City Weekly January 30, 2025

Paths to Parenthood

Embryo donation and other blends of fertilization and adoption help Utah couples to expand their families.

BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL

S AP

BOX

No Tax On Tips

During last year’s presidential campaign, Donald Trump and Kamala Harris seemed to disagree on quite a few things. One thing they agreed on— Trump reiterated his position in Las Vegas on January 26—is that the federal government should stop demanding income tax payments on tips.

Allow me to be ... well, probably far from the first ... person to say what a wonderful idea that is.

Usually the phrase “bipartisan agreement” raises the hairs on the back

of my neck. When politicians from both “major parties” agree on something, anything, it’s usually terrible news for the rest of us. “Bipartisanship” has given us everything from the warfare state to the surveillance state to the federal government’s “Make America East Germany Again” immigration approach.

But if we’re going to have taxes (we shouldn’t), and if we’re going to have income tax (we shouldn’t), and if that income tax excludes a gift of up to $19,000 per year per recipient (which it does), then common sense tells us that your 15% gift to a restaurant server or your $5 gift to a delivery worker, etc. shouldn’t be taxed.

What are tips? They’re not part of the purchase price. You don’t have to give them, in any amount or at all.

They’re. Gifts.

But the federal government wants to have it both ways. If I put $19,000 in a box under your Christmas tree—no tax. If I add $1.90 to the cost of the burger you serve me—tax.

Libertarians have long recognized this scam for exactly what it is. Advocates for Self Government even offer a handy dandy card for libertarians to leave with their cash gifts: “This is not a tip! This is a gift! It is not remuneration for employment nor compensation for services. It is a gift—from me to you. As a gift, it is not taxable income.”

Since I expect this policy proposal to take a little while (if it passes at all), I just ordered myself a supply.

I already make an extra effort to tip in cash rather than on a card so that hopefully my tips won’t be reported or taxed. So should you.

Ending the scam is a great idea. It’s basic decency and execution of the clear meaning of the Internal Revenue Code vis a vis “gifts.”

Naturally, some disagree. But they have to torture logic beyond repair to justify their disagreement, I say.

At CNN, Alejandra Jaramillo, Kevin Liptak, and Tami Luhby whine that ending taxation of tips would be “cost-

ly.” Citing Republican members of the House Budget Committee, they claim it would “cost $106 billion over 10 years.”

That claim requires a complete redefinition of the word “cost.”

The government taking less of your money doesn’t “cost” them that revenue difference, any more than me not burglarizing your house “costs” me a TV. Your money and your TV are yours, not the government’s or mine.

Taxation, not non-taxation, represents “cost.”

The actual “cost” of eliminating income tax on tips would total $0.00.

Consider calling your congresscritter to clarify that point.

THOMAS L. KNAPP

The William Lloyd Garrison Center for Libertarian Advocacy Journalism

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

What is your favorite meme?

Bryan Bale

Some of my favorites are those involving Medieval or Renaissance art, especially those that make use of “Self-portrait of the Artist in the Guise of a Mocker” by Joseph Ducreux. These usually feature song lyrics (most often rap) “translated” into Elizabethan-era English. I made a few of these myself.

I’ve also made some originals. For

fans of Star Trek and Guns N’ Roses:

PRIVATE EYE

BY JOHN SALTAS

La Migra

In the mid-70s, I was a full-time student at the University of Utah, paying for schooling as a full-time blackjack dealer in Wendover, Nevada. I went to class Monday through Thursday, then drove to Wendover on Thursday afternoon to begin dealing shifts, putting in 40 hours in four days. I’d drive home late Sunday night, catch some sleep, then start over with the books Monday morning.

I was one of the youngest dealers in town, my co-workers comprising the most eclectic mix of people I’ve ever been around. From good-natured scoundrels to young mothers, from dealers on their last legs who had been booted from every other casino in Nevada to a bevy of equally lost Southern fellows who could have walked off the set of The Flim-Flam Man. I was never far from someone zany, funny or flat-out smart.

On any other night I could learn how to properly fire a M60 machine gun while strapped into a Huey over Vietnam, debate who was more correct—Einstein or Bohr—regarding quantum theory, be shown desert survival techniques, admit to UFO sightings, or be led to where artifacts left by the peoples who lived on the shores of old Lake Bonneville thousands of years ago could still be found. At one turn, I could discuss the author Thomas Wolfe, then be pivoted to a John Coltrane listening session.

It in was Wendover where I first met government conspiracy freaks—the bedrock of what became the Tea Party—when President Ronald Reagan began taxing tips. That was zany. It’s small wonder that Trump made eliminating tips a campaign pledge. It wasn’t about the people

though, he just wanted the votes and got them in Nevada.

Among my best friends in Wendover, though, were the immigrants. And I became pals with many young men who had travelled north to find work. We got along famously—they even taught me Spanish.

They were the janitors, the barbacks and the busboys while their wives, sisters or girlfriends worked as waitresses and maids. They didn’t take anyone’s job. There were hardly any people living in Wendover in the first place, certainly not scores of people looking to fold blankets or fill ice bins.

There was a house that a number of them shared and I’d go by to sit on the porch and have beers with them. We’d laugh and sing like crazy and I learned the song “Cielito Lindo.” The well-known chorus to it begins “ay ay ay ay canta y no llores”—sing, don’t cry. I can attest they did sing and they did not cry.

One Friday, I was walking into the casino when there, being led out in handcuffs, was my buddy Jesus, taller than most of the rest, with a red long-sleeved shirt, a tight afro and a small mustache above his wry smile. He was in the arms of immigration officers, “La Migra,” who were escorting him to their vehicle prior to sending him back from whence he came.

I said, “hey, wait, leave him alone, he hasn’t done anything wrong, we need him and … .” That’s about the time one of the officers got dead zero in my face and asked me for ID and said if I didn’t have any, I’d go off too, with “your Mexican buddy.”

Jesus just kind of laughed and told me in Spanish, “Don’t worry, Juan. I’ll be back Monday.”

Then he was gone. Everyone was scrambling, but not panicked, not even the Mexican workers who were not picked up. Turns out that most everyone knew Immigration was coming, but poor Jesus and a few others never got the memo to stay away from work or to gather at a predetermined hiding spot outside of town.

I was told it was the casino who tipped off the workers. It was plain as day that without them, the casino couldn’t keep its lights on. There seemed to be an uneasy alliance between the casino and the immigration agencies that allowed them to make it seem like everyone was doing their job. I couldn’t do much, so I finished my weekend, went to school, then returned for my first shift of the week the following Thursday.

And who should be there to greet me but Jesus! I was thrilled to see him, such a good and pleasant guy. He told me he had indeed been driven to Mexico. Then, with a payment of $1,000 to someone to let him back in (his indication was that people on both sides of the border split that money), he was soon provided transportation back to Wendover. He never missed a shift.

On the rare day I do go to Wendover for some gummies or something, I nearly always see one of my old friends. They’re now the bosses, slot managers, security chiefs and all the rest. Wendover has been good to those young men, many of whom hailed from the Mexican state of Zacatecas, from whence they fled due to few opportunities or flat-out corruption which kept them on the lowest rungs of society.

I see that ICE is on the round-up now, only better armed and meaner. It can only be that way when people like Kristi Noem, our new head of Homeland Security, label all immigrants as “dirtbags.”

But we know Kristi. She is just talking about the Southof-the-Border variety of immigrants—not the Trump family of similar composition. ICE will show up where the cameras are, but won’t disrupt Utah’s Republican farmers like Gov. Spencer Cox, who would never himself hire a “criminal.”

Nor would he ever sit on a porch with a young Mexican boy and sing, “ay ay ay ay, canta y no llores.”

Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

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HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele

HIT: Safe Schools

We’re starting out with some “good” news this week, although the good is mostly aspirational. The Salt Lake School District took the extraordinary step of informing parents that they’ve got their backs—sort of. The message from on high is that your president and his minions are coming after you or your friends or your family. The district told staff to contact its lawyer if immigration officials wanted access to a child. Parents should have their contact information ready, and counselors are ready to mediate stress. “Undocumented children and young adults still have the same right to attend public primary and secondary schools as U.S. citizens and permanent residents,” the district wrote on Jan. 21. But what about everyone else? Many of you have likely seen, as I have, children who are citizens refusing to go back to school out of fear. As our president knows, fear is the great motivator.

MISS: In the Cloud

If you’ve ever looked up to the sky, you may have seen a vapor trail streaming from behind an airplane. Most people will shrug and some are delighted, because someone paid to skywrite a message of love or excitement. But now, in the age of conspiratorial Trumpism, we’ve got legislators hoping to ban that vapor because, as Health Secretary nominee RFK Jr. says, it’s “kind of frightening to think that somebody may be putting large amounts of bioavailable aluminum into the environment, spraying it in microscopic particulates from airplanes.” The nonsense has filtered down to the Utah legislature, where Roosevelt Republican Sen. Ron Winterton proposes SB126, Airborne Chemicals Amendments, in which he openly worries about “weather geoengineering.” It prohibits the release of some kinds of substances from aircraft and asks people to report instances. In case you haven’t heard, “solar radiation management” must be a big concern, too. Mother Nature is forewarned.

MISS: Dorm Norms

When a female college student felt “uncomfortable” living near a transgender resident assistant, the school reassigned her to another suite. Problem solved, right? Absolutely not. Former Salt Lake police officer Eric Moutsos, who identifies as male, decided to take up the issue on, of course, the safest of all social media apps, X-Twitter. It’s unclear why Moutsos felt compelled to step in, but he managed to set off a firestorm of hateful anonymous emails and ultimately, new legislation to protect women from this nonexistent threat. While Rep. Stephanie Gricius, R-Eagle Mountain, seemed to be trying to ameliorate the issue, she and her Republican colleagues are not about to leave policies on female housing spaces up to universities. The ACLU says the obvious reason for the bill is to “erase trans people from public life.” Never mind that the real threat to women is the toxic masculinity taking root in the country. CW

BY BILL FROST

Eat It, SoSaLa

In December, it was announced that Salt Lake County will move its government headquarters in 2026 from 2100 South and State Street to the former Overstock/Beyond Inc. building in Midvale.

An internal review determined that it would be cheaper to buy a newer office space in “the heart of the valley” than to renovate the currently 40-year-old county offices.

It can be argued that Midvale is an entirely different body part than “the heart,” but there’s something more important at play here: State Street is going to end up with yet another empty building.

State Street has more abandoned structures than the entire first season of The Last of Us, and we can’t even blame it on a global fungal pandemic (in case you’ve forgotten what that HBO series is about since it’s been, like, 15 years between seasons). Some have been torn down, most are still standing, and I’m certain one is being used to host secret raves.

I’m not saying it’s Coachman’s, but I’m not not saying it.

It’s clear that State Street has a vacant building problem, and I’m here to solve it—at least for my neighborhood in South Salt Lake (a.k.a. “the underboob of the valley”).

Over the past several years, the intersection of 2100 South and State Street has transformed from a decent place to get stabbed and/or solicit a sex worker (you could even do both on any random Tuesday) to a fastfood mecca of Draperian proportions. Since I’d rather be knifed by a prostitute than ever set foot in Draper, this bounty of quick eats is a convenience windfall for me as a SoSaLa resident and indiscriminate gourmand.

To the southeast, there’s Starbucks, Domino’s, and Cafe Rio. To the southwest lie 7-Eleven, Raising Cane’s, Chipotle and a brand new In-N-Out Burger. To the northwest, you have Subway, Jack in the Box and Del Taco. (South Salt Lake officials might huff that the northern corners don’t count because it’s technically in Salt Lake City, but I have a point to make, so I’m just going to steamroll forward.)

And on the northeast corner of 2100 South and State Street? That’s the big ol’ soon-to-be-empty Salt Lake County building. Opportunity awaits, franchisers!

Hear me out: We have the chance to create a fast-food Voltron in South Salt Lake if we but only believe. Imagine, if you will, a glorious munchies multiplex made up of White Castle, Long John Silver’s, Wahlburgers, Voodoo Doughnut, Shakey’s Pizza Parlor and whatever other Utah-absent chains we can trick … er, incentivize … to come here.

Yes, it can feature a dirty soda shop, too, if that’ll get the deal done.

Let’s make South Salt Lake fat again! MSSLFA! CW

Separation Anxiety

How to create a new relationship with art when you can no longer support its creator.

BY BRYAN YOUNG comments@cityweekly.net

With more and more of our favorite artists publicly turning into monsters, it’s getting difficult to know where the line needs to be drawn in separating the art from the artist. It used to be easy. You didn’t have to know anything about an artist or hear about them at all, and could just enjoy art as you encountered it. However, with the age of the internet, social media, tabloids and 24-hour news coverage of celebrity bowel movements (thanks TMZ!), we are much more intimate with details of the private lives of these artists—both in terms of their opinions, and the horrible deeds they may have committed. That means we’re asked to draw a moral line between what behavior

Big Shiny Robot

we’re willing to financially support by consuming their art, and what we’ll avoid by abstaining from it, no matter how much their art might have meant to us in the past.

The most recent prominent example, of course, is Neil Gaiman. Gaiman has been one of my favorite writers for a long time. He cut his teeth in comics writing the DC Comics series The Sandman and co-wrote, along with Terry Pratchett, Good Omens, and books like American Gods and Anansi Boys. He wrote Coraline and reimagined The Jungle Book in a cemetery as the wildly popular The Graveyard Book . He’s written some of the best episodes of Doctor Who, and he’s been an inspirational teacher of writers. More than that, he exhibited a façade of feminism and progressive idealism, with a soft voice that eschewed toxic masculinity. He was a beacon of positivity in a world that wanted to tear itself apart.

Beneath that charming surface, unfortunately, lurked a secret.

Gaiman’s been fairly credibly accused of awful behavior—not just an instance or two, but a pattern of behavior of using his status and power to sexually assault women for years. Reading the most recent article—to which he responded, and didn’t really deny in any meaningful way—was enough to make my stomach turn.

I don’t want to give him more of my money. I can’t erase the joy and lessons his work gave me to this point, but I don’t have to support him any further.

It’s the same line I drew with J.K. Rowling after she came out as a raging transphobe on the internet, continually supporting bigoted, anti-trans causes financially and silencing those who would point it out.

I don’t need to contribute another cent to her, since I know she’s going to continue to use her money to victimize others with the proceeds.

But what about long-dead artists like Alfred Hitchcock? In the years since his passing, Tippi Hedren has spoken about the abuse she allegedly suffered at his hands. According to Hedren, he ruined her career because she refused his sexual advances. This is definitely something that would force me to rethink supporting new Hitchcock pictures. Or what about the beloved children’s author Roald Dahl and his well-documented antisemitism?

For me, I think the line can be drawn where an artist is gone and can neither benefit financially nor further abuse anyone else or propagate harm. My consumption of their art can no longer enable them. My support is immaterial at that point.

Really, there’s no such thing as “ethical consumption” under capitalism, and there is likely to be a monster who benefits somewhere on the chain of consumption for just about anything

you might buy. And the more expensive that good was to make or process, the more likely that is.

The best thing you can do in any case is to support local artists. Even if a local artist turns out to be horrible, at least the money you spent supporting them stayed in your community.

It seems important to note, though, that the vast majority of artists probably aren’t monsters. It’s just those like Gaiman and Rowling who give a bad name to those who are on the level. And it’s a shame.

It’s entirely up to you where you draw the line for yourself. It sucks to think that something into which you invested so much of yourself was created by a monster, and that you might then have to change your relationship with it. I know. But that relationship does change.

There are people who divest themselves entirely. Some folks I know only get Harry Potter merch on Etsy from independent artists, the books from used bookstores, and plan to watch new media from pirated sources. There are people I know who have covered up all related tattoos and treat their formerly-beloved franchises like Voldemort as He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Whatever your line is, just make sure you have one. Mindless consumption of art, news or anything else is how we got ourselves into the current predicament in the world. And the last thing we want to do is dig that grave any deeper. CW

theESSENTIALS ENTERTAINMENT

Pete Holmes

Pete Holmes boasts the persona of an everyday kinda guy, albeit an everyday kinda guy who’s both talented and versatile. Consider him a kind of Everyman who seems to excel in practically every medium into which he ventures. A comedian, actor, author, producer and podcaster, he created and starred in HBO’s comedy series Crashing as well as the TBS late-night, Conan O’Brien-produced talk show The Pete Holmes Show. In addition, he’s known as a popular podcaster, the star of five standup comedy specials—Impregnated with Wonder (2011), Nice Try, The Devil (2013), Faces and Sounds (2016), Dirty Clean (2018), and I Am Not For Everyone (2023)—and a contributor to multiple episodes of The Simpsons.

Onstage, his casual observational approach can encompass subjects both major and mundane, all delivered with a decidedly self-effacing point of view. His routines might range from a discussion about a relative’s silly mispronunciation of celebrity names to the common mistake people make at parties when expressing their over-the-top enthusiasm as if they’re mimicking a McDonalds commercial (“I’m lovin’ it!”). His humor is clearly contagious, because oftentimes Holmes finds himself cracking up almost as much as his audience. And why not? He clearly embraces the freedom to be funny.

Pete Holmes performs a 21+ show at Wiseguys Gateway (190 S. 400 West) Thursday, Jan. 30 @ 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. and Friday – Saturday Jan. 31 & Feb. 1 @ 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Tickets cost $35, and certain performances are sold out. Visit wiseguyscomedy.com to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (Lee Zimmerman)

theESSENTIALS

Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company: Re-Mix

The appeal of a premiere is obvious: It’s a unique experience to be there when a work is seen for the first time. But long before the advent of “remix” culture, there has been plenty of excitement to be found in how existing work can be re-interpreted. Maybe it’s to explore different venue or geographical restrictions, maybe it’s a way to add more contemporary context, maybe it’s just about the human beings on a stage being different interpreters—but if you understand the concept of performing arts at all, you know that you’re never stepping in the same river twice.

Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company embraces that notion with this winter’s Re-Mix performance, a showcase of three previously-produced works which will all come with some degree of a fresh perspective. Raja Feather Kelly’s 2023 piece Scenes for an Ending was originally staged on at the Jeanne Wagner Theater, but now gets the more intimate setting of the Rose Wagner Center’s Black Box. Choreographer jo Blake’s 2022 work coincidental coincidences., originally a three-dancer piece, now features six dancers, as well as a film component. And Kellie St. Pierre’s The Rate We Change brings its use of a human-powered rotating platform to RWDC for the first time after being presented locally by other companies.

RWDC’s Re-Mix visits the Rose Wagner Center Black Box (138 W. 300 South) for full-evening performances Jan. 30 – 31 and Feb. 1 at 7:30 p.m., with tickets $20 Thursday and $35 Friday – Saturday. An abbreviated “Moving Parts” sensoryfriendly family performance is also offered Saturday, Feb. 1 at 1 p.m., tickets $10. Visit saltlakecountyarts.org. (Scott Renshaw)

Charles Ross: One-Man Star Wars® Trilogy

There are any number of people worldwide whose unabashed love for Star Wars borders on cult-like fanaticism. Nevertheless, many of those folks fear coming out, due to being branded as geeks, weirdos or all-round oddballs. Happily then, those of us who offer homage to The Force can take comfort in knowing we have a champion in the multi-talented actor, reenactor and performer Charles Ross. Like us, he’s a devoted fan—so devoted, in fact, that he’s reportedly seen the original Star Wars trilogy 400 times.

So, he turned that obvious obsession into a tidy career, courtesy of an internationallyrenowned touring performance that touts “1 man, 3 films and 60 hilarious minutes.” Recreating his beloved space saga sans costumes, sets or props, this Canadian performer has catapulted to international fame by recreating all the major characters from his beloved franchise for more than 20 years through a combination of his deft acting ability and his somewhat childlike fascination. It’s hardly surprising that he’s won accolades and appreciation of audiences on London’s West End, Lucasfilms itself and, perhaps most importantly, his mom! Then again, who wouldn’t admire such due diligence and devotion. Given the troubles and turbulence that plague our world these days, even a momentary escape into a galaxy far, far away is worth the respite. We suspect wise old Yoda would likely agree.

Ross performs his One-Man Star Wars® Trilogy at Peery’s

Cream of the Crop

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net

The Perfect Neighbor BBBB [U.S. Documentary]

There are any number of ways director Geeta Gandbhir could have told a documentary story about “Stand-your-ground” laws in general, or about the particular case she’s exploring—but the way she did choose proves remarkable both in its structural ingenuity and in the way it adds power to the narrative. That story involves an incident in Florida’s Marion County, in which Susan Lorincz shot her neighbor Ajike Owens through Lorincz’s front door, claiming she feared for her life, and Gandbhir allows that case to unfold almost entirely through public records: police body-cam footage obtained from the many times Lorincz called sheriffs with complaints about neighborhood kids playing in a field (which was not Lorincz’s property) adjacent to her home; recorded interviews with witnesses to the events; and ultimately, police interviews with Lorincz herself. The result is a remarkable portrait of the neighborhood “Karen” as a toxic, almost-certainly-racist presence in a multiracial neighborhood, and one that never has to resort to melodrama to convey the potential consequences of laws that allow someone to argue their fear might be more important than someone else’s life. There are emotionally devastating moments here, but perhaps nothing quite so disturbing as a fixed camera on Lorincz, caught in an obvious lie, trying to speak into existence the impossibility that she could be held accountable for her actions.

Twinless BBB½ [U.S. Dramatic]

I could toss out thematic buzzwords like “it’s about loneliness and connection,” and it’s not even that those words don’t apply—it’s just that writer/director James Sweeney’s movie is so gotdam fun and entertaining that I hesitate to muddy the waters. It’s the tale of two men who meet in a bereavement support group for people who have lost twin siblings: Roman (Dylan O’Brien), a straight guy hanging around in Portland to settle his late brother’s affairs; and

Dennis (Sweeney), a gay man with plenty of issues of his own. Both central performances are terrific, with O’Brien pulling off the trickier task of capturing a guy who’s a little bit dumb, a lot angry and still understandably sympathetic, while Sweeney evokes something more pathetic but never ridiculous. Mostly, though, it’s smartly written from start to finish, full of hilarious one-liners, unexpected filmmaking choices and a brilliant sense for when the darkest possible humor is just right. Even when the general narrative arc becomes clear, there’s still great stuff like evoking what it’s like when Dennis becomes a third wheel after Roman gets a girlfriend (the wonderful Aisling Franciosi) through something as basic as who gets to sit in the front seat, and join the sing-along to identical-twin act Evan and Jaron’s “Crazy for This Girl.” Maybe I’ll come around to thinking more about loneliness and connection and whatnot when I’m done giggling myself silly over the bits that keep popping into my head.

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You BBB½ [Premieres]

“Mommy is stretchable,” says the disembodied voice of a young child, talking about her mother, Linda (Rose Byrne)—and writer/director Mary Bronstein’s darkly comic psychodrama feels like an exploration of exactly how far she can stretch before she snaps. Linda’s life is a whirlwind of colliding crises: dealing with her daughter’s mysterious gastrointestinal illness without any help from her husband; living out of a hotel room after the roof of their apartment caves in; coping with the drama in the lives of her patients as a therapist. Linda’s career provides a unique framework for a story that isn’t necessarily groundbreaking in looking at the challenges of motherhood through the lens of horror, in that we can tell she understands intellectually all the coping mechanisms she should employ—“putting on your own oxygen mask first,” avoiding self-blame, etc.— but still needs to self-medicate in order to function. Byrne’s performance makes the most of all her skills, as both dramatic and comedic actor, finding the places where every parent falls short and taking them to pitches that often inspires cringes. But the neatest filmmaking trick involves the way Bronstein opts to portray Linda’s daughter—or more specifically, not portray her, keeping the child’s face hidden in such a way that captures how Linda’s own problems make it impossible for her to see her daughter as a person, rather than just one more problem to be solved.

Neighbor

Twinless

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You

PATHS TO PARENTHOOD

EMBRYO DONATION AND OTHER BLENDS OF FERTILIZATION AND ADOPTION HELP UTAH COUPLES TO EXPAND THEIR FAMILIES.

BY CAROLYN CAMPBELL COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

Chandler and Jennifer Turley almost gave up on having a child. They had hoped for a baby ever since marrying seven years ago. Yet it didn’t happen. For six years, the Turleys pursued infertility treatments. Jennifer underwent several rounds of intrauterine insemination (IUI)—a simpler, lower-cost alternative to in vitro fertilization (IVF)—and finally became pregnant.

One month later, Jennifer had a miscarriage. “It was super exciting,” Chandler Turley said. “And then it was taken away and gone.”

The Turleys met with adoption agencies. Jennifer, who was adopted herself, felt that her own experience had been wonderful. But they discovered the cost was likely to be at least $40,000. While the agencies mentioned possible grants, the price still seemed too steep.

The Turleys visited another fertility specialist, who explained that a round of IVF would cost about $20,000, and their likelihood of pregnancy was roughly a 7% to 10% chance.

But a few moments later, the doctor sug-

gested another option. He told the Turleys that if they used a donated embryo, the likelihood of success could be 50%. And the cost was about one-fourth the cost of traditional IVF, which includes egg stimulation, retrieval, fertilization and transfer.

“For us, it was a no-brainer,” Chandler Turley said.

Infertility can have profound emotional effects on both individuals and couples; the inability to have a baby can feel like a significant emotional loss, said Dr. Rana Jawish, an assistant professor at the University of Utah’s Huntsman Mental Health Institute. She added that, sometimes, couples without children can feel isolated or stigmatized. Feelings of shame or guilt can accompany the isolation.

“It’s hard to socialize around other couples with kids,” Jawish said. “There can be blame within the couple’s relationship over who is responsible.”

The Turleys added their name to a waiting list and one year later, it reached the top. They learned they would receive profiles from three pairs of embryo donors to review and decide on. Like the donor files

that accompany the adoption of a child, the Turleys were able to see the likes and dislikes, health history and educational background of the couples whose embryo might help them to be parents.

The Turleys liked that one couple resembled them culturally, because the male donor was Cuban and the female was Caucasian. Jennifer Turley is Guatemalan, and Chandler Turley is Caucasian.

The Turleys ultimately selected four embryos, preserving the option to give their future baby a biological sibling someday.

A doctor transferred one of the embryos into Jennifer’s uterus. Thirty-six weeks later, Chandler received an urgent phone call from Jennifer while headed to Idaho for work.

“I think I’m in labor,” she said.

After 24 hours of labor—including a rush-in for a C-section—the Turley’s baby was here. She was gorgeous with a full head of dark hair and grayish-blue eyes.

They named her Drew Charlotte Turley—after Jennifer’s dad. Chandler Turley said that Drew’s first cry will always be monumental in his memory.

And on January 3, the Turleys’ world came crashing down again. Baby Drew was rushed to Primary Children’s Hospital in critical condition, where doctors diagnosed the child with leukemia. She will be hospitalized for several months. A friend of the family established a GoFundMe fundraiser and, after the miracle of Drew’s birth, they wait and hope for a second miracle to extend her life.

Case by Case

Dr. Kristi Maas, a fertility specialist, said the emotional distress of infertility can be comparable to a major diagnosis like cancer. “There’s very often personal shame that they don’t share with friends or family,” she said.

Maas helps a wide range of patients, using a variety of treatment methods. In one case, tests showed that a man wasn’t producing sperm. But with the assistance of a urologist they were able to extract sperm directly from the man’s testicles and fertilize eggs extracted from his partner to create embryos.

Alec Fowler (left) and Blake McDougal (right) with their children.

After exploring fertility options, Jennifer and Chandler Turley opted to pursue a donated embryo, leading to the birth of their daughter, Drew Charlotte.

“This will help this couple meet their goal of having two or three children,” she said.

In another case, she treated a 44-yearold patient in perimenopause with a low egg supply. By using a donated egg from another woman, fertilized with sperm from the patient’s male partner, they achieved a successful pregnancy. A third patient with polycystic ovarian syndrome—in which the ovaries do not release eggs—was able to get pregnant after a round of medication.

Maas said those are examples of the different circumstances her patients encounter, and that options exist for many of those experiencing infertility.

“With most people, we can [achieve a pregnancy] through donated eggs, sperm or surrogates,” Maas said. “Even if we can’t create a diagnosis or a baby, going through the treatment can provide closure.”

Jawish said it is an aspect of biology for humans to have children; the scientific reason is to pass on genes.

She added that having children can also fill many emotional needs. The child they conceive gives parents a sense of purpose in guiding a new life, which can be incredibly fulfilling.

“Your unconditional love toward your offspring is rewarding; seeing them growing and achieving milestones gives parents a sense of accomplishment,” she said. “Even if your child is struggling, you love them no matter what—there’s a sense of satisfaction to give this kind of love to someone in your life.”

She said having a child can also strengthen the social bonds that a person feels toward their partner and toward the larger community. “You connect through sports, school activities, or other enjoyable pursuits—a source of satisfaction.”

And for cases where fertilization fails to result in a pregnancy, or isn’t a viable solution, Jawish said that traditional adoption can help couples or individuals who are struggling to fill those needs, while also helping many children and infants who are in dire need.

Sandi Quick, director at Brighter Adoptions in Layton, agreed, saying that adoption can help to heal many different kinds of wounds.

“In a perfect world, adoption would not be necessary,” she said. “People who didn’t want to get pregnant would not get pregnant, and people who wanted to have babies would be able to.”

Quick has facilitated more than 700 adoptions over 25 years. She said misperceptions persist, and that today’s process looks a bit different than people might imagine. Quick wants prospective adoptive parents to pursue the idea with their eyes open.

“Today’s birth mom isn’t the cheerleader who never had a beer and became pregnant by the football quarterback,” she said. “Because today’s single moms have other options besides adoption, many who choose adoption are [experiencing] high needs.”

The parents responding to an unwanted pregnancy may be experiencing homeless-

Continued on page 16

ness, or substance abuse and addiction. They may be victims of domestic violence.

“Those moms need the help we provide,” Quick said. “Their children are worthy and wonderful and deserve to be adopted into a loving home.”

More Family to Love

Quick has coordinated adoptions for moms of every childbearing age, including a mom who was 44 years old. “She thought she was having menopause and then found out she was pregnant,” Quick said. “She was already a grandmother and didn’t want to start over.”

She pointed out that this older birth mom’s issues weren’t financial, and she wasn’t abusing substances.

This woman’s adult children supported her decision, Quick said. They remain very involved with the family that adopted their mom’s baby.

“She had a pretty put-together life but was very careerfocused,” she said. “It was not the time to have a child.”

Quick said she has only worked with two moms who preferred not to disclose their names to an adoptive family. They went by initials.

“In a closed situation, it’s usually a mom who has had a lot of trauma and is probably a victim of domestic violence,” Quick said. “She doesn’t want anyone to know who she is.”

Today, all Brighter Adoptions placements are open, in that birth moms and adoptive parents have met and probably remain in contact.

“We think it’s best for the child to know where they came from and to have that relationship, if that’s what the mom wants,” Quick said. “We tell parents that the more people who love the baby, the better. ”

Along with recommending open adoption, Brighter Adoptions also suggests adoptive parents be open with an adopted child about his history.

“We encourage adoptive families to tell their baby’s birth story from moment one,” she said. “It’s never a time—[like] when they’re 8 years old—that you sit them down and tell them they were adopted.”

Quick herself has three adopted children. She said each know their personal birth story and the names of their own and each other’s birth mothers.

“They know that Kyrie came from Amira’s tummy, and Nykee came from Ebony’s tummy,” Quick said. “We pray for those moms and are so grateful for each of them.”

Quick knows of one birth mother who later got married in the backyard of her child’s adoptive family. Her son was the ring bearer.

“She is absolutely a part of that family,” Quick said. “We have many stories where they don’t just adopt the baby but also the mama. ”

Modern adoptions cost between $40,000 and $80,000, Quick said, depending on the needs of the birth mom. She explained that her agency finances about 60% of their adoptions with the help of grants.

Some employers offer in-house grants to help grow their employees’ families. For example, Starbucks offers eligible “partners” (workers) their Family Expansion Reimbursement program, designed to assist employees with growing their families through adoption or surrogacy for certain expenses not covered through health insurance.

According to Angele Busch, senior manager of Starbucks Corporate Communications, all benefits-eligible partners can apply for reimbursement of eligible adoption and nonmedical surrogacy expenses up to a lifetime maximum of $40,000 per partner.

“Many employees choose Starbucks for its benefits, including those that support them in growing their families in various ways,” Busch said. Aside from the financial aspects, Quick feels that the benefits for the adopted children are exponential.

“Having two parents and not worrying about where their next meal is coming from is definitely positive for these babies,” she said.

Allie Middleton, a mother of two, says she has a grandparentesque relationship with the two surrogate children she carried for friends.

Quick feels that people who oppose adoption view the issue from varying viewpoints. Some are very opposed to a child becoming separated from a birth mother.

“Others focus on the sadness a birth mom might go through,” she continued. “Sometimes, I think people get preoccupied with the details of the tragedy around the unplanned pregnancy.”

Biological Clocks

While Allie Middleton and Blake McDougal were classmates at Alta High School, neither could predict they would share a unique personal connection someday.

Remaining in touch after high school, Middleton and her husband joined McDougal and his friend Alec Fowler for a double-date at The Porcupine Pub and Grill, and the Middletons could sense the powerful chemistry between the two movie-star-handsome men.

“This is the end game for Blake,” Middleton thought.

The two men met on Tinder in 2017. On their first date, they discovered a significant common interest—they both wanted kids. They dated for two years and married in June of 2019 and started the process of becoming parents soon after.

At first, they weren’t sure whether to choose adoption or surrogacy. Talking with couples who took each route, they chose surrogacy.

“We didn’t think we could mentally cope with a child being taken away [in case an adoption failed],” Fowler said.

In March of 2020, “right before the world shut down,” they started the embryo creation process at Utah Fertility Clinic. They chose an anonymous donor. Artificial insemination placed half of the donor eggs with Alec’s sperm and half with Blake’s.

“We were lucky enough to end up with 13 healthy embryos,” Fowler said.

Even as they prepared to become dads, the two men enjoyed married life. They traveled often and also searched for

a house for their future family. They invited the Middletons to dinner at their new home.

“Our two kids were there, and we talked about babies,” Middleton said. “Alec and Blake said they didn’t want to be too far behind their other friends who were married and had children.”

At the time, Middleton was a mother of two children facing her own parenting dilemma. She was deciding whether to have another child. Then, her childcare provider texted that she was pregnant and would not be caring for other families’ children after her own baby was born.

“When she texted, I didn’t think I would be getting pregnant,” Middleton said. “She had watched my kids for 5 or 6 years. As a mom, concern about child care affects every decision you make.”

Still, Middleton felt confused about experiencing feelings of looking forward to having another baby. After dinner with the Fowlers, her feelings became apparent and she realized she was yearning to have another child because she was meant to carry her friends’ baby.

“I felt like I had more to give,” she said, “but I didn’t want to be a mother again.”

Middleton carried two children for the couple—a son they named Halston, followed by their daughter, a girl they called Frankie. She sees the family at least once a month.

Middleton said her feelings toward the two kids today are comparable to a grandmother and grandchild. And after having the two babies for the men, she felt it was time to close that chapter of her life and move on.

“Honestly, I’m relieved I did my part—but now it’s their turn,” she said. “My biological clock has struck midnight.”

Today, people write to Maas to say she has helped them achieve their childhood dreams.

“Seeing my patients complete their families has been some of the most beautiful, gratifying moments of my entire life,” Maas said. “Seeing parents hold the child they have tried so hard for in their arms is incredibly heartwarming.” CW

Bites, Camera, Action!

Local restaurants that have lit up the silver screen.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

When the Sundance Film Festival rolls around, it’s hard not to reflect on the rich and vibrant role that Utah has played in cinema. From the westerns of John Ford to Ari Aster’s horrifying debut Hereditary (2018), we’ve got a plethora of famous set pieces in our own backyard.

It all got me thinking of the most memorable local restaurants that I’ve caught on the silver screen. Sure, I love the scenic vistas of Lake Powell and the vast, windblown plane of the Bonneville Salt Flats, but I can’t help but get a little giddy when I see proof that I’ve visited a restaurant that’s been in the pictures. So, as we celebrate our love for all things cinema, let’s take a stroll down memory lane for some of the most memorable Utah restaurant appearances on film.

Movie buffs of a certain age no doubt remember how prominent Utah was in Dumb and Dumber (1994), Peter Farrelly’s raunchy Jim Carrey vehicle. Among the famous Utah landmarks featured in the film, the swanky French restaurant La Caille makes an appearance. The posh exterior of this classic Utah restaurant is used to portray the home of Mary Swanson (Lauren Holly) for a brief scene where Lloyd Christmas (Carrey) daydreams about returning her lost briefcase. Anyone who has visited La Caille knows about its classic European aesthetic, and the fa-

DINE

miliar shape of its front door is used to marvelous effect as an ethereal Mary appears amid a flock of live doves.

Digging a bit deeper into Utah’s cinematic history, there are a few notable spots that were featured in past Sundance Film Festival selections. It’s impossible to talk about local filmmaking without bringing up SLC Punk! (1998), James Merendino’s legendary love letter to Salt Lake’s 80s punk scene. There are plenty of great set pieces here–who could forget perhaps the best cinematic use of The Great Salt Lake when Mark (Til Schweiger) tries to sink a stolen car in our famous body of water? Restaurant-wise, there is a scene where Stevo (Matthew Lillard) and Bob (Michael Goorjian) visit Millie’s Burgers, whose timeless fast food diner aesthetic fits in perfectly with the 1980s setting. I wonder how many Millie’s Glaciers were consumed during that day’s shoot?

The legacy of SLC Punk! has continued to permeate our local dining and bar culture, as Proper Brewing Co. released its popular SLC Pils for the film’s 25th anniversary in 2023. Fans of the film will recognize the blue mohawked profile of Stevo right there on the can.

Another Sundance film that shot heavily in Utah was the Biblical archaeology satire Don Verdean (2015). While not as beloved as Jared Hess’s Sundance debut Napoleon Dynamite (2004), Don Verdean dug into the same bag of tricks to showcase oddball characters doing oddball things. Midvale’s The Belgian Waffle & Omelet Inn had a brief moment in the spotlight, as the backdrop for Don (Sam Rockwell) and his over-eager assistant Carol (Amy Ryan) to discuss the cutthroat Biblical artifact trade over breakfast. As someone who has spent many late nights on those vinyl seats plowing through pancakes and Garbage Hash, I couldn’t help but wonder if Sam Rockwell had parked his butt in the

same booth where I parked mine.

At this point, I have a few honorable mentions to throw out; these are restaurants that were used in films but have since closed their doors. Let’s kick this off with another under-the-radar Sundance Film called Brigsby Bear (2017). The film follows the exploits of James Pope (Kyle Mooney), a recluse who was raised in a bunker in the middle of nowhere, so we get plenty of establishing shots in the Uinta Mountains. When Pope eventually reconnects with society, one of his stops is Kozy Cafe in Echo, Utah. With its proximity to a motel and gas station, Kozy Cafe is the perfect small-town backdrop for Pope’s quest to write the conclusion to a phony TV show from his childhood. New ownership tried to make a go at bringing Kozy Cafe back to life in the early 2000s, but the restaurant has been closed for some time now.

Penny’s Cafe in Stockton is another small-town cafe that is no longer operating, but it saw some action in Christopher N. Rowley’s Bonneville (2006). This road movie about a trio of Mormon ladies follows recently widowed Arvilla (Jessica Lange) and her friends Margene (Kathy Bates) and Carol (Joan Allen) as they drive from Idaho to California as a way to commemorate the loss of Arvilla’s husband. As it turns out, you can’t make a sweeping Western road film without a stop at a small-town cafe, and Penny’s was lucky enough to get that particular role in Bonneville

Horror nerds will also recognize Penney’s Service Station from Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988), which eventually became Penny’s Cafe when new owners transformed the garage and convenience store into a neighborhood diner in the early 2000s.

I’ll keep an eye on this year’s releases to see if any other local eateries get their five minutes of fame. CW

2 Row Brewing

73 West 7200 South, Midvale

2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: Piney Peaks “West Coast IPA”

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC

BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Belgian Pale Ale, Cosmic Pop IPA, Lord of the Ryes Stout

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale

BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: Cali ‘Steam’ Lager, ‘BrewSki’ German Pilsner

NEW: ‘I.P.L.’ India Pale Lager draft and ‘Czechulator’ Doppelbock (9% ABV)

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Playground #13 - Hazy Pale with Lemondrop and Sultana

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Ay Curuba! Curuba Sour

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: 2024 Big Bad Baptist Imperial Stouts

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Twilight Saison

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Now with a full bar license & draft beer cocktails!

On Tap: Fonio - 100% gluten free beer; Schwarzbier

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company

358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewing 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: El Jefe - Hefeweizen

Policy Kings Brewery

223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper

Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com  On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com  On Tap: Blizzard Wizard Hazy Pale Ale

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Rising Hope White

Level Crossing Brewing Co.,

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Fresh Hop Little Suss

686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Cranberry Rosemary

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Snow God West Coast IPA

Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Cranberry Sour, London Porter

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Psycho Killer Juicy Pale Ale

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Winter Amber with notes of Vanilla and Brown Sugar

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Highpoint Sweater Weather 6% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider. com

On Tap: Imperial 8.2%

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Fresh Hop IPA (with homegrown local hops)

Shades On State 366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Hellion Blonde Ale; Black Cloud Lager

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George SGBev.com

Squatters Corner Pub –Valley Fair 3555 Constitution Blvd, West Valley City squatterscornerpub.com

On Tap: Top of Main Brewery –Coalition Hellfire Chili Pepper Ale

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co.

147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ squatters On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co. – Glinda’s Blackberry Sour

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: 20 beers with 12 rotating small batch releases:

Strap

On Tap: Redeemer Rauchbier, God of Thunder Roggenbier

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: Candy Cap English Mild

TF Brewing

936 S. 300

BEER NERD

Seed of the Universe

Kiitos Fonio crafts a beer from a unique, gluten-free West African grain

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Kiitos Fonio isn’t just a unique beer for Utah; it’s unique in the world. Fonio is named for the drought-tolerant grass/ grain that hails from West Africa—a type of millet that is able to grow without fertilizer, pesticides and irrigation. Yeah, it’s that hearty and sustainable.

While Kiitos isn’t the first brewery in North America to use fonio in a beer (Brooklyn Brewery and Russian River Brewing were out front on that), it is the first to make a 100 percent fonio beer in North America. Carlsberg Brewing out of Denmark created a 100 percent fonio lager, but it was only available there.

That being said, the aforementioned U.S. breweries were only able to use the West African grain for less than a quarter of the content of their versions, due to its super dense body during the brewing process.

“The mash was so thick it looked like our mash tun was full of grits,” said David Jimenez, Kiitos’ Head Brewer. “I’ve never brewed with a grain like this.”

The reason Kiitos was able to get this 100 percent fonio beer to market so fast after becoming available to the United States is its unique-to-our-market mash press brewing system. A mash press can squeeze the wort (unfermented beer) from the grains instead of relying on a gravity-feed to drain the wort through a mash tun’s false bottom. This allows Kiitos to utilize high percentages of similarly thick grains—such as oats, wheat and rye—alternative starches like rice or ancient grains like fonio.

“The mash press has allowed Kiitos to make all kinds of hard-to-brew beers,” Jimenez said. In the past Kiitos has made 100 percent wheat and rye beers as well, with a third all-grain “difficult to brew” ale now being formulated.

Kiitos’ Fonio is a very unique-looking beer, too. It is completely clear, resembling something more like a boozy seltzer or a clear sake.

“The whole brewhouse was quite shocked when we got our first look post-fermentation,” Jimenez said. “We thought we really screwed up somewhere, but that’s just the way it looks.”

Another departure from the norm in the fonio beer was the decision to forego the addition of hops or other bittering

agents from the beer. “The beer itself is incredibly fruity,” said Jimenez. “We didn’t want to mess with the incredible citrus and fruity qualities the fonio was throwing out.”

And I concur—it would have been a crime to stifle these flavors in its debut to the world.

Jimenez is correct regarding the natural fruitiness happening here. There are some slight sake-esque fruit qualities such as apple, though not tannic at all. Yuzu makes a big appearance here as well, along with some pleasant white peach flavors. The citrus qualities are strong and up front, which provide a high drinkability factor. Combined with the clarity of beer, those qualities gave me the impression that I was completely out of the realm of an all-grain beer.

Fonio’s natural fruitiness and sustainability aside, the West African grass will also find a market with those who can’t, or choose not to, ingest gluten. According to Jimenez, “Fonio is glutenfree. It really is a near-perfect grain, and we here at Kiitos are just beginning to explore what we can do with it next.”

As a specialty import grain, fonio isn’t exactly a cheap alternative to the traditional beer malts and grains that are out there, but the team at Kiitos Brewing is ecstatic about what they’ve learned in this first experiment utilizing a grain known as “the seed of the universe.” They look forward to it being part of not just beer culture, but life in general.

Kiitos’ Fonio beer dials in at 5.0 percent ABV and is a very limited run, so if you’re interested in checking out this game changing beer, I’d hit it up Kiitos sooner rather than later.

As always, cheers! CW

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Local Talent Among James Beard Semifinalists

The 2025 James Beard Award semifinalists were recently announced, and we’re proud to see some great local representation among their ranks. Lavanya Mahate of Saffron Valley is a semifinalist in the Outstanding Restaurateur category, and Adalberto Diaz of Fillings and Emulsions is a semifinalist for Outstanding Pastry Chef or Baker. Local Greek favorite Manoli’s, is a semifinalist for Outstanding Hospitality, while Central Ninth hotspot Water Witch is up for Outstanding Bar. Among the Best Chef: Mountain regional semifinalists are Mike Blocher and Nick Fahs of Table X, Andrew Fuller of Oquirrh, Matthew Harris of tupelo Park City, and Nick Zocco from Urban Hill. It’s a stellar list, and we’re rooting for every one of our semifinalists.

Planned Parenthood Chocolate Festival Tix Still On Sale

The Planned Parenthood Association of Utah will be holding a Chocolate Festival to raise funds for its local chapter. The tickets have been on sale since early January, but this could very well be your last week to snag admission to the event, which will be held at the Riverwoods Conference Center in Logan on Feb. 8 at 6:30 p.m. Purchasing tickets in advance at thechocolatefest.com will net you a discounted rate, and you’ll also want to check out the silent auction which is scheduled to go live on Feb. 5 at noon and will close Feb. 8 at 8:30 p.m. It’ll be an evening of sweet treats, good causes and live music.

Zhu Ting Ji Opens

I am struggling to keep tabs on all these great new Chinese spots that are opening up—not that I’m complaining. I just heard about a place in Taylorsville called Zhu Ting Ji that looks to be whipping up house-made soup dumplings, both steamed and pan-fried bao and yet another iteration of mapo tofu that I will need to try ASAP. Its menu has a huge variety of options including a section dedicated to Chinese ramen, plenty of soup variations, fried rice, dumplings and several other items that sound amazing. It’s always hard to compete with the level of talent going on in the Chinese Supermarket area, but early reports of Zhu Ting Ji have me eager to put it to the test.

Music Mailbag

January 2025

New music from Casyn, Frick., The Glitter Bombs, Acacia Ridge

BY EMILEE ATKINSON EATKINSON@CITYWEEKLY.NET

We’re about done with our first month of 2025—how is everyone feeling? No matter what your answer to that question is, it’s never bad to listen to some new local music; it can only make things better. Here are some new must-listen releases to round out the first month of the year.

Casyn, “CHEMICAL”: Casyn, or A Band Called Casyn, is starting the year out great with their newest single “CHEMICAL.” The pop/ rock group boasts high energy with a knack for cheerful tunes— and this new single is that and more. It’s dripping with charm, good vibes and a full sound that will have you coming back for more. “CHEMICAL” sounds very honest and sincere, making it easy to hear the love and care that were put into the song. “CHEMICAL” has a replayability factor of a million and is perfect for any playlist.

Frick. featured on Now That’s What I Call Treason 47: Infomercials for the That’s What I Call… albums have firmly cemented themselves into millennials’ minds. Late at night, after our favorite shows were over and we were half asleep, we’d wake up to one of these commercials blasting at full volume. Now, hearing an album title that plays off of that nostal-

gia is instantly intriguing. Then, when you hear it’s about the disastrous state of today’s politics, it has an even greater appeal. New Jersey based label A Few Good Records has a few compilation records that comment on the political affairs of the last few years, including the precursor to their latest compilation, Now That’s What I Call Treason 45.

This new compilation switches the 45 out for 47 (unfortunately for all of us) and offers a number of scathing tracks aimed at the likes of President Donald Trump, Vice President JD Vance and Elon Musk, as depicted on the album cover. “I can’t believe I have to make another one of these,” is the tagline for the album on BandCamp—and we all feel that pain.

SLC garage punk band Frick. makes an appearance on Now That’s What I Call Treason 47 called “We Should All Be Afraid.” It’s everything you’d want from a punk song: a hard-and-fast rhythm, screaming vocals and a general “fuck you” attitude. It’s a short one, clocking in at under two minutes, but that makes it easy to go back and listen to it on a loop. You can always count on Frick. to deliver the greatest punk sounds on a silver platter. The next four years are going to be rough, but at least we’ll get some good music out of it (I guess?).

The Glitter Bombs, Alchemy: The Glitter Bombs exploded onto the local scene back in 2022 with their first single, before releasing their debut album Bombs Away the next year. Now in 2025, the Bombs are back with their newest album, Alchemy. “Our adventure is highlighted in this true story of a wild encounter with a real-life witch,” the band says of the title track. “This punchy track channels rocka-billy vibes that will have you hearing the Tel-Ray delay and British Analogue equalizers. With a gritty edge and catchy hooks, this song is all about the unexpected and

MUSIC

the stories they spark. Driving rhythmic grooves, guitar to swing your hips to, and a female voice that will make you tingle— give it a listen!” If there’s anything you can count on The Glitter Bombs for, it’s a good time. You can have a great time with Bombs Away, and you can have an even better time with Alchemy. It’s fun to follow bands as they release new music to see how they grow and change. With the Bombs, you get all of their trademark fun sprinkled in with a polish that’s hard to beat. Here, they really hone in on their power-pop sound with crispy and crunchy guitar tracks, big drums that are in your face without being overwhelming, and excellent vocals. The title track is the perfect opener, starting strong with fun, witchy vibes and setting up an exciting mood for the rest of the album. Don’t skip out on Alchemy, which is streaming everywhere now.

Acacia Ridge, The Deviant Era: Sometimes all you need is some good old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll. There are plenty of fantas-

tic rock bands in SLC, and Acacia Ridge makes that list. In 2019 they taught themselves how to record, and released their debut album Watch Your Monarchs Fall. Songs from that album have raked in millions of streams, and they can probably expect more of the same from their new album, The Deviant Era. Their hard rock/metalcore sounds are full and pack a punch; it’s nearly impossible to not headbang to their tracks. This new album is packed to the brim with ripping guitar solos, in-your-face vocals and intense, heartfelt lyrics. Acacia Ridge also teamed up with local pop singer/songwriter Cera Gibson on a new track called “Negative Space.” It’s always fun to see artists genre hop and collaborate with others in the local scene. Gibson’s vocals are gorgeous, and her sound lends itself well to that of Acacia Ridge. If you’re in need of some heavy tunes, look no further than The Deviant Era, streaming everywhere now. CW

Acacia Ridge

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

GREAT FOOD

MUSIC PICK S

Caleb & The Haze, Beatnik, Antela @ Kilby Court 1/30

Listening to Caleb & The Haze is like being surrounded in a groovy cloud. Their debut album Refine takes listeners on a journey of chill-yet-catchy sounds that will fill you with joy from the moment you press play. Here you’ll find lengthy stretches of several instruments that never outstay their welcome: smooth trumpet, gliding bass, exciting keys and upbeat drums. If you love jazzy sounds with complementary electronic elements, you’ll feel right at home here. Some tracks are all instrumental, but when the vocals come in, they add even more depth to the finely-layered work. Refine also features guest singer/ songwriter Kilow and PJ LaBarge of Beatnik. This debut album is as refined as the title implies. Beatnik will also be playing at the show, hopefully including their latest release “You Are So Special.” Rounding out the bill is shoegaze/synth-pop band Antela. All three of these acts will complement each other perfectly with their excellent mix of synth/electronic and instrumentation. Come hang out on Thursday, Jan. 30 at 7 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $10 and can be found at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Nothing’ Good

Liam Liars

Alli Brown

Abstract X Dylan Owen

The Dead Tongues

Gregory Dillon

Heavy Hates Me West Coast Tour

MUSIC PICK S

Seven Lions @ The Marquis 1/31

The epic side of electronic music that transports listeners into a larger-than-life soundscape of fantasy and emotional trance is coming to Park City this weekend. Seven Lions (Jeff Montalvo), the melodic dubstep and trance DJ and producer, is one of the biggest names in electronic dance music. His own tastes in music are in metal, ranging from Opeth to Viking and folk metal like Ensiferum and Storm Corrosion. These influences are woven into his specific subgenre of electronic music, which meshes powerful bass drops and massive breakdowns. Take his 2014 album Worlds Apart as an example: Songs like “Strangers” and “Nepenthe” go beyond the usual bang and boom of EDM, and instead wander across genres creating an enigmatic flood of sensation before the wubs of dubstep exhilarate from the speakers to the dance floor. “Rush Over Me”—featuring fellow producers Illenium and Said the Sky—also evokes these feelings with the lyrics, “So rush over me one more time / I will miss you, torn apart after tonight.” It’s a gut-wrenching experience. Montalvo has founded his own independent record label, Ophelia Records, to release melodic bass, psytrance and even some drum and bass. His live shows accompanied with his fantastical and esoteric visuals are well worth it. Seven Lions plays at The Marquis on Friday, Jan. 31. Doors open at 9 p.m. Tickets are selling out quickly at $79.95. Go to highaltitude.frontgatetickets.com for tickets and event information. (Arica Roberts)

Eligh with Ceschi Ramos @ The Pearl on Main 2/1 Honeypot Concerts are getting back to their festival roots to bring you a day filled with beats, rhymes and life. Hip hop is a bit of a “catch-all,” isn’t it? The artists on this bill range from massive mash-ups, backpack emcees and music-makers interested in game-changing sonic building blocks. A true living legend from the California based crew Living Legends, Eli Nathan Nachowitz (a.k.a. Eligh) is known universally for his prodigious skill and live performances. “We toured the world, made tons of albums, solo, inter groupgroups, and as a collective.” Eligh told VoyageLA.com. “This was before the internet. Before one could drop a song online, and instantly be seen. We were underground kids, and our tapes were reaching people around the world.” Ceschi Ramos, founder of Fake Four records and member of Codefendents (a project with Sam King of Get Dead and Fat Mike of NOFX), takes a genuinely individual approach to his sound. He weaves his set from folk song sing-alongs to protest anthems, and it is utterly thrilling live. Some of the best acts that the city of the Great Salt Lake has to offer open: Ambedo, Funk & Gonzo, Rhyme Time, Gloco and Bruce Lee & The Streetfighters. Be sure to snatch up that sick flier around town by Dusk Raps (also performing). Catch these musicians at the Don’t Panic it’s Bhightheguy’s 42nd Birthday Winter Festival at The Pearl on Main on Saturday, Feb. 1. Doors at 3 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $25, and can be found at 24tix.com. (Mark Dago)

MUSIC PICKS

MUSIC PICKS

Olivia Rodrigo Sparkle Horse

Olivia Rodrigo Sparkle Horse

Linda Ronstadt

Brett Dennen and Jackie Greene @ The State Room 2/1

When Brett Dennen and Jackie Greene bring their 8th Annual Lift City Tour to town, it offers an excellent opportunity to catch two acclaimed and accomplished singer/songwriters during one ideal evening. In addition to being a popular performer, Dennen is a respected watercolor ar tist, environmentalist and outdoorsman whose efforts are aimed at making the world a better place. He also boasts an array of outstanding releases, the latest of which, aptly-titled Anything At All, may well be his best yet. For his part, Greene is multi-faceted as well—a soulful crooner, passionate piano player and adept guitarist. In addition to the work on his own releases, he demonstrated the latter ability when he played lead guitar for a Black Crowes tour in 2013. His star appearances didn’t end there, however; he’s toured with BB King, Mark Knopfler, Susan Tedeschi, and Taj Mahal, performed with Joan Osborne in the supergroup of sorts dubbed Trigger Happy, established himself as a longtime member of Phil Lesh and Friends, and contributed to efforts by Tedeschi Trucks Band, Govt Mule, Mississippi All-Stars, Amy Helm, Steve Earle and Bob Weir. Suffice it to say that between them, Dennen and Greene have enough press and personality to fill several venues of a similar size. Brett Dennen and Jackie Greene bring their 8th Annual Lift

City Tour to the State Room on Saturday, Feb. 1 at 8 p.m. Tickets can be found for $48 at axs.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

Travis @ The Depot

2/4

Taking their name from a character in the 1984 Western film Paris, Texas, Travis is in fact a Scottish pop group. With a deeply melodic and accessible sound, the group cultivated a strong following in Great Britain. Their breakthrough album, 1999’s The Man Who, went 9x Platinum in the U.K. Nine of their ten studio albums toptenned in the UK; the other one still made it to #20. Fronted by singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Fran Healy, they’re a critics’ darling as well: Travis won three Brit Awards (the British Phonograph Industry’s Grammy equivalent) and three Q Awards. Somewhat mystifyingly, Travis’ success in the U.S. has been more measured, though the band still enjoys a dedicated following here. To be sure, their music has all the hallmarks of surefire hits: emotionally resonant lyrics, evocative vocals, rock-solid instrumentation and top-notch songwriting. The lovely “Why Does it Always Rain on Me” (1999) and “Sing” from 2001 did both creep onto the U.S. Top 40 singles charts. Their latest album is the well-received L.A. Times, released in 2024. Travis’ Raze the Bar Tour comes to The Depot at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Feb. 4. General admission tickets are $64 and are available at livenation.com.

(Bill Kopp)

Brett Dennen

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

In medieval Europe, beekeepers made formal reports to their hives of significant events in the human world, like births, deaths, marriages and departures. They believed the bees needed to be continually informed so as to ensure robust honey production. The practice was called “telling the bees.” Let’s make this an inspiring story for you in the coming weeks, Aries. I invite you to keep your community fully apprised of what’s happening in your life. Proceed on the assumption that sharing your plans and changes with others will generate harmony and support. Like the beekeepers, you may discover that keeping your community in the loop will strengthen your bonds and sweeten your endeavors.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

A regular guy named Jesse Ronnebaum bought an old painting at a yard sale for 50 cents. For the next 10 years, it hung on the wall in his living room. Then he noticed a dim inscription on the painting that suggested maybe it was more valuable than he realized. Consulting an art dealer, he discovered it was an unusual composition that featured the work of seven prominent artists—and was worth a lot of money. Ronnebaum said, “Years of struggling, barely making bills, and the whole time there’s $50,000 hanging over my head, literally.” I am predicting metaphorically comparable events unfolding in your life during the coming months, Taurus. Hidden value will no longer be hidden. You will potentize neglected sources of wealth and finally recognize subtle treasures.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

In Namibia’s arid grasslands, fairy circles periodically emerge. They are highly regular rings of bare land encompassed by vegetation. What causes them? Supernatural entities, as believed by the local people? Sand termites or hydrogen-loving microbes, according to a few scientists? As yet, no definitive explanation has emerged. I love that! I cherish mysteries that thwart attempts at rational explanation. In accordance with astrological omens, Gemini, I invite you to specialize in tantalizing and unsolvable enigmas in the coming weeks. Your soul needs rich doses of provocative riddles, mysterious truths and fun puzzles. Exult in the liberating declaration, “I don’t know!”

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Wherever you wander, be alert for signals that remind you of who you used to be. This will stimulate your creative speculation about who you want to evolve into during the next few years. As you ruminate about your history, you will get inspirations about who you want to become. The past will speak vividly, in ways that hint at your best possible future. So welcome clues from people who are no longer alive. Be receptive to old allies and influences that are no longer a central part of your world.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

“Crown shyness” is a phenomenon seen among some trees like lodgepole pines. In forests, they grow big and strong and tall, yet avoid touching each other at their tops. This creates canopies full of pronounced gaps. What causes this curious phenomenon? First, if branches don’t brush up against each other, harmful insects find it harder to spread from tree to tree. Second, when winds blow, branches are less likely to collide with each other and cause damage. There’s a third benefit: More sunlight penetrates to the forest floor, nourishing animals and other plants. I propose that you adopt crown shyness as a metaphor for your use, Leo. Express your beauty to the max—be bold and vivid and radiant—but also provide plenty of space for your allies to shine. Be your authentically amazing self, but create boundaries that allow others to be their amazing selves.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Some astrologers assert that you Virgos suffer from an ambition deficit. They authoritatively assert that a fiery aspiration to achieve greatness never burns hot within you. But in the coming months, I will work to show you a different

perspective. Let’s start now: Many of you Virgos are highly skilled at being self-sufficient. But sometimes this natural strength warps into a hesitancy to ask for help and support. And that can diminish your ability to fulfill your ambitions. My goal will be to celebrate and nurture your self-sufficiency even as I coach you to be dynamic about gathering all the assistance you can.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Life is not fair. In the coming days, you will be odd proof of this fact. That’s because you are likely to be the beneficiary of uncommon luck. The only kind of karma that will be operating in your vicinity will be good karma. X-factors and wild cards will be more available to you than usual. Your timing will be impeccable, and your intuition will be extra incisive. You may even be tempted to theorize that life is conspiring to bring you an extra supply of meaningful experiences. Here’s the clincher: If anyone in your sphere is prone to feeling envy because you’re flourishing, your charm will defuse it.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Here are three questions to ruminate on: 1. What resources are you afraid you will run out of or squander? 2. What if your fear of running out or squandering these resources obstructs your ability to understand what you need to know and do so that you won’t run out or squander them? 3. How can you dissolve the fear and feel confident that the necessary resources will keep steadily flowing in, and you will use them well?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Most stars have at least one companion star, sometimes two. Our sun, which is all alone, is in the minority. Astronomers have found evidence that our home star once had a companion but lost it. Is there any chance of this situation changing in the future? Might our sun eventually link up with a new compatriot? It’s not likely. But in contrast to our sun’s fate, I suspect that 2025 will offer you a significant diminishment in your personal loneliness quotient. If you crave more camaraderie and togetherness, the coming months will be a favorable time to seek them out. Your meditation question: What’s the opposite of loneliness?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

In the coming weeks, your authenticity will be your greatest strength. The more genuine and honest you are, the more life will reward you. Be alert for situations that may seem to demand camouflage when in fact they will ultimately reward your complete transparency. You will be most powerful and attractive as you allow yourself to be fully seen. You can even use your vulnerability to your advantage. Be openly, clearly, unabashedly yourself.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

As I envision your life in the coming weeks, I am moved to compare you to certain birds. First, there will be similarities between you and the many species that can literally perceive Earth’s magnetic fields, seeing them as patterns of shadow and light overlaid on their regular vision. You, too, will have an uncanny multi-dimensional awareness that helps guide your travels. Secondly, Aquarius, you will be like the migrating songbirds that recalibrate their internal compass every day when the sun sets. In other words, you will make steady efforts to ensure that your magical ways of knowing are grounded in earthy rhythms.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In some Polynesian cultures, there is a belief that one’s mistakes, including excessive anger, can cause physical sickness. Hawaiians traditionally have employed a ritual remedy for such ills called ho’oponopono It includes acts of atonement, forgiveness and correction. It may even involve a prayer conference where all the people involved talk about their mutual problems with respect and compassion, seeking solutions and restitution. The coming weeks will be a fantastically favorable time for you to carry out your own version of ho’oponopono, Pisces.

urban LIVING

Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

Licensing Us

Last summer, I got pulled over by the Utah Highway Patrol on Interstate 80. I wasn’t speeding and, frankly, I don’t know why he pulled me over.

I have a “fast lane” pass and when he flipped on his lights, I was in that far left lane—so I pulled over to the far left shoulder. The officer was mad as hell for reasons I never determined.

First, he gruffly barked that I pulled into the wrong emergency lane, and that I should have pulled to the shoulder on the far right once he turned on his lights. He said: “This lane is only for us and emergency vehicles.”

Given it was close to rush hour, pulling far to the right would have taken a few miles to move over safely. I also have a handicapped license plate and a hybrid vehicle. Basically, he had nothing to ticket me for and ordered me back into traffic, but informed me that I didn’t have a license plate on the front of my vehicle.

Guess what? Utah drivers are no longer required to have a plate on the front of their vehicles, and I’m not aware of any new car that has a special place for plates anymore. The Legislature killed that requirement last year!

There are a few other changes that passed in 2024 to provide more efficient service, and that will hopefully lead to fewer in-person trips to the DMV. First, instead of two decals for drivers’ plates, there will just be one that we will be required to place on the upper right hand corner. Commercial vehicles can ask for two plates if they feel the need for them.

Second, the license plates will no longer have raised numbers and alphabet letters, and will instead be flat. Supposedly, the plates will look better and save production costs.

Third, plates will now be mailed to drivers when they change or update them. This last feature is what the DMV believes will save drivers from taking trips to their office locations around the state.

Currently, there are four standardissue plate designs, as well as personalized plates, like the old-school black and white plates with no designs; special “group” license plates for folks who support certain nonprofits (Boys and Girls clubs, the Huntsman Cancer Institute, Farm vehicles, the Masons, vets, Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, and many more); Utah-based colleges and plates for drivers with disabilities. Some money from the sale of these specialty plates goes to the non-profits they feature.

In Utah, license plate fees are pretty cheap. The standard is $7.50, personal plates are $16, group plates $21 and the new “blackout” license plates are $25, with an annual fee of $25.

Part of the sale of the blackout plates goes to the Utah State Historical Society. n

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. Sound designed to wake you up

6. Sweetie ___ (term like “darling” or “Baez”)

9. “Hey, over here!”

13. Put your prioritizes toward

14. Quartz division

15. Chain that may sell Linzer

16. Zin ___ (stuck)

17. Only state with a three-word capital city

18. Unlike products of Aziz?

19. Hauler bound to wake you up in the morning

22. Fitz as a fiddle, for instance

25. Poet’s palindromic “before”

26. “Thanks for ___ memorizes”

27. Word after “lazyaway” or “lesson”

28. Hailed czars

31. Felt like yelling “zowie,” but for longer

33. Where GAZ, PAZ, and WIZ are located

34. Singer McEntire

35. Miracle-___ (garden brand)

36. It may wake you up energetically

42. Insect in colonizes

43. Letters before a URL

44. The day before

45. “I hear Yaz!”

48. Rappers’ feud

49. “I’ve ___ zit before”

50. Securities trader, for Shortz

51. Onze, in Spanish

53. They grow into large trezzes

55. Animal noise that’ll wake you up on a farm

59. Pitchfork point

60. Native Zandezan

61. Landlocked Asian republic

65. “Law & Order: SVU” actor

66. Accessorizes

67. Prez-Nintendo console

68. “___ Bridges” (TV show with Johnson and Marzin)

69. Word before nail or nob

70. Caffeine pill brand to keep you awake (or, when respaced, instructions on how to handle many of the clues)

DOWN

1. “Queen Sugar” creator DuVernay

2. Theorizes Getz tested here 3. “Greatest” boxer 4. Welcomed, as the new year 5. Rizzo award in 2016

6. Pocket bread

7. Since who-knows-when

8. Early anesthetic

9. Fezline noise

10. Sherlock Holmes, notably

11. ZZ Top lip feature, informally

12. Had discussions

14. Zazzle ordering site

20. Not so long ago

21. React at the end of Hot Zones, perhaps

22. San Antonio player

23. “Casablanca” character Lund

24. Queenly address

29. “Alizas” network

30. Use the tub

32. Relative of romazine

34. Lapse

35. Was a success

37. Chinese steamed bun

38. Suffix with “Manhattan” or “Brooklyn”

39. ___-reviewed journal

40. Like shares that are split halfsizes

41. Two-digit playing cards

45. Maze of Canadian comedy

46. Beethoven’s Third Symphony

57.

58. Buzzy on a lot

62. Word meaning frizzed, in Thai cuisine

63. The ZA before + might mean this

64. Dick Cheney’s daughter

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to

9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

47. Ribeye alternatives

48. Brunezzi’s island

49. Johannesburg township

52. Mister Zed’s sound

54. Host after Jazzy

56. Adam’s third son in the Zotz

Bozo/Bozo reminder?

NEWS of the WEIRD

Animal Antics

A Starbucks employee in Mobile, Alabama, had to have stitches and rabies vaccinations on Jan. 10 after a pet Aotus monkey jumped out of a car at the drive-thru window and into the restaurant, according to weekly newspaper Lagniappe . The monkey ran up the employee’s arm to her head and started biting her until a coworker grabbed it and threw it back out of the window. Mobile Police Department public information officer Blake Brown said the monkey’s owner, Tammy Elaine Gardner, drove away from the restaurant before police arrived. The wounded employee said Gardner, who had another monkey in the car, later returned to the restaurant to check on her but wouldn’t give her name. “The owner of the animal could face charges,” Brown said. The Starbucks location has banned Gardner and her monkeys from the drive-thru. “She’s welcome to come inside if she leaves them in the car,” the employee said.

Wait, What?

Jose Israel Teran Jr., 21, was taken into custody on Jan. 19 in connection with a road rage incident in San Antonio, KSAT-TV reported. During that confrontation, Teran allegedly shot a man in a semitruck while driving north on I-35. But it was Teran’s earlier criminal activity, on Dec. 30, that really caught law enforcement’s attention. He was accidentally added to a family group text string that day, in which members were discussing a 9-month-old baby’s upcoming baptism. Teran replied to the text, “That’s a nice Caucasian baby how much you want?” He went on to ask, “Are you not interested in selling? I’m willing to start the bid at 500k.” The baby’s father called Teran, who explained that he purchases babies for their organs and could pay in cash or bitcoin. Teran told police he thought the group thread was spam, but he was charged with the purchase and sale of human organs.

Truth Is Stranger Than Netflix

A 3-year-old girl who was visiting Fraser Island in Queensland, Australia, on Jan. 17 was bitten by a dingo, ABC reported. The Queensland Park and Wildlife Service said the girl was bitten on the back of a leg as her family strolled the beach. The family said they were regular visitors and had scanned the beach for dingoes, but “dingoes are quick and it happened suddenly,” said head ranger Linda Behrendorff. Other people came to assist in fighting the dingo off using a kayak paddle. The toddler didn’t go to the hospital and is expected to recover.

Questionable Judgment

A housekeeping crew on a P&O Cruises Australia ship took passengers by surprise in December when they paraded by the ship’s swimming pool wearing their all-white uniforms with pointy white hoods, News.com reported on Jan. 22. The eight crew were dressed as upside-down snow cones, but passengers were horrified and were quick to document the incident on social media. “We were like, ‘are we seeing this correctly,’ it was so bizarre,” said one cruiser from Melbourne. Lynne Scrivens, communications director for the cruise line, said the housekeeping crew are from all over the world and had never heard of the Ku Klux Klan. “They are limited with what resources they have on ships,” she said, explaining that they make do with what they can find for costumes. P&O Cruises Australia issued an apology following the event: “The crew members were horrified.”

Recent Alarming Headline

A plastic surgeon in Taipei City, Taiwan, is being called the “bravest man in Taiwan” after he shared on social media that he had performed his own vasectomy, Oddity Central reported. Chen Wei-nong recorded the surgery for educational purposes and presented the 11 steps necessary to complete the procedure. “It was a strange feeling to touch and suture my own urethra,” he wrote. He reassured followers that the surgery was performed outside of work hours and under the supervision of a urologist, and while he experienced some discomfort following the vasectomy, he felt fine the next day.

Frequent Flyer

Mittens the cat gets around, to wit: On Jan. 13, the 8-year-old Maine coon was booked on a one-way flight from Christchurch, New Zealand, to Melbourne, Australia, Sky News reported. But in Melbourne, Mittens was never unloaded from the baggage compartment. Instead, three hours later, the airline revealed that Mittens had flown back to New Zealand—about 7.5 hours in the air. Owner Margo Neas was told a wheelchair in the cargo area had obscured Mittens’ cage from the baggage handler’s view. “It was not a great start to our new life in Melbourne because we didn’t have the family, we weren’t complete,” said Neas. After arriving back in Christchurch, Mittens was loaded onto another flight to Melbourne, where she was reunited with her family. She “ran into my arms and just snuggled up in here,” Neas said. “It was just such a relief.”

Unclear on the Concept

Drug counselor Alvin Lewis Jr., 54, was arrested in Wappingers Falls, New York, on Jan. 14 after he sold crack cocaine to undercover agents on multiple occasions, Mid Hudson News reported. Community members had alerted the Dutchess County Drug Task Force that Lewis was selling drugs while using multiple aliases. He worked the overnight hours at an inpatient recovery facility, Arms Acres. After executing a warrant, agents discovered crack packaged and ready for sale in his home. He was held in the county jail without bail.

Awwwww!

A sunfish at the Kaikyokan Aquarium in Shimonoseki, Japan, has a new lease on life—or at least, new “friends” to share it with. The New York Post reported that the sunfish, who is the sole occupant of its tank, became depressed and stopped eating after the aquarium closed for renovations in December. “One of the staff members said, ‘Maybe it’s lonely because it misses the visitors,’” said an aquarium worker. “We attached uniforms of the staff members to the tank with a little bit of hope. Then, the next day, it was in good health again!” Workers say the sunfish tracks the uniforms and face cutouts with its eyes as it swims by, and those still in the building wave to it every time they pass the tank.

News You Can Use

A23a, an enormous iceberg that broke away from Antarctica almost 40 years ago, has been spinning around the Antarctic Ocean for a year, caught in a vortex, the Mirror reported. But now it’s on the move again, headed roughly toward South Georgia, a British-owned island that is largely uninhabited. A23a, at more than 1,200 feet thick and 1,400 square miles, can be seen from space. Sea captain Simon Wallace, stationed on the Pharos vessel in South Georgia, told the BBC: “Icebergs are inherently dangerous. I would be extraordinarily happy if it just completely missed us.” A collision could threaten wildlife on the island, including penguins, seals and sea birds. The iceberg’s fate depends on currents and whether it gets “stuck” on the continental shelf around the island.

The Golden Age of Air Travel

On Jan. 17, as a Ryanair flight prepared to leave Lanzarote, Spain, and fly to Santiago de Compostela, a male passenger insisted that he was a United Nations diplomat and had purchased a seat in the front row of the aircraft, the Mirror reported. When flight attendants asked to see his boarding pass, he said his friend had it. Once he was removed from the front row, he tried to sit in an exit row. An airport worker boarded the plane to say that “there was a ticket that hadn’t scanned properly,” and that’s when the flight crew decided he had to go. Police boarded the plane and had to drag the man off the aircraft as he said, “I have paid to travel” and “I am not going to accept this.” The flight was delayed about 40 minutes.