Whether you believe in it or not
I A Strange Satellite
A Strange Satellite One of the theories about the origin of the moon states that when the earth was young and eager, laboring under the illusion of invincibility endemic in youth and uncertain of its own limitations, it rotated much too quickly and a chunk of matter separated from the flesh of its surface and was thrown into space. There it was held in orbit, not so much by a sense of obligation to its parent as by the irresistible force of gravity generated by earth’s iron core. Of course, the popular theory now is the Giant Impact Hypothesis, where a third party catalyzed the separation. The unyielding effect of gravity, however, still stands.
I
A Strange Satellite
Q:
What does this mean for us?
A:
When we are young and caught in the wild spin of our own formation, and we release parts of ourselves into the Universe, there is an invisible force generated from within that keeps our debris connected to us.
II
A Strange Satellite
Here we are, all of us, bumbling around, peering at one another through our individual clouds of space junk. Peering, and talking, not just talking but actually sharing, and laughing and crying of course, and kissing and fucking, as humans tend to do, with all our clutter in tow. Occasionally (good grief) we may get close enough to another body to share whatever it is we have in orbit-- we all know how that turns out. The only thing worse than your own debris is that of other people, but the mingling of junk certainly feels nice at the time.
III
Baryogenesis
A Strange Satellite It’s true that, upon initial observation, the moon seems to be a completely separate celestial body orbiting the earth. But in reality, they are two organs functioning in the same system. It’s strange that our heart, the pacemaker of our planet, is something so distant. From her perch in space, our satellite pushes and pulls the oceans, the life-blood of the earth. It is her force that creates the regular and predictable pulse of the tides, every twelve and a half hours. The rhythm of our pulse is set without our input, but her pace is our pace and there is not much we can do but learn to live by it. The rib-cage is not a very practical position for a heart anyway. The interior placement of it suggests a tameness and familiarity that doesn’t truly exist, and limits accessibility to those whose orbits we share.
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A Strange Satellite
My heart is a strange satellite that I keep on a long, long leash. She’s largely unexplored, being so distant, and very mysterious, her face constantly changing, always turning away, always a dark side (courtesy of synchronous rotation). She is not always full, as I would like, but waxes and wanes. She controls the pulse of the blood rushing through the riverbeds of my arteries, waves of it flooding into the hemispheres of my brain, the nodes of my lungs.
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A Strange Satellite
I can see her now, hanging low over the horizon, soaking in the dredges of the sunset. I’d like to lick the sharp sickle of the waxing crescent and see what spills out. I’d like to take a bite out of the ancient orange gibbous lifting herself over the city in the middle of the night.
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II The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future
It is also possible that my heart is more like an electron - it seems to operate according to the uncertainty principle. The closer I get to knowing where it is right now, the less I know about its future movement. Never mind the observer effect, which states that by even attempting to understand the system, I am disrupting it.
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The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future If I study up on scattering theory, it’s possible I could learn to predict the patterns that govern the movement of my swarm of heart-particles. You’d think that, as an organ, it would operate as one single unit, yet it never seems to stick together. It ends up spread all over this goddamned country and I’m not sure how to locate the bits- the uncertainty principle! But if we take scattering theory as our hypothesis, that still leaves us with a good number of questions. Does my love operate within a multiple- or single-scattering model? What about backscatter? There are the waves, and there are the particles, and there are several different scattering models depending on the relationship between the two. I would like to be able to make accurate predictions, but I guess I have a lot of reading to do first.
VIII
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future Flashcards could be a solution. Each would be printed with a summary of a concept that I otherwise would not remember, never mind fully comprehend. Loop quantum gravity. String theory. Electron spin. The Pauli Exclusion Principle. The Belavkin Equation. It would be a very large deck, but the only way you can make accurate predictions is to keep the cards with you and read from them regularly, so that you begin to develop a rapport.
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The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future
Here, let me read the cards for you, we’ll predict your future behaviour. First we need to charge them- direct your energy to the cards as I shuffle. Think about a specific question, or the points of tension in your life. Okay, are you ready to stop shuffling? Alright- now, focus, and pull three cards from the spread, in order.
X
Hawking Radiation
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future Now, turn the first card. The card in the first position reflects the past. It could be the recent past, or very distant; your childhood… It depends entirely on how you charged the deck. Now, let’s see. Ah, yes, Action at a Distance. You have been influenced by a distant object. You could not resist its pull, although it was never close to you. It was always just out of reach. But still, you responded to its movement, you changed according to the invisible force it exerted on you. I’m sure this was a difficult time for you, because, let’s be honest, change is fucking hard, and you were probably very alone. But, here you are- it’s in the past now.
XI
Action At A Distance
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future Let’s look at the card in the second positionyour current state. Hawking Radiation! A very creative card, and a card of growth. Imagine yourself as a black hole, a portal, expanding and contracting. You feel the vacuum of emptiness that sits at the core of us all. And yet, you are full of potential, creating particles out of what only seems to be absolute nothingness.
XII
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future Possible outcomes, the third position. Baryogenesis. Very interesting. A very open-ended card‌ You know, this is an unsolved question of physics. Why is our Universe made entirely of matter? There is supposed to be a perfect balance between matter and anti-matter, so where did all that anti-matter go? This card speaks of searching for dark places, or shadow selves, but it also suggests solutions. It could represent uncertainty, or mystery‌ alternatively, it could promise endless answers to a previously unanswerable question.
XIII
The Determination of the Future Behaviour of an Atomic Particle is Based on the Current Behaviour of Subatomic Particles, or, Predicting the Future Don’t forget that the final card is not set in stone, it’s only a potential outcome based on your current momentum. It depends entirely on what you choose to do with your current state. You can always transform your approach if you’re worried about where you’re headed. You could say that the situation requires further research.
Don’t hold me to this, by the way. I’m not an expert.
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III A Pheromone to Guide You Home
A Pheromone To Guide You Home
I may not be an expert in quantum physics, or the future, but I do know a lot about bees. Worker bees will forage for food as close to the hive as possible, but if necessary, they will travel over eight kilometers on a single foraging flight for richer nectar hauls. What this also means is, if you find yourself starving, do not settle for what is closest to home.
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A Pheromone To Guide You Home
Even after travelling this far, the bees are able to navigate their way back to the hive. They do this partially by memorizing landmarks, but mostly by judging the position of the sun at the time of departure and the time of return. By factoring in the passage of time, and using trigonometry, they are able to calculate a route home. This also means, time is always a factor, but it is not necessarily an obstacle.
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A Pheromone To Guide You Home
This also means, you should have paid attention in high school math. All the things you manage to learn become tools that you might someday need to chart a course home
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A Pheromone To Guide You Home
A honeybee’s sense of direction is so acute that if the hive has been moved even a foot in any direction, they will return to the precise location of where the entrance should be: where it was when they left. (The more you know about where something is, the less you know about where it will be next). Momentarily they will locate the hive’s new position by the scent of the pheromones released by their queen, different from any other queen bee in any other hive.
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A Pheromone To Guide You Home
Q:
What does this mean?
A:
“Home� sometimes moves in patterns that you do not understand well enough to predict. And, disorientation is normal, but you have the tools to find your way. This means, there will be someone familiar waiting for you, even when you are returning to a strange place.
XIX
A Pheromone To Guide You Home A queen bee is the mother of every bee in her hive. Not only are they all blood related, in many ways they function as one entity, with the queen as the unifying center. The health of the whole depends on each bee performing a few small tasks, and with the huge volume of individual insects, the hive runs smoothly. Nurse bees, house-cleaning bees, honey- and wax-making bees, guard bees, and the bees that leave home to collect nectar and pollen from a million rich blossoms. Each foraging bee is but a small piece of the whole, released into the world, and guided home by the pheromones (invisible forces) that bind the hive together.
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IV
Further Research
Further Research Q:
Is the heart more like a satellite, or a rebellious child?
Q:
Am I just a hive for a million tiny love-bees?
Q:
Will they be able to navigate their way back to me using trigonometry and the sun?
Q:
Will I only be reunited with the ones who paid attention in high school math?
Q:
Where does it leave us if none of them took chemistry or physics?
Q:
Would I be able to determine my own future movement if I had a better grasp of quantum mechanics?
XXI
Further Research Q:
Could we chart the randomly appearing sparks of our hearts the way we chart tides or stars or heartbeats?
Q:
Can you feel the pulse of the waves in your brain?
Q:
Do I secrete a pheromone that guides you back home?
Q:
Can we really trust gravity to hold us together?
Q:
Do I even need to understand the systems in order for them to work?
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V
Conclusions
Conclusions
If you wade into the water, you will most likely sink, but if you had waited twelve and a half hours the tide would have been out. Learn the pulse of the world. In the meantime, maybe learn how to swim, or at least how to hold your breath.
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Conclusions
Gravity is not the cause of the fall, but it does guide us down. It is, however, the cause of the tides. Do not underestimate the pull of far-away bodies.
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Conclusions
You may not have a mind for physics, but pattern recognition will still serve you well.
XXV
Conclusions
Do not underestimate new places that smell like home. Do not underestimate a strong sense of direction.
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Conclusions
Do not underestimate the laws of your own heart, which will continue to be true, whether you believe in it or not.
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Whether you believe in it or not Written and illustrated by Rebecca Smyth Layout and design by Veronica Diniz Printing made possible by the Fine Arts Reading Room at Concordia University Š 2014