City Weekly December 13, 2018 by Copperfield Publishing

CITYWEEKLY.NET DEC. 13, 2018 | VOL. 35 N0. 29

12 Days of

Terrible Christmas

Movies

Roast some chestnuts and fire up the remote control. The holidays are here! By David Riedel

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS MOVIES

Deceased parents! Problematic jokes! Axe-wielding Santas! There’s nothing quite like the holidays. Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 12 NEWS 18 A&E 23 DINE 30 MUSIC 41 CINEMA 44 COMMUNITY

DAVID RIEDEL

Cover story, p. 15 Early into his assignment, Riedel sent the following one-line email: “I’ve watched 7 minutes of this, and it’s so awful I’m not sure I can continue.” Still, he persisted. The grinchy film critic’s best gift ever received? “I was 8 or 9 years old and my parents got me a Tama drum kit with a Ludwig snare. So. Much. Joy.”

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Sen. Jim Dabakis throws hat in mayoral race. facebook.com/slcweekly

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET Opinion, Nov. 29, “Climate Change Alert”

While we were celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday with expressions of gratitude with our loved ones, a governmental report was released which details troubling economic, environmental and public health consequences if meaningful action is not taken to reduce carbon emissions and combat climate change. In this time of political division, it has seemed like wishful thinking to believe that such action would be possible. But hope has come in the form of the Energy Innovation and Carbon Dividend Act recently introduced in the House of Representatives, with Republican and Democratic co-sponsors. This bill lays out a thoughtful, market-driven approach to reducing carbon emission, rather than creating new regulations. It also recognizes the impact changing energy dependence has on middle-class and low-income families, and includes provisions to protect them and vital industries from undue stress. As a longtime member of Citizens’ Climate Lobby, I feel very fortunate to see a revenue-neutral bipartisan solution for an issue which affects all of us. It’s about time that a response to climate change became a bridge issue, rather than a wedge issue.

BRI BUCKLEY, West Valley City

The latest Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change special report has given the world its latest warning about inaction and it is not good. Yet, many of us, including most of our political leaders,

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are content to worry about something else. I think it is because they don’t like the proposed solutions. However, there is now legislation proposed in Congress that should attract their support. H.R 7173, the Energy Innovation and Carbon Dividend Act is a bipartisan bill that will be effective in bringing down carbon emissions by putting a fee on carbon and giving citizens a dividend with the money raised without the government keeping any of it! Co-sponsored by Rep. Ted Deutch (D-Fla.), Rep. Francis Rooney (R-Fla.), Rep. Charlie Crist (D-Fla.), Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick (R-Pa.), Rep. John Delaney (D-Md.), and Rep. Dave Trott (R-Mich.), this bill will correct the failure of the market which allows us to pollute our air for free. This will be good for our health and our economy. I ask that our members of Utah’s Congressional delegation cosponsor and work to pass this much needed action.

SCOTT LECKMAN,

Chairman, Citizens’ Climate Education

Salt Lake City

Restaurant review, Nov. 29, Horn of Africa

I now know what I’m getting my Somali-born son-in-law for Christmas! Thank you.

ANN HOPKINS Via Facebook

Online news post, Dec. 3, Contentious medical cannabis compromise bill passed by state House and Senate lawmakers

Oh, I’m sure a visit from Marty Stephens [chief lobbyist for The

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@CITYWEEKLY Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints] had nothing to do with it.

RYAN MILLS Via Facebook

Why isn’t this a huge surprise? The constant battle between the [LDS] church and those in political power influenced by them. The only way to avoid this is move to another state. Pathetic, Utah. Pathetic!

JASON GREGERSEN Via cityweekly.net

I want to sign a petition or lawsuit against this outrage!

BOUDICA LUTHER Via Facebook

There are a couple of attorneys willing to take this on; there is already a GoFundMe page for them to do so.

GERDA ORROCK Via Facebook

The error is you don’t live in a democracy and have been exposed. Too bad people are probably too complacent to do anything about it. … If the people got to write Prop 2 from the start, it would have looked way different. It was super restrictive to begin with.

elect the same people we’ll get the same results.

BOOMER ROSS Via Facebook

Has a coup ever occurred at the state level? Asking for a friend.

MARQUES SHAW Via Facebook

“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.” —Judy Sheindlin

DEBRA VASQUEZ Via Facebook I call bullshit.

DAVE CALDWELL Via Facebook

TRACIE PEHRSON Via Facebook

Thanks for nothing, Utah legislators.

Online news post, Dec. 7, State power players and activists react to lawmakers’ passing of the Utah Medical Cannabis Act

GERALD LARSEN Via Facebook

Don’t worry. We’re fed up and coming for all your jobs.

KELLY WINWARD Via Facebook

Vote them out. If we continue to

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I like how the state representatives think that this is going to be the best state-ran medical program or how the rest of the country will copy this law. Well,

for one, all the other states are not run by dip-shit Mormons, and second, in most of the other states in the West you can just go to a privately owned store and buy it just to have a good time— no medical issues needed. [That model] is probably what the rest of the country will copy.

MEL P. STONE Via Facebook

[They] should be brought out on the front lawn and paddled like petulant children.

DANIEL TALLEY Via Facebook

Does anybody really think the state of Utah will ever grow and distribute marijuana?

@SHANEWAN70 Via Twitter

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GUEST

OPINION Triumvirate Beginning in the mid-20th century, three men unfailingly met for breakfast every Tuesday in the coffee shop at the old Hotel Utah—now the immaculately preserved Joseph Smith Memorial Building east of Temple Square. The stylish restaurant was welcoming: Well-dressed women in white gloves picked at their chilled fruit cups. The tinkle of silverware and china filled the air. Light classical music and show tunes wafted from those newly installed marvels: stereophonic speakers. Waitresses in starched uniforms moved quietly among the guests. The trio made small talk and joked as they pulled up chairs at their favorite table. Other breakfast patrons took notice, especially of the tall man in his mid-70s. The giveaway was his unmistakable shock of white hair. The triumvirate was composed of LDS church prophet David O. McKay; Gus P. Backman, head of the Salt Lake Chamber of Commerce; and The Salt Lake Tribune publisher John F. Fitzpatrick. After orange juice, eggs, toast and coffee (two of the three enjoyed their Folgers), they accomplished something that seems absolutely remarkable today: They decided the future course of Salt Lake City and Utah. No stenographer discretely took notes, and a bulky tape recorder would easily have occupied a third of the linen-covered tabletop. Thus, we have no transcripts— only the extraordinary results. The breakfasts continued for a quarter century. “The importance of this triad … cannot be overstated,” wrote historian Linda Sillitoe, “though their decisions were informal and largely undocumented.” In their McKay biography, authors Gregory A. Prince and W. Robert Wright quote the late John W. Gallivan, who succeeded Fitzpatrick at The Tribune’s helm and at the breakfast table. “They were wonderful. There was all kinds of speculation about what really went on there—but there was just an exchange of stories and good fellowship.” Then, in a classic understatement, Gallivan added: “This isn’t to say that important things didn’t happen

… and [the breakfasts] did lay the background for the telephone calls that were made to bring about a decision that was good for the business community and the church’s relationship [to it].” As it is now, Salt Lake City was a two-daily-newspaper town in the ’40s … but just barely. Surprisingly, the church-owned evening Deseret News was in serious trouble, hemorrhaging money and losing circulation. The solution was an agency plan where the two papers’ editorial staff would remain independent—but would share presses and advertising and circulation personnel. The trio eventually sat on the board of what became Newspaper Agency Corp. in 1952. After staving off a protracted series of antitrust actions from the U.S. Justice Department, NAC’s future was secured with congressional passage of the Newspaper Preservation Act of 1970, which authorized joint operating agreements between competing newspaper operations. Thus, two editorial voices were preserved. In 1967, officials broke ground for the new Salt Palace Convention Center on nine acres of LDS church-owned property a stone’s throw from Temple Square. McKay, it seems, had offered Salt Lake County a dollar-a-year lease on the prime property. And with The Tribune’s backing, taxpayers passed an $18-million bond. “The church literally gave us those acres,” Gallivan later recalled. “With that blessing, the donation of the land, we won the bond election by a two-thirds majority.” The Salt Palace soon attracted national conventions and became the impetus for a local hotel boom. Before the complex was built, the city had 700 hotel beds; today it has some 20,000, according to STR Inc., which tracks the global hotel industry. Economic and tourist growth increased exponentially during the ensuing decades—culminating with the 2002 Winter Olympics—and is still climbing. When the iconic breakfasts began in the late ’40s, more than a hint of suspicion and insularity dominated Utah’s capital city and the state itself. “This Is the Place,” read the era’s license plates—but the unspoken message was, “But please remember, it’s our place.” Fast-forward to today: As a long-time observer of all

BY LANCE S. GUDMUNDSEN

things Utah, I don’t believe our citizens are nearly as polarized as we might assume. Nor do I believe Americans are as divided as it might outwardly appear. Last month, I ran across an opinion piece by Steve Chapman in the Chicago Tribune. Stating the obvious, he writes that “extreme, vocal ideologues are gaining ground on both the right and the left,” and President Donald Trump is exploiting the trend with every unhinged tweet. A third of likely voters, he adds, “think we are on the verge of a civil war.” Not so fast, warns Chapman. Maybe, just maybe, our assumptions are all unfounded. He cites Stanford University political scientist Morris Fiorina, who says only 60 percent of voters identify with the two major political parties. “Self-described moderates outnumber either liberals or conservatives.” Our skewed perception, Chapman believes, comes from the virulently partisan debates in Washington and, not surprisingly, cable news. But here’s a statistic in the Chapman article that blew me out of the water: On an average night, Sean Hannity attracts 3.4 million viewers. Rachel Maddow, meanwhile, draws 2.8 million. That means a staggering 230 million American adults simply ignore the two most-watched cable news shows. And news viewership of ABC, CBS and NBC is less than 10 percent of the electorate. Americans, it seems, aren’t news junkies at all. So what’s the real “polarization” problem? Here, I’ll paraphrase Shakespeare: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in our leaders.” Trump, Pompeo, Pelosi … McConnell, Schumer, Lee. To me, they’re the real villains in the nasty gridlock that grips D.C. today. And, as we learned Nov. 6, they’re oh-so-replaceable. Which brings me back to the trio of power brokers, quietly chatting over breakfast at the old Hotel Utah so long ago. They weren’t replaceable—and likely never will be. CW

For 35 years, Lance S. Gudmundsen worked for John W. Gallivan and three successor publishers at The Salt Lake Tribune. He now works for John Saltas. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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This is not Halloween, though you are asked to dress up like a bloody sheep. The SLC: Forever 21 Protest is a rally designed to horrify. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), the event’s Facebook page says, is acting on the results of an undercover investigation “which exposed workers mutilating terrified lambs, striking gentle, frightened sheep in the face with sharp metal clippers, and cutting the throats and breaking the necks of terrified animals while others looked on.” You can’t miss the gruesome details at the rally because there are large mobile TV screens playing the footage. Outside Forever 21, City Creek Mall, 51 S. Main, Friday, Dec. 14, 6-8 p.m., free, bit.ly/2E7gXEv.

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WHAT ABOUT THOSE “ALIEN” MIGRANTS?

Here’s a chance to look into your soul— or the souls of your Mormon friends and family members—to see how certain theologies and fables have intertwined to promote racism at Delusion of the Gods: Ancient Aliens & Other Pseudohistory. “What do Ancient Alien theories, the search for the lost continent of Atlantis, and Mormon theology have in common? They all promote the racist idea that people of color are incapable of creating complex civilizations without outside intervention,” the event’s Facebook page says. Fun stories from The Book of Mormon picture ancient Israeli migrants being wiped out in the new land by non-white natives. If you think these stories are harmless, attend the discussion to explore the rise of white nationalism today. Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Conference Room, Level 4, Saturday, Dec. 15, 2-3 p.m., free, bit.ly/2E7bqOa.

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HOMELESSNESS VIGIL

If you think the weather outside is frightful, you should try living on the streets to really experience it. The Homeless Persons’ Candlelight Vigil honors and remembers those who have died on the streets this year. Residents and community leaders gather with a message to prevent any additional loss of life or suffering caused by homelessness through advocacy, education and other initiatives. According to Crossroads Urban Center, a 2017 count found 1,886 people in a shelter or other residential facility for homeless people and 161 people sleeping outdoors. Pioneer Park, 350 S. 300 West, Thursday, Dec. 20, 5:30-6:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2EjXK Au.

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

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Reputation Stained

How much is a stain on your reputation worth? Maybe not a whole lot in Utah, the Wild West where men are men and the victims are, well, victims. Let’s be fair and note that the two Utah sheriffs recently hailed as the best of the best by the Utah Sheriffs’ Association were not convicted of anything. Still, as The Salt Lake Tribune points out, one had been accused of choking a witness and the other of “dry-firing” his gun at a deputy. This is how we like things in Utah, where scofflaws are rewarded with seats in the Legislature. Yes, we mean newly elected Rep. Phil Lyman, the guy who rode his ATV over protected lands and who the Trib calls “a conservative firebrand” rather than an unrepentant ex-con. In Utah, a stain on your reputation can actually be a reason for pride—and a ticket to the top.

Mamma Mia!

Here is what we learned from Rep. Mia Love’s interview on The View: Abby Huntsman was really disappointed when Love lost. Love believes (despite spending $2.2 million more than her opponent) that the Democrats targeted her because she is black, and that’s why Ben McAdams, a “middle-aged, white male,” took her place. Love also believes that just recognizing that pharmaceutical companies overcharge is a path to more affordable health care, and oh, she has no idea where all the money would come from to provide health care for everyone. You can find her take on “the president” if you read Utah Policy, but the best remark came from show co-host Joy Behar when she said unemployment insurance saved her life when she was a single mother. This in response to Love’s belief that welfare hurts women’s chances for promotion.

Thank You, Marco

Well, thank you, Sen. Marco Rubio, who with other lawmakers, introduced a bipartisan resolution condemning the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. On the other hand, Utah Rep. Chris Stewart sees nothing out of the ordinary. “Journalists disappear all over the country. Twenty have been killed in Mexico,” he said on a CNN interview. “You don’t think it happens in Turkey and China? Of course it does.” Well, 52 journalists have been killed in 2018, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists. In the U.S., four killings specifically targeted journalists. One was Wendi Winters, who was fatally shot in Maryland’s Capital Gazette newsroom. A stirring tribute by fellow journalist Joshua McKerrow was shared more than 49,000 times with messages of love and support. “One of the first replies you might see if you click on the link is from an account replying simply: ‘Fake news’,” The Guardian reported. “In that person’s Twitter bio there’s one word: ‘MAGA!’”

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The New Pioneers

Suggestions abound on how legislators can improve retooled medical cannabis law during upcoming session. BY KELAN LYONS klyons@cityweekly.net @kelan_lyons

n the night he signed HB 3001, the so-called medical cannabis “compromise” bill, into law, Gov. Gary Herbert released a statement praising opponents and proponents of the Proposition 2 ballot initiative for coming together and reaching an agreement that lawmakers could endorse. He commended those involved for ironing out crucial problems in the referendum and proclaimed that the Beehive State’s new system would prevent the medicine from entering the black market. “With the passage of the Utah Medical Cannabis Act,” Herbert said, “Utah now has the best-designed medical cannabis program in the country.” Does it? Critics say there’s a lot of uncertainty about how that program will operate, given that the state is taking such an active role in distributing a substance illegal under federal law. Medical professionals, lawmakers and at least one member of the compromise coalition have concerns, questions and a wish list for what they hope to see changed in the upcoming legislative session. As Bonnie Kilgannon, a Davis County-based doctoral-prepared nurse-practitioner, says, “There’s still a lot of work to be done.” Legislators gathered at the Capitol on Dec. 3 for a special session to pass the latest version of the controversial compromise, which includes provisions that limit which medical providers can recommend cannabis-based treatment and require state- and privately employed pharmacists to provide dosing directions to patients. The new law renders moot Prop 2, the ballot initiative voters approved last month. Kilgannon watched from the gallery during the House and Senate debates, anxious to see whether physician assistants and advanced-practice registered nurses like her would be allowed to recommend cannabis as a treatment option. “When the first compromise came out before the election, they had pretty much gutted Proposition 2,” Kilgannon says, days after the special session.

MEDICAL CANNABIS She worked with House Speaker Greg Hughes to add advanced-practice registered nurses and physician assistants to the list of medical professionals who can recommend patients get a cannabis card. The system proposed in an earlier draft severely limited which providers could advise Utahns to try the new form of medicine. “Patient access was going to be severely limited,” she says. By the time Herbert signed the bill into law, Kilgannon had gotten her wish. She’s crossing her fingers that lawmakers will still be open to tinkering with the bill come January, when they’re back in session. “We’re hoping they make further improvements, and we’re hoping they don’t do further damage.” Kilgannon wants to see nurse practitioners be eligible for appointment to the “compassionate use board,” a panel that will evaluate on a case-by-case basis whether to recommend that certain patients, children and young adults receive a cannabis card. She’d also like the qualifying conditions list broadened to include mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. “Benzodiazepine abuse is every bit as much a concern to me as opiate abuse is,” Kilgannon says about the anxiety-reducing sedative, “and medical cannabis has been shown to assist with anxiety disorders and insomnia.” Those who backed both Prop 2 and the compromise say the agreement preserves the core of the ballot initiative. But there are key differences—perhaps the most important of which is where patients can access the medication. Under Prop 2, they would’ve gone to a private pharmacy. Per the new law, the state will play a major distribution role by operating a central fill pharmacy responsible for distributing the drug to a local health department for patient pickup. Cannabis card holders could also go to one of seven—or 10, if the central fill isn’t up and running within a few years—privately owned dispensaries, each of which must employ at least one full-time pharmacist. “They’re going to be kind of the dosing gatekeeper at the dispensary level,” Connor Boyack, Libertas Institute founder and compromise negotiator, says. Pharmacists are another point of contention. Ken Shifrar, an East Millcreek resident, has been a pharmacist since 1979. Although he’s not currently practicing, he worries the new law will put his peers’ licenses at risk. In his telling, pharmacists are licensed at the state level, but they depend on the National Association of Boards of Pharmacy for federal reciprocity so they can practice in other states. He’s not sure how the feds are going to view pharmacists dispensing, monitoring and dosing a Schedule I drug, so he doesn’t know what the future will hold for peers employed at private dispensaries or at the state’s central fill.

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Herbert called the new law the “best-designed” program in the country. Medical professional Bonnie Kilgannon isn’t sure. “There are several places in the bill where we are pushing up against federal regulations and we don’t know yet how that’s going to go.” “This is the first state that’s had the arrogance to do something like this,” he says. Shifrar also hasn’t yet heard from the state’s Department of Professional Licensing about how they’ll deal with pharmacists working with the substance. The uncertainty makes him wonder who would choose to work with medical cannabis. “Not a single person I know is going to risk their license by becoming a cannabis dispensary,” he says. Jennifer Bolton, a spokesperson with the state, released a statement to City Weekly noting that, “The Utah Department of Commerce will not pursue disciplinary action for treatment of cannabis against license holders whose treatment with cannabis complies with the provisions of the Utah Medical Cannabis Act,” and that they currently don’t have any plans to issue further directives to license holders. Libertas’ Boyack says fears like Shifrar’s are unfounded, noting that there are state criminal and civil protections written into the law, and participating pharmacists are not at risk of losing a DEA license, which allows medical professionals to prescribe controlled substances. “In the world of pharmacists, it is the pharmacy that has a federal license. The pharmacist has no such risk,” Boyack says. “We’re quite confident this is not going to be the poison pill some critics claim it is.” Boyack believes the reworked law is a step in the right direction, but, “it’s certainly not a final destination, by any means.” He expects to talk with lawmakers about increasing the number of private dispensaries, controlling cost so patients aren’t forced to rely on the black market and expanding the qualifying conditions list. “Our intent is eventually to see the condition list completely done away with so that doctors

and pharmacists working together can, at their discretion, use cannabis as a treatment option and not be handcuffed arbitrarily by a list the Legislature came up with,” he says. Sen. Luz Escamilla, D-Salt Lake City, already has submitted a new bill designed to eliminate some confusing wording and add two amendments that’d add protections for state employees and make appointees of the compassionate use board subject to Senate confirmation. “I think the current legislation is not feasible for implementation,” Escamilla says. “I understand we’re gonna make a lot of changes and a lot of bills are going to be taking place as we try to tackle a pretty complicated issue, but the way this bill is structured, I don’t know it’s going to work.” Despite his role in negotiating the compromise, Boyack knows the new law isn’t perfect. He says he’s not sure how the central fill is going to be implemented, or how the state is going to allow patients to use their debit card to purchase their medicine, given that federal banking laws prohibit banks from taking money from cannabis sales. “We don’t think any of this is going to work. It’s not like we share their vision or their hope,” he says. “We think the central fill has many features that present a challenge to ever getting it up and running, or keeping it up and running.” Like many, Escamilla expects medical cannabis to become a perennial legislative issue, as lawmakers tinker with the program and strive to meet the governor’s extravagant claim of Utah exceptionalism. “This is going to be an incremental process,” she says, offering a prediction: “It’s going to be pretty painful.” CW

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 13

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Christmas trees, wreaths, garland, creative gifts, plants and gift cards

starts here

A Great Christmas

14 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

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12 Terrible Christmas

Movies

By David Riedel | comments@cityweekly.net |

The Christmas Chronicles

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 15

Netflix is pushing this original flick like a drug dealer pushes smack at in-patient rehab. This “new holiday classic” (ugh) is the first thing I see each time I open the Netflix app, so I bit, and lemme tell ya: This movie bites. Two douchey siblings accidentally prevent Santa from making his Christmas Eve deliveries and team with him to smooth things over. The one saving grace here is that St. Nick is played by Kurt Russell at his Kurt Russelliest, which is just what a story this frenetic but strangely dramatically inert needs—Santa with a touch of F.U. Ugly touches: Russell makes a timely but tasteless joke about Chicago violence, and the story is sparked by a firefighter dad’s death, cuz nuthin’ says Christmas like a dead parent.

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1492 PICTURES

hat did Andy Williams croon? “Everyone[’s] telling you be of good cheer?” Well, elf your good cheer, man. Before being assigned this piece, I loved the holiday season. Now, my already-cold critic’s heart is frozen, and I’m afraid the only thing that will melt it is the pact I made with Satan many years ago. (But that’s another story for another time.) With the advent of streaming services, the depth and breadth of Xmas flicks featuring Kris Kringle and stories of his season is legion. The Hallmark Channel alone is responsible for 78 percent of Christmas movies, and all of them star Candace Cameron-Bure (I made that up, but I’m probably not far off). There are so many choices out there you could just crawl into a nice TVadjacent pine box and stare at the screen until your eyes explode and you bleed to death. The following 12 truly rotten Christmas films will hasten your demise, but they’re probably still more fun than midnight Mass. Some you’ve heard of and some you haven’t, but they all have the following in common: They wounded my soul—and that’s an achievement, because I’m soulless. And if you’re the kind of wimp who cares about spoilers from years-old movies, let me extend a “bah humbug” and “get bent” to you during this most wonderful time of the year.

@daveseesmovies

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Roast some chestnuts and fire up the remote control. The holidays are here!

Days of

HALESTORM ENTERTAINMENT

Thirtysomething mom Martha Evans (Kristy Swanson) is abandoned before Christmas by her deadbeat husband who leaves her with their kid, her daughter from a previous marriage and a stepson. Martha finds temporary housing and employment in Mapleton, Utah (coincidentally where the movie was filmed!). But life continues to suck: The stepson shouts “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!” each time Martha has the audacity to try to feed and clothe him, work pays dick, and when Dad finally shows up, he’s a total assbag who taunts the kid over his speech impediment. Out of desperation, Martha prays for help at what looks like the Mapleton City Park Gazebo, and the townsfolk bend over backward to help her because God likes helping poor attractive white families in need. I understand how Swanson got involved in this nonsense—it’s been all downhill since Buffy the Vampire Slayer—but how did old pro Tess Harper land here? (Tender mercies, my ass.)

BROAD GREEN PICTURES

Bad Santa 2

Bad Santa is a near-great film (I said it). Then again, I have a soft spot for movies in which the main character—Billy Bob Thornton as a drunk-ass mall Santa—hates himself and finds redemption, all while revelling in the three B’s: Booze, bullshit and buttfucking. Bad Santa 2 pisses all over its predecessor’s goodwill by making the jokes cheaper, dumber and cruder (yes, cruder than buttfucking) but with ice in its heart instead of hard-won Christmas cheer. Thornton and Kathy Bates look bored and at times downright embarrassed. Bad Santa 2 is a textbook example of how not to do a sequel.

TRISTAR PICTURES

Silent Night, Deadly Night and Silent Night, Deadly Night 2

While Bad Santa 2 is the near-nadir of holiday sequels, Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 takes the fruitcake. It’s so incompetently made that about half its runtime is flashbacks of its predecessor, and Silent Night, Deadly Night is something of a miracle in terms of incompetence. (I don’t have the space to explain it, but shell out the $2.99 to see for yourself.) The first SNDN’s notoriety comes from the outrage it triggered upon its 1984 release because the public was led to believe Santa himself was an axe murderer (it’s really just some chump in a Santa suit). It’s also shockingly misogynistic, and it takes special talent to stand out for misogyny among 1980s horror movies. But there is one good thing that came from these two bananas flicks: Part Two gave the internet the “Garbage day!” meme, which almost cancels out all the other horrible things these movies wrought, including three subsequent sequels.

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

Krampus

I had high hopes for Krampus because I dig co-writer/director Michael Dougherty’s Halloween flick Trick ’r Treat. Unfortunately, Dougherty squandered his holiday movie-making skills on Trick, because Krampus ain’t no treat. It’s so mean-spirited that when it’s revealed the characters are trapped inside a snow globe for eternity by the demon Krampus, it made me want to kick puppies. And believe it or not, I’m no puppy kicker. Krampus matriarch Toni Collette got a much better horror flick under her belt with Hereditary.

LUCKY COFFEE PRODUCTIONS

Happy Christmas

I think director Joe Swanberg’s Drinking Buddies isn’t just a great film, but one of the best films ever made about relationships. But then I saw Happy Christmas and realized Drinking Buddies must be a fluke. Happy Christmas was largely improvised and it shows (badly—just watch the cast flounder). Plus, when Lena Dunham is your most likeable cast member, you’re in trouble. At least Melanie Lynskey acts in her native Kiwi accent (a small bonus) and this is one of Anna Kendrick’s first no-wait-I-can-play-a-fuck-up characters. Even at 82 minutes, Happy Christmas is too long.

Love Actually

UNIVERSAL PICTURES

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16 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

A Christmas Wish

People love this film, but people are dumb. What’s to love? Alan Rickman cheating on Emma Thompson? Or The Walking Dead guy stalking Keira Knightley? Or Hugh Grant sexually harassing his subordinate? Or Liam Neeson instantly getting over his wife’s death in order to help her creepy son woo some kid-singer who performs a ghastly version of “All I Want for Christmas is You” (a tie for worst Christmas song ever, along with “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” and “Mele Kalikimaka”)? Jesus, this movie sucks. At least Bill Nighy is good for some yuks and Laura Linney’s storyline—in which her poor sap ends up alone by choice—has a ring of truth to it. The rest is Grade-Z junk with a Grade-A cast.

Deck the Newsroom! City Weekly staffers reflect on their holiday guilty pleasures. For me, the holy trinity starts with Rankin/ Bass’ ’Twas the Night Before Christmas, the animated special that showed us that even a miracle needs a hand, and that mousy intellectuals with a penchant for clockwork should just mind their own damn business. The sleigh ride continues with the classic “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” from Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas, featuring the legendary crooner and David Bowie—the oddest of holiday pairings since “fruit cake” and “delicious.” You can sense Bing’s impending fear of a dandy home invasion when Bowie walks through the manor and asks to use his piano. Then there’s the Muppets’ timeless rendition of “The 12 Days of Christmas” from John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together. The gusto from Miss Piggy belting “Five goooold rings!” always gets me in the mood for the season—and for Christmas ham. —Enrique Limón, editor Christmas is always such a frantic season for movie-watching for me—packing in all the stuff to be considered for year-end awards— that I almost never have time for stuff I’ve seen 100 times and actually like. Probably the closest I get to something like this is Robert Zemeckis’ The Polar Express, which I often have a hard time turning away from when I’m channel surfing during the holidays. It gets even more fascinating as the years go by, and its primitive “uncanny valley” motion-capture computer-animated characters look ever creepier. Sure, it’s cheesy, schmaltzy spectacle, but it also feels more nightmarish than anyone involved could ever have intended. —Scott Renshaw, A&E editor For several years there in the ’70s, I refused to watch the World War II epic Patton after I’d read somewhere it was Richard Nixon’s favorite film. My pettiness waned, and the 1970 film starring George C. Scott became a favorite. The sole holiday connection is when elements “Ol’ Blood and Guts’“ 3rd Army relieved Yanks in the French town of Bastogne on Christmas Day. Patton pivots on quotes—which he actually uttered. A war correspondent asks him about his pistol grips. “They’re ivory,” snaps the general. “Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would carry a pearl-handled pistol.” In another scene, a chaplain remarks, “I was interested to see a Bible by your bed. You actually find time to read it?” Responds Patton: “I sure do. Every goddamn day.” He tells troops: “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.” But, of course, the most-famous quote comes after he loses command of the 7th Army after slapping a shell-shocked soldier in a Sicily field hospital. “Ah, George,” he laments to his orderly, “I wish I’d kissed the son-of-abitch!” And in this spirit of good-will-towardall, that’s my sentiment exactly. —Lance Gudmundsen, proofreader

TOUCHSTONE PICTURES

PARAMOUNT PICTURES

White Christmas

While not a direct remake of Holiday Inn, you’re better off watching that better film (except for the blackface scene ... yeesh). Put it this way: Holiday Inn is John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” and White Christmas is Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” Which would you rather listen to? Plus, Holiday Inn has Fred Astaire and White Christmas has Danny Kaye. Who’s the better dancer? Fred Astaire or Danny fuckin’ Kaye? And would you rather be kicked in the groin or eat anything you want and never gain a pound? There are easy answers to these questions, people.

The Preacher’s Wife

Speaking of ill conceived remakes, The Preacher’s Wife is an update of the superior The Bishop’s Wife, the lighthearted tale of an angel who comes to Earth to guide a bishop but instead falls for his spouse. Oh ho! WWJD? While it’s not fair to compare Bishop lead Cary Grant to Preacher lead Denzel Washington—these are two wonderful but very different actors—it is safe to say Grant does whimsy in a way Washington can’t (or won’t). Courtney B. Vance is fine in his thankless role, but it’s easy to see why Whitney Houston’s film career took a dump after The Preacher’s Wife. She’s the worst.

It’s a Wonderful Life

This is a family movie (and another Netflix oinker making the rounds) so I’m willing to forgive some of the corny stuff, but I’m not willing to forgive the stupid stuff, like this movie’s idea of what a reporter’s job is, or how a woman who’s about to be queen of a nation walks around in T-shirts and cardigans. The story’s couple, played by the otherwise lovely Rose McIver and the bland and blandly attractive Ben Lamb, has all the chemistry of a brother and sister. And McIver’s father, who’s used for comic relief, is the kind of person that if you knew in real life, the police would be picking you up on a homicide charge.

BONNEVILLE PRODUCTIONS

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 17

I’ve never been a fan of holiday movies. The moralizing, the mind-numbingly catchy music and the one-dimensional themes—I get it, holidays are a time for family, and giving, not receiving, gifts is what’s important—all make me reflexively gag. I suppose that makes The Grinch my favorite Christmas movie, and of all the films in Grinchdom, I’d have to choose 2000’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, starring Jim Carrey, as my favorite. Carrey’s Grinch has pizzazz as he breaks down his booked holiday schedule (“4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one”) and ruminates on universal quandaries (“Am I just eating because I’m bored?”) before the inevitable Christmas Spirit inspires him to save the town’s Christmas swag from falling off the side of a mountain. It’s funny and gently mocking before it relents to the holiday’s power, a series of emotions similar to my own feelings each December. —Kelan Lyons, staff writer

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Glory be to YouTube! That’s where you’ll find this gem, which tells a tale as old as time: White Christians being indignant that you don’t believe the same things they do. I mean, of course no one stops and smiles when you say “Merry Christmas” to them on the street, Mr. Krueger. Old men chatting up strangers is weird. And that kid you randomly assault with a dopey question? Be glad his mother isn’t packin’ heat. Also of note: If you don’t open a window, MOTHERFUCKERS YOU’RE SHOUTING AT CAN’T HEAR YOU. In 1980, this might have been charming, but Mr. Krueger’s Christmas comes off as the opening shot fired in the imaginary war on Christmas that right-wingers have been waging for decades. Jimmy Stewart plays Krueger, the lonely widower who imagines himself back in time to talk with Christ at His birth. We have a word for that kind of imagination, Mr. Krueger: dementia. Even the admittedly wonderful performances of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir can’t save this one. The pits. After all this hate, I feel obligated to report that I set out to watch A Holiday Engagement with evil in my heart but became entranced by Bonnie Somerville’s sweet performance and the movie’s refusal to take itself too seriously. It’s a Hallmark flick, and it’s free on just about every app. So there’s your (bonus) 13th! Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa, and happy all-the-other-holidays-this-time-of-year-that-escape-me. If you find coal in your stocking, may you also find mud in your eye. Cheers! CW

MOTION PICTURE CORP. OF AMERICA

Mr. Krueger’s Christmas

LIBERTY FILMS

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding

I’m not much of one for movies generally, much less Christmas movies, which might be the kitschiest of the kitsch. Sentimentality is not my style, or at least that’s what I like to tell myself, despite a longrunning flirtation with the serial TV drama Grey’s Anatomy. But if I’ve got to watch one, I return to the holiday movies of my youth—and my grandparents’ youth. Each year, we opened the holiday season with a post-Thanksgiving-dinner viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life. This 1940s classic follows George Bailey, a poor fella beset by accidental money woes who contemplates suicide, only to be saved by—that’s right—his guardian angel. Fun fact: it was decried in an FBI memo as too communist. But don’t worry, it’s basically a paean to good ol’ American capitalism. And then there’s White Christmas, the 1950s song-and-dance romance featuring Bing Crosby. I mean, they’re really good at harmonizing. These films have all the tropes necessary for a 1950s American (white) Christmas—but look, I’m still going to be humming Christmas songs for a day after viewing, before resuming my usual Grinch-like state. —Naomi Clegg, copy editor

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Although “Two fighters against a star destroyer?” from The Empire Strikes Back is a strong contender for worst line reading in movie history, I think “Look daddy, teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings” is the grand prize winner. Ugh, I really wish George Bailey had drowned. Does that make me a jerk? I know I’m the only person who dislikes this movie, but try to watch it objectively and you’ll understand why it was a box office disappointment in its initial 1946 release.

Come December, I try to stay far away from seemingly everyone’s favorite Christmas flick, Elf. Instead, I find myself more fascinated with mid-1990s holiday nostalgia. This is clearly because those were the years I still believed in Santa and everything seemed magical. Now, if I’m flipping through channels and come across Jingle All The Way, you can sure as hell bet I’m not going anywhere else. Between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad’s buffoonery trying to track down the virtually sold-out Turbo Man action figure and the cheesy lines throughout (I’m going to deck your halls, bub!), I can’t help but smile. Bonus: I first saw this film during a birthday party at the small theater inside Jolley’s Pharmacy and Top Hat Video on 1300 South and 1700 East—you know, back when video rental stores were still a thing. Ah, the ’90s. —Ray Howze, editorial assistant

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18 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, DEC. 13-19, 2018

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

LISA BERG

ALLAN AMATO

BEAU PEARSON

CHRIS LECLUYSE

ESSENTIALS

the

THURSDAY 12/13

FRIDAY 12/14

SATURDAY 12/15

SUNDAY 12/16

Vilification. This word, to writer/director Kevin Smith, could mean dragging painful, uncomfortable memories of his youth/adulthood into the public’s spotlight just for a laugh. The unwritten law of what is funny and what is offensive has never thwarted Smith from poking fun, mostly at himself. Who else would make light of a near-fatal heart attack by singing during the procedure to implant a stent? “The [doctor] went in there, and they keep you awake while it’s going on,” Smith told Today earlier this year. “I was talking the whole operation—I was singing the theme song to Degrassi ’cause it’s very hopeful.” Smith almost died this February shortly after recording his comedy special Silent But Deadly, an eerie title considering what the New Jersey native was about to experience. But Smith isn’t slowing down, still taking on a plethora of roles, from directing CW’s Supergirl and The Flash, to producing his podcast, Hollywood Babble-On, with co-host Ralph Garman. The 1995 cult classic Clerks, centered around two best friends working at a convenience store, put Smith on the map. Smith’s silent role as Bob, paired up with Jay (Jason Mewes), became a bastion of Gen-X nostalgia and the creative catalyst behind Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Mallrats and eventually, Clerks II. The writing process hasn’t been all peaches for Smith; in today’s world, it’s a learning process for writers and comics toeing the line against political correctness for a laugh. “Like anything in this life, it has the potential to fucking trigger somebody, right?” Smith told a Napa, Calif., audience last month as he explained his newfound veganism. His idiosyncratic podcast with Garman might be triggering, but it’s well worth it. (Rachelle Fernandez) Kevin Smith @ Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Dec. 13 & 14, 7 p.m. $35, 21+, wiseguyscomedy.com

Suffice it to say, The Nutcracker ranks alongside It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol among perennial holiday classics, one that’s timeless in all its trappings. Ballet West has kept that tradition alive with this year’s production, marking its 63rd annual holiday presentation. After premiering in Saint Petersburg, Russia, in 1892, The Nutcracker made its American debut with the San Francisco Ballet in 1944 and subsequently came to Utah in 1955. Ballet West’s version represents the longest-running annual production of any American dance company. Last year, Ballet West unveiled new sets, props, costumes and special effects, marking the first time since the late ’80s that the company has changed its treatment. Notably too, for the third time in 10 years, Ballet West will present its production of The Nutcracker at Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C., just before its local run. Based on the fairy tale by E.T.A. Hoffmann, and with the music of classical composer Pyotr Illyich Tchaikovsky, The Nutcracker shares the story of a girl named Clara, who’s given a nutcracker by a mysterious stranger, then falls asleep and dreams about sugarplum fairies, marauding mice, gingerbread soldiers and a perfect prince. It provides something we could all use these days: fantasy with a happy ending. “The Nutcracker has all the stuff of great theater,” Adam Sklute, Ballet West’s artistic director, says in the Playbill program. “No matter how many performances I watch, I never get tired of it. It is perfect for ballet aficionados, children and newcomers alike.” (Lee Zimmerman) Ballet West: The Nutcracker @ Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 220 South, 801-355-2787, Dec. 14-29, dates and times vary, $44-$150, artsaltlake.org

Many people idealize having an “old-time” Christmas. Whether it’s classic movies from the mid-20th century or the storied traditions of Dickensian England, there’s something about this time of year that makes people want to look back longingly through history. For the 2018 holiday season, the artists at Utopia Early Music invite everyone to go really old school with Noël! A French Baroque Christmas. Now in its 10th year, Utopia Early Music regularly gives Salt Lake City a chance to experience classical music in the way it was first performed centuries ago. For the upcoming program, the audience might find itself experiencing familiar tunes in new ways. “Imagine if you were in church and suddenly heard the choir singing a prayer to the tune of ‘Jingle Bells!’” Utopia’s Christopher LeCluyse says of the evening’s centerpiece composition, Charpentier’s Messe de Minuit pour Noël. The piece “weaves together 11 popular French Christmas songs into a beautiful and festive setting.” LeCluyse, a tenor, co-founded the Utopia venture with soprano Emily Nelson, and both will perform along with mezzo-soprano Megan Lee and baritone John Bergquist, while accompanied by musicians playing period-appropriate instruments, including baroque cello and harpsichord. The performances take place Dec. 15 and 16 in downtown Salt Lake City at Cathedral Church of St. Mark. Admission is pay-as-able, with a suggested donation of $15 for adults, $12 for seniors and $10 for students. (Geoff Griffin) Utopia Early Music: Noël! A French Baroque Christmas @ Cathedral Church of St. Mark, 231 E. 100 South, Dec. 15, 8 p.m.; Dec. 16, 5 p.m., suggested $10-$15 donation, utopiaearlymusic.org

A president is suspected of scandal. An administration is in disarray, its inner circle under investigation. Sound familiar? There’s ample reason to perceive some dèjá vu. Echoes of the Watergate affair, the real-life detective drama that forced Richard Nixon from power, are being replayed in 2018’s halls of power. The man who helped expose the bungled burglary at the Democratic national headquarters in Washington’s Watergate complex might have the most reason to suspect history is repeating itself. Bob Woodward, along with Washington Post colleague Carl Bernstein, remain icons of journalism for their Pulitzer Prize-winning book All the President’s Men, a retelling of their investigation into the scandal that shook a nation. “It has echoes,” Woodward remarked by phone ahead of his scheduled evening in Park City. “In Nixon’s case, there were tapes that showed a clear obstruction of justice. This may be that, but everyone is waiting on [special counsel Robert] Mueller. There’s a lot of unsavory activity, to say the least.” Woodward’s recent book, Fear: Trump in the White House, offers a behind-the-scenes account of the chaos that’s rampant in the farthest recesses of the White House. It’s a scary scenario that again grips the country while provoking further wrath. With journalists under siege and ludicrously labeled “the enemy of the people,” Woodward sees the present administration succumbing to the strategy Nixon employed during Watergate. “We were called character assassins,” Woodward recalls. “I don’t think that the press should get unhinged by it. We should just proceed with our work ... and not take the bait.” (LZ) Bob Woodward @ Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-655-8252, Dec. 16, 7:30 p.m., $30-$90, parkcityinstitute.org

Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman

Ballet West: The Nutcracker

Utopia Early Music: Noël! A French Baroque Christmas

An Evening With Bob Woodward

A&E

BOOKS

The King’s English turns to its community for an anthology celebrating the local bookseller.

• 4000 sq ft of play space ENRIQUE LIMÓN

• Full Cafe with Specialty Coffee

The King’s English Bookshop While Isabella writes as an academic for his job, he describes his contribution to Turning Pages as a different kind of writing than he has done before. “I ended up telling a story about the years of my life I’ve been connected to the bookstore,” he says, “finding it as something of an oasis when we were feeling lost … This shop is invaluable to the community. There was a time shortly after Barnes & Noble in Sugar House and amazon.com appeared when The King’s English was really struggling. In those places, you’re not meeting people who want to put a book in your hand that will change your life.” While the Turning Pages anthologies have helped connect the bookshop with its devoted customers, it has also subsequently created a new mission for the store. Using self-publishing tools through IngramSpark, The King’s English created its own publishing imprint, TKE Ink. In addition to the Turning Pages anthologies, TKE Ink has also published I’ll Tell You What…, a collection of columns by The Salt Lake Tribune columnist Ann Cannon commemorating her father, the late legendary BYU football coach LaVell Edwards. “The neat thing about this,” Eckman says, “is that it’s self-publishing, but it also satisfies our need for stock, storage and distribution. Now we’re selling books to Barnes & Noble and Amazon.” And that’s the way to send the power of this Salt Lake City book-loving community out into the world. CW

The King’s English Bookshop 1511 S. 1500 East Thursday, Dec. 13, 7 p.m. 801-484-9100 kingsenglish.com

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 19

TURNING PAGES: THE KING’S ENGLISH AT 40

(801) 738-4413 275 E 400 S Salt Lake City www.oasisgamesslc.com

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were invited to read their work at The King’s English birthday party in September, then returned again for a signing once the book was published later in the fall. According to Eckman, it was important to include written and visual work, since “we didn’t want to limit people who could participate.” And it was a powerful thing for those creators to be published in this way. “We see these people come in and ask, ‘When are you next going to be accepting submissions,’” Eckman says. “To be published is a big deal. To be an author, and be celebrated, really resonates.” The response to the initial project was so strong that The King’s English decided to make Turning Pages an annual tradition. This week marks the publication of the second installment, Turning Pages: The King’s English at 40 (which recognizes the 40th anniversary year in which submissions were collected, though this September marked the 41st birthday), which used the theme “Once Upon a Time in a Bookshop.” Submissions for the 2019 installment, “People in Our Neighborhood,” closed in October. Among the new participants in this year’s volume is Russell Isabella, an associate professor of Consumer & Family Studies at the University of Utah. For Isabella, contributing to Turning Pages was a way to express his personal appreciation for The King’s English after many years as a patron. “When my wife and I moved from Pennsylvania to Logan in 1986,” Isabella recalls, “we experienced a bit of culture shock. At some point we started making monthly sojourns to SLC for Granato’s [Deli], record stores—and we found The King’s English. We began going to their Christmas party, spending too much money there on books, getting to know the employees, taking our children to the story hours … Then we moved, and I’ve lived pretty much around the corner from them for close to 30 years … So I was motivated [to contribute to Turning Pages] by my love for the place.

COME SEE WHY OASIS SHOULD BE YOUR REFUGE FROM THE ORDINARY!

or more than 40 years, The King’s English Bookshop has been a staple of the Salt Lake City book-lovers’ community. But it’s become more than a place that sells and promotes books. Now, it’s a place that creates them, too. Turning Pages: The King’s English at 39— published in fall 2017—marked a new direction in the bookshop’s annual efforts to commemorate the anniversary of its opening in September 1977. According to marketing manager Rob Eckman, “As we approached our 40th birthday, we discussed different things we could do to involve the community, to really be able to celebrate that community aspect of what bookstores are. Finally, we decided to publish a book.” That book was indeed a community effort, as The King’s English put out a call for submissions through notices at the store, its customer email lists and social media. The request was for personal 500-word-or-less essays or visual art, focused on the theme “A Night in the Bookstore,” and included participants in a youth category (12 and under) and adult (13 and over). Nearly 25 participants submitted work, and every work—once it was deemed appropriate for a general audience— was included in the resulting anthology. It was a big deal for the authors—including a couple of 10-year-old writers—who

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BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

• Choose REAL reality this season. Gift a board game instead of a video game & make real memories!

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Self to Shelf

THE PLACE FOR GIFTS FOR THE NERDS ON YOUR LIST

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| CITY WEEKLY |

20 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

moreESSENTIALS

Urban Arts Gallery (116 S. Rio Grande St., urbanartsgallery.org) presents portraits and figure paintings by 17 local artists— including Alex Maher, Ashley Fairbourne, Bailey Hatcher (pictured) and Dawn Taylor—in Simulacra, which runs through Dec. 30.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

The Bee: True Stories from the Hive Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, Dec. 13, 7 p.m., thebeeslc.org A Christmas Carol Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Dec. 24, dates and times vary, hct.org A Christmas Carol Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, haletheater.org The Distance of the Moon Wasatch Theatre Co., 124 S. 400 West, through Dec. 22, Fridays & Saturdays, 7 p.m., moon.sackerson.org Elf: The Musical CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, through Dec. 22, 7:30 p.m., centerpointtheatre.org A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, through Dec. 22, 7:30 p.m., zigarts.com The Gift of the Magi Midvale Performing Arts Center, 695 W. Center St., Midvale, through Dec. 17, dates and times vary, sugarfactoryplayhouse.com How the Grouch Stole Christmas Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, Murray, through Jan. 5, dates and times vary, desertstarplayhouse.com

Little Women Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, empresstheatre.com Live Nativity Wasatch County Special Event Center, 415 S. Southfield Road, Heber, Dec. 19, 6 & 7:30 p.m., gohebervalley.com Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberly Pioneer Theatre Co., 300 S. 1400 East, through Dec. 15, dates and times vary, pioneertheatre.org Muffet’s Christmas Carol The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, theobt.org Perfect Arrangement An Other Theater Co., 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., Provo, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, anothertheater.org Pinkalicious: The Musical Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Dec. 30, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org White Christmas Empress Theatre, 9104 W. 2700 South, Magna, through Dec. 21, dates and times vary, empresstheatre.com The Wizard of Oz Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Jan. 2, hct.org

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Bonnie Harris & The Valley Jazz Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, Dec. 17, 7 p.m., culturalcelebration.org Christmas Through the Ages Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 Presidents Circle, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m., saltlakesymphony.org Christmas with The Tabernacle Choir Temple Square, 15 E. South Temple, through Dec. 15, 8 p.m., lds.org Oratorio Society of Utah: Handel’s Messiah Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 Presidents Circle, Dec. 16, 7 p.m., tickets.utah.edu Utah COPA Draper Winter Concert Jeanne Wagner Theatre, 138 W. 300 South, Dec. 17, 5:30 p.m.; Dec. 18, 5:30 & 7:30 p.m., arttix.artsaltlake.org Utah Symphony: An Evening in Spain De Jong Concert Hall, 800 E. Campus Drive, Provo, Dec. 13, 7:30 p.m., events.byu.edu; Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Dec. 14, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 15, 5:30 p.m., arttix.artsaltlake.org Utah Symphony: Here Comes Santa Claus Browning Center, 1901 University Circle, Ogden, Dec. 17, 7 p.m., utahsymphony.org Utopia Early Music: Noël! A French Baroque Christmas Cathedral Church of St. Mark, 231 E. 100 South, Dec. 15, 8 p.m.; Dec. 16, 5 p.m; utopiaearlymusic.org (see p. 18) Wasatch Singers: Peace on a Christmas Day Granger Christian Church, 3232 W. 4100 South, West Valley City, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m.

COMEDY & IMPROV

Comedy Cares Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 16, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

Comedy Improv: O-Town Throwdown The Comedy Loft, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Dec. 15, 8 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Comedy Improv: The A-Team The Comedy Loft, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Dec. 15, 10:30 p.m., ogdencomedyloft.com Heather Mabbott Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, Dec. 14-15, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Hollywood Babble-On Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 13-14, 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 18) Kevin Smith Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Dec. 13-14, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 18) Rodney Norman Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Dec. 14-15, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Laughing Stock Improv Comedy The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, every Friday and Saturday, 10 p.m., theobt.org

DANCE

LITERATURE Turning Pages: The King’s English at 40 The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Dec. 13, 5-7 p.m., kingsenglish.com (see p. 19) Amy & Greg Newbold: If da Vinci Painted a Dinosaur The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Dec. 15, 11 a.m., kingsenglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKET

Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 270 S. Rio Grande St., through April 20, Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org

FESTIVALS & MARKETS

Amy Redford The St. Regis Deer Valley, 2300 Deer Valley Drive East, Park City, Dec. 18, 6-8 p.m., kimballartcenter.org Bob Woodward: Fear in the White House Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, Dec. 16, 7:30 p.m., ecclescenter.org (see p. 18) David Sheff & Nic Sheff: Beautiful Boy Eccles Center, 1750 Kearns Blvd., Park City, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m., ecclescenter.org Utah Adventure Journal Speaker Series: Jake Hutchinson Snowbird Ski Resort, Highway 210, Snowbird, Dec. 13, 6 p.m., snowbird.com TEDxMarmalade: Ciriac Isbeth Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, Dec. 15, 7 p.m., slcpl.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 21

Blaine Clayton: Feel the Magic of Watercolors Local Colors of Utah Gallery, 1054 E. 2100 South, through Dec. 18, localcolorsart.com Daniel Everett: Security Questions UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 12, utahmoca.org DeConstructed Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Jan. 11, slcpl.org Dreamscapes Kimball Art Center, 638 Park Ave., Park City, through Jan. 6, kimballartcenter.org Glass Art Show Red Butte Gardens, 300 Wakara Way, through Dec. 18, redbuttegarden.org Holiday Group Exhibition A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, through Jan. 1, agalleryonline.com Jeffory Buist: Open Spaces Anderson-Foothill Branch, 1135 S. 2100 East, through Dec. 20, slcpl.org Kelly Baisley & Virginia Catherall: Sense of Place, Great Salt Lake Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through Jan. 11, visualarts.utah.gov Kristeen Lindorff: My Journey with Pen & Ink Marmalade Branch, 280 W. 500 North, through Jan. 17, slcpl.org Molly Morin: Information Density Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 12, utahmoca.org Park City Collects III Kimball Art Center, 638 Park Ave., Park City, through Jan. 6, kimballartcenter.org salt 14: Yang Yongliang Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through June 2, umfa.utah.edu Simulacra Urban Arts Galley, 137 S. Rio Grande St., through Dec. 30, urbanartsgallery.org (see p. 20) Site Lines: Recent Work by University of Utah Art Faculty Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Jan. 6, umfa.utah.edu Small Works Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, through Jan. 12, modernwestfineart.com Sri Whipple: 32 Paintings in a Small Room God Hates Robots, 314 W. 300 South, Ste. 250, through Dec. 14, godhatesrobots.com Statewide Annual Exhibition Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through Jan. 11, heritage.utah.gov UMOCA at Trolley: Rendezvous Trolley Square, 602 S. 700 East, through Jan. 26, utahmoca.org

Art Elevated Holiday Boutique Swaner Preserve and EcoCenter, 1258 Center Drive, Park City, Dec. 14-16, times vary, pcscarts.org Holiday Market Downtown Artist Collective, 258 E. 100 South, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays through Dec. 23, downtownartistcollective.com Holiday Craft Market Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, through Dec. 19, times vary, saltlakearts.org Luminaria Ashton Gardens, 3900 N. Garden Drive, Lehi, through Jan. 5, 5-8 p.m., thanksgivingpoint.org Made in Utah Winter Fest The Gateway, 90 S. 400 West, Dec. 15, noon-8 p.m.; Dec. 16, noon-6 p.m., madeinutahfest.com Santa Paws Station Park, 833 Clark Lane, Farmington, Mondays through Dec. 17, 4-8 p.m.

TALKS & LECTURES

AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Jolly Holiday Diva! Club X, 445 S. 400 West, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, thevivaladivashow.com Misfit Toys: Stand-Up Comedy Drag Show The Beehive, 666 S. State, Dec. 16, 9 p.m., ronbushonline.com

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Ballet West: The Nutcracker Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 220 South, 801-355-2787, Dec. 14-29, dates and times vary, artsaltlake.org (see p. 18) Imagine Ballet Theatre: The Nutcracker Peery’s Egyptian Theater, 2415 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Dec. 14-22, dates and times vary, egyptiantheaterogden.com Mountain West Ballet: The Nutcracker Mount Jordan Middle School, 425 W. Center St., Sandy, through Dec. 19, dates and times vary, mountainwestballet.org Odyssey Dance Theatre: The ReduxNutCracker Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, through Dec. 22, dates and times vary, tickets.utah.edu Utah Metropolitan Ballet: The Nutcracker Covey Center for the Arts, 425 W. Center St., Provo, through Dec. 19, dates and times vary, provo.org

LGBTQ EVENTS

22 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

| CITY WEEKLY |

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

DEREK CARLISLE

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

AT A GLANCE

Open: Monday-Saturday, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Best bet: The mixed veggie stir fry Can’t miss: The big, bad Vegas roll

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 23

vegetarian roll options at most sushi joints, their appearance on the menu can feel obligatory. The chefs behind the counter don’t see them as focal points; otherwise, they wouldn’t be shelling out the big bucks for that sushi-grade yellowfin tuna. Since Veggie House crafts its showpieces from cucumber, avocado,

| CITY WEEKLY |

In addition to offering a wide range of Asian favorites, delivering sensory experiences like this to vegans, vegetarians or those who choose to be meatless for the day is what Veggie House ( 52 E. 1700 South, 801-282-8686, veggiehouseutah.com) is all about. While it’s common to see

ust because someone dislikes eating meat doesn’t mean they should be deprived of the experience of watching a freshly sliced roll of sushi make its way from the kitchen to the table. It doesn’t mean they should miss out on separating each delicate slice with wooden chopsticks to reveal gemlike fillings resting snugly within the pillowy embrace of sticky sushi rice. And it definitely doesn’t mean they shouldn’t know what it’s like to have a beautifully balanced arrangement of flavor and texture dance its way across their taste buds.

up a mean bowl of pho. Without the font of umami goodness that comes from slow-cooked beef broth, I was curious to see how they would apply their plant-based bent to this trendiest of Vietnamese soups. Shiitake mushrooms are their secret to re-creating the richness of traditional beef pho, and they also throw in sliced cauliflower and thick chunks of daikon along with the familiar mix of green onions and black pepper. I’ve had some veggie pho that incorporates leafy greens like bok choy, but I much prefer Veggie House’s cruciferous and root veggie approach, which gives the soup a heartiness that offers a great way to warm up as the temperature drops. For those after a meatless alternative to pan-Asian cuisine, Veggie House is a no-brainer. They take their food seriously and have developed some fascinating substitutions for dishes traditionally dominated by meat. With such a wide variety of options at diners’ disposal, it should be easy to put this South Salt Lake destination on heavy rotation. CW

South Salt Lake’s Veggie House is your one-stop shop for meatless maki.

perfectly complements the interior. Although I could recommend Veggie House based on its achievements in the vegetarian sushi field alone, the place also boasts a traditional menu of Chinese, Thai and Vietnamese favorites. Each dish comes with your choice of lightly fried tofu or soy-based chicken, beef and shrimp. Although each protein is soy-based, the chefs have managed to harness convincing flavors and textures for each of their meat substitutes (I’m a bit partial to the soy beef). The traditional Chinese standout is the stir fry with mixed veggies ($8.99). Wokfried veggies and faux beef tossed in a soy gravy and plated on a cloud of rice hit all the comfort-food notes. The rice is perfectly cooked, letting the unctuous gravy seep into every grain, the veggies still have a bit of snap to them, and that soy beef ties it all together. In the Thai department, the pad thai ($8.99) is among the restaurant’s most popular dishes, but I prefer the Thai yellow curry ($8.99). A good curry is like a warm blanket, and this one achieves a rich, savory-sweet blend. I like the traditional inclusion of onion and carrots, but the extra dose of zucchini in this dish does wonders for its overall composition. Not content with three national cuisines, Veggie House also whips

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

The House Always Wins

daikon, carrots and soy, they’ve taken great pains to create food that accentuates the freshness of such simple ingredients while dousing them with subtle notes of flavor. The spicy tuna roll ($9.99) is a good example. Its size is the first thing that gets my attention. I’m used to seeing rolls that run the length and breadth of a candy bar, but the ones here have some meatless meat on their bones. The roll’s girth comes from the rice on the outside—there’s probably twice the usual amount of rice surrounding the avocado and pink, soy-based tuna substitute. The roll gets its heat from a lovely sriracha mayo that has been slathered on its inside, and it gets a sweet contrast from the soy glaze spread across its exterior. It’s a vibrant, fresh-tasting blend of ingredients, and the heat steps in at precisely the right moment. The Vegas roll ($9.99) is a popular choice at Veggie House, and my guess is that’s because it’s the roll that comes packed with just about everything the chefs could fit inside. After being stuffed with soy-based salmon and veggies, this monster is fried in tempura batter, which wraps the rice and fillings with a light, thin crunch. The same sriracha mayo zigzags across the top, giving this Elvis of sushi rolls a creamy kick that

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BACK BURNER BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Get Your Local Shop On!

With Christmas a little more than a week away, it’s time to put on your shopping gameface. This is the time when ordering stuff online gets a little risky time-wise, so you’re better off hoofing it down to the Made in Utah Winter Fest this weekend. The event is not only a celebration of local chefs, artists and craftspeople of all backgrounds, but a chance to peruse a wide variety of locally made products. As shopping without eating is quite ridiculous, all sorts of great food and drink vendors—Mama Africa, Beehive Cheese, Fatty Tuna, Sugar House Distillery and Mountain West Cider, to name a few—are on deck to provide sustenance for a few days of local bargain hunting. The event spans two days, Saturday, Dec. 15, and Sunday, Dec. 16, noon8 p.m. at The Gateway (400 West 100 South), and admission is free.

Bacon with Santa

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After having a kid of my own, I’ve found myself freakishly involved in tracking down the right Santa photoop. In the end, the deciding factor was more selfish than anything. If I was going to spend a day waiting to see jolly old St. Nick with my little girl, I needed something to sweeten the pot just a little. Lo and behold, the Breakfast with Santa event at Discovery Gateway Children’s Museum (444 W. 100 South). Not only will the Santa be present, but the event throws in breakfast and admission to the museum, to boot. Mark your advent calendar for Saturday, Dec. 15, from 8-10 a.m. Tickets can be purchased at discoverygateway.org and run $33 per child (kids under 12 months are free) and $38 per adult. Bring your own camera if you want a snapshot of your family and Santa.

Rock the Food Bank

After Metallica’s recent show broke Vivint Smart Home Arena’s single-concert attendance record—some 17,000 nostalgic metalheads joined the fray—the group paid a visit to the Utah Food Bank to drop off a $10,000 donation before they headed off on the next leg of their tour. The legendary rockers are making contributions like this to similar nonprofits through their All Within My Hands Foundation (allwithinmyhands.org), which raises money to support communities around the country. According to the Utah Food Bank’s tweet about the donation, it’s enough money to provide 30,000 meals to Utahns who need food this season. For more information on how you can help the Utah Food Bank, channel your inner Lars Ulrich and visit utahfoodbank.org.

| CITY WEEKLY |

Back Burner tips: comments@cityweekly.net

LUCKY13SLC.COM

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 25

Quote of the Week: “I’d rather regret doing something than not doing something.” —James Hetfield

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26 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

Beer Trek

No distance is too far when it comes to Utah brews. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

logged a lot of miles looking for the newest of the new in Utah’s exploding craft beer hotspots. Currently, 33 breweries dot the state, with two more looking to go on line any day. Roosters Brewing Co.’s B Street Brewery in Ogden just opened for business, and I was able to try a new beer from those guys. But first, let’s get into a new IPA from one of Salt Lake City’s newer beer spots. RoHa Brewing Project’s Shambo Juicy IPA: From the name, some beer drinkers might think this is one of those hazy Northwest-style IPAs—but it’s not. It comes across as a fruit-enhanced IPA that is juicy on the palate. It pours a hazy, medium goldenyellow color, with one to two fingers of fairly dense and rocky off-white head. Pleasant aromas offer a good balance and complexity of citrus/fruity hops, orange peel and bready malt notes. The taste starts off with a rather clean and crisp citrus flavor; it’s not

until later that a juicy orange flavor begins to develop prominently. There’s not much bitterness at first. Instead, the developing orange flavor plays against a bready and honey-like malt sweetness. However, a bitterness eventually begins to develop, along with spicy, floral and grassy hops flavors until it reaches its bold, resinous peak. The finish carries a touch of alcohol spice, citrus pith and hops bitterness. Overall: This is a nice fruited IPA, an allaround pleasant combination of robustness, malt and orange peel, and it proves easy to drink with the modestly bitter/ drying finish and slightly aggressive 6.5 percent ABV. The hops complement the orange peel exceptionally well. It makes for an enjoyable offering and decent example of a fruited and enhanced IPA. Roosters Brewing Co.’s Flyover California Common: I wasn’t looking for this beer; I came across it by chance last Saturday over at Roosters’ new B Street Brewery at 2325 B Ave. in Ogden. As I located my stool at the end of the long rustic bar, I noticed “Fly Over” on the big chalkboard that towered above and couldn’t resist getting to know a new California Common-style beer. This mildly hazy copper-colored beer has a dense off-white cap of foam that forms with a great reverse-cascade effect. The nose is a smorgasbord of hops, with resiny pine, spruce and some subtle orange peel. The mild caramel malt backbone reveals

MIKE RIEDEL

BEER NERD

just enough toast and delicate sweetness to round out the nose. The taste opens with sheets of hop flavor and bitterness, the melange of pine and citrus transitioning rather quickly to a blend of cracker-like malts with a touch of rye-like bready spiciness; I wonder if there actually is some rye in here. The malt sweetness is low, easily beaten into submission by the assertive hop character. Finishing dry and hoppy, with plenty of bitterness, this beer is excellent. The carbonation is moderate, lending a creamy mouthfeel to the brew.

Overall: It’s a very drinkable beer. It’s not too complex and it could easily be one of those go-to brews when you’re just in the mood for something good but don’t want to sit around contemplating its various nuances. The 4 percent ABV doesn’t hurt, either. Shambo just hit RoHa’s cooler recently and is still super fresh. Look for it in 12-ounce cans. As for Roosters’ Flyover— that’s a Roosters exclusive, but you’ll be able to find it on draft at all three Roosters brewpubs. As always, cheers! CW

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football free game boards for prizes MNF DEC 17 NEW ORLEANS @ CAROLINA

@ 6:15 PM

NEW YEARS EVE NO COVER!

CELEBRATE THE OLD & THE NEW W/ DJ BAD BOY BRIAN’S NYE BLACKOUT PARTY CHAMPAGNE TOAST AT MIDNIGHT DRESS TO IMPRESS

165 E 200 S SLC 801.746.3334

LIZZI BROSSEAU

n his website, Tom Brosseau touts himself as a “Highplainsman Troubadour.” But you’ll find nary a drop of hipster deceit in that descriptor. Born in Grand Forks, N.D., the 42-year-old grew up surrounded by music. His great-grandfather started a popular Peace Garden State band, Buck and the Buccaneers, which his grandparents and great-uncles performed in for decades. Across more than 10 of his own albums, Brosseau has paid particular attention to the memories and dreams that surround him, combining an astute writer’s eye with a pure high tenor voice and a tender fingerpicking guitar style to become an icon in Americana circles. Revered back in his home state and celebrated around Los Angeles, where he lived and worked for 15 years with star bluegrass musicians like Chris Thile and Sean Watkins, Brosseau goes mostly incognito in his current Utah home. He moved here in 2016 with his wife, Lizzi, who grew up in Salt Lake City; their daughter, Johanna, arrived a year later. Although he toured the West Coast a little over the summer, Brousseau says he’s cherished the quietude his new family has allowed him. His only local performances have come at what he calls “old folks’ homes”—The Wentworth at Parklane in the Avenues and Sagewood at Daybreak in South Jordan. “Every once in a while, you have to regenerate by not going out on the road,” he says. “I’ve mostly just been a stay-at-home parent this past year—and when I have a few hours in the evening or early in the morning, I’ve been working on two new projects.” Those projects span both ends of Brosseau’s far-reaching interests. One is a deep dive into the catalog of gospel legends the Carter Family, while the other is a solo album of original material informed by years spent exploring the idea of home, place and belonging. “One has fueled the other in a way,” Brosseau says. “I’m a compulsive listener, and since the Carter Family recorded more than 300 songs, that well is boundless.” Working with his long-time collaborator Sean Watkins—former member of Nickel Creek, brother to Americana superstar Sara, and organizer of Los Angeles’ popular Watkins Family Hour— Brosseau has patiently mined obscurities from the main branch of the Carter Family, along with the lesser-known work of Joe and Janette Carter, who resisted the urge to move to Nashville with A.P., Sara and Maybelle and instead stayed home in Maces Spring, Va., to run the family store. “You can wade in the shallow area of the Carter Family for only so long before you want to go into the deep end,” Brosseau laughs. “I’m not so much learning the songs as learning the story behind the songs: who wrote them, who’s singing them, where they were recorded. The deeper I’ve gone, the more it’s helped me wrap my head around my own writing.” Brosseau’s forthcoming solo record comes on the heels of his North Dakota trilogy, three albums released between 2014 and 2016 that visit “life from a local perspective, taking the listener on a journey that doesn’t clip along uniformly on the same interstate but treads at its own pace on a rural route.” But Brosseau believes his new work, which he’s cultivating in conjunction with

Tom Brosseau Minnesota upright bass player Gabriel Burkum, comes close to transcending his trademark specificity. Referencing the Netflix series Maniac and its creation of an alternate 1980s universe, he says, “Maybe I’ve thought about one location for so long now that I’ve pushed the identity out of it. It’s become mythical—total myth. I’m writing and singing about traveling, and there’s no point to any of it. It’s a quick little peek through the window of a scene. It’s man versus nature. It’s almost like science fiction. I don’t think it’s good or bad, but I wonder how I got here.” Musings like these endear Brosseau to listeners looking for a modern take on America’s great folk tradition. He doesn’t wear old-timey clothes or sport a lumberjack beard; he loves playing old guitars but insists on owning just one at a time: “As much as I have a fever for getting a guitar, I have the same fever for eventually letting it go.” Instead, it’s his thoughtfulness, his love of adventure and his ability to converse with you like you’re the only person on the planet that makes Tom Brosseau feel like a throwback to an earlier era. “It’s a healthy thing to go back, because you’re paying attention to history,” he says. “There’s a lot you can learn from that.” Sure, he offers lovingly hand-penciled lyric sheets as gifts. Yes, he prefers house shows to club dates. But at the end of the day, his unabashed passion for music and storytelling are impossible to ignore. Some have even called it naiveté—the Chicago Tribune once said, “With a voice so high and pure, [Brosseau] can’t help but sound like a lost innocent being led off to the gallows”—but in our cynical world, we could use a little more of Brosseau’s brand of curiosity and amazement. To wit: While patiently working on finishing his two current projects, he’s slowly soaking up a 1952 Smithsonian Folkways album of Mormon folk songs. He recounts the Latter-day Saint story about the miracle of the gulls with eyes wide in wonderment, then relates a classic Ole and Lena joke from his Upper Midwest childhood. Yes, he’s a Highplainsman Troubadour, albeit one on respite from the road. But as he reflects on the lessons he’s learned as a touring musician, the fire in his eye is evident. “If it were up to me, I’d play a show every day,” he says. “It’s such a thrill. I love music so much. But music is such a small part of it. Really, I love people so much. What compels me to keep going is the place I’ve never been or the people I don’t know. There’s something neat about that. It’s like a great adventure story, and I’m always up for an adventure.” CW

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 31

THURSDAY 12/13 Thom Yorke, Oliver Coates

As the frontman of Radiohead and a solo artist, Thom Yorke is a master of the sleeper song. Almost all of his music is at first opaque and inaccessible, but gradually draws you in with its depth of emotional and instrumental complexity. At this point, he’s almost universally hailed as a generational songwriting talent with an astonishingly fine ear for melodies and a singing voice that fluidly slips from a lilting, delicate falsetto to a hair-raisingly powerful human instrument. All of that said, Yorke can be a terrible pain in the ass. He’s a contrarian who refuses to let music move in obvious directions—or let chord progressions resolve in the expected-but-satisfying manner of pop music. In concert, he typically withholds Radiohead’s biggest hit, “Creep,” just because, and in interviews he’s expressed boredom with the very concept of melody. Sigh. Thankfully, he gets his experimental fill by working on such projects as Suspiria, the soundtrack to Luca Guadagnino’s 2018 remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 horror classic. Yorke reportedly composed the soundtrack at least partly due to jealousy of Radiohead bandmate Jonny Greenwood, who has established himself as a prodigious film-scoring talent in his own right (see There Will Be Blood). Petty motivations aside, the album includes piano ballads “Unmade” and “Suspirium,” both of which would work as Radiohead songs, as well as more abstract electronic compositions and straight walls of static. As usual, Yorke’s latest work is dense and brainy—but it will probably grow on us. (Howard Hardee) The Union Event Center, 235 N. 500 West, 7:30 p.m., $55, all ages, theunioneventcenter.com

The Devon Allman Project with Duane Betts

Bound by a common heritage as offshoots of the Allman Brothers autocracy, Devon Allman and Duane Betts could be considered cousins. Allman is the son of the late, great Gregg Allman, and like his dad, he melds Southern blues tradition with a unique personal perspective. With a career that spans two decades as part of ensembles—Honeytribe, the Royal Southern Brotherhood and this conglomeration, otherwise known as the Allman Betts Band—he’s achieved prominence by working with Jack Bruce, Reese Wynans, Luther Dickinson and Samantha Fish. Betts, son of Allman Brothers guitarist Dickey Betts, also carries the name of Devon’s uncle, legendary guitarist Duane Allman, who died far too young in 1971. Naturally, that legacy weighs heavily on both men’s efforts, but the fact that they’ve joined forces on the cusp of the Allman Brothers’ 50th anniversary suggests they’re eager to embrace it regardless. That’s a fairly high bar, but if anyone’s qualified to tackle

Devon Allman and Duane Betts

KAELAN BAROWSKY

32 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT

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BY NAOMI CLEGG, HOWARD HARDEE, NICK McGREGOR & LEE ZIMMERMAN

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LIVE

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

Thom Yorke it, who better than the collective kin? On the other hand, it’s never easy trying to follow in a father’s footsteps—just ask Julian Lennon, A.J. Croce, Teddy Thompson or any of the Wainwright brood. Don’t tie these two to the whipping post just yet, though—they’re putting in a damn fine effort trying. (Lee Zimmerman) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $30, 21+, thestateroom.com

SATURDAY 12/15

Emma Ruth Rundle, Jaye Jayle

Emma Ruth Rundle’s newest solo album, On Dark Horses, feels like the culmination of her varied career. Where her first two solo releases (Electric Guitar One, Some Heavy Ocean) were instrumentally sparse and ephemeral, On Dark Horses sees Rundle leaning into the full-band instrumentation sparingly introduced on 2016’s Marked for Death. It feels like the post-rock heft and rich guitar tones honed during her time with Red Sparowes and Marriages have now fully fused with the folksy singer-songwriter inclinations of her early solo work. The result is a lush, engrossing instrumental landscape packed with dense, textured guitar perfectly suited to frame the singer’s emotive, powerful voice. In an interview with Invisible Oranges, Rundle described the experience of working with other musicians: “I feel like having another guitarist and having a full band and getting to practice all together before we went into the studio really made a difference.” Although the album is performed with a full band, Rundle retreated to the desert to write, resulting in songs that mine the artist’s personal struggles with love and loss. In “Darkhorse,” two weary travelers ride through the desert night. But while Rundle explores ideas of helplessness and defeat, her vocals build until she becomes a towering presence, releasing the artist—and audience—from the clutches of despair. “In the wake of strange beginnings, we can still stand high,” she proclaims. Rundle released a split EP in 2017 with Jaye Jayle, an experimental, dark Americana project fronted by Rundle’s husband, Evan Patterson; the band joins Rundle on tour, with some members performing double duty as her backing band. (Naomi Clegg) Kilby Court, 748 W. Kilby Court, 8 p.m., $13, all ages, kilbycourt.com

This season, give our best to yours.

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 33

LIVE

TUES, DEC 18TH

SUNDAY 12/16

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34 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

ELIOT LEE HAZEL

DAVE MCCORMICK Generation Axe

PIPERDOWNPUB.COM

Friday, Dec. 14th LHAW

W/ SAVING SYDNEY, HI-FI MURDER & MY NEW MISTRESS

Every Saturday $10 WAGYU STEAK DINNER

kitchen open until midnight

Hail the conquering gods. Axe enthusiasts, get ready to be wowed. Air guitarists, prepare to pose. Everyone else, put in your earplugs and witness what might be the most awesome gathering of strum lords ever assembled. Five extraordinary masters put egos in check, share the same stage and let loose with combined sonic fury. The roll call reads as follows: Steve Vai, Grammy-winning shredder and collaborator of Frank Zappa, Whitesnake, David Lee Roth and Alcatrazz; Zakk Wylde, Ozzy Osbourne’s frenetic foil, chairman of the Black Label Society and a metal madman in the most celebratory sense; Yngwie Malmsteen, an ’80s icon still widely respected for his neoclassical blend of sonics and symphony; Nuno Bettencourt, axeman for Extreme, who topped the charts in the ’80s with a blend of bluster and balladry; and Tosin Abasi, a NigerianAmerican virtuoso whose band Animals as Leaders is considered a potent up-and-coming ensemble. It should be interesting to see who steals the spotlight and upstages the others, but we assume these guitar gods will play nice and cede their solos accordingly. Likewise, barring a Yardbirds reunion featuring Clapton, Beck and Page, a guitar summit of this sort might never happen again. Consider Generation Axe the go-to group when relentless riffing is called for. (LZ) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $34.50, all ages, thecomplexslc.com

John Legend 7 EAST 4800 S. (1 BLOCK WEST OF STATE ST.) MURRAY 801-266-2127 • OPEN 11AM WEEKDAYS - 10 AM WEEKENDS

John Legend’s life appears as charmed as his name. He’s the first African-American man to ever win an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar

John Legend

and a Tony. He’s released chart-topping, soul-shaking work as a solo artist while keeping up his string of in-demand collaborations. He’s made countless film, television, stage and commercial appearances. He’s agitated for AIDS research, sustainable development, education reform, women’s justice and civil rights. Essentially, Legend has transformed himself from a little-known balladeer into one of America’s true Renaissance men—a soulful, streetwise Most Interesting Man in the World to whose success men can aspire and for whose charms ladies can swoon. To top it all off, in 2013, Legend married supermodel Chrissy Teigen in a tabloid-ready ceremony in Italy’s star-studded Lake District (the couple now has two children together, furthering their brilliant and beautiful lineage). John Legend is so popular, in fact, that he’s translated his overwhelming success into that most epic of mainstream events: a Christmas tour. His A Legendary Christmas show comes on the heels of a Christmas album and appearances at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Center tree lighting—heck, he and Teigen even hosted their own Christmas-themed TV special, complete with star-studded cameos and a good oldfashioned food fight. At the Madison Square Garden stop of his Christmas tour last week, Legend made it clear the power he holds over his fans: “If you’re here with someone you love, I want you to tell them you love them,” he said. “And if you’re not here with someone you love, look around and see who else is single—my music has been known to be an aphrodisiac.” (Nick McGregor) Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 8 p.m., $74-$499, all ages, artsaltlake.org

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31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 35

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36 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

WEDNESDAY 12/19

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JACQUELINE LEANNA

Fiesta De Cumbia Te Trae feat. Dave Nada, Tittsworth, DJ Drew, Fuego Skilz, J Style, Jesus de la Calle, Leemont

THURSDAY 12/13 LIVE MUSIC

The Devon Allman Project + Duane Betts (The State Room) see p. 32 J-Rad Cooley (Lighthouse Lounge) A Kurt Bestor Christmas (Eccles Theatre) Michael Dallin (Hog Wallow Pub) Perfectamundo (Gracie’s) Queenadilla + Fired Pilot + The Djinn (Velour) Reggae at the Royal feat. Hirie + Thrive + Soulwise + Makisi (The Royal) Secondhand Serenade + Katie Ainge (The Complex) Simply B (Garage on Beck) Thom Yorke + Oliver Coates (The Union Event Center) see p. 32 Tropicana Thursdays feat. Rumba Libre (Liquid Joe’s) Vinnie Cassius + Adam Banx + Broke Boi$ + Rhymetek (Kilby Court)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos: Jules & Jordan (Tavernacle) Dueling Pianos (The Spur)

One Night in Cuba feat. DJ Tracy + DJ La Clave (Urban Lounge) Re:Fine (Downstairs) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Morgan Page (Sky)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 12/14 LIVE MUSIC

2018 All-Star Christmas Special (Velour) Backwash (Garage On Beck) Bill n’ Diane (Harp and Hound) Christmas Jam (The Commonwealth Room) Colt. 46 (Outlaw Saloon) Coverdogs (The Spur) The Great Silence + Voidsmen + Founders of Ruin (The Underground) Hoofless + Light Green Funz + Ghost

NEW HIMALAYAN PUB FUSION SMALL PLATES MENU

Raised in Maryland between Washington, D.C., and Baltimore, Dave Nada (pictured) grew up just like many Americans. He lived with parents who moved from Ecuador to the U.S. to make a home. He had hobbies. He grew up and went to college. From there, things seemed to veer from what you might call normal. As a teenager at the University of Maryland, he fell into the hardcore punk scene and joined a few bands. Eventually, he got into college radio, where he partnered with another big name in the music industry: Peter Rosenberg, DJ, pro wrestler and TV show host. Between attending classes, playing in a band and spinning records, Dave found time to experiment with music, which eventually led him to spawn his own genre, moombahton. “The simplest way to describe it is reggaeton’s weird little cousin,” Nada says. “I never expected that it would blow up the way it did. Just seeing how it has changed and permeated into other scenes and sounds—you can hear it in mainstream music, commercial pop music, techno music and in the underground—I’ve always appreciated the love people have for this music.” If you’re new to moombahton, like most people, you’re in luck: the Fiesta De Cumbia Te Trae brings together national names Nada and Tittsworth, with support from Utah stalwarts Jesus de la Calle, Fuego Skilz, J Style and Leemont. Bring an open mind and your dancing shoes! (Keith L. McDonald) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $10 presale; $15 day of show, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

Aquarium (Diabolical Records) Lhaw + Saving Sydney + Hi-Fi Murder + My New Mistress (Ice Haüs) Matt Calder (Lake Effect) The Marias (The State Room) Matthew & The Hope (Lighthouse Lounge) Michelle Moonshine (HandleBar) Nathan Spenser Revue (Park City Mountain) Nothing, Nowhere (In The Venue) The Oak Ridge Boys (Dejoria Center) Phutureprimitive + Handz + Vicious (Urban Lounge) Sammy Brue Trio + Branson Anderson (Heavy Metal Shop) Skating Polly + Potty Mouth + Spo + DJ Fish (Kilby Court) Swantourage (Gracie’s) Timeless (Club 90) Ugly Sweater Party feat. Crook and The Bluff (Hog Wallow Pub) Wild Country (The Westerner)

DJ Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) DJ Godina (Gracie’s) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Jason (The Royal) Dueling Pianos feat. Drew & Jordan & Dave (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) New Wave ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) A Night Hosted By T-Pain (Sky) Retro Riot Dance Party w/ DJ Jason Lowe (The Royal) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

2018 All-Star Christmas Special (Velour) 2nd Annual KeepItLitmas (The Loading Dock) Chad & Kristo (Park City Mountain) Colt. 46 (Outlaw Saloon)

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) DJ Brisk (Downstairs)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Kevin (Area 51) Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 12/15 LIVE MUSIC

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP VINYL RECORDS NEW & USED CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment

KARAOKE THAT DOESN’T SUCK EVERY THURSDAY W/ MIKEY DANGER

DANCE MUSIC ON FRIDAY & SATURDAY

SAT & SUN BRUNCH 11AM TO 3PM

CHAKRALOUNGE.NET OPEN NIGHTLY 364 S STATE ST. SALT LAKE CITY 5 PM - 1 AM

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DJ Drewbacca’s Ugly Sweater Party @ 9:00 pm.

FRIDAY:

DJ Sam I Am @ 9:00 pm.

SATURDAY:

DJ Soul Pause @ 9:00 pm.

SUNDAY:

Sleep in! Brunch served ALL DAY!! Breaking Bingo @ 9:00 Pot $750

MONDAY:

Micro Brew Pint Special Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00!

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VJ Birdman on the Big Screen @ 10:00pm

32 EXCHANGE PLACE • 801-322-3200

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THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL LOS ANGELES @ KANSAS CITY 6:20PM LIVE LATIN JAZZ,SALSA, BACHATA WITH PERFECTAMUNDO PLAYING AFTER THE GAME AT 10PM

WED

THURS

SATURDAY BRUNCH 10AM - 3PM NFL SATURDAY DJ CHASEONE2 10PM

SUNDAY BRUNCH 1 0-3 NFL SUNDAY TICKET SUNDAY NIGHT BLUES JAM WITH NICK GRECO AND BLUES ON FIRST AFTER THE GAMES AT 10PM

GOING

FRI

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$3 Miller Lite & Bud Light Imperial Pints Sunday & Monday

*Dine-In Only

OPEN 365 DAYS A YEAR

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun • graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 37

Enjoy APPY HOUR 1/2 off appetizers every day 3pm-5pm & 10pm-midnight.

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EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT TUESDAY NIGHT BLUEGRASS JAM WITH GUEST HOSTS MATTHEW AND THE HOPE PLAYING 7PM-10PM

GOING

MON

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL NEW ORLEANS @ CAROLINA MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ AFTER THE GAME AT 9:30PM

GOING

RADIO RETROGRADE 6PM-9PM FUNKY FRIDAY WITH DJ GODINA 10PM

GOING

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AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

DECEMBER

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38 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

TINTIKI AT TINWELL BAR

SCUBA CHUCK

BAR FLY

Where’s a Floridian to go on the coldest day of the year? As a relatively new Utah resident, I’ve come to terms with winter. Snow’s no problem, and navigating icy patches can strangely be fun. But temperatures that hover in the mid-20s all afternoon—even on a gloriously sunny day—might be a bridge too far. Which is how I ended up at TinTiki, Tinwell Bar’s Caribbean-influenced upstairs hideaway, last Tuesday night. A Phlebotomist hand-crafted by the friendly bartender quickly warmed up my insides: the dark Jamaican rum, blood orange, grenadine and absinthe sent me into fits of tropical reverie. The soft-strummed bossa nova on the radio certainly helped, as did the cozy couches. On the east wall, palm-frond wallpaper provides a pleasing view; classic botanical and anatomical prints line the west wall, with maps of rum capitals like Santo Domingo interspersed in between. By my wintertime calculations, the sun wasn’t scheduled to rise for a full 13 hours, and my body shivered thinking about the projected low of 18 degrees for the night. But the raucous conversations and belly laughs of my fellow TinTiki patrons brought me right back to a place of inner peace. The heat pumped (being upstairs certainly helps), the tropicalia continued, and I ordered another off-menu drink. The bartender asked if I liked ginger—I love ginger—and whipped up a blue concoction that, he warned me, tasted better than it looked. Dabbing the sweat off his forehead after he handed it over, I realized that, even on the coldest Utah day, an endless summer could be a reality. (Nick McGregor) 837 S. Main, 801-953-1769, tinwellbar.com

Controversy (Lighthouse Lounge) Dead Cowboys (Umbrella Bar) Emma Ruth Rundle + Jaye Jayle (Kilby Court) see p. 32 Entwood (Hog Wallow Pub) Jingle Jam Christmas Sing-Along and Toy Drive (Garage on Beck) Muddpuddle (The Spur) Ol’ Fashion Depot (Gracie’s) Paradise Indigo + Cotes + Blkhrtkngs + Hvrry + Noxsoul + Parker Bray (Gold Blood Collective) Paul Zuniga (HandleBar) Riding Gravity (The Union Tavern) Scott Rogers (Harp and Hound) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Stonefed + You Topple Over (The State Room) Sydnie Keddington + Morgan Whitney (Lake Effect) Timeless (Club 90) Wild Country (The Westerner) Will Baxter Band (The Yes Hell) Zion Riot (Brewskis)

SUNDAY 12/16

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

DJ Brisk (Bourbon House) DJ Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Mr. Ramirez (Lake Effect) DJ Scooter (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos feat. Troy & Drew & JC (Tavernacle) Gothic + Industrial + Dark ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Sky Saturdays w/ Santacon feat. DJ Crooked (Sky) Top 40+ EDM + Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke DJ Kevin (Area 51) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-rad (Club 90)

LIVE MUSIC

Better off with the Blues (Garage on Beck) Doyle (Liquid Joe’s) Generation Axe feat. Steve Vai + Zakk Wylde + Yngwie Malmsteen + Nuno Bettencourt + Tosin Abasi (The Complex) see p. 34 Harry Hudson (Kilby Court) John Legend (Abravanel Hall) see p. 34 Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Lumberjack Fabulous (Park City Mountain) Patrick Ryan (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Sunday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Nick Greco and Blues on First (Gracie’s)

KARAOKE

MONDAY 12/17 LIVE MUSIC

Amanda Johnson (The Spur) Catbamboo (The Loading Dock) The Home Team + Rejoin the Team + Heavy Pulp (Kilby Court) Mitch Olsen Trio (Lake Effect) Red Bennies + Falchion B + Doubtwalk + Wey (Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Open Jazz (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Open Mic (The Cabin)

12.13 MICHAEL DALLIN

12.14 UGLY SWEATER PARTY WITH CROOK AND THE BLUFF

12.18 MEANDER CAT

12.21 SCOUNDRELS

12.17 OPEN BLUES & MORE JAM

12.15 ENTWOOD

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S P IR ITS . FO OD . LOCAL B EER

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 39

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD ROAD 801.733.5567 | THEHOGWALLOW.COM

Happy Hour Thurs - Fri • 4 - 6 pm Free appetizers with purchase

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TUESDAY 12/18 4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu nfl football

nfl jersey giveaways every sunday monday & thursday great food & drink specials

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KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 12/12

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 Live Music Thursday 12/13

hirie

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40 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

CONCERTS & CLUBS

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

THRIVE, SOULWISE, MAKISI friDAY 12/14

Live Music

retro riot dance party WITH DJ JASON LOwe '80S & '90S THEME NIGHT SATURDAY 12/15

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Burlesque and The Blues (Prohibition) Locals Lounge (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Royal) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Tuesday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Matthew & The Hope (Gracie’s)

WEDNESDAY 12/19 LIVE MUSIC

Caleb Gray (The Spur) Dylan Roe (Gracie’s) Fiesta Live Jazz (Club 90) Lord Vox + Ani Christ + Mortigi Tempo (Metro Music Hall) Michelle Moonshine + Jay Lawrence

Quartet (Lake Effect) Outlier feat. In Your Grave (The Rad Shack) Simply B (Hog Wallow Pub) Tom Young Sextet (Gallivan Center) Totem City + Cera Gibson + The Gontiks + Zeek (Kilby Court) Wise w/ Jinx (Gold Blood Collective)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Energi Wednesdays feat. Smookie Illson (Sky) Fiesta De Cumbia Te Trae feat. Dave Nada + Tittsworth + DJ Drew + Fuego Skilz + J Style + Jesus De La Calle + Leemont (Urban Lounge) see p. 36 Industry Night (Downstairs) Open Mic (Velour) Roaring Wednesdays: Swing Dance Lessons (Prohibition) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

CINEMA We sell tickets!

Dames of Thrones

Power collides with gender in the acidic The Favourite.

magic sword $

Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone in The Favourite and Weisz as “supporting actresses,” they’re practically equal sides of a triangle. Colman gives Queen Anne an almost tragic quality, from the rabbits the childless monarch keeps as reminders of her many miscarriages, to her obliviousness to the matters of state she leaves to Sarah. Weisz’s over-confidence in her special relationship with Anne—which becomes even more complicated with one particular revelation—hardens into daggers of dialogue when she sees that relationship threatened, while Stone broadens her range with a wonderfully devious villain role. The undercurrent to all three of The Favourite’s main characters’ actions is that they are women attempting to wield power at a time when men can barely disguise their contempt that they have to bow to a woman. Lanthimos and the screenwriters keep the threat of sexual violence hovering forever in the background—or sometimes the foreground—while the c-word emerges as the epithet of choice on multiple occasions. Most significantly, uncomfortable gender dynamics emerge even at a moment when Abigail seems to have triumphed and gotten exactly what she wants. In the world of The Favourite, a woman might seem to be rising to a position of strength, but she’ll always be reminded that the place she’s expected to be is on her knees. CW

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| CITY WEEKLY |

TRY THESE

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) Glenn Close John Malkovich R

Dogtooth (2009) Christos Stergioglou Michele Valley NR

The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017) Colin Farrell Barry Keoghan R

mon, 02/11 | the depot

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 41

All About Eve (1950) Bette Davis Anne Baxter NR

THE FAVOURITE

BBB.5 Olivia Colman Rachel Weisz Emma Stone R

goth dad

hen can it be said that someone truly has power? That’s a fraught realworld question in this year of our Lord 2018, as we watch the capricious use of power play out in tweets and news conferences, but it’s always a fascinating question for artists to explore. Do the people who seem to have power actually have it, or are the strings being pulled on a more invisible level? And even then, are those invisible string-pullers as powerful as they believe themselves to be? The Favourite—from Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos (Dogtooth, The Killing of a Sacred Deer) and screenwriters Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara—digs into that notion by way of an intriguing footnote from 18thcentury English history. Circa 1709-ish—the screenplay conflates the timeline for dramatic expediency—Queen Anne (Olivia Colman) reigns, yet much of the decision-making actually resides with her primary attendant and confidant, Sarah, the Duchess of Marlborough (Rachel Weisz). That dynamic, however, threatens to shift with the arrival of Abigail Hill (Emma Stone), Sarah’s cousin, who has been forced to seek employment as a result of her father’s financial ruin. Abigail sees an opportunity to insinuate herself into the queen’s

favor, but Sarah isn’t going to surrender her place as Her Majesty’s favorite without a fight. The screenplay intertwines this battle of wills with the key political issue of the era, as the noble-representing Tories led by Lord Harley (Nicholas Hoult) attempt to persuade the queen to end England’s costly participation in the War of the Spanish Succession, while Sarah—whose husband leads the English army—pushes to continue. But while the specifics of that event might suggest a dizzying array of historical facts and figures, The Favourite is more concerned with the bigpicture notion that power plays are taking place everywhere at court. As soon as Abigail arrives, other house servants are putting her in her place with cruel jokes; Harley attempts to turn Abigail into an ally who can whisper his positions into the queen’s ear. There’s never a moment when The Favourite isn’t emphasizing who has the upper hand in any given interaction, and who’s trying to get it. It would have been easy for all of this to play out as a sterile exercise in palace intrigue, where the opulent sets and costumes do the heavy lifting to suggest prestige drama. Lanthimos, however, repeatedly undermines the expectations for the way this kind of story will look and sound. Cinematographer Robbie Ryan employs wide-angle and fisheye lenses to turn scenes into distorted funhouse mirrors, or trap characters in miniature against the extravagant backgrounds. And while the score occasionally makes use of the plinking harpsichord you’d expect to hear when seeing men in powdered wigs and powdered faces, there’s also the almost metronomic sawing of a single note on strings, creating an ominous pulse that makes The Favourite feel more like the horror movie it kind of is. Three terrific central performances anchor it all—and, despite the category-fraud nonsense of the distributor pushing Stone

upcoming shows

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42 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

CINEMA CLIPS MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEKFilm release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net

ANNA AND THE APOCALYPSE B A zombie comedy set at Christmastime—and it’s a musical? Awesome! Except it isn’t very good: not scary, not funny and pretty amateurish. High-schooler Anna (Ella Hunt) is coping with an array of the usual teen angst—nobody understands her, etc.—amid an outbreak of the walking undead in her small British town. Her adventures are clearly meant to evoke Shaun of the Dead, but there’s no greater metaphor for human existence at play in the brainseating end-of-the-world, and no entertaining irony to be found. The characters are one-note, and there’s barely even a story, just a lot of things happening one after another. The whole shebang, including the mostly blah songs, trundles along on one flat emotional level, with no rise and fall to whatever feeling it’s trying to arouse; it never earns any of its would-be sentiment. Worst of all, Anna is pure cipher, a feminine “mystery” created by male filmmakers. Why is she attracted to absolute asshole Nick (Ben Wiggins) while her best friend, “nice guy” John (Malcolm Cumming), must wallow in unappreciated worship of her? Just: No. Opens Dec. 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson THE FAVOURITE BBB.5 See review on p. 41. Opens Dec. 14 at theaters valleywide. (R) MORTAL ENGINES [not yet reviewed] Adaptation of the fantasy novel about a rebellion against a predatory mobile city. Opens Dec. 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

THE MULE [not yet reviewed] A 90-year-old man (Clint Eastwood) transports cocaine for a Mexican cartel. Opens Dec. 14 at theaters valleywide. (R) ONCE UPON A DEADPOOL [not reviewed] Re-edited-for-a-PG-13-rating version of Deadpool 2—you know, for kids! Opens Dec. 12 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) ROMA BBB Here’s the thing about Alfonso Cuarón: For all his obvious skills as a filmmaker, I can always see him working. Here he takes on a personal, semi-autobiographical subject, set in the Roma neighborhood of Mexico City circa 1970. A housemaid named Cleo (Yalitza Aparicio) from a rural indigenous town experiences personal upheaval, just as her employer, Sra. Sofía (Marina de Tavira) tries to hold her family together after her husband leaves her for another woman. Cuarón delivers plenty of arresting images from the outset—captured in his own lush black-and-white cinematography—and crafts his narrative into a compelling study of the intersection between class and gender with his two abandoned female central characters. He’s also clearly fascinated with re-creating the minutia of this moment from his own childhood, even if that means it’s not easy to understand which side is which in the violent political upheaval of its setting. It goes without saying that Cuarón includes a technically impressive long take or two, and perhaps therein lies the main thing that keeps me from loving his movies: I can see where he’s trying to impress me, more than feel where he’s trying to move me. Opens Dec. 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDERVERSE BBB.5 In an ideal world, everyone who makes animated features would

watch this and realize how much more creativity is possible, and everyone who makes superhero movies would watch this and realize how much more creativity is possible. It’s the tale of Miles Morales (Shameik Moore), a middle-schooler who gains his own unique spin on the Spider-Man powers, then gets thrown into a battle with Kingpin (Liev Schreiber) as the criminal boss tries to open a doorway into alternate universes. That doorway introduces Miles to several other Spider-heroes, including Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld), an alternate Peter Parker (Jake Johnson), and a fedora-clad Spider-Man Noir (Nicolas Cage), and the weird makeshift team offers plenty of opportunity for knowing humor, along with riffs on the history of the Spider-Man movies. But co-directors Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey and Rodney Rothman go wonderfully nuts with their visual interpretation of this world, employing panels, text boxes and smash cuts in a love letter to the unique form of comic-book storytelling. It’s a frisky, dazzling movie that operates on the foundation of solid character work—and it’s enough to make you forgive yet another Spider-Man origin story. Opens Dec. 14 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—SR VOX LUX BBBB Unsettling, ironic, bitter, and a little bit mysterious: Writerdirector Brady Corbet’s second feature is either a scathing satire on celebrity, American violence and the dismaying symbiotic intersection of the two, or a gloss on the constant cultural churn from innocence—in an art form, here pop music; in a technology, here how pop music gets to our ears—to decadence. When she was a teen, in 1999, Celeste (Raffey Cassidy) endured a tragedy and transformed her pain into a lovely, gentle anthem of suffering and survival that touched the nation and launched her career as a pop star. In 2017, Celeste (Natalie Portman, unforgettably rageful) is attempting a comeback after more disaster in her life. But her childhood charm is now the spikiness of a burnt-out cynic. Vox Lux’s two segments almost feel like two different movies—1999’s soft, 2017’s harsh. Corbet’s

preference for jagged heightened reality, sometimes to the point of stiltedness (there’s a documentary-style narrator) is a challenge to our empathy. Which is kind of the point: His movie is itself part of the pop culture he wants us to reconsider. Opens Dec. 14 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—MAJ

SPECIAL SCREENINGS CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? At Park City Film Series, Dec. 14-15, 8 p.m.; Dec. 16, 6 p.m. (R) THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC At Tower Theatre, Dec. 17, 7 p.m. (NR) SCIENCE FAIR At Main Library, Dec. 18, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

CREED II BBB Here’s an attempt to evoke nearly all 40 years of the Rocky saga, and somehow it mostly works. Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan) faces the challenge in both his head and in the ring of fighting Viktor Drago (Florian Munteanu)—son of Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren), who was responsible for the death of Adonis’ father, Apollo, during a fight. The script—cowritten by Sylvester Stallone, who of course returns as Rocky Balboa—tries to keep a lot of balls in the air, including Adonis’ relationship with Bianca (Tessa Thompson). But while director Steven Caple Jr. lacks the prowling dynamism of Creed’s Ryan Coogler behind the camera, there’s a solid emotional core of people trying to make peace with the legacy of the past. The strong performances by Jordan and Stallone make this a nostalgia trip that’s also interested in moving forward. (PG-13)—SR

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 43

ÂŠ 2018

LITERARY CIRCLES

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Morning or night lead-in 2. Pitching stat 3. Some holiday greenery

49. Lasting reminder 51. Paul Simon's "Me and ____ Down by the Schoolyard" 52. Madison Sq. Garden player 53. Dull drills 54. Against a thing, legally 55. Justin Timberlake's original group 57. Fancy neckwear 60. Workbench gripper 62. That, in Tijuana 63. Prompt 64. Good listener? 65. GPS part: Abbr.

Last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

4. Milo of "The Verdict" 5. Bygone bomber whose name is a call in bingo 6. Symbol of wisdom 7. "You there?" 8. Tailor again, as a skirt 9. Stem the flow of 10. Extra product 11. Ivy League sch. in Philly 12. Web site? 13. Like old, neglected sweaters, maybe 18. Archaeologist played by Harrison Ford, informally 19. Diego Rivera portrayer in the 2002 film "Frida" 23. Wolfgang Puck restaurant 24. Republican-turned-Democrat U.S. senator Specter 25. 11-year old, e.g. 26. Really went for 29. Fumble 32. "Don't mind ____!" 34. "Later!" 35. Scrawny one 37. Like singing in a shower 38. Recipient of Jesus' healing 39. Emmy-winning Susan Lucci role 41. It's often found in a bed 42. "____ goes it?" 47. Split with an ax

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. "Didn't you get the ____?" 5. Nobel-winning father-and-son physicists 10. "Where America's Day Begins" 14. It's often brown or blue 15. Message to one's followers 16. Until 17. Detective novelist in the same 61-Across as a children's author? 20. Nashville's home: Abbr. 21. TV host who won a Mark Twain Prize for American Humor 22. Bethesda-based research agcy. 23. Light lunch choice 25. Spy fiction author in the same 61-Across as a novelist who depicts the Chinese-American experience? 27. Not post28. Tree whose name sounds like a letter of the alphabet 30. Successful turn in the game Battleship 31. Harmonizers with soprani and bassi 33. Civil War fighters 36. NFL Hall-of-Fame coach Greasy 40. Poet of the Middle Ages in the same 61-Across as a popular western dime novelist? 43. Longtime NBC newsman Roger 44. He was emperor at 16, dead at 30 45. Big ____, nickname of baseball's David Ortiz 46. Microsoft Word creation, briefly 48. Remarks around cute babies 50. Bench press target, for short 51. Fantasy writer in the same 61-Across as a horror novelist? 56. Frank who directed "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" 58. Cry with one card in hand 59. Poetic nights 60. Bouquet holder 61. Where writers often intermingle ... or this puzzle's theme 66. Finishes, as a cake 67. Planet between Mercury and Earth 68. Neutrogena competitor 69. "Your point being ...?" 70. Show host 71. Smears, as a reputation

SUDOKU

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY |

44 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” Author John Green asked that question. I confess that I’m not entirely comfortable with it. It’s a bit pushy. I find I’m more likely to do remarkable things if I’m not trying too hard to do remarkable things. Nevertheless, I offer it as one of your key themes for 2019. I suspect you will be so naturally inclined to do remarkable things that you won’t feel pressure to do so. Here’s my only advice: Up the ante on your desire to be fully yourself; dream up new ways to give your most important gifts; explore all the possibilities of how you can express your soul’s code with vigor and rigor.

through. Keep on cleansing yourself and shedding the unwanted influence beyond the time you’re sure you’re free of it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the fairy tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the heroine rejects both the options that are too puny and too excessive. She wisely decides that just enough is exactly right. I think she’s a good role model for you. After your time of feeling somewhat deprived, it would be understandable if you were tempted to crave too much and ask for too much and grab too much. It would be understandable, yes, but mistaken. For now, just enough is exactly right.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author Elizabeth Gilbert is a soulful observer whose prose entertains and illuminates me. She’s well aware of her own limitations, however. For example, she writes, “Every few years, I think, ‘Maybe now I’m finally smart enough or sophisticated enough to understand Ulysses. So I pick it up and try it again. And by page 10, as always, I’m like, ‘What the hell?’” Gilbert is referring to the renowned 20th-century novel, James Joyce’s masterwork. She just can’t appreciate it. I propose that you make her your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Now is a favorable time to acknowledge and accept that there are certain good influences and interesting things that you will simply never be able to benefit from. And that’s OK!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1930, some British mystery writers formed a club to provide each other with artistic support and conviviality. They swore an oath to write their stories so that solving crimes happened solely through the wits of their fictional detectives, and not through “Divine Revelation, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, JiggeryPokery, or Act of God.” I understand that principle, but don’t endorse it for your use in the coming weeks. On the contrary, I hope you’ll be on the alert and receptive to Divine Revelations, Feminine Intuition, Mumbo Jumbo, Jiggery-Pokery, and Acts of God.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I can’t believe I’m going to quote pop star Selena Gomez. But according to my analysis of the current astrological omens, her simple, homespun advice could be especially helpful to you in the coming weeks. “Never look back,” she says. “If Cinderella had looked back and picked up the shoe, she would have never found her prince.” Just to be clear, Virgo, I’m not saying you’ll experience an adventure that has a plot akin to the Cinderella fairy tale. But I do expect you will benefit from a “loss” as long as you’re focused on what’s ahead of you rather than what’s behind you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Among the pieces of jewelry worn by superstar Elvis Presley were a Christian cross and a Star of David. “I don’t want to miss out on heaven due to a technicality,” he testified. In that spirit, and in accordance with astrological omens, I urge you, too, to cover all your bases in the coming weeks. Honor your important influences. Be extra nice to everyone who might have something to offer you in the future. Show your appreciation for those who have helped make you who you are. And be as open-minded and welcoming and multicultural as you can genuinely be. Your motto is “Embrace the rainbow.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you a gambling addict seeking power over your addiction? If you live in Michigan or Illinois, you can formally blacklist yourself from all casinos. Anytime your resolve wanes and you wander into a casino, you can be arrested and fined for trespassing. I invite you to consider a comparable approach as you work to free yourself from a bad habit or debilitating obsession. Enlist some help in enforcing your desire to refrain. Create an obstruction that will interfere with your ability to act on negative impulses.

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DECEMBER 13, 2018 | 45

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you’re prescribed antibiotic pills to fight off infection, you should finish the entire round. If you stop taking the meds partway through because you’re feeling better, you might enable a stronger version of the original infector to get a foothold in your system. This lesson provides an apt metaphor for a process you’re now undergoing. As you seek to purge a certain unhelpful presence in your life, you must follow through to the end. Don’t get lax halfway

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The National Center for Biotechnology Information reported on a 15-year-old boy who had the notion that he could make himself into a superhero. First, he arranged to get bitten by many spiders in the hope of acquiring the powers of Spiderman. That didn’t work. Next, he injected mercury into his skin, theorizing it might give him talents comparable to the Marvel Comics mutant character named Mercury. As you strategize to build your power and clout in 2019, Pisces, I trust you won’t resort to questionable methods like those. You won’t need to! Your intuition should steadily guide you, providing precise information on how to proceed. And it all starts now.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): More than three centuries ago, Dutch immigrants in New York ate a dessert known as the olykoek, or oily cake: sugar-sweetened dough deep-fried in pig fat. It was the forerunner of the modern doughnut. One problem with the otherwise delectable snack was that the center wasn’t always fully cooked. In 1847, a man named Hanson Gregory finally found a solution. Using a pepper shaker, he punched a hole in the middle of the dough, thus launching the shape that has endured until today. I bring this to your attention because I suspect you’re at a comparable turning point. If all goes according to cosmic plan, you will discover a key innovation that makes a pretty good thing even better.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1140, two dynasties were at war in Weinsberg, in what’s now southern Germany. Conrad III, leader of the Hohenstaufen dynasty, laid siege to the castle at Weinsberg, headquarters of the rival Welfs dynasty. Things went badly for the Welfs, and just before Conrad launched a final attack, they surrendered. With a last-minute touch of mercy, Conrad agreed to allow the women of the castle to flee in safety along with whatever possessions they could carry. The women had an ingenious response. They lifted their husbands onto their backs and hauled them away to freedom. Conrad tolerated the trick, saying he would stand by his promise. I foresee a metaphorically comparable opportunity arising for you, Aquarius. It won’t be a life-or-death situation like that of the Welfs, but it will resemble it in that your original thinking can lead you and yours to greater freedom.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Danish scientist and poet Piet Hein wrote this melancholy meditation: “Losing one glove is painful, but nothing compared to the pain of losing one, throwing away the other, and finding the first one again.” Let his words serve as a helpful warning to you, Gemini. If you lose one of your gloves, don’t immediately get rid of the second. Rather, be patient and await the eventual reappearance of the first. The same principle applies to other things that might temporarily go missing.

FANTASTIC MASSAGE

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46 | DECEMBER 13, 2018

URBAN L I V I N

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

Rent My Closet

Certainly by now, many of you have stayed at an Airbnb rental. I just checked the website, and there are more than 300 homes available in Salt Lake City, 300-plus homes with “Sports Guides” experiences in Park City, a sheep-camp trailer in Price, and homes or condos in St. George where you can stay with a “Superhost” who serves as your tour guide. Maybe you’re renting out a room right now for extra cash? I had a client who told me he was pulling in more than $65,000 per year (in cash) by renting out his house on a nightly basis, mostly to film industry people during Sundance or movie and TV shoots. And, of course, Salt Lake City and other Utah subburbs are doing virtually nothing to tax, license or monitor this budding industry. It’s amazing that this multi-billiondollar phenomenon has only been around since 2008. For me, I’d use this service over a hotel almost any day. Airbnb started when two roommates living in San Francisco couldn’t afford to pay rent and decided to turn their loft into a rentable space that could fit three air mattresses. They advertised it with the promise of free breakfast and bought the mattresses just in time for a big convention coming to town. Three people soon answered the ad, and the idea stuck. It took a few years to get together the right business model and investors, but the founders of Airbnb have laughed their way to mega millions and hospitality history. Now, there’s neighbor.com. No, you don’t get to rent a neighbor. You get to rent storage space in people’s homes, on their land, or at their offices through what people call “the Airbnb of storage.” The company is less than a year old but is making self-storage companies shake in their boots. Hell, I pay $210 a month for storage on North Temple for the crap I can’t squeeze into our home. Trolling the website made me perk up with possibilities. There’s a 5-by-5-foot basement space next to someone’s furnace in the Avenues for $29 a month, a 12-by-35foot piece of fenced-in dirt yard for $46 a month, a shed with a locked door in a backyard in Bountiful for $13 a month and a bedroom closet (not kidding) for $7 per month. If you have toys like boats, ATVs or trucks, there are plenty of listings for rental parking options over the winter. There aren’t too many insurance guarantees when renting a stranger’s closet or shed, but the prices are at least 50 percent less than storage facilities, and there’s obviously a need this company is filling—fast. n

Poets Corner Don’t waste the now,

‘cuz the past is to blame. Don’t waste the now, with the fears of the ‘morrow. Keep it lite. Seek the light. But not like the moth to the flame Alan E. Wright

Send your poem (max15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net. Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

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Wait, What? Akihiko Kondo, 35, of Tokyo, spent $18,000 on a Nov. 4 wedding ceremony to marry the love of his life, Hatsune Miku—a computer-generated hologram with big eyes and long, turquoise hair. Kondo told Reuters he found Hatsune Miku, who has thousands of fans around the world, singing on the internet. The wedding ceremony included traditions such as the exchange of rings (hers was placed on the finger of a stuffed doll created in her image) and friends and relatives in attendance, though Kondo’s parents did not attend. “I believe the shape of happiness and love is different for each person,” Kondo said. Christmas Comes Early A Bank of America ATM in Houston was the scene of a near-riot on Nov. 25 when it began dispensing $100 bills instead of $10s, reported Click2Houston. After the first lucky driver posted his score on social media, a crowd showed up and stood in line, with a few fights and arguments breaking out over about two hours, until police were summoned and the free money was shut down. Bank of America released a statement the next day that would have galled Ebenezer Scrooge: “Customers will be able to keep the money dispensed.” Turns out the blame lay with a vendor who incorrectly loaded $100 bills into the $10 slot. There was no report of how much money was withdrawn.

Picky, Picky A referee in a Women’s Super League soccer match in Manchester City, England, stayed cool at the start of the televised game on Oct. 26 when he realized he’d forgotten his

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Awesome! Katherine Leigh Mehta, 26, of Arlington, Texas, accepted a gig to photograph a wedding at The Springs Event Venue in Weatherford on Nov. 24. But she became the star of the show when wedding guests discovered her having sex with another guest in a room at the venue, according to WSRZ Radio. A security guard summoned Parker County Sheriff’s deputies, who found Mehta yelling by a fountain on the property, according to their report. She then walked to a tree and urinated. While she waited in the back of the patrol car, Mehta screamed: “Y’all families will be dead by Christmas. Y’alls daughters are dead. My dad is going to find out about this, and y’all are ... dead. D-E-A-D.” At the jail, officers found a bottle of anxiety pills, which they believe she mixed with alcohol, causing her erratic behavior. She faces charges of public intoxication and obstruction/retaliation. n All good things must come to an end, and so it seems for Robert Craig Davis, 70, of Key Largo, Fla. Drivers in South Florida had reported seeing a Chrysler Pacifica minivan rigged with a clever device that lowered a black cloth over its license plate each time it drove through an automated toll plaza. But on Nov. 17, according to flkeysnews.com, an off-duty Florida highway patrolman spotted the vehicle as it passed through the Bird Road toll plaza and he alerted his fellow troopers. Sgt. Carlos Vanegas soon stopped Davis, according to the arrest report, and found a remote control device used to operate the license plate cover. “The actions of the defendant showed an ongoing course of conduct with intent to defraud the SunPass toll system,” trooper Dennis Gallo wrote in his report. Davis was charged with organized fraud and petit theft.

Crime Report Suspected car prowler Isaiah John Gellatly, 31, of Vancouver, Wash., was going about his business late on Nov. 19 when Happy Valley police were called, according to Fox12 News. Responding officers found Gellatly lying fully reclined in the driver’s seat of a Honda Accord matching the suspect vehicle’s description. Suddenly Gellatly sat up and sped away, leading to a pursuit and the use of spike strips. As his ability to control the car decreased, police said, Gellatly opened his door to flee, but forgot to put the Honda in park, so it rolled alongside him as he ran. Eventually he tried to run in front of it, as the car hit a tree, a building—and Gellatly, breaking one of his legs. Suspected stolen items found in the car included a tennis racket, a Ping-Pong paddle and a Texas Instruments calculator, begging the question: Was it worth a broken leg? Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Compelling Explanations It happens all the time: A vehicle crashes into a building, causing damage and sometimes injury, because brakes don’t function or a driver steps on the wrong pedal. In the case of Keith Rio Cavalier, 28, however, there was more to the story. WLOX reported that Cavalier drove his 1997 Toyota Tacoma into a glass wall at the Harrison County Courthouse in Gulfport, Miss., on Nov. 10 at around 6 a.m. The building was empty, so there were no injuries, and Cavalier can be clearly seen on surveillance video climbing out of the truck and leaving the scene. When police caught up to him, Cavalier told them he intentionally struck the building in order to report drug paraphernalia had been stolen from him. It will come as no surprise that Cavalier was found to have been driving under the influence and arrested; he was held at the county jail on $25,000 bond.

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n Wesley Glenn Bost, 27, of Birmingham, Ala., made quite the impression when he fell through the ceiling of a Waffle House in Tuscumbia on Nov. 4, not least because he wasn’t wearing pants. Bost apparently went into the restaurant’s bathroom and used his pants to tie the door shut, then, said Tuscumbia police Detective Sgt. Wes Holland, climbed into the ceiling with the intent of robbing the office. WHNT News reported that video of the incident shows Bost shoving other restaurant patrons on his way to the door, which was being held shut by people outside, before hitting the door with his shoulder and falling to the floor. Finally he managed to flee ... without his trousers ... which held his driver’s license.

What Is Fame? Former Toronto Blue Jays star Jose Bautista has another honor to add to his résumé, thanks to entomologist Bob Anderson of the Canadian Museum of Nature. On Nov. 22, reported the Associated Press, Anderson named a newly discovered species of beetle after the star third baseman and right fielder. Sicoderus bautistai is a small black weevil found in the Dominican Republic, where Bautista hails from. “I thought what a great way to kind of recognize (Bautista’s) contributions to Blue Jays baseball and to Canadian baseball, really, as a whole,” Anderson said. The scientist has named about 120 weevils over his career.

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Least Competent Criminals Richard Robert Langely, 46, of Kansas City, Mo., was working part time for the Platte Woods Police Department in October when he decided to take part in the department’s drug take-back program. Except, according to court documents, Langely wasn’t disposing of drugs; he was helping himself to pills that had been collected in Lake Waukomis. And to make matters worse, The Kansas City Star reported, his own body camera captured evidence enabling prosecutors to charge him with felony theft of a controlled substance. Langely is scheduled to appear in court on Dec. 10.

coin for the kickoff coin toss. Thinking quickly, David McNamara had the captains of the Manchester City and Reading teams play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” instead. But the Football Association, soccer’s governing body in England, was unamused, and on Nov. 26, McNamara began a 21-day suspension after accepting a charge of “not acting in the best interests of the game,” according to the BBC. An FA refereeing manager said: “He should have been more prepared. ... It’s very unprofessional.”

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