City Weekly September 19, 2024

PETERSON AND SAM STECKLOW

S AP

BOX

Dictator on Day One

At the Sep. 10 presidential debate, moderator David Muir asked Donald Trump: “You have said you would solve this [Ukraine] war in 24 hours. How exactly would you do that?”

Trump answered, “What I’ll do is I’ll speak to one, I’ll speak to the other, I’ll get them together.” (Politico, Sep. 11)

This implies a certain arrogant confidence in one’s negotiation skills. But there is also an assumption here that other political leaders, like him, do not have to touch bases with anybody else

before doing what they want to do. What if an executive branch official must painstakingly consult with a Parliament, or with party leaders, or with treaty partners, or with a conscience, before taking definitive action in a matter?

Russia’s Vladimir Putin is a dictator, so, yeah, Trump might be able to cut a deal with him rather quickly. But Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy is not a dictator, so he might have to go through a lengthy process in order to reach a deal.

The media have grown so comfortable with Trump’s autocratic methods that they have forgotten what democracy requires of its leaders. Trump is not a powerful wizard of a politician. He is a strong-arm usurper of the rule of law operating on the basis of personal whim. When the media does not point this out, they are complicit in his methods.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY Woods Cross

“Buried Treasures,” Sept. 5 Cover Story

I really enjoyed the recent article about Eureka. That area is one of my favorite day-trip locations.

I wanted to mention one of the things that I really like about Eureka—Black Hollow Fever. This store is part taxidermy shop and part museum. They sell taxidermied animals, animal skulls and all types of curios.

This shop completely fits in with Eureka’s haunted vibe. The owners travel quite a bit, collecting specimens and touring on the expo circuit, so make sure they are open before you drive there.

Checking out Black Hollow Fever, visiting the various rock shops, touring the museum, stopping at Porter Rockwell’s cabin, getting a

bite to eat or drink and seeing the amazing mining ruins are a great way to spend an October day in Eureka.

JILL HASLAM Holladay

“Three To Get Ready,”

Sept. 12 Online News

Editor’s note: Readers react to the Sundance Film Festival narrowing its search for a new home down to three candidates, including a combined bid from Salt Lake City and Park City.

It’s not Sundance if it’s not in Utah!

JOAN WILCOX Via Facebook

I can’t imagine Ohio appreciating any of the films in the Midnight series.

HOLLY.ESCH Via Instagram

Ohio? That seems so random.

KELLY HOWARD SANDBERG Via Facebook

Sundance is impossible for residents to enjoy. Robert [Redford] bailed and it hasn’t been fun.

TRENTJOHSNSON Via Instagram

Squeezing the rubes for dollars. Ohio should have some great skiing.

BJ NICHOLLS Via Facebook

Utah will probably pi$$ it away.

IRIS NIELSEN Via Facebook

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media.

THE WATER COOLER

If you were to try a ‘dirty soda’, what would your flavor combo be?

Benjamin Wood

Does ginger beer or ginger ale with a shot of bourbon count?

Wes Long

I’m a “back to basics” kind of guy. Soil and sparkling water all the way.

Eric Granato

Something with vanilla and lime.

Katharine Biele

I consider Long Island Ice Tea to be my dirty soda of choice.

Bryan Bale

I’ve mixed fruit juice and soda since I was a teenager. I never even considered adding a dairy element until the first time I had an Italian cream soda, like those you get at The Old Spaghetti Factory. If I were to create one of my own, I might consider using cola, grenadine, and dark chocolate almond milk.

Krista Maggard

Probably just the OG but veganized—Diet Coke, coconut syrup, a fresh lime and plant-based creamer!

Pete Saltas

Bourbon on ice. Forget that dirty soda garbage.

BY WES LONG

OPINION Daggers and Plows

As I write this, I am gazing through my window and basking in the greenery of our trees, the lively autumnal colors upon the distant mountains and the vast expanse of azure sky above. It is a calming sight—one that reminds me of how profoundly beautiful this world of ours truly is.

Amidst this beauty, however, I can’t help but feel saddened by how many troubles currently poison and darken such a world. There are plenty of reasons and causes, of course, but one element lurks beneath so many of our woes, in my opinion: a malnourishment of our minds and souls through the instrumentality of wealth.

What do I mean? Take a look around and consider how much of our communities are built—or torn down, as the case may be—for the sake of money.

One is left to wonder just how many of our modern problems—from climate change, war and political extremism to poverty, racism and institutional rot—would dissipate if the lust for money and power were no longer our reigning forces.

“The definite result of all our modern haste to be rich is assuredly, and constantly, the murder of a certain number of persons [and animals] by our hands every year,” wrote John Ruskin in Unto this Last (1860). “The choice given to every man born into this world is, simply, whether he will be a laborer or an assassin; and that whosoever has not his hand on the Stilt of the plough, has it on the Hilt of the dagger.”

Lest anyone think for one moment that such a state of affairs is the natural condition of humanity, consider the countless examples of humans and animals who live life

without the need for perpetual competition and violence, who do not heed the call to dominate others in order to be happy. We have all seen them and there are vastly more of those beings in the world than we have ever been led to believe. I would assert that we have long harbored this blindspot about our own natures because it is in the interest of our money-making systems to keep things operating on such a depraved basis.

If, for a moment, we consider that we don’t need every convenience of life that could be devised (and hence the insatiable conquest for resources and life to produce said conveniences), then where does that leave the vast majority of the society we have erected? Humans have their frailties and foibles, to be sure, but are we inescapably consumers and predators?

The grip of our precious “market” has been so tightly riveted since the Renaissance that few if any of us can even conceive of a world that does not operate on the basis of preying upon one another, of transmogrifying cruelty, deception and selfishness into virtuous pillars of getting ahead, or of pillaging our planet for a quick buck.

To uphold and justify such a system, it has puffed up philosophies like rationalism, materialism and various forms of nihilism for all their worth while unleashing endless entertainment streams to satiate our emptiness. Significantly, it has enthroned the natural and mathematical sciences as the only possible points of reference to understand humanity and life’s problems.

“Now, what I want is, Facts,” Gradgrind the schoolmaster intones in Charles Dickens’ Hard Times (1854). “Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and root out everything else.”

Such a philosophy has vaunted itself as the only proper way of living in this world since the Industrial Revolution, and its effects have been utterly ravaging. Its alleged goals may sound great on a ledger, but they hardly encapsulate the beauty, mystery and life that suffuse our existence and permeate our inner longings.

It has vitiated our abilities to think, to imagine and to believe. Instead of producing wiser, well-rounded people, it manufactures miserable individuals too incurious and haughty after a while to even be bothered.

To such pupils, according to Dickens, “what you couldn’t state in figures, or show to be purchaseable in the cheapest market and saleable in the dearest, was not, and never should be, world without end, Amen.”

I can only guess at how much devastation this evangel has wrought upon our arts, sciences, churches, governments and schools, or how deeply it has implanted into our lives that dark abyss of self-worship that so permeates modern living. Unbound by anyone and anything as we ceaselessly cry “freedom,” we find ourselves with nothing to do but consume and consume and consume. Having been connected to everyone else through the internet and compounded by profit-driven algorithms, we receive and transmit nothing but what does not already reflect our narrowed fears and grievances.

Our social media has blunted our ability to recognize truth, our bureaucracies have erased our sense of responsibility to one another, and our conglomerates have eroded any actual governance or those democratic ideals we so cherish.

It is high time that we stopped hiding behind the labels and virtues of earlier generations and came to grips with what we have collectively chosen to become today. We are, in the words of Jean-Jacques Rousseau to Geneva’s bourgeoisie in 1764, “always occupied with your private interests, your work, commerce, profits; you are people for whom freedom itself is only a means toward untrammeled acquisition and secure possession.”

The truth of the matter is that beauty still exists around us in countless forms, despite our efforts to block it out or to exploit it for profit. If we really want the world to heal from its wounds and to flourish, it’s high time we threw away our daggers and picked up our plows.CW

Private Eye is off this week. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

Your

fall planting headquarters

HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE | @kathybiele

MISS: Sugar Housing

No doubt we don’t have enough housing—especially affordable housing— in Salt Lake. But sometimes you have to wonder where and what the plan really is. Take the formerly quaint neighborhood of Sugar House, for instance. Harbor Bay Ventures, an Illinois-based company, rolled in with a unique, if stunning, idea. How about a 305-foot high-rise on the site of the former Wells Fargo drive-through bank? They claim a big, blocky structure made of some kind of innovative sawdust timber will help everything, including traffic. Problem is, that mass transit is still an issue and 1100 East is narrow and crowded. The planning commission wants the City Council to deny a rezone of the property. “This is the first time I’ve ever seen a developer write their own zone and then ask you to approve it so they could build what they want to build,” said Judi Short of the Sugar House Community Council at a recent meeting. It probably won’t be the last time.

MISS: Left Behind

We know that the Larry H. Miller Group—minor league baseball owner of the Bees—is abandoning Salt Lake City for greener pastures. That has left the Ballpark neighborhood hanging while the city struggles to give birth to a new plan for the stadium. There have been plenty of community input sessions, but nothing to hold on to. The stadium will be padlocked in October and will likely stand empty for the foreseeable future. The city is focused on big bucks—a massive sports complex downtown, for one. And the Legislature is considering funding a billion-dollar stadium project in Ivins. It’s just dizzying to imagine which sports franchises are going in which sports venues and where those venues will be. But Ballpark is not on any funding agenda yet. It’s just too small and insignificant.

HIT: Pressing the Issue

Sometimes readers wonder what’s happened to journalism. If they can ignore the fake-media harangues, what emerges is a smaller and underfunded industry charged with watchdogging for the public. The Salt Lake Tribune can no longer afford a full stable of reporters and editors, so it’s heartening when they can share a reporter with the New York Times to produce investigative stories. “Man vs. trees: How a rancher’s bulldozing project cost Utah taxpayers” (Sep. 13) is one. How else would the public know that the state plopped more than $5 million into the lap of a software executive to decimate his 1,200acre property on the West Tavaputs Plateau for a hunting lodge. He’s been ripping down conifers by what he calls a roller-felling process, clearcutting forests and polluting water. The sad part, as a Weber State professor notes, is that constituents don’t seem to care about environmental arguments if money is involved. CW

Basic Witches

There are two types of people in this world (I mean, of course there are more, but for the sake of this article, I am oversimplifying).

In one corner are those droll souls who roll their eyes when pumpkin spice everything hits the shelves. And in the other—me! A true Pumpkin Spice lover.

Is it basic to love the flavors that autumn brings with it? Call me basic, if you must. Walking into Trader Joe’s and seeing those pumpkins at the beginning of September brought me a certain sense of happiness.

Autumn is just around the corner. Cooler nights ahead! I love it so much that I stock up so I can have a serotonin spike with my morning cappuccino, year-round. I do not care if it is spring or summer—I like what I like, and I like pumpkin spice.

The next time you encounter an eye-roller, remind them that the combination of spices we collectively call Pumpkin Spice—cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger—have been used together in cooking and baking for centuries.

The concept of combining these spices for pumpkin-flavored dishes solidified over time. While pumpkin pie itself seems to have showed up sometime in the 17th century, the specific blend of spices we now call “pumpkin spice” wasn’t standardized until the 20th century.

Trader Joe’s is on my side in the great pumpkin culture wars. Their stores have pumpkin EVERYTHING! Of course they have your standards: pumpkin bagels; pumpkin breads; pumpkin muffins (gluten-free options too); pumpkin chips; glutenfree pumpkin pancake mix (my favorite); pumpkin overnight oats; pumpkin chocolate mousse; and pumpkin snickerdoodle mix.

Have you tried their pumpkin pasta, pumpkin soup, or their pumpkin cookies? For your little ones, they have pumpkin tree kits they can decorate. Do not forget the pumpkin butter! You want pumpkin gnocchi? Joe’s has got it.

My favorite thing to do while shopping for everything pumpkin is to grab gorgeous flowers for my home and holidays. I love filling my house with fresh flowers and bringing those fall colors—and scents—indoors.

Happy autumn and happy Pumpkin Spice Season! CW

TRUE TV

Out of the Stream

Not all of your favorite TV shows from back in the day are available to stream.

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

Two of the best TV series of the ’90s— Homicide: Life on the Street and The Drew Carey Show—are finally available to stream after years in legal limbo (on Peacock and Plex, respectively). The Big Lie about streaming services is that everything you’d ever want to watch is just a click away. But nope. Several beloved shows from yesteryear are nowhere to be found (yet). Here are a few of ’em.

Ed (2000–2004): New York City lawyer Ed (Tom Cavanagh), fired from his law firm and dumped by his wife, returns to his small Ohio hometown of Stuckeyville to clear his head. When he runs into his high school crush, Carol (pre-Modern Family Julie Bowen), he impulsively buys a rundown bowling alley to open a legal practice in it, hoping to stay and finally win Carol over (solid plan). Ed premiered three days before that other quirky small-town dramedy, Gilmore Girls, but is still only available on bootleg DVDs.

SCTV (1976–1984): For nearly 40 years, comedy cultists have lamented the scarcity of Canadian sketch series SCTV (Second City Television). The cast—including Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, John Candy, Dave Thomas, Rick Moranis, Andrea Martin, Martin Short and Joe Flaherty—attained G.O.A.T. comedy status in later years, but the dementedly DIY show that launched them is still absent from streaming. Unlike with Ed, at least there are official vintage DVD sets out there for sale—physical media for the win.

Ally McBeal (1997–2002): It was created by the Taylor Swift of hit legal dramas, David E. Kelley. It averaged 12 million viewers per season on Fox. Lucy Liu, James Marsden, and Robert Downey friggin’ Jr. were costars. So where the hell is Ally McBeal? The one-time cultural phenomenon about a smart but emotionally erratic young lawyer (Calista Flockhart) featured one of Kelley’s best ensemble casts ever, but it mysteriously disappeared from streaming at the end of

2023. As with most things, I blame Disney. Beggers & Choosers (1999–2001): The Chris Isaak Show remains the most frustratingly unavailable Showtime original of all time, but the dark Hollywood satire Beggars & Choosers is right up there. The series is set behind the scenes at a major TV network where everyone is screwing everyone else in every sense of the word, preceding similar Tinsletown takedowns like Action and Entourage. Unlike those, Beggars & Choosers features a fiery female protagonist in Charlotte Ross, who went on to NYPD Blue Rude Awakening (1998–2001): Another lost Showtime gem, Rude Awakening was Sherilyn Fenn’s first—and last—long-term TV gig after Twin Peaks. She stars as Billie, an unemployed soap-opera actress struggling with sobriety and myriad selfdestructive tendencies—Rude Awakening is a comedy, BTW. An endearingly awkward and cringe-y comedy at that, because the show was shot like a cheap network sitcom minus a laugh track, rendering the show’s rhythm wonky AF. Fenn should have been a comic star.

Unhappily Ever After (1995–1999): Married … With Children co-creator Ron Leavitt helped launch The WB TV network in 1995 with a virtual clone that could have set Fox lawyers up with a fleet of yachts. So Unhappily Ever After added an alcoholic stuffed bunny voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait—perfect. Goldthwait’s Mr. Floppy is disgruntled car salesman Jack’s (Geoff Pierson) answer to Fight Club’s Tyler Durden, making for some surreal post-Alf sitcom-ery. The show also stars Nikki Cox as a red-hot Kelly Bundy upgrade.

Son of the Beach (2000—2002): FX prides itself as the long-established home of highbrow dramas, but the cable network’s first scripted original was a ridiculously filthy Baywatch parody. Son of the Beach produced by Howard Stern and starring unsung comedy genius Timothy Stack— was a solid half-hour of double- (and single-) entendre, dick puns and straining swimsuits that defied the laws of physics. If Son of the Beach ever does stream, it’ll be on Fox Nation as an anti-“woke” beacon for BarcaLounger edgelords.

Weeds (2005–2012): Mid-’00s Showtime hit Weeds actually is available to watch on a few free streaming apps, but with a major caveat: It’s the PG-13 version, with all of the Showtime-requisite profanity and nudity scrubbed out. Yes, the comedy still holds up well, even in these 4:20-friendly times, but this feels like being slipped a bag of oregano. Also, why is one of Showtime’s most iconic shows not on Paramount+ with Showtime, Paramount+Showtime+Taco Bell+KFC, or whatever it’s called now? CW

Beggers & Choosers

Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company: Re-Play

Popular culture seems to be overwhelmed with reboots, remakes and reimaginings, but don’t be misled by the title of Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company’s season-opening production Re-Play to believe that it’s all about trotting out the familiar. While one of the featured pieces is indeed a return engagement, the program also features two brand-new works, all joining together for a thematic exploration of what it means to be connected—sometimes whether we like it or not.

The revival is Laja Field and Martin Durov’s 2022 commission The Bunker, a 20-minute theatrical dance production about six people who are trapped in a shared space together, at first believing that they’ll be released after one year—and creating a dance to celebrate that release—only to find their confinement dragging on. Also on the bill is Wish You Were Here, a new work by Monica Bill Barnes set to the classic David Bowie/Queen collaboration “Under Pressure.” Student dancers from Weber State, BYU, Southern Utah University, University of Utah and Westminster College join in for an upbeat piece about people reaching out to find connection. Finally, RWDC’s own Daniel Charon choreographs a new piece set to Philip Glass’ “Sonata for Violin and Piano” exploring technological influence on the human experience of reality.

Ririe-Woodbury’s Re-Play comes to the Rose Wagner Center’s Jeanne Wagner Theatre (138 W. 300 South) for performances Sept. 19 – 21 at 7:30 p.m. nightly, with a “Moving Parts” sensory-friendly performance Sept. 21 at 1 p.m. Tickets are $15/$20 for Sept. 19, $15/$35 for Sept. 20 – 21 evening shows, $10 for Moving Parts at arttix.org. (Scott Renshaw)

Patton Oswalt

From his humble beginnings in the San Francisco Bay Area comedy scene of the 1990s, Patton Oswalt has become something of a multimedia star. He became an icon for a generation of children—at least for his voice— when he performed Remy the rat for the Pixar film Ratatouille, and similarly iconic in the geek world for this legendary, viral Star Wars-themed filibuster as a character on the sitcom Parks and Recreation (a speech which literally inspired the opening scene from the Disney+ series The Book of Boba Fett). He’s even found his way into the rarified air of game-show host, as he headlined the recent Fox/Amazon Prime series The 1% Club, challenging contestants with brainteasers and showing off his gift for crowd work in his improvised conversations with those contestants.

Yet his greatest gift remains in his abilities as a stand-up comedian, and a talent that has evolved over the years. While he has always been a gifted storyteller with reference points spanning pop-culture and high art, he’s dug deeper of late, in part a result of dealing with personal tragedy like the sudden death of his first wife, writer Michelle McNamara (which he chronicled in his 2017 Netflix special Annihilation). Now, Utah audiences get a chance to see the master at work in an up-close-andpersonal club gig.

Patton Oswalt’s Effervescent tour comes to Wiseguys Gateway (190 S. 400 West) Sept. 19 – 21 for six performances, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. nightly. At press time, some of these shows are sold out, but select tickets remain at $60. Visit wiseguyscomedy.com for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

A Taste of Ireland

For 30 years, groups like Riverdance and Michael Flatley’s Lord of the Dance have toured the world, dazzling audiences with an electrifying mix of traditional Irish music and dance performances that take step traditions to the level of a rock-and-roll show. Steeped in that same tradition is A Taste of Ireland, a touring production featuring alumni of those aforementioned shows like Gavin Shevlin, Megan McGinley and Callum O’Neill bringing their own spin to the beloved performance style.

The 100%-live show features musicians, vocalists and dancers sharing their own unique interpretations of classic songs like “Danny Boy,” “Wild Rover,” “Tell Me Ma” and more. According to the show’s producer and director Brent Pace, “We offer audiences an unforgettable adventure through the heart and soul of Ireland, where every beat of music and every step of Irish dance shares a captivating journey. Each narrative is interwoven with dramatic lighting and breathtaking visual scenery, with performances meticulously crafted to express the depth of these stories, ensuring that you feel Ireland’s history through the movement, music, and dance.”

A Taste of Ireland visits Utah for three stops on its current tour: Friday, Sept. 20, 7:30 p.m. at Provo’s Covey Center for the Arts (425 W. Center St.); Saturday, Sept. 21, 7:30 p.m. at Kingsbury Hall on the University of Utah campus (1395 E. Presidents Circle); and Monday, Sept. 23 at the Heritage Center Theater in Cedar City (105 N. 100 East). Tickets are $35 - $65 based on performance date; visit atasteofirelandshow.com for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

From Our Friends At

Oddities & Curiosities Expo

We’re in that fall-ish time of the year when folks’ interests turn Halloween-ish, and perhaps with more interest in the macabre. Granted, there are plenty of people who hold those interests year-round, but creepiness expands its audience as we head into October. So whether you’re one of those 24/7/365 lovers of funkiness or just a seasonal dabbler, you’ll find something to pique your interest at the distinctive showcase at is the touring Oddities and Curiosities Expo.

Since 2017, this showcase of more than 150 vendors—bringing their wares representing the ways that people can turn the weird, unsettling and bizarre into stuff you might actually consider placing on a bookshelf—has come to venues around the country. Did you ever previously consider turning human teeth into insectthemed jewelry? You will now. Have you pondered whether animal brains could be preserved in crystal spheres for knickknacks? The answer is “yes.” Browse for taxidermied critters, Halloween-themed art, funeral collectibles and more, get a tarot reading, take some photo ops or enjoy performances by sideshow artists. If you’re feeling particularly funky, you might even consider signing up for classes to learn about taxidermy or preserving insects yourself.

The 2024 Oddities & Curiosities Expo comes to the Mountain America Expo Center in Sandy (9575 S. State St) Saturday, Sept. 21, 10 a.m. – 6 p.m. and Sunday, Sept. 22, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Tickets are $10 advance/$15 door, with children 12 and under free admission. Classes including Rat Taxidermy and Entomology/Bug Pinning are additional charge. Visit odditiesandcuriositiesexpo.com for tickets and additional event information. (SR)

Don’t Let Me Be Myth Understood

Turning

toys into archetypes

might work for someone, but not for me.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

There are occasions in this gig when the only morally-honest response is to acknowledge when the “I just don’t get it” factor is in full effect. Sometimes that involves the appeal of a specific actor whose charms are utterly lost on you; maybe it’s even a whole genre, like, say, the bodilyinjury/self-humiliation comedy of Jackass or Eric Andre. That’s not to say that you can’t make certain evaluations involving those things, but when the basic premise involved is “this is a thing that people want to watch,” you’ve got to be prepared to cop to 100 percent not being one of those people. That brings us to the entire concept of Transformers, which have been part of the American pop-culture consciousness for 40 years now—a 40-year span which, relevant to our conversation, did not include any part of my childhood. I recognize the existence of a generation that grew up in the 1980s playing with Transformers toys, watching Transformers cartoons, reading Transformers comic-books and so forth, leading to the nostalgia built into the excruciatingly bombastic Michael Bay liveaction films of the 2000s. For those folks, an overly-dense good-vs.-evil mythology constructed for the backstory of a prettycool toy concept is simply what they grew up with, so maybe they’ve all been dying for something like Transformers One, an animated feature which offers an origin story of primary protagonist Optimus Prime and

primary antagonist Megatron that deepens the story even further. And meanwhile, all I can think is, “This is still all about those toy cars that turn into robots, right?”

Yet here we are, on that distant home planet of Cybertron, at a time in the past when … look, it’s complicated. Apparently, there once were super-awesome Transformers known as the Primes, and they were mostly defeated during an alien invasion, and there’s a shortage of some kind of power source called energon, which at least isn’t as dumb a name as unobtanium. Miner-grunt robots Orion Pax (Chris Hemsworth) and D-16 (Brian Tyree Henry) are best buddies who get pulled by Orion Pax’s striving and curiosity into discoveries about the true nature of their world that could destroy their friendship when—not at all a spoiler alert, since it’s the essence of the advertising campaign—they ultimately become, respectively, Optimus Prime and Megatron.

The ensuing adventure as directed by Josh Cooley (Toy Story 4) is lively enough, full of creative production design that renders the Cybertron subterranean metropolis of Iacon City as something that grows

in two directions like stalactites and stalagmites. All of the action often feels too busy to fully take in who’s fighting whom, but it’s certainly never tedious. And there’s solid comic-relief in Keegan-Michael Key’s B-127/Bumblebee, whose transformation from solitary-confinement garbage salvager to warrior prompts some giddy reactions. As matinee kid-friendly entertainment, you could do a lot worse.

But then we arrive at the question of what this matinee kid-friendly entertainment is doing by trying to turn the relationship between Orion Pax and D-16 into Shakespearean tragedy. There’s certainly pop-culture precedent for this kind of friends-turnedfoes narrative—from X-Men’s Professor Xavier and Magneto to the fan-fiction retcon of the Oz witches in Wicked—and Brian Tyree Henry in particular voice-acts his heart out as the blue-collar guy shattered to realize that his heroes might not be deserving of his adoration, and that those in power can manipulate you. But all of this presumes an emotional investment in the characters that this movie alone can’t deliver, likely dependent on whether or not

you’ve grown up caring about Transformers in any way. Transformers One wants the fate of the friendship between these two beings destined to become enemies to matter deeply—and I’m just not seeing it. Maybe there’s some allegory I should also be seeing here, about the tragedy of contemporary family members divided by opposing political philosophies. This series does seem awfully serious, after all, about attempting to lend gravitas to an elaborate marketing tie-in—which makes it even weirder that on a basic level, this movie is about the danger of investing too much in myths. Transformers One might be somebody’s movie, a movie for a theoretical viewer who cares about Optimus Prime as more than a cool toy with a bad-ass voice. Me? I just don’t get it. CW

TRANSFORMERS ONE BB 1/2

Chris Hemsworth

Brian Tyree Henry

Scarlett Johansson

Rated PG

Exploring Maven’s Offerings

The Maven District is more than just a collective of businesses; it is a holistic environment where women can live, work and grow. Here’s a closer look at what Maven has to offer:

DISTRICT: Home to various women-owned local businesses, fostering a supportive network for female entrepreneurs.

STAY: Boutique hotel suites that offer a chic and comfortable stay for visitors, reflecting the district’s dedication to high-quality experiences.

LIVE: Vibrant residences that provide a dynamic living environment central to all the amenities Maven District offers.

CREATE: Coworking and event spaces designed to facilitate creativity and collaboration among women professionals.

STRONG: A reformer Pilates and wellness studio focusing on physical well-being as an essential component of overall empowerment.

This year, Salt Lake’s Maven District added hotel suites to its amenities.

ROOM WITH A VIEW

SALT LAKE CITY’S WOMEN-LED BUSINESS AND COMMUNITY INCUBATOR GETS INTO THE HOTEL GAME WITH MAVEN STAY.

BY AIMEE L. COOK COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

In January 2024, Salt Lake City’s Maven District unveiled its newest venture, Maven STAY, a boutique hotel offering suites at an affordable $149 per night. Designed with comfort and convenience, these petfriendly accommodations cater to short as well as extended stays.

Each suite features a fully stocked kitchen and a private balcony. Additionally, visitors have access to a 24/7 fitness center, free parking and, of course, the Maven community outside their door.

“The hotel [idea] popped up as a solution during COVID,” said Rocky Donati, Maven District’s co-founder and CMO. “We rented out some residential spaces as Airbnbs and when the new building was complete, we decided to keep a floor for hotel suites.”

Since its founding in 2017 by Donati and Tessa Arneson, the Maven District has emerged as a landscape of empowerment for women in Salt Lake City.

Owned and operated by women, Maven District is committed to creating spaces that cultivate community, foster growth and celebrate women for their present and future potential.

The district is a thriving hub encompassing various ventures designed to support women in multiple aspects of life and work. Of the Maven Districts’ 116 commer-

cial spaces—located generally along 900 South—85% are women-owned.

“We started by buying a building and putting our Pilates studio in it and decided to fill it with wellness people. We looked around after we had all the tenants filled and realized they were all women,” Donati recalled. “And then everyone began working together on a different level. It went from where you get your eyebrows done to what platform you recommend for finances.”

The organic growth of Maven District is a testament to women’s collaborative spirit and entrepreneurial drive within the community. As more businesses emerge, they contribute to the local economy and inspire others to pursue their own ventures.

This self-sustaining support cycle created an environment where women can share resources, mentorship and expertise, resulting in a robust network that encourages innovation and resilience. And with Maven STAY, Donati said that same spirit is being extended to short-term visitors.

“I love Salt Lake in so many ways, and I really do want to change it for the better,” Donati said. “And one way is offering a way to live like a local and integrate into a cool area of town and feeling like you’re not just in a bedroom space. We are putting you in the center of a small business hub.”

While challenging, the COVID-19 pandemic inadvertently strengthened the women’s network within Maven District by fostering an environment ripe for collaboration and idea-sharing. As businesses were forced to adapt and pivot, women entrepreneurs began openly exchanging resources, strategies and support to navigate the everchanging landscape.

This solidarity helped sustain their businesses during tough times and laid the foundation for long-lasting relationships and a robust community built on trust and shared goals.

The Maven District also enhances community engagement by creating a walkable urban environment where residents and visitors can easily access various retail, dining and wellness options. This carefully designed district encourages vibrant foot traffic and fosters connections among its inhabitants, ideally promoting a sense of belonging and togetherness.

Maven District not only enriches the local economy but also strengthens neighborhoods. This interconnectedness invites individuals to explore, interact and create lasting relationships, cultivating a thriving community that celebrates the contributions of all and embraces the pursuit of a healthier, more fulfilling lifestyle.

Jen Anderton and Casie Jayde, owners of Meraki House Salon, exemplify the spirit of Maven District. After looking for a new location for their business in 2023, they made the decision to set up shop in the district.

“Maven became the clear answer when we saw the built-in community and culture of other small, locally owned businesses,” Anderton asserted. “Maven’s intention to revitalize this part of downtown is inspiring, and we wanted to be a part of that. It was a definite yes, especially being centrally located for all our guests near and far.”

Those sentiments are echoed by many entrepreneurs within the district who have likewise found Maven not just a place to operate their businesses but also a community that champions their success.

“The Heavy Metal Shop is a staple in Salt Lake, so when [owner Kevin Kirk] came over, we were so excited that he was a man and wanted to be here,” Donati added.

As Maven District continues to flourish, plans for another expansion are well underway. Soon, the district will unveil eight additional business suites and a new 2,100-square-foot restaurant space.

The future of Maven District promises an even richer tapestry of experiences, solidifying its status as a pivotal player in downtown revitalization. CW

PATROLLING MISCONDUCT

NEW DATA TOOL ALLOWS JOURNALISTS AND THE PUBLIC TO TRACK ‘WANDERING COPS’ IN UTAH

BY ERIC S. PETERSON AND SAM STECKLOW COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

The following story was reported by The Utah Investigative Journalism Project in partnership with the Invisible Institute and Salt Lake City Weekly.

In September 2019, the Logan City Police Department hired Officer Miguel Deras, who had recently left the University of Utah’s campus police. Police officers move from job to job just like anyone else, but Deras was not like anyone else.

He left his previous post without a great reference, considering that a petition had been signed by more than 130,000 individuals—including current and former University of Utah students—demanding he be fired for mishandling sensitive photos of murdered student Lauren McCluskey.

In 2018, McCluskey went to university police to report that someone had stolen explicit photos of her and was using them to try and extort money. A Utah Department of Public Safety

review would later find Deras had inappropriately shown the pictures to at least three of his male colleagues without a work-related reason and had told one colleague that he could “look at them whenever he wants.”

After the state’s investigation was completed in 2020, Deras was promptly fired by Logan City.

“Our continuing efforts to hold sacred the public’s trust and our duty to serve and protect has resulted in today’s decision,” the department’s press release stated.

Deras’ move from one department to another was caught by the megawatt glare of public scrutiny surrounding the university’s inept response to the McCluskey case. The botched handling of that case culminated in her murder by Melvin Rowland, a man she briefly dated and who had also tried to extort her with the photos.

But police screwups are not always wrapped up in such high-profile cases.

Some officers have a knack for bouncing from one department to the next with little awareness from the public—or sometimes their own departments—about the true nature of their past work history.

This week, a new data tool showing police employment history launches in Utah. The data tool, part of a national reporting project focusing on statelevel police certification and employment data, is being launched in Utah after a successful public records appeal by the Utah Investigative Journalism Project. Utah is one of 17 states where data about police employment history is now available through the tool.

The tool was created by the Chicagobased nonprofit journalism organization Invisible Institute and was developed with data collected by a national coalition of reporters and others convened by Big Local News. It is intended to help journalists, researchers, attorneys and the public access data about

the professional work history of officers in the state.

The data can be used to track potential examples of what’s known as “wandering cops”: officers who commit misconduct at one department, are fired or leave under other circumstances, and are able to find work at another agency, simply because they maintain their police certifications.

The public “should have the right to investigate [if] bad cops are going from agency to agency,” said former longtime Salt Lake City Police Chief Chris Burbank. “That’s where there should be more public disclosure on those things, as opposed to hiding it away. There needs to be accountability for why individual agencies are hiring these people.”

Certification and employment history data have been used by journalists in California to identify officers with criminal convictions who are still employed in law enforcement; in

Georgia to show that officers with checkered histories were being hired by school districts; in Illinois to show how officers who had committed controversial shootings cycled through the suburban departments outside of Chicago; and in Washington State to show weaknesses in the state oversight system.

In 2020, law professors Ben Grunwald and John Rappaport published research on the problem of “wandering officers” in Florida and found they were most likely to be fired for a “moral character violation.” Those authors concluded that “wandering officers may pose serious risks, given how difficult it is to fire a police officer.”

Now, the data for Utah can be accessed online at national.cpdp.co.

“… I can get in anywhere”

Most police officers in Utah find themselves working at a small number of departments throughout their career. Some move around for better jobs and opportunities. But some also move far and wide across the state, because they have to.

Take former Lehi police officer Wade Butterfield, for example, who was charged in 1999 for criminal trespass when he broke into a woman’s home and woke her up while sitting at the edge of her bed. The woman said that when she asked him how he got in he responded: “I’m a cop. They teach us how to do that. I can get in anywhere.”

Butterfield was charged with criminal trespass, later knocked down from a misdemeanor to an infraction. As a sworn officer, though, the conduct was serious enough that his certification was suspended by Utah’s Peace Officer Standards and Training Council. POST, as the agency is commonly known, trains all officers in the state and keeps track of where officers work and what their certification status is.

While POST keeps tabs on where officers end up working, it’s not information they share widely.

Butterfield, as it turns out, would wind up as police chief of Myton, a small town in Duchesne County. There he would be charged with stalking, after a woman alleged that he drove her around in his patrol

“That’s where there should be more public disclosure on those things, as opposed to hiding it away. There needs to be accountability for why individual agencies are hiring these people.”

—Chris Burbank

Former Salt Lake City Police Chief

car for two hours talking about sex.

That woman testified that he told her “My car is like Vegas. What happens here, stays here.” While Butterfield was acquitted of that charge in 2015, even his own attorney admitted his conduct was immoral and unprofessional, just not a crime.

Other officers have also made quiet exits from one department to another following controversy. Kevin Salmon was one of two West Valley City officers involved in the 2012 shooting death of 21-year-old Danielle Willard.

Salmon and his partner Shaun Cowley suspected Willard of buying drugs and opened fire on her when she backed her car out of a parking spot.

Cowley later said he feared she was trying to run him over. The shooting was ruled unjustified by the Salt Lake County District Attorney’s office. It was determined that one of Salmon’s shots grazed her chin but was not the fatal bullet.

While the recently-released POST records show that Cowley did not land a new position in Utah, Salmon went on to work for police departments in Woods Cross, then Cottonwood Heights and, more recently, Riverton.

Records show his status was “separated” from Riverton Police Department on March 1, 2024. An inquiry to the department indicated that Salmon had been investigated as part of a use-of-force investigation but had been cleared of wrongdoing.

The incident came to the attention of Riverton by body camera footage from a Herriman officer with concerns that Salmon may have held down a burglary suspect by placing his knee on the man’s neck. Salmon and other Riverton officers were assisting Herriman officers in the arrest. Riverton reviewed the footage and determined that Salmon had his knee on the suspect’s upper back and not on his neck. Other Riverton officers interviewed said the force was appropriate and was not likely on the neck of the suspect, although the suspect at one point said: “Hey you can let go of the neck, man.”

While Salmon was cleared, the report noted that “Salmon did not have his body camera on during this event, and it was not detailed why in the report.”

Salmon later said the battery had died on the camera.

A request for comment to Salmon was passed to his attorney Bret Rawson. Rawson said Salmon would not comment on the incident but noted that Salmon retired in good standing and now is a business owner. Rawson noted Salmon served with honor and was injured multiple times on the job.

“He was a leader among his peers; he acted always with integrity and professionalism,” Rawson said of Salmon. “The communities he served owe him a debt of gratitude.”

By the numbers

Obtaining the records themselves was no easy task. Beginning in January 2023, The Utah Investigative Journalism Project sought POST’s database of officer certifications showing where they worked and reasons for separations from their employers. POST denied the request and the dispute went to the State Records Committee.

Attorney David Reymann represented The Utah Investigative Journalism Project at the hearing and talked about the lack of transparency by POST.

“This agency tracks nearly 10,000 police officers in a database, and they have refused to release any information,” Reymann said. “Even basic stuff like names and whether they’ve been certified or not. That is stunning and it should stun this committee.”

At the hearing, POST representatives argued against release of the documents based on a number of considerations. David Mooers-Putzer, the attorney representing POST, argued officer safety was the number one consideration—especially for undercover officers who could potentially be exposed if their names were released publicly.

“It’s not really within POST’s ability to determine who is undercover or who may become undercover in the near future,” Mooers-Putzer said.

He noted that officers who go undercover select pseudonyms that are similar to their real name, so even the release of the officer’s real name could link them to their cover identity.

POST then argued it wasn’t its responsibility to find

Chris Burbank

Attorney David Reymann

out which officers were undercover, so the request would have to be made to individual law enforcement agencies.

But the committee disagreed and decided that it was POST’s burden to release the information, with appropriate redactions. It was not until the spring of this year POST was able to remove names of undercover officers and provide the information.

The raw numbers tell their own story about policing in Utah. The data that was eventually released shows the certification records for more than 28,000 officers, including 10,000 active officers from records going back to 2008.

The records have simple labels for types of “status” for the officers, such as those who resigned, were terminated and considered separated, which can include suspensions.

The data shows that there were only 844 terminations out of those 28,000 officers. POST said that the number may be distorted as it may include officers who were certified but never actually got employment in Utah. The document also shows 7,664 officers who resigned. POST acknowledges it is possible that some officers were allowed to resign instead of being terminated.

Burbank, who is now a consultant with the Center for Policing Equity, said when he was chief of police in Salt Lake City, he fired roughly 10 officers each year. He also said he would let officers resign instead of being terminated, but let them know he would document why they were resigning.

“If you resign and go work at Walmart or wherever, you can tell them ‘I resigned from the police department’ and that is an honest assessment,” Burbank said. But he also warned that he would provide information about the resignation if a new employer, including a new police agency, asked for it.

“I am amazed at how many police agencies never called to find out why officers resigned,” he said.

“Constitutional significance”

The new data, while not providing specific details about discipline an officer faced, can still provide important clues. Some details show terminations or even make note of officers resigning when an investigation was requested by their department.

The tool also is useful because a 2019 state audit found examples of agencies not reporting instances of misconduct

to POST that they were required to under the law.

Emma Penrod is President of the Utah Headliners Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. She sees a clear benefit for reporters looking into allegations of police misconduct.

“Given the ever-increasing demands on their time, journalists don’t often have time to check into details outside their immediate area of coverage,” Penrod said. “This tool will allow journalists to quickly reference information from regions they may not cover on a daily basis, which will result in more thorough and accurate news for readers and viewers.”

It’s not only journalists who are often pressed for time. Defense attorneys, who juggle case loads of sometimes hundreds of clients, can also benefit from a reference on the police officers who may have arrested or investigated their clients.

David Ferguson is the Director of the Utah Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers and said understanding an officer’s background is vitally important to a healthy criminal justice system.

“The reasons for termination can have constitutional significance to a criminal defendant and many cases depend on the credibility of the officer’s testimony about what the officer observed and their impressions and assessments,” Ferguson said. “A lot of things show up in bodycam [footage] but a lot of things don’t.”

Ferguson said that in his career of defending more than 1,000 criminal defendants and having dealt with hundreds of officers, never once did the prosecution disclose information about an officer’s past employment or discipline histories that might have resulted in their firing from a previous job. It’s a challenge for these lawyers who lack time and resources to investigate and find out if an officer was fired for falsifying a report or resigned under suspicion because of use of force.

The ironic thing, he said, is that under the law the prosecution has to provide this information.

“Prosecutors don’t inquire about an officer’s employment and past employment and they rely entirely on the officer to self-report,” Ferguson said. “If the officer doesn’t want to reveal that their credibility might be challengeable because of the way they left a past job, it doesn’t get found out. That’s just the reality.”

Bringing Home the Baking

Paris Baguette and Tous les Jours showcase French baking by way of Korea.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Earlier this year, I noticed that we had two bakery franchises whose “French patisserie by way of Korean recipes” concept was intriguing. I’ve been on a bit of a bakery kick this month, so I decided that the time was right to visit both Paris Baguette and Tous les Jours to get a sense of what these new additions to our local bakery scene have to offer. In the process, I learned that I appreciate bakeries that work smoked sausage into their offerings, and that I am also a texture slut.

Overall, the idea of two similar out-oftown operations coming to Utah around the same time isn’t unheard of; our recent glut of fried-chicken restaurants can attest to this. What was initially fascinating to me is that Paris Baguette and Tous les Jours are only a mile or so apart, both of them on the 7200 South drag in Midvale. As they were so close to one another, it seemed like a good idea to hit them both up with my wife and daughter, since the amount of food I wanted to try required at least three hungry Springers.

We started with Paris Baguette which, speaking of franchise frenzy, is neighbors with the Post Malone-ified Raising Cane’s location. Under the watchful gaze of a 30-foot, fuchsia-tinted portrait of the rap-rocker himself, we entered the bakery and got our bearings. Paris Baguette’s service is cafeteria style—diners can grab a tray from up front, and then use sheets of wax paper to snag whatever they like

out of the display cases. Once you’ve got everything loaded up, you take it up to the cash register, where you can also order from a wide variety of coffees and teas. While I totally love this approach, it does make it easy to give into your reckless abandon and completely forget that you have to pay for your pile of pastries at the end.

Our order at Paris Baguette consisted of a pepperoni pizzetta ($5.29), a hamand-cheese pastry ($4.69), a crab meat croquette ($4.29), a strawberry croissant ($5.89) and a choux cream bread ($2.89). The savory options can be zapped in a toaster oven, which I would definitely recommend in order to get anything cheese-related nice and melty. Of the savory options, the pizetta and the hamand-cheese pastry were my favorites. They used a good, smoky mozzarella, which is the star of the show, though the pepperoni and pastry dough were also excellent. The ham-and-cheese pastry has a slice of parmesan on the outside that gets baked onto the pastry itself, making this an excellent study in crisp textures and buttery flavors.

The strawberry croissant was also a fine example of how the simple pleasures of a buttery laminate cannot be beat. It was the choux cream bread that really gave me pause, however. Most of the items we tried were French through and through, but this little bun is where France and Korea really high-five. The choux cream is a bit like the light, eggy choux dough used in eclairs, and it’s stuffed into this wonderfully soft sweetbread bun which is a nod to Korean baking. It still has a bit of chew from the golden exterior, but the dough is so light and airy that it’s an absolute pleasure to eat.

We paced ourselves appropriately at Paris Baguette, so we headed just a few blocks west to get to Tous les Jours. We were already veterans at the whole “grab a tray and load up” service style, which is also in play at Tous les Jours. They offer

DINE

metal tongs for filling up your tray, and their savory items are stored in a heated case to keep them melty. Here we tried the sweet frank roll ($4.35), the croque monsieur ($5.25), some milky bread ($4.65) and a strawberry soft ($3.85).

Both the sweet frank roll and the croque monsieur are tasty—again, wrapping a sausage in some butter pastry is always going to be a win for me. The croque monsieur had a nice mozzarella crust on top of the bread, and the ham and cheese inside got nice and creamy after being heated up. I liked both of these, but I think Paris Baguette has the right idea by popping their savory items in a toaster oven.

I’m aware that “milky bread” and “strawberry soft” might not sound particularly appetizing to Western ears, but you are a fool if you avoid these items. Milky bread (sometimes called milk bread) is another Korean baked delicacy that somehow manages to be decadently soft. Even the fluffiest angel food cake would be considered too dense in their presence. The strawberry soft is a pink, baguette-sized version of the milk bread that is sliced open and filled with an equally frothy strawberry pastry cream. It’s like eating a dessert sandwich that melts in your mouth, leaving you with a lovely, subtle strawberry flavor.

Both Paris Baguette and Tous les Jours are fascinating studies in the FrenchKorean baking fusion that has made both brands international successes. Bakery fans looking for something out of the ordinary will enjoy either of them. CW

PARIS BAGUETTE

950 E. Fort Union Boulevard 385-342-2762 parisbaguette.com TOUS LES JOURS Multiple locations tljus.com

Paris Baguette

2 Row Brewing

73 West 7200 South, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: Lollygaggin’ Farmhouse Ale

Avenues Proper

376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap:  Cerveza De Mayo for Bewilder.

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

On Tap: California Steam Lager, American Heritage Lager NEW: Oktoberfest Märzenbier

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Pie Hole; Strawberry Rhubarb Tart Ale

Craft by Proper 1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Ay Curuba! Curuba Sour

Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Imperial Pumpkin Porter; Barrel-aged Imperial Pumpkin Porter

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: All-American Blend Cider, Lemon-Lime-Grapefruit Session Mead

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

On Tap: Cask Nitro CO2

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co.

1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Mission Improbable - West Coast Pilsner (A Collaboration with Lauder Day Brewers)

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

On Tap: Chinchillin’ Cerveza; Anniversary Ale: The Sevens Unleashed (Coming Sep. 21)

Level Crossing Brewing Co.

2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna-Style Lager

Follow us on Instagram: @ levelcrossingbrewing

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST

550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Bat Country Blonde Ale FREE yoga every other Saturday. 10:15am

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

On Tap:  Arnie (Co-Lab with 2 Row brewing): cream ale base with Lychee black tea and fresh pasteurized lemon juice.

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Barrel-aged Mojito hard cider

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/ On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewery 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: GNAR Juice - 5.0% Hard Seltzer, infused with electrolytes from Gnarly Nutrition

Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com

Prodigy Brewing 25 W Center St. Logan Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I am the VVitch Seasonal Golden Ale with Pumpkin and Spices

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Munich Dunkel

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project

30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Localz Only NZ Pils

Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Roosters Ogtoberfest

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, S Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com

On Tap: Passion Fruit/Orange/ Guava Wheat Beer

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: Prickly Pear Kolsch

Scion Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com

On Tap: Scion Ex-Missonary 6.4% ABV

Second Summit Cider 4010 So. Main, Millcreek secondsummitcider.com On Tap: Oktoberfest Cider

Shades Brewing

154 W. Utopia Ave, S Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Slushies; Harvey Wallbanger Sour Ale

Shades On State

366 S. State Street SLC Shadesonstate.com

On Tap: Salud Mexican Lager; Spring Fever Grapefruit Radler

Silver Reef

4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George SGBev.com

Squatters Pub Brewery / Salt Lake Brewing Co.

147 W. Broadway, SLC saltlakebrewingco.com/ squatters

On Tap: Salt Lake Brewing Co.Big U Pilsner

Squatters and Wasatch Brewery

1763 So 300 West SLC UT 84115 Utahbeers.com

On Tap: Bulletproof Zest Lemon Kolsch

Small Batch Series Release: Polyandry Pilsner - Fri 9/13

Strap Tank Brewery, Lehi 3661 Outlet Pkwy, Lehi, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: “The Sundering” (Passionfruit/Guava Juicy Pale); “Stay Gold” (English Golden)

Strap Tank Brewery, Springville 596 S 1750 W, Springville, UT StrapTankBrewery.com

On Tap: The Gambler (Mango Kolsch); Art City Rider (Coffee/ Coconut Blonde)

TF Brewing

BEER NERD

Malty and Spiced

Harvest flavors swirl in this week’s picks

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Salt Lake Brewing - 89 Barleywine: Brewed to celebrate 35 years in business for Squatters/Salt Lake Brewing Company, this English-style barleywine was crafted by the long-time head Brewer of Salt Lake’s original brewpub, Jason Stock, as a thank-you to the generations of customers who have hoisted a pint over three-and-a-half decades.

It pours a three-finger, slightly foamy, off-white head with excellent retention; a clear burnt amber color shines through, with lower levels of carbonation evident. The head slowly fades to a full wisp, and coats the sides of the glass; a film remains until the end, leaving lots of lacing down the glass as it empties. It looks great, then follows with a bold nose of toffee, caramel, dried fruits, apple notes and some mango. It is really fruity and tempting.

Lots of flavor emerges here, with toffee and dried fruits upfront, then some spicy alcohol at the swallow. The finish yields more sweet toffee and caramel, mango, dried fruits, berries, spicy alcohol and a hint of piney hop bitterness on the palate—flavorful and well-balanced. Medium-bodied with moderate levels of carbonation, it’s creamy on the palate, goes down smooth and finishes slightly fruity for a barleywine. You get some heat, with no lingering alcohol.

Verdict: Really good overall—and it may be overlooked, which is probably because it’s not 15.0 percent ABV and barrel-aged. This 8.0 percent ale is a flavorful and enjoyable barleywine with plenty of character, which drinks far too easy. Perhaps a little more residual sweetness would help put this over the edge in this category, but as it is, I

enjoyed it very much and would gladly drink it again.

Fisher - Wet Your Willet: The brewers tell me that the brewhouse smelled kinda Christmas-like when they brewed Wet Your Willet, as this collaboration with the Sageland Collaborative features rye malt over a bed of ground juniper and whole-leaf sage. It’s a cloudy goldenyellow in the glass, with huge billows of foam. Barely escaping a foam-over, this white rock of a foam cap slowly nestles back down into the glass, leaving just some stray dots and sprigs of lace behind—a pretty decent-looking beer, despite the stress of the foam-over.

The aroma has a spicy, pungent whiff. Sage jumps out at first, big and perfumy, but the juniper isn’t far behind. It does have that classic fir tree aroma that screams of the holidays, but the sage keeps things from getting too Christmassy. From there, it goes grainy, with a touch of citrus.

With such an aromatic start, the first swig is much-anticipated. The hops, juniper and sage start things off with a swirling and overlapping punch. There is a decent bready and malty base to the ale, but this is a spice-driven brew. Some orange and light pine flavor come next, with good restraint and balance on both. You get a little mild 5.0 percent ABV warmth going down, which is not something I’d expect from this lighterABV entry. There’s a bit of resonant bitterness on the aftertaste, which may be the juniper. Easy carbonation, with a fluffy and easy-drinking body.

Verdict: The resulting brew features beautiful, delicate aromas of sage and juniper. In the mouth, the sage seems to stand out, with backing juniper on the finish. I enjoyed it, and would have it again, and hope it becomes a component of Fisher’s returning seasonal rotation.

You can find Wet Your Willett in 16-ounce cans at Fisher to-go, or to be enjoyed at the brewery. The 89 Barleywine is only available in capped 750 ml. bottles at Salt Lake Brewing Company locations, and can be purchased to-go or enjoyed at their pubs as well.

As always, cheers! CW

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Wagyu and Wine Pairing at The Capital Grille

The Capital Grille (thecapitalgrille.com) has rolled out a swanky burger-and-wine pairing just in time for autumn, and it looks amazing. The downtown restaurant will feature three wagyu burger and wine pairings: A classic cheeseburger with grilled onions and Vermont white cheddar paired with a merlot from Napa Valley’s Duckhorn Vineyards; a rich blue cheese and black truffle burger with a cabernet, also from Duckhorn Vineyards; and a shiitake mushroom and Swiss burger paired with a pinot noir from the Sonoma Coast’s Migration Vineyard (also part of the Duckhorn wine portfolio). Pairings can also be supplemented with a caramelized onion and caviar dip served with housemade potato chips. Pairings are available by reservation only until Nov. 1.

Park City Welcomes Loma

Chef and restaurateur Adam Ross of Park City’s Twisted Fern recently opened an Italian restaurant called Loma (lomaparkcity.com). After perusing the menu online, I think it’s a safe bet that fans of Twisted Fern—and fans of Italian food in general—are going to want to check this one out. One of the things that has made Twisted Fern popular is its penchant for rustic, locally-sourced ingredients, and Loma looks to be cut from the same cloth. It’s also striking me as a mite fancier; dishes like malfadine, with its butter-poached lobster and venison ragout sound downright luxurious. Like Twisted Fern, I also appreciate that Loma has a kid’s menu. The little ones gotta start eating fancy food sometime.

The Locker Room and Fiddler’s Elbow Roadhouse Close

Longtime Sugar House residents will remember Fiddler’s Elbow, the popular pub and hangout for Westminster college students. Last year, new owners expanded the space into a restaurant and LGBTQ+ friendly sports bar—Fiddler’s Elbow Roadhouse and The Locker Room, respectively. After Beast From the East, a local sandwich pop-up, canceled their event at The Locker Room due to its closure, the socials were abuzz with news about this restaurant and bar’s end. We’ll keep an eye on the space to see if there are any updates to this story, but it’s looking like Fiddler’s Elbow Roadhouse and The Locker Room are no more.

Quote of the Week: “A burger is a work of art that satisfies both hunger and soul.”

–Julia Child

Thanks a Melon

Equinox: Melon Nights creates an event combining burner culture and local agriculture for a good cause.

BY ARICA ROBERTS comments@cityweekly.net

People worldwide are using watermelon images to support a ceasefire in Gaza. Watermelons appear at protests, on walls and in online posts, symbolizing solidarity amid the increasing civilian casualties and destruction. Beyond representing the Palestinian flag’s colors, the watermelon has long symbolized Palestinian resistance to occupation. Due to censorship on media platforms, the watermelon has deepened in meaning as a modest act of defiance.

One Salt Lake City resident, Alec Bang, was inspired by the watermelon symbol to organize a music festival in Utah called “Equinox: Melon Nights,” which will donate 10 percent of its proceeds to The Palestine Children’s Relief Fund (PCRF).

For three days and two nights of camping, Sept. 20-22, the music and arts festival coincides with the famous “Melon Days” in Green River, Utah, where the festival is located, as well as the autumn equinox. “The watermelon is a symbol of Palestine

because of censorship. Whereas, the Equinox is a portal. … I want to honor everyone’s ancestors and everyone’s culture. … I want to transport us to other cultures through this portal,” Bang said.

The event and the cause are symbiotic with melons. Bang chose this organization because of its work helping farms recover from devastation and to rebuild. He draws a connection between melons, farmers and the support for children who are facing hunger and genocide.

Because melons are a staple main crop out of southern Utah, Melon Days is a special time to celebrate food. The honor of food also includes giving back— in this case, to Palestine, where starvation is rampant due to Israeli blockades of food supplies and bombing of farms.

“In a time of hopelessness and helplessness and so much devastation, we can come together and give back,” Bang said.

He points out that while “burner” events are conceptually “all-inclusive,” at this event, “all are welcome, it also needs to be accessible and not just focused on ticket sales.”

For example, Burning Man— the main arts attraction for “burners” in Black Rock Desert, Nevada—is a large-scale event with lots of money that claims “Radical Inclusion” as the first of its 10 principles. This year, however, organizers censored an art installation of a watermelon entitled “From the River to the Sea.”

The blatant censorship of something intended to represent hope and dignity inspired Bang to draw attention to the issue in his own way. Contributing to his event

MUSIC

would thus be an act of solidarity in itself.

To pull this off, Bang has teamed up with Wasteland Caravan, as well as Jenkstar Ranch in Green River, to highlight and showcase local Salt Lake artists, musicians and dancers across genres and cultures, for a cause that is complementary to the famous Melon Days. You’ll be able

to see acts like Moroccan DJ “Yax Musika” and DJ “Miel,” who runs the music and community collective ¡DYKED! for marginalized genders (women, nonbinary and trans) and QTBIPOC individuals.

There are also many other Salt Lake City local DJs, singers, musicians and bands on the diverse lineup, including VI:BRA, 4EYE, Shaws, Regular Ass Dude, Mavi

Blue, Molly Mars, Annie Platt, The Smokin’ Yogurt, Charlie Marie and Bang’s own band, The Cult Classics. The idea is to amplify artists from more marginalized communities and make the event accessible to these folks by inviting all trans and BIPOC individuals to attend for free, no questions asked. Bang stresses that these are important steps for burner culture to be less homogenous and more welcoming.

Along with the inclusivity of the event, Bang is committed to seeing that the donations go directly to farms and farmers who can help rebuild food systems and make sure that people, especially children, will continue to be fed.

There are other ways for people to contribute funds if they cannot make it to the event. Anyone can make a direct donation, and Bang is also selling collaborative artwork between himself and Alyssa Huff called “Why Melon Nights?” They will be selling hoodies, tshirts, and prints as a way to raise additional money.

Check out the Instagram pages @wastelandcaravan and @ bangalec to learn more about the event, see the full lineup of musicians, purchase tickets, or donate and contribute in other ways. Reach out to Bang directly for an access code for trans and BIPOC individuals for the event.

See also pcrf.net for more information on The Palestine Children’s Relief Fund. CW

Courtesy Photo

THURSDAYS

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS THE BEST HIP HOP IN SLC

SHARK SUNDAYS

POOL TOURNEY HOSTED BY TANNER

MONDAYS

REGGAE MONDAY WITH DJ NAPO

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS KARAOKE

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

MUSIC PICK S

Louis the Child @ The Complex 9/20

For those of us who aren’t quite ready for summer to be over, check out Louis the Child at this event over the weekend. Consisting of Robby Hauldren and Frederic J. Kennet, Louis the Child is an EDM duo known for feel-good music that the whole family can enjoy. If you’re a fan of other producers like Flume, Porter Robinson or Odesza, you’ll enjoy this “A Day in the Sun” tour. Check out songs like “Blow The Roof” featuring singers Kasbo and Evan Giia, “Cry” from their latest album, To Believe, or their latest single “Believe It” (featuring fellow producer Madeon) for a future house song, and some other good examples of their sound. Included on the tour is Jai Wolf, the Bangladeshi producer born Sajeeb Saha, who won our hearts after his best-known single “Indian Summer” released in 2015. Even almost a decade later, it is still very much a euphoric happy place you are transported to through that song. The dance music duo MEMBA (Ishaan Chaudhary and Will Curry) and Texas-native Daniel Allan are all on Louis the Child’s tour as well. This diverse line-up is one you don’t want to miss. Here’s hoping that we can all enjoy “A Day in the Sun” before the weather turns. The all-ages event takes place at The Complex on Friday, Sept. 20. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. General admission costs $45 at thecomplexslc. com. (Arica Roberts)

MUSIC PICK S

Soul Coughing @ The Depot, 9/20

Soul Coughing has long been ailed by a common sonic sickness—namely, being an alternative rock outfit, full of creativity and invention, that is widely critically-acclaimed and overall well-received, but never quite as popular as they should have been until streaming placed them gently back on the periphery of the scene’s radar. In retrospect, their music has clearly inspired and mentored the now ever-popular likes of Parquet Courts, Viagra Boys, Black Midi (RIP) and even the edgier and larger sellers Idles—whether the mentees know it or not. Around for decades and boasting the 1994 standout album Ruby Vroom in their arsenal, Soul Coughing will reunite as the original lineup for the first time in 25 (!!) years, embarking on a U.S. tour and surprisingly making a pit stop in our own little ‘ole Salt Lake City. With their unique blend of sound and lyricism into an overall exciting contagion, this is a once-in-a-quarter-lifetime show not to be bypassed. Tickets for the all-ages show can be found on concerts.livenation.com, and begin at $48 for general admission. Doors open at 8 p.m. (Sophie Caligiuri)

Bit Brigade @ Urban Lounge 9/21

I’ve always been a fan of video-game music, and to this day, I still personally hum the main theme in Super Mario World. I’ve finished this game a couple of times over the years, and it still holds up brilliantly. The levels with no floor—just an insta-death plummet—are beautifully pitched, just forgiving enough to avoid the need for pixel-accurate jumps, and easily hard enough to make every new section a leap into the unknown. But I digress. The Athens, Ga.-based four-piece (five if you count their “player one”) Bit Brigade is a live gaming experience. You see, they perform rock covers of full NES game soundtracks, as their gamer speed-runs the game live on stage. For the uninitiated, speedrunning is a play-through of a video game performed with the intent of completing a goal as fast as possible. And look, if we really want to get in the weeds regarding music, SNES composers use a scripting language called MML (Music Macro Language) to write it. That’s word to Koji Kondo! As a bonus (level), the band will

also perform/play futuristic racer F-Zero in its entirety. This remains one of the greatest racing games ever made. Witnessing the Bit Brigade in a live setting is possibly mankind’s greatest achievement. Super Guitar Bros open. Catch these musicians at the Urban Lounge on Saturday, Sept 21. Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets for the 21+ show are $17 and can be found at 24tix.com. (Mark Dago)

Hoodoo Gurus @ The State Room 9/22

The Hoodoo Gurus have long been one of the best bands that seemingly only college students know about. Staking out a spot at the tuneful and hooky end of the ’80s college rock vanguard, Sydney, Australia’s Hoodoo Gurus roared out of the gate with a searing debut, 1984’s Stoneage Romeos. With two instant classics (“My Girl” and “I Want You Back”), the group got off to a strong start. That record scraped the lower reaches of the mainstream U.S. album chart (#209) but soared all the way to the #1 place on the college radio chart. That latter feat would be

duplicated on each of the band’s subsequent three albums; their fifth LP (1991’s Kinky) made it to number two. Guitarist, songwriter and lead singer Dave Faulkner soldiered on, creating critically-acclaimed albums that were full of great songs, humor and rock attitude, yet inexplicably the band has never quite broken through to the mainstream here; in Australia, every single one of their albums has charted. The Hoodoo Gurus’ most recent album, 2022’s Chariot of the Gods, displays the same winning garage-rock influenced tunefulness that has long defined the band. COVID-era tour dates were scrapped, but now the Hoodoo Gurus have scheduled a run of U.S. concerts. The band comes to The State Room Sunday, Sept. 22 at 8 p.m.; resale tickets for this sold-out 21+ show are $41 and up at ticketmaster.com. (Bill Kopp)

Wynonna Judd @ Sandy Amphitheater 9/25

After starting her singing career with her mother Naomi in the duo known as The Judds, Wynonna carved out her solo success both during and after the family pair achieved stardom. Even as the Judds earned critical acclaim, Wynonna found high honors on her own, including several number-one singles and best-selling

albums on the country music charts, recognition from the People’s Choice Awards, four Grammy Awards, four Country Music Awards, a star on Nashville’s Music Walk of Fame, membership in the Country Music Hall of Fame and numerous other accomplishments. Yet despite all her success, she’s had to contend with problematic personal issues along the way, including Naomi’s depression and subsequent death by suicide, eating disorders, a troubled first marriage, her daughter’s brush with the law for drug issues and her husband Scott Moser’s near-fatal motorcycle accident, which resulted in the amputation of his left leg just above the knee. Nevertheless, she prevailed and continues to be one of the most beloved performers in country music, as well as a popular presence on network TV and a champion for the USO and Habitat for Humanity. Clearly, her own humanity consistently comes to the fore, making her “Big Noise Band” appropriate branding for an artist who can claim larger-than-life accomplishments. Wynonna Judd’s “Back to Wyoming” tour comes to Sandy Amphitheater on Wednesday, Sept. 25 at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $39 - $549.50 (for premium ticket packages) at ticketmaster. com. (Lee Zimmerman)

Hoodoo Gurus

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Few vegetables grown in the 21st century are in their original, wild form. Many are the result of crossbreeding carried out by humans. The intention is to increase the nutritional value of the food, boost its yield, improve its resistance to insect predators and help it survive weather extremes. I invite you to apply the metaphor of crossbreeding to your life in the coming months. You will place yourself in maximum alignment with cosmic rhythms if you conjure up new blends. So be a mix master, Aries. Favor amalgamations and collaborations. Transform jumbles and hodgepodges into graceful composites. Make “alloy” and “hybrid” your words of power.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy,” quipped comedian Spike Milligan. I propose we make that your running joke for the next eight months. If there was ever a time when you could get rich more quickly, it would be between now and mid-2025. And the chances of that happening may be enhanced considerably if you optimize your relationship with work. What can you do now to help ensure you will be working at a well-paying job you like for years to come?

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The World Health Organization says that 3.5 billion people don’t have access to safe toilets; 2.2 billion live without safe drinking water; 2 billion don’t have facilities in their homes to wash their hands with soap and water. But it’s almost certain you don’t suffer from these basic privations. Most likely, you get the water you require to be secure and healthy. You have what you need to cook food and make drinks. You can take baths or showers when you want. You wash your clothes easily. Maybe you water a garden. I bring this to your attention because now is an excellent time to celebrate the water in your life. It’s also a time to be extra fluid, flowing and juicy. Here’s a fun riddle for you: What could you do to make your inner life wetter and better lubricated?

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Cancerian rapper and actor Jaden Smith has won midlevel awards and been nominated for a Grammy. I was surprised that he said, “I don’t think I’m as revolutionary as Galileo, but I don’t think I’m not as revolutionary as Galileo.” If I’m interpreting his sly brag correctly, Jaden is suggesting that maybe he is pretty damn revolutionary. I’m thrilled he said it because I love to see Cancerians overcome your natural inclination to be humble and self-effacing. It’s OK with me if you sometimes push too far. In the coming weeks, I am giving you license to wander into the frontiers of braggadocio.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Research by psychologists at Queen’s University in Canada concluded the average human has about 6,200 thoughts every day. Other studies suggest that 75% of our thoughts are negative, and 95% are repetitive. But here’s the good news, Leo: My astrological analysis suggests that the amount of your negative and repetitive thoughts could diminish in the coming weeks. You might even get those percentages down to 35% and 50%, respectively. Just imagine how refreshed you will feel. With all that rejuvenating energy coursing through your brain, you may generate positive, unique thoughts at an astounding rate. Take maximum advantage, please!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You have probably heard the platitude, “Be cautious about what you wish for. You might get it.” The implied warning is that if your big desires are fulfilled, your life may change in unpredictable ways that require major adjustments. That’s useful advice. However, I have often found that the “major adjustments” necessary are often interesting and healing—strenuous, perhaps, but ultimately enlivening. In my vision of your future, Virgo,

the consequences of your completed goal will fit that description. You will be mostly pleased with the adaptations you must undertake in response to your success.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The bird known as the gray-headed albatross makes long, continuous flights without touching the ground. I propose we nominate this robust traveler to be one of your inspirational animals in the coming months. I suspect you, too, will be capable of prolonged quests that unleash interesting changes in your life. I don’t necessarily mean your quests will involve long-distance travel. They may, but they might also take the form of vast and deep explorations of your inner terrain. Or maybe you will engage in bold efforts to investigate mysteries that will dramatically open your mind and heart.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

You are in a position and frame of mind to go hunting for a novel problem or two. I’m half-joking, but also very serious. I believe you are primed to track down interesting dilemmas that will bring out the best and attract the educational experiences you need. These riddles will ensure that boring old riddles and paltry hassles won’t bother you. Bonus prediction: You are also likely to dream up an original new “sin” that will stir up lucky fun.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Your spinning and weaving abilities will be strong in the coming weeks. I predict that your knack for creating sturdy, beautiful webs will catch the resources and influences you require. Like a spider, you must simply prepare the scenarios to attract what you need, then patiently relax while it all comes to you. Refining the metaphor further, I will tell you that you have symbolic resemblances to the spiders known as cross orbweavers. They produce seven different kinds of silk, each useful in its own way—and in a sense, so can you. Your versatility will help you succeed in interesting ways.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorn basketball player JamesOn Curry had the briefest career of anyone who ever played in America’s top professional league. Around his birthday in 2010, while a member of the Los Angeles Clippers, he appeared on the court for 3.9 seconds—and never returned. Such a short-lived effort is unusual for the Capricorn tribe—and will not characterize your destiny in the coming months. I predict you will generate an intense outpouring of your sign’s more typical expressions: durability, diligence, persistence, tenacity, resilience, determination, resolve and steadfastness. Ready to get underway in earnest?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

It’s a good time to embrace the serpent, metaphorically speaking. You may even enjoy riding, playing with and learning from the serpent. The coming weeks will be a favorable phase for you to kiss the wind, consult with ancestors and wrestle with the most fascinating questions. So get a wild look in your eyes, dear Aquarius. Dare to shed mediocre pleasures so you can better pursue spectacular pleasures. Experiment only with smart gambles and high-integrity temptations, and flee the other kinds. PS: If you challenge the past to a duel (a prospect I approve of), be well-armed with the future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Panda bears don’t seem to enjoy sex. The typical length of their mating encounters is 30 seconds to two minutes. There was a dramatic exception in 2015, however. Lu Lu and Zhen Zhen, pandas living at the Sichuan Giant Panda Research Center in China, snuggled and embraced for 18 minutes. It was unprecedented. I encourage you, too, to break your previous records for tender cuddling and erotic play in the coming weeks. The longer and slower you go, the more likely it is you will generate

and awakenings.

urban LIVING

More More More

Last week, I wrote about high-rises here, and yet another one has been making the news as of late. Developer Harbor Bay Ventures wants to plop a 14-story residential and retail tower on the corner of 1100 East and 2100 South in Sugar House, where a Wells Fargo bank sits, smack dab in the middle of what’s become—for drivers—a traffic nightmare.

On one hand, the out-of-state developer’s reps say that the building would add value to the community, reduce the need for parking stalls, increase mass transit use and relieve traffic. They are cheeky enough to be asking the city for what is known as “spot zoning” to approve their idea, which is basically illegal in my opinion, as they are asking for different and extreme zoning compared to the surrounding zones.

Such a request tends to only favor the property owner who can convince local authorities that what they want to build will be a community asset, whereas the change in zoning could increase car traffic and impact the value of nearby properties.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m in favor of more housing options as we’re in a housing crisis, both city- and statewide. However, I haven’t heard any indication from the developer that the project will be dedicated to affordable housing. One long-term Sugar House Community Council volunteer spoke up against it to say “All the rich people will live here.”

The Planning and Zoning Commission voted not to approve the new zone, with Commissioner Amy Barry stating that the plan would increase traffic congestion and exceed utility capacity, and the project has a perceived lack of overall community benefit. They did chime in that the developer should come back with a better plan that they may approve in the future.

Pull back the microscope from Sugar House and we find that the Salt Lake County Council voted last week to consider purchasing a new government center in Midvale. The county complex on 2100 S. State Street is 40 years old and it’s estimated it would take at least $225 million to update and renovate that site for future needs.

The county is hoping to purchase a newer home, which was previously Overstock.com’s offices in Midvale, for roughly $55 million. That makes sense, as it’s a more central location for county residents to use, being near a Trax station and Interstate 15.

What would happen to the old County Government Center? That too could become a potential high-rise development if the land was sold.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. A, in Spain

4. Removes, as a hat

9. Word before bod or joke

12. State of danger

15. Allotted portion

16. Soccer stadium cheer

17. Aerosmith lead singer who announced his retirement from touring this year

19. Took the prize

20. “You’re totally wrong”

21. Made-up big number in Hobbit lore

23. Allow

24. Reggae singer ___ Kamoze

26. It’s in the loop

27. Bitten by the acting bug, maybe

33. Where funamblists walk

34. Court

35. Grammy winner Black

38. “Mr. Blue Sky” band

39. Gave an edge to

41. Diaphragmatic spasm noise

42. Trample

44. Heat sensor on the range?

50. Party spoiler

51. Take to court

52. “Son ___ Critch” (Canadian sitcom)

53. Like ungulates such as pigs, hippos, and giraffes (but who’s counting?)

57. Concoct

59. German definite article

60. “Let me blow off some steam,” or the reason for five other Across theme answers?

62. Verb ender

63. “Hot in Herre” rapper

64. Tough-to-find character

65. Printers’ dash lengths

66. “Evening Shade” narrator Davis

67. Tajikistan, previously, for short

DOWN

1. Convinced to shell out more

2. It comes before “lands” or “world”

3. Coy comeback

4. “Spring ahead” clock abbr.

5. “___ of little faith”

6. Topple

7. Giveaway gift

8. Person who waits

9. Urban center

10. Tons

11. Say it isn’t

13. 1961 Nobelist Andric or comedian Graham

14. Forgiving

18. Italian grandma

22. Middle-earth inhabitant

25. Words after “as” that, on their own, look grammatically incorrect

28. Baron ___ Rightoften (playable character in the 1984 Trivial Pursuit arcade game)

29. NHL player in Edmonton

30. Many charity golf tournaments

31. Sturgeon eggs

32. “The ___ Squad”

35. Comedian Margaret

36. 54, in Roman numerals

37. Glacier breakaways

39. Keyboarder’s base (index fingers on F and J!)

40. “___ Punch Man”

42. Last word of an HBO megahit

43. Have reservations

45. Smoking alternative, ages ago

46. Pizzeria owner Jim who founded a frozen-pizza manufacturing company

47. Linen closet items

48. Money in an online wallet, e.g.

49. “Jurassic Park” predator

53. Falco who appears in the “Avatar” sequels

54. Type of diagrams appreciated by Kamala Harris

55. Squiggly fish

56. Salami source

58. Longoria on the current season of “Only Murders in the Building”

61. Turn eggs green, perhaps

Last week’s answers

I would love to see the county invest in more senior housing options, and the current site on State could potentially allow for more than 500 senior apartments, a need that few are talking about these days. Those on fixed incomes and Social Security are really having an impossible time finding affordable housing options—much of the county’s inventory of senior housing is quite old and

their

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

NEWS of the WEIRD

Look, Don’t Touch

Picture it: a curious young boy at a museum. An ancient artifact unprotected by glass. Bet you can’t guess what happened next. On Aug. 23, reports CNN, a 4-year-old boy visited the Hecht Museum in Haifa, Israel, with his parents. According to the child’s father, the boy noticed a large ceramic container and “pulled the jar slightly,” wanting to see what was inside—accidentally smashing the 3,500-year-old relic in the process. Museum officials were unfazed: “We are appealing to parents: Don’t be afraid. Things like this happen,” said museum head Inbal Rivlin. “We will fix (the jar) and put it back.” The Hecht Museum displays some items without protective cases, a nod to founder Reuben Hecht’s belief in allowing the public to experience archaeological finds with as few barriers as possible. The jar dates to between 2200 B.C. and 1500 B.C., and was likely used for storing and transporting liquid goods such as wine or oil. Finding an intact vessel was something of a rarity, and restoration efforts are already underway.

Book Lover Booked

A 71-year-old flat owner in Rome woke one night to find a burglar in his residence ... reading a book about The Iliad . The BBC reported on Aug. 24 that the would-be burglar claims he broke into the building to visit someone else and simply found himself in the wrong unit. Spotting Giovanni Nucci’s book The Gods at Six O’Clock , a retelling of The Iliad from a divine perspective, the 38-year-old settled in for storytime. When the homeowner awoke and confronted him, the thief attempted to get away via the balcony, but was soon arrested. News of the bookworm burglar made its way to the author, who said he’d like to give the criminal a copy: “... he’ll have been arrested halfway through reading it. I’d like him to be able to finish it.” Nucci added that his favorite deity is Hermes, the god of thieves—and of literature.

Better Late Than Never

The U.K.-based Royal Mail service delivered a postcard to the Swansea Building Society in Wales—a mere 121 years after it was posted. The BBC reported on Aug. 21 that the Christmas-themed postcard was addressed to “Miss Lydia Davies” and signed by “Ewart.” Among other lines, Ewart apologizes for not picking up a “pair” of an unknown item: “I am so sorry, but I hope you are enjoying yourself at home.” The postcard made waves online after Henry Darby, the Swansea Building Society’s marketing and communications officer, found it when sorting through the post. Unable to find any information about Lydia, he took to social media for help. West Glamorgan Archives confirmed that a John Davies once lived at the address in question with his wife, Maria, and six children—including Lydia, who would have been 16 when the postcard was sent.

Unclear on the Concept

A groundhog made headlines in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, about an hour from Punxsutawney—but not for predicting the weather. Fun-seekers playing the claw machine at an arcade realized one of the “stuffed animals” was blinking back at them, reported the Associated Press on Aug. 14. Manager Lynn Castle of The Meadows frozen custard and mini-golf isn’t sure how the critter got in, but said it almost took an army to release the rodent. Employees contacted the machine’s owners, who passed the buck to the police, who called in the Pennsylvania Game Commission. Game wardens were able to open the machine and set the rodent, dubbed Colonel Custard, free in a field. Castle and The Meadows wasted no time capitalizing, making T-shirts that said “Respect the Groundhog” and naming a frozen treat flavor after their furry visitor. “It’s a good story that ended well,” Castle said. “He got set free. No one got bit.”

U R in Trouble

Some people yell, throw things or shut down when they get mad. Not Dr. Giovanni Baula. According to court records in St. Petersburg, Florida, on two occasions, the good doctor expressed his ire with Dr. Dylan Dinesh by dousing the latter’s office doors in gallons of fluid that smelled suspiciously like urine. As The Smoking Gun reported on Aug. 28, court documents say the liquid “soaked into the front wooden doors, causing irreparable damage.” Dinesh’s practice suffered $6,000 worth of losses, in addition to $1,500 to replace the doors. Baula was arrested and charged with a felony count of criminal mischief, but released after paying a $5,000 bond. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Baula doesn’t exactly have a clean rap sheet. In 2003, he was fined $10,000 and reprimanded by the Board of Medicine for standard-of-care violations, including improperly prescribing medication for a telehealth client that he never physically examined. His medical license expires in January 2025.

Is Nowhere Sacred?

Thanat Thangtewanon of Thailand recently had a bathroom break that was, well, nuts. India’s Deccan Herald reported that on Aug. 22, a routine trip to the washroom ended with Thangtewanon killing a python that had bitten his testicles. “I felt something biting my balls, which was very painful, so I put my hands in,” he said. After whacking the reptile on the head with a toilet brush until it died and released its grip, Thangtewanon headed to the hospital for a tetanus shot. Doctors assured him that his injury wasn’t too deep, and that no stitches would be required. Perhaps he should count himself lucky, all things considered—pythons are known for suffocating and squeezing their prey to death!