The South Coast Insider - July 2021 by Coastal Communications Corp.

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JULY 2021 Vol. 25 / No. 7

Go slow

Coastal excursions Flower powers Revived events

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July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

BUSINESS BUZZ

Social survivors by Michael J. DeCicco

Researchers prepare to drop a pyramid of cameras to the sea floor to capture the diverse ecosystem. Photos now on display as part of DATMA's WATER 2021 exhibit.

After a long season of quarantine which forced many events and attractions to be delayed or outright cancelled, it's fair to call the reemerging events survivors. In New Bedford, The Whaling City Festival will once again grace the Buttonwood Park grounds with food and merchandise vendors and carnival rides from July 8-11. Festival president Mike Sylvia said the event will be held as is tradition but in accordance with all current state and local restrictions and guidelines. "We're not planning anything new," he said, "even though we realize the restrictions are finally being slowly lifted." Sylvia has been the festival organizing committee's president for only two years. But he started as a volunteer there at age 13. Now he's age 39 and a New Bedford EMT by trade. He said nothing's stopping him from working hard to make sure this Whaling City Festival is a success, while still being safe to attend. The one thing that's new this year,

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

he said, is that the festival won't be featuring live bands because of how their performances encourage crowds in close contact with each other. "We will keep the crowd spread out this year," he said.

"We will keep the crowd spread out this year. . . we're very excited to be back" "We're very excited to be back. But we can't just ask who's been vaccinated and who hasn't been. So we're just making sure the crowd is spread out as it is a good time." He said the festival will include the usual

variety of food booths, from hamburgers to barbecue to blooming onions (whose vendor is driving up from North Carolina to attend). Eleven food vendors have signed up at this writing. But, he said, registrations to attend are still coming in. Meanwhile, there'll be over 50 arts and crafts and novelty items booths. And one of the festival's most popular main attractions will return: the Fiesta Show Carnival and its variety of carnival rides. It's one of the biggest such carnivals in New England, Sylvia noted. Plus, live pro wrestling shows will return. How will they make these shows pandemic safe? Sylvia assures attendees that strong barriers will be up to protect the audience, and all the wrestlers will be strictly tested. The festival will start with a soft opening on Thursday July 8, from 4 to 9 p.m., with

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a "family night" that will allow families to receive general admission bracelets at a flat rate. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the festival will open from noon to 9 p.m. For more info visit whalingcityfestival.org.

Lions roar

Starting on that same weekend, Mattapoisett's Harbor Day celebration will also be back, from Saturday, July 10 to Friday, July 17. Ross Kessler is the current King Lion of the Mattapoisett Lions Club, which has run this event at Shipyard Park for about 30 years. "In accordance with the state and local regulations, we are working with the Board of Selectmen and the Board of Health to make it happen this year," he said. The pandemic canceled the 2020 event. This year, Kessler calculated, there will be 15 fewer booths than normal to allow for better social distancing, and food booths will be encouraging take-out services. Plus, the traditional triathlon that happens around the same time every year will be held at a later date. But the local craft booths will still be there, and the two goals behind the event will still be met. "One is to create a community event where everybody can come together, both our locals and Submitted byto Mary Delaney Murphy from our travelers Mattapoisett," Kessler her late grandmother Mary (Sheehan said. "The second goal is to support our Delaney Lions charities, locally, nationally, and internationally." n Potatoes (decide on the amount based He that the money on explained the number of people andraised size ofby Harbor turkey)Days helps fund the events the club hosts such as the Fall Free Family Fun n Butter Festival Park and its annual n Cream at or Shipyard milk Senior Dinner. For schedule of events visit n Onion, chopped mattapoisettlionsclub.org. n Celery, chopped n Be likeseasoning, water to taste Poultry downtown New n In Salt and pepper toBedford, taste an event longer-lasting than the above will begin Boil and withconsecutive butter, milk on June 17,mash whenpotatoes for the third or cream. celery, onion, salt, pepper year, The Add Massachusetts Design and and poultry seasoning to taste. Mix and Technology Institute (DATMA) andallits place in turkey. As the turkey bakes, the partners in New Bedford will launch three dressing willart pick-up the baking and juices free public exhibitions plus numerous of the turkey. programs and initiatives that will highlight

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exhibits that will remain in place from June Portuguese stuffing

through October. Submitted by Patti Linhares from her late Known as "WATER 2021", these public mother Mary S. Correira art projects will examine the role of "water n 12 torpedo rolls n 1½ to 2 pounds ground chouriço CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE n 2 Tbs. crushed red wet pepper n 2 Tbs. minced garlic n 2 Tbs. olive oil n 2 Tbs. marinade (Michael’s Portuguese chouriço marinade)

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Experience the "Pirates and Privateers Presentation" near the Fort Phoenix cannons in Fairhaven, Friday mornings at 10am , now through September. and women working with water within the histories, economies, and cultures of the UK, South Korea, Switzerland, and the South Coast," event organizers explained in the event's press release. Four internationally known artists – Hyung S. Kim, Phil Mello, Craig Easton, and Zimoun – have been invited by DATMA to present these works. The first exhibit is entitled "Harvesters of the Deep: Portraits of Fisherwomen from South Korea, America, and the United Kingdom." This public outdoor exhibition will showcase large-scale but intimate photographic portraits that celebrate the women of the fishing industry around the globe by three artists: Hyung S. Kim, Phil Mello, and Craig Easton. The role each woman plays in the industry is unique from one country to the next. Each will be celebrated with photographs to inspire appreciation for the heroism of these underrepresented women and for the talents of the artists who have portrayed them, said DATMA Executive Director Lindsay Mis. This display, she said, will be shown free and open to the public in New Bedford along the harbor front walkways on Macarthur Boulevard and in downtown along Union Street between Water Street and North 2nd Street, from June 17 to October 17. The exhibition will be accompanied by a digital catalog with text translations in Portuguese and Korean.

The New Bedford Fishing Heritage Center is an official partner. In the center of downtown, Mis said, Swiss sound-installation artist Zimoun will mount a majestic installation sculpture representing the sea that will fill the UMass Dartmouth College of Visual and Performing Arts Star Store Swain Gallery and provide an audible, hypnotic experience to be enjoyed in the gallery or from outside. For this second exhibit, she explained, a large number of cardboard boxes stacked throughout the gallery space, each with a small dc motor swinging a cotton ball that drums against its surface, will create a multitude of identical noises with the buzzing, beating, and swiveling of hundreds of the same small motors running simultaneously against the boxes. The effect will be the sounds of the New Bedford Harbor waters themselves. The third exhibition, "Sea Scallops: Sentinels of the Deep", is a display in partnership with the School for Marine Science and Technology (SMAST) at UMass Dartmouth that will also be cast on storefront windows on a series of historic buildings in downtown New Bedford along Union Street between Acushnet Avenue and North 2nd Street from June 17 to October 17. It will be an exhibition of scientific archival photography capturing the region's sea floor, the technology used to collect data from the ocean's diverse ecosystems, and the women in fisheries

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population has ballooned from the original 20 to over 3000. While her husband has kept his IT job, Ester has been able this to commit herself to science conducting important the farm full-time. She prides herself on research that has given the local scallop providing animals with joyful, stressindustry aher rebirth and revolutionized free lives. know where fishing on “People the East should Coast. The scallop their food comes fromwith – youadvanced can really imagery was captured taste the difference,” said Bishop. underwater video technology developed sales area in April along with some hardy by Dr. Kevin Stokesbury, Professor of herbs, andacres May first is when the first big Green Fisheries Oceanography, and his team of push comes. Tender plants may waitoranBishop’s commitment to “beyond SMAST researchers. other week or so. Gardeners come from ganic” farming cuddles Intended for allextends ages to beyond be engaged, farexhibits and wide to program indulge inactivities these quality and words of affirmation to her livestock. all and are plants. She ensures thea animals designed for all both physicalare andprovided virtual with healthy, organicto meals, andfor that their Peckhams Greenhouse is open level of participation account safety waste is repurposed as manure. Tuesday through Sunday from 9 a.m. to measures during the Covid-19 pandemic, “You can see how green the grass is 5 p.m. Learn more at peckhamsgreenMis noted. where turkeys Bishop house.com. "New the Bedford hashave suchbeen,” remarkable says. “That’s because they fertilize the stories to tell about the marine industry," soil with their manure. Manure is the she said. "And this is a way to really Paradise Farm basis of organic fertilizers. There are no share that story, freefound and accessible to At Paradise Farm, at 103 Cadman chemicals added, or needed, when the the public, of allShirley ages." and For aTed Neck Roadto inpeople Westport, animals do their job.” schedule of events Robbins grow fruitsvisit andDATMA.org. vegetables but Speaking of animals doing their jobs, specialize in herbs, sold retail and wholeFind Fairhaven Bishop has conscripted her goats and sale by Shirley from their greenhouses. If you'd just takeswaths a walk,of travel to pigs intorather clearing away underShe stocks many varieties favored Fairhaven. There, the Henry H.the Rogers brush on the property – theof“gnarly vines” culinary that often double as decWalking Tours willits commence Tuesday that giveherbs the farm name. orative plants in the garden. Imagine and Thursday beginning at a Gnarly Vinesmornings, coordinates with neighgreenhouse filled with lavender, rose10 a.m. from now through the end of boring farms to provide its customers mary,a mint, sage, and lemon verbena. A September. with variety of sustainable and organic scented workplace! These tours begin outside the Townwill products. Angus beef, for instance, Hall at 40 Center weather sell out almost asStreet, soon as it comes Most of the herbs start from smallinto stock. permitting. Tour size is limited to 25 plants that arrive each March on a tractor But the farm is not bound terrestrial people and wearing for trailer that makes itsface waycoverings upby the coast limitations: the Bishops have partnered public safety is optional. This shortened from Pennsylvania, stopping along the WeCaptain’s are sure to Finest have the purrfect cat with and Sakonnet "pandemic-friendly" walk will outline way to deliver baby herbs to nurseries orlife theof cutest K-9 fresh to stealseafood your heart Lobster toStandard bring market. the Co. executive along the route. TheOil babies areto transso if you are looking for love, Bishop is particularly proud of a new iniHenry H. Rogers and the magnificent planted intous four-inch pots and nurtured checkatwith first!!food tiative the farm: security commupublic buildings that he donated to his until they have become established. As nity supported (CSA) plans. Faxon Care hometown. Theagriculture tour willoff stop at several they grow,Animal Shirley clips small branch& Adoption Center CSAs, popular among farms nation"off-the-sidewalk" spots in the village es and starts new plants established. area wide, allowinformation customers toMA pre-purchase St., process Fall River,on to provide where onethe of It’s474 anDurfee ongoing throughout “shares” of the farm’s produce, which are 508-676-1061 the nation's most powerful businessmen summer months with a big supply of grew up, his rise to riches, and he www.faxonarl.org seed-started basil added in asthe thegifts weathCONTINUED ON NEXT bestowed on Fairhaven. The tour willPAGE not er warms up. go inside any buildings this season. Paradise Hill Farm is open daily from 10 Fairhaven visitors can also experience a.m. to 5 p.m. Learn more at guide.farmthe "Pirates & Privateers Presentation" fresh.org. Friday mornings at 10 a.m., from now through September, near the Fort Whatever level of interest and skill you Phoenix cannons at the south end of Fort have as a gardener, this is the time to get Street. Learn which pirate lore is just myth outdoors and out to a local nursery. Now and what stories true.— The pirate lore —are HOURS you know how preparation has led Mon. & Tue. 8:30-4:30pm is enhanced bymuch true stories of privateering to the geranium or rosemary or hanging Wed. & Sat. 8:30-12 in and around Buzzards BayNoon during the 8:30-5pm • Fri 8:30-6pm basket ofThu. begonias you take home. You American Revolution. might even try something completely For more information on either of the new this year. Ask for advice your local above, call 508-979-4085 orat visit nursery where growers are on intimate Fairhaventours.com. terms with their plants.

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BUSINESS BUZZ If you’re in search of unique items and experiences, you’ll find them around South Dartmouth. An array of small businesses situated along the picturesque waterfront of Padanaram village provide opportunities for shopping, dining, and relaxing, including boutiques, restaurants, and establishments with one-of-akind gifts and goods.

Rediscovering Padanaram By Sean McCarthy “A visit to Padanaram will have you feeling like you’re on a getaway – like you’re on vacation for a day,” says Shara Porter, proprietor of Shara Porter Designs on 338 Elm Street. “The area is so beautiful and the fact that all the stores are independently owned, mostly by women, is unique in this area. You can visit and find something that you can’t find anywhere else.” “Padanaram has become a destination for people who live in the community and there’s a lot of people who are not from the area who are hearing more about it,” says Jody Cote, General Manager of Farm & Coast Market on 7 Bridge Street. Greg Morton is the owner and chef at Morton’s Fork Catering in New Bedford. For 20 years he was the chef and owner of Bridge Street Café in Padanaram. “People can enjoy a quality dining experience in Padanaram,” Morton

says. “There’s new places to eat, and the ambiance and energy are great.” In 2019 the US Harbors website ranked Padanaram as the Best Harbor in America. This year it was selected as the Best Harbor in the Northeast. Shara Porter Designs opened in October of 2019. An artist for 16 years, Porter designs and hand prints all of her items in her New Bedford studio. She offers a variety of unisex accessories with both leather and vegan options, including bags, wallets, padded glass cases, and personalized luggage tags. She describes the items’ images as “fun, pretty, and quirky.” “People like the hunt,” she says of her store. “I have a good amount of product so there’s a lot of searching for the perfect image for yourself or someone else, something that really strikes you.”

Padanaram is chock full of shopping opportunities. Norton Framing & Gallery at 330 Elm Street is the longest standing retail business in the village. In addition to framing, you can also purchase fine art by local artists or vintage maps of the area. At 286 Elm Street, you’ll find Stephanie’s Art Works, featuring local photography and unique art. It might just be the best way to bring a piece of Padanaram back home with you! Folia is located at 354 Elm Street, and sells children’s clothing and accessories, including personalized gifts. Dhalia Living and Padanaram Outfitters are located at 321 Elm Street. Dhalia Living sells home goods and women’s clothing while Padanaram Outfitters offers upscale men’s clothing. Both businesses feature local hand-made items. If you put stock in the metaphysical, CONTINUED ON PAGE 12

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

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Strawberry Moon at 312 Elm Street offers an extensive collection of crystals, jewelry, and clothing, in addition to Tarot readings on selected days. Dartmoor Gifts is located in South Dartmouth on 201 Horseneck Road. The business offers a wide variety of unique, affordable, and functional items for home and garden with a focus on works of art by local artisans. Popular summer items range from wind chimes and bird products to jewelry and hand-blown glass balls. An online reviewer once described the store as “things you don’t need but will definitely want.” If relaxation is on your personal agenda, Salt on Elm is a highlysought spa located at 344 Elm Street that offers appointment-only services that include manicures, pedicures, skin care, body treatments, waxings, and makeup. If quarantine found you picking up a hobby or relying on one you already had, then you’ll definitely want to stop by the Knotty Knit at 302 Elm Street, where they offer yarn, crafting supplies, and expert advice for whatever project you may be working on.

FINE FOODS

Whether you’re in the mood for a full meal with friends and family or just a cool beverage or some ice cream, Padanaram can suit your desire. Describing itself as “Padanaram’s Front Porch – A place where families, friends and neighbors can gather,” Farm & Coast Market provides a bounty of edible opportunities, coming mostly from local farmers. Serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner, they feature specialty foods including pizza and bakery items via a full-service café and restaurant, as well as a deli and grocery market that include meats and cheeses. Their beverage menu ranges from coffee and smoothies to beer and wine. Farm & Coast Market also does pickup orders and catering. Padanaram offers additional quality dining thanks to Little Moss and The Black

“Padanaram has made a remarkable resurgence because people have been willing to invest in it and support it - it’s a good destination for a summer’s day.”

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

Bass Grille, two restaurants that rely largely on locally-sourced food. The Black Bass Grille at 3 Water Street boasts a surf ‘n’ turf menu that includes dinners, drinks, and desserts in a casual atmosphere. The restaurant is fit for families and groups as well as solo dining and also offers live music and outdoor seating with an onsite bar and free Wi-Fi. They also provide takeout orders. Located at 6 Bridge Street, Little Moss’ menu includes shareable plates, natural wine, and craft cocktails, served in a high-end casual setting. But Padanaram features quick foods too. People’s Pressed Juices at 242 Elm Street offers bottles of cold-pressed

juices packed with “nutritionally beneficial fruits and vegetables designed to lead to a healthier well-being.” Dockside Ice Cream, located in the Padanaram marina, provides homemade ice cream – a bevy of frosty indulgences in a variety of flavors, including frozen yogurt, frappes, floats, sundaes, and sherbet. This summer, Scuttlebutt Coffee Company will open a location in the village, with a breakfast and lunch menu that includes baked goods and espresso-based drinks. “People enjoy the charms and quaintness of the village itself, which dates back to the whaling days,” says Anne Whiting, who opened Anne Whiting Real Estate at 250 Elm Street in 1995. “We’re only 10 minutes away from the historical district of New Bedford, so people may want to split a day up to visit both Padanaram and New Bedford with it’s waterfront and working fishing boats.” When Farm & Coast Market opened five years ago this July it helped initiate the area’s revival. “We opened at a time when the area was largely shut down, there were very few retail businesses,” Cote says. “It’s vibrant and alive now, many stores and shops have opened. There’s a lot of things to do down here. People enjoy it. It’s worth the trip.” “You’re really making a difference by shopping local,” Porter says. “In this day and age it’s really nice to support small businesses. You can go somewhere and meet the person who made the item you’re interested in.” “Padanaram is attractive to people who are interested in moving to the area – there’s easy access to Martha’s Vineyard, Newport, and Providence,” Whiting says. “Padanaram has made a remarkable resurgence because people have been willing to invest in it and support it,” Morton says. “It’s really worth a visit and a walk through. It’s a good destination for a summer’s day.”

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IT’S ALWAYS AN ADVENTURE at Roger Williams Park Zoo

HELLO SUMMER! Trying to plan the perfect trip? Make fun memories with a wild visit to Roger Williams Park Zoo & Carousel Village for tons of family fun for all ages. Home to more than 160 species, discover animals from all over the globe. Mingle with free-roaming tropical

birds, sloths, and monkeys in the Zoo’s spectacular Faces of the Rainforest habitat. Step into the wilds of Africa

and watch African elephants and Masai giraffes’ roam. Retrace the path of Marco Polo and encounter red pandas, moon bears and snow leopards. Or cozy up to goats and sheep at the popular Alex and Ani Farmyard. For nearly 150 years, the Zoo has connected people

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

with wildlife to inspire a love and appreciation for the environment and its animals. Each time you visit the Zoo you help support their mission of conserving wildlife and wild places and contribute to conservation initiatives locally and across the globe. In addition to the zoo, Roger

For something a little out of the ordinary, do not miss the Explore & Soar area, where you'll find the Woodlands Express train, and for the slightly more adventurous, the Soaring Eagle Zip Ride. Soar 115 feet above the Zoo for breathtaking views overlooking Providence and into Narragansett Bay.

Williams Park is home to Carousel Village, featuring a historic carousel and the Carousel Express train. Carousel Village also hosts Food Truck Fridays, happening now through September 24, with live musical entertainment and trucks serving up tasty treats, including tacos, grilled cheese, Korean barbecue and more. The Zoo is open daily 9am until 4pm. Learn more and plan your adventure today at rwpzoo.org.

NEW THIS SUMMER! Meet Elsa, the American alligator. This beautiful lady has made her home in the Zoo’s newest exhibit, Shades of Nature. As an albino alligator, she lacks melanin, a pigment that provides color to animals and people. Visit her and more reptile friends in their new habitat open daily through Labor Day.

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July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

COVER STORY

by Carissa Wills-DeMello

Is there anything that embodies summer more than multicolored blossoms unfolding in the sunshine? For gardeners and herbalists, we wait for this eye candy all year long. It’s the time of year when we get to reap the beauty of what we sow. The harvest of fresh garden veggies is delicious, but flowers? Pure bliss!

t’s the copper-colored poppies, radiant lavender, and magnificent mullein that we’re all really waiting for. There’s something about the ephemeral nature of the flowers that captivate our spirit and beg the question: how can we preserve this beauty for year-round enjoyment? Here are a few time-worn practices for the herbalist in all of us.

Flower Essence

A flower essence is a water-based infusion which is said to capture the energetic imprint of a flower. Anyone who has inhaled the aroma of a flower knows that each is different. Some calm you instantly. Some inspire. Some give us strength or joy. A flower essence then captures these unique characteristics, so that we can benefit year-round from the emotional and spiritual support flowers offer. There are endless resources online to help you choose which flower essence is best for you. They can be used internally like a tincture, or externally as a mist. Easy-to-find flowers that make beautiful essences include: Mimosa, Goldenrod, Mullein, Motherwort, and Honeysuckle.

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

✿ Fill a bowl with clean spring water. ✿ Pick a sunny morning to harvest. Choose which flowers

you’ll be working with and take a moment to sit with them in gratitude – they will be creating herbal medicine for you, after all!

✿ Harvest your flowers directly into your bowl – hold each

blossom with a tweezer, clip at its base, and let it drop into your bowl.

✿ Cover the surface of the water with a layer of flowers. ✿ To “infuse” your essence, place your bowl in the sunlight for 3-4 hours or in the moonlight overnight.

✿ After infusing, pour your essence through a mesh strainer into a clean glass jar with alcohol or distilled white vinegar, at a 50:50 dilution. Label the bottle.

✿ You now have a preserved “mother essence” – this is to be

diluted, not taken directly. To make a “stock essence,” add 10 drops of the mother essence to a 60 mL bottle filled with 50:50

spring water and alcohol or vinegar. To make a dosage bottle, add one drop of essence from the stock bottle to a 15 mL bottle filled with 50:50 water and alcohol or vinegar.

Better Quality. Better Taste. For Over 35 Years.

Sun Tea

One of the simplest ways to work with the magic of flowers is tea. In the summer, we can harness the power of the sun for a light and nourishing brew! Simply pick whichever flowers you like, adding them to a pint or quart sized jar. There is no “right” amount to harvest – the more flowers, the stronger the tea. Once you’re done harvesting, fill your jar with room temp water. Cap it, and set it in the sun to steep. You can steep your tea on a windowsill, picnic table, or right in your garden for added whimsy! Some favorite sun tea blossoms are: lemon balm, elder, chamomile, anise hyssop, bergamont, and any mint. Steep your sun tea for a few hours, pouring it through a strainer when you’re ready to sip. Enjoy it over ice, or as-is at that perfect sun-soaked temperature.

Steep your sun tea for a few hours, pouring it through a strainer when you’re ready to sip. Enjoy it over ice, or as-is at that perfect sun-soaked temperature

Solar Oil

Many flowers have the power of soothing and healing our delicate skin. They contain compounds like resins, polysaccharides, tannins, and more that preserve skin integrity, heal wounds, and ease inflammation. Much like sun tea, a solar-infused oil is a way to ally with the summer sun to create healing remedies. And guess what? The process is just as easy! Simply harvest your favorite flowers (you might choose them for scent, healing properties, or both) and let them wilt briefly in a shady, airy space. This allows excess water to evaporate, which could spoil your oil. Some wonderful blooms to start with are calendula, beach rose, lavender, yarrow, and St. John’s Wort. Place your herbs in a clean, dry, glass mason jar. Fill that jar with enough oil to cover the herbs completely. The oil is your choice, depending on price and feel. Jojoba oil is light but expensive. Olive oil is affordable and rich. Sunflower seed oil is an affordable and light alternative. Next, tightly cap your jar and let it soak in the sun for at least a month. When your oil is ready, pour it through cheesecloth into a jar for storage. That’s it! Your oil is ready for use immediately, or you can combine it with beeswax to make an herbal salve. Wondering about the properties of various herbs? Do you have a burning question about carrier oils? Reach out to Carissa carissa@townfarmtonics.com with your herbal questions!

Choose flowers for their scent, healing properties, or both, to make your solar oil

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THINGS TO DO

Peachy keen By Brian J. Lowney

Most folks who live along the South Coast know that July is peach season – a time to savor plump juicy fruit that explodes in your mouth, runs down your chin, and covers your clothes with sweet nectar. Whether you want to snack on a luscious tree-ripened fresh peach or to use the sweet fruit to make a delicious pie, salad, jam, or other summer treat, the region boasts an abundance of delightful orchards where visitors of all ages can enjoy the bounty of summer fruits and vegetables. At Dartmouth Orchards in Dartmouth, farm owner Brian Medeiros has been busy preparing for what he hopes will be a busy season. “We have been growing peaches all of our lives – for more than 80 years,” Medeiros reveals. “Last year we got hit with a freeze and we lost most of our peach crop,” he lamented, adding that this year, he is hoping to avoid weather conditions, including hail storms and hurricanes, which can wreak havoc on the peach crop. “A lot can happen,” the lifelong farmer continues. “You have to do a lot of praying.” According to Medeiros, his large farm grows 18 varieties of peaches. Some customers prefer yellow peaches while others prefer white-fleshed varieties. “Peach season starts about the third

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

week in July and ends about late September,” he says. “People love my peaches and some customers come every day to buy them.” Medeiros shares that growing peaches is laborious and requires constant dedication. “Our work starts in January with pruning and fixing all the equipment,” he emphasizes. “We monitor disease control. Our work never ends. The trees need constant upkeep.”

It takes several years to grow fruit. It’s an investment of the heart The farmer shares that many local farms in the area have been sold to housing developments. “There aren’t many people growing fruit,”

Medeiros adds. “It’s a lost art. It takes several years to grow fruit. It’s an investment of the heart.” The busy farmer shares that he is most satisfied when visitors stop at the farm stand, purchase a box of peaches, bite into a piece of the delicious fruit, and the juice lands all over the floor. “When the juice runs down their legs, I know that I did my job,” Medeiros chuckles. Medeiros shares that one of his favorite and most simple summer recipes is to slice fresh garden tomatoes and fresh summer peaches. Layer the thin slices together, gently sprinkle with fresh basil, add some feta and sprinkle with some balsamic vinegar. “You want to taste the peaches and tomatoes,” he says. “This a delicious summer treat. Enjoy.” For more information about the availability of fresh peaches, call Dartmouth Orchards at (508) 992-9337, or visit the stand on Facebook.

Aren’t you a peach?

At Noquochoke Orchards in Westport, six generations of the Smith family have been growing peaches and the family

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1955 on the historicPeach wharf that dates Noquochoke Muffins toThe the AARP 1700s,® isn’t all about summer. Massachusetts Auto Insurance Program from Plymouth Rock Assurance. Ingredients: Last year they served up a feast of turkey, 1/2 cup butter or margarine roast prime rib, sausage stuffing, and 2 cups flour more. The restaurant currently offers 1 1/4 cups sugar including some ovdine-in and takeout, 2 eggs Stafford & Company Insurance en-ready dishes like seafood casserole and stuffed 1/2 cup lobster. milk The AARP Massachusetts Auto Insurance Program from 2 teaspoons baking powder Plymouth Rock offers AARP members in Massachusetts special 1/2 teaspoon salt White’s of Westport savings in addition to the everyday benefits that set Plymouth 2 cups peeled, diced fresh peaches 66 State Road, Westport Rock apart from its competition. With Plymouth Rock, lower 508-675-7185 Coating and topping: 4 teaspoon rates are just the beginning. shop.lafrancehospitality.com sugar, 1 teaspoon cinnamon More Than Just Insurance. Plymouth Rock Assurance®. White’s has been offering family-style Directions: takeout and curbside meals pickup for Cream butter and sugar, add eggs E S T. 1 9 0 0 months, so when Turkey Day comes until well blended, then add milk. Stir around, it’s a good bet they’ll have a hanin dry ingredients. Coat half of the dle (or afor drumstick) on that too. Callrather today a free, peaches with the topping mixture. Pork • Meat • Chourico • Chicken Currently, the restaurant is offering meal no obligation Save the remaining mixture to sprinkle Buffalo Chicken • Chili • Salmon packages and platters like its “Taste of autobatter insurance quote: over in muffin tins before Also try Stuffed Quahogs and Desserts New England” that comes with chowbaking. Foldand fruit intocakes the batter. der, quahogs clam or itsPut Italian HOURS: Mon-Fri 7am-5pm, Sat 7am-3pm in508-673-5893 greased muffin pans (grease top and package of salad, lasagna, meatballs 1000 North Main St. of pan also)Both or use paper liners (also breadsticks. meals serve six. AlsoMA 02720 1729 South Main St. Fall River, grease the top of pans). Bake at 350 Fall River, MA available are dinner-for-two meal packs 508-673-5893 degrees F for 20-25 minutes. Makes like fish and chips, lobster rolls, bourbon 12 tips, large muffins or small muffins. beef kid-sized pasta andis required for Program eligibility. Applicants are individually underwritten and some may not qualify Actual coverage isand subject toeven the language of 18 the policy as issued. AARP membership for auto insurance from Plymouth Rock based on driving history or other factors. Premiums will be based on verified information andFacebook.com/ the coverage choices and policy options that you select. Plymouth Rock paysfor royaltytwo. fees to AARP for the use of its intellectual property. These fees are used for the general purposes of AARP. AARP does not employ or endorse agents, producers meatballs With more than 60 or brokers. AARP and its affiliates are not insurers. HartleysOriginalPorkpiesFallRiver farm celebrates its 122nd anniversary in years in the hospitality industry, White’s November. is accustomed to cooking for a crowd. The award-winning orchard sells 16 varieties of peaches, as well as apples, Delicious Custom Cakes, Cupcakes and Desserts pears, plums, nectarines, quince, blueberries, and a variety of fresh vegetables, including Macomber turnips, a staple at Quality Resale for the Whole Family many Thanksgiving dinners. First you’ll need to concoct cinnamon “We have early, middle, and late Schedule your syrup. Mix ½ cupSusan sugar,“Grandma ½ cup water, peaches,” shares Sue” and a three-inch cinnamon stick in a ESTATE PLANNING * farm Smith, who owns the 92-acre family small Bring George. it just to a boil, turn off with herpan. husband check-up today! * Excludes gift certificates, expires 10/ 31/ 20 the heat and let cool. Remove the “Our peaches areitalways fresh-picked 624 Brayton Avenue • Fall River, MA 270 Huttleston Ave. (Rt. 6)it to cinnamon stick and discard use 265 Walnut Plain Road and are all-natural,” the familyor matriarch 508-679-0535 Rochester, MA Fairhaven, MA • 508-991-2229 garnish the cocktail if you like. The syradds, sharing that she prefers the white www.janesullivanlaw.com — Call or visit Facebook for weekly hours — up will last for three weeks in the fridge. variety, which she thinks are “sweeter.” 508-763-4905 artisanbakeshop.com To make the cocktail, fill a shakSmith says that with four children, seven er halfway with ice. Combine ¼ cup grandchildren, and several great-grandpumpkin puree with three ounces children, there are always enough workers bourbon, two ounces maple syrup, ¼ to help at the busy farm, which attracts ounce cinnamon syrup, one ounce orlegions of visitors from throughout the ange liqueur, and two region and beyond. dashes orange bit“People almost cry when we tell them ters. Shake well. that we don’t have any more peaches,” Fill two old fash154 Huttleston Ave., Rt.of6the she shares, adding that as a result ioned glasses with pandemic, Fairhaven many people are canning and , MA ice, pour in the freezing fruits and vegetables more than strained cocktail Monday - closed • Tue-Thu 11:30am-9pm in whatafindfairhaven.com previous years. Fri-Sat 11:30am-9:45pm • Sun 12-9pm and garnish with a For more information about Noquochoke twist of orange peel 177 Columbia St. • Fall River, MA Hours: Wed., Thu., Sat. 10-5:30or • Fri. Orchards, call (508) 636-2237 visit11-7 the and a Sun. cherry. 1-4 • Closed Mon. & Tue. (508) 675-7018 orchards on Facebook.

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THINGS TO DO

Unplugged but reconnecting by Peter O’Neill

Last autumn, to help overcome our Covid ennui and empty-nesting grief (our only child having just fled to Colby College) my wife and I eagerly searched for diverse walking trails in the picturesque coastal region around our home in Barrington. Whose footsteps were better to follow in a pandemic, we thought, than those of our regional ambler Henry David Thoreau, America’s first famous social distancer? While our mentor fled to the woods to escape the metaphorical pandemic of industrialized busyness, we sought the sylvan solace from a real and mounting pandemic. Early on in Walden, Thoreau explains why he went into the woods: “I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear.” “Not life,” for Thoreau, meant an inauthentic, soulless existence. Thoreau was not enthusiastic about the telegraph, railroads, or the proliferation of newspapers. All of this “progress” and haste blunted our powers of discrimination and ultimately our sense of self, he believed. Ideally, my wife and I, in our extended sojourns into the woods, discovered similar insights. Our first stop was Fort Barton Woods in Tiverton. After one of our marathon matches, a tennis friend who lives nearby

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

The Dundery Brook Trail in Little Compton

had introduced me to this hiking trail in the autumn, when most of the paths were covered in crisp leaves. Though the layered leaves look pleasantly aesthetic at first, a newcomer must tread carefully, for beneath these leafy lanes lie many sharp, jutting rocks and pesky protruding roots. In fact, it was on one of these obstinate roots where the middle of my worn tennis sole landed, when I chased my friend that day after he jauntily burst into a run. I sense this misstep caused a nagging ankle injury for a few months. Thus, if you trek across Fort Barton’s sinuous paths during the fall, be sure to wear stable, well-cushioned trail shoes to avoid any

foot or knee injuries. In short, saunter, don’t sprint. When I took my wife for her debut at Fort Barton a few weeks later, it was even deeper into autumn. The trails had taken on a distinctly sublime character. At the beginning of the trail, you descend steep steps into what seems like the womb of the earth, re-emerging later as if you had undergone a native Pocasset adolescent’s rite of passage. While I was still wary of furtive rocks and stubborn roots afoot, my wife more buoyantly gazed at the tall, sentinel oaks, birches, and hickory trees that lord over the park. The abundant, commanding trees create

more darkness, especially during shorter days – this adds to the trails’ sublime atmosphere. Thus, another helpful hint: if you go for the first time to Fort Barton during the shorter days of autumn, be sure to consult your trail map or the AllTrails App on your phone. Time your walk well. Speaking of cell phone apps, staying mostly unconnected during our hiking adventures allowed my wife and me to recapture what the critic Michael Harris calls the “daydreaming silences” that once filled our lives before the relentless disruption of the Internet and other forms of constant connectivity. In his excellent study The End of Absence, Harris eloquently asks whether or not it is worth having our days filled with pings, emails, and other rude intrusions: “As we embrace a technology’s gifts we usually fail to consider what they ask from us in return – the subtle hardly noticeable payments we make in exchange for the marvellous service. We don’t notice, for example, that the gap in our schedules have disappeared because we’re too busy delighting in the amusements that fill them. We forget the games that childhood boredom forged because boredom itself has been outlawed. Why would we bother to register the end of solitude, of ignorance, of lack? Why would we care that absence has disappeared?” As my wife and I moved on to our next walking tour, I realized that what Harris describes here mirrors Thoreau’s version of “not life” in Walden. Soon, at Dundery Brook Trail in Little Compton, we would relish the mostly unplugged pleasures of absence. For the most part, each park or trail has its own identity. Just as Fort Barton has a brooding, cathedral-like mood, Dundery Brook embodies a lighter, picturesque aesthetic. Upon first stepping on the extensive boardwalk that ultimately leads to an open

meadow, I felt like a corduroyed flaneur of wonderful wetlands views. There are even small observation nooks for visitors and ambitious school children to carry out enlightening fieldwork. Though my wife and I walked together at first, I soon lagged behind, snapping select photos with my cell phone and sending them to my brother or daughter to document my arrival as a budding naturalist. After a while, I realized my vanity and lingering dependence on my cell phone. I then zipped it away in my field coat and concentrated on truly looking at the landscape around me with my own eyes. By then, my wife was ahead and out of sight – I felt abandoned but wallowed in my sweet solitude. Thoreau would be proud. As I panned over small, intertwining pathways, just off the boardwalk, I heard a rustling and descried the eyes of a white-tail deer. The deer stayed frozen in place for a while. It was a privileged moment; when hiking on trails in the autumn and winter in this region, one rarely sees any wildlife at all. Deer are mystical to me. Instead of hearing deer hunters’ gunshots on private land adjacent to Fort Barton, I savored observing the supple shape and ginger steps of one in the forest wetlands. No doubt, this is what Thoreau meant by real life. Lived life. Had I been texting my brother at that moment, I would not have experienced this special sighting. It was an unplugged revelation. As the Victorian critic John Ruskin observes, “To see clearly is poetry, prophecy, and religion all in one.” I caught up to my wife, who had reached the glorious meadow pond at the end of the boardwalk. I told her about my transformative moment with deer. She quipped, “Well, let’s take a selfie in front of the pond to celebrate it then.” I acquiesced. Clearly, we still had some work to do to wean ourselves off of these intrusive devices.

Upon first stepping on the extensive boardwalk that ultimately leads to an open meadow, I felt like a corduroyed flaneur of wonderful wetlands views

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COVER STORY

Post-pandemic healthcare By Elizabeth Morse Read

We’ve all just emerged from fifteen months of enforced hibernation, an incredibly stressful period of isolation, lockdowns, and serious disruptions of everyday routines, leaving people cut off from family, friends, and familiar faces. Many people were so afraid of catching the Covid-19 virus by going to a doctor’s office, urgent care center, or hospital that they waited until they were literally dying before they would seek medical help. It will take years to recover from that sudden gap in medical care, both personal and institutional. Sixty percent of Americans have at least one chronic disease, and 25% have two or more, all of which require regular monitoring. So delayed health care during the pandemic has resulted in worsening

chronic diseases and missed opportunities for early detection of new diseases. During the worst months of the pandemic, many Americans ignored or just endured warning symptoms of serious

NOT JUST FOR GLASSES ANYMORE Most people think that going to the eye doctor is just for getting a new prescription for glasses or contact lenses. However, if you have any chronic medical condition or you wear glasses or contact lenses, you need to schedule an annual appointment with an eye doctor. Regular dilated eye exams with an ophthalmologist (not an optician or a work/ school nurse) are not just a test for visual acuity – eye exams not only detect early signs of eye-related health problems like glaucoma or cataracts, but can also detect early symptoms of non-vision-related disorders like high blood pressure, Alzheimer’s disease, arteriosclerosis, diabetes, metastatic cancer, herpes, lupus, and even Crohn’s disease. They provide the eye doctor with a window into your overall health, not just your vision.

disease – chest pain, severe headaches, numbness – all because they were terrified of catching Covid-19 in a doctor’s waiting room. As a result, deaths caused by chronic conditions like heart disease, stroke and diabetes increased, even though visits to the emergency rooms for those conditions were noticeably down. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), by June of last year, emergency room visits for heart attacks had dropped 23%; for strokes, 20%; and for uncontrolled high blood sugar, 10%. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that the states hit hardest by Covid-19 deaths in March and April 2020 (e.g., Massachusetts and New York) also reported a huge spike in deaths caused by chronic CONTINUED ON PAGE 24

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

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diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s. New York City alone, the epicenter of the pandemic in the US, saw an almost 400% increase in heart disease deaths and a more than 350% increase in diabetes-related deaths compared to the same time period a year earlier.

The dangers of delayed medical care

When the Covid-19 public health crisis was declared in mid-March of 2020, preventive health care visits, tests, procedures, and non-emergency surgeries were abruptly put on hold. At-risk people skipped comprehensive eye exams [see sidebar], visits to the podiatrist, dental cleanings, prenatal exams, blood pressure checks as well as crucial blood and urine tests. By mid-April 2020, vaccinations had dropped by nearly 60%, mammograms fell by 77%, and colonoscopies declined by 88%. And although these numbers have slowly improved over time, the long-term effects of delayed health care will ripple outward for years to come. Primary care doctors, pediatricians, dentists, and mental health care practitioners saw their practices turned upside down by a tsunami of cancelled appointments and the chaos of developing alternative telehealth procedures. Hospitals were so overwhelmed with treating Covid patients that they performed only life-or-death/ emergency surgeries, indefinitely postponing any surgery or procedure deemed to be “elective.” This resulted in deteriorating quality of life for people suffering from painful or disfiguring – but not life-threatening – medical conditions (e.g., endometriosis, arthritis, burn scars), and an increase in patients showing more advanced chronic diseases and disorders that had not been managed at an earlier stage.

The ultimate “cabin fever”

When the country went into lockdown last year, many Americans either lost their jobs or suddenly had to work from home. Schools and day-care centers closed, so many parents had to homeschool their children, all while worrying about the welfare of their elderly relatives. Everyone was stressed to the max, binge-watching

PUT YOUR BEST FEET FORWARD Nothing can ruin your day faster than foot pain, whether it’s caused by an injury or a broken bone, by poorly-fit shoes, or by an assortment of ailments like corns, bunions, ingrown toenails, plantar warts, or fungal infections. Athletes (especially runners), people who are literally “on their feet” all day, and anyone suffering from diabetes, vascular disease, or neuropathy (tingling or numbness) needs to schedule regular visits with a podiatrist. Podiatrists can perform minor procedures in the office, prescribe medications, fit you for corrective shoes or inserts and even schedule you for surgery at a nearby hospital.

TV, binge-eating unhealthy foods, binge-shopping online, and unable to play outdoors or exercise at the gym. People drank too much, smoked too much, and took out their frustrations and anxiety on other family members, like mice in an overcrowded cage. In one survey of primary care providers last year, 31% found increased addictions among their patients, and 37% reported noticeable deterioration in patients with chronic health conditions like diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and obesity. So, when people started going back to their dentists and primary care doctors this year, they presented with increased tooth decay and gum disease, as well as complaints of neck and back pain due to sitting too much or from using a bed, kitchen counter, or couch as a workstation.

The shadow epidemic

In that 2020 survey of primary care providers, more than 80% also reported worsening mental health among their patients, including a spike in domestic violence and child abuse/neglect. According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), patient

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the region’s coastal charms. Their When asked her favorite part of the Booknew Fair, property was a former tomato farm, perBaker-Smith replies, “The fifteen minutes the chilfect forto supporting thebefore couple’s new hobdren get pick out books the opening visits to doctors and health care clinics by: raising chickens. whistle.” (The official start of the Book Fair begins have gradually started to rebound, but for them, they had a knack atFortunately 11 a.m.health but children are allowed into the bookto mental services have been slow for it. Before too long, the Bishops had tent at 10:45 forto exclusive browsing time.) bounce back pre-pandemic levels. more eggs than they children knew what to do “it’s wonderful to this watch being Unfortunately, coincided withfascinated with. They began selling the surplus, and bycrisis books,” continues Baker-Smith, a nationwide in mental“going healthdown learning about how to expand the farm in the rabbit hole of a story, sitting down on the problems brought onand by the anxiety, a healthy and sustainable way. grass to read in an age where everyoneupheaval is looking stress, isolation, and the overall To give a sense of how successful this at screens.” caused by the pandemic. In particular, expansion has been, the farm’s chicken those who were in treatment or recovery After so many decades, it is understandable population has ballooned from the origifrom substance abusethe were suddenly left that many stories surround Westport Friends nal 20 to over 3000. out inFair. theit cold, resulting inthe anearly increase in Book is rumored that, in years, one While her husband has kept his IT job, drug-related deaths. Calls to domestic book-browser discovered a first edition of Moby Ester has been able to commit herself to abuse hotlines increased by almost Dick which he bought for fifty-cents. The next year the farm full-time. She prides herself on 10% and counseling surged he sheepishly returned to make donation to the providingtelehealth her animals withajoyful, stress2,700% between March October Westport Friends telling them and heknow sold the book for free lives. “People should where 2020, but still did not offset “a lot offood money.” their comes from – youthe candecline really in pre-pandemic mental health service The Book Fair is also full ofsaid traditions, including taste the difference,” Bishop. appointments. the honorary “Blowing of the Whistle” to signal the In addition, with schools and day-care official opening of the book sale. Green acres centers closed, the number ofsays emergency “it is a great honor to be chosen,” GregorBishop’s commitment to “beyond room visits to favorite child abuse/neglect Marsello, citingrelated thisextends as his part of the Fair. ganic” farming beyond cuddles decreased more thanthe 50% during and words of affirmation to her livestock. For GretchenbyBaker-Smith, annual night-bethe pandemic 2019 – but She ensures“Chopping allcompared the animals are provided fore-book-sale of thetoTabbouleh” is one the percentage of such visits resulting with organicThe meals, and that of herhealthy, fondest traditions. tabbouleh, a typetheir of in hospitalization increased. The loss of waste is repurposed as manure. Lebanese salad, is sold to the public in a flatbread social supports greatly heightened “You canyear see green grass is wrap every onhow opening daythe (along withthe other risk of child abuse and neglect, especially where the turkeys have been,” Bishop light luncheon items, beverages and snacks). as“itchildren lost contact withfertilize says. “That’s because they takes a small army of people to“mandated chop thethe salad reporters” (teachers, doctors, and social soil with their manure. Manure is the every year,” says Baker-Smith. “But people have workers) who would have intervened. basis organic fertilizers. no come toofexpect it.” over the years,There many are customers chemicals added, or needed, when the have expressed their relief Baker-Smith, saying On the to torecovery animals doroad their job.” was soyour afraid [the tabbouleh] wouldn’t be here.” “iStart by Speaking post-pandemic of animals doingrecovery their jobs, “Probably my favorite part of the Annual Book scheduling comprehensive physical Bishop has aconscripted her goats and Fair,” says Deanna “is Saturday evening after exam with yourChase, primary care health pigs into clearing away swaths of underthe huge, long day” (volunteers arrive about 7 a.m. provider Bring up any“gnarly new health brush onASAP. the property – the vines” to help set up) “when we finally have time to just concerns, both physical and emotional, that give the farm its name. sit under the tent and reflect back on the day, relaxthat developed while you were Gnarly Vines coordinates withavoiding neighing with farms friends.” contact with medical facilities last boring to provide its customers The Fifty-Fourth Westport Friends’ Book Fair offiyear, headaches, weight gain, or with alike variety of sustainable and organic cially opens at 11 a.m. on July 11, rain or shine. anxiety. Follow through on your doctor’s products. Angus beef, for instance, willThe sale will continue through Sunday, July 19 and recommendations for diagnostic tests, sell out almost as soon as it comes intowill be open from “dawncancer to dusk.” immunizations, screening stock. The six-for-a-dollar books may be purprocedures, and consultations with other But the farm is paperback not bound by terrestrial chased starting at 10 a.m.And on have the opening dayyour and medical specialists. re-establish limitations: the Bishops partnered the children’s bookappointments sectionand opens exclusively for pre-pandemic with other with Captain’s Finest Sakonnet kids at 10:45 a.m. Book prices range from one dolhealth care providers –seafood your dentist, physiLobster to bring fresh to market. lar to five dollars a book, with the average cost beBishop is particularly proud ofpodiatrist a new inical therapist, ophthalmologist, ing $1.50. lunch, snacks, andcounselor, beverages will tiative atLight the farm: food security commu[see sidebar], mental health or be sold on the opening day of the sale. plans. nity supported agriculture (CSA) dermatologist. Telehealth consultations CSAs, popular farms if you yetamong experienced thisnationcelebration will stillhaven’t be available post-pandemic with wide, allow customers toneed pre-purchase of books and community, you Bring some providers, but there’s noto.substitute “shares” farm’s produce, which are yourin-person, familyof to the theface-to-face Westport Friends Book Fair and for medical exams start your own summer tradition. you won’t be and tests.

13 25 17

ON MY MIND

Airport annoyances By Paul Kandarian

A disclaimer: don’t take any of this seriously, I’m just having fun. Sometimes I do this and people think I’m really irked. I’m no more than 17.6% irked many times, but 110% bemused always. In the world of airports and airplanes, the grossest thing is not the TSA used rubber glove bin, it’s the bathrooms. A couple things about them… okay, one thing: ew! The men’s rooms floors within a 100-foot radius of airport bathroom urinals are like flypaper. Seriously sticky. I mean it’s so bad that instead of going in with my bag and chancing leaving it on the floor to stick to the yellow Superglue, I leave it in the seating area and take a shot at peeing faster than a passenger/self-appointed air marshal who insists on seeing and saying something can call the bomb squad to check out my unattended luggage.

I know the floors are gross mainly for the reason that my shoes make sounds like wet Velcro when I walk in there, but also because the number one rule for being in any men’s room anywhere is: never look up for fear of making eye contact I know the floors are gross mainly for the reason that my shoes make sounds like wet Velcro when I walk in there, but also because the number one rule for being in any men’s room anywhere is: never look up for fear of making eye contact. It’s not uncommon to see a gaggle of nervous men bumping into the wall like travel-weary blind people trying to find their way out. Tragic and weird, but true. And even worse than the loo in the airport is the one in the

July 2021 | The South Coast Insider

plane, which cannot be called a “bathroom” because it has the word “room” in it. Now I know they’re not supposed to be Taj toilets but do they have to be Barbie bathrooms? I have giant hands (and that’s on my dad, God love him, but he had meat socks for hands), so the sink on my flight home recently was so small it was more of a fingerbowl. And if the plane hits the most minor turbulence, you’re gonna get a concussion when your head pinballs off the walls, which are a foot apart. And to get back to gross floors, for the love of God, people, can you not tinkle on the floor in there? And by “people,” I obviously mean “men,” because if it includes women, double ew. Now, I understand that most men go number one like we’re lions

spraying our turf, but c’mon lads, give the rest of the pride a break, will you? No one wants to be dragging their shoelaces through the collective sticky smear of untold numbers of guys with bad aim and worse manners. Think about that the next time you tie your shoes and maybe then when you’re in the men’s loo, you’ll take literal aim at the bowl and not just hose down the floor like it’s a California wildfire and you’re John Wayne in “Hellfighters.”

I firmly believe that taking your shoes off in a plane other than to exit down the slide in the event of a water landing should be a crime punishable by death, or worse In a related development, feet are gross. Human feet, that is. Bare human feet. Gross. I don’t know what’s happened to air travel since those mystical nostalgic days of long ago when passengers didn’t dress like contestants at a mile-high WalMart shopper fashion show, but the new era involves baring your stanky tootsies in front of people who’d rather you did not. I firmly believe that taking your shoes off in a plane other than to exit down the slide in the event of a water landing – a successful water landing which never happens unless Sully is flying – should be a crime punishable by death, or worse, by being forced to clean men’s rooms in airports with tissue paper and no gloves. On my very crowded flight recently, I was amazed and disturbed by a woman sitting in the middle seat between me on the aisle and a guy by the window, who pulled her carryon out from the seat in front of her, took her shoes off and planted her bare dogs right on it, which was large enough to elevate her feet within potentially lethal smelling distance. I should note this was the first time since spring of 2020, and likely the last, that I was thrilled to be wearing a mask. And, I suspect, so was the guy in the window seat. And oh, it gets worse: after my damnably keen peripheral vision treated me to the sight of her wiggly toes tapping in tune to whatever was playing in her headphones, she rubbed said bare feet with her hands for a few moments before eating raisins from said hands. At least I pray to God they were raisins. Now, if you know me, you know when it comes to “fashion sense,” I can barely spell it. But when I travel, I wear nice pants or jeans, a long-sleeve button-down shirt or solid-color clean t-shirt and a stylish blazer, and of course, shoes, because to quote the late, swarthy Fernando Lamas, “It is better to look good than to feel good.” And men’s room floors in airports and planes and someone’s ugly stinky nasty bare hooves next to me? It must be stopped. I’m putting my foot down. Which, of course, will always be in a shoe.

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The South Coast Insider - July 2021

Articles inside

Post-pandemic healthcare

Flower powers

Peachy keen

Unplugged by reconnecting