City Weekly August 22, 2019 by Copperfield Publishing

C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

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The magical 25-year journey of Swan Princess from box-office flop to beloved franchise. By Scott Renshaw

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY WHEN YOU WISH UPON A SWAN

How The Swan Princess went from a box-office flop 25 years ago to a family-film mainstay today. Cover photo by Eden Young

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 11 NEWS 18 A&E 23 DINE 29 MUSIC 43 CINEMA 45 COMMUNITY

SCOTT RENSHAW

Cover story As co-host of the Disney film podcast Mousterpiece Cinema, Renshaw is no stranger to the magic of animated features. “Stories about love and magic might appeal to young people, but they can continue to give us joy and hope throughout our lives,” he says.

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Mendenhall and Escamilla advance to general election. facebook.com/slcweekly

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Cover story, Aug. 8, “DNA Detections”

This is so cool and inspiring. I’m so happy for these folks who found each other. Very well-written article as well. Thanks for putting this out here! @GLADMAMA Via cityweekly.net

Opinion, Aug. 8, “Gun Control: Time to Do it Right”

I almost choked on his plastic sincerity. Donald Trump, you are the author of America’s hate … buck stops at the White House door … take ownership. Thank you, [Michael S.] Robinson Sr. and City Weekly. JOE ANDRADE Via Twitter Nope. DANNY LAVESK Via Facebook Move to England, Mr. Robinson. JOSE MANUEL LUGO Via cityweekly.net Pass. THOMAS HOLT Via Facebook

Hits & Misses, Aug. 8, “The Billboard Race” Interesting

observations.

First thing I thought of when I read Jim Dabakis’ criticisms about his opponents’ use of billboards (Luz Escamilla) were that he might want to discuss policy not billboards. I don’t vote in SLC, though, so this is just an observation. SHERYL HUSSEIN GINSBERG Via cityweekly.net

News, Aug. 8, “Turning a Corner: Recently overhauled Utah Transit Authority dreams up plans for the future. But where do you even begin?”

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News, Aug. 8, “‘At Least You’re Pretty’:

From the Utah Royals to the World Cup in France, ‘fansplaining’ is an utterly unsurprising phenomenon that needs to end at women’s sporting events” This! ANNIE QUAN Via Facebook

Hope to see you at some Aggie women’s soccer games this season—starting with the exhibition against SUU. We could use support. The girls look promising this season! @DWILLIEVAN Via cityweekly.net Amen to that! @UTAHJENN Via Twitter We encourage you to join the conversation. Sound off across our social media channels as well as on cityweekly.net for a chance to be featured in this section.

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OPINION

Swamp Creature Chris Stewart Utah’s Rep. Chris Stewart once quoted his wife as saying, “There’s nothing worth accomplishing in Washington that’s worth losing your soul over.” It seems like he didn’t take her words to heart. Stewart is a larger-than-life specimen of humankind—a prolific novelist of books centered on political and military intrigue; a four-term congressman with deep ties to the intelligence community; a family man and devout Latterday Saint who has made frequent references in his writing to the havoc coming in advance of the final days on earth; and a 14-year military pilot deserving of all the glory normally bestowed on those who defy gravity and escape the “surly bonds of earth.” In short, he is a star. But, while Stewart might deserve a pinch of hero worship, he’s having a difficult time moving in a direction that Utahns can trust. Somewhere along the way, Stewart stepped in some super glue. Despite his prowess as an aviator—he seems unable to break the bond between his shoes and the GOP path. Stewart’s “my party right-or-wrong” mantra isn’t being overlooked. Something interesting happened a few nights ago at Stewart’s North Salt Lake town hall. His previously sheepish constituents grew teeth, asking pointed questions about America’s most pressing issues, and his answers were not to their liking, revealing some kind of evolutionary accident that had left him totally gutless. It seems he is better suited to survival in the D.C. slime than in defending those values he swore to uphold.

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR. Predictably, the pressing issues included gun control, President Donald Trump’s recent racist tweets and the economy. While Stewart would have probably been capable of dealing with a mid-flight mechanical failure, he’d apparently left that part of him at home in his flight bag. Instead of maintaining his cool, his constituents found out how easy it was to rile him, and the meeting turned into a verbal melee. In the wake of one of America’s deadliest gun tragedies, Stewart was asked how he planned to keep our school children safe. Torn between his NRA campaign financing and recent mass shootings, Stewart did the standard GOP twostep, showing concern for victims and acknowledging that the proposed “Red Flag” legislation was needed to avert such disasters. He explained how the proposed Trumpsupported law would allow courts to respond to reports by family and friends who view a person as a potential threat, and that the courts would have 72 hours to decide whether a person should be deprived of their firearms. Wrong answer. Stewart seemed incapable of tackling the matter headon, parrying left and right, and choosing, instead, to decry white nationalism and racism. His audience pointed out how Stewart had failed to vote for the nonbinding House resolution condemning Trump’s vitriolic tweets about four non-white representatives. Stewart acknowledged his “no” vote, adding a defensive, “By your question, you are implying that I’m a racist.” The audience reminded him of Trump’s anti-immigrant stance, asserting that the president’s rhetoric has fomented racial hate. Stewart explained lamely that Trump has committed no violence. Another bad answer. That’s tantamount to saying that Hitler, himself, killed no Jews. Stewart was so flustered, if not embarrassed, that he threatened to walk out of the meeting if the contentiousness continued. Questions about the economy and the new tax law followed. “The problem,” Stewart parroted, “is that we’re

just spending too much.” And it was followed by another standard GOP myth: “President Trump came to office as a businessman.” Predictably, there were more verbal rights, lefts and uppercuts from the audience—clearly aware that Trump’s business history is, at best, laughable. The final question asked if Stewart believed that the findings of the Mueller report justify impeachment. “The Democrats control the House,” he said, adding, “They are free to do that, and I pray they do, because, if they did, you [can] guarantee Donald Trump will be reelected.” His final words proved his worth. He cannot be included in the ranks of Homo erectus. Spineless is the better fit. It doesn’t matter how many kudos Stewart has received. He’s incapable of breaking from the party line, and Utahns are seeing just how pathetic he is. The verbal donnybrook that characterized the town hall was a sign that the people of our state don’t like what’s going on. There was little question when the town hall meeting was over; Stewart had not flown gracefully through the fray nor had any of his audience found satisfaction, closure or even understanding. Instead of responding to the people’s need for positive action, his performance was exactly what was to be expected from a Republican pawn. The way I see it is that we elect and pay our congressmen to represent our rights and move along our agendas. Although Stewart spent years navigating the skies, it seems that he’s forgotten his wife’s simple moral roadmap. Even his most faithful constituents can see it: he has lost his soul. Instead of choosing the high ground, he answers only to the Republican Party—something that a robot is fully capable of doing. CW

The author is a former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and one mongrel dog. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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AUGUST 22, 2019 | 7

CITIZEN REV LT IN ONE WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

BLACK SLAVE DEDICATION

You probably think of slaves and the South in the same breath. Utah was not immune to the culture of slavery and now honors one, named only Tom, with the unveiling of a grave marker. “Tom came to Utah in 1852 as an enslaved man of Haden Wells Church, a Latterday Saint convert from Tennessee. They were in [Abraham] Smoot’s migrant company and settled near Smoot, who would become mayor of Salt Lake City and, later, Provo,” according to a Salt Lake Tribune story. Tom died in 1862, just seven weeks before Congress outlawed slavery in the territories. Salt Lake City Corp. conducts Honoring Tom: Burial Marker Dedication in conjunction with the 400th anniversary of the first African slaves in the United States. Salt Lake City Cemetery, 200 N. E St., Plat B, Thursday, Aug. 22, 4-5 p.m., free, bit.ly/2L356t5.

POVERTY SUMMIT

SEPTEMBER 6, 7 & 8

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Who in this state can say they’ve really solved the housing and homeless problem? Who really understands poverty and its devastating effects? Crossroads Urban Center’s Poverty Summit hones in on the issues and brings them into perspective. There is also a discussion on low-income housing with Salt Lake County Councilwoman Shireen Ghorbani and Salt Lake City Councilman Chris Wharton. Salt Lake Valley Coalition to End Homelessness answers questions about available services, and there’s a debate between the two winners of the Salt Lake mayoral primary. State Sen. Derek Kitchen, D-Salt Lake City, gives the keynote speech. St. Mark’s Cathedral, 231 E. 100 South, Saturday, Aug. 24, 9 a.m.-1 p.m., free, bit.ly/2TBprJG.

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PRAYER RUN

You might not want to run the whole 360 miles from Bears Ears National Monument to the State Capitol, but pop in any time to show your solidarity with SLC Air Protectors. Executive Director Davina Smith began her run on Tuesday, Aug. 13, carrying a sacred medicine bundle and will enter the Salt Lake Valley on Monday, Aug. 26. The next day, 10,000 allies are expected to gather at Warm Springs Park to “listen, learn and collaborate.” This 10,000 Allies Indigenous Youth Solidarity Run is billed as a message of healing and unity to the world. “Whatever cause is close to your heart, come join us, run with us, stand with us,” the group’s website says. State Capitol, 350 N. State, 6 p.m., Monday, Aug. 26/Warm Springs Park, 840 N. 300 West, Tuesday, Aug. 27, 8:30 a.m.12:30 p.m., free, bit.ly/2KEGNm5.

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No, Utah will never learn. The Great Salt Lake is a fragile ecosystem. It wafts and wanes. It hosts waterfowl and tiny brine shrimp, and, yes, sewage. The lake “was taken for granted by most here and treated as a sewer by some of the nation’s biggest polluters,” according to E&E News. And hold your breath: 50% of the water going into Farmington Bay is treated sewage water, an Associated Press story says. Now, Weber County wants to site a landfill at the southern tip of the Promontory Point cape, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. There’s nothing like empty land to get the juices flowing. This proposal envisions one of the nation’s largest landfills trucking in waste from everywhere. Have you heard that before? Salt Lake’s proposed inland port’s a big trucker of pollutants, too, and they’re trying to remediate a landfill out there now.

Sending a Message

If there’s one thing to come out of Ed Smart’s lifelong angst and sorrow, who recently came out publicly as gay, it’s that he’s sending a message to other LGBTQ people who are suffering, too. Sadly, many of them are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Even though the church has dropped a lot of its anti-LGBTQ policies, it still calls for celibacy and marriage. The Trib came up with ideas on how the LDS church can change the dialogue and help LGBTQ members—like recognizing their contributions, calling them by their preferred terms and changing the tone. These are important to note because of the number of faith-related suicides in the state. But ultimately, it’s not up to the Trib to make church doctrine. It might take a revelation from God—or just a little empathy.

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Re-rebranding

Yes, this is Utah and the seat of the Latter-day Saints’ hierarchy, so readers should expect a good helping of church news, whether they care or not. Let’s start with the rebranding of the church. How’s that going, you ask? The Deseret News wants you to hold your breath in anticipation of what’s coming. “We’re not prepared to release anything yet,” said President M. Russell Ballard, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve, “but as this goes forward, it’ll become more and more evident …” Apparently, church members are even trying out new hashtags. Wow. But the fact remains that Latter-day Saints are globally seen as peculiar—odd enough to warrant a Broadway musical. And The Washington Post can’t get enough of them. The latest headline tells it all: “No more green tea, vaping or drinks ending in ‘-ccino,’ Mormon church tells members.” Well, there goes the rebranding.

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Close Connections In emails to colleagues, an ex-inland port board member protests a lobbyist’s antics. BY PETER HOLSLIN pholslin@cityweekly.net @peterholslin

lawyer, the firm he works for clearly has connections with Michael Best & Friedrich LLP. Aside from the obvious fact that Michael Best Strategies and Michael Best & Friedrich LLP both have Michael Best in their name, the firms also share offices in downtown Salt Lake, according to the Utah Division of Corporations & Commercial Code’s online business directory. On the Michael Best website, Hartley is listed as a part of the Salt Lake City team.

Building consensus

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Following up four days after her original email, Miller replied to Fritts that he consulted with the board’s legal counsel who assured there was nothing to worry about. As the counsel explained, according to Miller’s email: “[Hartley] does not have access to the law firm’s network or information about the Inland Port or any other client. Michael Best Strategies is a separate entity from the law firm and does not receive any revenue from the law firm.” “I have no legal or any other affiliation with the law firm … It’s not even a relevant question. There’s no conflict,” Hartley says. “Do I have any regrets? No.” Miller and Jack Hedge, the inland port’s executive director, did not respond to requests for comment. Regardless of whether what happened poses any legal quandaries, some observers argue that the real problem is the way the whole process has been carried out so far. Chambless, the political science professor, says the major impact that such a project could have on Salt Lake City and the resistance it’s faced means that inland port authorities should be working extra hard to build consensus, staying open about the decisions being made and the interests involved. “We want to do this right. We don’t want to have this done in a way that the public feels like this process has been smuggled through,” Chambless says. “You want cooperation, collaboration, teamwork in order to solve the problem of, ‘How do we elevate the economy of Utah?’” CW

Lara Fritts, one of the inland port’s board members at the time, was out of town and couldn’t attend the meeting, but she saw the video. The morning after the protest, she fired off an email to board chair Derek Miller, expressing concern over Hartley’s behavior. She was especially upset because Hartley has connections to the inland port—he works for Michael Best Strategies, a consulting company affiliated with Michael Best & Friedrich LLP, the Milwaukee-based law firm that provides the Inland Port Authority’s legal counsel. The board’s $8.5 million budget for the 2019-20 fiscal year sets

Salt Lake City Mayor Jackie Biskupski, however, contends in a lawsuit that it strips Salt Lake City of its political autonomy and tax dollars. Environmentalists and other opponents argue it will benefit the rich at the expense of everyone else, posing a threat to the fragile Great Salt Lake ecosystem and burdening underserved westside communities with pollution and low-wage jobs. The state’s Inland Port Authority sits at the center of this divisive undertaking, and Civil Riot’s June rally was the second in what’s become a series of increasingly disruptive acts. Last month, the outcry spilled into violence when demonstrators representing several local groups swarmed the offices of the Salt Lake Chamber, where Miller serves as president, to rally against the project and other grievances. In a series of emails City Weekly obtained, board members and other civil servants based in Salt Lake respond to the protests with genuine alarm. “The question I would like to see answered is beyond just how we conduct the meetings—what remedy do we have [to] hold meetings undisrupted and so that we all feel safe,” Fritts wrote to Miller in April, when Civil Riot interrupted a board meeting for the first time.

A veteran business consultant, Fritts moved to Salt Lake in 2016 to take a job as the city’s economic development director. When the Inland Port Authority was established, she joined the board as a representative of Salt Lake City, appointed by the chair of the city’s Airport Advisory Board at the request of Biskupski. Fritts resigned from her post earlier this month to take a job in Virginia. She declined to comment for this article, saying it would be inappropriate to weigh in now that she’s no longer on the board. Last December, when the board hired Michael Best & Friedrich LLP, she was one of four members who recused themselves because one of the firms under consideration listed the Redevelopment Agency (where Fritts was CEO) as a client. Utah Rep. Francis Gibson, R-Mapleton, another board member, also sat out the decision: He tells City Weekly that his son, Kendrik, was working as an intern at Michael Best Strategies around the same time that the inland port took on the law firm, and didn’t want to draw accusations of conflict of interest. Even so, to critics, it’s connections like these that look problematic. “It’s always been a tangled web of insider connections driving this,” Deeda Seed, who has been following the project as a member of the Stop the Polluting Port coalition, says. “Some of the most powerful movers-and-shakers in Utah who stand to gain from this are behind it.” Fritts had concerns about potential malfeasance on her mind when the video of Hartley’s exchange with McKellar surfaced. She was still on the board at the time, and in her email to Miller, she made clear that she felt the video of Hartley blocking a reporter’s way did not send the right message—especially given the lobbyist’s affiliation with Michael Best. “As a Utah Inland Port Board member, I personally advocate for transparency—in all aspects of our meetings,” Fritts wrote. “That includes when there are protests taking place at our meetings.” Although Hartley himself isn’t a

‘A right to know’

The need for transparency

Scenes like Ethan Petersen’s arrest at the Inland Port Authority’s June meeting had a board member questioning safety and transparency.

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ne of the most alarming images to emerge from the controversy around Utah’s inland port development is that of Salt Lake-based energy lobbyist Jeff Hartley, standing guard at the doorway of a committee room in the Utah Capitol, blocking the way of Deseret News reporter Katie McKellar as she tries to cover a protest. The fraught exchange went down in June, when members of grassroots collective Civil Riot and other activists showed up to a board meeting of the Utah Inland Port Authority with plans to grind the proceedings to a halt. As Utah Highway Patrol troopers hauled Civil Riot co-founder Ethan Petersen into the hallway to arrest him, McKellar tried to follow them to record what was happening—but then Hartley bellied up to her. “Why do you give these guys press? All you do is encourage it,” he said, according to video McKellar later posted on Twitter. McKellar and legal observers from the ACLU of Utah caught the incident on video. When the reporter posted the clips, media figures and others pilloried Hartley for his attempt at infringing on her First Amendment right to cover the protest. Hartley, contacted by phone, argues that he only stood in McKellar’s way for a brief moment and that he had a right to “speak my mind” to a reporter. And as it turns out, Twitter commentators weren’t the only ones who were upset.

aside $350,000 for legal fees. “To have Mr. Hartley, who is a member of the law firm the Utah Inland Port Authority has engaged, attempt to prevent her from recording the incident, is unacceptable, and calls me to question the ability of Michael Best to serve our organization,” Fritts wrote in the email, which City Weekly obtained through a public-records request. Issues of transparency and conflictof-interest have haunted the Utah Inland Port Authority ever since lawmakers first established the state body. Board members insist there’s no substantive link between Hartley and the inland port’s attorneys, but the incident between him and McKellar still raises questions about how this mammoth undertaking is being handled. “A lobbyist should never interfere with a reporter doing his or her job,” Tim Chambless, a political science professor at the University of Utah, tells City Weekly. “If we’re going to have an open and free society, then we have to have an absolutely independent newsmedia. … The public has, essentially, a right to know.” The inland port is envisioned as a massive hub for shipping and trade slated for development on a 16,000-acre plot in northwest Salt Lake City. Politicians and business leaders across the Beehive State have promoted the idea for decades, seeing it as an economic boon for an area already situated on the crossroads of American commerce.

PETER HOLSLIN

NEWS

INLAND PORT

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readers choice MEDIA & POLITICS Best elected official ————————————— Best local podcast ————————————— Best nonprofit organization ————————————— Best political scandal ————————————— Best radio show ————————————— Best radio station ————————————— Best social cause ————————————— Best sports reporter ————————————— Best TV anchor ————————————— Best TV news reporter ————————————— Best TV news station ————————————— Best Utahn ————————————— Best weathercaster ————————————— Worst Utahn ————————————— ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best all-ages venue ————————————— Best concert of the year ————————————— Best dance company ————————————— Best DJ ————————————— Best drag entertainer ————————————— Best friend of the arts ————————————— Best gallery ————————————— Best Instagram feed ————————————— Best live music venue ————————————— Best local band/group ————————————— Best museum ————————————— Best music festival ————————————— Best piece of public art —————————————

30th annual best of utah Best record shop ———————————— Best theater company 2019 ———————————— Best visual artist ———————————— GOODS & SERVICES Best barber shop ————————————— Best bookstore ————————————— Best boutique ————————————— Best CBD for pets ————————————— Best CBD product ————————————— Best CBD Retailer ————————————— Best comic-book store ————————————— Best garden supply ————————————— Best pet supply store ————————————— Best piercer ————————————— Best piercing studio ————————————— Best salon ————————————— Best smoke/vape shop ————————————— Best tattoo artist ————————————— Best tattoo shop ————————————— Best thrift/consignment store ————————————— OUTDOOR & RECREATION Best bike path ————————————— Best bike shop ————————————— Best bowling alley ————————————— Best hike path ————————————— Best local gear brand ————————————— Best public golf course ————————————— Best recreational sports store ————————————— Best running event ————————————— Best skate shop ————————————— Best ski shop ————————————— Best ski resort —————————————

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Best snowboarding ————————————— Best State park ————————————— RESTAURANTS Best atmosphere ————————————— Best bakery ————————————— Best breakfast ————————————— Best brunch ————————————— Best Chinese restaurant ————————————— Best coffee shop ————————————— Best desserts ————————————— Best downtown SLC restaurant ————————————— Best French restaurant ————————————— Best gluten-free ————————————— Best Greek restaurant ————————————— Best Indian restaurant ————————————— Best innovative menu ————————————— Best Italian restaurant ————————————— Best Japanese restaurant ————————————— Best Mexican restaurant ————————————— Best Middle-Eastern restaurant ————————————— Best new restaurant ————————————— Best Ogden restaurant ————————————— Best Park City restaurant ————————————— Best restaurant patio ————————————— Best restaurant to impress newcomers ————————————— Best Salt Lake Valley restaurant ————————————— Best Thai restaurant ————————————— Best Utah County restaurant ————————————— Best vegetarian restaurant ————————————— Best Vietnamese restaurant ————————————— Best wine list —————————————

FOOD & DRINK Best appetizers ————————————— Best bacon dish ————————————— Best BBQ ————————————— Best brew pub ————————————— Best brewery ————————————— Best burgers ————————————— Best burrito ————————————— Best chicken item ————————————— Best cookies ————————————— Best culinary school ————————————— Best distillery ————————————— Best donuts ————————————— Best ethnic/specialty market ————————————— Best food truck ————————————— Best french fries ————————————— Best gyros ————————————— Best hard cider ————————————— Best local beer ————————————— Best local spirit ————————————— Best new food trend ————————————— Best pizza ————————————— Best ramen ————————————— Best salads ————————————— Best sandwiches ————————————— Best seafood ————————————— Best soups ————————————— Best sushi ————————————— Best tacos ————————————— Best vegan ————————————— Best wings ————————————— BARS & NIGHTLIFE

#bestofutah Best bar menu ————————————— Best bar patio ————————————— Best beer selection ————————————— Best craft cocktails ————————————— Best dance club ————————————— Best dive bar ————————————— Best gentleman’s club ————————————— Best karaoke ————————————— Best late-night grub ————————————— Best LGBTQ bar ————————————— Best liquor selection ————————————— Best live music ————————————— Best neighborhood bar ————————————— Best new bar ————————————— Best non-downtown bar ————————————— Best Ogden bar ————————————— Best Park City bar ————————————— Best Salt Lake City bar ————————————— Best sports bar ————————————— Best theme night ————————————— COMMERCE (NEW IN 2019!) Best bank for small businesses ————————————— Best business school ————————————— Best company to work for ————————————— Best company that gives back ————————————— Best family-owned business ————————————— Best local manufacturer ————————————— Best made-in-Utah product ————————————— Best minority-owned business ————————————— Best tech company ————————————— Best trade school ————————————— Best Utah retailer —————————————

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ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, AUG. 22-28, 2019

TORI DUHAIME

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Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

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ESSENTIALS

the

FRIDAY 8/23

SATURDAY 8/24

TUESDAY 8/27

Born a homeboy, Bengt (pronounced “Bent”) Washburn has a worldly view. Born in Salt Lake and raised as a Mormon in a tiny Utah town, he’s acquired a diverse perspective. Married to a U.S. Air Force officer, he’s lived in six cities over the past dozen years, including a stint served in Stuttgart, Germany. His droll, off-kilter observations on child care, domestic discord, grocery shopping and learning a foreign language make for a hilarious combination of the weird and wacky, with Washburn situated somewhere in between. On his website, Washburn lists personal preferences—boxer briefs, solid deodorants and Crest toothpaste—and explains that eight years ago, a lump appeared on his right thigh. “According to some kids at the water park, it looks creepy,” he notes. “Many people say Bengt looks kind of like a monkey.” His self-effacing attitude aside, Washburn boasts any number of impressive accomplishments. A former winner of the San Francisco International Comedy Competition, he’s a familiar presence at several prestigious comedy festivals and on Comedy Central, late night television, XM Sirius Radio and NPR. He has three comedy albums to his credit, and a pair of Dry Bar Comedy specials as well. “When I started comedy, I was a 30-year-old man, divorced and living in a tent,” he tells audiences. “I could have slept on a couch, but living in a tent was better for crying.” He might have a point, but that’s something most of us will never know. Best to let Bengt explain it, and do our own weeping at home. (Lee Zimmerman) Bengt Washburn @ Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Aug. 23-24, 7 & 9:30 p.m., $15, wiseguyscomedy.com

While it has been centuries since the Renaissance, this shouldn’t hinder devotees of the period from having an authentic experience. In its eighth year, the Utah Renaissance Faire offers all the “olde tyme” madness a person can stand. With access to more than 120 attractions in a highly immersive experience, one ticket covers both days, which include jousting, armored combat fights, music, wandering performers, demonstrations, games and more. “This is a family friendly, alcohol- and smoke-free event with really great music,” assistant director, Spencer Shattuck, says. “The Faire attacks all of your senses. But in a good way.” While jousting and equestrian vaulting are always popular, the armored combat event has swiftly risen as the top contender for audience members. “This year they are bringing triple the fighters and holding a chapter tournament,” Shattuck adds. “Which means less breaks and more action.” Other engaging acts include musicians Stary Olsa and Bards & Nobles, magician Elias “Lefty” Caress and breathtaking fire shows provided by the Phenomenal Fire troupe. Activities abound for the kids, with puppet shows, foam weapon battles and many hands-on activities. Taketh thou a break from modern day stress and visit the Utah Renaissance Faire for an unforgettable weekend. “The Ren Faire is so much fun,” attendee Anne Lester says via Facebook. “They’re family friendly, judgment free and high energy. If you only go to one festival, let it be this one!” (Colette A. Finney) Utah Renaissance Faire @ Thanksgiving Point, 2650 Ashton Blvd., Lehi, Aug. 23-24, 10 a.m.-8 p.m., adults (12+) $15, ages 6-11 $8, 5 and under free, utahrenfaire.org

When the six resident performing arts companies at the Rose Wagner Center—Plan-B Theatre Co., Pygmalion Theatre Co., Ririe-Woodbury Dance Co., Repertory Dance Theatre, SB Dance and Gina Bachauer International Piano Competition— launched The Rose Exposed in 2012, there were no lofty goals for inter-organizational cooperation, according to Plan-B artistic director Jerry Rapier. “It was just to get people to refer to our building as something other than ‘the building across the street from Squatters,’” he says. Eight years later, The Rose Exposed boasts a legacy beyond mere name recognition. In addition to providing an annual kickoff for the performing arts season that showcases short original performances by all six groups, it has also inspired collaborations like Plan-B and Gina Bachauer’s joint production of Peter and the Wolf that has evolved into an annual free elementary school tour. “We’re a lot more aware of how each other works,” Rapier says. This year’s event coincides with a buzz of additional activity around the Rose. In conjunction with the upcoming United Nations Civil Society Conference coming to the Salt Palace, Plan-B presents Melissa Leilani Larson’s new adaptation of the 100-year-old play The Post Office performed by local high-school students; Aug. 24 also marks the dedication of “Rose Crossing,” a new street mural overseen by local artist Jann Haworth. “If somebody’s a die-hard and really wants to experience the Rose,” Rapier says, “this is the day.” (Scott Renshaw) The Rose Exposed: #Trending @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-3552787, Aug. 24, 8 p.m., $10-$15; The Post Office @ Rose Wagner Center, Aug. 24-25, 4 & 7 p.m.; Aug. 24-26, 7 p.m., $10, artsaltlake.org

Golf is the most serious of all of the sports. Announcers whispering. Players staring at blades of grass trying to determine which way a putt will break. Crowds hushing on a backswing. It’s the perfect situation for somebody to crack a few jokes, and David Feherty has been relishing his role as golf’s court jester for more than 20 years. Just as P.D.Q. Bach did with classical music, Feherty found a stuffy party, walked in with a whoopee cushion and became a hit with his sense of humor and skill at storytelling. Feherty also falls into the tradition of sports broadcasters who experienced enough career success to be able to communicate expertise, but did not reach such lofty heights that they can’t find humor in the game, including poking fun at themselves. The Northern Ireland-native spent most of his career on the European Tour, where he won five tournaments and made a Ryder Cup team in 1991. He played on the PGA Tour for a couple of seasons in the mid-’90s before putting down his clubs and picking up a microphone. He made his presence known in his first broadcast with CBS in 1997. After Tiger Woods had just finished a round at Pebble Beach, abutting the Pacific Ocean, Feherty corralled him for an interview and asked, “Were you concerned at all by that big blue thing to the left?” This will not be Feherty’s first time in Utah. In 2013, as part of his Golf Channel television show, Feherty visited retired pro Billy Casper, who tricked Feherty into rehearsing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. (Geoff Griffin) David Feherty: Live Off Tour @ Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-5817100, Aug. 27, 7:30 p.m., $51-181, tickets.utah.edu

Bengt Washburn

Utah Renaissance Faire

The Rose Exposed: #Trending

David Feherty: Live Off Tour

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AUGUST 22, 2019 | 19

20 | AUGUST 22, 2019

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A&E

Gamers Got Game

The University of Utah’s esports program strives to join the traditional athletics world. BY SEAN HEMMERSMEIER comments@cityweekly.net @seanhemmersmeier

The 2019 National Esports Championships in Houston that travel to play in postseason events—so it’s not cheap. Dimick adds that costs for facility coordination, marketing, event services and compliance in order to maintain competitive integrity also require funding. Dimick says the school’s esports program doesn’t take in money through ways a traditional team would, such as donations from boosters. The primary obstacle to creating a revenue model is the absence of an organizational standard in esports, which could provide easier access to revenue streams such as media rights. “If we can organize … I think that dramatically heightens the potential of what we can do together rather than apart,” Dimick says. CW

In order to become part of the athletics department, however, a revenue model for collegiate esports needs to be established. Currently, all funding for Utah esports programs comes from the university, Dimick says, which doesn’t match up with how a proposed Division I team needs to be funded. For example, the U’s lacrosse team secured a $15.6 million endowment that didn’t use any state or university funds prior to its promotion. “Nowadays, adding sports at the college level almost always requires an endowment,” Hill said in the 2017 announcement. Utah esports are funded in a completely different way from athletics, so for the team to transition to the athletics department, a different funding model needs to be put in place. The U’s esports team includes 34 athletes on scholarship, seven coaches and four highly competitive teams

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

he University of Utah turned heads in 2017 when it announced it would offer esports scholarships. That move was just the beginning. Two years later, the U is committed to being a pioneer in the field and moving its esports program— which finished runner-up in Overwatch at the 2019 National Esports Championships in Houston—to the athletics department, thus making it an official athletics team. While collegiate sports are vital to any college’s brand, it might be surprising that esports— online video game competitions for spectators—are now being considered for varsity status. Collegiate esports have seasons and playoffs, just like basketball; regular season matches are played online, which means there is no need for teams to travel. Teams do travel later in the season, when there are higher-stakes tournaments—complete with live spectators and commentators—which are streamed on Twitch. In 2017, when the U approved the club lacrosse team for Division I status, thenathletics director Chris Hill said in a news release the main factors for the decision were the “potential impact on our other teams,

financial self-sustainability, compliance with Title IX and popularity in our community.” As esports teams begin lobbying for varsity status, that same criteria applies. One of the challenges facing esports, according to the U’s esports director, A.J. Dimick, is that the overall organization of each school’s program is unique because many such programs started with student grassroots movements. Those origins then defined how a program was treated and funded. Some are housed in an academics department, with a focus on creating tools around esports and offering majors related to video-game production. Others, like at Wisconsin’s Marquette University, are housed in athletics departments, with a focus on creating winning teams that generate revenue for the school. Meanwhile, the esports industry is booming. According to a 2019 report by game analytics provider Newzoo, revenue for 2019 is expected to reach $1.1 billion, and the estimated value in 2022 will be near $1.8 billion. “[Esports] is on its way … it’s just a matter of time before this mainstreams itself,” Dimick says. The challenge in bringing collegiate esports to a national level is unifying school programs in how they organize and compete. “We need our peers to do the same things that we are doing,” Dimick says. There’s also tremendous potential for college esports to succeed on a national level if they can capitalize on school brands and geographic rivalries. According to Dimick, the two main reasons people engage with sporting events are the competitive spectacle of the event and tribalism, where fan groups form around teams. “Professional esports have emerged organically without [tribalism] being prevalent,” Dimick says, while college esports has a much better chance at using rivalries to develop a fanbase, because there is already a strong sense of tribalism sown into collegiate sports.

AJ DIMICK

SPORTS

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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

Salt Lake City-based artist Kathy Simpson presents works guided by what she describes as “sensitivity, pensiveness and a natural penchant toward irony” in Synergy: Sums and Parts at Anderson-Foothill Library (1135 S. 2100 East, 801-594-8611, slcpl.org), through Sept. 12, with an artist reception Thursday, Aug. 22, from 7-8:30 p.m.

PERFORMANCE THEATER

The Book of Mormon Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, through Aug. 25, artsaltlake.org A Brief Waltz in a Little Room: 23 Short Plays About Walter Eyer Urban Arts Gallery, 116 S. Rio Grande St., Aug. 23-31, dates and times vary, sackerson.org Charley’s Aunt Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., visitsaltlake.com Cinderella Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Sept. 7, showtimes vary, hct.org Freaky Friday Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Aug. 24, dates and times vary, hct.org Hamleton: To Be or Not to Be The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through Sept. 7, Friday, Saturday & Monday, 7:30 p.m., theobt.org Matilda The Ziegfield Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, through Aug. 31, times vary, theziegfeldtheater.com The Post Office Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Aug. 24-26, artsaltlake.org (see p. 18) Rose Exposed: #Trending Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Aug. 24, 8 p.m. (see p. 18) Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Sept. 15, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org Sunday School Musical Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, Murray, through Aug. 25, desertstar.biz Utah Shakespeare Festival Southern Utah University, 195 W. Center St., Cedar City, through Oct. 12, times and prices vary, bard.org A Wall Apart The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, through Sept. 7, times vary, grandtheatrecompany.com

COMEDY & IMPROV

Bengt Washburn Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Aug. 23-24, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com (see p. 18) Comedy Church with Greg Kyte Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Aug. 25, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

David Feherty: Live Off Tour Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, Aug. 27, 7:30 p.m., tickets.utah.edu (see p. 18) Laughing Stock Improv Comedy The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through Oct. 12, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., theobt.org Open Mic Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Wednesdays, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Paul Sheffield Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., Ogden, Aug. 23-24, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Random Tangent Improv Comedy Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Saturdays, 10 p.m., randomtangentimprov.org Spence Roper Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Aug. 23-24, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Stand and Deliver: A Stand-up inspired Improv Show Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Aug. 22, 7:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

9th West Farmers Market Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 West, Sundays through Oct. 13, 10 a.m.2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Saturdays through Oct. 19, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Fleet Nights, Little City, 855 S. 400 West, every Saturday, 4 p.m., littlecityinc.com New Roots of Utah Neighborhood Farm Stand Valley Regional Park, 4013 S. 700 West, Saturdays through mid-October, 1-3 p.m., slco.org Ogden Farmers Market 25th Street, Ogden, Saturdays through Sept. 15, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., farmersmarketogden.com Park Silly Sunday Market Main Street, Park City, Sundays through Sept. 22, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., parksillysundaymarket.com Sugar House Farmers Market Farimont Park, 1040 E. Sugarmont Drive, second Sundays through September, 8:30 a.m.-noon, sugarhousefarmersmarket.org Tuesday Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Tuesdays, through Sept. 14, 4 p.m.dusk, slcfarmersmarket.org

Wheeler Sunday Market Wheeler Farm, 6351 S. 900 East, Murray, Sundays through Oct. 27, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., slco.org/wheeler-farm

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Arts Bash Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, Aug. 28, 10:30-1:30 p.m., music.utah.edu Blue Moon Festival Holladay City Hall, 4580 S. 2300 East, Holladay, Aug. 24, 4-10 p.m., holladayarts.org Living Traditions Presents: Mondays in the Park Chase Home Museum of Utah Folk Arts, 600 E. 1100 South, Mondays through Sept. 9, 7 p.m., livingtraditionsfestival.com Made in Utah Festival The Gateway, 400 W. 100 South, Aug. 24-25, noon-6 p.m., madeinutahfest.org (see p. 24) Multiethnic Performing Arts Festival Pioneer Park, 350 S. 300 West, Aug. 24, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Oktoberfest Snowbird Resort, Highway 210 Little Cottonwood Canyon, Snowbird, through Oct. 20, snowbird.com Utah Renaissance Faire Thanksgiving Point, 2650 Ashton Blvd., Lehi, Aug. 23-24, 10 a.m., utahrenfair.org (see p. 18)

LGBTQ

1 to 5 Club: Radical Reading Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, third Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m., utahpridecenter.org Beyond a Night of Music Encircle Salt Lake, 331 S. 600 East, every Thursday, 6:30-8 p.m., encircletogether.org Men’s Sack Lunch Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, Wednesdays, noon-1:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org TransAction Weekly Meeting Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, Sundays, 2-3:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Amara Janke: My Guide to Simple Healthy Eating Jordan Landing, 7157 Plaza Center Drive, West Jordan, Aug. 24, 1 p.m., barnesandnoble.com Benjamin Cohen: An Appeal to the Ladies of Hyderabad: Scandal in the Raj The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Aug. 28, kingenglish.com Jennifer Adams University Crossing Plaza, 330 E. 1300 South, Orem, Aug. 24, 1 p.m., barnesandnoble.com Kirby Lord: Myrrendryl Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, Aug. 24, 2 p.m., wellerbookworks.com Robison Wells: The Warning The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Aug. 22, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com

TALKS & LECTURES

Them Before Us Info Night State Capitol, 350 N. State, Aug. 27, 4 p.m., thembeforeus.com Equality Is Not Enough: Building Equitable Communities w/ Geoffrey Canada S.J. Quinney College of Law, 383 S. University St., Aug. 28, 7-8:30 p.m., unitedwaysaltlake.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

3SMITHS Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, through Sept. 6, artandmuseums.utah.g Face of Utah Sculpture XV Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, through Aug. 28, culturalcelebration.org

45th Annual Statewide Competition Bountiful Davis Art Center, 90 N. Main, Bountiful, through Sept. 14, bdac.org Abstraction Is Just a Word, But I Use It UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 4, utahmoca.org Andrew Dadson: Roof Gap UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org Andrew Alba: Gas Station Honeydew UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Aug. 24, utahmoca.org Animalia Urban Arts Gallery, 116 S. Rio Grande St., through Sept. 1, utaharts.org Anne Fudyma: Synchronistic Space UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Oct. 12, 11 a.m.6 p.m., utahmoca.org Art at the Main Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Sept. 14, artatthemain.com The Art of Painting and Truth of Mind Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Sept. 10, events.slcpl.org De | Marcation Granary Arts, 86 N. Main, Ephraim, through Sept. 27, granaryarts.org Deanna & Ed Templeton: Contemporary Suburbium UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 7, utahmoca.org [DIS]PLACED Downtown Artist Collective, 258 E. 100 South, through Sept. 15, downtownartistcollective.org Following in the Footprints of Chinese Railroad Workers Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, through Sept. 27, goldenspike150.org Form, Line and Color: Modernism and Abstraction David Dee Fine Art, 1709 E. 1300 South, Ste. 201, through Aug. 30, daviddeefinearts.com Global Villagers: Portraits from a World Community Sweet Library, 455 F St., through Aug. 26, 10 a.m., events.slcpl.org I, your glass Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, through Sept. 20, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., saltlakearts.org Kathy Simpson: Synergy: Sums and Parts Anderson-Foothill Library, 1135 S. 2100 East, through Sept. 12, slcpl.org (see this page) League of Reluctant Bicyclists UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Nov. 2, utahmoca.org Love Letters The Gateway, 24 S. Rio Grande St., through Sept. 1, lovelettersmuseum.com Paper & Thread Modern West Fine Art, 412 S. 700 West, through Aug. 31, modernwestfineart.com Power Couples Utah Museum of Fine Art, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 8, umfa.utah.edu Role Call: Fearless Females in Utah History Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Oct. 21, events.slcpl.org Ryan Lauderdale: Glazed Atrium UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Nov. 2, utahmoca.org Shane Sato: Portraits of Courage Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Sept. 20, utahhumanities.org Spencer Finch: Great Salt Lake and Vicinity Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through Nov. 28, umfa.utah.edu Time + Materials Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through Aug. 30, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Tiny Portraits, Big Connections Holladay City Hall, 4580 S. 2300 East, Holladay, through Aug. 30, holladayarts.org Untold Aftermath Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, through Sept. 20, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., saltlakearts.org Yellowstone: Invisible Boundries Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, through Sept. 15, nhmu.utah.edu

Thinking Way Outside the Bun

How a local burger chain found success introducing the Impossible Burger. BY AMANDA ROCK comments@cityweekly.net @amanda_ reads

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AUGUST 22, 2019 | 23

thought it would be good, but I didn’t know it would be this good,” he says. “We are now the No. 1-selling restaurant of Impossible Burgers in Utah.” If you’ve tried the Impossible Burger from Apollo (pictured), it’s easy to understand the immediate success. At just under $7, the price is right, the charbroil is delicious and the toppings are fresh. Each burger comes with a thick slice of tomato, onions, lettuce, and a dollop of Apollo Sauce. Vegans, skip the sauce and ask for a lettuce wrap or pay 99 cents extra for the gluten-free bun (which also happens to be vegan). You can also substitute an Impossible patty on any other burger for an additional cost. The Athenian burger, which comes with roasted red peppers, feta cheese and homemade tzatziki could be a good option. Their mushroom Swiss burger also sounds like a winner. So what swayed Apollo to take a gamble on Impossible vs. Beyond? “You can buy the Beyond Burger anywhere, and the Impossible [one] is better,” Baguley says. I have to agree with him. There’s a Carl’s Jr. nearby, but I’m rarely tempted to indulge in one of theirs, because I have a package of them at home. What’s next for Apollo? “We’re evolving with the times and the customers,” Jacobson says, while Baguley muses about finding a supplier for vegan pastrami. Personally, I’m holding out for vegan milkshakes. CW

Keeping up with dietary trends, Apollo added a veggie burger ($5.79) to their menu six years ago. Made from black beans and veggies, it’s the polar opposite of the pastrami cheeseburgers the eatery is known and loved for. As one of the few burger chains to offer a vegan option, Apollo demonstrates their ability to think outside the bun. Vegans and vegetarians will gladly hand over their cash, if only you give us options. “We don’t sell a lot,” Andrew Baguley, Apollo’s director of operations, admits. Paige Jacobson, director of marketing, is quick to add, “For a veggie burger, it’s pretty good.” I’ve ordered the veggie burger (with avocado) to justify eating their French fries, which are the best around, but I’d rather spend my money and daily caloric intake on an Impossible Burger. A few customers I’ve talked to prefer the OG burger, and, interestingly enough, sales for the veggie burger have not decreased with the introduction of the Impossible Burger. With all the media attention Impossible Burger was getting last year, Baguley knew adding it to the menu would bring in millennial dollars. A menu revamp was in the works, and the addition of the Impossible Burger seemed like it would be at home on the joint’s fancy new digital menus. Convincing the local chain’s managers and owners was not easy. “It was not obvious that it was going to be a winner,” Baguley says, adding that they’ve sold four times more Impossible Burgers than originally anticipated. “I

DEREK CARLISLE

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

elcome to the future. We have self-driving cars, our telephones are mini-computers and delicious fast food hamburgers are not necessarily made from dead cows. The two meatless burgers on everyone’s lips (literally) are the Beyond Burger and Impossible Burger. They’re made by two different companies tackling climate change by offering an alternative to animal agriculture. According to Impossible Foods, creating one of its burgers, instead of a traditional ground beef burger, uses 87% less water, 96% less land use and emits 89% fewer greenhouse gas emissions. Meanwhile, Beyond Meat boasts that its burgers are created using 99% less water, 93% less land use and emits 90% fewer greenhouse gas emissions compared to the regular hamburger. Both of these burgers look and taste like beef, not like the veggie burger you tried 10 years ago. Touted as “the future of protein,” you can buy the Beyond Burger at grocery stores for about $6 for a two-pack. Trace amounts of beet juice give this plant-based burger a convincing bloody pink hue; throw them on a grill or a hot cast-iron skillet, the burgers sizzle and bleed. Satisfying and tasty, the Beyond Burger has a whopping 20 grams of protein from—get this—peas. They’re made without GMOs, soy or gluten. Impossible’s counterpart is not sold in stores. The only way you can taste it is ordering it at a restaurant. The burger is juicy, flavorful and looks and tastes so much like beef, that every time I order it, I’m convinced the staff has accidentally given me a real hamburger. The reason it’s so realistic lies in the fact that Impossible Foods has figured out how to make a plant-based heme (the essential molecule that gives meat its meaty flavor) by genetically modifying yeast. It’s called soy leghemoglobin. If you’re worried this all sounds a little too Soylent Green, rest easy knowing the company went above and beyond the U.S. Food and Drug Administration testing requirements. They even conducted a study feeding rats soy leghemoglobin, which was not well-received by the animal rights community. There’s 19 grams of protein in the burger that comes from potatoes and soy. The two burgers are tasty and calm your conscience when it comes to animal welfare and global warming, but are they better for your health? Not really, according to the nutritionists interviewed for a recent Huffington Post article. While they offer a protein punch, both brands rely heavily on coconut oil, which is high in saturated fat and the calorie count is similar to its beef counterpart. Oh, well. Still, consumers have been clamoring for them, and fastfood chains known for their commercials featuring juicy, sizzling beef have listened. Carl’s Jr. added the charbroiled Beyond Famous Star with cheese to their menu. Del Taco is offering signature tacos and burritos featuring Beyond Meat. Impossible Foods is not far behind. How about chomping down on an Impossible Whopper at Burger King, or scarfing a slice of Impossible sausage pizza from Little Ceasars? In Rose Park, Apollo Burger is a popular lunchtime destination. A line of construction workers, business people, state employees and soldiers dressed in Army fatigues flow out the doors each weekday at noon. Cars in the drive-thru, backed up onto the street, idle and wait. With the addition of the Impossible Burger to the menu, I’ve been among them, weary from a long day at work and craving sustenance in the holy trinity of hamburger, French fries and an ice-cold Coke.

the

BACK BURNER BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Made in Utah Festival

| CITY WEEKLY |

24 | AUGUST 22, 2019

Normal Ice Cream Opens

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -CREEKSIDE PATIO-89 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO-SCHEDULE AT RUTHSDINER.COM“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

I’ve been a Normal Ice Cream (normal.club) enthusiast ever since I tried their delectable dulcey dip at their chrome-plated van inside Trolley Square. Since I got word that founder and soft-serve saint Alexa Norlin was planning on opening a storefront, I have been patiently awaiting the day when her creative composed cones and ice cream sandwiches would become twice as available. I’m happy to announce that the day has finally come. Normal Ice Cream has opened a storefront at 169 E. 900 South, and they’ll still maintain their mobile location inside Trolley Square. Both are open from noon to 10 p.m. on Monday through Saturday, and from noon to 8 p.m. on Sunday. The menus are different at both locations, so plan accordingly.

Utah Cheese Award Deadline

Local chieftains of curd take note—Friday, Aug. 23, is the deadline to submit your most coveted of cheeses to the Utah Cheese Awards (utahcheeseawards.com). While this local event prioritizes cheese submissions, those who are creating charcuterie, bread, honey and candy are also welcome to submit. After going through a rigorous battery of qualifying exams, products are submitted to a panel of judges who decide on the winner for each category. The whole affair concludes with a reception to honor those most talented of artisans. Instructions and entry forms can be found on the organization’s website—and may the best cheese win. Quote of the Week: “Ice cream cravings are not to be taken lightly.” —Betsy Cañas Garmon Back Burner tips: comments@cityweekly.net

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD | 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

italianvillageslc.com 5370 S. 900 E. 801.266.4182 MON - THU 11A - 11P FRI - SAT 11A - 12A SUN 3P - 10P

Celebrat i

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Utah is home to talented people of all disciplines, and one of the best showcases of that artistry is the Made in Utah Festival (madeinutahfest.com). In addition to creating a gathering space for local artists, craftspeople, performers and musicians, the festival hosts several local food vendors and mixologists. Attendees can snag some tasty truffles from The Chocolate Conspiracy, munch on some high-end tostadas from Sobe Eats Culinary Concepts, and sip on craft beers from Toasted Barrel and Squatters. Admission is free, and VIP tickets offer access to exclusive craft cocktails and caterers hand-picked by the Park City Culinary Institute. The festival takes place at The Gateway (400 W. 100 South) on Saturday, Aug. 24, and Sunday, Aug. 25, from noon to 6 p.m.

year

ninth & ninth 254 south main

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GRAND OPENING SOUTH SALT LAKE CITY LOCATION

801-969-6666

123 S. State Orem, Utah 84058

801-960-9669

Lunch Buffet: $8.95 Adults, $4.95 Kids, Mon-Fri 11am-3:30pm Dinner Buffet: $12.95 Adults, $7.75 Kids, Mon-Fri 3:30pm-9:30pm Saturday, Sunday & Holidays $12.95 All Day / Take-Out: Lunch $4.75/lb Dinner $6.25/lb

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 25

Hours: M-Thurs 11am-9:30pm, Fri & Sat 11am-10pm, Sunday 11am-9pm

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801-905-1186

5668 S. Redwood Rd. Taylorsville, Ut 84123

3620 S. State Street SLC, Utah 84115

THREE LOCATIONS!

3 6 2 0

Two new offerings with big flavor and big drinkability. BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

hen the full heat of summer hits us high desert folk, we chase the beers that offer big flavor while still maintaining those hydrating elements. This week’s beers cover both bases. Kiitos Brewing Rimando Pale Ale: I can’t think of any other local personality who has had two beers named after them, let alone one. But for Real Salt Lake’s Nick Rimando, it’s turning into a regular thing. Formerly, the MLS goalie appeared on Epic Brewing Co.’s popular Rimando’s Wit; now he’s teamed up with Kiitos Brewing for a special pale ale. The newest Rimandothemed brew pours a clear, medium goldenamber hue, with three fingers of aggressively foamy, puffy and somewhat rocky eggshell white head, which leaves some

MIKE RIEDEL

Dog Day Refreshment

decent broken spider-web lace around the glass as it slowly ebbs away. It smells of biscuit, grainy pale malt, lemons, oranges and sweet grapefruit, with a slight honey sweetness. The aroma finishes with mild leafy herbs and a strong grassy hoppiness. The taste starts bready, with an almost pastry-like maltiness. As the hops move in, you’re met with orange peel, lemon and a complex grassy, herbal and leafy hop bitterness. It’s a little subdued, and starts to take a backseat to the malts toward the end as the beer develops a gradual honey-like sweetness. The finish could be a little drier, which would increase its quaffability for sure. Overall: I always try to judge a beer’s drinkability by asking what situation I could see myself enjoying it in. This ale would fit well into a warm spring afternoon after working in the yard. This 5% also works well as a “sitting on your ass in the pub” beer as well. 2 Row Brewing Sour IPA: This beer pours a hazy medium copper in color, with moderate amounts of active visible carbonation rising quickly from the bottom of the glass and some moderate golden-yellow/ honey-orange highlights. The beer has a three-finger tall sudsy foamy head that slowly reduces to a large patch of mottled film covering the entire surface, and a medium thick ring at the edges of the glass. There’s a moderate aroma of lemon, chalk and lacto sourness in the aroma, along

with herbal and grassy hops. Up front in the taste, there’s light to moderate caramel, biscuit and wheat malts that are quickly overtaken by flavors of lacto tartness and sourness along with some light flavors of chalky and earthy yeast and more lemon. There is a light to moderate dose of citrus and tangerine and herbal and grassy hops, which impart a medium amount of bitterness that doesn’t linger while the tartness loiters well through the finish. It’s light to medium bodied, with moderate carbonation. Overall: This is an interesting combo of sour and bitter, with a little more lacto and yogurt presence than I was expecting, and

the hop’s citrus-like characters tend to get a little lost. The 5.8% alcohol helps keep the quenching quality high, so it’s easy to drink and refreshing. I’ve seen Rimando’s Pale Ale at several pubs and bars around the Salt Lake Valley, so finding it shouldn’t be a problem. Kiitos tells me that sales are brisk, and more batches are coming soon. 2 Row has had quite a few seasonal releases lately, and their special release labels can be a little confusing if you’re not paying close attention while visiting your favorite watering hole. Just to be safe, hit up the brewery when seeking this one out. As always, cheers! CW

26 | AUGUST 22, 2019

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BEER NERD

Contemporary Japanese Dining L U N C H • D I N N E R • C O C K TA I L S 18 WEST MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

REVIEW BITES

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

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Japanese Cuisine

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423 Broadway (By Homewood Suites) 801.363.0895 | samesushi.com

Big Tortas

Summer is here...

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Delivering Attitude for 40 years!

150 South 400 East, SLC | 801-322-3733 www.freewheelerpizza.com

NOW OPEN

20 W. 200 S. SLC

(801) 355-3891 • siegfriedsdelicatessen.com

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Tortas are designed to be gigantic, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt truly humbled by a dish like the tortas at Big Tortas. The torta ranchera ($11.75) immediately sparked my curiosity because it had breaded steak and breaded chicken; in addition to the meats that are pounded into thin cutlets before being breaded and cooked, you also get tomato, avocado, onions and a slowly melting slice of Oaxaca cheese. The cutlets were well-cooked, if a little bland on their own, but that queso Oaxaca and avocado mixture had me hungry to try more. In the colossal Sur 39 ($11.75, pictured), a warm blanket of cheese sits atop a carnivorous orgy of ham, chorizo, bacon, steak and a pork chop, plus grilled peppers and onions along with their usual veggies. The fact that the Sur 39 doesn’t fall apart once you take a bite not only means that all those layers are tender enough for your teeth to penetrate, but they’ve been assembled with maximum efficiency. I walked in thinking my moderate torta experience had prepared me, only to find out that I was woefully outmatched—but what a delicious defeat it was. Reviewed July 11. Multiple locations, bigtortas.com

20162018

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111 W. 9000 S. Sandy, Ut | 801.566.0721

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 27

SO GRILL KOREAN BBQ AND SUSHI

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HIBACHI

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to momand-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves. Mon - Thur: Fri - Sat: Sunday:

Avenues Bistro on Third

11:00am - 9:30pm 11:00am - 10:30pm 12:00pm - 9:00pm

LUNCH - $11.99 DINNER - $19.99

3370 State Street #8 South Salt Lake, UT 801-466-8888 | Full liquor license

FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT SAKURAHIBACHISLC.COM

4150 S, REDWOOD ROAD TAYLORSVILLE 801.878.7849

entire % off order

1 COUPON PER TABLE | NOT VALID W/ ANY OTHER OFFERS OR DISCOUNTS | DINE- IN ONLY EXPIRES 9/30/19

Award Winning Donuts

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

Award Winning Donuts

Avenues Bistro focuses on organic, free-range, locally sourced ingredients and products whenever possible. Local purveyors of fine foods are represented on the menu, which focuses on new and traditional American cuisine as well as tapas. In the morning, fresh coffee, pastries and other breakfast foods are available for a quick pick-me-up or a leisurely meal. Menu items are selected according to what meats, vegetables, fruits and herbs are freshest and in season. 564 E. Third Ave., 801-8315409, facebook.com/avenuesbistroonthird

Millie’s Burgers

There are no frills or fuss at this Sugar House eatery— just tasty burgers and more than 30 different shakes. Their frosty treats are literally over the top, and the burgers are a throwback to the days of mom-and-pop diners where the patties actually tasted like beef. The fries are made from hand-cut potatoes, and the fried zucchini sticks are beyond addictive. The affordable prices and fast service are just an added bonus at this little slice of Americana. 2092 S. 1000 East, 801466-6043, milliesburger.com

cHINESE & jAPANeSE CUISINE

| CITY WEEKLY |

28 | AUGUST 22, 2019

GOODEATS Complete listings at cityweekly.net

ALL YOU CAN EAT

Auntie Rae’s Dessert Island

When BuzzFeed conducted a Yelp survey to determine the best place for soft serve ice cream in every state, the internet aggregates declared Auntie Rae’s Dole Whip Vanilla Twist the finest soft serve in the Beehive State. Dole Whip soft serve is catnip to anyone who has visited the Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland, and to get it locally for a buck? It practically sells itself. Auntie Rae’s also offers several dessert delivery systems—like the cookie sundae—for your Dole Whip, which gives the eccentric little Holladay shop tremendous repeat value. 4704 S. Holladay Blvd., 801-679-3925, auntieraesdessertisland.com

The Beehive Grill

As much as beer-brewing has proliferated in Utah, it’s still sometimes hard to wrap your head around Utah as a place for such activity. Root beer brewing? Now that sounds about right. Logan’s Beehive Grill is a great dining location for burgers, steaks and sandwiches, but it’s also home to daily on-site creation of craft root beer, made the oldfashioned way with cane sugar (no corn syrup) and water before the addition of the flavoring extract. The result is a refreshingly distinctive flavor, representing an allages-appropriate brand of craft brewing. 255 S. Main, Logan, 435-753-2600, thebeehivegrill.com

Dudes to the Back

MUSIC JOHNNYSONSECOND.COM FUNKIN’ FRIDAY

BAD BOY BRIAN

An educational rant for guys who like music from a girl music editor.

SPINNIN THE FRESHEST FRIDAY NIGHT JAMS

BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

WITH SPECIAL GUEST DJ EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT

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TOUR @ 8PM BONUS: SAT @ 2PM

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STARTS @ 9PM

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TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

KARAOKE AT 8PM

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 29

165 E 200 S SLC 801.746.3334

| CITY WEEKLY |

him, her boyfriend did indeed chase the guy around the bar. “[This] happens a lot in many music scenes,” Thomas continues. “Shows should be a safe place where we, as women, can enjoy the goddamn music.” Fellas, save some guy from having to run around a crowded venue after a creep, and just tell your friends it’s not OK to be a creep in the first place. Eve Asplund, formerly of a now-defunct local band, left her band after she was repeatedly told she just didn’t look like a “real” performer, among other things. “I have not been on a stage since,” she says. “A few of my friends were still in the band and never stood up for me once.” One has to ask who’s doing the gatekeeping there, about who looks right and wrong on the stage. I looked up the band in question, and if their pictures are any evidence, apparently they think “performers” should just be boys like themselves. It’s also important to note that it’s not just (cis-gendered) girls who get excluded from scenes, but anyone who deviates from the “norm” (i.e. dude with guitar). Queer folks across the gender and sexuality spectrum are also regularly disrespected and harassed, too. When men refuse to respect us, or defend us from people who don’t, we have to work harder to maintain our spot—a spot we deserve. Some guy reading this might want to interject that they’re not shitty, and they bought their ticket, so why can’t they stand up front? To which I’d say: For decades men have occupied the front, catcalled even the women above them on stage, belittled women’s interests in music. And for that, it’s about time at least one guy makes some personal sacrifices as reparations. Take a dig on any music magazine’s archives from the 2000s and earlier; you’ll find heaps of misogynist reporting. In 2019, an unbelievable number of women are leading the way in many genres, and that diversity is the future. Grumble if you want to, but do it in the back. I’ll be watching the show. CW

WASATCH POKER

Emma Ruth Rundle

9PM - NO COVER SUNDAYS & THURSDAYS & SATURDAYS

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here are myriad ways I could have been inspired to write this piece, but the catalyst was a rather ironic experience at a show recently—Emma Ruth Rundle at Urban Lounge earlier this summer, to be exact. She’s on her way to being prolific, like PJ Harvey, with her moody, gothic folk rock, and I was excited to see her. See her I did, but in the disrupted way that most women have experienced at a show: I, a powerful, music-loving woman, watched Rundle, a powerful woman who plays music, from behind and between the shoulders of two tall men in front of me. Since I began going to shows, I’ve loathed this phenomenon of men—particularly, like, really tall men—not seeming to consider that their height is disruptive to people around them, especially shorter people. But it’s not just matters of size that bother me; it’s lack of awareness in general. There’s a reason that the ’90s riot grrrl battle cry was, “Girls to the front!” It’s not just that we can’t see, but that we’re not even seen, either physically or as music fans. These are some of the ways in which women continue to experience sexism in music still in 2019, and what can be done by our bros to break that cycle so I can see the damn show, unimpeded. Going out in public as a woman isn’t ever easy, and nowhere is this more apparent than at a live music show. Once, while occupying a fairly empty room and watching a lounge set I’m fond of, a bystanding fellow leaned over to ask if I was dating someone in the band, because I was watching “so intently.” He was incredulous upon my answer that I was there for the music. Ciera Agnello, from local up-and-comers Lube, has experienced much of the same; “When I was on tour I had multiple men ask if I was ‘with someone in the band,’” she says. Questions like this show that women aren’t perceived as “normal” in a musical space, that there’s no way we’re really just there for the music. I can promise that this happens a lot beyond these two anecdotes, and that it’s something that should be easy to stop. If you’re reading this and think it’s whack, and also happen to be a guy, call out your friends and tell them it’s rude. We all know guys take other guys more seriously. (Should I have changed my name to “Aaron” for this story?). Men do need to play a role in making sure other men know that they’re not the only ones who appreciate music. If this sort of attitude—that women are just at shows to get guys— persists, it can, and often does, result in men prowling shows for women to outright harass. SLC vintage guru-turned ex-pat Kristen Thomas, who lives in Spain now, tells of a particularly harrowing time at a show at a downtown venue. “One of the local musicians told me straight up that he wanted to ‘shag’ me,” Thomas says. “I kind of ignored it and kept talking to the other people around, and he said it again to me.” The man ended up following her into the bathroom, and after she escaped his attempt to lock her inside with

Ostrich Elk Buffalo Wild Boar Venison Wagyu

Lofte’s Bar and Grill

2106 W. North Temple. Salt Lake City, Utah 801-741-1188

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FRIDAY 8/23

Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals

As the mainstay of the group that began life as an upstart ensemble originally dubbed The Young Rascals, Felix Cavaliere has every right to claim the Rascals name as part of his handle, despite the fact that the last full Rascals reunion was in 2013. After all, he contributed to the vocals and organ that gave the group their singular soulful sound, one that distinguished them from the British Invasion bands that preceded them in chart success. Indeed, the Rascals were early champions of a genre that came to be known as “blue-eyed soul,” delivering a steady string of hits circa 1966-67: “How Can I Be Sure,” “A Beautiful Morning,” “People Got To Be Free” and “Groovin.’” While Cavaliere has kept the band’s memory alive on tour, his solo albums have dug deep into the R&B firmament, most significantly when he recorded the aptly titled Nudge It Up a Notch with legendary guitarist and Stax sideman Steve Cropper. With a keyboard style that borrows heavily from influential organist Booker T. Jones, he maintains that soulful stance that earned him and the Rascals induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, as well as recognition from the Songwriter Hall of Fame, Vocal Group Hall of Fame and Grammy Hall of Fame. At age 76, Cavaliere’s still “groovin’” and encouraging the rest of us to do the same—something everyone should have time to do with a four-day stretch at the Egyptian. (Lee Zimmerman) Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, $43–$53, Aug. 22-24, 8 p.m.; Aug. 25, 6 p.m., all ages, egyptiantheatrecompany.org

Drab Majesty

While hip-hop gets heaps of credit for introducing mainstream audiences to mixed genres (hello, Lil Nas X), outsider pop music has been a force for change for 40-plus years. Intergalactic duo Drab Majesty continue to push the envelope by mixing gothic folk and icy darkwave, a combination they’ve perfected on fresh new full-length Modern Mirror. The atmospheric eight-song album mixes reverb-drenched, fingerpicked guitars with ghostly synths and crystalline snares, creating a hallucinatory form of art-pop that perfectly matches the androgynous, surreal style of Deb Demure and Mona D, the noms de guerre of Andrew Clinco and Alex Nicolaou. Studio backstories can often be a bore, but Drab Majesty soar above the fray with the tale of Modern Mirror. After picking up cues from past tour mates as disparate as Smashing Pumpkins and Deafheaven, Deb and Mona decamped to Athens, Greece, to write and record their third record, channeling the sun-kissed landscapes of the here and now and iconic myths from millennia past. Reflecting and reinterpreting the classic story of Ovid’s “Narcissus,” about a man so full of himself he dies staring at his own reflection, Modern Mirror’s eight songs chart a path through dissociation and heartbreak. The main character (or, perhaps, the listener) loosens the ties that bind the self, chasing a heartless, digital version of love and intimacy that proves to be devastatingly destructive. If it all sounds too high-minded, don’t worry: Drab Majesty’s emotional synth-pop is surprisingly immersive and danceable. The minimalist electronica and cinematic pop of Xeno & Oaklander and Body of Light set the stage for a revelatory evening. (Nick McGregor) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $15, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

Felix Cavaliere as it dips into melancholic moments, there’s always a bright chord progression to bring you back. The nearly six minute “No Crying in Baseball” from Moneystealer starts with only a light synth, guitar and those airy vocals, but by the song’s end, we end up in a somewhat loud place, one that’s earned with a welcome swell of drums. When Starover Blue reach these precious loud moments, you can’t help but feel like you’ve earned it, too. To contrast, local Provo band Kambree brings purposefully loud, thrumming pop rock that in no way shies away from earnestness. Baby Days was released this July, so this show should be full of fresh tracks. While I doubt Starover Blue will seem like a downer after the kind of energy Kambree boasts, it’ll be a marked tonal shift for the night. (Parker S. Mortensen) Kilby Court, 748 S. Kilby Court, 7 p.m., $7, all ages, kilbycourt.com

Starover Blue

SUNDAY, 8/25 Starover Blue, Kambree

SELENA ROX

30 | AUGUST 22, 2019

Drab Majesty, Xeno & Oaklander, Body of Light

DAMIAN RICO

Exotic Burgers

THURSDAY 8/22

BY NICK McGREGOR, PARKER S. MORTENSEN, NIC RENSHAW & LEE ZIMMERMAN

Starover Blue’s latest single “Anemone,” from August 2018, could be such a loud song. Its pop synth and airy vocals feel like they could punch through at any moment and become a boisterous ballad, but Starover Blue chooses instead for a gentle and subdued energy. It’s emblematic of the groups’ discography, which spans one full length album (Spacegeist, 2016) and an EP (Moneystealer, 2017). The group consistently chooses to bring an energy that feels like it’s on the cusp of becoming loud, but never quite does. As a result, it’s comforting music, in the sense that it’s easy to digest and that it’s gloriously cheerful. Even

GARY BARNES

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NFL Sunday Ticket

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LIVE

THIS WEEK’S MUSIC PICKS

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AUGUST 22, 2019 | 31

DAILY DINNER & A SHOW

OPEN 365 DAYS A YEAR • NO COVER EVER AUGUST 21

PLAY GEEKS WHO DRINK TRIVIA AT 6:30 BREAKING BINGO AT 8:30 GRACIE’S PATIO PONDEROSA WITH JIM FISH AND MOUNTAIN COUNTRY 7PM

AUGUST 22

AUGUST 25

SUNDAY BRUNCH 10AM-3PM STACY BOARD TRIO 3PM TOURING ARTISTS THE SMOKY KNIGHTS 7PM

AUGUST 26

TBA 7PM

MONDAY NIGHT JAZZ SESSION WITH DAVID HALLIDAY AND THE JVQ 7PM

AUGUST 23

AUGUST 27

THE LEGENDARY GUITAR SHORTY 6PM DJ FELL SWOOP 10PM

AUGUST 24

SATURDAY BRUNCH 10AM-3PM COLLEGE FOOTBALL DINNER AND A SHOW WITH TOURING ARTISTS SNEAKY PETE AND THE SECRET WEAPONS 6PM MOAB BREWERY CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT 3PM-6PM DJ CHASEONE2 10PM

TUESDAY NIGHT BLUEGRASS JAM WITH PIXIE AND THE PARTYGRASS BOYS

AUGUST 28

DINNER AND A SHOW WITH JAY MARTIN AND THE ONE WAY FLIGHT 7PM

ANTHONY CROOK

CATCH ALL FOOTBALL GAMES @ GRACIE’S TUESDAY 8/27 Mogwai, David Pajo

Post-rock is a genre with varied access points, drawing fans of various genres into the fold via various types of artists. Metalheads might find themselves enraptured by Boris’ crushing wall-of-sound approach; punks tend to gravitate toward the scrappy abrasion of Slint; even Top 40 junkies can appreciate Talk Talk’s patient deconstructions of new wave and synthpop. For the indie rock set, Scotland’s Mogwai (along with their Canadian contemporaries Godspeed You! Black Emperor) is the perfect gateway drug into the vast world of post-rock. However, Mogwai operates with a self-aware sense of humor that stands in stark contrast to GY!BE’s cerebral, occasionally po-faced sensibilities; not many bands in their vein would have the guts to open their debut album with an audio clip of a girl reading off a gushing review of their own live performance (“Yes! I Am A Long Way From Home”). Still, that doesn’t mean Mogwai skimps out on the shamelessly pretty soundscapes post-rock is known for. On classic cuts like “Mogwai Fear Satan” and “Hunted by a Freak,” as well as more recent material like “Brain Sweeties,” the band generates unexpected beauty, combining Pixies-esque dynamics with shoegazey melodic sensibilities, blowing both up to cinematic proportions. Mogwai comes to SLC joined by postrock veteran and former Slint guitarist David Pajo. (Nic Renshaw) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $25, 21+, metromusichall.com

The Mountain Goats

326 S. West Temple • Open 11-2am, M-F 10-2am Sat & Sun • graciesslc.com • 801-819-7565

Mogwai

WEDNESDAY 8/28

The Mountain Goats, Lydia Loveless

In the twilight years of the 20th century, John Darnielle—under the moniker The Mountain Goats—clawed his way to indie stardom through sheer, unbridled songwriting talent, all filtered through a wall of lo-fi tape hiss. Darnielle spun countless yarns of love, loss, addiction and redemption that eventually culminated in his 2002 magnum opus All Hail West Texas. Since the release of AHWT, Darnielle has cleaned up and fleshed out The Mountain Goats’ sound substantially, and at this point, they’re a full four-man band on a respected indie label. However, just because they’re a bit more polished and accessible doesn’t mean albums like Get Lonely or The Sunset Tree don’t showcase every bit of the razor-sharp wit and writerly attention to detail that garnered the Goats one of the most devoted fandoms in indie. Recent years have seen Darnielle move toward a more album-oriented approach—2012’s Beat the Champ was inspired by his lifelong love of professional wrestling and 2017’s Goths was a series of snapshots documenting the rise and fall of ’80s goth culture. Mountain Goats live sets are famously engaging affairs, with Darnielle often prefacing songs with long anecdotes about their origin or meaning, and Salt Lake will be treated to just such a set as part of their nationwide tour in support of their newest release, In League With Dragons. Ohioan alt-country singer-songwriter Lydia Loveless opens. (NR) Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $25, 21+, metromusichall.com

JEREMY LANGE

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LIVE

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TONY MOTTRAM

CONCERTS & CLUBS

FRIDAY 8/23

UB40 40th Anniversary Tour

In the mid-1970s, England was suddenly overtaken by reggae fever. With Chris Blackwell’s Island Records label leading the way, the Brits made stars of such emerging artists as Bob Marley, Toots and the Maytals, Jimmy Cliff and a host of other Jamaican musicians who pioneered the first reggae wave. It was only natural, then, that several homegrown acts would follow their lead. UB40 was among the most successful of the bunch, as proven by their dozens of hits at home. The biggest of all was a pumped-up cover of Neil Diamond’s “Red Red Wine,” which became a chart staple for a remarkable 100 weeks in a row. Specializing in revamped cover tunes, they continued to find extraordinary success world-

THURSDAY 8/22 LIVE MUSIC

Ashberry Jam (Lighthouse Lounge) Benyaro (Canyons Village) Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 30 Honey Buns (Gallivan Center) Levi Conner (Rye) NVM + The Violet Temper + Mortigi Tempo (Metro Music Hall) Old 40 + Medicine Company + Heavy Rollers (Urban Lounge) Reggae at the Royal (The Royal) Simply B (Hog Wallow Pub) The Naked Waiters (Velour) Tony Oros + Joshy Soul & The Cool (Lake Effect)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dusty Grooves (Twist) Dueling Pianos: Drew & JD (Tavernacle) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz On The Patio (Twist) Pitch Control Thursdays w. Victor Menegaux (Downstairs) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Rabbit in the

wide, becoming the recipients of four Grammy nominations for Best Reggae Album, a Brit Award nomination for Best British Band, England’s Heritage Award and international sales of more than 70 million records in the process. The diverse background of the original lineup was also striking, and given the cultural clashes of the present day, it still seems so. The departure of original vocalist Ali Campbell in 2008 led to a struggle over rights to the name and inevitable court proceedings, but today, five of the six members of the seminal lineup still carry on under the UB40 banner. Likewise, the band’s devotion to ska, reggae, pop and the combination thereof remains essential to their signature sound. Be prepared to get in the groove, the effects of red, red wine aside. (Lee Zimmerman) Dejoria Center, 970 N. State Road 32, Kamas, 8 p.m., $35–$95 dejoriacenter.com

Moon (Sky) Thirsty Thursday w/ DJ Dirty Dave + Cona (Alleged)

KARAOKE

Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ Todd Krause (Union Tavern) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck w/ Mikey Danger (Chakra Lounge) Live Band Karaoke w/ TIYB (Club 90)

FRIDAY 8/23 LIVE MUSIC

Bay Faction + Fashion Jackson + Kipper Snack (Kilby Court) Breezeway + Queendilla + The Cold Year (The Rad Shack) Burlesque & The Beats (Prohibition) Carrie Myers (Harp and Hound) Colt .46 (Outlaw Saloon) Drab Majesty + Xeno & Oaklander + Body Of Light (Urban Lounge) see p. 30 Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 30 Guitar Shorty (Gracie’s) Jeff Crosby (Garage on Beck) Jeff Scott Soto + Jason Bieler (Liquid Joe’s)

Johnny Utah + Ivouries (Ice Haüs) Lavelle Dupree (Downstairs) Micah Willis (Velour) Mikael Lewis (Snowbird) Mountain Boogaloo (Hog Wallow Pub) Nick Passey & The Perpetual Sadness (HandleBar) Nightcaps (The Spur) Oston + Bri Ray + Adam Turley (Kilby Court) Pop Warner + Brekkie + Petr Czubak + Common Folk + Chris Bernstorf (The Underground) Quiet Riot + Dead Fervor + Reloaded (The Royal) Rusty Tinder (O.P. Rockwell) Pigeon Hole + Smoke Siignals + Zac Ivie (Metro Music Hall) Rezz (Saltair) Stone Mecca + Will Baxter Band (ABG’s) Sydnie Keddington + DJ Chaseone2 + Swantourage (Lake Effect) Superbubble (Lighthouse Lounge) Thievery Corporation (Snow Park Outdoor Amphitheater) TYR + Yexotay (Soundwell) UB40 (DeJoria Center) see above

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51)

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AUGUST 22, 2019 | 35

BAR FLY 4760 S 900 E, SLC 801-590-9940 | facebook.com/theroyalslc

www.theroyalslc.com

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

KARAOKE & pick-a-prize bingo

wednesday 8/21

karaoke @ 9:00 i bingo @ 9:30, 10:30, 11:30 thursDAY 8/22 Reggae at the Royal

PARKER S. MORTENSEN

GRASSY DREAD $ amfs & long islands 5 1/2 off nachos & Free pool

friday 8/23

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36 | AUGUST 22, 2019

X-WIFE’S PLACE

Live Music

quiet riot with special guests

dead fervor and reloaded saturday 8/24

Live Music

Dance with DJ JASON LOWE TUESDAY 8/27

open mic night YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM coming soon

FOZZY 10/18 the iron maidens 10/28 the lacs 12/10 static x 9/8

 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports  ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Jskee (The Spur) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Funky Friday w/ DJ Godina (Gracie’s) Hot Noise (The Red Door) Natural Causes (Club 90) New Wave ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Prohibition After Dark Live DJ’s (Prohibition) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Karaoke (Club 48) Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Highlander) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke (The Union Tavern)

SATURDAY 8/24 LIVE MUSIC

Allies Always Lie + Low Life + Hylian + No Company + The Conscience + Saving Sydney (Kilby Court) Alternator (Ice Haüs) Barefoot John Whipple & Erin Stout (HandleBar) Blind Magus + Horrible Penny + Karl Ricky (The Beehive) Burlesque & The Beats (Prohibition) Burnell Washburn + Malev Da Shinobi + Mousley + Gentry Gox + Ideal Dialect + DJ Right Star (Urban Lounge) Cam (Eccles Center)

From now until the end of time, when I think of “dive bar,” X-Wife’s Place will be conjured up in my mind. It’s probably my favorite dive bar in Salt Lake, for reasons beyond me. What do you say about a good dive bar? You have nothing to say, because you have nothing to think. For the moment, your world is a pool hall and a row of pinball tables. Later, you step outside and emerge from the cocoon, a few drinks heavier and no better for it. But while inside, shit, why you tryin’ to worry? Play the jukebox and watch the game. Hit a corner pocket. Don’t think about it. When I arrived, I watched the people playing pool and the Lasko brand fan blowing, keeping them cool—the same shitty fan propped in my hot-as-hell bedroom, nursing me to sleep all summer. I ordered a Press seltzer because that’s what you do in this summer of 2019, and I went out back to try and bum a cigarette and a lighter. A nice girl obliged, and I moved a few yards away to the red-cushioned seats in the garagelike area that is graffitied all to hell. It reminded me of parties spent in out-of-town parents’ garages and basements. Like everything at X-Wife’s Place, it feels maintained to the point of functioning, no more and no less. Oh, and consider using your home bathroom before coming, because if you find yourself needing one … like I said, functioning. No more, no less. (Parker S. Mortensen) X-Wife’s Place, 465 S. 700 East, 801-532-1954

Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 30 Harbor Patrol + Tonic Zephyr + Drusky + Blue Rainboots (Velour) Ira Wolf (Rye) Jacob T. Skeen (Lighthouse Lounge) Louisiana 801 + Crescent Super Band (Holladay City Hall Park) Matt Calder + DJ Mr. Ramirez + Sin City Soul (Lake Effect) Mokie Band (Garage on Beck) Morgan & McCune (Legends at Park City Mountain) The Motet (Canyons Village) Natural Causes (Club 90) Ol Fashion Depot (Johnny’s on Second) One Million Moths + Willard + Lamia + Wysteria LeVine + The Bearded Femme + Jezebel Jet + Sissy Riot + Tony Berrow + Loke + Eden flesh + Chelsea Siren + Terra Flesh (Metro Music Hall) Rage Against The Supremes (The Spur) The Reverend and the Revelry (Harp and Hound) Rick Gerber (Miner’s Plaza) Skillet & Sevendust + Pop Evil + Devour the Day (Rockwell) Sneaky Pete & The Secret Weapons (Gracie’s) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Teresa Eggertsen (Snowbird)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos feat. Michael Harris (Tavernacle) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) DJ Jsee (The Spur) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) DJ Latu (Green Pig)

DJ Pauly D (The Depot) DJ Soul Pause (Twist) Gothic + Industrial + Dark 80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Prohibition After Dark Live DJ’s (Prohibition) Retro Riot w/ DJ Jason Lowe (The Royal) Scandalous Saturdays w/ DJ Logik (Lumpy’s Highland) Sky Saturdays w/ Bangarang (Sky) Top 40 + EDM + Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Areaoke DJ Kevin (Area 51) Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Karaoke (Club 48) Karaoke (Highlander) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke (Union Tavern) Karaoke w/ B-Rad (Club 90)

SUNDAY 8/25 LIVE MUSIC

Christine Kinslow (Park Silly Sunday Market) Felix Cavaliere’s Rascals (Egyptian Theatre) see p. 30 Joyful Whiskey (Billy Blanco’s) The Last Ten Seconds of Life (Liquid Joe’s) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Marv Hamilton (Garage on Beck) Mister Sister Trio (Park Silly Sunday Market) Ok Mayday (Loading Dock) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Smoky Knights (Gracie’s) Starover Blue + Kambree (Kilby Court) see p. 30

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP

NEW HIMALAYAN PUB FUSION SMALL PLATES MENU

$2 VINYL SALE SEPT 13TH & 14TH 2019

Most LP's valued @ $2 - $7, some $8 - $10 Over 1500 LP's added on both Fri & Sat AM Also CD's & DVD's @ $1.00, 45's & cassettes @ $0.25 “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

Great Vinyl at Bargain $2.00 prices TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

KARAOKE THAT DOESN’T SUCK EVERY THURSDAY W/ MIKEY DANGER

DANCE MUSIC ON FRIDAY & SATURDAY

TUESDAYS 9PM BREAKING BINGO

CHAKRALOUNGE.NET OPEN NIGHTLY 364 S STATE ST. SALT LAKE CITY 5 PM - 1 AM

WEDNESDAYS OPEN JAM NIGHT @8 W/ KATE LEDEUCE

$4 JAME $5 SHOT & SON BEER DAILY

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NO COVER THUR. AUG. 22ND

Friday August 23th

PIPERDOWNPUB.COM 1492 S. STATE | 801.468.1492

Nick Passey and the Perpetual Sadness

JOHNNY UTAH & IVOURIES

Saturday August 24th ALTERNATOR

7 E. 4800 S. (1 BLOCK WEST OF STATE ST.) MURRAY 801-953-0588 • ICEHAUSBAR.COM

Barefoot John Whipple & Erin Stout

751 N. 300 W. handlebarslc.com

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 37

“WILD WEST TOUR”

Friday August 23th

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FRI. AUG. 23TH THOMAS GABRIEL GRANDSON OF JOHNNY CASH!

Dog Friendly Patio is open!

STARY OLSA MEDIEVEL CONCERT

Saturday August 24th

KITCHENS OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT FULL VEGAN & OMNI MENUS • WEEKEND BRUNCH

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38 | AUGUST 22, 2019

BE OUTDOORSY... DRINK ON THE PATIO!

CONCERTS & CLUBS COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET The Yawpers (Metro Music Hall) The Vibrators + Jail City Rockers + Power Beers + DJ Nix Beat + DJ Retrograde (Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Sunday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Nick Greco & Blues on First (Gracie’s)

KARAOKE

Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Karaoke (Cheers To You) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

LIVE MUSIC

8.21 SIMPLY B

8.22 LORIN WALKER MADSEN

8.23 MOUNTAIN BOOGALOO

8.24 ENTWOOD

Brandon Santini (Lake Effect) Lynn Jones (The Spur) Orenda + Echo Muse + Far From + Oxford Grey (Loading Dock) Sleepspent + Sunsleeper + Picnics at Soap Rock + Yes Man (The Underground) The Stray Cats (Red Butte Garden Amphitheater) Vic Mensa + Jesse (The Complex)

ting star at 8.26 OPEN BLUES & MORE JAM

8.27 DIGGIN DIRT

Industry Night Mondays w/ DJ Juggy (Trails) Monday Night Blues & More Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/ David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam w/ West Temple Taildraggers (Green Pig) Open Mic (Outlaw Saloon)

KARAOKE

MONDAY 8/26

SPIRITS . FOOD . LOCAL BEER

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Burly-Oke (Prohibition) Kick Ass Karaoke (HandleBar) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke (Highlander) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Cheers To You)

TUESDAY 8/27 LIVE MUSIC

Alec Shaw + Brooklyn Kohl (Kilby Court) Collective Soul + Gin Blossoms (Sandy Amphitheater) Corey Smaller (The Spur)

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FRIDAY: DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00 pm

SATURDAY: DJ Soul Pause @9:00pm

SUNDAY: Brunch & Jam Band on the patio @ 1 - 4 pm Breaking Bingo. @ 9:00pm pot $2550

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck! @ 10:00pm

Come enjoy the patio! 32 EXCHANGE PLACE | 801-322-3200 | TWISTSLC.COM |

@twistslc

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 39

TUESDAY:

$2 Coors Light Twist-off

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WEDNESDAY: “The Freak Out!” feat DJ NixBeats @ 10:00 Coors Light $2.50

MONDAY : $3 pints local micro-brews Geeks Who Drink Trivia @ 7:00pm

THURSDAY: 90’s Dance Party on the Patio! 9021YO! then DJ Gabriel’s LUSH @ 9:00.

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40 | AUGUST 22, 2019

DAILY ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, AUGUST 23

TERENCE HANSEN

EVERY MONDAY

BLUES JAM W/ WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

SATURDAY, AUGUST 24

DJ LATU

EVERY SUNDAY

$12 BRUNCH 10AM - 2PM ADULT TRIVIA @ 7PM

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$2 MIX & NEW! MATCH TACOS $2 TECATE $2 SHOT OF TEQUILA

LUNCH SPECIAL

MONDAY - FRIDAY

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC 801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET Dave Matthews Band (Usana Amphitheatre) Erin Kelly + Mercedes Johnson (Velour) Jenny Don’t and The Spurs + The Bully + Kelli Moyle (Urban Lounge) Lynn Jones + Matthew Bashaw (Lake Effect) Mogwai + David Pajo (Metro Music Hall) see p. 32 Night Star Jazz Orchestra (Gallivan Center) Sleepspent + Drusky + Hollow Bones (The Rad Shack)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

GREAT FOOD

$2 TUESDAYS

CONCERTS & CLUBS

Groove Tuesdays (Johnny’s on Second) Locals Lounge (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Tuesday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (Gracie’s) Tuesday Night Jazz (Alibi)

WEDNESDAY 8/28 LIVE MUSIC

Alicia Stockman (Park City Library)

Burly University (Prohibition) The Gonticks + Chaple + Herring (Kilby Court) Jay Martin & The One Way Flight (Gracie’s) Morrissey (Saltair) The Mountain Goats + Lydia Loveless (Metro Music Hall) see p. 32 Nick Welch + Geoff Miller Trio + DJ Chaseone2 (Lake Effect) Nick and Palmer (The Spur) Papa Roach (Union Event Center) Posh Rhythm Orchestra (Gallivan Center) Subwave Sound + Moodlite + Simba Sax + SKlurp (Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) DJ Juggy (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos (Keys on Main) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Open Mic (Velour) Roaring Wednesdays: Swing Dance Lessons (Prohibition) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

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BEER l Festiva

PHOTOS BY JOSH SCHEUERMAN

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 41

L L A U O Y K N A TH

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Utah

42 | AUGUST 22, 2019

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PRESENTS

RENDEZVOUS SATURDAY 2PM-8PM THE GATEWAY

Rendezvous WINTER

SEPTEMBER 28 NORTH RIO GRANDE ST.

MOUNTAIN CULTURE FESTIVAL

MOVIE PREMIERES • SPEAKER SERIES • POW CLIMATE CHANGE PANEL DISCUSSION

@RNDZVS_UT | VAMOOSEUTAH.COM/RENDEZVOUS2019

FILM REVIEW

Man o’ War

CINEMA

Angel Has Fallen dials down the franchise’s machismo, and turns up a critique of militarism.rd Butler in Angel Has Fallen BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

LIONSGATE FILMS

Gerard Butler in Angel Has Fallen ity to the scenes between Butler and Nolte, allowing the film to seem not completely disingenuous when it tries to acknowledge that a legacy of violence can’t help but leave people scarred in ways they don’t always know how to process. None of which is to say that Angel Has Fallen entirely abandons the gritty powpow-big-ass-’splosion sensibility of its two predecessors. Plenty of things—and people—get blown up or shot up real good over the course of two hours, but instead of making the antagonist some non-American extremist, this installment turns Banning’s adversary into America’s own history of endless warfare. Gerard Butler might not be the ideal actor to deliver that message, since his American accent still sounds like he’s chewing on something to avoid sounding Scottish. Still, a dose of wokeness was about the last thing I ever expected from this franchise. Mike Banning is a manly name, and it’s OK to acknowledge that sometimes, the things a man in America is expected to do are pretty messed up. CW

ANGEL HAS FALLEN

| CITY WEEKLY |

BB.5 Gerard Butler Morgan Freeman Danny Huston R

PAIRS WITH Olympus Has Fallen (2013) Gerard Butler Aaron Eckhart R

Snitch (2013) Dwayne Johnson Susan Sarandon PG-13

London Has Fallen (2016) Gerard Butler Aaron Eckhart R

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 43

The Fugitive (1993) Harrison Ford Tommy Lee Jones PG-13

Pinkett Smith taking the role of the dogged law-enforcement officer on our hero’s trail. The action is simple and straightforward— directed by one-time stunt coordinator Ric Roman Waugh (Snitch)—and continues the trilogy’s well-established tradition of having approximately one out of every three lines of Banning’s dialogue consist entirely of either “Shit!” or “Fuck!” There’s also a conspiracy to unravel, and while it should take approximately 12 seconds for any audience member to figure out who the real villain is, that’s not entirely the focus here. Early on, we get a scene between Banning and his old Army buddy Jennings (Danny Huston)—who is now running a Blackwater-esque private paramilitary company—waxing philosophical over the life of a warrior. It’s a set up for a movie that spends quite a bit of time on what it means to be turned into a weapon, and to have a government that doesn’t seem to worry very much about pointing those human weapons at anything it considers even slightly threatening. Angel Has Fallen really leans into that idea when Banning turns for help to his long-estranged father, a Vietnam veteran who abandoned the family and has become a survivalist in the West Virginia woods. It’s a little something extra that Angel casts Nick Nolte as Banning pére, his wild beard and harsh rasp of a voice doing plenty of the heavy lifting at conveying a man left unfit for civilized society after his military experience. There’s a surprising sensitiv-

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ike Banning: There’s a manly name for you. It’s the kind of name you’d find as the hard-drinking hero of a pulp detective novel, or a 1970s cop show. And that’s why it seemed like the perfect name for the tough-guy Secret Service agent played by Gerard Butler in 2013’s Olympus Has Fallen and 2016’s London Has Fallen. This is the kind of alpha-male you want on your team when the chips are down—someone who can single-handedly take down a squad of terrorists, torture-stabbing dudes for information and tossing off more-thanvaguely racist quips about sending the bad guys back to “Fuckheadistan.” If you’re going to make a lunkheaded action franchise, give that protagonist a lunkheaded action name. The Fallen movies have been so resolute in their throwback patriotic machismo that it’s more than slightly disorienting to get a whiff of the red meat-less meal Angel Has Fallen chooses to serve up. Mike Banning is dealing with the long-term consequences of a life of violence—dizzying headaches, insomnia, popping pain medication—as the film opens, with the president (Morgan Freeman, having graduated since the first movie from speaker of the House to vice president and now the Oval Office) considering Banning for an upcoming opening as director of the Secret Service. But before Banning has a chance to consider leaving the field for a safer life behind a desk and enjoying his wife (Piper Perabo, replacing Radha Mitchell) and daughter, a sneak attack wipes out most of the president’s security detail and leaves the POTUS comatose. Evidence points to Banning as a conspirator in the attack, which of course means he’s going to have to escape from custody and attempt to clear his name. Soon we’re off on something with more than a few whiffs of The Fugitive, with Jada

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Film release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net ANGEL HAS FALLEN BB.5 See review on p. 43. Opens Aug. 23 at theaters valleywide. (R) DAVID CROSBY: REMEMBER MY NAME BBB There’s a lot of history—both the personal history of the film’s subject, and the history of an entire era in American popular music history—swirling through director A.J. Eaton’s documentary, but it truly comes into focus when it lets that subject speak in the present tense. Producer Cameron Crowe serves as the behindthe-camera interviewer asking David Crosby to reflect on his life and career, from his days as founding member of The Byrds to his long-time association with Stephen Stills, Graham Nash and Neil Young. We get a chance to see the then-72-year-old Crosby on tour, his voice still strong and resonant despite battles with drug abuse and health scares that should have had him in the ground years ago. Yet the real resonance here comes when Crosby gets brutally honest in his self-reflection, contemplating how many people his behavior over the years has alienated. As interesting as it is to reflect on the half-century in the public eye that led up to this film, it’s kind of heartbreaking to watch a compulsive screwup face the twilight of his life with such a profound sense of regret. Opens Aug. 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—Scott Renshaw LUCE BBBB Ten years ago, a wealthy white American couple (Naomi Watts

and Tim Roth) adopted a former child soldier from an African war zone. Today, Luce (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) is a high-school star athlete and soon-to-be valedictorian. But is one of his teachers (Octavia Spencer) trying to scupper the life of promise and opportunity he and his adoptive parents have worked so hard to build—and if so, why? Before you realize it, family drama has morphed into psychological suspense as we struggle to determine where the truth lies among secondhand accounts of disturbing adolescent wrongdoing and warring notions of racial and cultural identity, acceptance and assimilation, among Luce and his friends, as well as the adults around them. Director Julius Onah, working from J.C. Lee’s play, announces himself as a major new talent with this, his third feature, as he surreptitiously elides the biases, preconceptions and delusions of his characters with our own. This challenging film is as much about us as we digest it as it is about where the story goes. It’s a provocative litmus test that lets no one off the hook. Opens Aug. 23 at theaters valleywide. (R)—MaryAnn Johanson ONE CHILD NATION BBB.5 Inspired by her own role as a new mother, Chinese-American director Nanfu Wang explores the era of her childhood in China— the time in the 1980s and 1990s when the government enforced a strict “one child per family” population-control policy. What she finds is deeply disturbing—tales of forced abortions and sterilizations—and she isn’t reluctant to use unsettling images to drive the terrible events home. But that’s practically just the prologue, as Wang finds herself down a rabbit hole of how Chinese state orphanages turned mandatory family-size austerity into a for-profit enterprise, selling babies—mostly girls—to overseas adoptions. There are fascinating moments of cultural observation, from the unsurprising results when every family wants their one child to be a boy to the kinds of propaganda employed by the Chinese government to drive its policy home. But One Child Family finds its emotional hook in the consequences of a government controlling reproductive freedom, including separating twins and punishing uncooperative parents. While one

Utah family works at creating a database that might potentially reunite children with birth families, there’s still the disturbing reality of what divided them in the first place. Opens Aug. 23 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (R)—SR OVERCOMER [not yet reviewed] Faith-based drama of a high school coach facing personal and professional upheaval. Opens Aug. 23 at theaters valleywide. (PG) READY OR NOT [not yet reviewed] A prospective bride (Samara Weaving) faces a terrifying initiation “game” at the hands of her future in-laws. Opens Aug. 21 at theaters valleywide. (R)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS A QUEST FOR MEANING At Main Library, Aug. 27, 7 p.m. (NR) TANK GIRL At Tower Theater, Aug. 23-24, 11 p.m. & Aug. 25, noon. (R)

CURRENT RELEASES THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE 2 B Why Angry Birds 2? Because the first one made some money, and there’s built-in name recognition. That’s it. This time out, the Birds That Don’t Fly (except by catapult) join forces with the enemy green pigs from another remote island to repel an assault by the eagles of yet another island none of them knew about before. This assault is led by Zeta (Leslie Jones), for no apparent reason other than a jilted romance that left her bitter. Just like a woman! Red (Jason Sudeikis) will lead the Angry Birds, only proving that he should have, in fact, left all leadership duties to smart, capable Silver (Rachel Bloom). But never fear! Malecoded animated characters remain resolutely at the center of this faux-woke narrative, which wants to have its male protagonist and its nods to feminism at the same time. (PG)—MAJ BLINDED BY THE LIGHT BB.5 Director Gurinder Chadha returns to the crowd-pleasing generational-culture-clash comedy of Bend It Like Beckham, but rarely breaks free of formulaic plot dynamics. In 1987 in the small English town of Luton, Pakistani-British teen Javed (Viveik Kalra), who longs to be a writer, finds a spokesman for his dreams when a friend turns him on to the music of Bruce Springsteen. At times, Chadha appears on the verge of turning the film into a juke-Boss musical, with the best sequences involving exuberant song-and-dance numbers. But while Kalra makes for an endearing protagonist, he’s stuck in a movie that hits every obvious beat involving tradition-bound first-generation immigrant parents. Attempts to provide political significance with the inclusion of anti-immigrant sentiment in Thatcher-era Britain never feel

44 | AUGUST 22, 2019

fully integrated into the too-familiar rhythms of a kid who’s got to get out while he’s young. (PG-13)—SR FAST & FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS & SHAW BB.5 Two supporting tough guys from the Fast & Furious franchise get a blithe spinoff that keeps with the F&F aesthetic by disregarding the laws of physics and ultimately declaring itself to be about “family.” The CIA recruits government agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and British ex-spy Shaw (Jason Statham) to work together—though they ostensibly hate each other—along with Shaw’s sister/rogue MI6 agent (Vanessa Kirby) to stop a deadly virus from falling into the hands of a semi-bionic bad guy (Idris Elba). Shaw used to be a villain, but all is forgiven now, I guess. He and Hobbs squabble amusingly, and director David Leitch carries off well-choreographed fight sequences and chases. But everything in between, especially Hobbs’ tacked-on family issues, is tedious, and it overstays its welcome by a good 30 minutes. Like I said, it’s a Fast & Furious movie. (PG-13)—Eric D. Snider GOOD BOYS BBB A decade-plus on from the distasteful celebration of toxic male teenhood that was Superbad, here’s a super good, unexpectedly sweet celebration of modern ascendant malehood. Three sixth-grade boys (Jacob Tremblay, Keith L. Williams and Brady Noon) spend a day ditching school to vie against older teen girls (Midori Francis and Molly Gordon) in a complicated plot involving drones, the mildest sort of party drugs and trying to reach a grade-school “kissing party.” Mostly it’s about worrying that, at the tender age of 11, one might become a “social piranha,” about securing consent to engage in any physical contact with another kid, and about ensuring that nothing one is doing constitutes bullying. These kids today, with their physical and psychological boundaries! “We’re not kids, we’re tweens!” they declare, staking a claim on a developmental stage that we adults never even realized existed. (R)—MAJ WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE BB.5 Richard Linklater’s adaptation of Maria Semple’s novel casts Cate Blanchett as Bernadette Fox—once a rising star as an architect, now a generally anti-social mess adored by her daughter, Bee (Emma Nelson), and a source of confusion to her husband (Billy Crudup). The story provides a gradually unfolding explanation behind Bernadette’s neuroses, offering depth to the character but also occasionally indulging Blanchett’s predilection for playing to the balcony seats. Eventually, Bernadette vanishes—a development that opens the novel, and turns it into a mystery with Bee trying to understand her mother as a person. It comes as a shock in this much more chronological narrative when Bee says of her mother, “We live for each other;” while this version provides a solid story of stifled creativity, it doesn’t center the mother-daughter dynamic in a way that allows for emotional closure. (PG-13)—SR

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The American idiom “stay in your lane” has come to mean “mind your own business,” and usually has a pejorative sense. But I’d like to expand it and soften it for your use in the coming weeks. Let’s define it as meaning “stick to what you’re good at and know about” or “don’t try to operate outside your area of expertise” or “express yourself in ways that you have earned the right to do.” Author Zadie Smith says that this is good advice for writers. “You have to work out what it is you can’t do, obscure it, and focus on what works,” she attests. Apply that counsel to your own sphere or field, Leo.

up, Capricorn, because the coming weeks will be a favorable time to celebrate and cultivate your own intuition. You might generate amazing results as you learn to trust it more and figure out how to deepen your relationship with it.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian environmentalist Edward Abbey once formulated a concise list of his requirements for living well. “One must be reasonable in one’s demands on life,” he wrote. “For myself, all that I ask is: 1. accurate information; 2. coherent knowledge; 3. deep understanding; 4. infinite loving wisdom; 5. no more kidney stones, please.” According to my analysis of the astrologiVIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Yisrael Kristal was a Polish Jew born under the sign of Virgo cal omens, now would be an excellent time for you to create your in 1903. His father was a scholar of the Torah, and he began own tally of the Five Crucial Provisions. Be bold and precise as you studying Judaism and learning Hebrew at age 3. He lived a long inform life about your needs. life and had many adventures, working as a candle-maker and a candy-maker. When the Red Army liberated the Auschwitz PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): concentration camp in 1945, Kristal emerged as one of the sur- “We may be surprised at whom God sends to answer our prayers,” vivors. He went on to live to the age of 113. Because of the chaos wrote author Janette Oke. I suspect that observation will apply of World War I, he had never gotten to do his bar mitzvah when to you in the coming weeks. If you’re an atheist or agnostic, I’ll he’d turned 13. So he did it much later, in his old age. I foresee a rephrase her formulation for you: “We may be surprised at whom comparable event coming up soon in your life, Virgo. You will Life sends to answer our entreaties.” There’s only one important claim a reward or observe a milestone or collect a blessing you thing you have to do to cooperate with this experience: set aside your expectations about how help and blessings might appear. weren’t able to enjoy earlier. ARIES (March 21-April 19): It’s not cost-efficient to recycle plastic. Sorting and processing the used materials to make them available for fresh stuff is at least as expensive as creating new plastic items from scratch. On the other hand, sending used plastic to a recycling center makes it far less likely that it will end up in the oceans and waterways, harming living creatures. So in this case, the short-term financial argument in favor of recycling is insubstantial, whereas the moral argument is strong. I invite you to apply a similar perspective to your upcoming decisions.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot,” wrote author Audre Lorde. As an astrologer I would add this nuance: Although what Lourde says is true, some phases of your life are more favorable than others to seek deep and rapid education. For example, the coming weeks will bring you especially rich teachings if you incite the learning process now.

1. Peru's capital 2. Actor Wilson who has appeared with Ben Stiller in a dozen films 3. Prop for a magician 4. Helper takes a chance? 5. ____ Brasi, enforcer in "The Godfather"

50. Diary passage 52. "____ homo" 53. Duds 54. Chow 56. Singer/songwriter Matthews 58. Get wind of 59. Magazine that's weekly in France but monthly in the U.S. 60. All those in favor

Last week’s answers

AUGUST 22, 2019 | 45

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Medical researcher Jonas Salk developed a successful polio vaccine, so he had a strong rational mind. Here’s how he described his relationship with his non-rational way of knowing. He said, “It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea. I work with it and rely on it. It’s my partner.” I bring this

DOWN

6. Pal 7. Sign by a pool 8. Dance studio aids in the Yukon territory? 9. "Here's what I think," in textspeak 10. Café au ____ 11. Elton's johns 13. "Please don't tell me they're skin lesions"? 15. Anglers Cardin, Salinger and Trudeau? 24. Suffix with ear or arm 26. Music genre for Weezer 27. Mascara misadventure 28. Late, in Livorno 29. "Your 15 minutes of fame ____!" 30. Freudian subject 32. Cultivates land 33. Easily-wrinkled fabric 34. "All I gotta do ____ naturally" (Beatles lyric) 36. "4 real?!?" 40. It can cover a lot of ground 43. "Am ____ your way?" 45. Quiet end? 47. Like 18 1/2 minutes of the Watergate tapes

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): African American slaves suffered many horrendous deprivations. For example, it was illegal for them to learn to read. Their oppressors feared that educated slaves would be better equipped to agitate for freedom, and took extreme measures to keep them illiterate. Frederick Douglass was one slave who managed to beat the ban. As he secretly mastered the art of reading and writing, he came upon literature that ultimately emboldened him to escape his “owners” and flee to safety. He became one of the 19th century’s most powerful abolitionists, producing reams of influential writing and speeches. I propose that we make Douglass your inspiring role model for the coming months. I think you’re ready to break the hold of a certain curse—and go on to achieve a gritty success that the curse had SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): As the CEO of the clothes company Zappos, Sagittarius prevented you from accomplishing. entrepreneur Tony Hsieh is worth almost a billion dollars. If he chose, he could live in a mansion by the sea. Yet his home GEMINI (May 21-June 20): is a 200-square-foot, $48,000 trailer in Las Vegas, where For 25 years, businessman Don Thompson worked for the he also keeps his pet alpaca. To be clear, he owns the entire McDonald’s fast-food company, including three years as its trailer park, which consists of 30 other trailers, all of which CEO. During that time, he oversaw the sale and consumption are immaculate hotbeds of high-tech media technology where of millions of hamburgers. But in 2015, he left McDonald’s and interesting people live. He loves the community he has created, became part of Beyond Meat, a company that sells vegan alterwhich is more important to him than status and privilege. “For natives to meat. I could see you undergoing an equally dramatic me, experiences are more meaningful than stuff,” he says. “I shift in the coming months, Gemini: a transition into a new role have way more experiences here.” I’d love to see you reaffirm that resembles but is also very different from a role you’ve been your commitment to priorities like his in the coming weeks, playing. I urge you to step up your fantasies about what that change might entail. Sagittarius. It’ll be a favorable time to do so. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): What do you want from the allies who aren’t your lovers? What feelings do you most enjoy while you’re in the company of your interesting, non-romantic companions? For instance, maybe you like to be respected and appreciated. Or perhaps what’s most important to you is to experience the fun of being challenged and stimulated. Maybe your favorite feeling is the spirit of collaboration and comradeship. Or maybe all of the above. In any case, Scorpio, I urge you to get clear about what you want—and then make it your priority to foster it. In the coming weeks, you’ll have the power to generate an abundance of your favorite kind of non-sexual togetherness.

1. With 69-Across, less than 300 dots per inch, commonly ... or a hint to this puzzle's theme 4. Jackson of country music 8. Extinguish 12. "____ robbed!" 14. "The ____ All Fears" (2002 movie) 16. "Hahahahahaha!" 17. Actress Suvari 18. Trekkies' genre 19. State said to be "high in the middle" 20. "Toy Story" boy 21. ____ Soliloquy (Act 1, Scene III speech in "Othello") 22. Have-____ (the poor) 23. Hypotheticals 25. Expressed wonder 27. It's the law 31. Anastasia's love in Disney's "Anastasia" 35. Presidential retreat whose name is Spanish for "Sea to Lake" 37. Once dominant cell phones 38. "... ____ saw Elba" 39. Chinese menu assurance 41. Female name that's an anagram of "male" 42. Marketing space 44. Tell the world 46. Concern for a lifeguard 48. Played awhile onstage 49. Drum kit component 51. Ending for rocket or racket 52. Eleven's preferred breakfast brand on "Stranger Things" 55. Time off, informally 57. Perlman of "Cheers" 61. "The Alienist" novelist Caleb 62. Spanish 101 verb 63. Long and slippery 64. Mötley ____ 65. Do military duty 66. After-Christmas event 67. Flows back 68. Colors, as Easter eggs 69. See 1-Across

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sailors have used compasses to navigate since the 11th century. But that tool wasn’t enough to guide them. A thorough knowledge of the night sky’s stars was a crucial aid. Skill at reading the ever-changing ocean currents always proved valuable. Another helpful trick was to take birds on the ships as collaborators. While at sea, if the birds flew off and returned, the sailors knew there was no land close by. If the birds didn’t return, chances were good that land was near. I bring this to your attention, Libra, because I think it’s an excellent time to gather a number of different navigational tools for your upcoming quest. One won’t be enough.

ACROSS

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

LOW-RES

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

B R E Z S N Y

SUDOKU

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

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46 | AUGUST 22, 2019

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I love my family and my dog Gracie

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Dislikes:

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Favorite movie: Lion King (original)

In this era of Uber, Lyft, Trax, Frontrunner, taxis, Subaru, Audi, Lexus (and on and on), it’s hard to imagine that 100 years ago, we were getting to school or work via horse, wagon or buggy. Throughout Utah, you can drive past remnants of modes of transportation from the 1800s that aren’t on display at This Is the Place Monument, such as tiny garages that were once carriage houses, carriage blocks and hitching posts. There are several sandstone blocks along South Temple, as well as in the Avenues, Centerville and Provo, that were originally placed at the edge of the street to help buggy or wagon passengers step out of their vehicles. In 1870, the travel world in the western U.S. exploded when a little narrow-gage rail line was completed between Denver and Salt Lake City. Imagine if you had previously hired a fast coach and a team of horses to get from one city to another, and if they changed horse teams several times a day at different stops, you might be able to log 100 miles per day. You’d certainly pay a high price for the adventure, and it would take you about five days to travel one way between Salt Lake City and Denver. By the late 1800s, trains were moving faster, about 50-80 mph. Thus, the Denver-to-Salt Lake trip would only take maybe 10 hours instead of five days. When you ended your journey, you would get off at the Rio Grande Depot at 300 South and Rio Grande Street (550 West). The depot was built in 1910 for only $750,000. Initially, trains were used primarily for shipping minerals and supplies between the two states, but more and more passengers were arriving in Utah to work in the copper mine, start a business or move to the West Coast. When I lived above my office at the Dakota Lofts, I could see the red neon sign atop the building with the classic Rio Grande logo. About once a month, one of the letters would fizzle out and the sign would read “Ri Grande,” “Rio Grane” or “Rio rande.” I guess the sign was just too old to repair and it’s now been permanently removed. A new one will go up sometime this fall. The cool thing is that the sign will be much more visible from I-15 and might attract tourists to see the landmark building. It might sound simple to erect another neon sign that says “Rio Grande,” but because the building is on the National Register of Historic Places, a whole slew of folks had to chime in on the design, including the Historic Landmarks Commission, the Redevelopment Agency, Preservation Utah, the Pioneer Park Coalition, the Downtown Alliance and even the owners of the Rio Grande Café. With that many lofty opinions, it better be a great sign, yes? n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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Chutzpah! Lake Worth, Fla., homeowner Phil Fraumeni emerged from his house on July 19 to find a white Tesla not only parked on his lawn, but tethered to an outlet on his house, charging the car’s battery. Fraumeni told WPBF he waited a couple of hours, then called police. The car was not stolen, and police were able to contact the owner, who showed up around noon and told Fraumeni he had been visiting friends in the neighborhood when the battery died around midnight. Fraumeni declined to press charges (pun intended) and did not ask for reimbursement for the 12 hours of electricity the car used.

BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

Wait, What? In a product expansion move that inspires one to shout, “Stay in your lane!” Oscar Meyer announced on Aug. 1 that it is entering the dessert category with the Ice Dog Sandwich—an ice cream sandwich with cookie “buns” surrounding bits of candied hot dog meat and spicy mustard ice cream. United Press International reported that the company partnered with a New York ice cream company to create the confectionary treat. Bonus: French’s announced the day before the creation of its own mustard-flavored ice cream together with Coolhaus.

WEIRD

Recent Alarming Headline Alex Bonilla, 49, took revenge to an extreme on the man he told police he had caught cheating with his wife in May, according to WCJB. On July 14, Gilchrist County (Florida) Sheriff’s deputies said Bonilla entered a house in the town of Bell, firing a gunshot and forcing a man inside into a bedroom, where he tied the man up and, using scissors, cut off his penis, which he ran away with. Later that day, deputies arrested Bonilla at his place of employment; his bond was set at $1.25 million. The family of the victim declined to comment, but said through the sheriff’s office the victim was doing well medically.

n Two men in Antwerp, Belgium, felt the heat on July 24 when they accidentally got locked in a shipping container full of cocaine in the huge port there, reported AFP. That day, temperatures reached a record high of 104 degrees Fahrenheit, stifling the 24- and 25-year-old, who had entered the container “to remove drugs,” according to prosecutors. As the mercury rose, they desperately called a police emergency number and when police finally found them two hours later, they gratefully gave themselves up. Port workers were videoed pouring water over the pair to try to lower their body temperatures.

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n Michael Harrell, 54, strolled into a U.S. Bank in Cleveland on July 29 with a note demanding cash from a teller: “This is a robbery. Don’t get nobody hurt.” Unfortunately, according to WJW, he wrote the note on a document he had apparently received from the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles, which included his full name and address. The teller, who called Harrell by his first name after seeing it on the letter, gave him $206 and summoned police, who later arrested him.

Sticking It to the (Recycling) Man A man in southern Spain who is a serial mocker of recycling efforts was fined 45,000 euros ($50,000) and ordered to retrieve a refrigerator he tossed down a hillside in July. Spain’s Guardia Civil identified the man from a Twitter video he posted of the refrigerator incident with the truck he used, and its license plate, clearly visible behind him, The Local reported. He could also be seen in a different video throwing a washing machine into the ravine in the same area. The truck was registered to a house-clearing company in Almeria, from which the man was promptly fired. In a tit for tat, officers later posted video of the man struggling to bring the refrigerator back up the hill. Rude Awakening Alice Coleman, 61, of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., hopped out of bed early on Aug. 5 to check on a fire alarm that was blaring outside her apartment. When she opened her door, 34-year-old Fitzroy Morton confronted her, brandishing a “big butcher knife,” Coleman told WSVN. Morton told her, “No, mama. Everything gon’ be all right,” but Coleman set him straight: “Everything’s not going to be all right. I’m not your mama. I don’t know who you are. Get out of my house.” Then she bit him, “... and I didn’t even have my teeth in my mouth like now,” she explained. Coleman ran out of the apartment, where Morton locked himself in, and called police from a neighbor’s apartment. Morton was charged with three felonies, and Coleman is vowing to be more cautious: “I’ll open my door with my Taser because I have one.” Force of Nature As a storm rolled through Port Charlotte, Fla., on Aug. 4, Marylou Ward and her husband got an explosive surprise. Ward said she heard a “boom” that was the loudest noise she’d ever heard. “We smelled smoke and I looked outside,” she told WINK News. Smoke was coming from her septic tank, but it was the indoor effect that really shocked them: Her master bedroom toilet was in hundreds of pieces. A plumber explained that a nearby lightning strike ignited methane gas that had built up in the pipes and septic tank, destroying not only the tank and the toilet, but the indoor plumbing as well. Fortunately, no one was hurt: “I’m just glad none of us were on the toilet,” Ward said. Send tips to weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com

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Going to Extremes Kim Gordon, 55, vanished on Feb. 25, according to his 17-yearold son, after going for a nighttime swim at Monastery Beach in Monterey, Calif., an area with a deadly reputation sometimes called “Mortuary Beach.” The Associated Press reported that police searched for three days before learning the Scotsman from Edinburgh, also known as Kim Vincent Avis, faced 24 charges of rape in Scotland, which made them suspicious about the story. “When that came up, we start to wonder if this is a hoax,” said Monterey County sheriff’s Capt. John Thornburg. Finally, on July 26, the U.S. Marshals Service announced it had caught up with Gordon in Colorado Springs, Colo., where he is now being held; the son had been returned to Scotland and will not be charged with filing a false report.

Babs De Lay

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Can’t Stand the Heat It’s been a hot summer in Europe. Among those suffering was an unnamed 66-year-old military veteran in the small southeastern French town of Les Arcs-sur-Argens, who had been complaining for several weeks to his landlady, Maryse Malin, 71, about the lack of air conditioning in his villa. That might have been why, The Local reported, he shot the “sweet, kind and caring lady” three times, killing her. Malin had agreed to install air conditioning but told the tenant it couldn’t be done until October.

DIRT HIPPIES!

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T(winning) Keep up with us here: On Aug. 1, identical twin brothers Andy and Chad Baker of Nashville, Tenn., were on their way to the annual Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, in their identical blue Tesla Model 3s, when an Ohio state trooper pulled them both over for having identical license plates, reading “SUBJ TO.” The brothers patiently explained to the officer that the plates are, in fact, different: In one, “TO” is spelled with a zero, and in the other, it’s spelled with a capital O. “Nobody likes getting pulled over by police, we were both nervous, but it’s a great story and we will tell it all weekend,” Andy told Fox8.

Least Competent Criminals Police in Sydney, Australia, had a drug bust land in their laps on July 22, when an unnamed man slammed a van loaded with 600 pounds of methamphetamines into a patrol car parked outside a suburban police station. The car was empty at the time of the collision, Reuters reported. The van sped away from the scene, but police caught up with the 28-year-old driver an hour later and charged him with drug supply and negligent driving. The drugs had an estimated street value of about $140 million.

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