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What’s gone down, who said what and what you should know…
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Issue #5
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THE VILLAGE VOICE At a recent talk I gave to a bunch of very cool women of my own middle-age, the moderator first made us play a game of “Have you ever?” If you haven’t ever played, the game is simple. The moderator asks a series of questions and if you haven’t ever experienced the action described .. you sit down. One of the first questions asked was “Have you ever danced on a bar?” I was so delighted that every last one of us, stayed standing up. I found it comforting that we (to a woman) were all once wild, dancing girls, who threw our names AND caution to the wind, to leap up and let the music move us, with scant regard to what we looked like or what anyone thought of us. Those kind of crazy nights, are still amongst the happiest of my life. The question got me thinking. where do women of our age, get their crazy joy, in these tough times? I think this mischief, energy, confidence and joie de vivre, is very much still there. In all of us. But do we give ourselves license to experience it, now? Does this harsh and challenging world we live in? Not so much. Maybe it’s buried, under years of hard work, kids, abrasive marriages. Maybe we’ve just suffered too many of life’s sucker punches, slings and arrows to imagine we could easily be that girl again … but it’s super important to all of us, that, no matter how tough life is, to find some joie, in our vivre. I hope that everyone of us, in this holiday season, has a moment at least, to carve out space to gift the wonderful feeling of unself-conscious joy, to ourselves. For me? I find my joy walking up mountains with my best beloveds, laughing till we cry ( and yes, worse, we are not young any more!) with my girl pals. It’s singing out loud and off-key, in the car, when I’m driving alone and ruining the sounds of my whole family singing in the car, when we are together. I find joy in nature, in my dogs and in the fact that I still love my husband of 29 years. None of these cost anyting much, I’ve noticed. And most of us can experience them, if we just take the moment to be IN the moment. Medicine for the soul. Highly recommended. Prescribed, in fact. I hope you all take this as a script, from Dr Niceness Ninja, herself. And of course, and probably most importantly, my daily joy comes from all of you and this Village we have built together. We are no longer just a community, but a mini-movement of kindness, support and warmth. I am grateful to each of you, every day. Be safe, healthy and happy over the New Year and holidays. With so much love and thanks – VR.
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INSTA FIX!
Did you know The Village has an Instagram account. Follow us, and add a little wit, wisdom and mischief to your day. @thevillagesa
#INSTA HERO Remember that time you said if you received an appliance for Christmas you’d explode? Well the new Instant Pot Duocrisp kicks that idea to the kerb and here’s why: • It’s the smartest Smart Cooker there is and can steam, bake, sous vide, saute and slow cook at the press of a button. • It’s ALSO an air fryer – the separate lid converts it into an air fryer that can airfry, roast, bake, broil and dehydrate. Don’t know where to start? The Instant Pot Facebook community is amazing and you’ll get so much advice on super recipes and hacks. Shop this genius product right here
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r e z e Fre s e i r e t s y M
ve, a s e c i N Wendy!
LET’S PLAY SANTA!
Danielle, this is such a wonderful gesture – definitely an idea worth stealing. Danielle Webber November 28 at 6:33 AM
I’m sharing an idea in case any villagers would like to help a friend this festive season. I was thinking today about all the families split up across the world and country who won’t get to see each other this year thanks to covid. I reached out to school friends who have immigrated and made a simple offer: would you like me to take your parents a Christmas gift? 5 people in 2 hours are now a little less sad. They’ll provide the funds, I will shop/receive deliveries, wrap and deliver. They will also send me images of hand written notes and pictures from the grandkids that I will print and include. Simple, right? I’m looking forward to spreading a little love in a tough year. 522
104 Comments
Wendy Bowyer van Blerk Pour the wine into the cream tub and drink your wine milkshake.
VERY NAUGHTY, KARINA! But very funny (and true) too
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FOMO
Thank you, Kayla-Tess Pandem, for posting this awesome list!
If you can, please consider donating to these organisations so they can keep doing there incredible work!
Save these numbers
While the capacity of all you generous Villagers to lend a hand to people in need seems bottomless, we know that sometimes our resources can’t meet the the level of support needed. Please keep these numbers handy so that you can refer people who need help solving a problem. • Gender Based Violence and Sexual Violence Advocacy and Counselling Support Rape Crisis 24/7 Hotline: 021 447 9762 • Food Security/ Feeding Schemes, Homeless Persons Ladles of Love: 021 201 1244 • Homeless Persons, Food Security, Clothing Security, Rehabilitation Support, Substance Use & Abuse Withdrawal, HalfWay Homes, Food & Clothing Vouchers U-Turn: 021 674 6119 • Skills Development, Short Courses, CV Writing, Business Coaching, Financial Advisory, Entrepreneurship Learn2Earn: 021 671 2230 • Counselling Support. Social Services Hope Counselling Center: 084 557 7525 / 021 522 9228 / 021 715 0424 / 021 903 0521
• Probono / Salary Dependent Legal Advice, Lawyers, Mediation, Court Representation Probono.org: 087 806 6070/1/2 • Substance Use and Abuse Rehabilitation, Counselling, Family Counselling, Inpatient and Outpatient Units Cape Town Drug Center: 021 447 8026 / 021 397 0103 / 021 571 7180 • Printed Educational Packs, Free Home Based Learning Material, Matrix Exam Support, School Based Support Outliers: info@outliers.org.za • Child Protection, Foster Placements, Child Advocacy, Child and Family Social Work Services KinCulture: 084 611 5379 Please note these resources are Cape Town based only. These organisations are key advocates in the social justice space - as such, even if they are not able to help you directly, they will be able to link into their networks to direct, advise and get you the specific support you need.
• Practical support like Food, Electricity, Housing, Clothing etc. Networking to fulfill client specific needs like counselling, CV writing, transport and employment opportunities too. Table View Angels: 071 407 5445
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FOMO 15 WAYS TO TRULY HELP A SINGLE MOM FRIEND
‘A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME….’
Sarah’s response to Carrie’s post had us spluttering over our morning coffee!
We asked, you answered!
1 2 3
Babysit every couple of weeks Keep a place a school events like prize giving
Help with kids’ birthday party planning
4 School lifts
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A ready-made family meal
6 Ask, “Are you okay?”
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Include in family celebrations like Christmas and Easter
Time out by taking kids to movies etc
9 Have kids for a sleepover 10 Handyman stuff
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Non-judgmental listening ear Male mentor for sons
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Take their kids shopping for a birthday gift for Mom
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Keep the braai and dinner party invites coming
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Don’t offer, just do!
BOOK TO BUY
This heartwarming gem of a book gives helps children to better understand adoption. Plus when you buy, you’ll be helping a great cause too! Super Stevie, Superman Was Adopted Too, is aimed at children, both adopted and not. Written with a mom’s huge heart and wisdom, Super Stevie, Superman Was Adopted Too explains what it’s like to be adopted, how hard, how sore and also how wonderful. It equips young readers to both better understand what it would be like to be adopted if they are not adopted themselves, or help them to thrive, if they are. The book is selling for R350, with 50% of all book sales go towards supporting registered adoption NGOs across SA. Discover more at https://superstevie. co.za/about-us/ 05
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delicious idea
This is such a great idea as a gift for teens – practical, meaningful, and wonderfully sentimental! “When I was 17 my mom gifted me with a little recipe book which she had compiled for me. Things like the basics... how to make a cheese sauce, pancakes, a basic stew. Plus her favourite recipes like malva pudding. Myself and my kids use this little book still today. It’s tatty and worn but I love it and so do the kids.” – Anonymous Group Member
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FOMO
! t e y r e v o t ' n s i 2020 When an anonymous Villager asked you to share your coping mechanisms for getting through the stress and strain of this crazy year, this is what you suggested:
“I have started blogging and it makes me remember and smile.” – Zulfa White Adams
“Meditation is fantastic... I never found time to try it until we had no business and only fear of tomorrow. It helped me tremendously, and no cost – only your time! – Jenni Rowe “I recommend gardening as therapy. I’m gardening the pavement (I live in a granny flat) and growing things from seeds and cuttings. Extra perks are saving money on food, healthier food, fitness, and nice conversations with people passing.” – Linda Wilson “Woman’s Only Yoga in the Park, Rondebosch East. Saturday morning and Wednesday evening. R20 per session.” – Diane McGown “Go up the mountain, or even Kirstenbosch Gardens and walk bare feet in the grass, put your bare feet in a cool stream, and wash your face. Sit and really look around, at the individual shapes of leaves, in the darkened shadows on clusters of trees. There is magic everywhere.” – Colette Kemp “The Counselling Hub in Woodstock (Cape Town) offers sessions for R50. http://counsellinghub.org.za.” – Lisa Knott “A Vitamin B Complex supplement helps me so much, sometimes when things are I go for Vitamin B injections. R60 at Clicks.” – Francoise Hannah Phillips “For exercise and a wonderful sense of community join Jeff Fitness (R200 per month).” – Philippa Matthews Scorey
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Off the shelf
… BUT IT WASN’T ALL BAD!
Judging by all the positive endorsements in the comments on Sarah-Kate’s post, this is definitely one for parents of teen girls looking for valuable insights and advice.
Natalie Harper flipped 2020 on its head and asked, “What good things happened to you in 2020?” • “We got a puppy called Cooper Norman who we are all madly in love with.” – MELANIE LOEBENBERG NOVITZKAS
• “I gave birth to the most gorgeous little boy after thinking I would never be a parent.” – GRETCHEN NICOLE GARDINER
• “Left the good for nothing sperm donor and bought me and my kids a shack.” – LUBHA LULU
• “I’ve literally sorted and tidied every corner of my house.” – SHARON MARCOW KAHN
• “I was privileged to get a new car as well as a new job in my company.”
Warts Begone! Everyone, it seems, has a family remedy for warts. Here are 5 of the strangest…
– JOLENE PAGE
• “Spent some amazing quality time with my teens.” – SALLY HETHERINGTON
• “Lockdown with my amazing boyfriend made us realize it is okay if he moves in, which he did.” – JODI SCHIFF
• “I got to spend oodles of time with the young people in my world, hilarious evenings playing board games, chatting over morning coffee, and just ‘being’.” – BEV STROUD BARCLAY
• “Our intimate Corona wedding at home.” – CANDICE SEGGIE
• “I taught my 6 and 7 year old how to sew and now they just love it.” – AMANDA CONRADIE
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FOMO
Your Very BEST Camp Sites!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Berg River Resort, near Paarl Ou Skip Holiday Resort, Melkbosstrand Simonskloof, near Montagu Guano Caves Camp Site, near Montagu Vloedbos, Caledon De Bos, Montagu Old Mac Daddy, Grabouw Slanghoek Mountain Resort, Rawsonville De Hollandsche Molen, Franschhoek Algeria, Cederberg Beaverlac, near Porterville
Doringlaagte, near Montagu Kam’Bati, near Swellendam 14 Wolfkop, Cederberg 15 Jamaka Organic Farm, Cederberg 16 Rondeberg Holiday Resort, Clanwilliam 17 Greyton Twin Rivers Camp 18 Silwerstrand River Resort, Robertson 19 22 Watervalle, near Porterville 20 Nuwerust, Cederberg 21 Blue Hippo Farm, Greyton 22 Fynbos, Wolsley 12
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Sla n g tai n R hoek esort
You, know i t s true!
Beach and Beyond Villagers Nicky and Cally are the talents behind Turkish peshtimal brand Brompton Cross. We love their 100% cotton woven towels, wraps, bedcovers and throws – so stylish, so easy to care for and so on our wishlist for Christmas! Their products make great gifts and we think the wraps are the ultimate summer essential.
Here are your top recommendations – all kid-friendly and within a three-hour radius of Cape Town. Happy camping!
A great share from Taryn Dekel
One day you , re young and fun, and the next day you , re get ting excited about an
GENIUS SOLVE FOR THIS PROBLEM!
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Project 18 collects orphan socks to make dog beds! (Thanks, Chantal Monnery! www. project18.org.za)
Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea and drink the wild air. Ralph Waldo Emerson
To view our range of 100% cotton beach towels, bath towels and throws, please visit us at www.bromptoncross.co.za.
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FOMO
WHAT VILLAGE?
It seems Vanessa isn’t the only one suffering MA Brain…
Michelle Sheperd It’s exactly why my kids have me saved as Goldfish on their phones!
Pippa Kerry Noik If it makes you feel any better, I go downstairs to get washing, return upstairs with a toilet roll, go back down to get the intended washing and return upstairs with a chocolate
Alexa Ristow My hubby said last night he is going to invent...... Train of thoughts pills, he says I need help finishing sentences!!!!!!!!!
Mel Aufrichtig I went to a public toilet in Cavendish this morning, washed my hands and realised I couldn’t find my phone. Panicked, I searched the cubicle, the basin... nothing! So I ask loudly to the people in the bathroom if anyone had seen a phone in a pink case only for one of them to point out that it was tucked under my arm
Nadine Brink My conversations lately goes something like this... “that other day when we went to that other place on that other street, with those big things (trees), with those other people (my children), and we had that stuff, what you called it, to eat”
3, 2, 1… Pancakes! This, according to Villagers in the know, is the very best ‘church bazaar’ pancake recipe ever.
LISTEN UP!
3, 2, 1 = 3 eggs + 2 cups milk + 1 cup flour Mix, let it stand in the fridge for 15 minutes– and voila! Batter ready for flipping!
If you’re Jewish or are intrigued by Jewish culture then tune into CHAI FM and listen to the carefuly curated library of podcasts on offer on a huge range of topics – from health to political commentary to personal development and Jewish affairs. It’s a great way to stay abreast of current and cultural affairs. Click here
Top Tips
• Add a dash of vanilla essence • Replace one cup of milk with a cup of plain yoghurt • Add a dash of sunflower or coconut oil • Store mixture in 2 litre milk bottle in fridge – and pour and use as you need.
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Helping you, helping me You. Guys. Are. Amazing! If you read the blurb on the Village in the About section on our Facebook page, you’ll see we call ourselves “South Africa’s most supportive, nonjudgemental and harmonious online community… Every member is here because we dream of creating a better world for ALL families.” A post by Kim Pinto really spotlighted the generosity of you, our community of awesome Villagers. Kim suggested people list what they truly NEEDED, to see if perhaps fellow Villagers could help out. WOW! 1.3k comments and a whole lot of amazing matches made. Here’s just a tiny taste of some fabulous fixes that changed hands. Thank you, everyone! • A bed for a little boy • Free antenatal classes • A vacuum cleaner • Clothes and homewear for a family who lost everything in a fire • Spekbooms • Food vouchers • Kitchenware for a community feeding site • Food processor • Free coaching session for parents of child with ADHD • Loads of baby clothes and gear
Pasta Plenty
Villagers, how would we feed our ever-hungry teens without pasta? Pasta Grande is the affordable quality buy that comes in 10 different variants and which is so easy to cook – in fact, their website is full of simple, quick and delicious recipes that our teens could and should master these holidays. Click here to see some of their moreish meals, you’ll be inspired.
Th monis th
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47 582 comments Members: 37 748 142 000 engagements FOMO now has 5 000 subscribers!
the teenage years are... a period of rapid changes. between the ages of 13 and 19, for example, a parent can age 100 years!
THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE TO SPEAK TO SPEAK TO A TRAINED COUNSELOR TODAY Available 24/7 Toll Free 0800 24 24 36 Whatsapp: 076 957 2060 www.chaifmhelpline.co.za
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FOMO
We will blame any gift mayhem on you, Dionne Peters!
UMMM… THANKS?
Julie Williams asked you to share the best (read worst) gifts you’ve ever received. Talk about pearlers!
MOVE OVER, SECRET SANTA…
… this gift exchange games sound like loads more fun! YANKEE SWAP 1. Buy your gift at prearranged price 2. Wrap your gift. Do not mark or label it. 3. Put your wrapped gift in middle of your seating circle. 4. Everyone draws a number from a hat (the numbers must match the total number of people in the group – and presents!) 5. Number 1 picks a gift and unwraps it. 6. Number 2 and subsequent players can choose to unwrap a new gift or steal from previous players’ unwrapped gifts. 7. If someone steals from you, choose to unwrap a new gift or steal from someone (you are not allowed to steal back from person who just stole from you!). 8. All gifts can only be stolen for 3 times. 9. After everyone’s turn, number 1 can choose to keep his gift or steal from anyone. 10. The game ends when number 1 decides to keep his gift or after all the stealing is complete.
Mother of Invention
Proof that moms can always make a plan! Vienie’s post got close to 1000 likes!
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VILLAGE BOOK CLUB Looking for a clever and funny holiday read? Here’s your fave picks City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Amateur by John Niven
Chocolate Lovers Series
More Than a Woman
Notes from a Small Island
Me Talk Pretty One Day
This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay
Husband Replacement Therapy by Kathy Lette
Absolutely Smashing It
The Last Resort by Douglas Rogers
by Tara Sivecs by Bill Bryson
by Kathryn Wallace
Bossy Pants by Tina Fey Stupid Cupid by Arabella Weir Moranthology by Caitlin Moran The Garden of Small Beginnings by Delia Owens Anxious People
by Fredrik Backman
Going Postal by Terry Pratchet The Blessed Girl
by Angela Mokholwa
Where Did You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple
by Caitlin Moran
by David Sedaris
Wife After Wife by Olivia Hayfield Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy by Kevin Kwan
Just a Little Prick by Peter Desmarais
A Short History of Tractors in Ukraine by Marina Lewycka Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy O’Toole
Million Miles from Normal by Paige Nick
Sober Street World without wine embraces sobriety by leaving out a significant emotion – guilt! By joining this supportive, authentic community and signing up to the challenges and workshops, you are taking powerful steps to leaning into a healthier life where wine is not the first thing you reach for when triggered. Click here to do the ‘am I an alcoholic’ quiz, it could change your life.