The South Coast Insider - June 2017

June 2017

Vol. 21 / No. 6

coastalmags.com

Clear skies ahead!

Bites of summer Sunshine celebrations Blissful boating Staying safe

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From the publisher

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32

Dateline: South Coast

by Elizabeth Morse Read

COVER STORY

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24

Shake up Father’s Day

by Jay Pateakos

A day on the water

by Greg Jones

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Proven home improvers

by Jay Pateakos

ON MY MIND

38 Into the woods

by Paul Kandarian

Safety is no accident

by Elizabeth Morse Read

THINGS TO DO

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JUNE 2017

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June: Just a perfect month!

by MICHAEL j. VIEIRA

by Michael J. Vieira Touring the summer

by DAN LOGAN

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Sounds by the shore

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New Bedford Folk Festival returns

ON THE COVER JUNE 29, 2017

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

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FROM THE PUBLISHER June 2017 | Vol. 21 | No. 6

It’s June on the South Coast and things are heating up!

By now you’ve stuffed away those puffy jackets and broken out the shorts. You’ve stowed away the shovel and refilled the propane tank for the outdoor grill. You’ve turned the page on your calendar and are planning ahead for cookouts, campfires, and beach trips. Welcome to summer!

For many of us, summer doesn’t officially start until after we’ve enjoyed our favorite summer food. That might be some fresh fried seafood by the water, or a scoop of ice cream at sunset. Whatever the food, whatever the setting, you will want to check out Mike Vieira’s article on page 6.

Summer is more than a season – it’s a state of mind. If you want to do more than just go to the beach or sit on your porch, take some of Dan Logan’s suggestions on page 10. Don’t forget: enjoying the summer doesn’t mean that you have to abandon air conditioning.

Summer also lends a sense of freedom. This year, unleash yourself from the land and head for the water. After all, we’re the South Coast for a reason! Whether you like fishing, sailing, or just cruising around, Greg Jones has all your aqua-faring needs covered on page 16.

Things really pick up around this time of year, so plan ahead with a look at our upcoming events list starting on page 32. Whatever you’re in the mood for, the South Coast has a way of providing it. Get out there and make this summer yours!

Published by Coastal Communications Corp.

Publisher and Editor-in-Chief Ljiljana Vasiljevic Editor Sebastian Clarkin Online Editor Paul Letendre Contributors Greg Jones, Paul Kandarian, Dan Logan, Tom Lopes, Jay Pateakos, Elizabeth Morse Read, Michael J. Vieira The South Coast Insider is published monthly for visitors and residents of the South Coast area.

The Insider is distributed free of charge from Mount Hope Bay to Buzzards Bay. All contents copyright ©2017 Coastal Communications Corp.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, by any means, without written permission from the Publisher. All information contained herein is believed to be reliable. Coastal Communications Corp. does not assume any financial responsibility for typographical errors in advertisements, but will reprint that portion of an advertisement in which the typographical error occurs.

Deadline 20 days prior to publication.

Circulation 30,000 Subscriptions $39 per year

Ljiljana Vasiljevic Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

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P.O. Box 349 Fall River, MA 02722 Phone (508) 677-3000 Website www.coastalmags.com E-mail editor@coastalmags.com Our advertisers make this publication possible— please support them.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

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THINGS TO DO

Quito’s lobster roll.

Summer sensations

By Michael J. Vieira

June is a funny month. It’s neither spring nor “real” summer, although the season technically begins on the twenty-first. he days don’t usually sizzle, but after the rainy days of spring, the first really warm days are greeted with a special joy.

“What is one to say about June, the time of perfect young summer, the fulfillment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade,” Gertrude Jekyll wrote.

Jekyll was a horticulturalist who created more than 400 gardens in the United Kingdom, Europe, and the United States, and wrote more than 1,000 articles.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

Wikipedia makes no mention about a relationship to Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

But what she said about June is true. Like Jekyll and Hyde, it’s a little cruel and a little kind – but somehow perfect. It’s early enough in the season to appreciate the sun, the green grass, the flowers, but not yet too hot and humid to hide in the air conditioning.

So, while you can, enjoy the perfection of June with these South Coast traditions.

Chowder and clamcakes Perhaps the best combination for a June day are chowder and clam cakes

– especially near the water. Like the month, it brings together warm comfort food for a cool day, with a taste of the sea that portends summer.

But where to go?

In the South Coast there are lots of choices ranging from Route 6 classics in Swansea like Kent’s and Chad’s Chowder House to Macray’s Seafood II on Stafford Road, who are the heirs apparent to the historic and legendary clam shack that once graced Westport.

Flo’s Drive In in Portsmouth dates back to the 1936. The clam prices may be higher and the area not so popular, but the

combination of location and fried food still draws in folks from the area.

“My family and I love the drive down to Island Park to Flo’s. We place our order and will sit on the sea wall looking out over the water,” Fall River resident Bob Medeiros said.

There’s also a Flo’s Clam Shack in Middletown, which has indoor and outdoor places to sit and a great deck overlooking the water. It’s more of a traditional restaurant with an expanded menu, bar, and table service, but it still retains the shack and waterfront attitude.

Medeiros also suggested Blount Seafood’s Warren location. This seasonal location combines a great location on the Barrington River with good clam cakes and chowder and much more – including beer.

Order your food, grab a spot at a picnic table or Adirondack chair, and enjoy the view. Some nights there is music, and at other times, Medeiros noted, you can just sit and watch the sailing lessons.

Don’t want to leave the city? Head to Blount’s soup market and clam shack on Bedford Street in Fall River, right across from the Boys’ and Girls’ Club or take a trip to their Crescent Park location in Rhode Island.

Heading toward Bristol there’s Quito’s, and moving inland the Star Drive-In in East Taunton is worth a trip. It not only offers baseball-sized clam cakes with or without chowder, but also an extensive and creative menu. Check their Facebook page for information about “Family Fun Nights” like Movie Nights, classic car and vintage bike shows, and more.

Also check out Somerset’s Comfort Zone, with its little outdoor patio overlooking the Taunton River. There are many other places in the area that features those dough balls of clammy wonder and steaming bowls of creamy, or clear, or red, goodness. Enjoy.

Ice cream

On one of those perfect June days – or even a not so perfect day – taking a visit to one of the many local ice cream spots Continued ON NEXT PAGE

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Take a walk

Continued FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

is a cool thing to do. And everybody has a favorite.

For many, taking a trip out to Gray’s Ice Cream at Tiverton Four Corners is a ritual dating back to the days of Sunday afternoon rides. It’s still worth the time to savor a taste of summer in a great rural spot.

If you’re looking to do the equivalent of a pub crawl (but involving ice cream) Somerset and Swansea might be the place to do it.

Start at Somerset Creamery on Route 6, then head up to Mr. Peeper’s farther west on Route 6, then turn right onto Gardner’s Neck road. Bear left on Hortonville Road,

Whether you opt for the chowder, clam cakes, or the ice cream challenge, it’s probably time for a walk. Good thing for you there are plenty of options.

Stroll the beaches, wander around downtown Newport, or walk or ride along the 12mile drive, Medeiros suggested, adding: “Go kite flying at the Bretton Point and visit the Portuguese Discovery Monument while there.”

For Medeiros, who is president of the Prince Henry Society of Fall River, the monument is of special significance. It recalls the legendary Portuguese navigators.

Dedicated in 1988, it fell into disrepair

Get a closer look at the Battleship Massachusetts, stop for drinks and music some nights at the Cove Restaurant or Tipsy Seagull, see the scale model of the Iwo Jima memorial and the Gold Star monument, and more.

Be adventurous and stroll up Columbia Street for some great Portuguese food, shopping, and bakeries – or head to the Flint for more Portuguese food, Italian grinders, and Lebanese meat pies.

Stop at Britland Park on Wordell Street and walk to Rodman Street along a path that follows a former railroad bed and the Quequechan River. The trail has been named for Alfred J. Lima, who drew the

Somerset Creamery

Chad’s Chowder House

then left on Locust until you reach the Ice Cream Barn.

Backtrack to the split of Hortonville Road, then head down Haille’s Hill Road to Simcock Farm on Marvel Street. Visit the store and check out the animals. Go down the hill to County Street, turn right to visit another Somerset Creamery location.

Still not done? Go back up Route 6 and hit the Friendly’s. Continue up to Route 136 and stop at the Eskimo King, a classic drivein with a little playground as well as more than two dozen hard ice cream flavors, sherbets, and more than 300 soft serve flavors.

Then take a nap or get in some exercise.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

until it was replaced in 2014. This year, the goal is to complete the renovation.

New Bedford’s downtown is a walkable, interesting area with new brew pubs, small shops, and a world-renowned Whaling Museum near a National Park office. Stroll through the downtown area or cross the street and walk along the waterfront.

Head up Route 18 to the Hurricane Barrier and onto Fort Taber/Fort Rodman.

Breathe in the sea air.

For another city stroll, head to the boardwalk along the Taunton River in Fall River.

Whether you start at Bicentennial Park at the bottom of President Avenue or head to Battleship Cove, you can walk along the waterfront.

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plans for the river greenway.

If you walk all the way, it’s about a mile and a half. For a slightly shorter walk, The Warren Bike Path was built along the former Warren-Fall River railroad tracks.

It’s a nice stroll from Long Road to the Kickemuit River and ends in a park along the river called The Meadows.

The Warren path is about two miles from the East Bay Bike Path which extends from Bristol to Providence. Walk or ride that 14mile path and you’ll have not only worked off the clam cakes, chowder, and ice cream, but you’ll be ready to start eating again.

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THINGS TO DO

The Fall River Historical Society hosts outdoor events throughout the summer.

Touring the summer S

by Dan Logan

ummer programs at South Coast museums, much like their counterparts in the natural world, blossom gradually as summer approaches. Here are some of the events likely to renew one’s appreciation for the area’s history and culture spanning the last 300 years.

Check the websites before finalizing plans.

Battleship Cove and the Maritime Museum

While Battleship Cove and the Maritime Museum share space below the Braga bridge, they represent two different aspects of the South Coast’s maritime history. Battleship Cove has an extensive collection of World War II and military vessels and memorabilia, while the Maritime Museum highlights Fall River’s role in the steamship era, when an overnight trip between Fall River and New York was a popular adventure.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

In January the two museums merged, which will help to focus the collections for visitors, and a general admission ticket now covers entry to both museums.

The merger is also an element in a larger plan to create a sophisticated waterfront district destination that includes not only the museums but also riverside restaurants and other entertainment along the Taunton River.

Battleship Cove celebrates its Submarine Day on June 17. The Lionfish, the museum’s World War II submarine, will host guided tours led by submarine veterans, and participants will get to build their own periscopes as part of the day’s activities.

The Lionfish is a designated National Historic Landmark; many of its peers were heavily reconfigured after the war, but the Lionfish is one of the few subs of its generation to retain its original configuration.

At the Maritime Museum, the Maritime Art Classes for Kids is aimed at children 4-8 years old. “[These are] nautical-themed art classes for kids where young artists create their own maritime

masterpieces,” says Maria Vann, Battleship Cove’s chief curator.

The hour-long art classes will be held every Wednesday in July and August at 2 p.m. Participants will hear a short talk on the week’s topic before diving into producing their own pieces of art.

The classes will be built around sailors (July 5), mermaids (July 12), signal flags (July 19), the Titanic (July 26), sea creatures and myths (August 2), shells (August 9), the South Pacific (August 16), and pirates (August 23).

The art classes are covered under the general admission ticket (adults $18, seniors and U.S. military veterans with ID $16, children 4-12 $11. Museum members, children 3 and under, and active military with ID get in free).

For more information call 508-678-1100 or visit battleshipcove. org.

Blithewold

Wealthy homeowners living along the New England shoreline built some handsome residences in what is now called the Country Place Era, which lasted from roughly 1890 to 1930, a period in which wealthy Americans sought to emulate dramatic European estates.

That elegance has been preserved at the 45-room Blithewold Mansion in Bristol, where the Van Wickle/Mckee family turned the 33 acres fronting Narragansett Bay into a park-like estate.

Blithewold features a summer-long run of Saturday Strolls (through October 14) and Wednesday Walk-arounds (through October 4, plus Thursday, October 12) from 11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

Docents lead a guided tour of the house with its collection of family heirlooms, and to Blithewold’s newly-expanded Greenhouse Complex.

Visitors can visit Blithewold’s many specialized gardens in their peak seasons. “The Gardens change dramatically from spring to summer to fall,” notes Tree Callanan, Blithewold’s director of communications. “[And] since the tours are both indoors and outdoors, the items of interest are also quite varied.”

The fee for each Saturday Stroll is $6 per person in addition to the regular admission of $14 for adults (check the website for discounts for seniors, children, families, and military personnel).

You can find Blithewold at 101 Ferry Road (Rt. 114) in Bristol.

To register for a particular date visit the website at blithewold.org.

For more information call 401-253-2707 or e-mail info@blithewold.org.

Newport Restoration Foundation

Wealthy heiress Doris Duke created the Newport Restoration Foundation in 1968, aiming to preserve the architectural heritage of 18th- and 19th-century Aquidneck Island.

The foundation owns and maintains about 80 buildings on the island in addition to three museums: Rough Point, Duke’s Newport mansion; Whitehorne House, which features her Continued ON NEXT PAGE

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Continued FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

collection of 18th-century Newport furniture; and Prescott Farm, with its windmill and preserved examples of early American landscape and architecture.

On Wednesday evenings this summer, Rough Point will host a series of family-oriented tours that include artmaking, floral fashions, sketching activities and gallery talks. The tours include both the inside of the mansion and the gardens outside, says Meaghan Barry, marketing coordinator for the foundation.

There are monthly themes for the tours. June focuses on The Language of Flowers and Florals, July is Celebrating the American Lawn, and August is Looking at the Landscape.

The tours run from 5 to 7 p.m., but for visitors who prefer to take in Rough Point at their own pace, there’s a self-guided tour through select rooms in addition to access to the gardens.

Visitors are also welcome to bring lawn chairs and have a picnic on the grounds.

The Wednesday evening fee for adults is $10; children 12 and under get in free. To learn more about the Newport Restoration Foundation, visit NewportRestoration.org.

Fall River Historical Society The Fall River Historical Society has been pulling together the eighth summer of its Shakespeare in the Park series.

The Starving Artists Theatre Company will return with a twopart production of Shakespeare’s epic tetralogy known as the Henriad, which includes Richard II; Henry IV, Part 1; Henry IV, Part 2; and Henry V. The plays trace Prince Hal, son of Henry IV, from his party animal early years to his development into a powerful leader.

Striving Artists offers the Henriad in two standalone performances, each turning a portion of the overall tale into its own complete story, so that it is not necessary to see Part 1 in order to enjoy Part 2.

The performances are tentatively scheduled for July 29 and 30.

The dates may change, so check the website at lizzieborden.org or call 508-679-1071 for updated information.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

Clockwise from top: Battleship Cove, the Marine Museum, the Doris Duke House.

New Bedford Whaling Museum Summer on the Hill is the theme of a program being put together by the New Bedford Whaling Museum and the Whaling National Historical Park.

“We are celebrating the transformation of Johnny Cake Hill, where the historic Seamen’s Bethel and Mariners’ Home have been recently restored, and are now open to the public,” says Tina Malott, director of marketing and public relations.

Summer on the Hill is still in the planning stage, but the schedule at this writing calls for a street fair on four Saturdays, when Johnny Cake Hill will be closed off for arts and crafts booths, family activities, food trucks, and live music.

Tentative dates are July 15, July 22, August 12, and August 26, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Visit whalingmuseum.org or nps.gov/nebe Bill Perkins for the finalized schedule.

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COVER STORY

Shake up Father’s Day

By Jay Pateakos

Father’s Day as we know it became an official U.S. holiday in 1908, but it has its roots in 14th century Europe, and the feast day of Saint Joseph, the father of Jesus Christ. Which means that for hundreds of years, sons and daughters have been struggling to find the right way to show affection to their fathers.

F

or the last ten or fifteen years of my dad’s life, we got him scratch tickets. It’s what he loved, but looking back at it now, I can’t help but think that there must have been better things I could have done for him than buy lottery tickets. You win once out of every twenty or so times and the joy is basically over in about three seconds.

Now that I’ve been a father for years, I know that the best gift is quality time with the kids. But hey, the other gifts don’t hurt either!

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Here’s a great gift idea: help dad start

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

a new hobby. How about woodworking?

Maybe building bird houses? Something that will relax him? He likely needs that.

Or maybe update those rusty tools he’s been using for so long that he doesn’t even know how bad they are. He’d love you for it.

My kids bought me tools last year and it’s amazing how much better the tools are nowadays than they were even just a decade ago. Us men tend to hang onto things a little too long.

If that sounds like a good idea to you, then you should stop by the Tool Consignment Store at 1225 GAR Highway in Swansea.

“We have all kinds of tools on consignment here, mechanical, plumbing, welding and so much more,” said coowner Brian Spadea, a father himself of a 12-year-old boy and 10-year-old daughter.

He and his business partner sell their consigned tools in-store and also online at toolconsignment.com.

While they work mainly on consignment, Spadea said they also offer tool buyouts if there’s an abundance of tools in a basement or garage that people just need to get rid of, they will either offer it on consignment or provide the buyout option for people who don’t want to deal with it.

Spadea said it’s generally not “how much

you spend, it’s how much you save” in his 3,000-square-foot store filled with tools of every trade imaginable. “The lore of the store is that you never know what’s coming in.”

He said you could certainly drop much more money on these tools at Home Depot but why bother?

“I say bring your son in here and teach him something. We have starter kits and you can find many inexpensive tools here to get him started,” said Spadea. “We have everything from tool bags to extension cords and other items to go with the tools.”

For more information call 508-235-1006 or visit toolconsignment.com.

A pup for pop

A dog is man’s – and therefore dad’s – best friend. Only get one if you’re sure he’ll love it, but if you’re sure, then what a great Father’s Day gift that would be! It’s more likely that he already has a dog, so instead, maybe you should work at keeping that dog as healthy as possible so that your dad’s best friend stays around a very long time.

Rick Manuels works alongside his two sons.

Justin Pereira, of the family-owned Pet Foods Plus at 30 Gooding Avenue in Bristol, said they offer a lot of Americanmade, holistic pet food and treats that will help maintain your furry friend’s health for a lot longer than regular food.

The holistic approach is probably something your dad may need to be educated on, but he’ll thank you for it later when his favorite friend lives a long, healthier life.

And don’t worry if the paterfamilias is a fan of felines – Pet Foods Plus boasts an equally-large selection of healthy cat foods as well.

“Holistic food is the way to go. Less allergies, less trips to the vet. It’s the same for people. The better you eat, the better you will feel,” said Pereira.

“Having American-made food is huge with word of what the Chinese is putting in their pet food. It’s important to know what’s in your food.”

Pet Foods Plus sells brands including Fromm, Merrick, and Origin. They specialize not only in dogs and cats, but also small mammals, fish, birds, reptiles, and more.

Pereira said they also do a monthly vet

clinic providing reasonable shots and microchipping for dog owners, the next one being held June 4 from 10-11:30 a.m. For more information call 401-253-2456 or visit petfoods-plus.com.

Four-wheeled makeover

If dog is man’s best friend, then it’s certain that his second-best friend is his car.

Maybe your dad’s just too busy to clean his vehicle, or maybe he’s always wanted his windows tinted but never had the chance to do it.

Rick Manuels, owner of Fall River’s Spindle City Auto Glass at 483 Bedford Street, isn’t only a father of three (Jonathan, 23, Allan, 18, Katelyn, 16) but his two sons also work in his shop. Manuels knows a thing about raising kids, teaching them the ropes, and working alongside them.

“We offer auto glass replacement and mobile glass replacement where we will go to you, but we also have a full detail department where most of the cars would only cost about $99,” said Manuels, who recently hired two students in the senior co-op program from Diman to work at his shop.

“We also do auto glass tinting as well as commercial and residential glass and screen replacement for home or business.

We can also do remote starters and alarms.”

Manuels said that 95 percent of the time you call Spindle City Auto Glass, he’s the one picking up the line. It’s a family business, and all the employees treat the customers like family.

“A nice detailing would make for a great Father’s Day gift, something dad might not think of getting for himself,” said Manuels.

“Getting the windows tinted is another great idea, with the tint blocking 99 percent of the ultraviolet rays. It’s something that’s important for health-conscious people, especially those with skin issues.”

For more information call 508-677-3063 or visit spindlecityautoglass.com.

Those are just a few ways to show your appreciation to your dad without resorting to another tie (or scratch tickets).

Dads mostly just go about their business helping their families, driving their kids to sports games, or doing whatever they can to make their kids’ lives easier. They deserve something special this year. Make it happen.

The South Coast Insider | June 2017

15

BUSINESS BUZZ

If you’re looking to get hooked on fishing give Captain Leroy’s a try.

A Day on the

water

By Greg Jones

ere you are – you live along the South Coast, and the nearby ocean has always been a part of your life. It affects the weather, how warm (or cold) it is on any given day, it supplies seafood, jobs, recreation, and, without any risk of overstating things, is one of the most significant aspects of life on the South Coast.

A walk on the beach is great, and swimming off one of our beaches is part of any summer. But to really feel, see, smell, and experience the ocean, you can’t beat actually going out on it.

It’s easy to say that, but, you might argue.

That’s just for people who have a boat or a friend with a boat. Not at all! In the twin cities of Fairhaven and New Bedford – the most productive and profitable commercial fishing port in the US (including Alaska) – you can spend a day on the water without going to work on a scallop dredger

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

or making friends with the guy down the street who has a boat in his yard.

If it’s fishing that has your attention, what better way to catch fish than to go to where the fish are, in the clear, clean waters of Buzzards Bay and Vineyard Sound? No need to suffer through the traffic going to Cape Cod. Captain Leroy’s fishing boats hails from New Bedford and will get you fishing sooner.

A great catch Captain Leroy’s Deep Sea Fishing, Inc. is the place to go, with a home port on Pope’s Island, located nearly in the middle of New Bedford harbor right off Route 6. Give them a call at 508-728-8832 for more information or to make a reservation. Please note that reservations are required in order to assure everyone gets a place on a boat.

Bryon and Lori Faltus are the owners of Captain Leroy’s, and they are the third genJeanne Fuller-Jones eration to follow the sea and take people

fishing. The next generation is standing in the wings, learning the waters firsthand.

“My son, Corey Faltus, is the fourth generation of the business,” said Lori.

The original Captain Leroy Faltus began taking out fishermen “back in the 1950s,” said Lori. Even with more than 50 years of experience, catching a fish is not guaranteed. “That’s why they call it ‘fishing’” said Lori, adding that, “90 per cent of the time, people come back with fish.”

Captain Leroy has three vessels, set up especially for fishing. The Miss Elaine is 36foot party boat that can take as many as 12 fishermen. Miss Elaine is U.S. Coast Guard inspected, with all the amenities, including bathroom, radar, a depth sounder, ship-toshore radio, and a fish finder, along with a USCG-licensed skipper to take personal care of your and your fishing partners.

She is available for charters only. “The Miss Elaine is named after my mother-in-law,” said Lori, neatly answering why the unique

name in a fleet named for the company’s founder.

The Captain Leroy III is the flagship of the fleet, a 65-foot party boat that can carry 55 fishermen, with plenty of room to cast and catch the big ones. Comfortably equipped with two bathrooms, radar, depth sounder, fishfinder, and a ship-to-shore radio, the Captain Leroy III is also skippered by a USCGlicensed professional mariner.

The Captain Leroy V is a 60-foot party boat, fully equipped, just like the rest of the Captain Leroy fleet, inspected and approved by the US Coast Guard, with a USCG-licensed skipper.

You don’t need to have a fishing license.

That is taken care of by Captain Leroy.

Everybody fishes under Captain Leroy’s Massachusetts license. Free bait is on board or you can visit their Bait Shop for special options. If you have a favorite fishing rod, by all means bring it, but there are rods and reels for rent, so all you need to do is make a reservation and show up.

When you go fishing on one of Captain Leroy’s boats, you get to keep all the fish you catch, “within the regulations,” said Lori. She noted that the current regulations limit how many fish any one person can keep, “and it’s a lot less than it was years ago,” she said. “You can catch 45 scup from May to June, and then it goes down to 30 for the rest of the summer.”

The limits for sea bass are even tougher.

“The season opens May 21 and lasts until August 30,” she said, “and you can only keep five.”

One way to increase the number of fish you bring home is to “bring your children fishing,” said Lori. “People should bring their kids, teach them to fish.”

Lori encourages this, and she takes pictures of the kids with their fish and prints it right there on the spot. “We take their picture, and we give them a ribbon,” said Lori.

Children go fishing at a reduced rate, and the smiles are priceless. Save room on the refrigerator door for the picture of your child with their catch.

The Captain Leroy fleet sets out at 7 a.m., and returns to the Pope’s Island dock at 3 p.m. Lori emphasized that reservations are required. “We’ve got people coming from all up and down the East Coast,” she said, “so we have to have reservations to make Continued ON NEXT PAGE

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sure they have a spot on the boat.”

Give Captain Leroy a call at 508-728-8832 or visit the website, captainleroys.com.

SET OUT ON AN EXPEDITION New Bedford’s maritime past is filled with stories of vessels heading out on voyages of such great length and uncertainty that it would not be overstatement to characterize them as “expeditions.”

You can still go on an ocean adventure, departing from the same port that Herman Melville used when he went to sea, gathering experiences to guide and inform his authorial career.

Captain Jeff Pontiff founded Whaling City Expeditions in 1999, and his years of experience and familiarity with the history of this historic port provide a unique experience.

Take a harbor tour and watch one of the boats from New Bedford’s commercial fishing fleet as they navigate the hurricane barrier on their way to the open ocean.

The one-hour harbor tour aboard one of Whaling City Expeditions’ clean, quiet vessels will give you a perspective on this famous harbor that simply can’t be matched from ashore.

Another popular option is the Sunset Cruise. Explore the historic waterfronts of New Bedford and Fairhaven in the warm light of a summer evening as you sip a glass

of chilled champagne. This two-hour private charter needs to be reserved 48 hours in advance, but it is well worth the wait.

Please note that the Sunset Cruise is open to the public on Thursday evenings, for just $25 per person. It’s first-come, first served, with a minimum of six passengers. BYOB and BYOSnacks, and don’t forget to bring a camera.

Whaling City Expeditions operates from mid-June to September, and can be reached at 508-984-4979 or go to their website at whalingcityexpeditions.com. Get on board at the company’s dock at City Pier 3, 228 Macarthur Drive. Plenty of parking is nearby.

A OUT TO SEA If you’re looking for a more hands-on experience, the folks at Sail Buzzards Bay can take care of that for you. Located at 101 Main Street in Fairhaven, SBB has three sailboats in its fleet, each one suitable for a series of courses that will transform the neophyte landlubber into a skilled and capable skipper.

Sail Buzzards Bay is certified by the American Sailing Association, and the instructors are certified by ASA and the US Coast Guard. After working your way up from basic sailing skills to the advanced coastal cruising certification, you can charter a sailboat anywhere in the world for a holiday you will never forget.

Start your instruction on a 23-foot Sonar, Don’t get stuck on the beach!

Go for a long, slow boat ride with Sail Buzzards Bay.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

Captain Jeff Pontiff

a basic, stable, and easily-sailed boat that was designed to be safe, comfortable, and simple. Move up to their 26-foot Pearson sailboat to learn how to handle a bigger boat, one that you can take out for an overnight cruise, spending the night in a comfortable anchorage.

Head offshore and sharpen your skills on Aura, a 30-foot sailboat that has been proven by rounding the notorious Cape Horn, skippered by one of Sail Buzzards Bay’s instructors.

The company’s boat can be chartered with a skipper or, with suitable qualifications, you can take the boats out by yourself. Imagine a family weekend sailing in the waters of the South Coast. After an exhilarating day of sailing, you drop anchor in a quiet harbor and enjoy a sunset glass of wine sitting on the boat. Dinner can be prepared onboard because the boat has a fully-equipped kitchen, or you can go to a restaurant ashore.

If you’d rather spend the night in your own bed, you can charter one of their boats for an afternoon or a day, with or without one of the ASA and U.S. Coast Guard certified instructors.

Start your adventure by calling Sail Buzzards Bay at 617-212-8040, send an email at sbb@sailbuzzbay.com or go to their website sailbuzzbay.com.

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BUSINESS BUZZ The Inspired Bath Kitchen & Bath Showroom

Proven home improvers

By Jay Pateakos

With more people staying in their homes instead of selling for greener pastures, there has been a surge in interest in home improvements and renovations.

As a result, many local companies are seeing an uptick in business as homeowners spend money on more and better products than they did just a few years ago. From creature comforts to complete overhauls, there’s a local business ready to meet your home improvement needs.

Rest easy

Pattie MacMillen, owner of Fall River’s Ecin Bedding & Futon Factory, said rents and condo fees have been increasing,

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

putting costs out of reach for many homeowners. They are choosing to stay in a place they are familiar with, which grants them a better understanding of their future expenses.

MacMillen said some new trends in bedding seem to be purchasing a mattress through the internet, something unheard of just a few years ago.

“In the past, people would never buy a mattress sight-unseen. Now they search online, read some reviews, and think

nothing of purchasing a mattress that they have never tried,” said MacMillen.

“People wonder why they are dissatisfied when the Pattie MacMillen comfort level isn’t what they expected. Others that purchase online and spend very little seem to have no problem with disposing of it and

trying something else. We have become a disposable society.”

MacMillan said another trend is the onesided mattress. She said that while many people flocked to the one-sided mattress, they soon realized it was a mattress that wears out rather quickly compared to the traditional two-sided mattress. Over the last year or so, people have been returning to the double-sided mattress, including the hybrid mattress.

“The hybrid mattress with both innerspring and memory foam are getting popular,” said MacMillan.

“It’s gel-infused memory foam that keeps you from getting hot when you sleep while also continuing to give you the innerspring support. Everything is meant to keep you cool: sheets, pillowcases, beds,” she said.

For those with a home away from home, Ecin also specializes in boat, RV, and camping bedding.

Ecin Bedding & Futon, 508-675-6920 ecinindustries.com

Cleaning up

Kevin Lowe, showroom director of The Inspired Bath Kitchen & Bath Showroom at Dartmouth’s Plumbing Supply Company, said walk-in showers and even freestanding tubs are growing in popularity.

“We are seeing many customers converting to walk-in showers. As baby boomers age, they are looking to stay in their homes and modify their current bathroom set-up to accommodate agingin-place,” said Lowe.

“We work with customers to create a functional space without sacrificing design.”

Touchless faucets are continuing to gain popularity and homeowners are investing in water filtration systems, Lowe noted.

“Freestanding tubs are extremely popular right now. Five years ago it was rare for a customer to inquire about a freestanding bath,” Lowe said. “Now we have multiple freestanding tubs on display in our showrooms.”

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New Bedford’s Odd Jobs–My Specialty owner Paul Rousseau said people are certainly getting more comfortable financially and he’s now booked up for the next four to five months because of it.

“They’re feeling better about themselves financially. They’re spending more money on things like kitchens and bathrooms and flooring and making their houses look and feel better,” said Rousseau.

“We’re doing a lot of different things, from power washing houses to painting them.”

Rousseau said there are just not that many people in his line of work. He feels bad when people want jobs done right away and he can’t get to it just yet.

“They want it done now so they can enjoy it. I try to see what they are thinking and visualize what they want so I can do my best for them,” he added. “I want them to love what we did so there is no second-guessing. That way they will not just like it but love it.”

Continued ON NEXT PAGE

The South Coast Insider | June 2017

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Continued FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

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Keeping cool is hot

Fall River’s GM Refrigeration owner George Mercier said that there are many homeowners who are choosing to update their HVAC systems.

“We’re seeing a trend that people are purchasing more high-efficiency models and ductless systems – cooling larger areas with one unit,” said Mercier.

For decades, houses typically were designed more in sections, he said, which meant that more units were needed to air-condition homes. Now, homes are being designed more with open floor plans or homes are being renovated to take down walls and open space up, allowing for the units to be ductless and to cover more area.

“Years ago, every room would have to have a duct, but ductless is getting more popular. We are doing about half/half right now,” said Mercier. “There are still great rebates available from the electric and gas companies and everyone is going the high-efficiency route now. They may cost more, but people are saving money on their electricity bill. The consumer wins out here.”

GM Refrigeration, 508-678-7432 gmrefrig.com

“They are spending more money for better products, staying in their homes, and seeing it as a great value of getting these high-quality items to improve their homes and quality of life.”

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

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Fairhaven Lumber owner Jim Kalife said people are not building homes as big as they used to, but they are certainly adding more features to their homes as the economy improves.

“They’re buying more high-end items now – flooring, decking, and kitchen cabinets. We are seeing homes that were built 20 to 25 years ago, where the owners are tired of the current style of their homes, or that it’s showing signs of wear from the kids growing up, and the husband and wife want to get a fresh look,” said Kalife.

“We’re seeing a lot of nice new countertops, new flooring, or even doors that have been scuffed up over the years due to bicycles hitting them. People are changing old carpeting to hardwood floors or carpeting to tile.”

Outside the home, Kalife said many homeowners are renovating with PVC siding, decking, or railing, because PVC is much easier to maintain.

“They just want to wash it and go. It may not be the cheapest way out, but people are seeing it as something that will stay for the rest of their lives,” said Kalife.

“They are spending more money for better products, staying in their homes, and seeing it as a great value of getting these high-quality items to improve their homes and quality of life.”

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COVER STORY

Safety is no accident

By Elizabeth Morse Read

S

chool’s out soon, and everyone’s ready for dune buggies, pool parties, fireworks, and all-youcan-eat BBQs. But all that summertime funshine can turn tragic in an instant if you’re not alert to the potential dangers.

June is the beginning of hurricane season – and it’s also National Safety Month.

So be prepared: the life you save may be your own or a loved one’s.

Why most accidents happen Take a wild guess: what do you think is the number one cause of accidental injury and death in the United States? Shark 24

June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

attacks? Terrorism? Lightning strikes?

Would you believe poisoning? Yes, poisoning is the number one cause of accidental injuries or deaths, whether from eating tainted foods, inhaling noxious fumes (like CO2), ingesting toxic chemicals (like toddlers tasting antifreeze), or prescription drug/opioid overdose.

Motor vehicle accidents are the second-highest cause of accidental injury or death, due to impaired driving, distracted driving, excessive speed, inexperience at the wheel, or hazardous road conditions.

Another surprise: falls are the third-highest cause of accidental injury or death for all age groups, but the leading cause of Nancy Plante death in Americans over 70 years old.

The fourth-leading cause of accidental injury and death is choking and suffocation, whether it’s choking on food, swallowing small objects, or accidental strangulation (mechanical asphyxiation), especially in infants and the elderly.

Ten Americans of all ages drown every day, making drowning the fifth-highest cause of accidental injury or death, the leading cause of accidental death in children 1-4 years old, and the second-leading cause of death in ages 5-24.

Fires and burns are the number six leading cause of accidental injury or death in the US. Working smoke alarms throughout the home cuts in half the chances of injury or dying in a home fire. Know your

house’s escape routes, install roll-up fire ladders on the upper floors, and extinguishers throughout the house. Contact your fire department for more tips on how you and yours can prevent or survive a home fire.

The number seven cause of accidental injury and death in the US is natural/environmental disasters, like hurricanes, heat waves, tornadoes, or industrial disasters, which kill hundreds of people each year and injure thousands more.

Learn how to prevent or be prepared for all of the above by going to the National Safety Council’s website, nsc.org/learn/ safety-knowledge.

Water, water everywhere Every summer, we read the grim headlines of yet another accidental drowning that could have been prevented. Children left alone in the backyard, weekend boaters who left shore without a lifejacket, non-swimmers cannon-balling into a quarry, people going for a midnight swim alone or driving through a flooded street during a hurricane and being swept away.

In 2013, 3,400 Americans of all ages drowned, not just small children.

Teenagers like to horseplay in the pool, dive into unknown waters off bridges and jetties and boats, or swim beyond the float barriers. Younger kids like to explore canals, culverts, or streams.

Drowning is the number one cause of death in small children, who can be left unsupervised near a pool, at the waterfront, or in a bathtub, but they can also fall head-first into toilets, industrial-size buckets, kiddie pools, and hot tubs. If ever you lose sight of a child at the beach party, check the water first. Lifeguards are not babysitters.

Bullseye of the storm Summertime around here is also the season for hurricanes. The brunt of the storm may last only a few hours, but you could be stuck in the house for days with no electricity due to flooding, trees in Continued ON NEXT PAGE

Getting You Back to Better

Annual Health Expo Thursday. June 8th 2017 from 11am-3pm

Celebrating our 25th Anniversary as Long Term Acute Care Hospital (LTACH) —the only one in our community

The event will be held outdoors on hospital grounds under tents over 100 agencies from across Massachusetts and Rhode Island’s areas of health and human services will be featured.

Southcoast Hospital’s Mobile Health Van will be on site providing free health screenings.

This event is FREE to register and open to the public.

For more detailed information or registration, please email: Alice Rebelo, Director of Community Awareness at arebelo@vhmass.com 4499 Acushnet Avenue • New Bedford, MA 02745 • www.vhmass.com • P: 508.995.6900

Are you the parent of a child with significant behavioral health and emotional needs? Do you feel overwhelmed in locating the appropriate services, supports, and resources to meet your child’s mental health needs? We can help!

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To learn more about the program or make a referral for the CSA, please call: 508-990-0894 (ask for CSA Referrals)

The South Coast Insider | June 2017

25

A hurricane survival tip A hurricane is like the Mother of All Rainy Days, and a potentially doomsday emergency, so you’d better be prepared for a few days of “cash only” transactions. Your PIN and passwords will be totally useless, unless and until power is fully restored and everything electronic/digital is back online and debugged. It could take days, not hours, before you could access your “plastic money” again.

So it’s really important to stock up on extra pocket cash before a storm hits, not just on bread, beer, diapers, and toilet paper. Think about it: if your house and neighborhood loses power during the storm, that means that all the gas pumps, traffic lights, cash registers, credit cards, and ATMs in your neighborhood won’t be working, either, nevermind your TV or computer or toaster oven.

Half-drunk is just as dangerous as whole drunk When you read between the lines, “demon rum” alcohol is a contributing factor in many cases of accidental injury and death, whether it’s when someone’s driving a car or a boat, smoking in bed, or just plain acting stupid. Like diving off a cliff because of a dare, setting off firecrackers in the garage, or climbing onto someone’s roof (or into someone’s bedroom) after a bout of group binge-drinking in the summertime.

Here’s a sobering statistic: alcohol is involved in 50% of all male teenager drownings, nevermind car accidents.

A half-drunk person is just an accident looking for a place to happen, oftentimes with serious collateral damage. A tipsy person’s sense of balance is obviously shot.

Their neural reaction time, social inhibitions, attention span, and critical judgment skills are also seriously impaired, even if they’re not “legally drunk.” They’re not fit to look after themselves, nevermind keep an eye on the kiddies.

Friends don’t let friends drive drunk, that’s true. But really good friends don’t let halfdrunk friends handle the matches and lighter fluid at the Fourth of July family BBQ, or oversee the children’s entertainment at the beachside clambake. Don’t just be the “designated driver” when your friend or spouse has a buzz on and wants to drive – be the “designated adult in the room” and keep an eye on them and out of harm’s way, just as you would with kids on a sugar high at a birthday party.

Beating a heat wave A summertime heat wave not only makes everyone feel miserable and crabby, but the extreme temperatures and high humidity can kill. Never leave children, pets, the elderly, or disabled in a closed vehicle. If the power goes out and the airconditioning doesn’t work, go to the lowest level of the house.

You can also go to a designated cooling shelter, or spend time in air-conditioned public places like malls, libraries, or movie theatres.

No matter what’s on your schedule during a heat wave, you need to postpone all outdoor activities and strenuous labor, and stay out of the direct sun. Staying hydrated is crucial during a heat wave – drink plenty of water (no caffeine or alcohol), even if you’re not thirsty. Check in on elderly neighbors, pets, and sick friends.

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June 2017 || The TheSouth SouthCoast CoastInsider Insider

Continued FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

the road, and downed power lines. Make sure you’re stocked up ahead of time with a three-day supply of non-perishable foods, bottled water, toilet paper, pet food, personal hygiene products, refilled prescriptions, and an assortment of non -digital pastimes (cards, board games, books, Legos, knitting).

Always have an emergency communication plan before a hurricane arrives. Do you all know how to get weather updates, evacuation orders, and emergency alerts?

Do you know where the local emergency shelters and safe routes are? How will you all keep in touch if the phones and internet aren’t working? Go to ready.gov/ make-a-plan to download a sample plan and fill it in according to your particular circumstances.

Fill up your car’s tank as soon as your know there’s a “hurricane watch” and load your supplies, spare clothing, and valuables in the trunk, in case you all have to leave in a hurry. If you’re ordered to evacuate, let family and friends know where you all are and where you’re going. Text messages are more reliable than phone calls during a weather/power crisis.

It’s all too common to lose power during a hurricane. Plan ahead and create a customized preparedness kit (go to ready. gov/kit), including flashlights with fresh batteries, cash [see sidebar], first-aid supplies, copies of important paperwork (birth certificates, insurance info), and a battery-operated NOAA weather radio.

Don’t use candles to light your way in the dark – it’s a sure way to start an accidental fire. Buy some LED camping lamps instead. Never use charcoal for heating or cooking indoors, or set up a generator inside the house or in a closed garage.

Keep your cell phones charged up before the storm arrives and the power goes out.

If you have to re-charge your cell phones later in your car, make sure the garage door is fully open while the car’s running!

(If your garage door is electric, do you know where the manual release lever is and how to use it in emergencies?)

Be prepared, save a life Being prepared isn’t just a motto for the Boy Scouts. No matter how carefully you plan your day, there are circumstances beyond your control that could turn it into a nightmare in an instant – a drunk driver, a flash flood, a gas leak, a toddler falling into your neighbor’s koi pool, your grandmother slipping on wet linoleum, a car or generator left running in a closed garage.

You can minimize the risk of accidental injuries and death by eliminating the potential threats – installing smoke/CO2 detectors and fire extinguishers, fencing in swimming pools and yards, keeping medicines and poisonous substances locked away, taking the car keys away from a friend who’s been drinking.

But you must always be vigilant – whether you like it or not, you are the “designated” guardian of children, the elderly, rowdy teenagers, partying adults and jaywalking strangers, wherever you are every day.

Are you prepared to be a lifesaver? Do you know how to perform CPR or the Heimlich maneuver? Do you know how to swim or rescue someone who’s drowning? Do you have basic first-aid training and keep emergency supplies on hand?

Do you know what to do or where to go if a natural disaster strikes? Do you have the Poison Control Hotline posted near your phone (1-800-222-1222), or know where to get “Mr. Yuk” stickers? Do you know where the emergency exit routes are, whether you’re at home or in a public building?

Get safety educated before life-threatening accidents happen. Contact your local YMCA or Red Cross about swimming lessons and first-aid training. Contact your local authorities about fire safety, emergency preparedness, defensive driving classes, and evacuation procedures.

Stay safe this summer and year-round.

Learn more at fema.gov, dhs.gov, cdc.gov/ homeandrecreationalsafety, ready.gov, redcross.org, aapcc.org, and nsc.org.

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The South Coast Insider | June 2017

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advertorial

First Row: (l-r) Santi DiRuzza; Clerk, Board of Directors, Scholarship Recipients’: Grace Perry, Ally Toupin and Isabel McDonnell, Director; Theodore Kaegael, Chairman of the Board of Directors; Carl Garcia and Director; Nero Farias.

Second Row: (l-r) Recipients Charles Martin and Joseph McClure and Director; John Souza Third Row: Matthew Schondek; President and CEO

Your Community Credit Union Originally known as the Fall River Municipal Employees Credit Union, FRMCU has a long history of helping its members to meet their financial goals. In fact, it has been helping people since 1930. From basic savings to loans and the latest electronic services, FRMCU has created accounts that work for its valued members.

RMCU has grown greatly from its humble beginnings at the Pocasset Fire Station. Today, there are four convenient locations, an operations center with a drive-up window, and ATMs connected to the Allpoint Network, which includes 55,000 ATMs worldwide. FRMCU is committed to providing its members with the products and services that will fit their needs and secure their financial futures.

FRMCU knows that its members want low fees and good customer service. They want to do their financial business at a place that

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

makes them feel like their needs come first.

There are many advantages to being a member of FRMCU. It offers low interest rates on auto loans, personal loans, and many mortgage products. There are also unique loan products like the pool and home spa loan and the salvaged auto loan that meet a specific financial need for some FRMCU members.

FRMCU knows that you have a variety of choices when it comes to choosing a financial institution. That is why FRMCU offers personal assistance along with great loan products and financial services.

FRMCU is extremely proud of its members and their continued loyalty. That is why FRMCU does its best to make sure the products and services offered are what you need to make your life easier. With services like Member Link Plus Online Banking, OneClick Online Bill Pay, and the FRMCU Mobile Banking App, you can continue to do your banking in a free, fast, easy, and secure way.

FRMCU is a dedicated community partner. It is concerned about the community’s financial wellness. It hosts a weekly radio show, CU Wednesdays, which airs every Wednesday at 2 p.m. on 1480 AM WSAR. It covers all sorts of topics, including, finance, community, and physical wellness. It offers products like savings accounts, IRA certificates of deposit, and holiday and vacation clubs, which were designed to help you save for your retirement, gifts during the holidays, or a tropical vacation. FRMCU has it all.

This year, FRMCU unveiled its new smart

money financial literacy program.

This program was designed to provide important information to improve your financial well-being. FRMCU will be sharing this valuable information with the greater community to help people become more financially aware and educated consumers. It will be hosting many different events designed to share this information with the community. In February, it hosted an America Saves event at the Ships Cove apartment complex and co-sponsored a first-time home buyer seminar with the City of Fall River’s Community Development Agency. FRMCU feels that the community will benefit from these literacy programs and it is proud that it will be able to facilitate access to resources that will expand financial knowledge.

On March 21, FRMCU became the first “dementia friendly” business in the city of Fall River after training from Bristol Elder Services. The management and staff were trained on how to best interact with those who may be suffering from this disease.

A dementia friendly community will bring awareness about dementia, which sometimes has a stigma attached to it. FRMCU is proud to be the first to relay the message that local businesses can help. The credit union deals with members of all ages. Some have been longtime members who are getting on in age, so it is important that those members receive the best service possible, despite potential memory loss or mental decline.

The heart of this credit union is to serve its members and community. Whether helping to sponsor Little League Teams or a community event, FRMCU is proud to be a business partner in our local area. Just remember, FRMCU is a local credit union that is dedicated to meeting your financial needs with its many products and personalized service.

In the coming months, FRMCU will be adding more products and services that will make banking with even easier. To find out more about what is happening at FRMCU, check out its website at frmcu.com to see the many ways it is focused on you and your financial needs.

Whether helping to sponsor Little League Teams or a community event, FRMCU is proud to be a business partner in our local area.

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29

THINGS TO DO

Gerry Gibbs

Sounds by the shore

Once a year, the New Bedford waterfront is awash in sounds having nothing to do with its legendary fishing scene. On June 10 from 2pm to 7pm, jazz will sweep over a tent-covered pier in the 6th Annual New Bedford JazzFest, featuring national and local musicians and singers.

H

eadlining the event is the New York-based three-piece group Gerry Gibbs and Thrasher People.

Drummer Gibbs has multiple albums that have reached number one on the jazz charts, including his latest release, Weather or Not, which spent three weeks on top this spring and is holding near the top five. Many of Gibb’s albums have been born from the local passion of Neal Weiss, owner and operator of hometown record label Whaling City Sound, which is getting national attention for its prolific portfolio of number one and top ten albums.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

JazzFest isn’t complete without the powerful touch that vocals bring to the music mix. Boston native and powerhouse jazz/ soul vocalist Cassandre McKinley will perform with the Dino Govoni Quartet.

McKinley is equally adept at jazz and blues styles and is backed by a talented sax-led quartet.

The influence of the French Quarter will be prominent, and this year, the bayou comes to the bay in the form of Matthew Hartnett and the Gumbo All-Stars, with its New Orleans-style trombone-led jazz, a brand of music out of the ordinary and very much welcomed this far north.

Cassandre McKinley

Matthew Hartnett

The group will set up in the lounge stage area, next to the bar, giving it a club-like atmosphere.

The rest of the fest

The JazzFest features two stages of diverse music, local food trucks and full bar, and a special section for local artisans and crafters to showcase their wares.

The festival kicks off around 2:15 with the 17-piece local favorite, the SouthCoast Jazz Orchestra, back for the sixth year with its classic big-band sound, a powerhouse group of regional musicians led

by Symphony Music Shop owner, Bob Williamson. The band plays semi-regularly at Gilda’s Stone Rooster in Marion.

Beyond music, there will be a selection of food trucks, and an “Artists’ Colony” curated by the New Bedford Art Museum, where patrons can browse and buy the work of local artisans.

Post-festival, JazzFest partner Greasy Lucky Brewery will host a funky jazz jam session with a house band and special guests. There’s a cover for the event, but if you bring your JazzFest ticket, admission is included.

Tickets are $20 in advance at NewBedfordJazzFest.com, through the Your Theatre box office at 508-993-0772, or in person at Bridgewater Credit Union (Fairhaven branch), Greasy Luck Brewery, and Symphony Music Shop on State Road in North Dartmouth. After June 5, tickets are $25. Children 15 and under are free when accompanied by an adult, and there’s free parking at the Elm Street Garage and 49 State Pier. The event runs rain or shine.

JazzFest is produced by and for the benefit of Your Theatre, Inc. New Bedford’s 70-year-old community theater group. YTI has partnered with Waterfront Historic League (WHALE) to purchase, restore, and convert 149 William Street (the First Baptist Church) into a theatre for YTI. Proceeds from this event will assist in this partnership to preserve vital historic architecture and provide a lasting home for New Bedford’s longest-running community theatre. Learn more at yourtheatre.org.

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The South Coast Insider | June 2017

31

DATELINE: SOUTH COAST

News, views and trends... from Mount Hope Bay to Buzzards Bay

by Elizabeth Morse Read

Here comes summer! There’s music and dancin’ in the streets everywhere starting this month – the South Coast moves outdoors for free concerts, food festivals, homecoming fairs, and sports events. Don’t forget the special men in your life on Father’s Day!

Across the Region Don’t miss PVDFest June 1-4 – music, dance, food, and art throughout Providence! For more info, call 401-421-2787 or visit first-works.org.

According to a national poll, Gov. Charlie Baker of Massachusetts is the most popular governor in America. (The least popular governor is Chris Christie of New Jersey.)

Students from Greater New Bedford Voc-Tech, with the architectural firm Studio2Sustain, will be designing the new welcome center at the Lloyd Center for the Environment in Dartmouth.

The building will be designed to meet the rigorous “Living Building Challenge” (LBC) certification of the International Living Future Institute.

Upon completion, it will join the eleven other LBC buildings in the world, two of which are also in Massachusetts.

Find out what’s going on at your local YMCA – make plans for summer camps! For schedules, go to ymcasouthcoast.org.

The Block Island Ferry is back! Travel to Newport and Block Island from State Pier in Fall River from June 24 through September 4. For details, go to blockislandferry.com.

Camp Angel Wings, a two-day bereavement camp for children ages 6-12 sponsored by the Southcoast Visiting Nurses Association, will be held July 15-16 at Camp Welch in Assonet. Call 508-973-3426 or go to southcoast.org/campangelwings.

There’s the Boston Harbor Tour/Quincy Market June 19, Cape Cod Luncheon Train June 28, Northshore Music Theatre/Beauty & the Beast July 19, Lobster Roll Cruise in Dennis July 26. For details, call 508-991-6171.

Fill your baskets with local produce and plants. To find a farm, vineyard or farmers market near you, visit semaponline.org, pickyourown.org, farmfresh. org, or localharvest.org. To find food events in southeastern Massachusetts, go to ediblesouthshore.com.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

My Brother’s Keeper of Dartmouth and Easton is looking for volunteers and gently-used residential furniture for families in need. Free pickup. Call 774305-4577 or visit mybrotherskeeper.org.

Sign up now for the 24th Annual Buzzards Bay Swim on June 25! For info, go to savebuzzardsbay. org/swim.

Pet Food Aid, a non-profit organization, collects pet food donations and distributes them to food banks throughout Bristol County. Volunteers and donations gratefully accepted. For more info, visit petfoodaid.org or call 774-204-5227.

Aquabotix, the underwater drone company in Fall River, sold out its initial public offering (IPO) stocks on the first day of trading on the Australian Securities Exchange, raising $5.5 million for the company’s expansion.

Acushnet Talk a stroll through the Acushnet Sawmills public park and herring weir! Canoe/kayak launch, fishing, trails. For info, visit savebuzzardsbay.org.

Bristol Check out the Bristol Oyster Festival on June 18 at the DeWolf Tavern! Free admission, DJ, pony rides – a fundraiser for the March of Dimes. For more info, visit dewolftavern.com.

Visit the mansion and gardens at Blithewold! Sign the kids up for Camp Sequoia! For info, call 401-2532707 or go to blithewold.org.

Wander through Linden Place, the elegant mansion used as the setting for the movie The Great Gatsby! For info, call 401-253-0390 or visit lindenplace.org.

Make your plans now to attend the 4th of July celebration in Bristol, home of the oldest continuous Independence Day celebration in America! For more info, visit July4thbristolri.com.

If you’re a boat lover, visit the Herreshoff Marine Museum, home of the America’s Cup Hall of Fame!

For info, call 401-253-5000 or go to herreshoff.org.

Find out who’s playing at the Stone Church Coffeehouse at the First Congregational Church.

For info or tickets, call 401-253-4813 or 401-253-7288.

Check out the 18th-century Home and Hearth Workshops at the Coggeshall Farm Museum!

For details, visit coggeshallfarm.org or call 401-253-9062.

Carver Explore Thomas the Tank Engine Land and Dino Land at Edaville Railroad! For more info, visit edaville.com or call 508-866-8190

Dartmouth Friends Academy will offer a full range of weekly summer enrichment and outdoor programs for children Pre-K-Grade 9 June 12-August 4. For details, visit friendsacademy1810.org.

Take a stroll through Paskamansett Woods, a nature reserve operated by the Dartmouth Natural Resources Trust. For more info, visit dnrt. org. Or go on nature walks at the Lloyd Center for the Environment – sign the kids up for summer programs! For details, call 508-990-0505 or visit lloydcenter.org.

Mark your calendar for the monthly Paskamansett Concert Series at the Dartmouth Grange Hall. Louis Leeman and Jerilyn Karem-Kozak will perform on June 10; Lenny Solomon on July 8. For more info, call 401-241-3793, or visit paskamansettconcertseries. weebly.com.

Easton Check out the Children’s Museum! For info, call 508-230-3789 or visit childrensmuseumineaston. org.

Fairhaven Come one, come all! Don’t miss Fairhaven’s annual Homecoming Day Fair on June 24 – for details, go to fairhaventours.com.

Free “Fitness in Cushman Park” is back! Yoga on Tuesdays (10 weeks) starts June 20 – bring a mat.

Summer Bootcamp (10 Thursdays) starts June 22 – bring a mat plus a set of light weights. Get in shape!

For more info, call 508-287-2482.

Mark your calendars for the annual Father’s Day 10K & 5K Road Races on June 18! For details, go to fairhaventours.com or call 508-979-4085.

Bring a chair for “Lectures on the Lawn” at the Old Stone Schoolhouse about Manjiro and Captain Whitfield on the first and third Saturdays JuneAugust. For dates and details, go to fairhaventours. com or call 508-979-4085.

Take the kids to Monday Morning Fun Days at the Fairhaven Visitors Center on the first and third Mondays of June-August! For details, call 508-9794085 or go to fairhaventours.com.

If you’re interested in the history of Japan-America ties, visit the Whitfield-Manjiro Friendship House, where it all began. Go to wmfriendshiphouse.org or call 508-995-1219 for details.

Pediatric Associates of Fall River, along with The Parent Academy, will offer free informational sessions for the parents of their patients about “Cooking on a Budget” on June 2, June 19 and June 29. For more information call 508-324-6811 ext 360.

The Narrows Center for the Arts has a fabulous lineup – there’s Michael Sweet June 2, John Mayall June 8, The Garcia Project June 10, Ronnie Baker Brooks June 22, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band June 30! Plan ahead for The Steel Wheels on July 6, and Dar Williams & Chris Smither on July 15 at Westport Rivers Vineyard – and more! For a complete schedule, visit narrowscenter.com or call 508-324-1926.

Journey through time and discover a sailor’s life at Battleship Cove, America’s Fleet Museum (508678-1100 or battleshipcove.org) and the Maritime Museum at Battleship Cove (508-674-3533 or battleshipcove.org/maritime-museum). All new tours, interactives and exhibits – visit two museums for the price of one!

Find out what’s going on at the Children’s Museum of Greater Fall River. Reduced admission on the first Friday each month. For info, go to cmgfr.org or call 508-672-0033.

The Fall River Public Library now hosts free afternoon movies (and popcorn!) every Wednesday at 1 p.m., in addition to showings on Monday nights.

For more information, visit the library’s Facebook page or visit fallriverlibrary.org.

Browse through the Oxford Book Café on Saturdays 9 to 1 at the Church of the Good Shepherd. Coffee and homemade snacks, used books on sale, WiFi. To learn more, call 508-9922281 or visit goodshepherdfairhaven.com.

Marion

Fall River

Find out what’s going on at the Marion Art Center!

For info, call 508-748-1266 or visit marionartcenter. org.

Don’t miss the free, family-friendly music festival on June 17 at the UMass Dartmouth Center overlooking South Watuppa Pond! For details, go to ahafallriver.com or call 508-294-5344.

Enjoy “Hollywood Blockbusters” under the tent at Tabor Academy on June 11, performed by the Tri-County Symphonic Band. For more info, go to tricountysymphonicband.org.

Check out “Fall River Portraits – Making Things” at the Narrows Center for the Arts June 3-July 15, a collaborative exhibit of photos taken by students from Diman Vocational High School and UMass Dartmouth. For more info, call 401-575-7339 or go to narrowscenter.com.

Sign the kids up for summer programs at the Marion Natural History Museum! Call 508-7589089 or visit marionmuseum.org.

Plan ahead for the free 15th Annual Block-APalooza in downtown Fall River, featuring NRBQ and Girls, Guns & Glory, on July 13! For info, visit narrowscenter.com or call 508-324-1926.

Find out what’s playing at the Little Theatre! “The Boys Next Door” will be performed on June 15-18 and 22-25. For info, call 508-675-1852 or visit littletheatre.net.

Get outside and enjoy the weather! Explore nature trails or historic landmarks, join a walking group – learn more at walkfallriver.org or call 508-324-2405.

To find out what’s happening in greater Fall River, check out the online events calendars at welovefallriver.com or at ahafallriver.com or call 508-294-5344.

Check out the Children’s Aquarium and Exploration Center of Greater Fall River! Learn more at aquariumgfr.com or call 508-801-4743.

Mattapoisett Explore the trails, wildlife, and scenery of the Mattapoisett River Reserve – leashed dogs welcome. Hike, fish, bird-watch, picnic. For more info, go to savebuzzardsbay.org.

Register now for the Mattapoisett Triathlon on July 9! For details, go to mattapoisettlionsclub.org.

Plan ahead for the “Taste of Summer” Harbor Days at Shipyard Park July 14-16! For info, go to mattapoisettlionsclub.org.

Middleboro Check out the summer schedule at the Soule Homestead! For details, call 508-947-6744 or go to soulehomestead.org.

Continued ON NEXT PAGE

H.H. Rogers WalkingTours

Tues. & Thurs., 10:00 a.m.

Begins at Town Hall, 40 Center St. Learn about a Standard Oil Co. millionaire’s marvelous gifts to his hometown. Outstanding public architecture is featured. Free.

Pirates & Privateers Presentations

Every Friday, 10:00 a.m.

Begins at Fort Phoenix flagpole.

Learn about Fort Phoenix, pirates, and see a swivel cannon firing demonstration. Free.

Old Stone Schoolhouse

Every Saturday, 12:30-4:30 p.m.

40 North Street. A retored one-room school from the 1800s teaches about the early days of education.

Lectures. Kid’s activities. Free.

Father’s Day Road Race

Sunday, June 18, 9:00 a.m.

Starts at Hastings Middle School 10K and 5K races with cash prizes feature top New England runners.

Registration at www.jbrace.com.

Homecoming Day Fair

Saturday, June 24, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

40 Center Street 175 booths of arts & crafts, food, live entertainment, children’s activities sponsored by the Fairhaven Improvement Association.

TOWN OF FAIRHAVEN

Visitors Center & Fairhaven Museum

141 Main Street, Fairhaven, MA

508-979-4085 FairhavenTours@aol.com M,T,Th,F 8:00 - 4:30; Sat. 8 - 12 & Old Stone School 12:30-4:30

http://FairhavenTours.com

The South Coast Insider | June 2017

33

Continued FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

Middletown Get in touch with nature at the Norman Bird Sanctuary. Plan ahead for the 11th Annual 5K Run on June 17! For details, call 401-846-2577 or go to normanbirdsanctuary.org.

New Bedford Oooh! Aaah! Take the kids to see the “Science on a Sphere” at the Buttonwood Park Zoo! For info, call 508-991-6178 or visit bpzoo.org.

Visit the New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park! For more info, go to nps.gov/nebe.

And while you’re there, visit the Whaling Museum, and the newly reopened Seamen’s Bethel across the street! For more info, visit whalingmuseum.org or call 508-997-0046.

Get back to your musical roots at Common Fence Music! For a schedule, call 401-683-5085 or visit commonfencemusic.org.

If you’re a fan of Americana and roots music, check out “Music in the Gallery” at the Wamsutta Club.

Ellis Paul will perform on June 16. For tickets or info, go to brownpapertickets.com/events or contact korolenko8523@charter.net.

The Wilbury Group will perform “Spring Awakening” through June 4. For info and tickets, call 401-400-7100 or visit thewilburygroup.org.

Newport

Don’t miss the New Bedford Jazz Fest on June 10 at Pier 3! For details, call 508-993-0772 or go to destinationnewbedford.org.

The Great Chowder Cook-Off will be held at Fort Adams on June 10! For info, go to newportwaterfrontevents.com.

Mark your calendars now for the free and family-friendly “Reggae on West Beach” Summer Series, on the last Sunday of the month through September, starting June 25! For details, go to destinationnewbedford.org.

Don’t miss the Newport Flower Show at Rosecliff June 23-25! For tickets and info, go to newportmansions.org or newportflowershow.org.

Avoid all the Cape Cod traffic and bridges! Take a high-speed passenger ferry from State Pier in New Bedford to Martha’s Vineyard or Nantucket! For info and summer schedule, visit seastreak.com.

Take a boat tour of historic New Bedford Harbor or a sunset cruise aboard Whaling City Expeditions!

For info, call 508-207-6994 or go to whalingcityexpeditions.com.

Plan ahead for the New Bedford Folk Festival July 8-9! The Boston Globe voted it “one of New England’s greatest celebrations!” For complete details, visit newbedfordfolkfestival.com.

Explore the whaling-era mansion and gardens at the Rotch-Jones-Duff House! Check out their schedule of concerts, special exhibits and lectures.

For more info, call 508-997-1401 or go to rjdmuseum.org.

Enjoy free family fun and entertainment on AHA! Nights. The June 8 theme is “Launch: New Spaces, New Places.” The July 13 theme is “Kids Rule!” For details, go to ahanewbedford.org or call 508-996-8253.

Go on a guided tour of Narragansett Bay past lighthouses, mansions, and Newport Harbor! Free dockside parking. For more info, visit rhodeislandbaycruises.com or call 401-295-4040.

Take a guided hike through Ballard Park on Father’s Day, June 18! For more info, call 401-6193377 or go to ballardpark.org.

Watch the Clagett Memorial Clinic and Regatta June 21-25! For details, call 401-846-4470 or visit clagettregatta.org.

Check out the Secret Garden Tours of Newport’s historic properties June 16-18! For more info, call 401-439-7253 or go to secretgardentours.org.

Enjoy a dinner-theatre night out at the Newport Playhouse! “Lunch with Mrs. Baskin” will be performed through June 29. “Baggage” will be performed July 6-September 2. For more information, call 401-848-7529 or go to newportplayhouse.com.

Don’t miss the “Crafts, Garden & Botanicals” show on June 10 at the historic Elks Lodge. The show will feature the work of local artisans with live music and food trucks. For more info, call 401-683-3447 or contact ladedart@gmail.com.

Plymouth

It’s all happening at the Z! Don’t miss The B-52s June 3, George Thorogood and the Destroyers June 6, The Cult June 9 – and more! Plan ahead for the New Bedford Folk Festival July 8-9, Dave Mason July 11, and the New Bedford Festival Theatre’s production of “My Fair Lady” July 21-23, 27-30! For info, call 508-994-2900 or go to zeiterion.org.

Find out who’s on stage at the Spire Center for the Performing Arts of Greater Plymouth! There’s Billy McLaughlin June 2, “I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change” June 9-18, Roomful of Blues June 24 – and more! For tickets and info, call 508-746-4488 or visit spirecenter.org.

Take a stroll through the Allen G. Haskell Public Gardens! For details, call 508-636-4693 or go to thetrustees.org.

Plan ahead for the Plymouth Philharmonic’s Independence Day Celebration on the waterfront July 4! For info, call 508-746-8008 or go to plymouthphil.org.

Relive American military history at Fort Taber-Fort Rodman! Visit the 10th Annual WWII Living History Encampment June 10-11. For info, call 508-994-3938 or visit forttaber.org.

Mark your calendars! New Bedford will host a Food Truck and Craft Beer Festival on July 15 at Fort Taber! To learn more, go to foodtruckfestivalsofamerica.com.

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

Portsmouth Enjoy live music at the Greenvale Vineyards! For event info, call 401-847-3777 or visit greenvale.com.

Visit the whimsical Green Animals Topiary Gardens! For more info, call 401-683-1267 or go to newportmansions.org.

Providence Go on a romantic Venetian gondola ride through the heart of Providence! Celebrate a special event or get up close to WaterFire! For reservations, call 401-421-8877 or visit gondolari.com.

Check out the special exhibit of rarely-seen Impressionist works at the Rhode Island School of Design Museum through June 11. For more info, call 401-454-6500 or go to risdmuseum.org.

Find out what’s on stage at the Providence Performing Arts Center! Don’t miss Riverdance June 2-4, Diana Krall June 18, Bob Dylan June 21 – Plan ahead for Wheels of Soul July 7, Elvis Costello July 25! For details, call 401-421-2787 or go to ppacri. org.

Don’t miss Trinity Rep’s performance of “Like Sheep to Water” through June 11. For info, call 401351-4242 or go to trinityrep.com.

Show up hungry for the two-day “Crave RI” food and drink festival at the Dunkin Donuts Center June 15-16! The family-friendly fundraiser is sponsored by CVS Health. For tickets, go to ticketmaster. com/charityclassic.

Celebrate Gaspee Days through June 11! For a schedule of events, call 401-781-1772 or go to gaspee.com.

Go on a leisurely boat ride through the waterways of Providence! For details, go to providenceriverboat.com or call 401-580-2628.

Check out the schedule at the Dunkin Donuts Center! There’s The Chainsmokers June 7! For more info, call 401-331-6700 or visit dunkindonutscenter. com.

Mama Mia! Plan for the 18th Annual Federal Hill Stroll on June 6! For details, visit federalhillstroll. com or call 401-456-0298.

Bring a lawn chair to watch free movies at sunset every Thursday June through August at Grant’s Block in DownCity Providence! For info and a schedule, go to moviesontheblock.com.

Find out who’s playing at “Concerts Under the Elms” on Thursday evenings June 29-August 3 at the John Brown House Museum, sponsored by the Rhode Island Historical Society! For details, go to rihs.org.

Explore the Children’s Museum in Providence! Go to childrenmuseum.org or call 401-273-5437.

Take the kids to the Roger Williams Park and Zoo! Visit the Museum of Natural History & Planetarium, the Botanical Gardens, then check out the new “Explore and Soar” area, with camel rides and a zipline! For more info, go to rwpzoo.org or call 401-785-3510.

Stroll through Providence’s Festival of Historic Houses and gardens on June 2-3, sponsored by the Providence Preservation Society. For details, go to providencehousetour.com or ppsri.org.

Tiverton There’s always something going on at Tiverton Four Corners! Plan ahead for the Antiques Festival July 4 and the Arts & Artisans Summer Festival July 18! For more info, go to tivertonfourcorners.com.

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There’s Bob Dylan Tribute June 3 – and more! For a complete schedule, go to sandywoodsmusic.com or call 401-241-7349.

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Wareham Don’t miss the free “Summer of Love” Concert Series at the Onset Band Shell June 28- August 30!

Or the free Onset Film Festival June 29-August 17!

And plan ahead for free Midsummer Shakespeare starting in July! For details, go to onsetbay.org.

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Make a splash at Water Wizz! For more info, call 508-295-3255 or go to waterwizz.com.

The Vietnam Memorial “Moving Wall” will be on display in Wareham August 17-21.

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Warren Check out what’s playing at 2nd Story Theatre!

Call 401-247-4200 or go to 2ndstorytheatre.com.

Westport The Sunset Music Series at Westport Rivers Winery starts on June 6 with Rebecca Correia. Pack a picnic and a corkscrew! $10/carload when tickets are purchased in advance. For more info, call 508636-3423 or visit westportrivers.com.

Enjoy free, family-friendly fun at River Day on June 10! For more info, go to westportwatershed.org.

Don’t miss the Wine, Cheese, and Chocolate Festival on June 17 at the Westport Fairgrounds! To learn more, go to coastalwinetrail.com/events.

Plan ahead for Dar Williams & Chris Smither performing on July 15 at the Westport Rivers Vineyard, sponsored by the Westport River Watershed Alliance and the Narrows Center for the Arts! For details, visit narrowscenter.com.

Take a leisurely walk around rural Westport – go to westportlandtrust.org.

Explore 18th and 19th-century life at the Handy House. For more info, visit wpthistory.org or call 508-636-6011.

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The South Coast Insider | June 2017

35

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

New Bedford Folk Festival returns

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he Zeiterion Performing Arts Center presents the 22nd Annual New Bedford Folk Festival with an impressive lineup of the best in contemporary, Americana, traditional, blues, and Celtic folk music on Saturday, July 8, and Sunday, July 9. The exciting roster of artists includes Aoife O’Donovan, Bill Harley, Catie Curtis, and Joshua Davis, 2015 finalist on NBC’s The Voice.

The festival runs from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. both days and is located in the Zeiterion Performing Arts Center and throughout the ten downtown city blocks that make up the Whaling National Historical Park. Tickets ranging from day passes to a full weekend VIP pass are $22.50 to $140 (Children under 12 are free) and are available by calling 508-994-2900, online at newbedfordfolkfestival.com, or at the

The full lineup of performers is: Anna and Elizabeth, Benoit Bourque and Antoine Pigeon-Bourque, Kevin Burke, Copley Street, J.P. Cormier, Catie Curtis, Jeff Davis, Joshua Davis, Yann Falquet and Pascal Gemme, David Francey, Vance Gilbert, Sam Gleaves and Tyler Hughes, Seth Glier, Jefferson Hamer, Ry Cavanaugh and Laura Cortese of Session Americana, Bill Harley, Winifred Horan, Joe Jencks, The Jeremiahs, David Jones, Pete and Maura Kennedy, Jim Kweskin, Patty Larkin, Peter Mulvey, New Bedford Harbor Sea Chantey Chorus, The Nields, Aoife O’Donovan, Chris Pahud, Steven Pelland, Pete’s Posse, Dan Plews, Harvey Reid and Joyce Anderson, Lucy Wainwright Roche, Sally Rogers and Howie Bursen, Art Tebbetts, Hiroya Tsukamoto, and Susan Werner.

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Zeiterion box office at 684 Purchase Street.

The New Bedford Folk Festival presents 83 shows on eight stages in and around the National Park, which range from the 1200-seat Zeiterion Performing Arts Center to the intimacy of the “Meet the Performer” area. Performers are presented in concerts and in the popular festival “workshops” that feature three or four performers or groups on stage at the same time in one-time, unique shows. The festival also features a family performance and activity stage, an open mic stage, and a high-quality crafts show with over eighty juried artisans. A food court features a variety of food vendors including the world-famous New Bedford-landed fish and scallops.

Thousands of people from New England and across the nation attend the festival over the weekend, making it a major destination for that summer weekend. It has been recognized as one of “New England’s Greatest Celebrations” by The Boston Globe and “Editor’s Choice” by Yankee Magazine.

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The South Coast Insider | June 2017

37

On MY Mind

Into the woods

By Paul Kandarian

I’ve started walking a lot in the great outdoors, because it’s free. It beats going to the gym (not free), plus there’s no stupid rule about disinfecting whatever you touch even if you’re not sweating. Mother nature doesn’t care. Mother nature cleans her own way.

At the gym, they leave rolls of paper towels and spray bottles all over the place, and signs promoting their use, so all day you have people tearing off great swaths of towels, dousing them with spray, and wiping down exercise equipment even if they’ve not sweat a single salty droplet.

Mind you, this is the same gym franchise where they put up little signs on the hand dryers in the locker room saying how many trees are being saved by not using paper towels, apparently completely forgetting they go through a forest a day because of that silly wipe-down-the-nonsweaty-equipment rule.

Anyway, now I take random hikes wherever I am, like the Slocum River Reserve in Dartmouth, Horseneck Beach, Westport Town Farm, and the Red Brook Pond Conservation Area in Plymouth, each diverse, different, delightful, and easily walked.

And although I’ve just started this whole hiking thing, like many people new to a hobby I am an expert because I love talking about it on social media, where the definition of expert is “mocking people who don’t know nearly as much as you do.”

Case in point: I had flu symptoms recently, and first mentioned them on

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June 2017 | The South Coast Insider

Facebook where many “doctors” weighed in, and by “doctors,” I mean anyone with an opinion, not an actual medical degree.

Many of these online doctors said I needed to get checked for Lyme disease, which comes from deer ticks, which are in abundance in the places I walk. So I went to my doctor, a real one with an actual

So as a newly-minted hiking expert, I have learned quite a bit already from my walks, mostly how easy it is to get lost. degree, who gave me a test for Lyme. It was negative. Still feeling crappy, days later I got a flu test. It was positive. I’m thinking of using my social media law degree – my opinions on Facebook – to sue all those online “doctors” for malpractice.

So as a newly-minted hiking expert, I have learned quite a bit already from my walks, mostly how easy it is to get lost.

You get to a place and no matter how rudimentary and innocuous the trail looks – even if it’s a simple-seeming loop – the next thing you know, angry Orcs are chasing you through caves brimming with giant hiker-eating insects.

“Oh, what the heck, it’s like one loop, how hard can that be?” you might say and head off cavalierly and you’d be an idiot and you would be me three hours later wondering where I am.

So I’ve created a list for people setting out in the woods with all good intentions and minimal brains. Again, that would be me.

Always charge your damn phone for taking photos of Mother Nature’s loveliness but mostly for GPS, because you will get lost and Mother Nature won’t seem so lovely anymore. n

Just in case, always bring one of the million portable phone chargers you have at home and never really use, since now would be a good time. n

And that portable charger? Don’t forget to charge the damn thing first, because what good’s a dead phone and a dead portable charger, not like that happens, no, not to me… n

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Oh, and bring it with you on the hike, you idiot, what good is it doing you back in the car, and good lord, is that an Orc chasing me? I know it is, crap! n

n Always… make that always, bring toilet paper. If you ask why, you’re too stupid to hike.

Find a hiking app and then have someone explain how to use it so you don’t get deep in the woods unable to figure it out and it’s getting really dark and all Orc-y out here. Oh, look a cave! What’s that buzzing sound in there? Mother Nature? Is that you? n

Umm… anyone know where I can find a good hiking app? Like now? n

Always bring water and resist the urge to just take a sip out of that quaint little babbling brook you happened upon that looks clean but is brimming with more deadly pathogens than the CDC’s Bin of Certain Prolonged Agonizing Death. n

Did I mention to always bring toilet paper, just in case those pathogens act faster than the GOP creating a bogus health-care plan, speaking of toilet paper? n

Always let loved ones know where you’re going in case the pathogens put you in a coma and you’re lost for days and they may want to call authorities or maybe wait a week or so, depending on just how much “love” they attribute to the term “loved one.” n

Bring bug spray that will help you avoid deer ticks and online experts. Case in point: I found a deer tick on my pants, put a picture of it on Facebook and said it was a deer tick, then got swarmed by online “entomologists” who apparently knew better and swore so vehemently and angrily that it was not a deer tick it was like I just told them they were adopted. n

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n Don’t go on Facebook claiming you’ve seen a deer tick even if you plan to die from Lyme disease. It’s just not worth it.

I cannot state this enough, especially today when I got lost on a simple-seeming loop through the damn woods when my damn cellphone went dead and the lure of a babbling brook was too much, but always bring toilet paper. n

So enjoy your time in the great outdoors!

Follow these simple rules, and Mother Nature will not mock you on Facebook.

Everyone else will.

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The South Coast Insider | June 2017

39

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