Bar•Bat Mitzvah, Fall 2022

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Lindsey Beckwith Photography

A VERY 2022 BAT MITZVAH STORY

This past August, one of my colleagues here at the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company celebrated his daughter’s bat mitzvah – an occasion that turned out to be a triumph over adversity story for the COVID-19 age.

Stephen Langel, our Columbus bureau chief, celebrated his daughter Emily’s bat mitzvah, rst planned for May. But two days before, Emily tested positive for COVID-19.

Emily’s mother, Rabbi Shana Nyer, and Langel jumped into action to reschedule it, amid obvious disappointment and stress. The silver lining quickly became clear.

Both the ceremony and party were planned at Suburban Temple-Kol Ami in Beachwood, where Nyer is director of lifelong learning, and they rescheduled for a date in August relatively easily. Vendors, which included 56 Kitchen & Catering, Pizzazz Pizzeria, Jack’s Deli and Restaurant, Scott T. Morrison at Discovery Photo and Rock The House, all helped them reschedule without a hitch.

Deb Rogers, the temple’s music director who used to have a cake business, had started making cupcakes for Emily’s bat mitzvah. She sold enough cupcakes to recoup her costs, and donated the rest to the organization where Emily did her mitzvah project, Humble Designs Cleveland, Nyer says.

“The overwhelming response was, ‘How can we take care of you?’” Nyer tells me of the vendors. “... I think a lot of people, since COVID-19, understood that this is really just the reality we live in today.”

Another challenge was honoring the learning Emily had done for her original date while also reading the Torah portion associated with the new Shabbat. Nyer explains the solution was Emily did her original Torah and haftarah portions, and her cousin, Ra Mendlowitz, read extra Torah verses added for the new date.

But other than a couple small nancial bits, they didn’t incur any major losses, Nyer says. In fact, friends and family sent DoorDash gift cards while Emily recovered and her parents were busy rescheduling; Emily’s friends sent her care packages.

And when Emily’s big day came on Aug. 13, there was a clear sense of happiness and it was easy to let go of any minor inconveniences. Nyer describes Emily’s service as “intentional,” and says it was special to see family members they hadn’t seen in a long time due to the pandemic.

Emily’s favorite part of the day? The party.

People were understanding that amid COVID-19, these kinds of things happen and they adapted naturally, for which Emily and her parents were grateful. And Langel o ers a tip for other families embarking upon the process.

“I would check to see if there is some kind of contingency to change a date with something like that,” Langel says of asking vendors at the outset, as well as to let guests know as soon as possible if postponing may be necessary.

I’m very glad Emily’s big day turned out so well, and I’m especially encouraged our community and local vendors were so exible and understanding. It makes me proud Bar•Bat Mitzvah highlights so many of them in these pages, as well as local families celebrating such important moments.

For those planning a b’nai mitzvah, I certainly hope it goes as smoothly as possible. And even if it doesn’t, I’m optimistic – especially after hearing this story – you are in good hands with our community here in Northeast Ohio.

Mitzvah

Amanda Koehn Editor

Publisher’s note: Stephen Langel is Bureau Chief of the Columbus Jewish News, a sister publication of Bar•Bat Mitzvah.

Emily Langel celebrates her bat mitzvah with her father Stephen Langel and mother Rabbi Shana Nyer. Photo / Scott T. Morrison / Discovery Photo

DANIEL BLAIN

By Jane Kaufman

DanielBlain headed into his bar mitzvah well prepared, having attended the Hebrew Academy of Indianapolis from the time he was 6.

Born in Cleveland to Sylvia and Michael Blain, the family relocated to Indiana when he was 6, after his father got transferred in the publishing business. Two years later, Michael Blain, who died at 94 in May 2022, led the Indianapolis regional o ce of Israel Bonds.

Blain, 57, now CEO of the Jewish Community Board of Akron, attended the Hebrew Academy of Indianapolis through sixth grade and then attended a public school in Indianapolis.

His Torah portion was Va’eira in Exodus, and the bar mitzvah took place in January 1978, to coincide with his birthday.

“Having gone to a day school, I already knew a lot of the material in the service,” Blain says. His mother was the administrator at that school. “It was more of a focus on learning parts of the Torah portion and the Haftarah.”

He was tutored by Rabbi Ronald Gray, who was the rabbi of Congregation B’nai Torah, a Modern Orthodox congregation in Indianapolis. Gray had successfully advocated for the founding of Blain’s Jewish day school, which had started as a wing of the synagogue and was on the same campus.

“I remember coming up with a d’var Torah on my own, my bar mitzvah speech, and using a lot of the material in the Torah portion to kind of connect this to the experience and my forthcoming responsibilities as a Jewish man,”

Blain remembers. “So I took it to the rabbi. He kind of tore it apart, and I cried.”

Blain says he had to regroup and worked together with Gray to reframe the d’var Torah.

“I came up with something that both was true to myself, but also more respectful of his suggestions,” he remembers. “It was a good lesson that I still carry with me.”

Blain says he learned to accept feedback, and that at the age of 13, he had a lot to learn and grow.

In the days leading up to his bar mitzvah, he anticipated the event.

“It was a big deal, and I enjoyed the attention,” he says.

Once family began to arrive, he enjoyed seeing his older brothers, uncles and cousins.

“It was really fun,” he says. “My older brother brought home for the rst time his future wife.”

His oldest brother, now known as Rabbi Zvi Leshem, was then known as Mark Blobstein. His

girlfriend was Julie Kropf, and the two traveled from New York City. His middle brother, David Blain, also came home for the occasion from Chicago.

It was extremely cold that weekend and there was snow and ice on the roads leading to some treacherous travel.

“At the very end of the service, I screwed up Adon Olam,” he recalls, referring to the nal prayer, which has multiple verses and is usually sung. “I like sang the wrong verse. It was only my own embarrassment, but I corrected it and went on. And while I thought it was a big deal, no one else who was there seemed to notice.”

As to the festivities afterward, there was no blowout.

“I didn’t have a traditional bar mitzvah kid’s party, in part

because coming from a small Jewish day school, I had a very small circle of friends,” Blain says. “But we had a very nice luncheon immediately afterwards for family and guests.”

Decades later, in 2002, Blain, who was working for the Jewish Federation of Cleveland, found himself in Cuba on a Federation mission. He learned at the time that both he and Bill Heller, then-Federation campaign chair, shared the same bar mitzvah Torah portion as they both listened to it chanted in a Havana synagogue with the rest of the group.

“That was very meaningful,” he recalls. “Not just to have that shared experience with each other, but with a whole other community.” BM

Daniel Blain at the bimah of Congregation B’nai Torah in Indianapolis in 1978. Photos courtesy of Daniel Blain.

Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah

LOOKING BACK

RABBI ELLE MUHLBAUM

By Jane Kaufman

As the oldest of three siblings, Rabbi Elle Muhlbaum says her family had no assumption that she would become a bat mitzvah.

Her mother had converted to Judaism as an adult and had a bat mitzvah later, at the age of 53. Muhlbaum’s father’s parents were from Israel, where it was rare for girls to engage in the ceremony.

“Even though we joined a Reform congregation and we felt really at home there, and even though the progressive values mirror that of my own family, the assumption of my parents was not that I was going to become bat mitzvah because that just hadn’t been the structure of the family in previous generations,” recalls Muhlbaum, now 33 and associate rabbi of Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple in Beachwood.

It was only after she began to be invited to friends’ bat mitzvah ceremonies that she asked her parents, Jan and Steve Muhlbaum, when hers would take place.

“There were a few pieces that then kind of unfolded,” Muhlbaum says. “I was encouraged to study other world religions (to) make sure I really wanted to become a Jewish adult, and I met with a rabbi, and we decided I was going to become a bat mitzvah. So then I started my process.”

Born in San Diego, Muhlbaum spent her early years in Louisville, Ky., where she went to Temple Shalom.

When she was in fth grade, Muhlbaum’s family relocated to Mason, Ohio, where she attended public schools and Rockdale Temple in Cincinnati. It was at Rockdale Temple that the invitations to bat mitzvahs started to ow.

Scheduling the date turned out to be a little complicated. She shared her mid-July birthday with another girl in her class. Since the temple didn’t hold b’nai mitzvah ceremonies during that month, Muhlbaum’s classmate had a June date and Muhlbaum took Aug. 17, 2002.

“Even though I’d been in religious school for years, the bat mitzvah process itself was slightly truncated and I just prepped kind of more intensively for my ceremony,” Muhlbaum says, adding her preparation time was less than six months. In that time, she studied from a xeroxed copy of the Tikkun, with trope and vowels on one side of the page

and Hebrew letters only on the other side.

“Even though I’m a millennial, I used a cassette tape, which I feel like some of my peers already had CDs,” she adds.

Muhlbaum was one of the last students to become bat mitzvah under Rabbi Mark Goldman prior to his retirement. Now rabbi emeritus, he lives in Sarasota, Fla.

She remembers being impressed when Goldman revealed he had been an English major.

“I remember how much I enjoyed studying with him and how it was actually almost like a study of the rabbinate because I was so curious about his life outside of what I saw on Shabbat services,” Muhlbaum says. “That process actually was the beginning, I think, of my journey to the rabbinate, the process of sitting and learning with the rabbi and about the rabbi.”

Muhlbaum says she was fascinated by Goldman’s collection of books, particularly since she had just studied other religions.

“I remember sitting in his o ce and looking at all the books and realizing I could never learn everything there was to know about Judaism, but I really wanted to spend my life trying,” Muhlbaum says. “I was really inspired, kind of surrounded by this Jewish library, to gure out how I could learn as much as I could about Jewish life, Jewish tradition, Jewish wisdom.”

She also worked closely with Goldman’s wife, Meryl Goldman, the temple’s education director, who died in 2021.

“She was the one who tutored me,” Muhlbaum recalls. “She helped me color-code my copy of the Torah portion. She made my recording for me, and she’s the one that I would meet with.”

Muhlbaum chanted seven aliyot from Ki Titze in Deuteronomy, three verses each, on the ninth of Elul. She also chanted Haftarah and delivered a speech.

“I was really captivated by the verse in my Torah portion that seems to ban what used to be called cross-dressing,” she says. “So I spoke about that in my d’var Torah, and about how it didn’t seem to line up with my understanding of Judaism that we would be hateful in that way to people based on what they would wear.”

When she placed her yad onto the Torah scroll, Muhlbaum remembers her knees wobbling.

“It wasn’t that I was nervous to chant,” Muhlbaum says. “I knew my Torah portion. I think I was so overwhelmed with the feeling of like, this is a really important thing I’m about to do – like the weightiness of the moment, really.”

Muhlbaum was also moved that her maternal grandmother, Pat Bates, was included in the passing of the Torah scroll down to her.

“My Jewish grandparents had already died by this point,” Muhlbaum says. “So the fact that she could stand there next to my dad’s aunt and my dad’s uncle, and to be able to be part of this Torah pass was so powerful even though she wasn’t Jewish because she really did have such a hand in my formation as a Jewish person.”

Having family come in for the occasion from New York, Indiana, Virginia and California, she says, “felt really special.”

There was no large party, just “a lovely kiddush luncheon in the temple social hall” with dancing, she remembers. “It was so true to the soul of my family.” BM

Elle Muhlbaum with her parents, Steve and Jan Muhlbaum. Photo / Cora Steinberg

INTERCONTINENTAL CLEVELAND KNOWS HOW TO CELEBRATE

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Live the InterContinental life.

Left photo © New Image Photography Right photo © Dennis Crider Photography

RABBI DANIEL UTLEY

By Jane Kaufman

ForRabbi Daniel Utley, becoming bar mitzvah meant being part of an unfolding tradition as well as being a groundbreaker at The Temple-Tifereth Israel.

His was the rst Friday evening bar mitzvah at The Temple, which he celebrated in November 1995. An only child whose mother, Suzanne Utley, worked at The Temple, he spent many afternoons helping out there, a place he considered a second home. One summer, Utley packed its entire library into storage, and after an addition was completed he set up workstations for computers so the teachers and librarians were prepared for religious school.

Utley – now 39 and the director of the Mandel Jewish Community Center’s Camp Wise in Claridon Township – attended Rabbi Roger Klein’s Saturday morning Torah study with his father, William Utley, as well.

“We started studying Hebrew in third grade, and we had midweek Hebrew classes. (I) may or may not have been thrown out of Hebrew class a few times,” Utley remembers. His formal tutoring started in the sixth grade.

Growing up attending public schools in South Euclid and Beachwood, Utley was inspired to attend Goldman Union Camp Institute in Zionsville, Ind., by both Rabbi Rosette Barron Haim and the late Rabbi Benjamin Kamin, then-senior rabbi at The Temple. He was hooked on camp after the rst summer.

“A lot of the tutoring I did (was) while I was at camp over the summer,” he recalls. “At GUCI, all the clergy from di erent regional synagogues would come and stay there over the summer, and so you got to tutor with them.”

He worked with Kamin and with Rabbi Lewis Kamrass of Cincinnati over the summers.

“I remember distinctly bringing my Sony Walkman with the cassette tape and the headphones, and having to press play and rewind and play and rewind and play and rewind to listen to the verses of Torah over and over again,” he says.

Back home, Utley was frequently the only person his age attending services on Friday nights with his parents.

“I enjoyed meeting people of all generations at the synagogue and learning the stories of people who were the leaders of the synagogue at the time or who had been past presidents,” he says, adding that he has a speci c memory of sitting across the aisle

Suzanne and William Utley with their son Daniel Utley at his bar mitzvah, as well as Suzanne’s parents, Ed and Betty Klein. Photo courtesy of Daniel Utley.

from businessman and philanthropist Morton Mandel during the High Holy Days.

Utley remembers reading and translating Torah verse by verse, not chanting trope.

“They were very classical Reform,” he says of The Temple. “At the time, they were starting a model of reading the Torah on Friday nights.”

For his bar mitzvah, Utley was expected to lead the service from start to nish – alone on the bimah. He was a fourth-generation member of The Temple on his mother’s side, and having generations gather for his ceremony held deep meaning to him at the time and since, he says.

“I distinctly remember standing on the bimah and having to have all the cues outlined in the book because the choir would stand up and sing, and the organist would play,” he says. “I had to know when to stop reading because it was time for the choir to stand up and sing.”

Utley says prior to his bar mitzvah he had attended b’nai mitzvah of cousins at a Conservative synagogue and that he felt “a little bit lucky” that the service at The Temple would be just an hour.

Just a couple years before his bar mitzvah, Utley’s father had converted to Judaism after studying with Haim, adding a deepened signi cance to his experience.

“I remember there was a big snowstorm the weekend of my bar mitzvah,” Utley says of what he described as a freak November lakee ect snowstorm. “We were concerned about people being able to come in town.”

His Torah portion was Toldot about Jacob and Esau.

“That was interesting that I had a Torah portion that was about siblings when I didn’t

have any siblings. ... It was like trying to gure out how to relate to this story that was very removed from my own experience,” he says.

He says he enjoyed public speaking for the rst time, although he recalls being nervous and was embarrassed that he didn’t cue the congregation properly around the recitation of the Sh’ma.

“I remember asking everyone to sit down, and I had forgotten that the choir was also going to sing the Sh’ma,” he says. “I was like, ‘Oops, stand up everybody.’ It was kind of funny. I was petri ed I had done the wrong thing.”

At the same time, Utley remembers that he found leading the service to be a comfortable experience.

“My nose was running incessantly, so I was constantly reaching for Kleenex and cups of water,” he says. “I remember Rabbi Kamin making a joke about, you know, I already know where everything is on the bimah, I should think about that someday when I plan on being a rabbi. … And I was like, ‘Yeah, no, not going to be a rabbi.’”

His camp experiences also stayed with him through the big day – and clearly far into the future.

“Camp was so di erent. It was so inclusive, and it just spoke to who I was and the music that I was listening to, and was a singing experience that we all shared together,” he says. “I couldn’t nd that in my synagogue at the time. And that was something I was sad about.” BM

Publisher’s note: Rabbi Rosette Barron Haim is a member of the Cleveland Jewish Publication Company Board of Directors.

Host your Bar or Bat Mitzvah at

PhotographiC

Memory

Professionals share approach for capturing the big day in pictures

By Becky Raspe

Once the dance oor has cleared, the lights have been dimmed and family members have gone home, memories of a b’nai mitzvah are remembered through the photos taken to celebrate the occasion.

For generations to come, family members will fondly look back on the event through that photographic evidence. But how do you ensure the memories are captured in the way you want? For photographers Beth Glorioso of Elizabeth Glorioso Photography and Mariana Edelman of Mariana Edelman Photography, that journey starts with hiring a professional who knows their way around a simcha.

“I make sure that there is a timeline or itinerary from a photographic point of view to capture all of the important moments,” says Glorioso, who has been a photographer for 21 years and shooting events for 15. She’s based out of Parma, but shoots events all over Northeast Ohio. “I frequently consult with all of the clients to make sure to go over the details important to them, understanding the important players – like a grandparent or a favorite aunt – and making sure they’re included in the immediate family photos.”

Edelman, who has been in the business for over 12 years, says she prefers to approach her assignments like they are her own child’s. Based out of Macedonia, Edelman does most of her work in Cleveland’s eastern suburbs and her children attend the Joseph and Florence Mandel Jewish Day School in Beachwood.

“I will be one of those moms in those shoes ve years from now, so I’m very passionate about what I do,” she says. “It’s not just a headshot and it’s over and done. I care about every single detail. I am a photographer and a Jewish mom taking pictures all at once. I am not shooting to get an award – I do it to capture the happiness, emotion and expression of the day.”

While it is important for the family’s needs and wishes to be understood for the photos, Glorioso says great event photography is a marriage between the client’s goals and the photographer’s personal air. It is why a family hires a photographer, she adds. She most enjoys capturing the excitement, both before the service and ahead of the party.

“It’s about capturing the moment but also harnessing timelessness. I want them to remember a story.”

Mariana Edelman

Justin Bilsky’s bar mitzvah party at Pinstripes in Orange on Nov. 6, 2021.

Photo / Elizabeth Glorioso Photography.

“I am all about listening to clients to (understand) their vision for the day and what they’re looking for,” Glorioso says. “My personal style is a classic and timeless approach. I am more interested in preserving memories and moments, as well as taking beautiful portraits.”

Edelman says, “You need to make sure you get the obvious photos – like posed portraits – the way the family expects. But, I also ensure I get those candids and capture the unexpected. It’s about capturing the moment but also harnessing timelessness. I want them to remem ber a story,” adding she especially loves family-heavy moments.

When hiring a photographer for your child’s big day, Edelman and Glorioso share some of the common missteps families make when starting the process, especially if it’s their rst time.

“Some families call me years in advance, and others call six months ahead of the date and they want you to be available and don’t like that you aren’t,” Edelman says. “If you want someone or have a speci c date, go book them. Don’t speculate that we’re going to be available. I can do my best to accommodate you, but I can’t violate a contract I have with someone else.”

As you interview photographers, Glorioso suggests paying close attention to their portfolios.

“You want to make sure their style syncs up to your vision,” she says. “What you see online should be the same as the approach and gallery delivered. Also, hire the correct professional to match up with the di erent situations that come with a b’nai mitzvah. You want them to know the traditions, the party style and lighting.”

Most of these problems can work themselves out by interviewing photographers before hiring them, the professionals say.

“You should have a couple questions in mind before even sitting down with a photographer,” Glorioso says. “Ask about their experience. Truly, b’nai mitzvah are a blend of documenting and a photojournalistic approach to get those moments that matter to the client, as well as delivering beautiful portraits. It is so steeped in tradition, both family and religious. You’re having them document family history.”

Edelman says, “Make sure you speak to them or meet them in person before booking. You want your personalities to match. Also, make sure you understand their delivery time frame and the types of images you’ll receive. The more planning and information you have, the better o you are understanding their policies and work. You’re making an investment – both nancially and emotionally.” BM

Jordan Uria’s bar mitzvah at Chabad Jewish Center of Solon on May 21, 2022. Photo / Mariana Edelman Photography

Eliana Fieldman’s bat mitzvah at Congregation Shaarey Tikvah in Beachwood on May 28, 2022. Photo / Mariana Edelman Photography

Saige Eitman

CADEN SILVERSTEIN

Bar mitzvah: May 29, 2021

Synagogue: Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple in Beachwood Celebration: After the service, an immediate family dinner was held at Fairmount Temple. The next day, a celebration was held outside the family’s home with a food truck.

O ciant: Rabbi Joshua Caruso

Age: 14

Hometown: Twinsburg School: R. B. Chamberlin Middle School in Twinsburg

What was the best part of the day?

Caden: Leading the service and reading from Torah. Lindsay Walker, mother: The con dence and calm demeanor Caden showed during the entire bar mitzvah ceremony.

Did the COVID-19 pandemic a ect the celebration?

Lindsay: Yes, there was no dancing, no DJ. Out of town family didn’t feel comfortable ying in. Only a select group of family members were able to be in the sanctuary during the service. The celebration ended up being an open house at our home, outside with a food truck.

What advice do you have for other young adults preparing for their b’nai mitzvahs?

Caden: It may seem hard in the beginning, keep practicing and stay focused, and it will be worth it in the end.

From time to time, Bar•Bat Mitzvah magazine features spotlights on local b’nai mitzvahs. Submit yours at cjn.org/barbatmitzvah.

FUN WITH FOOD

By Ed Carroll

Ab’naimitzvah is a special moment in a young person’s life, as they mark their entrance into adulthood. It’s understandable to want to make sure every aspect of the party to celebrate is perfect, from the venue to the entertainment to the music. But one way to make a party truly memorable, at least for the guests, is through unforgettable food.

Guests may not remember – or want to admit – what song got them on the dance oor, or just how beautiful all the arrangements were at the venue, but they’ll remember that fantastic chicken they had and rave about it later. Bar•Bat Mitzvah spoke with catering experts to learn about the latest trends and popular dishes they’re seeing at b’nai mitzvahs in the Cleveland area.

Heather Sesnowitz, catering and events manager at 56 Kitchen & Catering, which serves Northeast Ohio with its catering branch and has restaurants in May eld Heights and Solon, says their menus will always vary based on what the clients want.

“Sometimes we have speci c kids’ stations and sometimes we have speci c adult stations, but a lot of times the kids actually

like to eat from the adult stations,” she says. “Believe it or not, our Brussels sprouts are popular with kids. Sometimes we have kidspeci c bu ets and they sneak over to the adult section for Brussels sprouts.”

She says when it comes to desserts, while they do o er them at 56 Kitchen, kosher bakery items are often ordered in, particularly if the party is at a synagogue. She says many clients also will bring in their own desserts –she sees a lot of chocolate-covered fruits and pretzels and homemade chocolate tru es.

Those organizing a b’nai mitzvah in the Cleveland area have a lot of options for places to host a party, but if they’re looking for a venue that has options for entertainment and excellent catering, one good potential choice is Pinstripes

Cleveland in Orange Village. Pinstripes is known for two main activities, bowling and bocce, but also o ers other activities and a full catering menu with a from-scratch Italian kitchen. Jamie Housley, director of sales, and Leah Skerl, event sales manager, say almost all of Pinstripes’ b’nai mitzvah parties feature separate menus for children and adults. That also lets them separate the kids and the adults, giving the adults some time to chat with one another – and a chance to enjoy a few beverages without worrying about the children.

The kids will often enjoy beverages and appetizers while bowling.

“Maybe they pick more of easily handleable, bite-sized options for those, so they can bowl and have a bite to eat in between di erent rounds,” Skerl says.

“And the parents are usually upstairs,” Housley adds. “I think a lot of our parents like that because they get a little bit of a breather. They have their own space, and the DJ and the team will get the kids back upstairs and join the adults for dinner and the rest of the event.”

One thing the caterers are noticing for b’nai mitzvahs is a move away from formality

B’nai mitzvah parties move toward a more casual – yet still delicious – eating experience

to a more relaxed atmosphere.

“Things are not quite as traditional anymore,” Housley says. “Ceremonial things are going more toward the wayside.”

Skerl agrees, noting more casual catering styles.

“Prior to the past few (b’nai mitzvahs), pretty much all of them have done family style or bu et as far as food, and now a few of mine are doing more of a cocktail reception for the adults, or even (a reception) for the kids,” she says. “Doing something less seated and formal, and more just interactive and moving around. And (with) less formal festivities, even with the food.”

One thing Sesnowitz says she’s not seeing as much of anymore? B’nai mitzvahs that use fancy atware or glasses, as more and more families are open to using singleuse plates and utensils.

“Before people were insistent that we had to have our own plates, real glasses and silverware,” she says. “But especially with the way we do our stations, there is a lot of more fun things you can do and I wouldn’t be concerned about using real china or glasses. That adds a huge extra expense because we have to rent all that, unless the temple has it. If we’re doing something o site, we have to rent all

that, and I think it’s something people are getting nowadays that is not worth the extra expense.” BM

TO CALL:

216-464-3090

Cleveland:

216-415-8380

sales-cl@pinstripes.com

pinstripes.com/cleveland

Brussels sprouts from 56 Kitchen. Photo / 56 Kitchen

Matzo ball soup from 56 Kitchen. Photo / 56 Kitchen

Above: Caprese salad from 56 Kitchen. Photo / 56 Kitchen

Previous Page: Bruschetta and salads served family style at Pinstripes. Photo / Pinstripes

WHAT TO WEAR? How to choose a b’nai mitzvah out t that inspires con dence

By Amanda Koehn

Longafter the date is set and learning is in full swing, details surrounding a b’nai mitzvah begin to take center stage. Although it may be overlooked, choosing a great out t can be key in ensuring celebrants and those close to them feel con dent and happy on the big day.

While picking an out t can be fun and even a reward for some, for others, deciding how to dress for such an occasion may be met with dread or cause stress. Fortunately, local boutiques o er suggestions and personalized assistance for both the fashion ambitious and those who want to choose something fast and get it over with, which you may not nd at larger or online-only retailers.

Bar•Bat Mitzvah asked three local shop owners for their tips on style, trends, t and inspiring con dence when it comes to the coming-of-age ceremonies and parties this season and beyond.

GENERAL APPROACH

A rst step in choosing an out t is giving the b’nai mitzvah child a say in what they want to wear, says Vern Ticknor, co-owner at Ticknors Men’s Clothier in Beachwood.

“It’s a symbolic passage into adulthood, so I think the rst thing that needs to be done is to start treating them like an adult,” he says

of when kids and their families enter the store. “Not all the questions are geared toward the parents.”

Some may also wonder about the right way to balance a traditional b’nai mitzvah look with current trends. A good rule of thumb is to choose something on the classic side, while also nding a way to show o your personality, says Isabel Pritchett, owner of Sanity in Chagrin Falls.

“You don’t want to look back in like 10, 15, 20 years and say, ‘That dress was so not me,’” she says. “I feel like if you love what you are wearing, you are just going to have the best time.”

Choosing something you enjoy wearing and that’s relatively comfortable should be front and center, says Sherri Knuth Bryan, owner of Knuth’s in Pepper Pike.

“If they like it and they feel like it is physically comfortable, that will show,” she says. “If it doesn’t feel comfortable on their body, that’s going to show.”

High-waisted, ared dress pants are popular now, and can be part of a great out t for a b’nai mitzvah guest. Photo / Knuth’s

Dresses that mix classic styles with a hint of modern trends create an elegant yet fun bat mitzvah look. Photo / Sanity

DRESS DETAILS

For a dress or skirt-centric out t, Pritchett recommends selecting a classic silhouette and incorporating a bit of a trend, if it suits the celebrant and is appropriate for the event. She o ers one caveat though regarding trends: “If you are super into fashion and you love what you are going to wear, then go for it.”

She says form- tting dresses, sparkles, tulle and princess-type options are all popular, and gem hues like cobalt blue and emerald green are good for this season. Hot pink is also having a moment.

Girls may also choose a miniskirt and blouse or jacket for a more casual and ontrend party look, Knuth Bryan says. In that case, she says tall boots pair well and are in style now. Don’t choose shoes that are di cult to walk in or out ts that are too tight or complex and constantly needing adjustment, she advises.

The boutique owners recommend trying on several out ts before selecting one.

“That’s the best part of having stores still around is that you can physically shop and try it on,” Pritchett says. “Also, if you see something and don’t love it on the hanger, don’t be afraid to still try it because everything looks so much di erent on than it does on a hanger.”

She adds that a look you try on and immediately feel good in is likely a winner.

Still not sure if it’s right? Knuth Bryan says to bring it to someone you trust for a second opinion. Her shop sta is happy to o er advice

even on out ts purchased elsewhere and give recommendations, she says.

“I think at Knuth’s we would give you good advice – whether it’s our product or not,” she says.

SUIT SELECTIONS

In selecting a suit, key decisions concern color and t. The three classic colors are black, gray and navy, says Ticknor, and those are relatively timeless. Fit, however, is more of a fashion choice and in recent years slim t has been popular.

“Then what becomes really personalized is the shirt and tie,” he says. “That’s where they really show whether they want to have a little color in it, whether extremely conservative –that kind of thing.”

He says while parents sometimes want to choose something a bit larger in the hopes the child grows into it, instead of out of it immediately, trends shift toward a more tailored look. It’s important to remember that kids at b’nai mitzvah age grow fast, and there often aren’t a ton of other opportunities to wear a formal suit in a time frame where it could conceivably t. So ultimately, don’t sacri ce t for the hopes of longevity.

“I think it’s important to make it the best looking that you can,” he says, noting Ticknors has an on-site tailor shop and carries options at a variety of price points. “It’s just trying to make something long term that’s probably not going to happen.”

Overall, Ticknor says a way to avoid stress is to not wait until the last minute. While months in advance might be too soon since the celebrant is growing, shopping a couple weeks before the occasion will give them enough time to do any necessary alterations.

“Make it scheduled, so if something needs to be redone a little bit or this or that, we have the time to make it so it is right – and we don’t have to live with a ‘Well, that will work,’ type of thing,” he says. “With that comes a little time to not do a rushed job and have that couple days in between … so that when you pick it up, (you) make sure it’s really right. Give us the opportunity to make things just perfect for you.”

TIPS FOR GUESTS

While Knuth’s has some dresses ready for celebrants, they currently have a larger range of options appropriate for guests, Knuth Bryan says, citing out t ideas centering on miniskirts, dress pants and anything vegan leather.

For adult b’nai mitzvah guests, Knuth Bryan recommends jumpsuits – “because it’s one and done” – paired with pretty shoes. If it’s an evening occasion, bring along a jacket or wrap to top it o . Dress pants with a high-waisted, wide-leg silhouette are also in style, paired with

either a short, boxy jacket that comes to the waist or a long jacket. Avoid mid-length jackets with wide-leg pants, she says. For younger attendees, miniskirts or shorter dresses work well.

Jewelry can add a festive air for guests of all ages, and tall boots are worth the investment due to their versatility, paired with either a short skirt or under wide-leg pants, she notes.

Whether you are the celebrant or a guest, if there’s any question as to whether something is appropriate, listen to your gut, Knuth Bryan says.

“I would say for a religious occasion, if you are wondering whether it’s appropriate, then I would say I’d pass,” she says.

BRINGING IT ALL TOGETHER

As kids face social pressure from peers, social media and beyond, it’s important to choose an out t that brings out con dence, the sources say. That means it ts well and they can move comfortably in it, and perhaps it brings out a bit of their personal style.

Ticknor says he can tell when a child is feeling con dent and happy with an out t based on their facial expressions, body language and interest – they may start enthusiastically answering questions asked, versus responding with a bored or uncaring attitude.

Notice if the child often has to adjust the clothing to move around well, that may mean it’s not a perfect t, Knuth Bryan says.

She says while girls especially may feel pressure to t in a certain size or style, choosing something they feel great in – even if it’s not the biggest trend or what their friends are wearing – is a good strategy.

“My message would be that everybody that age is beautiful,” Knuth Bryan says. “... There is so much pressure for young girls today to look a certain way, to be a certain way to be socially accepted. It’s so di cult, I think. I think social media pressure is terrible, so I think whatever makes them feel attractive and comfortable in what they are wearing – if they feel like they can move and smile and be comfortable – that will make them feel con dent.” BM

WHERE TO SHOP:

216-831-1116

Place,

216-839-6300

E.

440-893-9279

St.,

A tie’s color and details can add personality to bar mitzvah suits. Photo / Ticknors Men’s Clothier

LILIANA MOSKOVITZ

Bat mitzvah: July 2, 2022

Synagogue: Beth El Congregation in Akron Celebration: Bricco West at the Holiday Inn Express in Fairlawn

O ciant: Rabbi Jeremy Lipton

Age: 12

Hometown: Stow School: Kimpton Middle School in Munroe Falls

Stephanie Penick Photography LLC

What was the best part of the day?

Liliana: The best part of my bat mitzvah was getting to celebrate with all the people I love. It was just such a fun way to be with everyone at the same time.

Becca and Aaron Moskovitz, parents: Lily was beyond poised and prepared for every part of her day. She helped lead a beautiful service for a full congregation, shared a thoughtful d’var Torah, and was a most gracious guest of honor throughout her evening celebration. The whole weekend was better than we could’ve imagined.

Did the COVID-19 pandemic a ect the celebration?

Becca and Aaron: We were so fortunate that we were able to come together. We were careful leading up to the event to try and remain healthy, we asked all guests to follow guidelines, and we said a few prayers for everyone’s health and safety.

What advice do you have for other young adults preparing for their b’nai mitzvahs?

Liliana: It might seem scary at rst, but when you’re actually up there doing it, all your hard work will come into place and you’ll feel great!

From time to time, Bar•Bat Mitzvah magazine features spotlights on local b’nai mitzvahs. Submit yours at cjn.org/barbatmitzvah.

(STILL) NAVIGATING COVID-19

Venues, vendors discuss protecting guests from pandemic-related risks

By Meghan Walsh

In the last couple years, it has become critical for b’nai mitzvah venues to ensure that all COVID-19 safety protocols are followed so hosts and guests alike can enjoy themselves and protect their health at the same time.

Whitney Neidus, general manager of The Venue at StoneWater Golf Club in Highland Heights, and Joan Rosenthal, founder and CEO of Marigold Catering in Cleveland, discuss the safety procedures their companies put in place to assure safe experiences are had by all.

“First and foremost, we followed all guidelines in terms of capacity, number of people, space,” Neidus says of the adjustments made during the COVID-19 pandemic. “We followed everything that we had to legally.”

To make guests feel as comfortable as possible, The Venue at StoneWater set up sanitizing stations. All meals were plated, Neidus says, so guests were not touching the same foods and utensils. Each event had assigned seats, the tables having anywhere from four to eight family members together.

“We did everything possible to make people feel comfortable,” she says.

Neidus says her sta communicated these precautions to vendors by sharing their expectations for the evening.

“Everybody that was comfortable being in the situation, everybody was graceful,” she notes. “We didn’t have any issues of people not adapting or following our guidelines and stu like that.”

In the early days of the pandemic amid shutdowns, thanks to the golf club’s restaurant, they were able to keep operating at some level through curbside takeout, she

says. Though this did not fully meet their normal operations, it did carry them through the parts of the pandemic in which so many businesses were forced to shut down, either temporarily or permanently.

Things have since returned to looking similar to how they did pre-pandemic, she says.

“We obviously do still have hand sanitizer, things like that, around,” Neidus says. “The cleaning crew obviously still comes in every night, which they always did. I would like to think that it’s back to normal.”

Marigold Catering took many safety precautions to minimize health risks for their guests and workers, Rosenthal says.

“Precautions that we took once we started doing events again was we put up plastic shields around all of our bu ets,” she explains. “We had servers behind the bu ets, it wasn’t self-serve. The guests would go through the bu ets and servers would actually plate the food up for them.”

Sta was required to wear masks and be vaccinated against COVID-19, she says. Guests were not allowed in unless they wore masks and the only times they were allowed to remove them was to eat or drink.

“The whole sta was masked up, everybody wore gloves, the event planners would have the guests put on masks when they came in,” Rosenthal recalls.

Party planners saw to it that these rules were adhered to so they could make sure events went smoothly and health risks were minimized, she says.

Communicating these guidelines to workers, guests and vendors was fairly easy because Marigold was operating primarily at its own event space, Tenk West Bank in Cleveland’s West Bank of the Flats.

“Tenk, which is our agship venue, is ours,” she says. “So, we didn’t have to communicate. Everybody just knew the rules and the event planners, they communicated with the vendors.”

Rosenthal says Marigold catered events with Glidden House in Cleveland’s University Circle quite a bit before COVID-19, but it was closed during the height of the pandemic.

The only way Marigold would work with vendors is if they were masked and gloved, she points out.

When Marigold was not able to host events at the beginning

of the pandemic, it survived through Paycheck Protection Program loans, Rosenthal recalls.

“We were very fortunate,” she notes. “We got three PPP loans, so that carried us through the time when we were closed, and had we not gotten those PPP loans, we would have been closed. We would not have been able to maintain the business.”

She says in the event something similar to the COVID-19 pandemic were to happen again, the most important suggestion she would have for younger businesses is to adhere and adapt to recommended safety protocols.

“The only advice I could give is that everybody needs to maintain safety measures,” Rosenthal says. BM

Event setup at Tenk West Bank in Cleveland’s West Bank of the Flats. Photo / Marigold Catering

The Venue at StoneWater Golf Club in Highland Heights. Photo / The Venue at StoneWater

LET’S PARTY

Celebrate your accomplishments by planning an activity and entertainment- lled bash

By Abigail Preiszig

Ab’naimitzvah celebration is an unforgettable night for many. To create the most memorable party, having personalized, interactive entertainment certainly helps.

Two local entertainment options, Games Done Legit and Rock The House Entertainment Group share advice for those planning such bashes.

Games Done Legit, based in Cleveland, has created interactive entertainment for children and adults through social video games, virtual reality and more since 2013. Rock the House, based in Oakwood, has specialized in interactive entertainment since 1999 as an entertainment and audio-visual company providing DJ entertainment and event enhancements such as arcades, giant games, photo booths, lighting and more.

“Most bar/bat mitzvahs are going to look really nice, but as human beings we more positively recall what we do than what we saw,” says Chris Hatala, event director and nal boss at Games Done Legit. “That’s your X factor, and when people look back on that year’s bar/bat mitzvahs, engagement will trump image and novelty/gimmicks.”

The entertainment should represent the guest of honor and take into account the budget, vision and timing of the event, the sources say. When planning a b’nai mitzvah celebration, open conversations about expectations for the night and planning ahead are the best tools to ensure a smooth run and fun time.

“The best activities are what are best for our clients,” says Je Kutz, partner and vice president of social sales at Rock the House. “Because every party is di erent, we can o er ideas and concepts

Games Done Legit / Mariana Edelman Photography

Rock The House / Mariana Edelman Photography

to our clients that t their vision, budget and theme. Many of our o erings can include custom artwork to match the theme and/or color palette of the celebration.”

Getting tips from those who have already planned b’nai mitzvahs is a great planning resource, as they can discuss what did or did not work for them, the professionals say. In addition, setting realistic expectations for the event within the family is helpful. Discuss the logistics of the night between the adults, and then incorporate what the child wants for their special day, Kutz says.

“The beginning part of the planning tends to be more parentfocused, where the end of the planning really involves the guest of honor,” Kutz said. “We love learning what music and games the guest of honor wants to focus on or stay away from.”

Incorporating what the b’nai mitzvah child enjoys into the entertainment is a great way to keep the celebration authentic, joyful and memorable, Hatala explains. If they like to dance and socialize, a DJ may be a great t, or if they like video games, virtual reality may make them happiest.

“It seems obvious, but I believe open conversation among the family and empowering your child’s passions are the best bedrocks to crafting the activities,” Hatala says. “In my decade-plus experience in this industry, I feel there’s an inevitable need for entertainers to become ‘jacks of all trades,’ and they might end up encouraging activities your 13-year-old might not really want, or perhaps sell activities that they can’t optimally t into your event because they’re spread so thin. Of course, talk to other parents, but talk to your kids, too. They’re smart and know what they like.”

Open and direct conversations with vendors will also help with planning entertainment. It is important to tell them your vision and keep them informed every step of the way, and expect the same respect from the vendor. They are here to serve their clients, the professionals explain.

“When you hire your vendors, ask them as many questions that you can think of,” Kutz says. “They have the most experience in both planning and executing an event. It is our goal to always put our (client) family’s needs rst and deliver an amazing experience from start to nish. With open communication, the planning will not be as stressful because everyone is on the same page, all the time.”

Lastly, they say to plan ahead. Look for entertainment sooner rather than later to ensure the night goes smoothly.

“With all the obligations you’ll have for that weekend, just getting your date on vendors’ calendars really helps your peace of mind,” Hatala says. “The biggest thing is nding ways to make it as leaststressful as possible. This is, after all, an event you’re meant to enjoy and remember forever.”

Games Done Legit

Rock The House