City Weekly March 22, 2018 by Copperfield Publishing

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Are You Ready for Some

By Ray Howze

Utah’s newest pro sports team strives to set a standard for women’s professional soccer.

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY ROYAL TREATMENT

The Beehive’s newest pro sports team aims to set a standard for women’s professional soccer in an up-and-down market. Cover by Derek Carlisle and Sarah Arnoff saraharnoff.com

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SARAH ARNOFF

Cover photography When not backpacking across the American West, Lindon, Utah’s own Arnoff can be seen documenting life’s big and little moments. “There’s a lot of commitment on that field. They were going nonstop,” she says about shadowing the burgeoning Utah Royals FC.

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Guv signs contested Inland Port Authority bill into law. facebook.com/slcweekly

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T M A R C H 8 , 2 0 1 8 | V O L . 3 4 N 0 . 4 1

@SLCWEEKLY @CITYWEEKLY @SLCWEEKLY

Cover story, March 8, “A Tale of Two Chris’”

Fantastic article. Congressman Chris Stewart should give it a read.

JOE BALLENT Via Facebook

GET A DAMN HAIRCUT

How does a guy “retire” from the Air Force after only 14 years? Even his Wiki page says he only “served” in the Air Force. This matters a lot to those who actually survived for the 20 years it takes to get to retirement. It also raises the question of whether a guy more than 2/3 of his way to a lifetime annuity equal to 50 percent of his base pay would voluntarily leave.

MARIDEE HAYCOCK Via CW comments

Straight Dope, March 8, “To Be Blunt”

Great article, shared. Thank you.

CANNABIS NATION Via Facebook

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Not to mention, the study quoted by the Denver Post was paid for the alcohol trade lobbyists.

JAMIE BISCHOF Via Facebook

We know what has happened in Washington and Colorado. It is called research.

SCOTT FRANDSEN Via Facebook

We know it makes the states a shit ton of money.

MICHAEL GATTENBY Via Facebook

Utah voters don’t care about better schools. They think church will teach their kids what they need to know.

JASON OLIVER Via Facebook

We must fight and not allow children to inject even one marijuanas!

BJ FREEMAN Via Facebook

News, March 8, “Long Shots”

I’m one of them. I’m running in Utah’s 2nd District for the U.S. House of Representatives.

@SHIREENGHORBANI

Beer Nerd, March 8, “Navigating India Pale Ales” Yum!

ETHAN LARSEN

Via Twitter

Via Facebook

I totally agree with [Senate candidate Jenny Wilson]. The good old boy network is destroying democracy and the country.

No thanks. I don’t drive a Subaru.

MIKE SCHMAUCH Via Facebook

I don’t want to be represented by someone who has never been middle class, simple as that. The rich are out of touch with the poor, elderly and middle class. Sorry Mitt can’t support you this time …

CATHERINE MATTHEWS Via Facebook

CLINTON HARTLEY Via Facebook

I prefer to navigate around them, not through them.

JARED LEE

Via Facebook I was in India years ago and ordered a pale ale Lassi. I didn’t know at the time that it was pure Ganges water, I was sick for two years.

DAVID CORDYCEPS Via cityweekly.net

Dine review, March 8, Pretty Bird

You people should try some veggies.

LOKESH CHAUHAN Via Facebook

A sandwich had better be pretty damn good to cost more than $10.

CHRIS KETH Via Facebook

Tried it yesterday, so good!

GIGI HOLMES THORSEN Via Facebook

Goddamn your team can write. Seriously, always good. Now I need some chicken.

DANIEL URMANN Via CW comments

We encourage you to join the conversation. Sound off across our social media channels as well as on cityweekly.net for a chance to be featured in this section.

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 5

Contributors CECIL ADAMS, BENJAMIN BENALLY, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, MARYANN JOHANSON, MIKE RIEDEL, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER, LEE ZIMMERMAN

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Publisher JOHN SALTAS

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PRIVATE EY Crying Foul

I haven’t paid attention to anything at all of late, being so preoccupied with all that is right and wrong with the world, my cholesterol and blood pressure, how the newspaper and magazine industry is faring, why it is I’ve gained weight yet people keep saying, “Wow, look how skinny you are” and why it’s a year later and Donald Trump is still president. It’s been a confusing year to be sure. I don’t remember winter. We did have a winter, didn’t we? I used my snow shovel just twice and never cranked up the snow blower. The only true winter images I saw were on the television where I watched stories of how cities like Boston and New York kept getting whacked by some kind of snowball cyclone. I don’t have any love for Boston, so if it gets blasted, whatever. But geez, New York City has to be saved if only for the Yankees and The Pickle Guys’ pickles down on the Lower East Side. Now, those are some good pickles! The kind you want to have in your secret storage or to eat as your last meal if the end of the world is nigh. Speaking of, I’d like my last night on earth to be sitting behind the dugout in Yankee Stadium, a smuggled in Pickle Guys new pickle in one hand, and one of their sour pickles in the other. Should a foul ball come my way, I’d drop neither of them for it. I once touched a foul ball struck by Derek Jeter, aimed dead center on my seat and would have had it if not for my cell phone—a real Sophie’s choice I’d gladly relive. It’s one of my saddest memories; that I cradled my phone, among the most miserable inventions ever, instead of properly cupping my hands and catching a once in a lifetime Jeter foul ball.

It caromed off the head of my cousin sitting next to me, bounced back a few rows then trickled back toward us. I nearly had it again—I can validate the existence of a greater power because God did indeed give me a second chance— when some chubby guy, pushing women and children out of his way, grabbed it and let loose a scream that would have passed a Braveheart audition. Everyone marveled at the portly guy’s good fortune, patted him on the back and begged him to let them touch the ball. It was like the Ark opened or something. Just 100 feet away, Jeter smiled and tapped dirt out of his cleats oblivious to the commotion he’d caused when he swung at, and barely missed, a trailing slider. For another Yankee foul ball, I’d drop my phone, break it even, but I still wouldn’t drop a Pickle Guys pickle. If you want a quality New York-style pickle and don’t want to pay shipping, head up to Feldman’s Deli here in Salt Lake. Mike Feldman knows what he’s doing when it comes to pickles. And guitar and pastrami, too. Just sayin. There’s a fellow I know from Facebook who occasions at Feldman’s. There’s no point in letting you know who he is because he doesn’t use his real name on social media anyway. I only learned it by doing some amateur sleuthing—nowhere near the level of privacy invasion done by Cambridge Analytica, just your basic larger than a loaf of Wonder Bread, smaller than a 1976 Cadillac Eldorado kind of stuff. I became attracted to this guy’s posts because he writes in a most esoteric, thoughtful and poignant way, especially as it relates to current political affairs, and well, just breathing in general. I imagine the latter is due to the many opportunities to have his breathing stopped altogether by an incoming AK-47 round as he developed a particular set of philosophic and

B Y J O H N S A LTA S @johnsaltas

life skills while serving as a combat Marine in Vietnam. As such vets often say, he saw some serious shit. Most Marines did. Among his haunts in Vietnam is a battlefield that we won and abandoned multiple times. Starting in 1966 and through 1969 at least, U.S. Marines fought and died along a cluster of hills known as Mutter’s Ridge. It was a strategic position overlooking enemy supply routes, and brought to life in the book Matterhorn by Karl Marlantes. I’ve read scores of Vietnam books; this is a very good one. Among the Marines traipsing Mutter’s Ridge was Robert Swan Mueller III, currently the head of the Special Council investigating Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election. I’m on a limb here, but it occurs that many people poohpoohing his duties as a nothing burger and the president calling the investigation a “witch hunt” and worse, were never on the receiving end of what Soviet interference really looks like. Mueller was wounded multiple times, possibly by arms supplied or paid for by Russia. My Facebook friend perhaps similar, plus 58,000 dead soldiers more. At the time our leaders said, “better to fight them over there than over here.” OK. Mueller needs to finish his investigation. Talk from anyone otherwise, from Donald Trump on down, especially inclusive of his private Pravda, Fox News, needs to stand down. If nothing’s there, fine, we move on. If there is, fine, too—we move back to a distant spring, reset the clock and get rid of the bastards who have wronged this course of American history. A vote is the same as a bullet, it can change the course of one life or many, a county or a kingdom. The fight is no longer “over there,” it’s here. CW Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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8 | MARCH 22, 2018

CITIZEN REV LT

HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Release the Records

At first, it looks like someone just didn’t want to fork out the $200 for government records. But one case, now before the Utah Supreme Court, is much larger and more significant than that. Appeals on a fee waiver went back and forth so often that at one time, Salt Lake City actually appealed its own decision. All this to keep some public records out of the hands of those people concerned about placing soccer fields in open space near the Jordan River. The Jordan River Restoration Network started asking in 2010 for public records for Salt Lake City’s $22.8-million Regional Athletic Complex. The city “sued us as a calculated strategy to delay and avoid disclosure of the requested records, and stonewall the public, in order to conceal sensitive information about a multimillion dollar boondoggle project”, says the network’s director, Jeff Salt. The Supreme Court will decide, but now in 2018, it looks like the city’s strategy worked.

Nuclear Fallout

In Utah and maybe the nation, it’s all about money. You might have noticed that the Legislature approved a $1.7-million inspection fee break to EnergySolutions, according to The Salt Lake Tribune, which also noted that lawmakers received thousands in campaign contributions from the company. Only the naïve believe ES needs a break—they are pretty much a monopoly. What they do need is a thorough inspection with some frequency. You know, this is a nuclear-waste company—the largest in the nation. It would be nice if the public knew the storage site was safe. While this is not a tax break, the Brookings Institution recently gave Utah high marks for how those work—you know, in the United States of Corporate America.

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Shady Influence

The Salt Lake Tribune might be a shadow of its former self, but once in a while, it gets journalism right. Take the story on the Hatch Center, a bricks-and-mortar homage to the great, not-yet-late, Sen. Orrin Hatch. The Orrin G. Hatch Foundation has already raised $6 million and is aiming at $100 million for a center, which, like the state’s homeless shelters, has yet to be sited. What’s the big deal? Hatch is still in office and donations to a nonprofit do not need to be disclosed. And they aren’t. Can you say “political influence?” You can easily connect the dots. Zions Bank’s president also heads the Hatch Foundation board, and Hatch has had a sudden change of heart about how banks should be taxed. And that’s just one. Some corporations did make public their donations, but mostly under fire. You might ask why the foundation is so hesitant to release its donors’ names. That’s a good question.

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IN ONE WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

GUN CONTROL MARCHES

As the students have made perfectly clear, your elected representatives do not appear likely to act against gun violence. They’ve taken meager and meaningless, perhaps dangerous, steps to arm teachers or maybe look at mental-health issues—but not really. Since Sandy Hook five years ago, there have been 1,576 mass shootings resulting in at least 1,788 dead and 6,333 injured. An Assault Weapons Ban in 2013 went nowhere in Congress. Consequently, students, parents—people—will be taking to the streets in the national March for Our Lives events. Ultimately, the ballot box is the place to make change. West High School, 241 N. 300 West, 385722-4138 (text only), Saturday, March 24, 11 a.m.-1 p.m., bit.ly/2Ig0FZF. Park City, 10 a.m.-noon, Saturday, March 24, bit.ly/2FUJOKk.

ERASING NATIVE AMERICAN VOICES

Join Moroni Benally, co-founder of the Utah League of Native American Voters, as he examines the marginalization of Native Americans in our society. “By applying a pre-determined filter about what it means to be indigenous, modern society caricatures the reality of Native American concerns,” says the community organization Books & Bridges. Benally will speak about the Navajo culture in Indigenous Erasure and the Navajo Kinship System, after which there will be a Q&A session. Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Thursday, March 29, 6:30-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2HCzpmS.

LEGISLATIVE WRAP-UPS

The Utah Legislature is done—at least until an interim session—but don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. The governor has 60 days to approve or veto the hundreds of bills that passed. To find out more, what has happened and what you still can do, attend one of the many Legislative Wrap-ups this year. There’s one from Utah Cultural Alliance that will talk about the impacts on arts, humanities and cultural businesses. And the League of Women Voters will wrap up its legislative year talking about everything from redistricting to SLC’s Northwest Quadrant. UCA: Zephyr Room at Rio Grande, 300 S. Rio Grande St., 801-652-0737, Friday, March 23, 1-2 p.m., $7.33/nonmembers, $4.69/ members, bit.ly/2FEcYkJ. LWV: Girl Scouts of Utah Headquarters, 445 E. 4500 South, Ste. 125, Murray, 801272-8683, Thursday, March 22, 6-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2pgeZZg.

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

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STRAIGHT DOPE Order in the Court

BY CECIL ADAMS

SLUG SIGNORINO

GET YOUR KITTY FIX

What is the significance of the gavel in a courtroom, and how did it originate? —Adams

This is an oddly tricky one you’ve stumbled upon. We’re not too sure where the word gavel comes from, much less the path by which the implement became a symbol of the American judiciary. Among the few things we can safely say here is that, like so many of our foundational mysteries, it probably involves the Masons. It’s not just in courtrooms but at various other formal gatherings where the gavel turns up, including auctions, board meetings, and legislative sessions—notably those of the U.S. Senate, where a gavel opens and closes the proceedings. All the more striking, then, that the academic literature on the subject is so thin: in recent memory, it’s chiefly two articles. The more important for us is a 2001 piece in Massachusetts Legal History entitled “Of Gavels and Maces in the Modern Courts,” by Stephen C. O’Neill, then the curator at the Social Law Library in Boston. An immediate question one might ask on scanning this title: maces? Sure. Maces are ceremonial staffs that stand as symbols of authority in certain of your more solemn official locales, including some American courtrooms. O’Neill plausibly calls maces and gavels “two of the least considered components of the American legal profession.” To those few who care, though, they’re apparently inseparable, as evidenced by our other source, “The Mace and the Gavel: Symbols of Government in America,” published in 1997 by the Smithsonian historian Silvio Bedini. Of the two, it’s only O’Neill who explores where the gavel (maybe) came from. Short answer: he figures it’s the Freemasons. George Washington, Ben Franklin, and many of the country’s other founders were members of this group, a fraternal organization that had taken off in Europe circa 1700, then made the jump across the pond—a way for professional types to pass the time before golf took over. The Masons were big on symbolism and ritual (the tinfoil-hat crowd will be happy to elaborate on this), and, as part of claiming their ancestry in stoneworkers’ guilds of the Middle Ages, they worked various appurtenances of the lowercase-M mason’s trade into their shtick. The gavel began its career, O’Neill tells us, as a setting-maul, a mallet used to knock stones into place; in European Masonic lodges, the working tool became a token of authority granted to the presiding officer. As O’Neill writes, early Americans’ “familiarity with Masonic ritual and forms provided procedures for pre-Revolutionary committee meetings, and [these] were continued during the early republic in both legislative bodies, public ceremonies, and

courtrooms.” The most high-profile of such institutions was, again, the Senate, which adopted a symbolic gavel of its own; the House of Representatives went with a mace. You’ll notice we still haven’t made it to court. Here the best O’Neill can do is that judges’ gavels “probably came into use because of the Senate’s and other early examples.” In other words, our country was set up by guys who generally liked to dress up their affairs with a little Masonic-style pomp, and next thing you know, judges have gavels. O’Neill calls this the “most plausible explanation,” but you can see the material’s a bit thin. As we said up top, even the etymology’s foggy. The use of gavel to refer to the hammer can’t be traced beyond the early19th-century U.S.; in medieval England the word was used for certain kinds of rent or fee, but lexicographers have never managed to conclusively connect the dots. Our other historian, Bedini, remains silent about Masonic influence on the Senate gavel, and on gavelry in general—they must’ve gotten to him. The gavel’s role in the Senate isn’t hugely different than in those old lodge meetings: it’s kept locked in a drawer until the body convenes, when the sergeant-at-arms uncases it and sets it on the rostrum for the presiding officer’s use. What the Senate calls its gavel is actually a handleless ivory block, or “knocker”; at auction houses, O’Neill notes, you’ll find both handled and handleless gavels, so such a thing’s not unheard of. Auctioneering is an example of a profession that really relies on the gavel to get business done, in contrast to the mostly ceremonial function it performs in the legislature. Certainly it’s not the only useless tool ever spotted on Capitol Hill. And even in the courtroom, the gavel mainly just gathers dust—according to a 2011 article in the New York Daily News plenty of judges don’t even bother bringing it out of chambers. Our legal system has court officers to keep things ruly, and the image of the judge banging a gavel and shouting “Order!” is largely a cinematic convention. It’s a dogged one, though: to the periodic annoyance of U.K. judicial experts, gavels will pop up in British-made movies and TV shows portraying domestic legal proceedings. What’s the gripe? They don’t use the gavel in British courts; they never have. n

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PUBLIC ART

Left to right: Madazon Can-Can, Myzchief Du Voodoo, Kirsten Caron, Delta Rae Dixon, Havoq Luscivia, Dominique Storni, Phaedra Phoenix, Harpy L’amour and Suckerpunch Sally.

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS comments@cityweekly.net @dylantheharris

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 11

lindfolded and muzzled, nine women in nude-colored lingerie also wore brilliant lipstick, but the motorists cruising down State Street on March 10 wouldn’t have known it by looking at them. That’s because each had a piece of tape covering their mouths—a symbol of the powers-that-be silencing femininity. It was a photoshoot organized by members of the Utah Vaudeville and Burlesque Collective in front of the Exotic Kitty gentlemen’s club, an establishment whose outside wall has been a point of contention for South Salt Lake the last few months. The controversy boiled over when renowned muralist Shae Petersen, who was hired to paint a piece on the strip club’s southern wall, was told by city officials it would violate the city’s rigid sign ordinance. To some though, this decision stunk of puritanical censorship and gave rise to the question of whether the city was merely attempting to hide the reality that a strip club existed within its boundaries. Frustrated by the city’s capricious roadblocks, Peterson posted a pointed mockup of a wall that depicted women statues with

as Thursday night for burlesqueoke (a portmanteau of burlesque and karaoke). “We need to raise awareness on the power the female figure has,” Lindgren says. “And that we’re allowed to speak with our bodies. Our bodies are our art. Our bodies are not scary, and we need to be seen.” Petersen, who paints under the name SRIL, originally proposed a mural on the side of the strip club that prominently featured an image of a panther and a sultry woman in the background. He was willing to change the design, however, if the city insisted. Instead, he was told that he couldn’t paint any picture because a city ordinance requires signs for sexually oriented businesses to include only lettering. Petersen and the Exotic Kitty countered that the mural wasn’t a sign for the business, and all sides tried to find an amicable solution. Publicly, South Salt Lake has been conspicuously quiet, declining to respond to reporters’ requests for comment. Petersen has indicated he will consider legal avenues if it comes to that. More recently, Petersen was told that he had to redesign his mural to fit within the city’s color guidelines. This requirement, he noted, was not explained to him before he painted previous murals in the city. “They requested I submit a new design with no guidelines as to what they wanted changed, and also stated there is a citywide restriction on mural colors requiring what they call ‘neutral earth tones’ on all murals,” he writes via email. “Although for some reason that color guide doesn’t seem to apply to any mural but this one.” It’s not clear how the color rule will affect the city-sanctioned mural festival scheduled later this spring. CW

Row between South Salt Lake and muralist gets the burlesque treatment.

makeup. “Every single person there came as themselves,” Lindgren says. “We had curvy girls, and short girls, and tall girls and a transgender woman. … They came exactly as they are.” In one photo, the women have their backs turned, each resting her hand on the shoulder of the person in front. Their hair, colored various hues, resembled the rainbow. During the shoot, Lindgren says, drivers slowed their cars to a crawl—some even stopping in the road. The models were catcalled and leered at until the cars were shooed away. As the shoot progressed, the women partially removed the tape from their mouths, revealing dark red and blue shades. Lindgren believes the city’s decision to stall the mural is rooted in a fear of nudity and the human figure. And although burlesque and stripping are different, Lindgren says they share common DNA. Burlesque is a time-honored form of entertainment, but one that is heavily regulated in Utah. Precisely, performers must keep at least three quarters of their breasts and butts covered, for example. Keeping with those guidelines, Lindgren says she and the other models were careful the photoshoot didn’t cross into illegal territory. “Even women in a swimming pool can get away with less than we can at a public venue,” she says. “And the line between sexually oriented businesses and performance art is not clear in this state.” If performers don’t toe that line carefully, they risk shutting down venues, receiving fines or, worst-case scenario, being charged with a sexual crime and having their names added to a sex offender registry. Lindgren emphasizes that she and others are vigilant in obeying the laws. She preaches the burlesque gospel at Prohibition on Friday or Saturday nights, as well

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Gagged and Bound

blindfolds covering their eyes. The muralist’s plight resonated with Madison Lindgren, a burlesque performer, activist and teacher who goes by the stage name Madazon Can-Can. “This is obvious censorship—an obvious violation of freedom of expression,” she says. A member of the Utah Vaudeville and Burlesque Collective, Lindgren issued a call to other women in the group and asked whether a few would be interested in participating in a photo shoot based on Petersen’s posted image. She was careful to ensure that the models were comfortable sharing their photos online. “Being in this industry, consent is huge and protection of privacy is huge as well,” she says. As her excitement grew, Lindgren spitballed ideas with other female artists. One friend suggested hiding bright lipstick underneath the sticky tape. “Then, when you’re peeling off the tape, you can see the lipstick on the back side and then your lips stand out really strongly,” Lindgren says. UVBC asked the strip club’s owner if they could shoot photographs on his property. The protest centers on ideas of feminism and censorship and beauty. An initial photo had the women donning lingerie, bras and underwear or leotards, and standing with their backs to the wall blindfolded with tape across their mouths with their hands in the air. “We stood in front of the Exotic Kitty entrance with our hands up, like we were being arrested, because to do what we want to do is seen as something akin to a crime,” Lindgren says. The models did another shot flipping off the camera, and a third holding hands in solidarity. The project also aimed to challenge traditional limits of beauty and sensuality. Other than lipstick, they applied very little

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perhaps, something sustainable in the up-anddown world of women’s professional soccer. Everything is a first for the club—from the locker rooms, jerseys and players to the Herriman facility that also houses the minor league Real Monarchs and Real Salt Lake Academy High School. City Weekly spent some time with the team during its preseason camp, before its maiden season gets underway on Saturday, March 24, to catch a glimpse of what it’s like getting a new franchise off the ground.

The NWSL already hit a milestone in 2016. That year, the league entered its fourth season—an unprecedented feat for top-tier women’s professional soccer in the U.S. The two previous professional leagues—the Women’s United Soccer Association and Women’s Professional Soccer—folded following their third seasons because of overspending and infrastructure problems, according to a report in The Oregonian. Now entering its sixth season, the NWSL seems like it might be around to stay, something that hasn’t happened without casualties. The Royals join the league one season after two franchises—FC Kansas City and the Boston Breakers—ceased operations in 2017. Following a similar model that has helped other franchises, Real Salt Lake owner Dell Loy Hansen started the club as a partner with RSL. Like the men’s team, the Royals will play at Rio Tinto Stadium and use the same practice facilities. However, Hansen has added a few wrinkles of his own he hopes will help the players and the franchise succeed. Many of the players will live in apartments in Sandy owned and paid for by Hansen. In addition, a local dealership donated six cars for the team to share. Players also received refillable gas cards. By having living and transportation expenses covered, Hansen is banking on the chance that making the players’ lives easier in general will enable them to focus more on their careers. Rebecca Moros, most recently with now defunct FC Kansas City, says those kind of amenities will go a long way toward the club’s success.

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The snow day marked the first practice of preseason camp for the Utah Royals FC, the latest member of the Chicago-headquartered National Women’s Soccer League. Partly because of the cold and snow, the team opened its camp at the indoor location a week before Real Salt Lake brass and Major League Soccer Commissioner Don Garber visited to officially unveil the place. On this day, a group of more than two dozen women were working to build something new. Something different and

A NEW MODEL

he smell of fresh paint and warning beeps from construction vehicles fill the air as several women around the corner lie on their backs stretching. Nearby, workers raise and lower construction lifts as they add some finishing touches to the building’s interior walls. Orange cones block a set of stairs. A row of lights on the far end of the field isn’t operational yet, either. Or maybe it was—but not on this particular day. “I need to go find out why they’re not plugged in,” a staff member tells others. This beehive of activity was centered at a brand-new, multi-million dollar soccer training center at the southern end of Salt Lake County. Nearly a foot of snow had fallen the previous February night around the valley. Thanks to the indoor facility, though, kinks and all, members of Utah’s newest professional team were getting to know each other out of the elements.

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Utah’s newest pro sports team strives to set a standard for women’s professional soccer in an up-and-down market.

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A ROYAL DEVELOPMENT

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14 | MARCH 22, 2018

“The product here is going to be different than anywhere else. It will be neat to sort of challenge Portland for the best environment.” —Rebecca Moros “I think this is an entrepreneurial endeavor, and I think you need people who are caught with a fire,” says Moros, who has been with professional teams around the country in some form since 2006. “I don’t think anybody has been successful going sort of half-steam into an endeavor like that … This club has that entrepreneurial spirit—it has that willingness to turn over every stone … and people are creative and looking for solutions to things.” In general, the salaries for players in the NWSL are far below those on the men’s side in Major League Soccer. The pay ceiling per player is around $40,000. Some players in the MLS, meanwhile, make millions. Only a handful of stars in the NWSL, Alex Morgan for example, rake in the top dollars. It’s that kind of disparity that made headlines following the U.S. Women’s National Team World Cup championship in 2015 that included calls for equal pay. While the NWSL might be far from pay equity, having transportation and living costs covered are one way Hansen says will help the sustain the team. “I’ve always been a true, true believer in equal rights, equal pay, equal respect,” Hansen says in a video interview shared on the team’s Twitter page. “When we took this challenge on, the RSL men and the Royals women, in my mind, are absolutely equal and given equal treatment, equal field and equal respect. “While I don’t control the salary cap, I can do everything up to that to make sure they know we’ve done everything possible to create that equality.” One model of success is the NWSL’s team in Portland—the Portland Thorns FC. In 2017, the club drew an average of 17,653 fans—more than 15 NBA teams, 13 NHL teams and one MLB team, according to The New York Times. On average, the league attracted 5,061 people per game during last season. Hansen told The Salt Lake Tribune he expects the Royals to have around 12,000 fans per game. Another good sign for the Royals could be in Portland’s sports scene. The city has just one major professional franchise, the NBA’s Portland Trailblazers, to go along with its MLS squad, the Portland Timbers. Salt Lake City has the NBA’s Utah Jazz and RSL. The Thorns, like the Royals, are also associated with the MLS team. “We get treated as equals to the Timbers,” Thorns Captain Christine Sinclair told The New York Times. “I don’t think many female athletes can say that. I wish every player was able to experience this day in and day out—world-class training facilities and an organization that makes sure everything we could ever want, we have.” Locally, that sentiment has permeated. “You feel so appreciated here,” declares Royals player Gunnhildur Yrsa Jónsdóttir.

Gunnhildur Yrsa Jónsdóttir

“They’ve taken it to such a professional level, which I’ve never been a part of anything like this, so I know I will put the extra work on the field to show my appreciation to everything [Hansen’s] done for us.” Becky Sauerbrunn, a popular national team player, felt the same after the first practice. “It was world class,” Sauerbrunn says. “I have played in a lot of places and I haven’t seen locker rooms that look like that, and it’s got everything we could possible need … there’s really no excuse, so we should perform well because we have all these resources available.” If the Royals can match the two-time NWSL champion Thorns, packed bleachers and a rowdy atmosphere might well follow. “The product here is going to be different than what it is from anywhere else,” Moros says. “It will be neat to sort of challenge Portland for the best environment and fans every week. “If we can compete with them and give them a run for their money, it would be super awesome.”

BREAKING THE TURF ICE

The team started its first practice with a few laughs, jumping on each other’s backs. No better way to get to know each other quickly than invading another player’s personal space, right? To break the ice, Coach Laura Harvey had the players stand in a circle and pass a soccer ball before finding a partner to jump on. Silly exercises like that, Harvey says, are meant to get everyone familiar with each other. With only a month before the team’s first game, the players need to get comfortable fast, she adds. “It’s just a stupid game I tend to do with teams I work with,” she says, chuckling a bit after the team’s first practice. “It’s light-hearted, a bit of fun, the girls have been around each other a bit now, but just to break the ice pretty much on the field is what I use it for.” While the Royals are new to the league, the players aren’t entirely unfamiliar with each other. A number of players came over from the Kansas City and Boston clubs. In a league with only nine teams, player familiarity is more common than in larger organizations. The Royals’ roster is also dotted with well-known names such as Sauerbrunn, Amy Rodriguez, and Kelly O’Hara, all of whom have played with the U.S. Women’s National Team. Along with Jónsdóttir, Harvey who hails from the U.K. and Australia native Katrina Gorry bring with them an international flare.

MARCH 22, 2018 | 15

Following the U.S. Women’s National Team’s World Cup victory in 1999, the Women’s United Soccer Association was started with hopes of capitalizing on a potential market for women’s professional soccer. Three years later, it folded. Although it lacked in longterm success, it at least marked a significant step in growing the women’s game. On the men’s side, RSL started playing in 2005. It’s growth was validation for many regarding the enthusiasm for men’s soccer in Utah. The women’s game, though, still had catching up to do.

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SUPER EXCITED

drills, she was noticeably one of the fastest on the field. She was also the one taking the shots. During a 3-on-3 drill, Jónsdóttir dribbled to the right and drilled a shot past the goalie in the left corner. Next shot: goal. Third shot: off the crossbar. She let out a loud groan after the near miss. For anyone watching, the moment was a sign she will likely make headlines come game days. Her spot on the Royals is her first stint stateside after playing for a number of clubs overseas as well as Iceland’s national team. “I’ve been playing in Europe and in Iceland and this is like a whole other situation, it’s been wonderful” Jónsdóttir says. “They [ownership] make us feel right at home from the start and what Dell Loy has put into this is amazing … it’s great to be a part of something like this.” Jónsdóttir’s play has also rubbed off on younger players such as BYU graduate and Royals draft pick Taylor Isom. “She’s amazing and there’s a lot of amazing players who have been in the league for a long time so I’m just trying to soak in what they’re doing and try to emulate what they’re doing on and off the field,” Isom says. “On the pitch, they’re doing things that I’m like, ‘Oh, I probably should be doing that, too,’ and just try to follow their examples because obviously they’re successful at what they’re doing.” The team finally moved to its outdoor facility in Sandy a few weeks into camp. The team was about to embark on its week-long trip to Southern California to practice and scrimmage against UCLA—a trip Harvey expects will build the team’s camaraderie on and off the field. “Ultimately, we don’t need to be best friends, but we need to respect each other when we’re around the field and know what each other’s job is,” Harvey says. “I’m a big believer that if you can get that right, then you have a good chance of being successful.” However, by the time final cuts came March 19, Isom was not included in the 24-player roster.

During practice, Harvey is hard to miss. Her British accent stands apart from Utah’s, let’s say, less-colorful dialect. And during drills, Harvey is sometimes right in the middle, coaching players on positioning. Her coaching career bodes well for the Royals. She was hired in November after coaching the Seattle Reign since its inaugural 2013 season. The following year, she was named the league’s Coach of the Year and lead the team to two straight runner-up finishes. She stepped down as the Reign’s coach and general manager 20 days before being named to the Royals’ top position. “Visiting with Dell Loy Hansen, [general manager] Craig Waibel, [RSL coach] Mike Petke and others and having the chance to see their vision for the club locally and the sport nationally and internationally, it was impossible not to get excited about what RSL looks to do for women’s soccer,” Harvey said in a video posted on the team’s website shortly after she was hired. Harvey, though, aims to put her own stamp on the team. Some players were called away for two weeks for national team duties in early March, which made establishing the team’s identity difficult at times. Regardless, she has the team spend as much time together as possible, emphasizing a possession-oriented style. “I’ve always said I want my teams to be hard to beat, both with and without the ball,” Harvey tells City Weekly. “When we don’t have it, we’ve got to work hard to get it and when we have it, we’ve got to make sure the opposition works really hard to win it back off us. We need to be good on both sides of the ball.” While all-business during practice, Harvey occasionally has some fun with the players afterward. Just don’t call her “coach.” “Hey, what do you guys call me?” she asks some nearby players following one practice. “Harvs,” one player responds. “Harvey,” says another. Finally, one player shouts “gaffa,” and chuckles a bit. The term, a British one spelled “gaffer,” is a colloquial word for “boss” or “old man.” “If they call me ‘coach,’ I’ll punch ’em in the head,” Harvey jokes. Preseason camp has featured all types of players trying to make the team—some like Jónsdóttir and the U.S. Women’s National Team players are a given to make the cut. But that didn’t stop them from showing coaches why they were brought in initially. At the end of the first week of preseason camp, Jónsdóttir was still hustling. During

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Coach Laura Harvey

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More than a dozen years later, Utah residents are finally getting a chance to see that the women’s game is here to stay at the professional level. Buzz for the team isn’t hard to find, either. As of mid-March, more than 4,000 season tickets have been sold, according to the team, up from the 1,000 sold in the two weeks following the team’s formation. During one recent practice, Zoe Murphy, 14, stood on the sidelines with her mom, Cindy, decked out in a new Royals jersey and scarf. Zoe, who plays soccer and will enter high school later this year, says she and her friends are “super excited” about the Royals. “I just started yelling and screaming,” Zoe says about when she first heard the team was coming. “Coming here [to practice], I’m so happy to see the team.” Mom Cindy says her family has already purchased season tickets. They also planned to meet the team ahead of RSL’s home opener on March 10. She says she’s happy girls such as her daughter now have local female athletes to look up to. “Being a female, it’s more fun watching women play than men,” she says. The idea rings true for Rudy Shenk. He’s been the head coach for the East High School girls soccer team for 11 years. The team is usually in the mix for a state title each year and often has girls receiving scholarship offers at schools around the western U.S., including Gonzaga, the University of Utah and BYU. “The only option before, was to go to a college game or to go watch RSL,” Shenk says. “They’d rather watch women play than men—and I can’t blame them.” Shenk says girls soccer is “probably easily the No. 1 girls team sport” in the state. The chance girls coming through the program can see a path to the professional level in their own city will go a long way to the women’s game’s development. He says freshman girls are now coming into high school who can immediately play on the varsity level, something that wasn’t as prevalent even a decade ago. “Girls are just getting better and better,” Shenk says. “When you go watch the caliber of a D-1 college team compared to even 10 years ago, you have more, really good players around now.” Standing outside of practice, Cindy Murphy points out it’s more realistic to relate to the players as well, especially when it comes to topics like body image and self-confidence. She says it’s a more relatable example for young girls compared to supermodels and glamorous Hollywood stars. “They set a really good example for girls,” Murphy says about the players. “They can’t have issues like bulimia [and] anorexia—they really have to be setting a good example.”

Zoe says she looks up to Royals players Mandy Ladish and EJ Proctor, another draft pick who didn’t make the final roster, to name a few. She even knows Annie Hawkins. During preseason camp, Hawkins, who’s been a 10-year mainstay with the RSL-sponsored pro-am Real Salt Lake Women, has played on the practice team for the Royals. Despite not finding herself on an NWSL roster, Hawkins has had about as good of a career in women’s soccer as many would hope for. The Royals, she says, is what she and others in women’s soccer in the state have been trying to build. Hawkins also doesn’t make her living as a soccer player. She works full time in a marketing position. Thanks to the ability to work from home, though, Hawkins is able to balance that time while still pursuing her passion on the soccer field. “I was graduating college in ’05 and just from then, it’s been so amazing to see academies started, there’s futsal courts everywhere that Real Salt Lake has funded, there’s this amazing facility and there’s a lot more teams—semi-pro, professional—so that the youth players can come through and develop,” she says. “We definitely didn’t have that when I was growing up.” Hawkins was invited to camp after attending the team’s open tryouts in February. By March, she was no longer on the preseason roster, but might be invited back for future opportunities. The Royals don’t play their first game at Rio Tinto Stadium until April 14. The team has its first two games on the road against the Orlando Pride and Houston Dash. Royals games will be on television as well as streamed through the KSL app. Some games will also be picked up on the Lifetime network, which broadcasts its NWSL Game of the Week. The Royals have just about everything set up for them to be successful as well as thousands of young girls and others looking up to them. So, no pressure. “It’s kind of an amazing feeling being a soccer player and a role model and I know I didn’t have very many female role models as a little kid,” Moros says. “To have somebody you could really want to be is a different feeling … the game has come a long way and there’s a lot of people that have put in a lot of hard work for decades.” And in 2018, women’s soccer in Utah has as much momentum as it’s had in, well, just about ever. Hansen agrees. “I think these women, because of who they are and the respect they’re given,” he says, “will be better athletes because they have that self image that ‘I am deserving and I will be what I deserve to be.’” CW

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18 | MARCH 22, 2018

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, MARCH 22-28, 2018

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THE ORCHARD FILMS

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TIANYU CULTURE

ESSENTIALS

the

THURSDAY 3/22

FRIDAY 3/23

Salt Lake City resident Kim Peek, an autistic savant, provided the inspiration for Barry Morrow’s Oscar-winning screenplay for the 1988 film Rain Man. But while Peek died in 2009, he continues to provide inspiration as the namesake for the Utah Film Center’s annual award to films and individuals in the filmmaking community working to shift the perception of people with disabilities. Following in the footsteps of previous winners including Carrie Fisher, Temple Grandin and Roger Ross Williams’ documentary Life, Animated, the 2018 Peek Award goes to the documentary Dina and its directors, Antonio Santini and Dan Sickles. Winner of the U.S. Documentary Grand Jury Prize at the 2017 Sundance Film Festival, Dina follows Philadelphia area residents Dina Buno and Scott Levin—both people on the autism spectrum—in the weeks leading up to and immediately following their wedding. The unconventional romantic story explores the unique dynamics of their relationship, as well as Dina’s history as a survivor of violence and tragedy, as they try to define happiness on their own terms. One of the best films of any kind of 2017, Dina is being screened for attendees as part of the Peek Award ceremony, presented by Barry Morrow—who permanently loaned his Rain Man Oscar statuette to Salt Lake City—to Santini and Sickles. The co-directors and the film’s subject, Dina Buno, also participate in a post-film conversation and audience Q&A, moderated by KUED Channel 7’s Mary Dickson. (Scott Renshaw) Peek Award Screening: Dina @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-7467000, March 22, 7 p.m., free, presented with open captions, utahfilmcenter.org

Spring is coming to Utah, and with it, the visiting Festival of Colors, a global gathering filled with mirth, merriment and vibrant sights and sounds. Consider it India’s version of a street party, kind of like Mardi Gras but without the alcoholic impairment and questionable behavior. It is instead an opportunity for young and old to join together, celebrate and socialize, while tossing their worries to the wind, bidding goodbye to winter and welcoming a change of season. In other words, it’s time to chill without the chill. Instead of donning coats and jackets as we have for the past few months, participants douse themselves, and each other, with colored (and safe) cornstarch and romp through the festival’s decorative grounds. It’s a stunning sight—all of it attuned to krishna consciousness—and with music provided by an array of national, international and local musicians. There’s also dancing, yoga, vegetarian cuisine, mantras, and even a bit of Bollywood. It’s an ideal combination of pure bliss and abandon. “We repackaged this traditional Indian Festival to bring its spirit and joy to the global community,” festival organizer Caru Das says. It is, he claims, the “world’s happiest transformational event.” As if to prove the point, free hugs are included with the price of admission. That’s what we would call squeezing in extra value. (Lee Zimmerman) Holi Festival of Colors @ Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple, 311 West 8500 South, Spanish Fork, March 24, 10a.m.-5 p.m.; March 25, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., $6, children 12 and under free, utahkrishnas.org

“Just because you don’t remember a place doesn’t mean it’s not in you.” These crucial words form the backbone of Islandborn, the new book by Junot Díaz, the Pulitzer Prizewinning author best known for The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. But while the new work also deals with a Dominican-American as its main character, it marks something of a departure for Díaz, in that it’s his first book for children. That quote is spoken by the abuela (grandmother) of a young girl named Lola, who emigrated to America with her family from the Dominican Republic at such a young age that she has no memory of it. When asked by her teacher to draw pictures of her family homeland, she draws on the stories of her family as a way to be transported back to island she was born on. In an interview with National Public Radio, Díaz described Lola as “an immigrant who came over so young,” but is “surrounded by a community that talks endlessly about the island.” Diaz explores the complicated history of the Dominican Republic through a journey of self-discovery for Lola about her heritage. The book is illustrated in mural-like manner, and features the work of Park City resident Leo Espinosa, an award-winning-illustrator and designer from Bogotá, Colombia. Espinosa has worked at the Rhode Island School of Design, and has spoken at venues including our own Leonardo museum. The King’s English Bookshop offers family ticket packages which includes a copy of Islandborn and general admission for seating up to four people. (Benjamin Benally) Junot Díaz and Leo Espinosa @ Larimer Auditorium at Rowland Hall Upper School, 843 S. Lincoln St., 801-924-2960, Mar. 23, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

Too often, Americans relegate their interest in cultures not their own to an easily compartmentalized time of year: wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day, celebrating Mexican heritage on Cinco de Mayo, contemplating African-American contributions during Black History Month, a downtown Greek Festival in September, etc. February marked the Lunar New Year, an occasion for many non-Asians to dabble in Asian cultures, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only time to explore the rich, expansive history and present-day wonders of China. Beginning March 23, the Utah State Fairpark hosts Dragon Lights, a unique touring experience celebrating Chinese culture. You might think you know what a cultural heritage festival entails, and indeed this event does feature the requisite food, demonstrations of handicrafts like iron wire weaving and sugar painting, family-friendly activities and more. But the big draw is the inclusion of 39 custom-made illuminated displays—pandas, umbrellas, fanciful gardens, undersea creatures, swans and even massive dragons—on the festival grounds, created by artisans from Zigong, Sichuan in China, bringing an ancient art to spectacular life. Once you’ve had a chance to experience these impressive creations, stick around for nightly stage performances demonstrating unique arts like vase balancing, juggling, platespinning, Chinese yo-yo and much more, all included in the base admission cost. Get a great head start on your spring and summer outdoor events season with this rain-or-shine presentation, and never let it be said that you let a calendar dictate your cultural curiosity. (SR) Dragon Lights @ Utah State Fairpark, 155 N. 1000 West, March 23-May 6, 5:3010 p.m. daily, $12-$50, dragonlightsslc.com

Peek Award Screening: Dina

Holi Festival of Colors

Junot Díaz: Islandborn

Dragon Lights

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Email resumes to Jennifer Van Grevenhof jennifer@copperfieldmedia.com

ex-skier Jamie Crane-Mauzy transitions to advocacy podcasting. BY RACHELLE FERNANDEZ comments@cityweekly.net

aking up before sunrise and venturing out into fresh powder to train in freezing temperatures might not sound like much fun. But a few years ago, that was just another day in the life of Jamie Crane-Mauzy, the first female skier to land a double backflip in a women’s ski slope-style competition. That was before a traumatic brain injury (TBI) changed her life, and propelled her in a new direction. Now retired from skiing, the 25-year-old college student has found a new passion: discovering another way to push herself to the limit in the form of a talk show. She interviews advocates like Army vet Josh Hansen of Continue Mission on her podcast Life Gets MoCrazy live from her Park City home. “I don’t get super nervous [about doing the show]; I get really excited,” Crane-Mauzy says in front of a laptop emblazoned with stickers, as she shuffles papers. “I’ve competed, and it’s a similar type of feeling with my talk show.” The podcast is run by Brain Injury Radio on blogtalkradio.com, and originally was aimed at other survivors of TBI. Although the podcast is centered around TBI, CraneMauzy welcomes other stories of perseverance: stroke survivors, representatives from the National Ability Center and concussion-awareness advocates. “The goal is for it [the show] to seem like we are having a coffee together,” Crane-Mauzy says as she explains her laid-back approach. “The ‘cup of coffee’ style brings out more interesting information.” Life wasn’t always this bright for the podcast host; her positivity comes from a dark place. On April 11, 2015, during the World Tour Finals in Whistler, Canada, Crane-Mauzy pushed herself for that coveted spot on the podium. On the first jump, she landed incorrectly while attempting an off-axis double backflip. Her injury was so severe that she had to be airlifted from the ski resort. The air crew, certain she wouldn’t make it to the hospital alive, started to fill out a “fatality report.” After eight days in a coma, Crane-Mauzy regained consciousness. But the blow to her head was so severe, it injured her brain stem leading to temporary paralysis on her right side. “There was one doctor when I was leaving Canada [back to IHC Murray

RACHELLE FERNANDEZ

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20 | MARCH 22, 2018

Start the year with a new

for treatment] who said, ‘She never will work independently, and she will never live independently.’ And I always say this as a joke now,” she continues. “‘They said I’ll never be normal, but the only thing they were right about was that I never had a ‘normal’ to get back to.” Armed with the love and support of her family, Crane-Mauzy gained strength little by little. Doctors, caregivers and CraneMauzy’s mother knew the battle was uphill, as TBI survivors often experience severe depression. Research in the American Journal of Public Health affirms that those who sustain TBIs are at an increased risk for suicidal ideation. “If you hit your head, you get depressed,” Crane-Mauzy says. “When I was recovering, one of the big things they would focus on is what to do if I became depressed. They would say, ‘Find things that work.’ So, if I become sad, I go turn on Netflix and watch Friends or Orange Is The New Black—just a show that makes me happy. I was taught how to deal with those bad days.” Meanwhile, the Life Gets MoCrazy podcast acts as the inspirational spark plug for Brain Injury Radio, and gives a voice to those who have taken a devastating event in their life and used it as a tool of empowerment. “I don’t really want to interview someone just because they had a brain injury,” Crane-Mauzy says. “I want to interview people who are doing exciting things in their life.” The podcast explores what it’s like living with a TBI, what family members can ex-

Podcaster Jamie Crane-Mauzy

pect, resources for caregivers and helmet advocacy. Crane-Mauzy was brought onto Brain Injury Radio when Donna O’Donnell Figurski asked her and her mother (who adamantly goes by “Fruit”) to speak on last summer’s show sbout TBIs and their effect on families. Therapy has had an enormous role in Crane-Mauzy’s recovery, but she views her show as much for others as for herself. “In a way, it might be therapeutic recovery, because everything that I do in life is therapeutic recovery,” she says. “But in another way, it’s like a gift to me that I can give … to other people. I have wanted to do that my whole life, and now I have a platform.” Crane-Mauzy’s new-found passion has led her to pursue a communication degree at Westminster College. It’s hard to believe that in three years she went from world-class athlete to knocking on death’s door to student, and to podcast host. While she once lived for the sound of fresh snow crunching under her ski boots, Jamie Crane-Mauzy has found a new mountain to conquer. “I’m connecting with people I never would have,” she says. “It’s beginning to open up different things.” CW

LIFE GETS MOCRAZY

Every second and fourth Sunday 6:30 p.m. blogtalkradio.com/braininjuryradio

moreESSENTIALS

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Artist Jake Gilson showcases works employing everything from graphite and oil pastels to wax and gunpowder for his minimalist works in Ripening at “A” Gallery (1321 S. 2100 East, agalleryonline.com), through April 7.

PERFORMANCE

THEATER

Junot Díaz: Islandborn Rowland Hall-St. Mark’s, 843 S. Lincoln St., March 23, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com (see p. 18) Roma Downey: Box of Butterflies First Baptist Church, 777 S. 1300 East, March 23, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Debby Turkington: The Story of Chakadog & His Human The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, March 24, 11 a.m., kingsenglish.com Matthew Reinhart: DisneyPixar: A Pop-Up Celebration Provo Library, 550 N. University Ave., Provo, March 27, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Rio Grande Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through April 21, Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org

MARCH 22, 2018 | 21

Salt Lake Symphonic Winds Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, March 27, 7:30 p.m., slsw.org American Expressions Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, March 24, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Utah Symphony: Audra McDonald Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, March 23-24, 7:30 p.m., utahsymphony.org

AUTHOR APPEARANCES

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CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

LITERATURE

University of Utah Children’s Dance Theatre: The Magic Lake Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, March 23, 7:30 p.m.; March 24, 2 p.m., artsaltlake.org

Carlos Mencia Wiseguys West Jordan 3763 W. Center Park Drive, March 22-24, times vary, 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Help the Animals: An Improv Benefit Show Sugar Space, 132 S. 800 West, 9 p.m., crowdsourcedlive.com/shows Franco Escamilla Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, March 24, 6:30 & 10 p.m., artsaltlake.org Front Row Film Roast: The Terminator Brewvies Cinema Pub, 677 S. 200 West, March 22, 10 p.m., brewvies.com Lachlan Patterson Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, March 23-24, 7 & 9:30 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Ken Jeong Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, March 28, 7 & 9:30 p.m., 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com Shawn Paulsen Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., March 23-24, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

DANCE

COMEDY & IMPROV

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame Hale Center Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through March 31, dates and time vary, hct.org Disney’s The Little Mermaid CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, through March 24, Monday-Saturday, times vary, centerpointtheatre.com Footloose Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, through April 1, dates and times vary, parkcityshows.com How to Date a Coloratura Thorley Recital Hall, 351 W. University Blvd., Cedar City, 435-8658667, through March 24, 7:30 p.m., suu.edu The Lion King Eccles Theater, 131 Main, March 23-April 16, dates and times vary, broadway-at-the-eccles.com The Little Mermaid Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 500 North, Orem, through April 14, dates and times vary, halecenter.org Schoolhouse Rock Live! Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, March 23-24, times vary, tickets.utah.edu Straight Sorenson Unity Center, 1383 S. 900 West, 801-535-6533, through March 25, times and dates vary, utahrep.org A View from the Bridge The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, through April 7, dates and times vary, grandtheatrecompany.com

NOVA Chamber Music: Fry Street Quartet Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, March 25, 3 p.m., novaslc.org

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22 | MARCH 22, 2018

moreESSENTIALS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Dragon Lights SLC Utah State Fairpark, 155 N. 1000 West, March 23-May 6, dragonlightsslc.com (see p. 18) Chocolate & Cheese Festival Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, March 24-25, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., nhmu.utah.edu Holi Festival of Colors 2018 Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple, 311 W. 8500 South, Spanish Fork, 801-798-3559, March 24-25, times vary, utahkrishnas.com (see p. 18) Labeled Film Festival The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, March 28-30, labeledfilmfestival.org

TALKS & LECTURES

Shane Koyczan George S. & Dolores Dore Eccles Center Theater, 1750 Kearns Blvd., March 24, 7:30 p.m., parkcityinstitute.org Patrick Mullen: The Art of the Exit Westminster College Gore Auditorium, 1840 S. 1300 East, March 28, 6:30 p.m., westminstercollege.edu

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Banyan Fierer: Seeing Unseen Art Access II Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, No. 125, through April 13, accessart.org Bob Hope: An American Treasure Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, through April 28, culturalcelebration.org Cory Dumont: Artwork Chapman Branch Library, 577 S. 900 West, through April 26, times vary, slcpl.org Curtis Olson J GO Gallery, 408 Main, Park City, through March 29, jgogallery.com Desire Lines UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 26, utahmoca.org Earl Gravy: Home Bodies, Away Teams UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 13, utahmoca.org Elizabeth M. Claffey: Matrilinear Granary Art Center, 86 N. Main, Ephraim, through May 11, granaryartcenter.org Epicenter: Our Futures Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through July 1, umfa.utah.edu Fahamu Pecou: DO or DIE: Affect, Ritual, Resistance Shaw Gallery, Weber State University, 3964 W. Campus Drive, Ogden, through April 7, weber.edu/shawgallery Familiar Flora: Four Visual Responses to Living With Plants Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Grande St., through May 11, visualarts.utah.gov Florescentia: Works by Emily Fox King Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through May 4, visualarts.utah.gov From Painting to Pottery: Blaine Clayton and Nina Plant Local Colors Gallery, 1054 E. 2100 South, through April 18, localcolorsart.com Holladay Arts Council Fine Art Show Holladay City Hall, 4580 S. 2300 East, March 23-24, 6-9 p.m., holladayarts.org Inner Echoes Urban Arts Gallery, 137 S. Rio Grande St., 801-230-0820, through April 1, urbanartsgallery.org In/Out: Artwork by Clayton Middle School Students Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801524-8200, through May 18, times vary, slcpl.org Jake Gilson: Ripening “A” Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, through April 7, agalleryonline.com (see p. 21) Joseph Paul Vorst: A Retrospective LDS Church History Museum, 45 N. West Temple, through April 15, history.lds.org Katie Paterson: salt 13 Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, through May 20, umfa.utah.edu LEGO City Blocks The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, through Aug. 31, theleonardo.org Mandelman & Ribak Exhibition Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801-355-3383, through June 10, modernwestfineart.com McGarren Flack: Vulnerability Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, No. 125, through April 13, accessart.org Merritt Johnson: Exorcising America UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through May 12, utahmoca.org Nicole Pietrantoni: Alas, Alack Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, through April 15, kimballartcenter.org Randy Laub and Stephanie Swift Salt Lake Culinary Center, 2233 S. 300 East, through March 30, saltlakeculinarycenter.com Sugar-Coated Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through April 14, saltlakearts.org Thread Painting: Embroidery Landscape with Danielle Susi UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, March 24, 2-4 p.m., utahmoca.org Thomas B. Szalay: Images from Timeless Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through March 31, slcpl.org Todd Powelson: The Thunder, Perfect Mind Corinne & Jack Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, through April 21 Tom Howard / Simone Simonian Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, through April 13, phillips-gallery.com

Tacos at Rose Park’s El Cabrito are in a field all their own. BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

AT A GLANCE

Open: Monday-Thursday, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Friday-Sunday, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Best bet: The simple, soulful carnitas burrito Can’t miss: Anything with chivo (goat) in the name

MARCH 22, 2018 | 23

Americans. My initial aversion to eating goat springs from the fact that, since Wendy’s commercials kept asking “Where’s the beef?” instead of “Where’s the goat?,” goat

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I’m someone who lacks a vegan’s discipline, and I’m also fairly new to the goateating crowd. I grew up on hamburgers and all-beef hot dogs, just like a lot of

with just as much culinary talent as the goat—rice, beans and that’s it. Despite its unassuming presentation, this burrito could take down just about every other one I’ve eaten to date. And that’s a hell of a lot of burritos. Outside of having an accessible outlet to slightly more exotic meat options, El Cabrito is a bastion of authentic Mexican food that absolutely bullseyes the warm, comforting deliciousness that you’d hope to get from such vibrant cuisine. Even if you’re not ready to give goat a try, trust me, the carnitas alone are well worth the trip. CW

espite goat being the most consumed red meat in the world, it has yet to catch on widely stateside. There are a lot of factors behind this, but chief among them is the fact that the beef industry cornered the meat market back when the country was still getting its sea legs. Thanks to years of “Beef, it’s what’s for dinner” commercials, Americans haven’t fully accepted goat meat in the way they’ve embraced goat cheese, which actually creates a sustainability problem in the long run. Since goats need to have offspring in order to produce the milk for popular goat cheese, farmers struggle to find a market to sell other goats. The solution? Eat more goats. Oh, or go vegan. That’s a thing, too.

helping of meat wrapped up in a tortilla, along with a dish of salsa, onions, cilantro and several sauces. The one difference between these tacos and their street-cart counterparts is their size—these things are gigantic. Those who have tried goat and found it tough and unwieldy— which can happen if it’s not cooked properly—simply need give one of these expertly prepared tacos a try. The meat here is slow-roasted, letting the goat’s lean, slightly sweet flavor shine through. Paired with a plethora of optional toppings, it’s an example not of what tacos are, but what they can aspire to be. Venturing toward more traditional meats, the carnitas burrito ($6.99) just might be the acme of burrito evolution. It will fool you with its humble presentation, slathered in green chile and a healthy dose of melted Oaxaca cheese, but this is what people are talking about when they gush about something simple done extremely well. It’s stuffed with slowroasted pork carnitas—prepared

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

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Rock the Goat!

meat must be inferior in some way. Having tried goat at a few places, I think Rose Park’s El Cabrito (956 W. 1000 North, 801-363-2645) is the best spot for curious carnivores interested in giving goat a try. After all, the eatery isn’t named after these cloven-hoofed critters for nothing. El Cabrito’s interior is a pleasant throwback to its authentic Mexican roots. The stucco walls are painted to resemble aging adobe and exposed brick, transporting the diner to a location that could easily be found in cities closer to the southern border—San Diego’s Old Town comes to mind. The atmosphere is warm and welcoming—and the place is always packed. El Cabrito’s vast menu is front and center, touting everything from traditionally prepared tacos and burritos to Mexican soups like pozole ($8.49) and menudo ($8.49). Goat novitiates will want to start with the tacos de chivo ($2.25). Served on El Cabrito’s housemade tortillas, these tacos are served street-style. You get a generous

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24 | MARCH 22, 2018

FOOD MATTERS

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AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

It’s hard to find a group of restaurants that take their cuisine as seriously as Saffron Valley. Each location is dedicated to exploring India’s nuanced regional cuisine, and a food-and-wine pairing on March 27 at the Sugar House branch (479 E. 2100 South, 801-203-3754, saffronvalley.com) looks to be a culmination of their cultural goals. The seven-course meal is thoughtfully curated to take diners on “an old-fashioned train journey through India,” the owners say. The event is a great place to sample some truly great food, with the chefs responsible for the meal on hand to explain each dish’s cultural significance.

Whole Grain Sampling Day

March 28 marks the seventh annual Whole Grain Sampling Day, a national event spearheaded by the nutrition nonprofit Oldways and its Whole Grains Council. Attendees can learn about the benefits of a diet rich in whole grains, and collect some great free samples, too. Whole grains have long been considered a staple of a healthy diet and the Whole Grains Council is all about teaching people the different ways to incorporate grains into their daily meals. Several Harmons locations are participating in the event, which offers whole grain-based foods for free or at a reduced cost. For details, check out wholegrainscouncil.org.

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Recently, online bulk candy retailer candystore.com dug through 10 years of sales data and polled more than 12,000 Facebook users to determine each state’s most popular jelly bean, plus a national favorite. Nationally, buttered popcorn is our most beloved bean—narrowly beating out black licorice, which has long been America’s reigning champion. Folks in the Beehive State prefer old-fashioned cherry jelly beans above all others. I’ve long been a staunch fan of peach jelly beans, so, naturally, I’ll just have to launch a Twitter smear campaign, deny the results and gaslight anyone who doesn’t see things my way. That’s how we do cultural discourse now, right? Quote of the Week: “The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I’m taking with me when I go.” –Erma Bombeck Food Matters tips: comments@cityweekly.net

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 25

KING BUFFET

L U N C H B U F F E T • D I N N E R B U F F E T • S AT U R D AY & S U N D AY A L L D AY D I N N E R B U F F E T

These local beers masquerade as classic cocktails. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

few weeks ago, this column got into apple beers to see if they were just cider wannabes or legitimate beers that happen to use apples. I’d say we came out at about 50-50 in that overview. This week, I came across a couple beers that have strayed into a realm that most beers dare not venture: the land of cocktails. Now, I’m no expert on cocktails, but I do know at their most basic form they must contain a spirituous liquor, water, sugars and/or bitters. Since their inception in early 19th-century America, the cocktail has taken on flavors and flair from the regions from which they hail, reaching the height of popularity during Prohibition when quality liquors were scarce and available alcohol was in much need of a bit

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26 | MARCH 22, 2018

MIKE RIEDEL

Spurious Spirits

of masking flavor to make it palatable. Generally, booze and beer tend to stay on their own sides of the fence, only intermingling when individuals need to accelerate or decelerate their journey to a happy state of mind. A couple local breweries have formulated beers that are meant to honor two very popular cocktails: the Manhattan and the mojito. Both can trace their lineages back to the 1800s, though some historians claim the mojito goes back as far as the 1500s. Each tastes very different from beer, so I was curious as to how accurate they really are. To help attune my tastebuds, I started off with classic examples of each cocktail. Epic Club Lounge: At first, I wasn’t too sure if Epic could pull this off. If you’re not familiar with the classic Manhattan, it’s comprised of bourbon or rye whiskey, bitters, sweet vermouth and a cherry garnish. This beer is aged in oak barrels with cherries, cocoa nibs, sweet and bitter dried orange peels, cinnamon sticks, vanilla bean paste, clove, star anise and gentian root. The aroma is quite similar to the cocktail, without the boozy perfume. The taste absolutely screams Manhattan, but since this is 12.3 percent ABV beer, it can’t come close to the heat of whiskey. The spices and adjuncts do a nice job of tricking your tongue into thinking you’re swilling an effervescent version of the cocktail. Trickery achieved!

Shades of Pale Mojito: This beer is brand-new as well, inspired by the traditional Cuban cocktail of the same name. The mojito is rum-based with muddled mint, lime juice, simple syrup and club soda. Shades of Pale’s beer interpretation utilizes a tart Berliner Weisse beer as its base, aged in rum barrels with added mint and lemon peel. The aroma here is full of citrus-like tartness and mint. The taste is slightly tart, with oaky white rum adding a little bite. Fresh mint then carries the beer’s flavor profile to the end with a bit of rind bitterness in the finish. The beer’s natural carbonation provides a nice spritz in the

mouth, adding to its cocktail authenticity. Although the base is more lemon than lime, the rum and mint help sell its mockabilty. This 4 percent ABV beer belongs with its cousin on a hot day under a big beach umbrella—refreshing and intense, like a mojito. Trickery achieved! These are a perfect examples of how flexible beer can be in mimicking other comfort foods and drinks. I doubt you could easily reverse-engineer a cocktail to mimic a beer, though if there’s a mixologist or cocktail artist out there who thinks he or she can pull it off, I’d love to be your guinea pig. As always, cheers! CW

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REVIEW BITES A sample of our critic’s reviews

Mon.-Fri. 5pm-10pm Sat.-Sun. 11am-10pm

9460 S Union Square #106, Sandy 801-432-8736

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serving breakfast, lunch and dinner

Conceptually, Chuck-A-Rama’s heart has always been in the right place, but its current menu of traditional Utah fare hasn’t aged particularly well. All the major players are there—broccoli salad with dried cranberries, washed-out shreds of carrot salad and thick heaps of mayo-drenched potato salad. Depending on the day, the ’Rama has a full table dedicated to Americanized versions of Mexican, Italian and Chinese food. The pork burritos and chicken enchiladas were fine in a culturally appropriated sort of way, but the overall effect didn’t quite nail the cheap Mexican food vibe I was hoping for. Highlights of the daily hot food bar include the carving table where diners can get sliced turkey, ham and roast beef. These are Chuck-A-Rama’s foundational items, and they pair nicely with any other side. The dessert bar comprises two tables full of technicolor cakes, bread pudding, sticky buns, brownies and cookies, all of which can and should be enhanced by dual softserve machines. I’m sure the Chuck will represent a point of nostalgia and a foodie rite of passage for Utahns in perpetuity. Reviewed Feb. 22. Multiple locations, chuck-a-rama.com

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Greek

THE OTHER PLACE

RESTAURANT OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

Del Mar al Lago

If you love ceviche, you’ll love this Peruvian restaurant. Try the ceviche de mero, made with tender grouper, mussels, octopus, calamari and more, served with sweet corn and onions that complement the zesty spices. Portions are generous, and plates seem designed to be shared, so don’t keep that lomo saltado (strips of beef marinated in soy sauce, vinegar and spices, stir-fried with onions and tomatoes and served with steamed rice and french fries) to yourself. The restaurant is clean and airy, with an open kitchen where you can see your meal being prepared. 310 W. Bugatti Ave., 801-467-2890 Leave your expectations for hand-held gyros at the door: Owner Aristides Boutsikakis has brought a taste of Greece to Salt Lake City. The mezedakia (Greek small-plates) are as sensational as they come—there’s sautéed baby octopus and thick cuts of battered and flash-fried calamari, baked eggplant whipped with olive oil, Greek meatballs, sautéed shrimp in marinara and more. 244 S. 1300 East, 801-581-0888, aristosslc.com Since 1989, Squatters has been the go-to brewpub for Salt Lakers. But the beer- and burgerlovers’ refuge has much more to offer patrons: Its diverse menu ranges from an insanely tasty Thai yellow curry to grilled salmon drizzled with wasabi aioli. After all these years, it’s still among the best in town. Another perk: You can pick up a six-pack of full-strength beer to take home, even after the liquor stores are closed. Multiple locations, squatters.com

Greek Souvlaki

MARCH 22, 2018 | 29

DEVOURUTAHSTORE.COM

Owner/self-taught pastry czar Leslie Seggar knows exactly what’s she’s doing on every level—from croissants to hot-pressed sandwiches. Seggar’s gourmet pastries feature only the finest ingredients, and the treats are enhanced by the store’s layout, right down to communal tables that create a warm and contemporary environment. The sticky buns are out of this world. 863 E. 700 South, 801-883-9741, tuliebakery.com

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Tulie Bakery

A perennial City Weekly Best of Utah winner, Greek Souvlaki was developing a following long before the inception of the awards. The doors to the first location were opened in 1972 by Lee and Mary Paulos, and they served just three items: gyros, souvlaki and beefteki. The business has since expanded to five locations and has stayed true to the Paulos’ vision of serving high-quality Greek cuisine to locals. Multiple locations, greeksouvlaki.com

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MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM SUN 8AM - 10PM 469 EAST 300 SOUTH ● 521-6567

FAST CASUAL DINING

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

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30 | MARCH 22, 2018

CINEMA

FILM REVIEW

That Hits Despot

The Death of Stalin turns totalitarianism into hilarious dark satire. BY MARYANN JOHANSON comments@cityweekly.net @maryannjohanson

IFC FILMS

resenting: Monty Python’s production of George Orwell’s 1984. Or damned close to it. So The Death of Stalin is akin to Terry Gilliam’s Brazil, then? Well, sort of; I definitely scribbled “Brazil” in my notes while watching. But Brazil was fiction—clearly inspired by actual totalitarian regimes, but entirely made up. Stalin, however, is based on terrible reality. Perhaps not since Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator has a filmmaker taken on such awful personalities and events, while attempting to make us laugh about it all. Except in 1940, the atrocious extent of Hitler’s crimes was not yet known. So has there ever been a film quite like this? The audacity of writer-director Armando Iannucci is, therefore, astonishing. Even more miraculous is that Stalin actually works as a comedy. It’s outrageously funny in ways that sometimes make you feel like you shouldn’t be laughing, but you can’t stop. Perhaps if anyone could pull this off, it’s Iannucci, who has previously given us the television comedies Veep and The Thick of It (which spawned the uproarious feature In the Loop), both of which send up contemporary political shenanigans in, respectively, Washington, D.C., and Whitehall. But, again, those are fictional. And comparatively light next to the bleak maneuverings of Cold War-era Soviet muckety-mucks—men responsible for, among other things, mass murder of their own citizens. Muckety-mucks, though. That’s why Stalin succeeds: Without minimizing the despotic horrors these men were responsible for, Iannucci exposes them as terrified weasels jockeying for position, simultaneously puffed up with authority and too scared to do anything with it lest it enrage their boss. It’s the worst humanity can do: junior high

school with guns. The opening chunk of film covers how paralyzed into inaction the dictator’s inner circle becomes when they discover him on the floor of his office, apparently having had a stroke. What if he dies? Worse: What if he lives, and is upset over how they did or did not react? And after he does die—not a spoiler; it’s in the title, as well as the history books—who gets to succeed him? This is a story in which for long stretches, nothing happens, but it’s nevertheless momentous. Iannucci is adapting the graphic novel by Fabien Nury and Thierry Robin, so the gall is not all his. But the cheek to cast Steve Buscemi to play up his weirdo-trickster onscreen persona as Nikita Khrushchev? That’s all Iannucci. Or Jeffrey Tambor as Georgy Malenkov, a close associate of Stalin’s, the man who carried out Stalin’s political purges? Tambor’s foppish fastidiousness is almost reminiscent of Dick Shawn in Springtime for Hitler. Or Jason Isaacs giving military honcho Georgy Zhukov an over-the-top Yorkshire accent and a bumptious sense of humor? That is pure Python, and it’s brilliantly funny. There’s even an actual Python here: Michael Palin as diplomat Vyacheslav Molotov. Ironically, Palin plays it pretty straight. Above all, it’s the absurdity of totalitarianism that is mocked—that one man could instill such terror in so many people, and often over such petty issues. Here we see Stalin, in his last public act before his stroke, ordering a recording of a Mozart concert he’s just listened to live on

Jeffrey Tambor and Steve Buscemi (standing) in The Death of Stalin

the radio, and the reaction in the studio is both perfectly reasonable and petrifyingly outrageous: They’ll just perform it again and record it. Except the conductor is so panicked that he passes out, and the revolutionary-minded star pianist (Olga Kurylenko) flat-out refuses. Oh, and half the audience has already left. How Paddy Considine’s producer, Comrade Andryev, rustles up a new conductor becomes a nerve-wracking illustration of the capriciousness of fate under such rule, the stress of awaiting that ominous late-night knock on the door. The practicality with which Andryev pulls the whole thing off is a bitterly comic testament to how people survive such everyday tyranny. It’s so tempting, with a film like this, to try to connect it to the current deplorable state of politics. I wish it were easier to dismiss such a temptation. But with a capricious narcissist in the White House and, just recently, a British MP demanding that universities turn over the names of professors lecturing on Brexit, and what they’re teaching, it’s not easy at all. Better laugh while we can. CW

THE DEATH OF STALIN

BBBB Steve Buscemi Jeffrey Tambor Jason Isaacs R

TRY THESE The Great Dictator (1940) Charlie Chaplin Paulette Goddard NR

Brazil (1985) Jonathan Pryce Robert DeNiro R

In the Loop (2009) Peter Capaldi Tom Hollander R

Veep (2012) Julia Louis-Dreyfus Tony Hale NR

NEW THIS WEEK

SPECIAL SCREENINGS

Film release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net THE DEATH OF STALIN BBBB See review on p. 30. Opens March 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R) FLOWER BB.5 A magnetic lead performance is almost enough to keep the indie quirk in co-writer/director Max Winkler’s feature from going off the rails. Zoey Deutch plays Erica, a 17-year-old high school student with a volatile personality and a penchant for blackmailing older guys after filming them getting oral sex from her. Into the life of Erica and her single mother (Kathryn Hahn) comes Luke (Joey Morgan), the troubled teen son of Erica’s soon-to-be stepfather. The plot ultimately gets way too complicated, undermining the weird dynamic between Erica and her mother and Erica’s obvious unhealthy attachment to her absentee imprisoned father. But despite all the conspicuous edginess—Girls gone wild! Pseudo-incest! Jokes about pederasty!—Deutch brings the punch to a girl who could have been a cliché of acting out. Morgan’s more restrained performance provides necessary counterpoint, but it’s always compelling to watch a young actor show the screen presence needed to carry a less-thanstellar script. Opens March 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (NR)—Scott Renshaw

PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING [not yet reviewed] The battle between human-piloted Jaegers and monstrous kaiju continues. Opens March 23 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

THE LAST COMMAND At Edison Street Events, March 22-23, 7:30 p.m. (NR) ON HER SHOULDERS At Main Library, March 27, 7 p.m. (NR) SHADOW OF A DOUBT At Salt Lake Community College, March 27, 6 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES 7 DAYS IN ENTEBBE BB.5 Director José Padilha explores the real-life 1976 hijacking of an Air France flight from Israel, part of an attempt to secure the release of Palestinian prisoners. The focus alternates between two German radicals (Daniel Brühl and Rosamund Pike) participating in the hijacking, and the debates by Israeli leaders including prime minister Yitzhak Rabin (Lior Ashkenazi) and defense minister Shimon Peres (Eddie Marsan) over a possible rescue operation. Padilha makes a few bold filmmaking choices, including juxtaposing military action with a dance performance choreographed by Ohad Naharin. But as much as Gregory Burke’s screenplay tries to humanize everyone involved, this is too fraught a subject for the baseline moral quandaries they face. The result is a sporadically intense drama that spends too much time on scenes of people looking pensive while smoking. (PG-13)—SR LOVE, SIMON BBB Director Greg Berlanti adapts Becky Albertalli’s novel Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, about closeted gay high-school student Simon (Nick Robinson) facing being outed when a classmate (Logan Miller) gets evidence of his email correspondence with an anonymous guy. The script offers a considerably more comedic take on the source material, aiming for high school social-satire

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

THE PARTY BBB.5 Politician Janet (Kristin Scott Thomas) hosts a gathering of friends to celebrate her new job in Parliament; it doesn’t go well. Writer-director Sally Potter’s brutally snappy take on British drawing-room comedy is a cutting takedown of the hypocrisies of well-off left-wing Londoners, taking advantage of the dual meaning of “party,” with the evening’s acrimonious chaos echoing current political shambles on both sides of the Atlantic. The remarkable ensemble—including Emily Mortimer, Cherry Jones, Timothy Spall, Bruno Ganz and a movie-stealing Patricia Clarkson—never descends into caricature, instead imbuing characters with deep humanity. Their arguments about guilt and ambition, class and privilege, spirituality and reason are never as black-and-white as the beautiful cinematography, and they get at some of the authentic contradictions of trying to be progressive in a world that doesn’t make that stance easy. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson TOMB RAIDER B.5 This rebooks aims to be very Indiana Jones, specifically 1989’s Last Crusade—except they forgot any Indy sparkle. When Lara Croft (Alicia Vikander) stumbles upon the “secret calling” of her long-missing millionaire father (Dominic West), she follows in his footsteps to find the hidden tomb of an ancient Japanese sorceress-queen. It’s all fairly perfunctory, as if, well, she were a videogame avatar doing what the plot requires. There’s no personality in her adventure, as there is none in her, either; she’s solemn, earnest and ultimately empty. There’s lots of action, mostly of the fisticuffs and gunfights varieties, and it’s nice to see a female character with a physicality we don’t typically get to see in women onscreen, without Vikander being shot in any way that is fetishized. But those are no replacements for the missing movie magic. (PG-13)—MAJ

PAUL, APOSTLE OF CHRIST [not yet reviewed] Biblical story of the converted persecutor of Christianity (James Faulkner). Opens March 23 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE At Main Library, March 28, 2 p.m. (R)

CINEMA CLIPS

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MIDNIGHT SUN [not yet reviewed] A teenager (Bella Thorne) deals with a rare condition that forces her to completely avoid daylight. Opens March 23 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

DINA See p. 18. At Rose Wagner Center, March 22, 7 p.m. (NR)

snark reminiscent of Mean Girls or Easy A. It’s generally funny stuff, even as it undercuts some of the genuine existential terror of a kid wondering how friends and family might see him with a new label attached. There’s also less effective buildup in the mystery of Simon’s online secret admirer, so it’s a bit thin as a first-love story. It’ll suffice that an entertaining, upbeat gay spin on mainstream theatrical teen romance can now exist at all. (PG-13)—SR

SHERLOCK GNOMES [not yet reviewed] Sequel to Gnomeo & Juliet in which a gnome detective investigates the disappearance of garden ornaments, is a thing I just had to write. Opens March 23 at theaters valleywide. (PG) UNSANE [not yet reviewed] A woman (Claire Foy) finds terror when she’s committed to a psychiatric hospital. Opens March 23 at theaters valleywide. (R)

PACIFIC RIM 2

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 31

MARCH 28TH PREMIER

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FILM • FOOD • NEIGHBORHOOD BAR SHOWING: MARCH 23RD - MARCH 29TH

more than just movies at brewvies

Dis Old House

MUSIC

City Weekly visits “Discoid” Sam Rodriguez. BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

t’s apt that Dis House is on a street so narrow you want to repeatedly ignore Google Maps’ directive to turn. It’s not that what Sam Rodriguez, aka Discoid Sam, does here is secret, but obscurity is part and parcel of underground concerts. That’s why they’re always in warehouses or back-alley art and practice spaces like the old Moroccan, which is now Copper Palate Press. Shows are just cooler when they’re harder to find. Rodriguez, 35, waits on the porch of the brick abode, wearing a black baseball cap and long black coat. He opens the screen door, revealing a living room decorated with old fliers, and stacks and stacks of cult films on VHS. In the kitchen, on a sticker-splattered table, an old 13-inch color TV provides low-res atmosphere. The show’s supposed to start at 6 p.m. So far, nobody is here. Rodriguez, who always seems mellow, isn’t worried. He already has everything ready to go. “You wanna see where the bands play?” he asks. The stage is the concrete floor of a 100-square-foot basement laundry room. The left wall is adorned with shiny dryer ducting, exposed pipes, jugs of detergent, various amplifiers and two bass guitars. On the rear and right walls, above an old seven-piece drum kit, are white bedsheets with Rodriguez’s City of Dis label logo stenciled in black spray paint. Doorways on each wall lead to two rooms—one holds more instruments and gear; the other is Rodriguez’s bedroom, where the frameless mattress is tipped against the wall to make room (if not sight lines) for more people. In other words, it’s perfect. Rodriguez was born in Norwalk, Calif., but says, “I’ve lived all over the place.” That includes various Cali towns as well as Las Vegas and even Fayetteville, Ark.—the home of Walmart—before coming to SLC 10 years ago. “I always wanted to be in bands since I was little, but I didn’t actually get into music until I was 17 or 18,” he says. That was the early 2000s, when the internet made music easier to discover. Rodriguez had been exposed to the Beastie Boys and, through his stepfather, the first Suicidal Tendencies record. “I was all about that. And for a long time, I kinda held music up to either being [Suicidal Tendencies] or Queen—and a lot of music doesn’t reach that bar.” The sudden cyber-buffet changed everything. Rodriguez realized he had an appetite for “weird, noisy stuff that wasn’t like other stuff. I feel like a lot of people don’t get that it was hard to find before the internet. Unless there was a local scene, or somebody got you something from somewhere else and was like, ‘Yo, these bands exist. Check ’em out,’ you didn’t—I didn’t know what the fuck to do.” A cacophonic racket is what puts the “dis” in Dis House and City of Dis, which purveys the discordant, dissonant music that Rodriguez finds so cathartic. “There’s a lot of stuff that makes [Dis] funny,” he says, citing d-beat band Discharge and “the negative connotation of ‘diss.’” And of course, Discoid Sam. Much like the performing names of Joey Ramone and Joe Queer, it signifies a connection to the music, the house and the label, but also Discoid A, the band Rodriguez formed in 2010 with his brother Conrad Callirgos (Satanic Hispanic) and Raunch Records proprietor Brad Collins. “That’s actually the first band I ever played shows with,”

RANDY HARWARD

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

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32 | MARCH 22, 2018

CONCERT PREVIEW

Chirp’s Jeremy Devine and Sam Rodriguez Rodriguez says. He’d had other music projects in the past, and tends to juggle several at a time. Currently, he performs and/or records with Zapp Brannigan, Hyrkanian, 22A, DRTGRBZ, Nelson Muntz, SWA, Worry and Chirp—a duo with Jeremy Devine (The Nods, 90s Television). Chirp’s on the bill tonight, playing second, following a set by local one-woman loop-noise act Human Toy. By now, the small room is full of spectators. After a quick soundcheck, Devin disappears into Rodriguez’s room, reappearing a few minutes later with a City of Dis bandana covering the lower half of his face. It conceals a $5 contact microphone. Devine moans and yells unintelligibly into the device while furiously picking and strumming the thick strings on his stickered bass. Behind him, sans coat and hat, Rodriguez joyfully bashes his kit. The set seems to end as quickly as it started. “We skipped a couple of songs,” Rodriguez says. “I was tired and didn’t practice.” They played six or seven songs; the longest was a cover of Cream’s “Sunshine of Your Love” which, at Chirp speed, clocks in at less than two minutes (instead of its usual four). So Chirp’s set was done in roughly 10 minutes. The crowd disperses, hanging out in various parts of Dis House until the next act is ready. I walk outside and head back into the world. I get into my car and look back down the street, feeling as though I’ve discovered something truly distinct. CW

PHYSIQUE, ZAPP BRANNIGAN, WHO KILLED DAT BOI?, MULNG, BUTTWEISER

March 24, 7 p.m. Dis House 156 N. Laxon Court 415-723-2699 $5 donation All ages

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 33

EAT AT SUE’S! YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD BAR · FREE GAME ROOM, AS ALWAYS!

BY RANDY HARWARD & BRIAN STAKER

—LOCATIONS— 677 S. 200th W. Salt Lake City 801-746-1417

6885 State St. Midvale 801-561-5390

5654 S. 1900 W. Roy 801-773-2953

Canadian-American musician Meghan Remy seems like the noise-pop world’s answer to Cat Power: Working in a confessional songwriting mode, she’s managed to make eccentricities sound personable. In a decade, she’s released nine albums, gone from 4-track recordings on minor indie label Siltbreeze to the venerated 4AD, and been nominated for a Juno Award (the Canucks’ version of the Grammys). On her latest, In a Poem Unlimited (2018), her ponderings range from politics (“Rage of Plastics” and “Velvet 4 Sale”) to the telling found-sound excerpt “Why Do I Lose My Voice When I Have Something to Say?” Assistance from Toronto musical collective The Cosmic Range adds to her sound considerable, uh, range. Also from Toronto, quartet Frigs—Remy’s sometime collaborators—take swipes at ’80s-influenced pop punk that sounds surprisingly up to date. Salt Lake electronic/experimental label Hel Audio has released artist Bobo’s debut album Smoke In the Elevator on Bandcamp. It’s one of the most interesting local releases so far this year. (Brian Staker) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $12, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

FRIDAY 3/23

Ed Schrader’s Music Beat, Naked Giants, Moaning

Sometimes less is more, especially in punk rock, and Ed Schrader’s Music Beat was originally just that—singer/guitarist

Ed Schrader’s Music Beat

COLIN MEDLEY

U.S. Girls, Frigs, Bobo

Schrader and a floor tom. Not long after the project’s inception in 2010, he added bassist Devlin Rice. What’s next, a full prog-rock orchestration? Their minimal sound palette has allowed the emotional content of their songs to stay in the forefront, as Schrader seems like a perpetual college kid in his performing persona. The unique group hails from Baltimore, which has produced other such eccentrics as filmmaker John Waters and artist/producer Dan Deacon. Fittingly, Deacon helmed the band’s new album, Riddles (Carpark), which finds ESMB poised to take their music to a more profound level. Support acts include Seattle garage rock trio Naked Giants, whose New West Records debut Sluff comes out a week after this show, and LA post-punk trio Moaning, who camouflages seemingly distracted vocals with rhythmic agitations on their self-titled Sub Pop Records debut. (BS) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $10, all ages, kilbycourt.com

U.S. Girls vocalist Brian Johnson let go due to hearing troubles, and the retirement and death of rhythm guitarist Malcolm Young. Even the surprisingly decent addition of vocalist Axl Rose can’t rescue them from being a patchwork facsimile of their former selves. But when fleet-fingered, buck-wild Conner and crew fire up those bluesy, stomping tunes, they rekindle the magic in a way that holographic technology and superstar recruits just can’t. Hell’s Belles ring true. (Randy Harward) Friday: The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., sold out, 21+, thestateroomslc.com; Saturday: O.P. Rockwell, 628 Main, Park City, 9 p.m., $25-$40, 21+, oprockwell.com

Hell’s Belles

FRIDAY & SATURDAY 3/23-24 Hell’s Belles, Thunderfist

LISSY ELLE

It’s hard to believe it’s been 18 years since Hell’s Belles appeared at the vanguard of estrogen-driven tributes to testosteronefueled bands, including The Iron Maidens, Cheap Chick and the original all-woman AC/DC tribute, AC/DShe. Guitarist Adrian Conner and friends have since duck-walked past those acts, and many of their male contemporaries, to become one of the most faithful and exciting tributes in the world. Their existence is a welcome distraction from the thought that AC/DC’s denim-clad everyman foundation is shaken and crumbling. They’re just not the same band with drummer Phil Rudd gone due to legal woes,

KURT CLARK

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34 | MARCH 22, 2018

CITYWEEKLY.NET

THURSDAY 3/22

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 35

MARCH 25 MARCH 26 MARCH 27 MARCH 28

SUNDAY NIGHT Industry night - in the Rabbit Hole basement of Lake Effect

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MARCH 21 MARCH 22

3.24 STONEFED WITH SPECIAL GUEST CHRISTIAN MILLS

FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS Enjoy craft cocktails and live music. Get here early as it fills up fast!

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3.23 STONEFED

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SATURDAY, MARCH 24TH

STONE TONY’S

Columbia Jones

Columbia Jones is local by way of rural southern Maine, and has a great backstory for a blues-influenced singer-songwriter. It involves big-city dreams, train-hopping, struggling to pay the bills as a musician and studio owner, and busking on street corners for singles and change. His second studio EP, Blue Collar Blues (columbiajones. bandcamp.com, 2017), features two fullband and three solo tunes—but that’s somewhat misleading, since Jones plays almost all the instruments himself. (Ivy Augusta Smith and Todd Christensen contribute double bass and pedal steel guitar, respectively, on a few tracks.) But it demonstrates the self-reliance a guy acquires when he’s got no choice but to hit the road. Something else it shows is how Jones’ songs can fit anywhere. With a band, his heartworn, hard-luck stories

Gloria Trevi

9:00PM | 21+ | $5 COVER

4242 South State Street SLC, UT 84107 Open from 10am - 2am

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36 | MARCH 22, 2018

LIVE

NEW HIMALAYAN PUB FUSION SMALL PLATES MENU

Columbia Jones

can satisfy a packed room of folks looking to forget the pains of the day through backbeat and booze. He can even muster that on his own, with just a resonator guitar, kick drum and foot tambourine. But the one-man show also works with a more sedate crowd of troubled types looking for a commiserative soundtrack to their own escapist drinking. So come tap a toe—or an empty PBR can—with him tonight. (RH) Piper Down Pub, 1492 S. State, 9 p.m., $5, 21+, piperdownpub.com

SATURDAY 3/24

Gloria Trevi, Alejandra Guzmán

You think American pop stars are surrounded by melodrama and intrigue? Gloria Trevi and Alejandra Guzmán are two of Mexico’s most beloved stars. The singer/actresses are also among the most controversial, with Trevi having spent four years in prison on charges of rape, kidnapping and corruption of minors before being cleared in 2004. Guzmán, daughter of actor-rocker Enrique Guzmán and legendary actress/producer/politician Silvia Pinal, saw her husband arrested on drug charges in Germany in 1989—just a month after her personal driver was found dead in her home of an apparent suicide. Naturally, that and the fact that they’re born six days apart gives the women plenty of common ground. That’s why they’ve teamed up on the joint album Versus (Universal, 2017) and the tour of the same name. It’s a friendly match-up, with the women performing separately and jointly, proudly flaunting their individual attributes as well as their friendship and shared triumph over adversity. (RH) Vivint Smart Home Arena, 301 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $96.95-$497, all ages, vivintarena.com

GRAB A BITE

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2PM

TONIGHT

HIGHLAND

Thursdays

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Fridays

$3 FIREBALLS-

KARAOKE

Mondays 75¢ WINGS ALL DAY

saturdays

SCANDALOUS SATURDAY’S W/ DJ LOGIK

Tuesdays KARAOKE

DINNER AND A SHOW. ONLY AT GRACIE’S! EVERY TUESDAY

BLUEGRASS JAM WITH HOSTS PIXIE AND THE PARTYGRASS BOYS 7PM-10PM

9PM

Wednesdays

BREAKING BINGO $3000 POT-8PM

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MARCH 25

MARCH 22

MICHELLE MOONSHINE 7PM TALIA KEYS 10PM

MARCH 24

MARCH 26

MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ 7PM

SATURDAY BRUNCH 10AM-3PM TOURING ARTIST CHRISTOPHER HAWLEY 6PM-9PM

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HOURS

10AM TO 7PM

W W W. S O U N D WA R E H O U S E .C O M SLC 2763 S. STATE: 485-0070

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MONDAY– SATURDAY CLOSED SUNDAY

• OREM 1680 N. STATE: 226-6090

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 37

COME IN TO YOUR NEAREST SOUND WAREHOUSE LOCATION TO SEE ONE OF OUR KENWOOD OR PIONEER MODELS

| CITY WEEKLY |

324

ting star at

Enjoy APPY HOUR 1/2 off appetizers every day 4pm-6pm & 10pm-midnight.

MARCH 23

THE WILL BAXTER BAND 6PM-9PM FUNKY FRIDAY WITH DJ GODINA 10PM-1AM

SUNDAY BRUNCH 10AM-3PM TOURING ARTISTS ARMCHAIR BOOGIE 4PM-7PM GRACIE’S SUNDAY NIGHT BLUES WITH HOSTS NICK GRECO AND BLUES ON FIRST TONY HOLIDAY AND ERIC MCFADDEN 10PM-1AM

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

MARCH 21

MATTHEW AND THE HOPE PLAYING 10PM-1AM

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

38 | MARCH 22, 2018

SATURDAY 3/24

CONCERTS & CLUBS

BRITTANY LYN KRAUS

Sadgirl, Bruiser Queen, Yak & the Sherpas

KARAOKE

{THURSDAY & FRIDAYS 9PM}

POOL TOURNAMENTS MONDAYS BY CRISSIE FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS BY RANDY

TEXAS HOLDEM MONDAYS & THURSDAY

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3425 S. State St. Suite D 385.528.2547 open 7 days a week from 11 am to 1 am

In a sea of musical genres, a new one surfaces: surf-wop. Los Angeles trio Sadgirl plays this hybrid genre, which isn’t quite a musical portmanteau of surf-rock and doo-wop, sonically. It’s more reverb and guitars, with a slight sock-hoppy vibe that pays homage to musical history without appearing dated, and they have decent enough songwriting chops to ride the cresting wave that’s just starting to build. In three years, they’ve released the same number of EPs, and the latest two are called Vol. 3 – Head to the Mountains and Vol. 3 – The Hand That Did the Deed (wearesadgirl.bandcamp. com). The group has a theatrical element common to the L.A. scene; they almost seem like their best medium is music videos rather than songs, but both are really good. The song, of course, comes first, but there is a narrative component to something like “Feel Like Shit” that gives the musical history lesson a cinematic feel. Bruiser Queen is a garage pop duo from St. Louis, comprised of singer/guitarist Morgan Nusbaum and drummer Jason Potter. On their second album, Sweet Static (Boxing Clever Records), Nusbaum’s vocals smack of Best Coast crossed with a smidgen of Sleater Kinney. In just a couple years, they have become a ready addition to the festival circuit. Yak & the Sherpas, a mystery band with no web presence, opens. (Brian Staker) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $11 presale; $13 day of show, all ages, kilbycourt.com

THURSDAY 3/22

see p. 34 Victor Menegaux (Downstairs)

LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Eric McFadden (Brewskis) Kevin Flynn & Svengali Quintet (Gallivan Center) Kolars + Escondido + Sammy Brue (Kilby Court) Kris Lager Band (O.P. Rockwell) MGMT (The Union Event Center) Morgan Snow (Hog Wallow) Olivia Jean (Garage on Beck) Reggae at the Royal feat. Krooked Treez + Know Madik (The Royal) The Russ Liquid Test (Metro Music Hall) Sam Smith & Morgan Whitney (The Yes Hell) Sego + Lantern By Sea + The Sardines (Velour) The Snyderville Electric Band (The Corner Store) The Spooks + Prozac + Alvie & The Breakfast Pigs + Roomers (The Underground) U.S. Girls + Frigs + Bobo (Urban Lounge)

SATURDAY, MAR. 24 MONDAYS

ERIC MCFADDEN TRIO BREAKING BINGO

9PM

DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (Deer Valley) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) The New Wave ’80s Night w/ DJ Radar (Area 51) Synesthesia + Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. JayKode (Sky)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Burly-oke (Prohibition) Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Funk ‘n’ Dive) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 3/23 LIVE MUSIC

A Light Among Many + Sister Missionary (Diabolical Records) AHAT Rap Battle: The Pit (The Loading Dock) Andy Grammer + James TW (The Depot) Apathy & Celph Titled (Metro Music Hall) Babylon A.D. (Liquid Joe’s) The Breakfast Klub (The Spur) Brothers Brim (Brewskis) Che Zuro (Deer Valley) Colt .46 (The Westerner) Columbia Jones (Piper Down) see p. 36 Crook & The Bluff (The Yes Hell) Dan Weldon (Snowbird) Dark Rooms + Okkah + Grove (Velour) Ed Schrader’s Music Beat + Naked Giants + The Moaning (Kilby Court) see p. 34 Eric Anthony + Lounge 40 (Lake Effect) Green River Blues Band (ABG’s) Hell’s Belles, Thunderfist

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

GROOVE TUESDAYS

KARAOKE AT 8PM

WASATCH POKER TOUR

SUN. & THUR. & 8PM SAT. @ 2PM FRIDAYS

FUNKIN’ FRIDAY

9PM - NO COVER JOHNNYSONSECOND.COM

DJ RUDE BOY WITH BAD BOY BRIAN

165 E 200 S SLC | 801.746.3334

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 3/21

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Thursday 3/22 Reggae at the Royal

krooked treez know madik

amfs & long islands 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

Live Music

RETRO RIOT DANCE PARTY

saturday 3/24

Live Music

riding gravity the klaw •hotel Le motel Tuesday 3/20

Après Ski (The Cabin) Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Jason Lowe (The Royal) DJ Jpan (Downstairs) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Mike (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise (The Red Door) Mi Cielo w/ DJ Wuazat (Sky) New Wave 80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

- 70 DI F F ERENT B EERS F ULL VE GA N & OMNI MENU S

open mic night SATURDAY 3/24

featuring dj jason lowe prince tribute night

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

friDAY 3/23

(The State Room) see p. 34 Honky Blue Tonky (O.P. Rockwell) JD Wilkes & The Legendary Shack Shakers Unplugged + Six Feet Deep In The Pine (Urban Lounge) Kitty & The Cruisers (The Barbary Coast) Lake Effect (The Bayou) Mountain Boogaloo (Garage on Beck) Mountain Town Music Fest (O.P. Rockwell) Natural Causes (Club 90) Noise Ordinance (The Beehive) Orphans Cabaret + Six Feet In The Pine (The Ice Haüs) Shannon Runyon (Legends at Park City Mountain) Simply B (Prohibition) Sister Wives (Pat’s BBQ) Stonefed (Hog Wallow) Uncle Reno + David Moon + DJ Nix Beat (Urban Lounge) Wild Country (Outlaw Saloon)

YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

Actors + Image Down (The Beehive) Bonanza Town (Lake Effect) Channel Z (The Union Tavern) The Cold Year + Mode Swings + Blond O-Sonics (The Underground) Colt .46 (The Westerner) Digisaurus (Piper Down) Elizabeth Hareza (Deer Valley) FlynnStones (Pat’s BBQ) Gloria Trevi Vs. Alejandra Guzman (Vivint Arena) see p. 36 Grizzly Goat + Pipes + Josh Snider + T.A.K. (Velour) Hell’s Belles + Thunderfist (O.P. Rockwell) see p. 34

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7 EAST 4800 SOUTH • 801-266-2127 OPEN 11AM WEEKDAYS - 10 AM WEEKENDS

MARCH 22, 2018 | 39

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

LIVE MUSIC

| CITY WEEKLY |

iya terra w/ project 432, tribe of I 4/6 electric radio kings 5/12 sammy j 5/25 tomorrow's bad seeds 6/8 hemlock 3/31

coming soon

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

40 | MARCH 22, 2018

MIXED EMOTIONS

RANDY HARWARD

BAR FLY

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It’s not the most auspicious name, Mixed Emotions, I think to myself while parked outside with time to kill before my buddy texts to say my choice of post-work watering hole is acceptable. “Yasss, I love that place,” Sarah writes. “You ever been there? You’re in for a treat.” As we enter the dive, our eyes adjusting to the low light make for a nice crossfade transition between the exterior and interior scenes. The open layout resembles a basement game room. Five customers congregate at the corner of the bar. The bartender, Kevin, hands us cans of Coors and we head off in search of a table, feeling a bit like Goldilocks trying out beds. The first three tables are too wobbly. Some chairs sit comically low. But a booth under the north window is just right. We drink and chat, pausing to return rented beer and, upon returning, forgetting where we left off because we noticed some awesomely dive-y thing in or en route to the restroom (like watered-down hand soap in an Ajax bottle that smells pretty darn good). We lament and love these things, but love prevails when Kevin replaces a spilt shot of Crown Royal free of charge. Now that’s service. Also, my hands smell great. (Randy Harward) 1030 S. State, 801-355-8055, bit.ly/2FDFu1M

Korene Greenwood (Harp & Hound) Live Trio (The Red Door) Metal Dogs (Brewskis) Natural Causes (Club 90) Physique + Zapp Brannigan + Who Killed Dat Boi? + Mulng + Buttweiser (Dis House) see p. 32 Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (The Spur) Riding Gravity + The Klaw + Hotel Le Motel (The Royal) RJD2 + Melvin Junko + German Wyoming (Metro Music Hall) Sadgirl + Bruiser Queen + Yak & The Sherpas (Kilby Court) see p. 38 Senses Fail + Reggie and the Full Effect + Have Mercy + Household (The Complex) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Stonefed (Hog Wallow) The Stone Tony’s (The Barbary Coast) SuperBubble (Garage on Beck) Twin Peaks + The Districts + Quiet Oaks (Urban Lounge)

Vista Kicks (Park City Mountain) Wild Country (Outlaw Saloon)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Après Ski (The Cabin) Burlesque & The Beats (Prohibition) DJ Dance Party (Club 90) DJ Ev (Downstairs) DJ Godina (The Ruin) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Joel (Twist) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Mr. Ramirez (Lake Effect) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Drew (Tavernacle) Gothic / Industrial / Dark ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Sky Saturdays w/ DJ Scene (Sky) Top 40/ EDM / Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51)

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-RAD (Club 90) Karaoke w/ Garett Walker (Touche Tavern)

SUNDAY 3/25

LIVE Music thursday, MARCH 22 $5 STEAK NIGHT @ 5PM EVERY THURSDAY karaoke w/ dj bekster 9p,m

friday, MARCH 23 NATE SPENCER AND RICHARD ROMERO ACOUSTIC DUO

saturday, MARCH 24 DJ LATU

thursday, MARCH 29

LIVE MUSIC

Alicia Stockman (Deer Valley) Enterprise Earth + Rivers Of Nihil + A Traitor’s Last Breath + Elysium (Metro Music Hall) Highball Train (Garage on Beck) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) The Regrettes + Mt. Eddy (Kilby Court) Sanction + Crow Killer + Establish + Witch Trial (The Beehive) Secret Drum Band + Sam Humans + It Foot It Ears + Lord British (Urban Lounge) Tim Daniels Band (Park City Mountain)

Après Ski (The Cabin)

KARAOKE

Affirmative Action Karaoke (Piper Down) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Club Jam) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

LIVE MUSIC

Weeknights monday

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KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke (Cheers To You SLC) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle)

MARCH 22, 2018 | 41

Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow) Open Mic (The Cabin)

| CITY WEEKLY |

Great food

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

$5 | 7:30PM

Every sunday

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Bruce Music (Park City Mountain) Buddy Guy & John Mayall + Quinn Sullivan (Eccles Theatre) Carlos Emjay (Canyons Village) The Casket Lottery + Souvenirs + Traveler’s Cold (Urban Lounge) Changing Lanes Experience (Covey Center for The Arts) Ex-Girlfriends + The Band Ice Cream + Martian Cult (Metro Music Hall) Layne + Selfish Things (Kilby Court) Midwife + Sympathy Pain + Durian Durian (Diabolical Records)

MONDAY 3/26

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

CHECK OUT ALL OF OUR EVENT PHOTOS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET/ PHOTOS

3.16-18 @ SLC TATTOO CONVENTION

| CITY WEEKLY |

42 | MARCH 22, 2018

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

TUESDAY 3/27

3.17 @ ST. PATRICK’S PARADE AFTER PARTY

A$AP Ferg + Denzel Curry + IDK + DJ Juggy (The Complex) Andrea Gibson + Chastity Brown (Kilby Court) Cameron Mercer (Park City Mountain) The Elliots (Piper Down) Freight Train Rabbit Killer (Garage on Beck) Nicholas Naioti + Extravision (Velour) The Proper Way (Canyons Village) Riley McDonald (The Spur) Secrets + Adashore + Allies Always Lie + Away At Lakeside (The Loading Dock) Talia Keys (Lake Effect) Tony Holiday + Ol Fashion Depot + Mythic Valley + Murphy & The Giant (Urban Lounge) Your Meteor + Panthermilk + Marny Lion Proudfit (Metro Music Hall)

Lifty Lounge w/ DJ Marty Paws (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic (The Royal)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke (The Barbary Coast) Karaoke (Keys on Main) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke w/ KJ Johnny Irish (Club 90)

WEDNESDAY 3/28 LIVE MUSIC

UPCOMING EVENTS

SPRING BEER FEST

MARCH 24TH, 2018

5PM - 9PM

AT UNION STATION, OGDEN

PINKY’S CABARET

CHECK OUT OUR NEW

LIVE MUSIC

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Adub + AZA + Ceelos + Jedi (Metro Music Hall) Andrea Gibson + Chastity Brown (Kilby Court) Bad Donkey (The Yes Hell) Carlos Emjay (Park City Mountain) Elliot & Gabriel (The Spur) The Nods + Sunchaser + Weird Stew (Urban Lounge) Simply B (Hog Wallow) SoMo (UCCU Center) Taylor Bennett + Kami + Melo Makes Music (The Complex) Triggers & Slips (Canyons Village)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Brisk (Downstairs) Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) Dueling Pianos feat. South & Arian (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (The Cabin) Open Mic (Sugar House Coffee)

BEST

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

MARCH 22, 2018 | 43

SUDOKU

| CITY WEEKLY |

Last week’s answers

36. Lavish 37. Psyched (up) 39. Ill-fated import that is the subject of a 2011 book subtitled “The Rise and Fall of the Worst Car in History” 40. Center of activity 44. Tells a pitcher “You’re throwing a nohitter!” while he’s throwing a no-hitter, say 45. One-named singer with the 2006 #1 hit “I Wanna Love You” DOWN 46. Harry Potter’s gift from Dumbledore 1. Elvis’ label that gave him the power of invisibility 2. 100% 47. Depend (on) 3. Western ____ (coll. course) 48. Like the Statue of Liberty’s crown 4. “What’s ____ for me?” 49. Groanworthy, as a joke 5. Trig function 53. Gusto 6. Thom ____ shoes 54. It’s “best known as the place where 7. Kutcher’s role on “That ‘70s Show” Napoleon (poor thing) was exiled to,” per 8. First lady? Lonely Planet 9. “That’s great news!” 10. Castro who delivered the keynote address 55. ____ song 57. Half-____ (coffee order) at the 2012 Democratic Convention 58. The only number whose letters are in 11. Less friendly reverse alphabetical order 12. Coveted tile in Scrabble 59. And so on: Abbr. 13. TV actresses Gilbert and Ramirez 60. Date 18. Humble reply to a compliment 61. Patriots’ goals, for short 21. Patron 22. Senior moment, e.g. 23. Baseball Hall-of-Fame pitcher Warren 24. Like Mount Rushmore at night 26. Tiara go-with 27. Italian city where St. Francis retired “to contemplate spiritual matters and be at one with nature,” per Lonely Planet 29. Choreographer Lubovitch 30. 1831 celestial event that Nat Turner took as a sign to revolt 31. Chevrolet : Chevy :: BMW : ____ 34. They help people keep a cool head, for short 35. Schneider’s “The Dukes of Hazzard” costar

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

57. He said “1-Across is a moral catastrophe” 62. “A Death in the Family” novelist 63. ____ Arbor, Mich. 64. Died down 65. Converse rival 66. Actress who admitted her child once saw Sarah Palin on TV and said “That’s mommy!” 67. Bass and others

1. The “it” of Barack Obama’s statement “We are not cured of it,” 6/19/2015 7. Comedy Central’s “____ and Peele” 10. Schooner sails 14. Mayo, e.g. 15. Actress Mendes 16. Its main campus borders Sunset Blvd. 17. He said “That’s one of the worst things about 1-Across -- what it does to young people” 19. One who’s not straight 20. They stay up all night on a camping trip 21. The rivalry between this Italian city “and Florence continues to this day,” per Lonely Planet 22. Shaq’s alma mater 25. She said “1-Across is still with us. But it is up to us to prepare our children for what they have to meet, and, hopefully, we shall overcome” 28. Cabinet Secretary in “Yes, Prime Minister” 32. “He’s like ____ to me” 33. Big house 34. Part of NBA: Abbr. 35. New Deal relief prog. 38. She said “1-Across is so universal in this country, so wide-spread, and deep-seated, that it is invisible because it is so normal” 41. Med. specialist whose title stands for three body parts 42. Radio’s “____ in the Morning” 43. Make more powerful, as an engine 44. Emailed pic, often 45. Military post where people are plane spoken? 46. He said “We treat 1-Across in this country like it’s a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps” 50. Seminary deg. 51. Eric Cartman’s mom on “South Park” 52. Moves like molasses 56. Cameo stone

RACISM

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ACROSS

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

44 | MARCH 22, 2018

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SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 189901222, JUDGE AMBER METTLER. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. PAUL CRUZ, DEFENDANT. THE STATE OF UTAH TO PAUL CRUZ: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $592.50. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

WE ARE HIRING HIRING KITCHEN HELPER, (hourly & salaried), LINE COOK, DISH WASHER $10-$15 PER HOUR; SERVERS $3-$5 PER HOUR PLUS TIPS. FULL AND PART TIME AVAILABLE! STUDENTS ARE WELCOME.

SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 159903409, JUDGE ANDREW H STONE. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. GUADALUPE SALAZAR AND PHOENIX TAGGART, DEFENDANTS. THE STATE OF UTAH TO GUADALUPE SALAZAR: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $3,427.18. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 189900901, JUDGE ROBERT FAUST. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. MIREYA BARRON AND ROSABELIA NEVAREZ, DEFENDANTS. THE STATE OF UTAH TO MIREYA BARRON: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $9,233.29. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 189902532, JUDGE KENT HOLMBERG. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. ANIVA TEO AND REID PULEGA, DEFENDANTS. THE STATE OF UTAH TO REID PULEGA: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $12,324.20. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 189902583, JUDGE ANDREW H STONE. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC, PLAINTIFF V. DESTINY LENABURG, DEFENDANT. THE STATE OF UTAH TO DESTINY LENABURG: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84111, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff ’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $729.75. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

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Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The “School of Hard Knocks” is an old-fashioned idiom referring to the unofficial and accidental course of study available via life’s tough experiences. The wisdom one gains through this alternate approach to education might be equal or even superior to the knowledge that comes from a formal university or training program. I mention this, Aries, because in accordance with astrological omens, I want to confer upon you a diploma for your new advanced degree from the School of Hard Knocks. (P.S.: When Ph.D. students get their degrees from Finland’s University of Helsinki, they are given top hats and swords as well as diplomas. I suggest you reward yourself with exotic props, too.)

your commitments. You’ll stir up interesting challenges if you consider the possibility of entering into more disciplined and dynamic unions with worthy partners. Do you trust your own perceptions and insights to guide you toward ever-healthier alliances? Do what you must to muster that trust.

Director, Engineering Practice, Teradata Operations, Inc., South Jordan, UT: Provide tech & mng leadership to eng. team that dsgn & dev. path breaking large-scale cluster data prcos’g sys. REQS: BS or foreign equi in CS, Software Eng or a rel. & 10 yrs prog post-bacc exp. or MS or foreign equi in CS, Software Eng or a rel. & 8 yrs exp. Must include Java & Python; Linux, SQL, relational DB dsgn & methods; Bldg complex & non-inter. sys; JMS; Prog. high throughput messaging middleware. Must include 3 yrs industry exp. in Hadoop, HBase, Hive, Pig, NoSQL & MapReduce; Lucene or similar; Sizing & estimating new projects; Handling lg scale projects & mng software eng teams. Travel reqd up to 40%. Any suitable combo of edu, training, or exp is acceptable. TO APPLY: Please apply by email to STAFF.TDPM@Teradata.com (Job Number - 200128)

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 45

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you want people to know who you really are and savor you for your unique beauty, you must be honest with those people. You must also develop enough skill to express your core truths with accuracy. There’s a similar principle at work if you want to know who you really are and savor yourself for your unique beauty: You must be honest with yourself. You must also develop enough skill to express your core truths with accuracy. The coming weeks will TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Europeans used to think that all swans were white. It was a rea- be a favorable time for you to practice these high arts. sonable certainty given the fact that all swans in Europe were that color. But in 1697, Dutch explorer Willem de Vlamingh and his SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): sailors made a pioneering foray to the southwestern coast of the Your journey in the coming weeks might be as weird as an land we now call Australia. As they sailed up a river the indigenous R-rated telenovela, but with more class. Outlandish, unpretribe called Derbarl Yerrigan, they spied black swans. They were dictable and even surreal events could occur, but in such a way shocked. The anomalous creatures invalidated an assumption as to uplift and educate your soul. Labyrinthine plot twists will based on centuries of observations. Today, a “black swan” is be medicinal as well as entertaining. As the drama gets curia metaphor referring to an unexpected event that contravenes oser and curioser, my dear Scorpio, I expect you will learn how prevailing theories about the way the world works. I suspect you’ll to capitalize on the odd opportunities it brings. In the end, you soon experience such an incongruity yourself. It might be a good will be grateful for this ennobling respite from mundane reality! thing! Especially if you welcome it instead of resisting it. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Crayola is one of the world’s foremost crayon manufacturers. human existence,” philosopher Erich Fromm wrote. I would add The geniuses in charge of naming its crayon colors are playful a corollary for your rigorous use during the last nine months of and imaginative. Among the company’s standard offerings, for 2018: “Love is the only effective and practical way to graduate example, are Pink Sherbet, Carnation Pink, Tickle Me Pink, from your ragged, long-running dilemmas and start gathering a Piggy Pink, Pink Flamingo and Shocking Pink. Oddly, how- new crop of fresh, rousing challenges.” By the way, Fromm said ever, there is no color that’s simply called “pink.” I find that a bit love is more than a warm and fuzzy feeling in our hearts. It’s a credisturbing. As much as I love extravagant creativity and poetic ative force that fuels our willpower and unlocks hidden resources. whimsy, I think it’s also important to cherish and nurture the basics. In accordance with the astrological omens, that’s my CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): advice for you in the coming weeks. Experiment with fanciful My goal here is to convince you to embark on an orgy of self-care— to be as sweet and tender and nurturing to yourself as you dare to fun, but not at the expense of the fundamentals. be. If that influences you to go too far in providing yourself with luxurious necessities, I’m OK with it. And if your solicitous efforts CANCER (June 21-July 22): According to Vice magazine, Russian scientist Anatoli to focus on your own health and well-being make you appear a bit Brouchkov is pleased with the experiment he tried. He injected self-indulgent or narcissistic, I think it’s an acceptable price to pay. himself with 3.5-million-year-old bacteria that his colleagues Here are more key themes for you in the coming weeks: basking had dug out of the permafrost in Siberia. The infusion of this in the glow of self-love; exulting in the perks of your sanctuary; ancient life form, he says, enhanced his energy and strength- honoring the vulnerabilities that make you interesting. ened his immune system. I can’t vouch for the veracity of his claim, but I do know this: It’s an apt metaphor for possibilities AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): you could take advantage of in the near future: drawing on an One day, Beatles’ guitarist George Harrison decided to compose old resource to boost your power, for example, or calling on a his next song’s lyrics “based on the first thing I saw upon opening any book.” He viewed this as a divinatory experiment, as a quest well-preserved part of the past to supercharge the present. to incorporate the flow of coincidence into his creative process. The words he found in the first book were “gently weeps.” They LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Booze has played a crucial role in the development of civilization, became the seed for his tune “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” says biomolecular archaeologist Patrick McGovern. The process Rolling Stone magazine ultimately named it one of “The Greatest of creating this mind-altering staple was independently discov- Songs of All Time” and the 10th best Beatle song. In accordance ered by many different cultures, usually before they invented with the astrological omens, I recommend you try some divinatory writing. The buzz it provides has “fired our creativity and fos- experiments of your own in the coming weeks. Use life’s fun little tered the development of language, the arts and religion.” synchronicities to generate playful clues and unexpected guidance. On the downside, excessive consumption of alcohol has led to millions of bad decisions and has wrecked countless lives. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Everything I just said is a preface to my main message, Leo: Millions of you Pisceans live in a fairy tale world. But I suspect The coming weeks will be a favorable time to transform your that very few of you will be able to read this horoscope and habitual perspective, but only if you do so safely and construc- remain completely ensconced in your fairy tale world. That’s tively. Whether you choose to try intoxicants, wild adventures, because I have embedded subliminal codes in these words that will at least temporarily transform even the dreamiest among exhilarating travel or edgy experiments, know your limits. you into passionate pragmatists in service to your feistiest ideals. If you’ve read this far, you are already feeling more VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The astrological omens suggest that the coming weeks will disciplined and organized. Soon you’ll be coming up with new be favorable for making agreements, pondering mergers and schemes about how to actually materialize a favorite fairy tale in strengthening bonds. You’ll be wise to deepen at least one of the form of real-life experiences.

Senior Data Engineer, Teradata Operations, Inc., South Jordan, UT: help clients define Big Data analytics strategy, arch. & impl road maps, & bring to life revolutionary new analytics & insights. REQS: BS or foreign equi in CS, Eng or rel. & 5 yr prog., postbacc. industry exp. OR MS or foreign equi in CS, Eng or rel. & 3 yrs industry exp. incl. Programming in Java/ Python/Scala; Prod. software dev; UNIX; capturing & representing real-time binary or struc. data streams; SQL, NoSQL, relational DB dsgn & methods; bldg visualizations & UI. Any suitable combo of edu, training, or exp is acceptable. TO APPLY: Please apply by email to STAFF.TDPM@ Teradata.com (Job Number 200130)

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46 | MARCH 22, 2018

URBAN L I V I N

Sr. Systems Implementation Analyst sought by SS&C Technologies, Inc. in Salt Lake City, Utah to define complex product and process automation requirements based on deep domain knowledge, product knowledge and client input. Travel required to other SS&C Technologies facilities and client sites in order to capture client requirements and conduct user training sessions. Apply at https://careers.ssctech.com, select SEARCH JOBS and sort by Job Title and apply, or send resume and cover letter to Jennifer Starrs, Talent Acquisition Manager, SS&C Technologies, Inc., 80 Lamberton Rd., Windsor, CT 06095 and reference job number 2430 in cover letter.

Project Manager needed w/Masters Deg or Foreign Equiv in Electrical & Electronics Engg or Electronic Engg or Comp Sci or Comp Engg & 1 yr exp in job offered or Bach’s deg or Foreign Equiv in Electrical & Electronics Engg or Electronic Engg or Comp Science or Comp Engg & 5 yrs of progressive work exp as Project Mgr or Sr. Project Mgr performing following job duties: Interact w/ dvlpmt team for reqmts gathering, dsgn, dvlpmt, integrating existing systems & defining testing cycles. Dvlp, maintain & track comprehensive project plans using MS Project & SDLC agile s/ware dvlpmt process. Plan, organize, direct & coord s/ware dvlpmt projects on JAVA, IBM Websphere & Bit Bucket on IBM Mainframes platform using MVS & COBOL II. Integrate w/ existing systems built on JCL / VSAM. Create process & Data Models for data enrichment using SAS & EZ Trieve. Manage dvlpmt & maintenance of Relational Data Stores using DB2. Dsgn, dvlp, code & test s/ware applications using Open Source LMS, MOSS technologies, Cornerstone on Demand, Moodle LMS & Oracle R12 infrastructure. Coord training delivery prgms in line w/ product/ platform launch activities at client to ensure successful adoptions of the end product. Mail res to: Innovecture LLC 473 Lana Ct., Draper, UT 84020 Job Locations: Draper, UT or client sites across the U.S. Must be available to travel & relocate to client sites for temporary projects.

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com Trustee, Utah Transit Authority

It’s a Yotel!

Software Engineer needed w/ Masters Deg or Foreign Equiv in Instrumentation & Control Engg or Electrical & Electronic Engg or Comp Sci or Comp Engg & 1 yr exp in job offer or Bach’s deg or Foreign Equiv in Instrumentation & Control Engg or Electrical & Electronic Engg or Comp Sci or Comp Engg & 5 yrs of progressive work exp as S/ware Engr or Technology Lead or in any IT Profession performing following job duties: Gather Business Reqmts, analyze & translate into functional reqmts. Create high level dsgn & implmt to dvlp s/ ware applications based on Java, J2EE, JDBC, Threads, JSP, JSP Custom Tags, AJAX, jQuery, JSTL, JNDI,JMS, XML, XSL/XSLT, Log4j, SQL , PL/SQL & JSON using Struts & Spring MVC industry standard frameworks. Write DDL, DML statements, Stored Procedures, Functions & triggers for business specific operation in Sybase & Oracle using AquaData Studio & DbArtisan. Deploy & release mgmt of code changes & bug fixes. Perform functional, system & integration testing of developed code. Resolve user issues raised via JIRA & SRS ticketing tools. Provide timely response & resolution. Mail res to: Innovecture LLC 473 Lana Ct., Draper, UT 84020 Job Locations: Draper, UT or client sites across the U.S. Must be available to travel & relocate to client sites for temporary projects.

You’ve most likely been to a hotel or a motel. But how about a Yotel? It’s a micro hotel room that’s designed for super high functionality with communal areas and amenities such as a 24/7 gym; bike, golf or ski gear storage; Amazon lockers; laundry; home cinema; library and a lounge to meet friends or colleagues. The YotelPad living concept is about to arrive in Park City, joining such exotic locales as Dubai and Geneva Lake, Switzerland. YO! Company operates international travel housing in cities and airports including London’s Gatwick and Heathrow, Paris’ Charles de Gaulle and Amsterdam’s Schiphol. I hate and love this company because I had been thinking of this concept for years but then they figured it out first. Founder Simon Woodroffe loved his stays at Japanese capsule hotels, and in 2011 he opened Yotel in Times Square, with 699 rooms that are 170 square feet each. He’s the guy who pioneered electronic checkin (no person at the front desk) and created the Yobot, a robotic luggage concierge that is a tourist attraction all by itself. The rooms are soundproof and have smart sensors to turn off lights or air conditioning and heat. I’ve had friends stay there and they love it, because who spends time in a hotel room in NYC? It’s a big deal that Park City is getting this kind of nightly housing option—even more so because you can buy a room. Deer Valley Real Estate (Berkshire Hathaway Home Services), Replay Destinations and Yotel partnered together to create one of the first YotelPad projects in North America at the Canyons Village at the bottom of Park City Mountain. They took reservations through March 16 from those interested in purchasing a Pad for between $275,000 and $325,000. The 144 Pads are still under construction, and will feature common areas befitting a resort lifestyle: fireplace and fire pit areas, kids zone and a terrace, an outdoor pool and hot tub. Each micro unit will have a kitchenette, big view windows and valet service for guests. According to Zillow, condo prices in Park City list at $656 per square foot. If you purchase a 170-square-foot YotelPad in our mountains at, say, $300,000, the price would be $1,765 per square foot. If you didn’t make the deadline to purchase your own, Yotel allows owners to do nightly VRBO/AirBNB rentals. You, your friends or family might be renting one of these in the future. n

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Poets Corner Returning Beat

Crumpled clothes Wrinkled Frayed pant legs Torn back pocket Flashing eyes Black But not from the lack Of imagination A silent stone In cold Resistance Defiance rising...

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The Weirdo-American Community A co-ed dormitory at Hunter College in New York City has become the site of a dispute between the college and 32-year-old Lisa S. Palmer, who won’t vacate her dorm room despite having discontinued her classes in 2016. Palmer, who works for an architecture firm, has “racked up a staggering $94,000 in unpaid residence hall charges,” a lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court noted. The New York Post reported on Feb. 28 that in June 2016 and fall 2017, she received eviction notices, but she won’t budge. Palmer admitted that dorm life is “really lonely. I feel very isolated.” Palmer was moved into a wing of the dorm that’s occupied only by a middle-aged nurse, whom the college is also trying to evict. In fact, Hunter is working on removing nine nurses, who were given rooms in the building when it was owned by Bellevue Hospital.

WEIRD

Only in Texas Ana Lisa Garza, a Starr County district judge in south Texas, is running for a state House seat in District 31. Garza has received almost $90,000 in contributions to her campaign, but more than $50,000 of that has been in a most unusual currency: deer semen. Deer breeder Fred Gonzalez, treasurer of the Texas Deer Association, said breeders often donate semen “straws” instead of money: “Semen is a very common way for us to donate. One collection on a buck could lead to 60 straws sometimes. If you have a desirable animal, it’s a way to bring value without breaking the bank.” A campaign finance report valued each straw donated at $1,000. Gonzalez told The Dallas Morning News that the semen donated for Garza’s campaign went into a semen tank sold in one lot, the proceeds of which will go to the campaign.

n KTAR News in Phoenix reported that Peoria Police Department officers were called to a gas station Feb. 23 in response to a shoplifting. When they arrived, suspects Marwan Al Ebadi, 28, and Salma Hourieh, 29, set off on foot before hopping over a fence—directly into a secured parking lot of the Peoria Police Department. Hourieh tried to

If It Ain’t Broke ... Republican State Sen. John Ruckelshaus of Indianapolis is the proud sponsor of a new measure in Indiana that bans eyeball tattooing. According to the proposed law, passed by both the Senate and the House, tattooists would be prohibited from coloring the whites of a customer’s eyes, with a fine of up to $10,000 per violation. The Associated Press reported that Sen. Ruckelshaus admitted he’s not aware of any problems with eyeball-tattooing in Indiana. The legislation was on Gov. Eric Holcomb’s desk for his signature on March 1.

Garden Gnomes

Babs De Lay

Broker/Owner 801-201-8824 babs@urbanutah.com www.urbanutah.com

Selling homes for 34 years in the Land of Zion

Full Disclosure Linda Fein and her husband thought they had found their dream home in Paradise Valley, near Phoenix. They offered $1.8 million for the house and 1.3-acre lot, but then found out the house belonged to Kevin and Sandra Otterson and was the setting for their pornography website, Wifey’s World, founded in 1998. “I just can’t make Thanksgiving dinner on counters where a porn star has been lounging around,” Fein told The Arizona Republic. In late February, the couple rescinded their offer on the four-bedroom home. “I certainly believe there are people out there who wouldn’t care about the house being used for those purposes,” Fein explained. “I’m just not one of them.” Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

Realtor 801-784-8618 bella@urbanutah.com

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Unclear on the Concept Even before it opened last year, Apple’s spaceship building in Cupertino, Calif., presented a transparency problem: Its glass walls couldn’t be distinguished from its glass doors, and since moving in on Jan. 2, several workers have been injured after walking into them. The San Francisco Chronicle reported three people suffered head injuries severe enough to summon emergency responders. Apple’s vice president of real estate and development, Dan Whisenhunt, told the local Rotary Club in January there hadn’t been any problems with birds flying into the glass. “Now the humans on the inside, that’s a different story,” he said. “That’s a problem we are working on right now.” Architects have added black rectangular stickers to the glass panes, which seem to be helping. Last Chapter Houston detectives were finally able to close a case in January that had been vexing them for 30 months. Mary Stewart Cerruti, 61, the last holdout in a neighborhood being bought up for redevelopment, was reported missing in August 2015 by a friend, who described her as shy and frail, the Houston Chronicle detailed. However, police had no leads, and her home was foreclosed on after payments stopped. Eventually, the home was cleaned out and sold, and new renters moved in. On March 4, 2017, a 911 call reported a human skeleton “between two of the walls” in the home. When police arrived, they found a hole in the attic floorboards and down below were the bones, clothing and shoes that had been discovered. An investigation found no evidence of foul play. On Jan. 23, the Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences confirmed the remains were those of Cerruti.

Julie “Bella” De Lay

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MARCH 22, 2018 | 47

Least Competent Criminals Caught red-handed: Leahman G.R. Potter, 48, neglected to conceal the evidence after he stole a pot of meatballs from a neighbor’s garage in Hazle Township in Pennsylvania. The meatball owner returned home Feb. 26 to find Potter outside his garage, covered in red sauce, and his meatball pot missing, according to United Press International. When Pennsylvania State Police arrived shortly afterward, they found the pot in the street and Potter at his home, where he was charged with burglary, trespass and theft.

Awesome! Name recognition won’t be a problem for the Libertarian Party challenger for eastern Arkansas’ 1st Congressional District seat: Elvis D. Presley. The Associated Press reported that the King impersonator from Star City, Ark., who legally changed his name to match the rock ’n’ roll icon’s (although the “real” Elvis’ middle initial was A), filed campaign paperwork on Feb. 26. Presley works as an auto refinish technician at Camp’s Custom Paint in Star City, but his political ambitions aren’t new: He’s also run for governor, land commissioner and state legislature.

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n Miami resident Luce Rameau didn’t know what hit her on Feb. 28 as she lay in bed, talking on the phone. She thought a bomb had gone off as wood and debris fell on her bed. “I kept screaming, ‘What happened? What happened?’” Rameau told the Miami Herald. It wasn’t a bomb; an 80-pound inflatable raft had crashed through her roof after becoming untethered from a Royal Canadian Air Force search-and-rescue helicopter that had been conducting an offshore training exercise nearby. David Lavallee, a spokesman for the RCAF, said the accident is being investigated and the air force intends to help “the resident with accommodations and other support.” Rameau suffered only minor injuries.

hide beneath a bench outside the station, while Al Ebadi jumped back over the fence and was stopped in the street. Both were arrested and charged with shoplifting. “You should never run from the police,” said police spokesman Brandon Sheffert, “and if you do, do not run into a secure parking lot of a police station.”

We sell homes to all saints, sinners, sisterwives and...

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Oops Kenny Bachman, 21, had a rude awakening when he racked up a $1,636 Uber fare on Feb. 23 following a night of partying with high school friends in Morgantown, W.Va. The Charlotte Observer reported that Bachman and the friend he planned on staying with stopped at a convenience store during the evening. The friend told Bachman to wait outside as he went into the store, but Bachman was gone when the friend emerged. He had summoned an Uber to take him home—to Gloucester County, N.J. Bachman was passed out for most of the nearly 300-mile trip, which was subject to surge pricing, doubling the fare. Bachman challenged the charge but ended up paying the full fare; “I feel like there’s very little I could have done to reverse it,” he said.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

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