City Weekly March 27, 2025

Spin Doctors

A self-described “fat” Salt Laker’s journey toward fitness, one cycling class at a time.

By Matt Pacenza

S AP

BOX

“Dust to Dust,” March 20 News

So weird that people are much more comfortable with the “traditional” method of pumping bodies full of chemicals and trapping them eternally in underground boxes than they are with the “radical” method of letting them biodegrade and return to the earth.

DOUG SMEATH-LIVAS Via Facebook

But when I do human composting, I’m the weirdo …

JAKE GARN Via Facebook

Great article. Starks Funeral Parlor is the best around—they are very compassionate and they care.

SONJA VAN EMMERIK-PETERSON Via Facebook

Thank you for doing a story on this! Hopefully, the next legislative session will be third-time’s-the-charm to get the bill passed to have it offered here in Utah! Starks are truly revolutionary and amazing when it comes to after-death care.

SWEETPJESS Via Instagram

Starks is such an amazing place! They do such a great job!

CULLENNATALIE Via Instagram

I have to educate myself of this revolutionary idea. Starks has been, and would be my choice to deal with end of life situations. Good, solid and compassionate people.

GOSIAMICH Via Instagram

“Hill’s Bills,” March 21 Online

I think that dictating what local governments can or cannot endorse is a huge overstep for Republicans. If SLC wants to fly the Pride flag, they should be allowed to choose that because freedom of expression is a fundamental right in this country.

PAUL CAMPBELL Via Facebook

America voted for racism and bigotry and now we are here. Sucks for us that didn’t vote for him.

DAVE CALDWELL Via Facebook

Please don’t veto [HB77]. Two genders, let’s keep our children safe and stable.

MURDE INKS Via Facebook

Governments should never show overt allegiance to any cults—and I mean, any cults.

TIEG HAMER Via Facebook

“Facing

Change,” March 20

Small Lake City

The [Fleet Block] plans have been shared with the families. Let’s continue supporting the families at this time.

BLACKLIVESMATTERUT Via Instagram

I hope the city follows through with a permanent memorial.

JCORDELLSEAMONS Via Instagram

This was history I was able to witness with my children. They better do something that honors all of these individuals that need to be remembered and honored.

COLVINING_PHOTOGRAPHY Via Instagram

Correction: The Best of Utah Body and Mind results published in the March 20, 2025, issue of City Weekly mischaracterized the award category for Aimee Hadfield, LCSW, who was voted Best Experiential Therapist by CW readers.

THE WATER COOLER

Write a haiku for the goings-on of our world right now

Katharine Biele

When day dreaming turns Into day drinking to keep Away the fake news

Wes Long

Greed and fascism, Outcome of forty years’ work: A world safe for none.

Bryan Bale

Autocrats seize pow’r

Aggressive expansionists In America?

Scott Renshaw

DOGE-y behavior

Everything about it stinks What’s that smell? It’s Musk.

Doug Kruithof

Music Life Matters

Life or Death Music Matters Music Death Matters

Carolyn Campbell

Lives are dashed by Trump They want him hit with a bump On his head or rump

Benjamin Wood

I’ve heard some people Drive everywhere, every day Sounds lonely and sad

OPINION

BY ZACH JACOB

Careful What You Wish For

If hardliners like Phil Lyman, a former lawmaker and gubernatorial candidate, gain control of the Utah GOP, and if they manage to repeal SB54, ending the signature-gathering option for primary candidates—it could be the best thing to happen to the Utah Republican Party.

Hear me out.

Since the passage of SB54 in 2014, far-right hardliners have managed to monopolize the GOP delegate nomination system. Passed as a compromise between the Utah Legislature and backers of the Count My Vote initiative, SB54 created a dual path to the partisan primary ballot: candidates could either gather signatures or go through the traditional caucus and convention process.

In the decade under SB54, mainstream conservative candidates have had the luxury of a signature “back up” plan, should they fail to woo enough party delegates to support them at convention. But party purists see the signature path as an assault on the caucus/convention system, allowing establishment-friendly candidates to avoid the scrutiny of the delegates.

Lyman’s crusade against SB54 is also personal. In 2024, he dominated the state GOP convention in the gubernatorial race, soundly defeating incumbent Gov. Spencer Cox in that setting. But Cox, using the signature path, advanced to the primary, where he easily defeated Lyman.

To Lyman, this proved that the signature path allows establishment-backed candidates to ignore the will of the “true” Republican base. But what if getting rid of SB54 had the exact opposite effect?

The last time Utah had a caucus/convention-only system was in 2012. That year, “mainstream” Republicans like the late Sen. Orrin Hatch and former Gov. Gary Herbert faced serious challenges from the right—Hatch from Dan Liljenquist and Herbert from Morgan Philpot and others. Establishment

attorney general candidate John Swallow was challenged from the right by his eventual successor Sean Reyes.

It was a test of whether Utah’s GOP establishment could survive in a system where a few thousand ultra-engaged delegates held the keys to the ballot. The answer? They absolutely could—when the establishment voters showed up.

Hatch and Herbert saw the threat coming and executed a strategy of packing the caucus. Hatch, especially, went all in, spending multiple thousands of dollars urging widespread participation by mainstream Republicans at their neighborhood caucuses.

My precinct had more than 60 attendees, compared to the 10 or fewer we’ve averaged in the years since. In some precincts, caucus attendance in 2012 was in the hundreds.

The result? Liljenquist managed to squeak through the convention in second place and face Hatch in the primary, where he was soundly defeated. Herbert walked away with the nomination outright at convention.

The lesson? When moderate and establishment Republicans choose to engage in the caucus, they win.

However, since 2014, SB54 has allowed candidates to gather signatures and go straight to the primary ballot, which has given moderates an escape hatch. They don’t have to play the caucus game.

That’s why hard-right candidates have gained so much influence at the convention and in party leadership— they’re the only ones consistently showing up.

But let’s say that SB54 disappears, as opponents have clamored for since its passage. No more signature path. Suddenly, moderate and pragmatic conservatives have no choice but to engage in the caucus system again.

They start showing up in force, just like in 2012. The delegate pool shifts—instead of being dominated by a small group of activists, it starts to better resemble the broader Utah GOP. And Utah has repeatedly shown that the broader GOP electorate supports more moderate conservative candidates, like Mitt Romney, Spencer Cox and John Curtis.

Think what it would mean for races like the one in House District 16 in 2022. Far-right challenger Trevor Lee took out long-time moderate incumbent Steve Handy at convention and went on to win the general election. Although Handy chose not to gather signatures, it’s not unreasonable to conclude that, but for SB54 more moderate Republicans

would have shown up on caucus night, and the delegates at the convention would have been more representative of the greater party. Without SB54, Rep. Trevor Lee might not be representing Davis County in the Legislature today.

The same dynamic played out in 2018, when now-Congressman Mike Kennedy upset former Sen. Mitt Romney at convention—only for Romney to obliterate Kennedy in the primary. If SB54 hadn’t existed, Romney would have had no choice but to focus on convention delegates, and that would have changed the composition of who showed up.

A post-SB54 Utah could look a lot like pre-SB54 Utah, with caucus night once again the critical election battleground. Center-right moderates, knowing it’s their only path to victory, would organize, strategize and show up in force. The ultra-right’s iron grip on the convention would loosen, fast.

If SB54’s signature path had not been available to Gov. Cox in 2024, he likely would have trounced Lyman at the convention—because his campaign and strategy would have been totally different, and because the broader Utah GOP has shown that they’re not the far-right ideologues that Lyman et al. would have us believe them to be.

And just like how moderate independents and Democrats switch their registration to vote in GOP primaries (much to the dismay of Republicans in the Utah Legislature), you’d see that same dynamic shifted to the caucus meetings. People who actually represent the majority of Utah Republicans would step up and take control of the process, just like Hatch’s team did in 2012.

The far-right activists who think they’ll own the caucus forever? They’d be in for a rude awakening if SB54, and signature gathering, went away.

So, to the Lymans and Chris Nulls (former Salt Lake County GOP chairman) and Mike Lees of the world—be careful what you wish for. If you repeal SB54, you might just be handing power right back to the moderates you despise, and you’ll end up with even less representation than you have now. CW

Private Eye is off this week. Zach Jacob is a member of the West Jordan City Council and former Republican. He previously served in the Utah GOP as a state and county delegate and a 2022 candidate for Utah House. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

variety of job opportunities from Logan to

pay: every Monday, Wednesday & Friday

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE

MISS: Tesla Terrorism

As governor, Spencer Cox has a unique opportunity to speak out for the people he serves. We have yet to see it. Instead, he appears to get his marching orders from a higher authority—and it’s not God. Most recently, he’s been excoriating protesters—sort of. “People should protest to their heart’s content—and they should be imprisoned for any property damage or breaking of any laws,” Cox was quoted in the Deseret News. He was, of course, talking about attacks on Tesla dealerships and automobiles. Our senior senator, Mike Lee, calls it all “domestic terrorism.” How soon they forget. There’s a Facebook meme circulating that says it well: “Those people aren’t attacking Tesla dealerships. They are tourists showing love. I learned that on January 6, 2021.” The thing is, no one has been hurt or killed in the Tesla-sphere. No worries because, if they were, the president would simply pardon them.

HIT: Tough Crowds

Speaking of protests—goferit! Politico reports that House Republicans are being discouraged from holding town halls because of all the anger over DOGE and co-president Elon Musk. Utah Reps. Celeste Maloy, Mike Kennedy and Blake Moore got a taste of that at their recent gatherings, with shouts of “Do your job” and “What do you think checks and balances are?” Moore, who is co-chair of the DOGE caucus (whatever that is) witnessed some 300 protesters chanting and raising signs. But he says he “understands” their frustration. Sure he does. That’s why Congress has stood by while hundreds of federal workers are being fired and crucial services are being cut, while the president thinks of ways to disregard court orders and, frankly, good sense. Meanwhile, Sen. Lee seems to be using X/Twitter as his town hall and is thinking a virtual one might be safest until the administration is able to eliminate that pesky free-speech thing.

MISS: Government Secrets

Home in the City

On a recent Sunday, my kids asked me if they could spend the afternoon at the downtown Main Library. I often let them go without me but on that day, I wanted to join. I told them to head out and that I’d meet them after I was done washing dishes. Some time later, I arrived and found them engaged in a serious chess match using the life-size set available on the Library’s ground floor.

Seeing that they’d be preoccupied for a while longer, I located a corner to do some writing. And over the course of my time at the library, I interacted with several individuals who, by all appearances, were homeless.

One was getting what seemed to be a much-needed snooze. Another was enjoying a show on his phone. Another was cleaning up for the day in the bathroom. And another, unlike the rest of us, was actually reading a book.

Later that day, I found myself reflecting on how rare of an experience that might be for many people in this state—to spend a meaningful amount of time in proximity to people experiencing homelessness. And because my kids are growing up downtown, they live their lives accustomed to interacting with homeless people.

It’s not that my children or I think that homelessness is acceptable in a state as prosperous as Utah. Over the years, our family has donated significant time, money and direct personal efforts to these vulnerable individuals, to help them escape the cycle of poverty and drug abuse.

For a lot of people, however, it’s hard to be around homelessness at all. They aren’t accustomed to seeing it and it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Now for the people’s right to know—or not. The governor was not impressed by 200 emails asking to leave Utah’s government records process alone. Two bills passed the Legislature that would change and ultimately weaken Utah’s Government Records and Management Act (GRAMA). One would eliminate the State Records Committee, replacing it with an appointed attorney. The other makes it more difficult to challenge denials and recoup fees. Records requesters can only recoup their attorney fees if they can prove the government acted in bad faith when records were initially denied. Not every citizen needs to use GRAMA, but those who do shouldn’t face insurmountable barriers. And for that reason, the Legislature “won” the Society of Professional Journalists’ Black Hole Award. Good job, Utah Legislature, in

And this group of Utahns, unfortunately, includes many of our state legislators, people who—not having taken the time to personally understand and experience the issues—fault local Salt Lake City leaders for having the audacity to take in and care for the troubled souls who come to us from all over the Wasatch Front region.

Instead, these Utahns spend their time fearmongering and vilifying the presence of homeless individuals in our downtown. They pass bills threatening to bring in their own police force if we do not remove these people from their view while they are enjoying a hockey game or dinner at a restaurant.

And frankly, that’s what you can expect when the people who don’t spend meaningful time downtown make laws governing those who do.

But I have hope that the generation of children who are now growing up downtown will take their firsthand experience to the Legislature when the time comes. And they’ll pass laws not from a place of discomfort and fear, but rather from a place of empathy, compassion and sincere desire to care for our neighbors. CW

VEGETABLE NURSERY

Whether one’s thumb is a bright green or of another hue entirely, it’s always reassuring to have quality supplies and expert assistance on hand for any project. Wherever you might live across our landscape, consider the knowledgeable advice and reliable items that are provided by these great garden centers:

WESTERN GARDEN CENTERS

COOK’S FARM & GREENHOUSE THE

STREET GREENHOUSE

J&J NURSERY AND GARDEN CENTER COUNTRY GARDENS NURSERY THRIVE NURSERY

THEATER

Locked Down

The Beatrix Potter Defense Society explores how isolation inspired the work of the beloved author

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Time in isolation can inspire all manner of intriguing creative outlets. Such was the case with Beatrix Potter, the beloved author of The Tale of Peter Rabbit and other stories, and the subject of the new play The Beatrix Potter Defense Society. It was also true of the play’s author, Janine Sobeck Knighton, in the origins of the play itself.

Knighton, an author and faculty member at Utah Valley University, was experiencing a high-risk pregnancy in 2020, and continued to remain in lockdown for precautionary reasons even as Utah was beginning to open up while the COVID pandemic lingered.

“I had to stay in isolation longer, and that was really hard,” Knighton recalls. “So I started looking for stories of people who had been in isolation, to try to find some kindred spirits.”

She found one in Beatrix Potter, whom Knighton discovered had been kept with her brother mostly locked up in their nursery in London—eventually with many pets—for much of their childhood. The exception came during summer stays in the country, allowing young Beatrix a rare liberation. The Beatrix Potter Defense Society captures Beatrix during one of these summers in the Lake District of England, at the age of 16 in 1882, interacting with another real-life figure, the painter Edith Rawnsley.

Knighton learned about these summer visits while researching Potter’s philanthropic efforts buying land in the Lake District to preserve it from development.

“She had written a lot of her books from there, but was born in London, so I was curious what had taken her to that place,” Knighton says. “I discovered this isolation her parents had put her in really only happened when they were in London. The summers offered this sense of freedom, and being able to be truly herself. … I was fascinated with the idea of how that childhood led to the famous children’s author we know.”

As a famous public figure, Beatrix Potter has already been the subject of many fictionalized interpretations, and Knighton acknowledges that she was familiar with some of them, including the 2008 biopic Miss Potter starring Renée Zellweger. For Knighton, however, it was important not to focus on those other interpretations, and to stick to primary source materials and non-fiction biographies in her research. Most significantly, she wanted to capture Beatrix at a particular point in her life—as a teenager, trying to understand who she wanted to become. And to accomplish that, she emulated her subject.

“I’m doing one of the things Beatrix did: Respect the age,” Knighton says. “One of the things that made her successful as an artist is that she respected the children she wrote for, down to designing the books to

Pioneer Theatre Company: A Case for the Existence of God

be small so that they’d fit in their hands. As a writer, I’m always trying to tap into my connection with that character—my own memories of really struggling with who I am. [Beatrix] has this sense that her life can be more, but she has obstacles she doesn’t really know how to get around. I think that’s true of 16-year-olds, but it’s also true of 30-year-olds, and 50-year-olds.”

One of the details about young Beatrix Potter’s life that fascinated Knighton was the existence of a journal she kept in her youth, written in a substitution cipher— one that was discovered and decoded only after the author’s death in 1943. It offered an insight into the idea that Beatrix felt she might need to keep hidden the person she was becoming.

“One of the kind of questions that the play is exploring is, Beatrix wrestling with her identity as an artist, and what kind of art she’s going to do,” Knighton says. “And a bit of fear about the art she feels compelled to do. She was trained in the style, which was very common at the time, of … looking at the world, and copying it exactly. … This sense of going beyond what you see, and more what you imagine, is what I’m exploring. This idea that she had some hesitation of revealing all aspects of herself—her thoughts and her process—defi-

It’s almost conventional wisdom now that the traditional “American Dream” has become ever more inaccessible to younger generations. And it’s also clear that some kinds of people feel farther removed from that dream than others. Those realities are enough to make some people lose faith— which feels like part of the inspiration behind the title of A Case for the Existence of God, the 2022 play by Samuel D. Hunter, whose The Whale was the source material for the Oscar-winning film of the same name.

The story is set in an Idaho office, where mortgage broker Keith is meeting with Ryan, a client trying to secure a loan to buy land. Surprisingly, they discover that they have something in common: Both are in the middle of challenging custody battles, though with very different foundations. In a 2024 interview with SpeakEasy Stage, Hunter shared that the origins came from his own recent experience as a gay man trying to adopt a child and buy an apartment. “It was staggering to me how difficult both of those processes were—these very normal, middle-class goals, to own property and have a family,” Hunter says. “I think it said something about our current moment, how difficult it is for so many Americans to lead middle-class lives. So I wanted to write a play that actively wrestled with that.” Pioneer Theatre Company’s production of A Case for the Existence of God comes to the Meldrum Theatre (375 S. 1400 East) March 28 – April 12. Tickets are $44 - $62, with a “Pay What You Can” performance Monday, March 31. Visit pioneertheatre.org. (Scott Renshaw)

nitely plays into how the story plays out.”

Even as an adult, Potter found herself encountering obstacles to her interests, which included science as well as illustration and storytelling. For many years, she devoted herself to the study of mycology—mushrooms—creating detailed watercolors of her subjects and attempting to submit scientific papers that were rejected because she was a woman.

“She was supporting a theory of another scientist who was seen as pretty radical at the time, but did turn out to be true,” Knighton notes. “She had already written Peter Rabbit at that time, which started as a letter to a former governess to entertain [the governess’s] sick child. … She was already telling those stories, but whether she would have continued it if she had been able to do something with her science … that’s a question I hope to ask her some day.” CW

THE BEATRIX POTTER DEFENSE SOCIETY Plan-B Theatre Company Rose Wagner Studio Theatre 138 W. 300 South March 27 – April 13 saltlakecountyarts.org

SARAH MESERVY

Sibley Snowden and Flo Bravo in

The Beatrix Potter Defense Society

theESSENTIALS

Science Friday Live

Remember that nerdy kid who consistently made straight A’s and loved to show off for the teacher? We do, too. So here’s your chance to score the same status by attending a live, in-person recording of one of America’s favorite radio shows, National Public Radio’s Science Friday Big brains Ira Flatow and Flora Lichtman, along with other experts, offer insights specifically related to our own home state. They’ll introduce Lokiceratops, a behemoth some 78 million years old. That’s older than most politicians! And what could be peachier than the Southwest peach, once cultivated by Native American tribes? They’ll also show the complexities of bringing cells to life. (No, it’s not about charging your cell phone.) Likewise, for those who ever marveled at a natural history diorama that brought the past to life with amazing detail, representatives from the University of Utah’s Animation Lab and the Natural History Museum of Utah will explain how complicated science concepts are recreated and shared with Hollywood blockbusters. Interactive activities, a Q&A, live music and science demonstrations will prove that TV’s Mr. Wizard was right: Science can be fun! And given that the program will be recorded for a future Science Friday broadcast, it also offers an opportunity to show that former smart-aleck classmate you’ve made it to the head of the class as well. Live at the Eccles presents Science Friday Live on Saturday, March 29 at 7 p.m. at the Eccles Theater’s Delta Hall (131 S. Main St.). Tickets cost $25 - $65, and the program is recommended for ages 8 and up. Visit saltlakecountyarts.org for tickets and additional event information. (Lee Zimmerman)

Odyssey Dance: Shut Up & Dance

After returning from its nearly two-year hiatus to present its popular Halloween Thriller production and Christmasthemed spectacular, all that was really left to feel like Odyssey Dance was fully back in its groove was to get another installment of the spring show Shut Up & Dance So now here we are, with the gifted dancers from the company— which has produced nine dancers as finalists on the popular TV series So You Think You Can Dance—presenting an evening combining one old favorite with several brand-new works. It’s a format that allows for the demonstration of a wide range of choreographic styles, from hip-hop to modern dance and more. In addition to a return of the period-piece-themed Moulin Rouge—now retitled The Can Can Club—which was originally created in 2007 and returned more than a decade later, the program includes three original works: a world-premiere created by former Odyssey dancer Christian Denice; a hip-hop piece by former Odyssey dancer Jeffrey Louizia; and a work by company founder Derryl Yeager set to Leonard Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms. “The title says it all,” Yeager shares in a press release. “Dance is an amazing form of expression that doesn’t require manuals and textbooks to understand. It communicates to all and across all boundaries.”

The 2025 production of Odyssey Dance’s Shut Up & Dance comes to the Grand Theatre (1575 S. State) for five performances only, April 2 – 5 at 7:30 p.m., with a 2 p.m. matinee on Saturday, April 5. Tickets are $22 - $40; visit odysseydance.com to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (SR)

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, MARCH 27-APRIL 2, 2025

Complete listings online at

COURTESY

Slight the Power

The Penguin Lessons and Death of a Unicorn fumble the question of what to do when faced with a broken system

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

How do you respond when you can no longer ignore that the system is broken? That’s not a direct challenge as it applies to our present moment—although, let’s face it, it could be—but it’s a terrific moral question on which to hang a narrative. Plenty of people move blithely through life not particularly concerned about injustice when it doesn’t directly affect them; awakening to the reality that silence is complicity can be the stuff of real character drama.

It’s kind of a bummer, then, when you see a movie that seems willing to take on that idea, but does so sloppily. That’s the case in The Penguin Lessons, a fact-based story taken from a memoir written by Tom Michell (played here by Steve Coogan), a British-born educator who takes a job

school in Buenos Aires circa 1976, just at the outset of Argentina’s military coup overthrowing the Perón regime. During a temporary closure caused by the political disruption, Michell takes a vacation in Uruguay and—through a convoluted series of events—winds up in possession of a penguin rescued from an oil slick. In theory, Michell’s responsibility for his new avian friend leads him on a journey from what the school’s pragmatic headmaster (Jonathan Pryce) refers to as a “head down sort of fellow” who won’t make waves, to one willing to stand up to injustices like the kidnapping of one of the school’s custodial staff (Alfonsina Carrocio). The path towards that nascent activism, however, feels like a pretty circuitous one, requiring a stop for the revelation that Michell is still grieving a lost daughter, so maybe the penguin reminds him of her, which in turn leads him to caring for others, or something of the sort. And though Coogan’s history as a performer should find him excelling when playing a character who’s self-absorbed, here he mostly seems to be emotionally constipated. While director Peter Cattaneo (The Full Monty) understands how to handle more light-hearted stuff involving the way Michell incorporates his penguin into his teaching, and you get some charm out of Michell’s interactions with other characters, The Penguin Lessons doesn’t really

know how to make the transition from that stuff to opening your eyes and realizing you’re staring into the face of fascism.

A different kind of come-to-Jesus drives Death of a Unicorn, as well as a radically different tone. It’s a dark monster comedy involving a corporate attorney named Elliot (Paul Rudd) who travels with his college-age daughter, Ridley (Jenna Ortega), to the Canadian Rockies for a potentially huge career moment with his boss, terminally-ill pharmaceutical CEO Odell Leopold (Richard E. Grant). On the drive to Odell’s estate, however, Elliot and Ridley hit what turns out to be a unicorn—and the discovery that the unicorn’s blood and horn have healing properties sets off an increasingly messy encounter with the creature’s parents.

Writer/director Alex Scharfman’s debut feature leans into the genre side of things, as Unicorn Daddy and Unicorn Mommy eventually wreak their bloody vengeance. Yet this is also supposed to be a satire about what happens when corporate avarice encounters a new resource to exploit, accentuated by the strained relationship between Ridley and her widowed dad, and whether or not Elliot will come to a realization that he’s working for the real monster.

Unfortunately, Scharfman generally appears far more interested in teasing out a convoluted mythology for his fan-

tastic beasts—discovered, as such things are in 21st-century movies, via plenty of Googling—than centering Elliot’s enlightenment. The wicked charms of many of the supporting performances—Will Poulter as Odell’s pathetic failson; Téa Leoni as Odell’s earnest wife who manages the family charities; Anthony Carrigan as the family’s put-upon servant—make it even more evident how bland our theoretical protagonists are, particularly Ortega, in what now feels like her default “sullen goth kid” mode.

As much material as there is to be mined from choosing to give a shit, it’s a notion that seems to demand a genuine edge. Here are two cases where what could have been a rebel yell instead feels like a polite clearing of the throat. CW

THE PENGUIN LESSONS

BB ½

Steve Coogan

Jonathan Pryce

Rated PG-13

Available March 28 in theaters

DEATH OF A UNICORN

BB ½

Jenna Ortega

Paul Rudd

Rated R

Available March 28 in theaters

SPIN DOCTORS

A SELF-DESCRIBED “FAT” SALT LAKER’S JOURNEY TOWARD FITNESS, ONE CYCLING CLASS AT A TIME.

BY MATT PACENZA COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

I feel heavy.

I feel heavy on Thursday, Dec. 12, as I enter an indoor cycling studio in Sugar House, nervous about returning to group fitness for the first time in years. I am heavy. I weigh 235 lbs, the most I have ever weighed. I am fat.

A few years ago, I learned I had high blood pressure, a condition closely linked to obesity. Medications help to control it, but recently, I received a more humiliating diagnosis. My frequent naps, and terrifying episodes nodding off behind the wheel, have a common origin: Sleep apnea.

As I’ve become heavier, the passages in my neck have narrowed. I don’t bring in enough oxygen at night, which causes me to wake roughly 30 times per hour, according to my recent sleep study. Yikes.

I have been prescribed a CPAP device. At night, I wear a mask that forces air into my narrow airways while I sleep. It works, but I avoid mirrors at bedtime to duck the dumpy Hannibal Lecter who stares back at me.

I am grateful I can correct the condition—but I also know that I am treating the symptoms of my obesity, not the cause.

And so, I decided this winter to shove my 53-year-old body into better shape. Over two months, I attended two dozen indoor cycling classes at four Salt Lake City gyms, trying out affordable introductory offers at each.

I felt more than a little ridiculous as I perched in the back row of these classes, trying to keep pace, clad in my skin-tight bike shorts while my red headband failed to restrain my sweaty mop of curly, greying hair.

I looked like an ancient, bloated Richard Simmons, next to the svelte, taut frames that surrounded me.

I have developed strong opinions about which facilities are superior (see sidebar on page 16). I met the owners of several gyms and learned that for these Salt Lake entrepreneurs, their work is more than just a job. In the process, I have learned about my health and about the myths that envelop our sense of what it means to be fit—and fat.

Home Workout

When I enter Chvrch (pronounced “church”) Cycle on 900 South and West Temple, I immediately feel welcome. It’s not only the warm greeting at the front desk, or the diverse group of riders and instructors, but because this cycling gym has been built in what was once a home.

Naomi Pacheco and Natasha Ponomaroff, the co-founders and co-owners of Chvrch, are a couple, engaged to be married. They embrace their diversity—“We are very loud about being queer- and Latina-owned,” says Ponomaroff—because they believe in being role models.

“I saw an opportunity where I could be an example for younger minority girls in Utah,” says Pacheco.

The two met, fittingly, in a cycling class. Pacheco—a Salt Lake City native who had a career as a dancer and choreographer in Southern California—was teaching at a different local studio. Ponomaroff, newly moved to Salt Lake for a tech job, took her class in 2019.

“It was hard to find a gym that I felt comfortable in,” recalled Ponomaroff, “until I met Naomi and saw the work she was doing. And I fell in love.”

Pacheco is a terrific instructor, one of the strongest I encountered. Good cycling teachers are encouraging and enthusiastic—but they aren’t afraid to push, to urge you to add more resistance or to pedal harder.

They also choose good music, beyond the repetitive EDM that fills many studios. The two women soon realized that they were a strong match for starting a

to Salt Lake City's indoor cycling gyms—and their introductory trial offers—to build momentum on a jouney of physical fitness.

business. Pacheco had experience teaching fitness, while Ponomaroff worked in marketing. When the pandemic hit, they had time not just to deepen their relationship but also to plan Chvrch.

One of Chvrch’s innovations—headphones—grew out of the pandemic. In many gyms, I struggle to hear both the music and the instructor’s commands. The two end up a soggy mix of loudness. But at Chvrch, I can raise and lower the volume as I see fit and I can always hear the instructor and the beat.

The headphones emerged when Pacheco began to teach outdoor classes during the pandemic. Her brother would help load their 19 stationary bicycles onto a trailer, and they would offer safe, outdoor classes at locations like the fountains at City Creek. With headphones, they could be portable, allowing riders to pedal without fear—yet still hear.

However, outdoor classes were a seasonal solution. And in 2021, the Chvrch founders began seeking indoor space. Then, something cosmic intervened: One day, having lunch in the Central Ninth neighborhood, they noticed a former home that had just come on the market.

The space felt—well—homey. They loved the location, the wooden floors and the natural light. And, given their commitment to social justice, equity and inclusion, they would be certain of their choice when they found out later about the home’s connection to a sad chapter in Salt Lake City history.

The Martins, an African American family devastated by an act of racial violence, lived in that home for decades. Their son, David Martin, 18, was shot and killed

Matt Pacenza turned

Continued from page 14

in Liberty Park in 1980, along with his friend Ted Fields, 20, by a white supremacist named Joseph Paul Franklin.

Later, Pacheco and Ponomaroff would meet a niece of the family, who would tour the gym and point out the small touches of the Martins that remained, like the family’s fireplace.

It is not uncommon in blue cities like Salt Lake to hear small business owners talk about their commitment to diversity and inclusion. However, Chvrch’s founders say the numbers show they are making group fitness available to a broader clientele. It’s not just rhetoric.

“Seventy percent of our riders have never taken a group exercise class before,” says Ponomaroff. “They were afraid. They tried and didn’t feel part of the club. Other studios preach about inclusivity, but you don’t see it when you look around. You do at Chvrch.”

Bells and Whistles

Denise Druce has been teaching exercise classes in Utah for nearly 45 years, starting with high impact aerobics in 1981.

“The only thing I had to learn from was my Jane Fonda VHS tape,” she recalls “It was so brand new. There were just a handful of us.”

Druce helped create step aerobics and then was one of the first instructors to lead cycling classes locally in the mid-1990s. Indoor cycling classes were born just a few years earlier, when a South African cyclist named Johnny G developed the program to offer a safe indoor venue for riders who wanted to train at night or when it was cold.

Druce became a certified trainer with Schwinn, which soon dominated an industry that came to be known as “spinning.” That era of indoor cycling, she says, was meant to mimic the experience of riding outdoors.

Spin instructors would urge riders to sprint, to climb and to visualize themselves in a bike race.

For Schwinn, Druce said, indoor cycling was meant to complement riding outside. “We believed,” she said, “If you don’t do it out there, don’t do it in here.”

Druce was the first cycling instructor I ever had, at the now defunct 24 Hour Fitness in Sugar House. She was extraordinary—kind, funny and encouraging. I was so taken by her spirit and wisdom that I have been receiving—and reading—her newsletter about fitness and life for the past decade.

Indoor cycling classes have evolved significantly since my first class with Druce in the early 2010s. All four gyms where I took classes these recent months embrace several key innovations. Riders are encouraged, but not required, to do choreography while on the bike—in rhythm with the music’s beat, riders change their grip position, move their hips back and forth, rotate their torsos, or do partial push-ups.

All four gyms also include a weightlifting portion.

During one song, later in the workout, riders lift light weights—typically 3 to 10 pounds in each hand—while perched on their bikes. Keeping those curls and presses going for 3 or 4 minutes is challenging. It exhausts me more than any other part of the workout.

Druce supports any activity that gets people to move their bodies, but she’s skeptical of the bells and whistles that accompany indoor cycling today.

“You have traded effectiveness for entertainment,” she observes. “I’m a purist. Do yoga on a yoga mat. Do your core workout on the floor. Ride on a bike. Don’t try to do it all at once.”

Druce also worries that indoor cycling is becoming too complex. She has seen other fitness crazes burn out participants. “I saw the death of step aerobics,” she said. “It got too fast and too complicated. I’m worried that cycling is doing the same thing.”

But Richmond Tyrrell, who owns MCycle along with his wife Megan, thinks the choreography helps attract and retain new riders. “The whole concept is to try and

percent of our riders have never taken a group exercise class before."

make it fun, make it unique and fresh” says Tyrrell. “Let’s take your mind off the exercise, versus grinding through a painful workout.”

The Tyrrells—whose gym is on 400 South just off of Pioneer Park—credit the success of MCycle to the challenge of opening in 2019 just a few months before the pandemic.

“We survived by the skin of our teeth,” says Richmond Tyrrell. “It made us tougher.”

The couple rented bikes for people to use at home and taught classes online. It was nothing like they had envisioned, but they learned how to build a tight community. By the time they could welcome riders safely back into their studio, they knew exactly what they wanted to do.

Tyrrell, a former college football player, was at first skeptical about the fitness benefits of cycling classes. But he soon became an evangelist—and an instructor.

“I’ve never had a workout that complete in just 45 minutes,” he said. “It’s challenging every single time.”

MCycle also focuses on the spiritual and motivational sides of exercise. Many of their instructors will offer their riders a personal anecdote or words of wisdom.

“Every one of our coaches are people who are choosing to grow, to put in the personal work,” Tyrrell said. “They’ll share what they’re going through, some breakthroughs they have had. I’ve been in classes before where that can feel canned. Maybe I read that same quote on Instagram a week ago. We press our coaches to come from an authentic place.”

I am a sucker for these nuggets—like many middleaged men, I find myself blubbering these days at everything, from musical theatre to car commercials— and look forward to them each class.

In more than five years of running a cycling studio, the Tyrrells have seen the fruit of their emotional approach. “I’ve seen transformations,” he relates. “And not just physical ones. People quit drinking or they leave a bad job or a bad relationship. This is more than just a basic workout.”

Continued on page 16

"Seventy

—Chvrch co-founder Naomi Pacheco

Naomi Pacheco taught outdoor cycling classes during the COVID pandemic before co-founding the Chvrch Cycle gym on 900 South.

Fat But Fit

After two months of taking indoor cycling classes two to three times a week, I feel better.

I don’t think that I’ve lost more than a few pounds, but my frequently aching right knee and lower back are much looser, and I have more energy each day.

The classes are fun. I’ve grown to prefer the predawn workouts, the satisfaction of pushing myself so hard before breakfast.

The workouts are difficult. Even though I skip much of the choreography—I am as coordinated as a giraffe on roller skates; I can’t really dance on the floor with my feet, let alone on a bike while pedaling—I leave each class soaked with sweat, limber and energized.

I feel fit, even though I am still fat.

I am obese, according to the National Institutes of Health. My Body Mass Index is 31.2. To just be overweight—yay!—I would need to lose 10 or 12 pounds. For my BMI to be “normal weight,” I would need to lose nearly 50.

Last month, I talked to one of the nation’s leading experts on obesity, exercise and health. Dr. Samuel Klein is the director of the Center for Human Nutrition at Washington University in St. Louis.

The scientific literature includes a concept called “fat but fit.” Here’s what the research says: Regular aerobic exercise is the most important step a person can take to ward off cardiovascular diseases, like heart attacks and stroke.

In fact, it’s better to be an overweight person who exercises than a thin person who does not. “People who are lean and unable to do much cardiovascular exercise are at pretty high risk,” Klein said. Such findings have led to at least a modest reconsidering of BMI, a metric that may have played an outsized role in evaluating human health. According to BMI, exceptionally fit athletes like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson are considered obese.

“I'm a purist. Do yoga on a yoga mat. Do your core workout on the floor. Ride on a bike. Don't try to do it all at once."

—Denise Druce, local fitness instructor and athlete

“As with everything in modern medicine, BMI needs to be put in the context of common sense,” Klein pointed out. “It’s just one factor to consider during a clinical exam.”

A good doctor will not only focus on how much you weigh but also on your family history and your habits, among other indicators.

But with all of that said, Klein emphasized, losing weight greatly improves health.

Obesity, he pointed out, is correlated with everything from diabetes to fatty liver diseases to high blood lipids to arthritis.

“If you lose weight, all those abnormalities are reversible,” Klein said. “Weight loss is the foundation for preventing and treating obesity-related diseases.”

That’s not great news for me—I find losing weight has gotten harder as I age.

About 15 years ago, I lost more than 30 pounds over the course of a year or two by adopting a strict, lowcarb diet. I slowly put the weight back on, and subsequent efforts to avoid beer, bread, potatoes, rice and pasta have not succeeded like they once did.

This is an accepted reality in the medical literature, known as “metabolic adaptation.” Sadly, your body adapts to “defeat” your efforts to shrink it.

I hate my stupid, clever body.

As challenging as losing weight is, Klein said, the good news is that everyone can benefit from exercise. Everyone can take a walk, or ride a bike, or lift weights from their wheelchair, or maybe even afford inspiring, high-energy classes at their local cycling gym. And that exercise has enormous benefits.

“Many of our metabolic diseases are really exercise deficiency diseases,” Klein noted. “It’s an underlooked therapeutic need. What you’re doing by exercising, even if your weight doesn’t change, is markedly improving your health.”

So, I’m fat. For now. But I can also be fit.

I will keep pedaling, keep lifting my weights, keep sweating, and keep hoping. CW

GIVE IT A SPIN

The following local cycling facilities are listed in order of my preference. However, I recommend any of these, or others not mentioned in this article; it just depends on what you’re looking for!—Matt Pacenza

Chvrch Cycle, 126 W 900 S, chvrchcycle.com

▶Introductory Offer: Two weeks of unlimited classes for $80.

▶Pros: Open, airy studio with natural light; headphones that make it easier to hear a varied mix of music; a more diverse group of instructors and riders.

▶Cons: No showers available

MCycle, 355 W 400 S, mcyclestudios.com

▶Introductory Offer: One week of unlimited classes for $30.

▶Pros: Large, airy studio with space between bikes; Music is diverse and not as loud as some studios. Spacious private showers.

▶Cons: Some classes are lower energy with relatively few riders

Torrent Cycle, three locations (Sugar House, Downtown and South Jordan), torrentcycle.com

▶Introductory Offer: Two weeks of unlimited classes for $59.

▶Pros: Largest schedule of classes. Sweet touches, like candles and themed classes. Spacious private showers.

▶Cons: Loud EDM music (earplugs available, thank God). Bikes are tightly grouped in a smaller studio.

Rideologie, 1155 Wilmington Avenue unit 200, rideologie.com

▶Introductory Offer: One week of unlimited classes for $20.

▶Pros: Quieter, more varied music. Spacious private showers.

▶Cons: Bikes are tightly grouped in a smaller studio.

Lastly

If you prefer to work out from home, please check out the Patreon channel of Utah fitness veteran Denise Druce, who offers at-home classes in cycling, yoga, fitness, and meditation for as little as $10 a month. You can find her at patreon.com/denisedruce

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

Continued from page 15

Denise Druce

Denise Druce

DINE

I Dip, You Dip, We Dip

Park City’s popular sandwich shop Big Dipper expands to downtown Salt Lake.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Restaurants that specialize in sandwiches set a high bar for themselves. Not only do they have to compete with all those other sandwich shops in town, but they also have to prove why they’re preferable to your local deli. I’ve seen plenty of sandwich shops fold under these circumstances, but there are some sandwich joints that understand the cultural significance of the sandwich. It’s these places that become the stuff of sandwich legend. While only time will truly tell, I think Big Dipper just might have what it takes to be truly great.

For starters, Big Dipper has done well enough on Park City’s Main Street to open a second location in downtown Salt Lake. This new spot took over the space that previously belonged to Taco Taco just south of Library Square, which is not a bad setup for a sandwich shop. I’m sure once our indecisive weather finally decides to pack its snow clouds away for the season, Big Dipper’s patio will be absolutely hoppin’.

Not only has Big Dipper selected a good spot for its Salt Lake debut, but its whole concept is disarmingly adorable. Inspired by a shared love of French dip sandwiches, Matthew Safranek, Cortney Johanson and Fabio Ferreira filled Big Dipper’s

menu with dippable sandwiches. Yes, each sandwich on the menu comes with a little bowl of soup made specifically to complement its respective sandwich. For example, the Saigon in Sixty Seconds ($15)—Big Dipper’s version of a banh mi comes with some pho broth.

Though this concept may seem a little gimmicky to those who do not kneel at that altar of sandwichcraft, those who know can see its brilliance. Sandwich places typically have sandwiches, soup and salad, right? Well, what happens when you blend the soup menu with the sandwich menu? You get dippable sandwiches and a surprisingly well-rounded menu, that’s what.

Each sandwich on Big Dipper’s menu takes its inspiration from sandwiches all around the world. I made a beeline directly for the Hermosa Habana ($15), because it’s a Cubano, and I have a weakness for this pork-on-pork panini. Big Dipper’s version hits all the right bases—the roast pork is tender and juicy, they throw the ham on the griddle so it’s got a little bit of char to it, the Swiss cheese has a melty pull and the pickle is thin and delicious. It’s safe to say that I like this Cubano a great deal, and upon closer introspection, this is probably where I’ll go next time I get a craving.

The Hermosa Habana’s dip of choice is a black bean soup, which makes sense, as Cuban black beans are a classic. I think I liked the idea of this pairing more than the actual pairing, however. I was hoping that it would lean a bit more into the savory richness of stewed black beans, but it was a bit more acidic than I expected. In most cases, a nice acidic ripple to a soup is more than welcome, but I don’t think it was a perfect pair with a Cubano. One of the main reasons I like a Cubano is because I respect the delicate balance between the pickle/mus-

tard combo and the roast pork and ham. The soup’s acid kind of throws this balance into disharmony, and the flavors no longer have that sharp contrast that I prefer.

I’m also a sucker for Korean flavors, so I tried the Seoul-ed Out ($15) as well. It’s got a bibimbap thing going on with its roast beef, kimchi, yakisoba noodles and a fried egg—no complaints about any of that. This sandwich is paired with some ramen broth, so that, along with the yakisoba noodles, the combo is taken into Japanese territory. It’s a really nice fusion of all those flavors, and the ramen broth adds some buttery richness to the whole affair. This soup/sandwich marriage is much more complementary here.

For something more indulgent, the Hunk-a Hunk-a Bernese Love ($16) is the way to go. This German-inspired sando has roast pork, bacon, sauerkraut, melty raclette cheese and comes with a mustard lager jus. If you added a nice frankfurter, this would be Oktoberfest on a bun. On the plant-based side of the spectrum, the Forecast: Sunny and Shwarm ($14) has vegan chik’n and a vegan black bean soup. Looking back on my overall experience, I’m glad we’ve got two Big Dippers serving up their signature sandwiches. It’s a terribly clever idea, and it’s thus far pretty well-executed. I also love a collection of internationally-inspired sandwiches, because nothing quite brings people together like a good sandwich. Based on my first few experiences—and the huge crowds come lunchtime—it’s a safe bet that Big Dipper will have a bright future with both its Park City and downtown SLC locations. CW

2 Row Brewing

73 West 7200 South, Midvale

2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: Piney Peaks “West Coast IPA”

Avenues Proper 376 8th Ave, SLC

avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC

BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Belgian Pale Ale, Cosmic Pop IPA, Lord of the Ryes Stout

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale

BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: ‘I.P.L.’ India Pale Lager, Munich ‘Dunkel’, Cali ‘Steam’ Lager, ‘BrewSki’ German Pils

Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele

BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84115

chappell.beer

On Tap: Playground #13 - Hazy Pale with Lemondrop and Sultana

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  High Pressure Haze, Hazy Pale Ale

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: 2024 Big Bad Baptist Imperial Stouts

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: Wassail Cider, Pineapple Passion Fruit Session Mead

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Sugar House Pilsner

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

Now with a full bar license & draft beer cocktails!

On Tap: Fonio - 100% gluten free beer; Schwarzbier

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, S. Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Kolsch

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna Lager

Moab Brewing

686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Strawberry Sereni-Tea Hard Cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company

358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewing 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: ALES for ALS - 5.0% hazy pale

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Steamy Wonder Rye Steam Ale

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Blizzard Wizard Hazy Pale Ale

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Brewers Select: Above the Clouds Hazy IPA

Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com On Tap: Cyclops Irish Stout

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Heavy Metal Parking LotBlack American Lager 6.66% ABV

Salt Flats Brewing

2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Winter Amber with notes of Vanilla and Brown Sugar

Scion Cider Bar

916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Scion Superfood 6.2% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek https://secondsummitcider.com On Tap: Imperial 8.2%

Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer

On Tap: Fresh Hop IPA (with homegrown local hops)

Shades On State

366 S. State Street SLC

Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Six Wheat Under Hefeweizen; Black Cloud Lager

Silver Reef

4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George SGBev.com

Squatters Corner Pub – Valley Fair 3555 Constitution Blvd, West Valley City squatterscornerpub.com

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co. Dog Lake Pale Ale

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co.

147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co.

Velvet Brimley Oatmeal Stout

Squatters and Wasatch

Brewery 1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: 20 beers with 12 rotating small batch releases: Black Tea English Porter, Hazelnut Brown Ale, and more! Small Batch Series Release: Back Abbey Double Belgian Ale

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com On Tap: “Ostara” German Amber Lager with orange and lemon peel; “Virgil the Guide” Italian Pilsner Strap

On Tap: Candy

BEER NERD

2025 Pink Boots Beers are Here

Education is the theme for these first-in-class ales

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

The Pink Boots Society aims to assist, inspire and encourage women and non-binary individuals in the fermented/alcoholic beverage industry to advance their careers through education. More importantly, Pink Boots teaches industry-knowledge seminar programs, and advances both front-of-the-house and back-of-the-house careers by raising money for educational scholarships. Every year, members get together to create a new blend of hops to support the cause. For this, the 8th Annual Blend consists of Krush, Simcoe, Mosaic and Chinook. Here are the first locally-made Pink Boots beers for 2025.

Uinta - Good Luck Babe (Pink Boots 2025): It pours a clear golden color, almost like cider with foam; a strong pour and a swirl gives life to a thick, fluffy, bleached head that leaves circular lacing scars along my glass. The Pink Boots hops have a very distinct aroma, and this brew obviously is loaded with that enticing smell, including citrus, pineapple and guava, along with some leaves and wet earth. You get a juicy, bright nose thanks to the hops and great brewers. The flavor has more bitter bite than I was anticipating—and I love that. It really packs a punch for a 5.0 percent ABV beer. The hops are earthy, yet still maintain much of their tropical fruit essence here, so the result is very zesty and tangy. I get noticeable white bread and some hay, pineapples and peach. And there’s that sneaky bitterness. It’s well-carbonated, finishes dry and proves pretty pleasing overall.

Verdict: I love Uinta, I love Pink Boots, and I love session hop bombs. This little beauty is further proof that these Pink

Boots collaborations are one of the best parts of being a beer nerd.

RoHa - Dragon Fruit IPA (Pink Boots 2025): From draft poured into a standard RoHa shaker, this Pink Boots beer has a close-to-peach hue and a clear body. The head is white and creamy with a thick consistency, about two inches in height; you get great retention and thick sheets of lace forming random patterns as the beer disappears. The overall aroma is similar to your classic pale ales, with just a light hint of fresh dragonfruit. The hops are a balance of pine, citrus and floral tones, which complement the fruit profile. A touch of bread, sweet cereal grains and a generally light malt profile appear as well.

The taste follows up on the aroma, but the hops feel considerably stronger than the dragonfruit here, more so than in the smell. Again, it is reminiscent of classic hoppy brews, with the hops shining above an appropriate malt base. Pine, citrus fruits, grapefruit, orange, floral and herbal hops are joined by a slight touch of general stone-fruit flavor, balanced by yeast bread, pale cracked barley, cereal grains and a hint of sweetness. Light-to-medium-bodied at 5.0 percent, you get a texture that is both frothy and crispy. It’s smooth and puffy with a moderate level of carbonation, and ends with a clean, firm hop bitterness.

Verdict: A classic pale ale-style brew with a good dose of dragonfruit. The aroma is fruitier than the flavor, which kind of just takes on a hint of general cactus. I’m glad The RoHa Brewing Project keeps releasing so many different pales and IPAs.

These may be the first two Pink Boots beers to come out (as of this writing), but there will be many more to come from local breweries. Both of these beers currently are only available on draft at their respective pubs, though both breweries offer growler/crowler pours to go. I encourage all beer nerds to try as many of these Pink Boots beers as you can, to get to know how a different base beer and brewing technique can affect the taste, and to support a good cause.

As always, cheers! CW

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Eurasian Restaurant Secures EDLF Loan

A restaurant called Plov & Borsch recently secured an economic development loan from Salt Lake City. Named for two classic Slavic dishes, Plov & Borsch is poised to deliver a menu that pulls from Central Asian, Eastern Europe and Russian cuisine. Its development is thanks to Zhazira Begaly and Kakisheva Gulnara, two natives of Kazakhstan who have worked with the Salt Lake City Department of Economic Development to secure a $100,000 EDLF loan. In addition to being a full-service restaurant, Plov & Borsch will include a market space that sells imported goods and foods from Eastern Europe. Currently, the plan is to open Plov & Borsch at 55 N. Redwood Road in the late summer.

Ramblin Roads Opens Two Locations Downtown

At a time when old-school diners seem to be disappearing from the downtown SLC restaurant scene, Ramblin Roads just expanded into two new downtown spaces. Ramblin Roads is a local, family-owned restaurant that prides itself on a breakfast, lunch and dinner menu packed with all the hits: omelets, pancakes, burgers, pork chops and steaks along with a fully stocked beer and wine list. It’s also got a few interesting items, like a Monte Cristo sandwich and some old fashioned liver & onions. Ramblin Roads has a location occupying the space that previously belonged to Lamb’s Grill (169 S. Main Street), and the second Salt Lake location is at 206 S. West Temple.

Junah Opens in Central Ninth

The Central Ninth neighborhood recently welcomed a restaurant called Junah (junahslc.com) at 916 S. Jefferson Street. Given the neighborhood’s already eclectic dining and drinking options, Junah sounds like it will be right at home here. Its concept is based on the immense popularity that Italian food has gained in Japan over the past few decades; essentially, it’s an Italian restaurant through the lens of Japanese culinary technique and execution. Per the restaurant’s website, Junah is “designed for adventurous diners,” which sounds like the kind of place I need to check out on the double. I can’t even begin to imagine what wonders can come from a fusion between Japanese and Italian food.

Quote of the Week: “Eating well gives spectacular joy to life.” – Elsa Schiaparelli

Few experiences equal the adventurous thrill and awesome beauty of an excursion into the great outdoors. It helps to prepare as best as one can for what awaits, though, so consider turning to these fine outfitters for your particular needs. Whether it’s equipment or guidance you’re after, they’ll have you set and ready for the memorable journey before you.

O-Tunes

An introduction to some of Ogden’s great current music acts.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

Hopefully when you think of your hometown, good memories surface. Our hometowns have a way of shaping us and inspiring us in ways other things can’t. That’s why I’m shamelessly plugging bands from my own hometown: Ogden. Good old O-Town is full of rich and crazy history, and has some great bands currently making music. Give them a listen if you haven’t before; you might like what you hear!

Dearth of Earth: Formerly known as Dearth, the energetic rock band Dearth of Earth draws influence from a wide spectrum of genres; they have themselves tagged as alternative, djent, math rock, post-rock, progressive rock and zen funk, among others. Their instrumental tracks weave a beautiful web of sound that at times is intricate and exciting, and others calm and relaxing. This is a group of people who clearly have a love for music, and put a lot of time and energy into it. Their 2021 album Time and a Place is an awesome backdrop for pretty much any occasion.

floatingaround: In one of my all-time favorite openings of a song, floatingaround’s song “Cat Song” starts off with, “God gave me two hands so I can pet two cats at the same time.” Along with a cat meowing in the background, their opener is [chef’s kiss]. This track kicks off floatingaround’s debut EP Chasing Bunnies, a sincere and earnest collection of indie-rock songs that are endlessly charming. Their lyrics are relatable,

making it feel like you’re jamming with friends. Chasing Bunnies is a comforting bundle of songs, and feels like wrapping up in a blanket fresh out of the dryer.

Sammy Brue: If you’re familiar with the O-Town music scene, there’s a good chance you’ve heard of Sammy Brue. He debuted at just 15 years old with his album I Am Nice in 2017. Catching the ears of listeners across the country, Brue has continued to awe with his country/folk/Americana sound that feels like it’s from a different time, and a much older person. Brue’s sound and songwriting are heartfelt and lovely, perfectly encapsulating the influence of greats like Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash and Woody Guthrie—but in the end, Brue’s sound is all his own.

Earthworm: Ogden has a really cool pocket of rap/ hip-hop artists, including Earthworm. Earthworm’s alt/lo-fi/glitch hip-hop is rhythmically complex, but a ton of fun to listen

to. The lo-fi beats are especially comforting to me because of all the time I’ve spent listening to those 24-hour lo-fi videos that stream on YouTube (especially the Star Wars one by Closed on Sunday). Over the top of these cozy beats are Earthworm’s clean bars, coming at you with clever and intricate lyrics. His collaboration album with Nate Kiz, Old Swords, is a lively and entertaining journey that makes it impossible to be sad while you’re listening.

Citrus!: Citrus!—or “two goobers who love punctuation,” according to their Instagram page—is an indie/rock duo whose music is pure delight. Their sound is very jovial, almost like you can hear their smiles as they perform their tracks. This vision of them is perpetuated by their social media presence, always flashing smiles while playing or for fun photos. Even their track “Not About You” sounds cheerful as they

MUSIC

sing about someone who is self-centered and thinks the world revolves around them. As a bonus, they do have a music video for the song featuring their happy-go-lucky attitude, but you can hear it long before you see it. It’s also fun to see Ogden landmarks, as Historic 25th Street makes an incredible backdrop for a music video. Check out Citrus! if you need some upbeat and playful indie rock in your life.

Hi Fi Murder: In a nod to a more gruesome part of Ogden history, Hi Fi Murder’s name references the brutal torturing of five people and the deaths of three in a robbery at the Hi Fi Shop in 1974. Fun stuff! Grim as it may be, it is a fitting name for a punk band. The group has been rocking since 2001, and their old-

school punk sound is everything you want from the genre—fast and loud, with plenty of fuck-you attitude. Their 2024 EP Forever Forward is full of life and is performed with passion. Songs like “Far Behind” will have you chanting along with the band in no time. While punk is all about being loud and in your face, it’s also an empowering genre that often accompanies a tight-knit community. Hi Fi Murder’s socials are full of the band and their fans jamming out and having a good time.

While these bands call Ogden home, they also travel all over the Wasatch Front playing shows. If any on this list have piqued your interest, add them to your digital libraries and catch them on the road. This is by no means an exhaustive list of great artists in Ogden—far from it—but it’s a great place to start. CW

Sammy Brue

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

GREAT FOOD

MUSIC PICK S

Matt Nathanson, KT Tunstall @ The Commonwealth Room 3/28

For some, the pairing of two artists like Matt Nathanson and KT Tunstall could be problematic—but in a good way, of course. First and foremost, there’s the billing. Both are established artists in their own right, with impressive résumés. For his part, Nathanson is an exceptional singer/songwriter whose work transcends the boundaries between rock, folk and roots. Yet given the melodic appeal so evident within his music, typecasting becomes a moot point, as evidenced by the fact that his songs frequently translate to use on TV. So too, Tunstall has earned considerable praise for her eight albums, and gained a well-deserved reputation as a chart-topping artist who often collaborates with other artists while also exploring a certain edge entirely on her own. Like Nathanson, her work has graced the small screen, but has also made it to movie screens as well. The comparisons don’t end there. Nathanson’s career spans 30 years, frequent critical kudos and charttopping recordings; Tunstall was nominated for a Grammy and gained immediate fame courtesy of her 2004 multi-platinum debut, Eye to the Telescope and the hit singles it spawned. Given those considerable credits, it’s a relief not to be assigned the unenviable task of choosing the headliner. On the other hand, it really doesn’t matter. This doublebill offers an exceptional evening of entertainment regardless. Matt Nathanson and KT Tunstall’s King of (un)simple Tour comes to The Commonwealth Room Friday, March 28 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets cost $48.71 - $60 (plus taxes and fees) at axs.com. (Lee Zimmerman)

WEEKLY LINEUP

THURSDAY, MARCH 27

FRIDAY, MARCH 28

SATURDAY, MARCH 29

MUSIC PICK S

Kliptic, Kenetic Kannibalz B2B Lazrus, 24KPersian, Wublok, Yada at The Sandbox 3/28.

The Sandbox is a brand new venue exclusively for electronic dance music adjacent to The Gem, a dance night club on Pierpoint Avenue. They’ve only had a handful of events since February, so it’s a great place to go if you are looking for somewhere new. This weekend VS VBOVE SO BELOW is hosting a bass-heavy lineup with a headline debut for Kliptic (Jake Keith). The dubstep producer is a rising star with fun branding that incorporates themes of royalty, knights, dragons, and Game of Thrones -inspired elements. Keith’s most popular songs, “Storm the Castle” and “Reborn” are examples of his distinct sound for fantasy lovers. Other DJs on the lineup include Kenetic Kannibalz, who played at Basscase in January. He will be playing back-to-back with Lazrus. They released “Beetlejuice” together in September, so be sure to check it out on all streaming platforms! Also playing is 24KPersian (Ham Motamedi) who recently released a new song, “Apart” on the Emengy record label. And finally, a local favorite, YADA (Matthew Yadegari) who is a jack of all trades. He not only is a DJ and producer, but also runs lights for The Sandbox as well as many venues in the city. Tickets for this show cost only $20. Doors open at 8 p.m. for this 21+ show at The Sandbox (122 Pierpont Ave.) Go to eventliveus.com for tickets and more event information. (Arica Roberts)

MUSIC PICK S

Aceyalone @ The Pearl on Main 3/29

Aceyalone has always been light years ahead of his time. Standing as one of the pioneering figures who helped shape the West Coast hip-hop underground during the early ’90s, through his work with Freestyle Fellowship, Haiku D’Etat, The A-Team and the Los Angeles based collective Project Blowed, Acey has carved out a path that would influence countless artists to come.

“Hell yeah, I’m proud; I’m proud of every moment, of every bit of rhyme,” Aceyalone told hiphopdx.com. “Cause when you connect with different people across the world, and maybe it’s one out of every thousand people that hear your music, but then you get something across and you brought something to the world? You can’t not look at that and just be like, ‘Damn. That’s cool.’” If one needs a primer on where to start, check out the original compilation album Project Blowed, Freestyle Fellowships’ To Whom It May Concern... & Innercity Griots, his debut solo LP, All Balls Don’t Bounce and his sophomore effort A Book of Human Language. Be sure to bring your rhymes and step up to showcase what you’ve got in the BLOWED Style open-mic segment. Spots are limited so get in quick—first come, first served. Also performing are uMaNg, Turntable Lucifer, Pura Vida Ent, Hemis, Gloomwalkers and Numbs. Catch these artists at the Acid Lab Records “Blowed on the Road” event at The Pearl on Main on Saturday, Mar 29. Doors at 5 p.m. Info on the all-ages show can be found at thepearlonmain.com. (Mark Dago)

The Linda Lindas @ Kilby Court 3/29

Los Angeles-based punk rockers The Linda Lindas are an all-female group known for their youthful energy and unapologetic spirit. Formed in 2018, the group originally consisted of four members: sisters Mila and Lucia de la Garza (drums and guitar respectively), guitarist Eloise Wong and bassist Bela Salazar. The Linda Lindas’ music combines raw, fast-paced punk with clever lyrics; the group’s self-penned songs draw on personal experiences, often exploring activism, identity, and the members’ lives. The group was “discovered” by Amy Poehler, for whom the band would record the soundtrack for the

2021 film Moxie. That same year, The Linda Lindas’ video for “Racist, Sexist Boy”— a track recorded at the Los Angeles Public Library and featured on their debut album Growing Up—went viral. The tune is a succinct and spirited critique of—you guessed it—racism and sexism, and at present the video has over 1.9 million views. That video raised The Linda Lindas’ profile, and with it, brought widespread acclaim. As articulate and positive role models for a generation of young women and persons of color, The Linda Lindas are exerting influence even beyond their compelling music. At press time, the Saturday, March 29 show at 7 p.m. at Kilby Court was sold out. (Bill Kopp)

Corook @ Soundwell 3/30

If you spend any time on TikTok, there’s a chance you’ve heard corook and their music. They’ve been releasing music since about 2021, finding success on the app sharing their heartfelt, sometimes joyful, sometimes melancholy songs. Songs like “it’s ok!” and “i’m not doing well” highlight the singer/ songwriter’s talent for saying out loud how a lot of us feel on the inside, even when those feelings aren’t the happiest. Corook also went massively viral in 2023 for their song “if i were a fish” (ft. Olivia Barton), a lighthearted track about finding acceptance in loved ones. Relatable to many, the song quickly became corook’s most streamed song, coming in at nearly 22 million on Spotify alone. They’ve also been making waves in recent months with their song “THEY!”, an unapologetically queer anthem focusing on acceptance and being true to yourself. This single is on their newest album, committed to a bit. “‘THEY!’ is my favorite track from the committed to a bit album,” said corook. “I wrote it to capture the mix of nerves and joy that comes with sharing your new pronouns with the world. In a time when our identities are under constant attack, especially with figures like Trump attempting to legislate us out of existence, this song feels more vital than ever.” Come hang out with corook on Sunday, March 30 at 8 p.m. at Soundwell. Tickets for the all-ages show are $20 for GA and $90 for the VIP package. Grab tickets and further info at

(Emilee Atkinson)

JAMIE WAYNE

Corook

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Ancient Rome’s emperor Julius Caesar undertook a radical move to fix the calendar, which had become increasingly inaccurate as centuries passed. He added three months to 46 BCE, which as a result was 445 days long. I’m thinking that 2025 might seem equally long for you, Aries. Your destiny may feel like it’s taking forever to unfold. April fool! I totally lied. In fact, I think 2025 will be one of your briskest, crispest years ever. Your adventures will be spiced with alacrity. Your efforts will be efficient and expeditious. You may sometimes be amazed at how swiftly progress unfolds.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Guilt and fear are always useless distractions from what’s really happening. Right? April fool! The fact is that on rare occasions, being anxious can motivate you to escape from situations that your logical mind says are tolerable. And guilt may compel you to take the right action when nothing else will. This is one time when your guilt and fear can be valuable assets.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The German word Flüsterwitze means “whisper jokes.” These jests make taboo references and need to be delivered with utmost discretion. They may include the mockery of authority figures. Dear Gemini, I recommend that you suppress your wicked satire and uproarious sarcasm for a while and stick to whisper jokes. April fool! I lied. The truth is that the world needs your outspokenness. Your ability to call out hypocrisies and expose corruption—especially with humor and wit—will keep everyone as honest as they need to be.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

In the lead-up to the Paris-hosted 2024 Summer Olympics, the iconic Eiffel Tower was repainted gold. This was a departure from tradition, as the usual colors had been brown on the bottom and red on the top. The $60-million job took 25 painters 18 months. I recommend that you undertake an equally monumental task in the coming months, Cancerian. April fool! I lied. In fact, I do hope you undertake a monumental task—but one that’s more substantive than changing the surfaces of things. Like revisioning your life story, for example—reinterpreting your past and changing the way it informs your future. I think you are ready to purge inessential elements and exorcize old ghosts as you prepare for a re-launch around your birthday.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

When I worked on the Duke University grounds crew years ago, I did the work I was assigned as quickly as possible. Then I would hide in the bushes, taking unauthorized breaks for an hour or two, so I could read books I loved. Was that unethical? Maybe. But the fact is, I would never have been able to complete my assigned tasks unless I allowed myself relaxation retreats. If there is an equivalent situation in your life, Leo, I urge you to do as I did. April fool! I half-lied. The truth is that I think you should be a little less extravagant than I was—but only a little—as you create the spaciousness and slack you need.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

In his film Fitzcarraldo, Virgo director Werner Herzog tells an epic story. It includes the task of hauling a 320-ton steamship up a hill and over land, moving it from one river to another. Herzog could have relied on special effects to simulate this almost impossible project, but he didn’t. With a system of pulleys and a potent labor force, he made it happen. I urge you to try your equivalent of Herzog’s heroic conquest, Virgo. You will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine. April fool! I half-lied. While it’s true that you will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine, I still think you should at least partially rely on the equivalent of special effects.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Researchers discovered that Egyptian fruit bats engage in extensive communication with each other while nesting in

their roosts. Surprisingly, they talk about their problems a lot In fact, they quarrel 60% of the time. Areas of disagreement include food allocation, positions within the sleep cluster and males initiating unwanted mating moves. Let’s make these bats your power creatures. The astrological omens say it’s time for you to argue more than you have ever argued. April fool! I was not entirely truthful. The coming weeks will be a good time to address disagreements and settle disputes, but hopefully through graceful means, not bitter arguing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Unlike many modern poets, Scorpio-born Alice Notley rejects the notion that she must be part of any poetic lineage. She aspires “to establish or continue no tradition except one that literally can’t exist—the celebration of the singular thought sung at a particular instant in a unique voice.” She has also written, “It’s necessary to maintain a state of disobedience against everything.” She describes her work as “an immense act of rebellion against dominant social forces.” I invite you to enjoy your own version of a Notley-like phase, Scorpio. April fool! I lied. In fact, I encourage you to enjoy a Notley-like phase beginning May 1. But for now, I invite you to be extra attentive in cultivating all the ways you can benefit from honoring your similarities and connections with others.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) is a standardized test that many American high school students take to prove their worth to colleges. The highest possible score is achieved by fewer than one percent of test-takers. We might imagine that earning such a premium grade must guarantee admission to any school, but it doesn’t. During one five-year period, for example, Stanford University rejected 69% of applicants with the highest possible score. I’m sorry to predict that a comparable experience might be ahead for you, Sagittarius. Even if you are your best and brightest self, you may be denied your rightful reward. April fool! I totally lied. Here’s my real, true prediction: In the coming weeks, I believe you will be your best and brightest self—and will win your rightful reward.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

The visible part of an iceberg is typically just 10% of its total size. Most is hidden beneath the sea’s surface. References to “the tip of the iceberg” have become a staple metaphor in many cultures, signifying situations that are not what they seem. Of all the zodiac tribes, Scorpios are renowned for their expertise in discerning concealed agendas and missing information. The rest of us tend to be far less skillful. April fool! I fibbed. These days, you Capricorns are even more talented than Scorpios at looking beyond the obvious and becoming aware of the concealed roots and full context.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In the coming weeks, I advise you to be like the 19th-century poet Emily Dickinson. She lived in quiet seclusion, corresponding through letters instead of socializing. She seemed content to write her poems all alone in her home and be unconcerned about trying to get them published. April fool! I lied. Here’s my real horoscope: Now is a highly favorable time for you to shmooze with intensity at a wide range of social occasions, both to get all the educational prods you need and to advance your ambitions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Some systems and situations improve and thrive in response to stress and errors. Indeed, some things need strain or irregularity to be fully healthy. For example, human bodies require a certain amount of stress to develop a resistance to infection. In reading the astrological omens, I conclude you now need stimulation like that. April fool! I lied. Here’s the truth: August of 2025 will be a great time for you to harvest the benefits of benevolent stress. But for now, your forte will be the capacity to avoid and resist stress, confusion, and errors.

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

urban LIVING

Childcare Desert

Ichose to live in Utah, even though I’m not a Mormon. I had never even heard of Mormons when I was sent to school at Wasatch Academy in Mt. Pleasant to “reform.” But afterward, I stayed in the state to attend college at the U and then Westminster.

I love our vistas, our small businesses, our history and my Mormon neighbors. I’ve lived here so long now that when I go out of state and a server asks me if I want a cocktail, I reply “shrimp” or “fruit” because—for so long—ordering booze from my table was a legal no-no around here and I was programmed from Utah law not to do so.

But times changed, as you may recall. Utah’s hosting of the 2002 Olympics particularly caused a shift in ordering liquor at clubs and restaurants.

I’ve learned over the years that the Latter-day Saints are amazing at passing a balanced budget at the Legislature, raising families and contributing to the poor here and around the world in an amazing system of volunteerism and donations.

But! (There’s always a “but,” right?) What I don’t get is why a religion so enamored by procreation and raising families doesn’t offer daily child care at their churches. The local Catholic Diocese offers preschool and child care centers, as do St. John’s, Christ Lutheran, First Baptist, St. Paul’s, St. Thomas More and Mt. Olympus Christian. Jewish Preschool of the Arts offers pre-kindergarten and child care in the Salt Lake area, with others offered by churches in Provo, Ogden, Logan, Cedar City, St. George, etc.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. Some are precious

5. Org. that puts on the World Cup

9. Honorary U.K. title

12. “The Fog of War” documentarian Morris

13. Magnum ___

14. Flex

16. Glass set in a wall

18. 1952 Olympic city

19. “Quit it!”

20. Entrees made with skirt steak

22. Aspiring attys.’ exams

25. “Grumpy Old Men” actor Davis

26. Vintner’s valley

29. Cut short

32. Emanation of a sort

33. Apelike

34. Record store purchases

37. ___ chi

38. IRS payment

39. “Have I Got News For You” network

40. “That meme is funny”

41. Bad ___, Germany

42. Expressed a view

44. “Sisters” actress Ward

45. Words associated with Lincoln

47. Rowing team

48. Sprawling estate

50. “Oscar of the Internet” since 1995

52. Approve of

55. Like a Dickensian Dodger

59. Word from Watson

60. Wage increase

63. Knit’s reverse

64. Disney film featuring light cycles

65. Formally gave up

66. Office bldg. division

67. Garden pest

68. Those, in Quito

DOWN

1. Wide smile

2. Cube master Rubik

3. Like some furniture

4. Difficult chores

The Mormon work ethic is to volunteer time and energy to their church and community. Their wards and stake houses often take up massive amounts of land, with real estate and parking lots that sit vacant most of the weekdays. The landscaping could certainly accommodate playgrounds while the building spaces could do the same with nurseries and child care facilities.

Another strong tenet of the faith is that Mormons are to place a strong emphasis on the family unit, raising their own children and encouraging large families. Yet in 2024, a Bankrate study found that 75% of Utah exists in a child care “desert,” where there are not enough daycares to serve our population. In addition, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce estimated that child care issues create around a $1.36 billion economic loss for Utahns every year.

Legislators on both sides of the aisle attempted to address this issue in the most recent legislative session, with a House bill providing an income tax credit for employer-provided child care and another in the Senate addressing child care shortages by converting unused state-owned buildings into child care facilities. Both bills failed to pass.

Child care isn’t cheap, of course, but it is vital for a community because it supports the healthy development of children, enables parents to work or pursue an education of their own, strengthens the workforce and fosters a thriving local economy. n

12. Ram’s mate

15. Prescription info

17. Messaging service with between 2-3 bil -

lion unique accounts worldwide

21. Fabric store that’s closing all locations in 2025

23. Drag performer Mattel

24. Addition result

26. Sticky ___

27. Essayist Gopnik

28. Blowgun projectile

30. ___ Creed (church recitation)

31. Vending machine option

35. Vaulter’s need

36. BBQ side

38. “___ is human”

43. 180 degrees from SSE

5. Dandy

6. Hoppy brew

7. Answer to the joke “Mr. Freud, what’s between fear and sex?”

8. Not docked

9. Reed player

10. Popular read

11. Former Chinese premier Zhou ___

44. Grim Reaper accessories

46. Soba, e.g.

48. Beaker’s noise

49. Beef cattle breed

51. Utah’s ___ Canyon

53. Fast flyers

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

54. “Downton Abbey” title

56. Generic dog name

57. Hawaiian strings

58. Was in front

61. Singer Reed

“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” director Lee

NEWS of the WEIRD

Bad Behavior

A team of nine scientists at the Sanae IV research station in Antarctica have been upset by the recent behavior of one member of their group, the BBC reported on March 18. The team left South Africa on Feb. 1 to spend the Antarctic winter at the research station, but on Feb. 27 one person was accused of a physical assault. Another team member wrote an email describing the “deeply disturbing behavior” and an “environment of fear.” Since then, the South African environment ministry said that it “immediately activated the response plan in order to mediate and restore relations at the base.” The alleged perpetrator has “willingly participated in further psychological evaluation, has shown remorse and is willingly cooperative.” In addition, that person has written a formal apology to the victim, the ministry said.

The Passing Parade

It wasn’t a robe or a phone charger left behind in a room at the Pine Rivers motel in Cheboygan, Michigan, on March 14, the Detroit Free Press reported. Instead, when the cleaning crew arrived at the room, they looked under the bed and found Wally, “a real friendly gator.” The motel manager said he’d had no idea that the alligator was one of the guests in the room. He called the guest, who said he was “taking Wally to elementary schools and showing him to children,” but when he got up that morning, he couldn’t find the reptile and assumed he’d gotten out. “You couldn’t really miss it,” the manager said. “It’s about 3 feet long.” The owner drove back from Detroit and picked up Wally that evening.

Oops

A 50-year-old Detroit man who uses a wheelchair recently tried to kill a cockroach by throwing his shoe at the pest, WKRC-TV reported on March 9. Unfortunately, the loaded revolver that he had hidden inside of his shoe fell onto the floor and then discharged, hitting the man in the foot. He was reported to be in stable condition after going to the hospital; no word yet on the cockroach’s condition.

Culinary Creation

Jordi Roca, 46, chef and owner of the Michelin threestar restaurant El Celler de Can Roca in Girona, Spain, has created a “lit” dessert that’ll set diners back $362, the New York Post reported on March 12. For the pricey confection, Roca extracts the “essence” of old books by spreading their pages with “deodorized butter and (letting) it rest overnight so that it is impregnated with the smell of an old book.” Then he removes the butter with a spatula and dissolves it in alcohol, which evaporates and leaves “the perfume of an old book.” Roca borrowed the process, called enfleurage, from the perfume industry. The resulting “liquor” is dropped onto a pudding and adorned with petals of torn pages of the book. If dessert is a book, eat on!

Karaoke Rage

In the wee hours of March 15 in Clearwater, Florida, Aaron Jablonski, 34, was really hoping to treat patrons of the Overtime Sports Bar to some karaoke, The Smoking Gun reported. So when he found out the machine was out of order, Jablonski left the establishment, “upset about the music.” Outside, a 26-year-old man tried to calm Jablonski down, but he produced a Glock 9mm pistol from his waistband, pointed it at the man and then fired off a round, witnesses said. When police arrived, Jablonski still had the gun—a problem, since he had previously been convicted of battery on a law enforcement officer. He was arrested for aggravated assault and felon in possession of a firearm, with bond set at $40,000.

I Am Not Dead Yet

In Kardzhali, Bulgaria, the Arda Kardzhali soccer team observed a moment of silence for their fallen former teammate, striker Petko Ganchev, 78, on March 16. Unfortunately, the BBC reported, Ganchev was in fact still alive and well. Ganchev said that he returned home around the time the match was beginning, and his wife greeted him crying in the yard: “Petko, Petko, they announced on TV that you have died!” Ganchev said, “When I heard the terrible news, I poured myself a small brandy. ... So many people called me—relatives, friends ... The situation was not pleasant, but in the end we have to be positive.” A statement released by the club read: “The management of PFC Arda would like to express a huge apology to the former Arda player Petko Ganchev and his relatives after the club received wrong information about his death. We wish Petko Ganchev many more years of good health and to enjoy the success of Arda.”

Americans Abroad

A couple of American tourists who were visiting Dublin, Ireland, for St. Patrick’s Day felt the wrath of the Irish after they tried to stiff a carriage driver, The Irish Sun reported on March 19. A video from the scene shows the driver chasing the two men after their horse-andcarriage ride. When he catches the men, he whips them with a stick and demands, “Pay me now.” After several more strikes with his whip, one rider pulls out his wallet and says, “I have money. I understand, I understand.” But even after he’s been paid, the driver whips them a few more times, to which one replies, “I’m sorry. We learned our lesson.”

Perspective

The Associated Press reported on March 19 that Muslims in Jakarta, Indonesia, are taking advantage of a service offered for free by a charity during Ramadan. Amil Zakat National Agency is providing tattoo removal services to give practicing Muslims a chance to repent. Teguh Islean Septura, 30, first got tattoos when he played guitar in a band. But now, he said, “I want to improve myself by moving closer to God. God gave me clean skin and I ruined it, that’s what I regret now.” Roughly 700 people have signed up for the service this year.

Least Competent Criminals

An unidentified man in northeast Philadelphia was nearly killed by electrocution and suffered third-degree burns on March 19 when he tried to steal copper wiring, WPVI-TV reported. When the man broke into a transformer box and cut into the live high-voltage wiring, he knocked out power to about 1,500 homes and businesses nearby, police said. “The victim is in critical condition with burns to his face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms and hands,” the police reported. The day before, another copper thief suffered similar burns and actually caught fire.

Where Did I Put My Sense of Humor?

In Memphis, Tennessee, on March 10, five men were taken into custody after they emerged from their car at a busy intersection and started twerking, WKRC-TV reported. Four of the men danced around the vehicle, while a fifth danced on top of the hood, police said. Each man was charged with obstruction of a highway or passageway. MeKell Sanders, 18, Rashaun Bryant, 22, Mandre’Co Mays, 18, and Desmond Subbery, 18, were all released on their own recognizance. Jordan Smith, 19, had an outstanding warrant for vandalism and was fined $2,100.