloud the first time, simply try to understand what Jesus was teaching, and you may want to jot down a few notes in your Journal or own notebook. > WOULD SOMEONE VOLUNTEER TO READ MATTHEW 5:112 OUT LOUD?

NOW WHEN JESUS SAW THE CROWDS, HE WENT UP ON A MOUNTAINSIDE AND SAT DOWN. AND HE BEGAN TO TEACH THEM. HE SAID: BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN, FOR THEY WILL BE COMFORTED. BLESSED ARE THE MEEK, FOR THEY WILL INHERIT THE EARTH. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO HUNGER AND THIRST FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEY WILL BE FILLED. BLESSED ARE THE MERCIFUL, FOR THEY WILL BE SHOWN MERCY. BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART, FOR THEY WILL SEE GOD. BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY WILL BE CALLED CHILDREN OF GOD. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO ARE PERSECUTED BECAUSE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN PEOPLE INSULT YOU, PERSECUTE YOU AND FALSELY SAY ALL KINDS OF EVIL AGAINST YOU BECAUSE OF ME. REJOICE AND BE GLAD, BECAUSE GREAT IS YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN, FOR IN THE SAME WAY THEY PERSECUTED THE PROPHETS WHO WERE BEFORE YOU. - MATTHEW 5:1-12

OPENING PRAYER Let’s take a moment to pray together that this time of study and discussion would be helpful. SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for this opportunity to gather in a busy week. Thank you for everyone here and for how you’re working in each of our lives, in many unseen ways. Please give us insight into your Word as we gather. You are our Lord, Savior, and Teacher. May we truly understand and live by your words. Amen.

VIDEO Let’s watch this week’s video, and then we’ll discuss.

PLAY WEEK 1: BROKEN TO BE WHOLE

CONTENT AND MEANING Let’s start with a few questions about Kyle’s teaching, Rachelle’s story, and Matthew 5:1-12.

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> WHAT WAS UNIQUE ABOUT THE WAY JESUS GATHERED HIS DISCIPLES AND OTHER FOLLOWERS TO TEACH THEM ABOUT LIFE IN HIS KINGDOM? WHAT DO YOU NOTICE ABOUT HIS POSTURE AMONG THE PEOPLE? > WHAT DO YOU THINK JESUS MEANS WHEN HE USES THE WORD “BLESSED”? > THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO RECEIVE JESUS’S BLESSINGS: THE POOR IN SPIRIT, THE SORROWFUL, THE HUNGRY, THE PURE-HEARTED, THE MERCIFUL, THE PERSECUTED. WHAT DO ALL THESE PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON? > IN WHAT WAYS DO JESUS’S WORDS FLIP OUR WORLD’S ASSUMPTIONS AND PRIORITIES UPSIDE DOWN—OR, MORE ACCURATELY, FLIP AN UPSIDE-DOWN WORLD RIGHT-SIDE UP?

One New Testament scholar notes, “The Sermon [on the Mount] is Christianity’s answer to the greatest question that humanity has always faced—How can we experience true human flourishing? What is happiness, blessedness, shalom, and how does one obtain and sustain it?” > HOW DO YOU SEE THESE QUESTIONS BEING POSED AND ANSWERED IN JESUS’S BEATITUDES? > WHAT WAS THE MOST ENCOURAGING OR CHALLENGING PART OF RACHELLE’S TESTIMONY OR MINISTRY IN THE VIDEO?

MEDITATION AND APPLICATION Now that we have a good understanding of this passage, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s focus on what these truths say for our hearts here and now, and how we can live in light of these truths. Kyle says, “Blessed are you when you’re so broke you have nothing to offer… Jesus is saying that God’s kingdom begins in you when you come to the end of yourself and realize you have nothing to offer.” > HOW DOES THIS RESONATE WITH YOU? WHERE MIGHT YOU FIND YOURSELF RESISTING THIS TRUTH? > HOW HAVE YOU SEEN GOD’S MERCY AND GRACE APPEAR IN YOUR OWN STORY OF FAITH? DESCRIBE HOW JESUS DREW YOU TO HIMSELF AND CHANGED YOUR LIFE. > WHAT IS ONE AREA OF YOUR LIFE WHERE “ME”—MY PRIORITIES, MY NEEDS, MY HOPES, AND MY DREAMS—IS STILL RUNNING THE SHOW AND CALLING THE SHOTS? > THE BEATITUDES TEACH THAT WHOLENESS IS FOUND ONLY IN GOD’S PRESENCE. FLOURISHING COMES ONLY THROUGH FAITH IN GOD, ONENESS WITH CHRIST, AND THE EMPOWERMENT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU TO PURSUE WHOLENESS AND TO FLOURISH IN CHRIST? > HOW DOES RACHELLE’S STORY IN THE VIDEO CHALLENGE OR ENCOURAGE YOU TO ACCEPT YOUR BROKENNESS AND MOVE TOWARD OTHERS’ BROKENNESS? HOW MIGHT GOD USE YOU TO BRING ABOUT HEALING AND WHOLENESS IN OTHERS?

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> KYLE SAYS, “BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN YOU COME TO THE END OF ME.” SO, WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW SPIRITUALLY? ARE YOU THRIVING? STRUGGLING? WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GET OUT OF THIS STUDY?

STUDY JOURNAL You each have a Journal to accompany this series. Before we meet next week, I encourage you to do the seven days of devotional readings and questions. The seventh day is a day for review and reflection, and you can get caught up there if needed. Over the next week, let’s each do Week One of the Journal (Days 1-7) and come ready to discuss what we’ve learned next time. Scripture Memory If you are working to memorize this Scripture passage, the verses for this week are Matthew 5:1-3.

PRAYER SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for this message of freedom tonight. We pray now that your Holy Spirit would remind us of these great truths throughout the week. We pray that we would come to the end of ourselves, and in doing so, find the life in Christ we were meant to discover and enjoy. We love you and trust you. Amen. 25

MOURN TO BE HAPPY

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

TWO

Matthew 5:4

WEEK 2

his week, we are continuing in our new curriculum set called The End of Me. We’ll see how Jesus’s teachings describe true blessedness—but the “blessed” ones are not those whom we might expect. Each week, we are watching and discussing a short video, reading through a passage of Scripture from the book of Matthew, and discussing how Jesus’s teachings invite us into the truly Good Life. Before we begin with the Scripture and video, let’s start with an easy question.

OPENING QUESTION > FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE HERE LAST WEEK, HOW WOULD YOU SUMMARIZE RACHELLE’S STORY AND MINISTRY DESCRIBED IN THE FIRST VIDEO? WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST, AND HOW DID THE LORD USE IT IN YOUR OWN LIFE IN THE PAST WEEK?

READING Each week, we’ll focus on a portion of Matthew chapter 5 along with the video teaching. Matthew 5 is a part of a longer section 28

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of Jesusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s teaching, often called the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7), and it opens with a series of blessings (or Beatitudes). As you read or hear it aloud, simply try to understand what Jesus was teaching, and you may want to jot down a few notes in your Journal or own notebook. > WOULD SOMEONE VOLUNTEER TO READ MATTHEW 5:112 OUT LOUD?

OPENING PRAYER Let’s take a moment to pray together that this time of study and discussion would be helpful. SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for this opportunity to gather together again. Thank you for what you showed us through your Word and stories last week. Please give us insight into your Word again tonight, and draw us closer together as a group. You are our Lord, Savior, and Teacher: Teach us how to love you, follow you, and become like you. Amen.

VIDEO Let’s watch this week’s video, and then we’ll discuss.

PLAY WEEK 2: MOURN TO BE HAPPY

CONTENT AND MEANING Let’s start with a few questions about Kyle’s teaching, the video, and Matthew 5:1-12.

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> WHEN JESUS SAYS, “BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN,” WHO IN JESUS’S AUDIENCE DO YOU THINK WOULD HAVE IDENTIFIED WITH THIS CONDITION? > WE ALL WANT TO BE HAPPY—NOT SAD, SORROWFUL, GRIEVING, OR DEPRESSED. WE RARELY SEE UNHAPPY PEOPLE, BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, OR DIFFICULT LIVES FEATURED ON THE COVER OF MAGAZINES IN THE CHECKOUT LINE. WHY DO YOU THINK OUR CULTURE IS SO AFRAID OF SADNESS AND MOURNING? > KYLE SAYS, “YOU MUST BE BROKEN TO BE MADE WHOLE.” WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT? HOW DOES THAT CAPTURE THE MESSAGE OF JESUS’S BEATITUDES FOR THE MOURNERS?

MEDITATION AND APPLICATION Now that we have a good understanding of this passage, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s focus on what these truths say for our hearts here and now, and how we can live in light of these truths. > ACCORDING TO JESUS, TRUE HAPPINESS IS NOT FOUND IN CONSTANT EASE, AIRBRUSHED APPEARANCES, AND THE ABUNDANCE OF POSSESSIONS. HOW DOES THIS CHALLENGE YOU TO MOVE TOWARD A DEEPER LIFE WITH CHRIST? > HOW DO YOU RESONATE WITH NBA PLAYER LANDRY FIELDS’S STORY? HE SAYS, “WHEN LIFE WAS GOING REALLY WELL, I WAS HAPPY. BUT WHEN IT WASN’T GOING WELL, I WAS IN DESPAIR.” HOW HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED THAT? 31

An author named Chuck DeGroat has wrote: “Like love, wholeness is discovered in a thousand disappointments, embarrassments, and missteps.” > HOW HAVE YOU FOUND THIS TO BE TRUE IN YOUR OWN LIFE?

In The End of Me book, Kyle Idleman writes, “These specific beatitudes will help lead us, sometimes kicking and screaming, down this path to real life… Jesus will show us that blessings begin and fulfillment is found in the least likely place—the end of ourselves.” (15) > HOW DO YOU THINK THIS IS TRUE FOR THOSE WHO MOURN? > LANDRY FIELDS SAYS OF HIS PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS IN PRO BASKETBALL, “IT WAS NEVER ABLE TO FULLY SATISFY. AND IT WAS LONELY.” AND LATER: “HUMAN APPROVAL WAS MY DRUG.” LANDRY’S SUFFERING ENABLED HIM TO EXPERIENCE GOD IN A NEW WAY. HOW HAS YOUR MOURNING ALLOWED YOU TO EXPERIENCE GOD AND HIS PEACE? > WHEN WE LOSE THINGS WE HOLD DEAR, A VOID IS CREATED THAT ONLY GOD CAN FILL. LIVING IN DENIAL OR BLAMING OTHERS DOESN’T HELP—ONLY GOD CAN HEAL OUR WOUNDS. LANDRY FIELDS CONCLUDES, “I HAVE THIS HOPE NOW THAT IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION.” HOW HAVE YOU FOUND HAPPINESS THROUGH MOURNING?

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STUDY JOURNAL Before we meet next week, I encourage you to continue in your Journal, working through the next seven days of devotional readings and questions. Over the next week, let’s each do Week Two of the Journal (Days 8-14) and come ready to discuss what we’ve learned next time. Scripture Memory If you are working to memorize this Scripture passage, the verses for this week are Matthew 5:4-7.

PRAYER SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for bringing life and hope to us who mourn, who ache, and who long for happier days. We pray now that your Holy Spirit would encourage our souls. We pray that we would come to the end of ourselves, and in doing so, find true Life in Christ. In Jesus’s name, we pray. Amen.

AUTHENTIC TO BE ACCEPTED

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

THREE

Matthew 5:8

WEEK 3

his week, we are continuing our study called The End of Me, looking at Jesus’s Beatitudes in Matthew 5.

On the surface, everything sounds upside down. Jesus says: Blessed are the down and out, the mourners, those who lack, the little people, the pure and merciful, and the unpopular. We expect an invitation to the Good Life to include promises of comfort, stability, acceptance, and status. But when we press in, we discover Jesus’s insight and wisdom— wisdom that’s not of this world. He knows that comfort is momentary, stability is unguaranteed, acceptance is fleeting, and status is temporary. Nothing good in this world lasts long. What we need is not of this world at all. For Jesus, what’s eternal comes through what’s difficult: Brokenness is the way to wholeness. Mourning is the way to happiness. And this week, we’ll discover authenticity is the way to acceptance.

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Before we begin with the Scripture and video, let’s start with an opening question.

OPENING QUESTION > WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS TO BE “REAL” AND “AUTHENTIC”? HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SENSE SOMEBODY IS NOT THEMSELVES, NOT BEING AUTHENTIC, OR JUST TRYING TO GAIN A PERSON’S OR GROUP’S ACCEPTANCE?

READING Each week, we’re reading a portion of Matthew 5 to along with the video teaching. As you read or hear it aloud the first time, simply try to understand what Jesus was teaching, and you may want to jot down a few notes in your Journal or own notebook. > WOULD SOMEONE VOLUNTEER TO READ MATTHEW 5:112 OUT LOUD?

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OPENING PRAYER Let’s take a moment to pray together that this time of study and discussion would be helpful. SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for this study, this gathering, and these people. We have gathered, most importantly, to hear from you. Through your Word and this teaching series, speak a better word to our hearts. Remind us that we don’t find the Good Life by looking for it directly, but by coming to the end of ourselves so that you are all we have left. Amen.

VIDEO Let’s watch this week’s video, and then we’ll discuss.

PLAY WEEK 3: AUTHENTIC TO BE ACCEPTED

CONTENT AND MEANING Let’s start with a few questions about Kyle’s teaching, the video, and Matthew 5:1-12.

> WHEN JESUS SAYS, “BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART,” WHO DO YOU THINK HE HAS IN MIND? > THE PURE IN HEART DON’T LIVE FOR OTHERS AND DON’T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF THEM; THEIRS IS A HIDDEN, INNER PURITY. WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S EASIER TO PRETEND TO FIT IN RATHER THAN BE OUR TRUE SELVES? > KYLE NOTES THAT, IN A WORLD OF SOCIAL MEDIA, WE TEND TO PUT OUT ONLY THE BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES. WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE DO THIS? WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF KYLE’S JOKE, “THE PHARISEES WOULD HAVE LOVED TWITTER”? HOW DO YOU SEE A CONNECTION BETWEEN RELIGION AND PROMOTING OURSELVES? > CONSIDER JEFFERSON BETHKE’S STORY IN THE VIDEO. WHEN HE LOST HIS “FUNCTIONAL GODS”—BASEBALL, A GIRLFRIEND, SCHOOL—HE REALIZED HE WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. CHURCHES CAN DO THIS TOO: WE WORK HARD TO SHOW OFF OUR SPIRITUALITY, KEEP THE LAWS, AND HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER. HOW HAVE YOU SEEN THE CHURCH ENABLE A CULTURE OF RELIGION WITHOUT GRACE?

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MEDITATION AND APPLICATION Now that we have a good understanding of this passage, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s focus on what these truths say for our hearts here and now, and how we can live in light of their truths. > ACCORDING TO JESUS’S BEATITUDES, WE CAN EXPECT HARDSHIP, SADNESS, AND PERSECUTION IN LIFE. INDEED, REJECTION IS A PART OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE. HOW HAVE YOU SEEN REJECTION AND HARDSHIP DEEPEN YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE? > IN THE VIDEO, JEFFERSON SAYS, “I LOOKED AT WHAT CHRISTIANS DID, AND I NEED TO DO THAT IF GOD IS GOING TO ACCEPT ME.” HOW HAVE YOU FELT LIKE YOU NEED TO PERFORM AND BE A GOOD CHRISTIAN TO GET GOD’S APPROVAL?

Kyle writes in The End of Me book: “Fear is the enemy of transparency. We don’t like our flaws, and we don’t expect anybody else to. So we work hard at putting up the most impressive front we can.” (91)

> HOW OR WHEN HAVE YOU NOTICED YOURSELF “PUTTING UP A FRONT”? HOW DID YOU FEEL AFTERWARD? > WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU TODAY TO MOVE

FORWARD IN AUTHENTICITY, FEARING REJECTION BUT VIEWING YOURSELF ENTIRELY THROUGH GOD’S EYES? > GOD WANTS YOU TO BE THE REAL YOU. BUT WE’RE AFRAID OF WHAT GOD AND OTHERS THINK, SO WE HIDE. IN THE VIDEO, WHEN JEFFERSON SAYS WHEN HE FINALLY SHARED HIS STRUGGLES AND SHAME, HE EXPERIENCED PROFOUND ACCEPTANCE. HE SAYS, “YOU CAN BE AUTHENTIC. YOU CAN BE TRANSPARENT.” HOW DOES THIS CHALLENGE AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO SHARE YOUR STRUGGLES AND SINS WITH ONE ANOTHER?

STUDY JOURNAL Before we meet next week, I encourage you to continue in your Journal, working through the next seven days of devotional readings and questions. Over the next week, let’s each do Week Three of the Journal (Days 15-21) and come ready to discuss what we’ve learned next time. Scripture Memory If you are working to memorize this Scripture passage, the verses for this week are Matthew 5:8-10.

PRAYER

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PRAYER SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for the things you have shown us through your Word and your people over the past three weeks. Although we are fearful to let go of our control, our reputation, and our self-sufficiency, we know and trust that you are enough. Enable us by your Spirit to rejoice in our circumstances and seek your face continually. We love you and trust you. In Jesusâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s name: Amen.

EMPTY TO BE FILLED

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.

FOUR

Matthew 5:12

WEEK 4 This week, we are concluding our study called The End of Me. In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches that the Good Life is not the one full of comfort, stability, acceptance, and status. Counterintuitively, Jesus says, it is blessed to be poor. Blessed to mourn. Blessed to be hungry and thirsty. Blessed to be pure and merciful. Blessed even to be rejected and persecuted. In the Beatitudes, everything is upside down. Brokenness is the way to wholeness. Mourning is the way to happiness. Authenticity is the way to acceptance. And emptiness is the way to fullness. Everything is upside down, according to Jesus. He longs to turn your world right-side up. Before we begin with the Scripture and video, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start with an opening question.

the end of me

OPENING QUESTION > WE LOVE UNDERDOGS STORIES—THE WALK-ON THAT MAKES THE TEAM AND SCORES THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN; THE ACTRESS THAT GETS REJECTED DOZENS OF TIMES BEFORE GETTING HER BIG BREAK; THE QUIET, SOFT-SPOKEN KID BECOMING THE PROM KING. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE UNDERDOG STORY FROM A SHOW, MOVIE, OR BOOK? WHY DO YOU RESONATE WITH IT?

READING Each week, we’re reading a portion of Matthew 5 to along with the video teaching. You may want to jot down a few notes in your Journal or own notebook if anything stands out.

> WOULD SOMEONE VOLUNTEER TO READ MATTHEW 5:1-12 OUT LOUD?

the end of me

OPENING PRAYER Let’s take a moment to pray together that this time of study and discussion would be helpful. SAMPLE PRAYER:

VIDEO Let’s watch this week’s video, and then we’ll discuss.

PLAY WEEK 4: EMPTY TO BE FILLED

CONTENT AND MEANING Let’s start with a few questions about Kyle’s teaching, the video, and Matthew 5:1-12.

> KYLE WRITES, “GOD IS A FILLER OF EMPTY SPACES, AND JESUS WAS A LIVING PICTURE OF WHAT THAT MEANS.” (PAGE 114) WHAT DO YOU THINK HE MEANS BY THAT? GIVE A BIBLICAL EXAMPLE IF POSSIBLE. > HAVING STUDIED THE BEATITUDES FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE PEOPLE WHO RECEIVE JESUS’S BLESSINGS? WHO ARE THEY AND WHY ARE THEY BLESSED? > WE LIVE IN A CULTURE OF NEW AND MORE AND BETTER. WE WANT SOMETHING NEW, JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE, AND ALWAYS IN PURSUIT OF AN UPGRADE OR IMPROVEMENT. HOW HAVE YOU SEEN THIS IN YOUR OWN WORLD? > READ THIS QUOTE FROM MOTHER TERESA AND DISCUSS YOUR REACTIONS TO IT.

“The spiritual poverty of the Western world is much greater than the physical poverty of our people in Calcutta. You in the West have millions of people who suffer such terrible loneliness

the end of me

and emptiness…. These people are not hungry in the physical sense, but they are in another way. They know they need something more than money, yet they don’t know what it is. What they are missing really is a living relationship with God.” (End of Me, 123) > JESUS’S FIRST MIRACLE IS TURNING WATER INTO WINE AT A WEDDING (JOHN 2). JESUS LOVES TO FILL WHAT’S EMPTY, AND WHEN HE FILLS IT, HE FILLS IT WITH WHAT’S BEST. HE FILLS OUR LIVES WITH WHAT’S BEST—HIS POWERFUL PRESENCE. HOW DO EMPTINESS AND NEED RELATE TO PURITY OF HEART? > IN THE VIDEO, KEN MANSFIELD WORKED CLOSELY WITH THE BEATLES FOR DECADES AND FOUND ENORMOUS FORTUNE. YET HE REMEMBERS THINKING, “I FEEL TOTALLY EMPTY… I KNEW I NEEDED SOMETHING.” WHY IS IT THAT NO AMOUNT OF SUCCESS, FAME, OR COMFORT CAN SATISFY OUR DEEPEST NEEDS AND LONGINGS?

MEDITATION AND APPLICATION Now that we have a good understanding of this passage, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s focus on what these truths say for our hearts here and now, and how we can live in light of their truths. > WHERE DO YOU FIND YOURSELF WANTING “JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE”? HOW DOES THE MOTHER TERESA QUOTE CHALLENGE, CONVICT, OR INSPIRE YOU? > AS THE PASTOR D.L. MOODY ONCE PUT IT: “GOD SENDS NO ONE AWAY EMPTY EXCEPT THOSE WHO ARE FULL OF THEMSELVES” (THE END OF ME, 131). WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE FOR YOU TO COME TO JESUS EMPTY-HANDED RIGHT NOW?

Consider the following passages of Scripture: “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” -Proverbs 14:12 “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.” -Matthew 16:24-25

the end of me

> HOW DO THESE TWO PASSAGES INVITE YOU TO ACCEPT A SIMPLER, MORE CONTENT LIFE—EMPTYING YOUR LIFE TO BE FILLED BY CHRIST? > IN THE VIDEO, KEN SAYS OF TRYING TO BUILD HIS BUSINESS, “YOU GIVE SO MUCH OF YOURSELF AWAY, YOU’RE NO LONGER THE PERSON YOU WERE WHEN YOU STARTED.” WHEN HE LOST EVERYTHING, HE CAME TO THE END OF HIMSELF. BUT AT THE END OF HIMSELF, HE FOUND CHRIST. HAVE YOU HAD A MOMENT THAT YOU LOST EVERYTHING, FOUND YOURSELF, OR FOUND YOURSELF IN A “BATTLE” WITH THE LORD?

Kyle writes that coming to the end of ourselves is not a once-ina-lifetime challenge but a daily one. “Each day is a new narrow gate. The problem with dying to myself is that it’s so daily. I have to make the choice over and over again. I can live for myself or I can live for Christ, which means picking up my cross.” (204) > WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TODAY—HERE AND NOW—TO PICK UP YOUR CROSS, DIE TO YOURSELF, AND LIVE FOR CHRIST?

STUDY JOURNAL Although this video series concludes tonight, I still encourage you to continue in your Journal, working through the next seven days of devotional readings and questions. Over the next week, letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s each do Week Four of the Journal (Days 22-28) and possibly meet again next week to discuss this last week of the Journal and to celebrate what God has accomplished through this study. Scripture Memory If you are working to memorize this Scripture passage, the verses for this week are Matthew 5:11-12.

the end of me

PRAYER SAMPLE PRAYER:

Father, thank you for bringing life and hope to us who are facing rejection, exclusion, or persecution. We need your presence to endure such hardships. But we pray that we would not be afraid of rejection and hard times. Instead, we pray that in coming to the end of ourselves, we would deeply discover that Jesus is enough. In his name, we pray: Amen.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeremy Linneman Jeremy Linneman, M.A., is teaching pastor of Trinity Community Church in Columbia, Missouri. Prior to planting Trinity, he served as a staff pastor of Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, Kentucky, for seven years. He is the author of Life-Giving Groups: How to Grow Healthy, Multiplying Community Groups, and three other study journals for City on a Hill Studios: Grace is Greater, I Can Only Imagine, and Don't Give Up. His articles and resources are available at jslinneman.com. He and his wife, Jessie, have three sons and spend most of their free time outdoors.