Confluence The
YOUR OFFICIAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER
NOVEMBER 30, 2015
THERE IS GREATNESS WITHIN YOU
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WE LIVE A LIE
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FACE WITHOUT A SCAR
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THE SURVIVOR
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EDITORIAL Ryan White Editor-In-Chief The Confluence
Hello Readership,
Harman Dandiwal Production Editor, The Confluence Communications Officer, CNCSU
It seems like the winter break is right around the corner doesn’t it? All we have to do is make it past November and finals. This is easier said than done. We at the College of New Caledonia Students’ Union would like to remind every student on campus that your mental health is more important than your GPA. Although it is important to study and complete your schooling, you students should make some attempt to decrease your stress levels. Stress reduction techniques can be as simple as a five to fifteen minute break, or a nice walk with a lot of fresh air, but be sure to bundle up if you choose the later. Also, ensure you are getting your daily intake of water because dehydration is not going to do you any favours when it comes to learning, loving, and living.
Ryan Urban White
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Editor-in-Chief, The Confluence
Submissions, inquiries and requests can be made to news@cncsu.ca, in person at the CNCSU room 1-303, or mailed to “The Confluence c/o CNCSU 3330-22nd Ave. Prince George, BC V2N1P8. All submissions are welcome, the authors of edited works used in the confluence receive a $20 cheque upon publication. Advertisement rates are available upon request.
As per usual, the Confluence is looking for submissions and will pay you for your work. Submissions can include, but are not limited to, news articles, photography, reviews, creative writing, poetry, and opinion pieces. We are also looking for regular contributors, so please e-mail us at the.confluence.mag@gmail.com if you would like to hear more about this opportunity to write regularly and receive beer money. Have a great rest of the semester
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THERE IS GREATNESS WITHIN YOU
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by : Sara O’Donnell In the August humidity that encompasses San Diego, California stood 300 kids from 42 different countries. Each of us was sweaty and unsure about what the next 5 days were going to bring. Tony Robbins Global Youth Leadership Summit is held once a year, every year, and this year I had the honour of attending. The Leadership Summit was a place that was going to take your comfort zone and stomp it. We were all gathered in an auditorium sitting next to strangers who may not even speak the same language. You were told if you attended these 5 days you would never ever be the same again and I have to say that those people were not wrong. We were taught so many amazing lessons; however, the one experience that stood out the most to me was doing the board break. It was the most symbolic because you got to look at your limiting belief, convince yourself you were going to break through it, and then physically break the board. As the day progressed, people started to get acquainted, make friends and feel a
little more settled. Just as the first day was coming to an end, we were handed a piece of wood and a marker. We were told to write a limiting belief on it, something that was holding us back. Such as a fear of rejection, not being good enough, not being liked, not being tall enough. I wrote “shyness.” I was too shy to make new friends. I remember my very first day of high school in a new town. I almost could not get out of the vehicle. I was shaking and I could not breathe and suddenly could not remember how to add two plus two. It felt like the end of the world to do something that was out of my comfort zone. I was too shy to put myself out there and my shyness started to come across as me being angry or a snob. It was hindering my life and ruining what should have been the best years of my life. On the back side of your board, you had to write what going through your limiting belief meant for you. and Jackson, and both are going to the university. On the back of the piece of solid wood, that in my mind might as well have been a brick, I wrote fulfilling relationships, love, respect, and no limitations. The whole first half of the day was to prepare us for that task. of the day was to prepare us for that task. We learned about our peak state and how to get there. We started by dancing around to happy music. All 300 of us were getting ecstatic and screaming. Then we learned to make our move, which is a shortened way of getting your body into a euphoric nothing-can-stop-me feeling. A few years back I had a co-worker convince me I could punch through a cardboard box filled with pillows with no problem.
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After watching him succeed I thought I could try only to end up hurting myself, and that was only cardboard. I was standing there with that piece of wood in my hand wondering, how in the world is this going to work? That is when I started to scream at the top of my lungs like a maniac. I was mentally arguing with myself, and I could feel part of me going, “oh, dear god, you are going to break your fragile little hand.” Then another part of me would interrupt, “you are not shy, you are outstanding, and this twig has nothing on you!” Then suddenly I was at the front of my line watching the kid in front of me load his arm into a firing position. It was like witnessing a gun ready to explode. Everything seemed to stop after that, the noise of the room was larger than life. People started to move in slow-motion, screaming and cheering banging the two broken pieces of their board together in support. I handed this girl my board and she started pointing at it and yelling words I could not make out. Suddenly something washed over me. A wave of adrenaline hit me like a 50 foot wall of ocean water that threw your body around like a leaf in the wind. I was screaming bloody murder, and all of a sudden my hand was on the opposite side of the board. Breaking that board changed my life. I still feel shy from time to time but now I just think back to the feelings I felt that day in San Diego, and I take a deep breath and push through them. I cannot even begin to describe the way it feels when you have something you did not think possible. I get shivers to think about: when I put my hand through the board, it captured for me a state of power where my adrenaline was peaked and never ending.
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MARV’SCOMIC:
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PRE-ELECTIONS
POST ELECTION PONDERINGS 2015 08 THECONFLUENCE
by : Erin J. Bauman
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Now that niqabs are a non-issue again populations and politicians go back to arguing about economic sustainability with their heads seemingly stuck in the tar sands. Meanwhile the rest of the world appears to be more concerned with our new leaders looks than with his ability to stave off the painful sociecide put in motion by his predecessor. Being Canadian was confusing enough before, and now we have underpinned every layered label we have with hypocrisy and drilled more holes in our own honor than we have in all of Alberta. The wheels of industries that embrace biocide for profit still continue to turn, red and white are still the separated colors of our countries flag and everyone still ignores the keystone laying down a path that will only lead us deeper into the slick mess we have made of our environment and our economy. We may have put a prettier face on the problem, but it is far from being resolved; however, Canadians sit back and smugly celebrate the seeming success of their strategy from the serene sidelines of a battle that is barely the beginning of the war we all have to win for this world.
SCOLIOSIS: A CHALLENGE I FACED
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by : Ekechukwu Nnewunne Scoliosis is the side-to-side, or rotated curvature of the spine. An x-ray of my spine shows the misalignment of my shoulders and the fact that I always stand with my weight on my left leg. I was diagnosed with the mild scoliosis curve of twelve degrees. The diagnosis of the scoliosis challenged me emotionally and physically, but I recovered from it. When I was first diagnosed, I felt anxiety, fear, and withdrawal. I thought I was alone in my journey. I had to wear brace to hold my spine in place so the curve would not get worse. Frustration, exasperation, and annoyance were some of the emotions that consumed me the first day I wore my brace. I was frustrated that I felt restricted from normal activities, frustrated that my spine was interfering with my life and preventing me from living an active life. I was so nervous, fearing my curves had worsened and worried about the possibility of undergoing surgery. People kept staring at the shape of my body because I had uneven shoulders and my head appeared ahead of my shoulders when viewed from the side. People asked me about twenty questions a day and this annoyed me. I felt that they would not be close to me. I avoided teasing from other children and peers at school, but they still rejected and made rude comments despite being educated about scoliosis. I wore clothes that hid my brace whenever I went to a new place where no one knew my condition. I wore my brace sixteen hours a day, seven days a week, and even to bed. The brace brought physical pain, sleepless nights, feelings of desolation and despair, skin irritations and discomfort. Sometimes the muscles being held
by the brace became small and weak. It was painful to eat, as my stomach would press against the rigid plastic when it expanded. My brace restricted me from physical activities and it brought me social stigma. My interests were the effect of scoliosis on my physical appearance, and the fear of my body developing abnormally. I made my dad drop me at school early enough to walk alone to class, and to drive to the school building after school to avoid walking long distances where others could notice my posture. My dad bought equipment needed for exercise to enable my quick recovery and a physical therapist was employed to setup this program. This made me have little time for my academics, and I was weak each time I was done with my exercise. My family gave all the support I needed, and with the comfort of my family, I was able to overcome my physical struggles. I was to be examined by the doctor every three months to monitor the influence of the brace. When I was twelve years old, my mom and I went to the hospital for a checkup. After the x-ray results had been given to the doctor, he looked at it and examined it with care and told my mom that the brace cannot correct my spine to its normal position, though he did not clearly state what he meant. My heartbeat was faster than normal. My mom and I thought my curve had increased to the point that I needed a surgery, and my mom looked at me with tears in her eyes. The doctor said that there was no need to shed tears and he wrote a note saying another x-ray should be done, and when the results were out, he compared the mild curve x-ray to the recent one and said that there was no need for me to wear a back brace again. The doctor said, “The brace cannot correct the position of other people’s spine but in my case it was a miracle. My mom and I were very happy. The news went round the entire hospital and my family members praised God for his miracles. Despite being diagnosed with scoliosis and facing challenges with my emotions, physical state, and recovery, I have learnt to trust God in all situations and have high self-esteem. These moments brought me closer to my family and made me experience true love. My family decided to keep donating money to scoliosis foundations to help research, improve the lives of scoliosis patients to help them know that they are not alone and that they are bent but not broken.
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PARAPHERNALIA
OF ODDMENTS
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by : Paul Strickland Carl had a hard time packing packets of photographs, containers of medications, left-over rolls of coins from casinos, journals, notebooks, documents, letter-writing paper, a chequebook, his passport, souvenirs and pocketbook fiction into his briefcase. In a panic an hour and a half before his flight from Reno to Seattle was to leave, he couldn’t find his airline ticket. A frantic search led to its being discovered less than an hour before departure time. As a result, many of the things in his briefcase had been thrown in haphazardly, making for a confusing array of paraphernalia of oddments for any customs or security officer to look through. Arriving at the airport in a frenzied state, he barely got through the check-in station and the security line in time before they closed the door to the ramp down to the Cirrus Air plane. The taxi driver had looked closely at Carl’s black hard-plastic briefcase with its in-set combination lock and commented that it looked like the type that could survive a nuclear blast over Fort Knox.
Carl told him security personnel often asked if it was a laptop. Heavy early fall fog delayed landing in Seattle for more than a half hour as the flight was kept flying around in a holding pattern. Once in the airport, Carl headed directly to the Alaska Grizzly Lounge for a drink. The bartender asked for ID. “Is this the Fountain of Youth Bar?” Carl asked him, half-joking. “I’m 49.” The bartender it was policy to ask everyone for their ID, regardless of age. Because of the fog, the connecting Atlin Airlines flight to Vancouver was delayed for almost two hours. Then the fog began to dissipate, and boarding was called for the flight. As Carl advanced through the security line, he emptied his pockets and also threw his sport coat on the grey tray because it contained glasses, a shirt-pocket wire notebook, a rosary, a pocket New Testament with a gold leaf title on the cover, a tie clasp and other things that would set off the screening machine. He presented his briefcase to security personnel. “WHAT’S THIS?!” their supervisor said.
Also, Carl was single and travelling on a foreign, albeit Canadian, passport, and so fell into the profile of a potential terrorist, in the view of security personnel. Obviously these security officers thought the briefcase was too heavy to contain merely normal personal effects, or to be a laptop. They apparently had no idea how books, photographs and casino change could add up to create considerable weight. No way did the briefcase contain just paraphernalia of oddments. In their suspicions, it could only be a pipe bomb or plastic explosives that could make a briefcase so heavy. The white powder didn’t turn pink or green or whatever colour would indicate the presence of explosives. Carl was finally allowed to put the briefcase on the conveyor belt to go through the X-ray machine the way all the rest of the travellers with carry-ons did. He headed to a lounge after clearing customs in Vancouver.
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“My briefcase,” Carl answered. “If you want to look inside, I can open it for you.” The supervisor refused Carl’s offer, and instead ordered, “LEAVE THE AREA AND STAND BACK!” One security man took hold of his right elbow and showed him to a spot behind the second row of chairs in the waiting lounge. In a moment the supervisor opened a packet of white powder and shook its contents all over the briefcase. Recently a prize-winner had driven a car full of explosives to a terminal in the Los Angeles International Airport, but had been stopped by police before he could set them off. Security had been stepped up as a result.
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by : Tess Layfield The sounds of screams and shouting people came from the TV as soon as the ads came on. I find it always seems to get so much louder once the ads turn on. This time they were about transportation, saying all their sweet deals. We live a lie; I truly think it is all just a rip off. Since I moved away from my boyfriend and family, I often like to go back to visit. Yet there are quite a few different options to take, and I have almost taken them all; the list starts with cabs, air planes, and then busses - that’s town busses and of course the good old Greyhound. There’s always the choice of having your own vehicle, but I don’t, not since the summer. The college I am attending makes all students pay for the town busses. To this day, I am still trying to sell my Toyota Matrix XR. She is a 04 and runs beautifully, and I really need the money for college. So it all starts with a cab ride. I slammed the door after me as I jumped into the cab. “Airport please”, I said to the driver as he began to pull out of my driveway. We had a steady conversation on our drive. Now a days airports are so far out into the country I knew the fare would rack up quickly. I noticed it started at three dollars or so the moment I jumped into the cab. The fare began going up; it seemed to go up once or twice every minute! I hated being able to watch my money go like that. It was like spending money on something pointless or not at all, as if it all got destroyed. It made my heart melt. Finally getting to the airport I looked down, thirty-eight dollars just for that! The cab driver smiled, and told me the price. They always seem to smile! At that point I always seem to get a little unhappy thinking to myself, this is such a rip off! I cannot believe I have got sucked into this! But you have to do what you have to do. It feels like I’m going against myself and what I stand for. Just the idea of supporting the company upsets me. Transportation is such a waste of money I think. As our world grows, we’re always coming up with newer and so called “better” transportation. In
WE LIVE A LIE the year 2015, I think we can all agree that airplanes are the quickest way to travel, but are they affordable is the question. Or is this type of transportation just a rip off? Paying full price for a plane ticket is something I would never do, and I think no one else should either. Air miles is a good way to go, collect points at Safeway and many more other places. I understand that sometimes you have to do what you have to do to get home for Christmas. But still the idea of it makes me sick. Fortunately I had a friend that worked at the airport when I needed a plane ticket. I could imagine a flight from Prince George to Smithers would be a few bucks. I got it for twenty dollars each way! That’s crazy! For that price I was very happy. As I went and checked in at the airport I saw they were also charging twenty dollars each way for a “boarding fee”. My mind exploded! What a rip off I thought to myself, but who could complain, the flight is still only forty-five minutes compared to four hours in a car. At this point I was paying the same to travel by plane or car. Forty dollars would be gas money each way in a car, but oh well, I am still saving so much time. I was happy about that, until I heard the announcement, “all passengers traveling to Smithers today, there will be an hour delay of the flight due to the weather”. I was pissed! I already had to show up at least an hour early, and now I am waiting an hour later! Only a half an hour passed until another announcement
The Greyhound bus seems to be the best way even to this day. If I were to drive I could do it in maybe just over three and a half hours. The bus takes five hours or so to do the same distance. Somehow they manage to waist an hour on the way. Either way I believe it is the way to go, yet the seats are such a pain! There is truly no way to be comfy for hours on end on that bus, I feel like I have tried every possible way to sit or lay in those seats. Transportation may never go just the way you want it to go, but sometimes you just have to choose the best option you can to get where you want to go. I think the bus is the way to go in transportation. As the world moves on so will transportation. We started from nothing and then came the “wheel” and now “wings”. We are truly extraordinary, but still do not know how to treat people fairly, or to help each other from the kindness of our hearts. We live a lie! No one now a days would do something for nothing. To live our daily lives we accept the fact of being ripped off in just about everything. That is just the way the world works now, and we have ourselves to blame.
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came on, “all passengers traveling to Smithers today, there will be a two hour delay on top, now setting the flight back three hours. You are now set to leave at three p.m. today”. Wow, I could have gone to my English class that I had to skip just to sit in an airport all day. I ended up taking a nap. A nap in an airport of all places just because it has been delayed for so long. What a rip off, a pointless day. Yet it was not even anyone’s fault. I could have just drove in the morning and been in Smithers by now! I am not doing that again I thought to myself. The next time I would defiantly look for another option in transportation that would not possibly be a rip off. Transportation continues to not make sense for me. Every time I seem to think of a new option I cannot help but think to myself, what a rip off this is! Yet I continue to want to go home to visit my boyfriend and family. The Greyhound bus was the next type of transportation I was ready to give a try. I searched online finding that a ticket from Prince George to Smithers was only fortytwo dollars! Seeing that brought a smile to my face, but I thought to myself, each way, it turns out being the same price as to just drive a car; but of course car insurance adds to that bill.
FACE WITHOUT A SCAR
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by : Dali Yang
Scarface is one of my favorite movies, and Al Pacino who plays the main actor, uses his impressive acting skill to conquer the audience. The movie shows how a Cuban refugee enriches his friend and himself and then ruins everything he built up. Tony Montana used to be a drug deliveryman and did illegal businesses; as a result of his unremitting effort, he becomes a big boss in his area. Unfortunately, he destroyed his own career by being over confident. At the end of this movie, there is a bloodbath where his foes killed all his friends and family. In my opinion, Tony Montana would not have had to suffer that depression if he had been not so mean to everyone and treated people around him better. His younger sister would not have rebelled against him if he had been nicer to her. At the beginning, he also had a hard time because his boss was mean to him and would not pay him a lot even though he did his job well. Although he was not so rich, he gave his sister and mother money, which his mother did not agree with, to let them have
a better life. However, he loved his sister too much so that he constrained her from doing what she wanted. As time passed, she started to hate him but he did not realize that was happening. When he figured out everything, it was too late for him to save her, so with regret he just shoots her. Admittedly, he wanted to protect his younger sister, but his style was so hawkish that he did not allow anything he was unwilling to see, especially things happening to her. Furthermore, she was in her rebellious period, thus his control made her uncomfortable, which he did not realize, and she opposed his behavior and did not listen to him. Her betrayal gave him a strong, frustrated feeling and that was one of the reasons for his depression. His girlfriend would have helped him much more if he had been more patient and respected her. At first, Elvira was with Tony’s boss and Tony was nothing in her eyes. To Tony, she was such a pretty woman that he wanted to replace his boss and get married to her. Surprisingly, he did that and took over all of his boss’s businesses. Then he became so rich that he owned a huge enterprise, and he gave Elvira whatever she likes. However, they started to take drugs and become addicted to them. She could not have a baby for him, and he was very angry with that and blamed everything on her, but it is not only her fault; the more false one is Tony who thinks he does not have any responsibilities for this. Tony destroyed her life step by step, and when his enemies finally came to his villa, she died under their strafing. Being impatient and mean to Elvira resulted in her inability to put up with Tony anymore. As a result, her leaving gives Tony a feeling of failure; that was one of the reasons for his depression as well.
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Manny, Tony’s best friend, who stayed with Tony after escaping from Cuba together, does too many things for Tony. Despite this, Tony still suspects Manny without reason. When Tony was nothing, Manny helped him a lot and had faith that Tony would have a better career as long as they were like a family. However, Manny’s hope is crushed as Tony’s enterprise is getting bigger. Tony doubts Manny on many things, but Manny does everything good for him. Tony would not listen to Manny’s advice, and this results in many tragedies such as being cheated by other gangsters and being blackmailed by some opponents. It is nothing for Tony to lose money, but he lost Manny, his best friend. All the time, Manny handles everything for him and takes care of his family. Sadly, Manny loves Tony’s sister; however, Tony does not allow her to date with people around him, including his best brother, Manny. No one can stop a couple that loves each other so much. Manny and Tony’s sister love each other deeply and are ready to get married. When Tony heard that news and found his sister in Manny’s house, Tony shot Manny without thinking and took her out directly. Tony just killed his best brother and assistant, because he became crazy after taking drugs and lost his mind. Eventually, Tony screwed up the empire that Manny and he built. Without Manny’s protection, his foes came into his villa with arms and shot everything. He was so tough that after being shot nearly ten times, he could still fight back and shout at his enemies. When a gangster shot him with a bazooka, everything was gone. Tony’s suspension of Manny leads to Tony making a huge mistake, and that is the most important reason that Tony became depressed. The Tony Montana Empire was gone and everything Tony had disappeared. Although that is a movie, it is an old movie. It shows us that we should not be so mean to people around us and show some respect and be patient. Friends are friends. Families are families. They would not frame us. All they want is good for us. Sometimes, they do things in a way that we do not like, but that does not mean they want to make us worse. We should show understanding and sympathy for families who want to help us instead of being mean and impatient. If Tony would have realized this, he could have had a better ending. And the face would be without a scar…
THE SURVIVOR by : Carrie Davis
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A Children’s Hospital Foundation typically never crosses one’s mind until there is need. When my daughter, Jenessa, was born on July 5th, 2009, her existence depended on pediatric surgeons at the BC Children’s Hospital in Vancouver; it was then that I realised the importance of advancement in medical technology because five years earlier, a child born with a Type C-Tracheoesophageal Fistula, like Jenessa, would have died. This rare abnormality occurs in the third week of development during pregnancy. In her case, both air and food pipes failed to fuse their structure causing her esophagus to attach to her airway instead of her mouth. At eighteen weeks pregnant, ultrasounds uncovered abnormalities. I became a patient of the BC Women’s Hospital, where several doctors, probably more than I can count, assumed the severity of my unborn child’s condition.
Speculations of missing her stomach taunted me. After several tests doctors suggested abortion, because they were afraid of the challenges birth would bring. In denial, I wondered how anyone is truly qualified to make such recommendations. There were too many “what ifs” and “unknowns” left up to chance. Soon after, I was placed back in radiology for my first emergency 3D ultrasound, which was new technology in comparison to regular sonograms. This procedure could measure eye placement, ruling out Down Syndrome and also look for additional indicators that would assist in discovering the severity of her condition. Laying on the ultrasound table in discomfort, I remember the wet slime being rubbed all over my larger than average belly. As the ultrasound technician pushed, poked, and twisted the camera on my stomach, I almost urinated all over the table. The results showed no guarantees of her health so I was against abortion. In order to safely carry to full term, I was placed on bedrest.
kissed my forehead, and reassured me that everything was going to be okay. Then nurses returned in wet suits to begin the massive clean up of my excessive amniotic fluid spill. After the repair, Jenessa developed a leak at the surgical site that prevented her from eating; the worry of how to nourish her began. The leak caused wet lungs leading them to eventually collapse. More tubes were inserted, monitors were set up, and the beeping sounds of life support became too familiar. At four months old her leak was not healing so a G-tube was surgically inserted into her stomach. The G-tube support allowed her to be fed my pumped breast milk through a machine at home. In fact, I produced so much breast milk I donated to the milk bank before we were released and shipped frozen milk home. Time passed and the G-tube was removed. Thus began our journey in teaching Jenessa to eat orally. This unpreventable condition challenged me in communication, dedication, and devotion. Without the new technology of 3D ultrasounds, pediatric surgeons, and G-tube incisions Jenessa would not be the healthy six year old she is today. I am indebted to the BC Children’s Hospital for saving her life. Children’s charities and foundations need support for medical research in order to continue seeking advancements in procedures and technology. The BC Children’s Hospital would not be currently advancing and growing without community support. Therefore, Jenessa currently donates to Children’s Charities and offers her time to research during annual check ups. She is a survivor, my example of resilience!
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Regardless of excruciating labor pains, doctors wanted to prepare me for the surgery of my child. This being my second labor, I hoped for a natural, drug free delivery just like my first. Labor was not progressing so we prepped for a C-section. I recall the epidural sliding into my spine; I clenched my eyes from the pain. I pondered if keeping my child was the right choice. I felt selfish hoping she would survive. Eleven long hours passed, my patience and pushing paid off; she arrived! I recall Jenessa being placed on my chest, covered in a white powdery substance doctors could not explain. The unclarity was frustrating as doctors spoke in their medical lingo. Meanwhile, I wondered if she could even breathe, then before I knew it, she was taken away. Tubes went into her nose and chest allowing immediate airflow support. Her scream was music to my ears as she took her first breaths. Breathing support was implemented; then she was gone into surgery leaving me hoping that her condition was not life threatening. I was alone, no nurse or husband, as I sent him after Jenessa. The wait was only minutes but felt like an eternity. My husband returned,
A POETIC FORAY INTO THE SUPERNATURAL 20 THECONFLUENCE
by : Arlan Goodvin
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A bewitching feature of zombies and demons, ghosts and goblins, skeletons and werewolves, witches and vampires all lurking these streets; a spectacle of the frighteners and the mischievous consummate the sounds of revelry unfurled ubiquitously throughout All Hallows’ Eve. From ballads and odes, to spells and chants, to dialogues and incantations, there is a veritable brew of sounds from the unremitting abode of the unearthly. Our hope against hope is to cling to a mere possibility that a sweet treat might hold the wretched things at bay till a hint of steely light shows morning is on its way. But dawn is slow in action as all Hell has broken loose breathing out contagion to this world.
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A TRAGEDY OR A GOLDMINE
by : Yao Lin
Within one and half months of having arrived at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, my dream of becoming an Engineer filled into a full blown depression. I went to the university without preparation; I played games instead of reading textbooks after school; I isolated myself from my friends and family. The process of failing out of my first attempt at university shamed me. What I really needed to do was lose my ego, enhance the connection between peers, and make schedules in advance. Before I went to Canada in 2013, I was very confident about studying abroad. I graduated with perfect scores in an international high school in China; many universities gave me offers, and I finally chose the University of Alberta. My family and teachers were quite proud of my result, thus I thought it would be easy in the university. During the two months of the summer break, I did not prepare for going abroad. I spent my time playing games, going shopping, and traveling through my country with my friends. Although I was extremely relaxed and joyful at the end of my holiday, I had no time to research how to “survive� in Canada. Also, I did not prepare for my academic studies. During the fall term, I took five classes, and in each of them, I was confused and struggled. I thought the studies were as easy as my high school classes (and that is why I got good marks in my high school). Then I just took a few hours to read my textbook and review the handout even though my instructors said we had to spend 25 hours a week to attend in classes and take another 25 hours to study. However, what happened in the first test was I stared at my paper and
asked the adviser how to transfer another major. Therefore, with a disordered mood, I registered for three course that were related to science. However, one of my best friends who studied in the same university with me had to come back to our hometown due to some personal reasons. I used to believe that I could conquer all the challenges alone, but in fact, I did not get a decent mark in my first university term nor the second term. I started to be absent in the new semester again, even though I had taken easier courses than engineering. I had hardly ever phoned my parents since I went abroad; at that period of time, I got upset and stopped talking with others, staying at my dormitory every day. Then, the final exams came, and I refused to attend to the exams. What was my accomplishment of those two semesters? Clearly, there was a double-yolk egg on my hands. After those two semesters, I came back to China. During the time in China, I realized I did many things incorrectly. I should communicate with my parents and my friends because they can help me a lot and let me get away from being homesick. Also, I underestimated the difficulty of Engineering. I would not be arrogant in the year to come. Furthermore, I learned the rules of time management. An instructor at CNC told me,� the most useful knowledge is from the bad experience.� For those who see my bad marks, the experience in 2013 is a tragedy. However, this tragedy has caused me to avoid the mistake that I used to make, and it has lead me to be successful in my academic path.
23 THECONFLUENCE
closed my eyes, hoping that was a fake dream; it was not the dream. I ruined my first test and got scared by the difficulty of my courses. I started going to the library to study and asked friends to help, whereas it was too late. I had been one month behind the teaching schedule, and I couldn’t catch up with my lectures. I also had to deal with chores such as washing dishes and doing the laundry, which cost my energy to do them. There is no doubt that doing chores is a nightmare to most boys. Because of those reasons, I was lost and became a game addict, playing games even when I had classes at the same time; I started to skip class, and I noticed that skipping class is like taking drug. Once a person does not attend in class on purpose, that person will probably skip classes again. At the end of semester, as you can image, I failed all the courses, which means my GPA was a single egg. In the next semester, I tried to think about my terrible condition and asked an adviser to get help. However, I hided what I actually did and only