LGBTQ

YOU ARE... 11 rustlernews.com February 6, 2020 LGBT Coming out of the closet by Isabel Foley, introduction to journalism

Coming out is incredibly personal and people face many challenges. Some aren’t accepted or are told that it’s just a phase. Kasi Thompson, a teacher at North Middle School, has her own experience coming out. “My coming out experience as a whole was absolutely wonderful,” Thompson said. She said her parents didn’t skip a beat; her friends, however, were a different story.

“I think my friends had a more difficult time just because they felt like they knew everything about me and, when I told them, I think it hurt them to feel like I was lying to them the whole time, which absolutely wasn’t the case. Some friendships took a minute to bounce back to normal, but they absolutely did,” Thompson said. She said that there were no long-lasting negative effects of her coming out.

“They all realized that I am still the same person that I have always been and that will never waver because of the gender of my spouse,” she said.

Because Thompson has been through coming out herself, she has advice for those who are struggling to accept themselves.

“I would tell those struggling to come out to really latch onto the people who support them unconditionally. Come out to the people who accept you for who you are and if there are people that do not love you because of this minor detail about you then it is their loss,” Thompson said.

Coming out experiences vary from person to person. Three people look back on their personal stories and their advice they have for those struggling to tell others about their sexual preferences and gender orientation.

Christian Kiernan, a freshman, is one of these individuals who had to come out and the reactions he received varied across the board.

“Coming out with my sexuality was easy, and I came out to my mom in the middle of Walmart,” he said. Kiernan said his friends were accepting, but his dad got mad and his mom didn’t seem to care. He said he first came out to friends and saved his family for the last minute.

“I feel like my mom doesn’t care. I feel like she doesn’t support it, but she’s okay with it,” Kiernan said. He said that his friends are all okay with it; the first friend he came out to was already out as trans. However, he also said that his dad is still unsupportive, and usually just ignores the topic. “If you think coming out is not going to be safe, like you could get kicked out, don’t [come out]. Wait until you’re safe to come out. If you know your parents are supportive and accepting just come out when you are ready. Don’t let anyone force you out of the closet,” Kiernan said.

Ila Boily, a freshman, had a different experience. She said she came out to her friends first, and half of them didn’t accept her.

“I lost a lot of friends that day [...] it felt like I was being rejected by a part of me that had supported me. It sucked. I cried a lot.” Boily said. She said that to this day she has not come out to her biological mom, her brother or her stepdad. Boily said that her dad and stepmom know and accept her.

“You shouldn’t hide who you are just because you think some people won’t accept you. You need to accept the fact that people won’t accept you, because there will always be this large community of people who will, and will love you for who you are,” Boily said. by Justin Freeny, staff writer

In my short time as a gay man here at CMR, my eyes have been opened to how accepting our city is, and it has truly baffled me. There are so many LGBTQ+ people in the school, and they are accepting of one another, and it’s not just limited to just the members of the community, but it’s also the other students. For the most part, I have come across good people here who are very accepting. It has mostly been teachers and administration who have failed to try and accept me and my fellow peers into the school. I believe that school’s employees, forget that we are here and when they remember, they don’t usually respond positively. There are a few good allies here at CMR, but I know of people who refuse to come out because they are afraid that adults will retaliate against them. I especially felt this way for my underclassman years. This school should be a place where everyone can feel accepted, no matter who they are, or who they love. We are on our way to that point, but too slowly. It is 2020. It is a new decade and a brand new start. It is my hope that at some point soon, there is a drastic change. We can truly make this a school a place where everyone is more accepting.

Kasi Thompson and her wife Amanda pose for photos with their son, Finn, (above) and on their wedding day. (left) Photos courtesy of Kasi Thompson. “You shouldn’t hide who you are just because you think some people won’t accept you. You need to accept the fact that people won’t accept you, because there will always be this large community of people who will, and will love you for who you are.” --Ila Boily YOU ARE... ACCEPTED BAD*SSLOVED STRONGGOING TO BE OK WORTHYSUPPORTED VALIDAMAZING UNIQUEPERFECTLY YOU “

“I would say to anyone who is nervous about coming out, is looking at joining the club here on campus. It’s not sure for people who are already out, it’s for students who have a friend who’s out or maybe a family member who is out. I think that it is a really good place to start because you know that that group is very accepting. Another thing you can do is come and talk to one of us down in the counseling center. We can help you navigate that transition into ‘who do you tell,’ ‘when do you tell,’ and kind of navigate that road. It’s a big decision, and you have to be ready for it. It’s extremely important that each person gets to make that decision for themselves, and no one else does it for them. Jacie Schoenen counselor Page design by Nancy Beston.