8 minute read
Fall drops
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Fall drops
by Paul Kandarian
IT IS NOVEMBER, and many have waxed “November is dark, dreary, wet, and poetic about this month in particular, and miserable, it can’t make up its freaking autumn in general. mind to rain or snow so it does both at
Sarah Addison Allen takes the culi- once, usually during the morning or night nary approach about November with “It commute from the traffic hell hole that is looked like the world was covered in a wherever you’re trying to get to or leave cobbler crust of brown sugar and cinna- from, it gets dark wicked early, everyone mon,” while Albert Camus, no stranger has seasonal affective disorder and it’s to deep thoughts, once said “Autumn only the first damn month in what feels is a second spring when every leaf is a like eight long damn months of damn flower.” winter,” a quote attributable to every New
Lauren DeStefano Englander who has sees the leaf pile as half full with her Did you know ever lived. But November, like quote: “Fall has always the first Friday all months, is packed with days of obserbeen my favorite season. The time of November vance – those times set aside to honor a when everything cause, a disease, a bursts with its last beauty, as if nature is “Love Your product, a place or to just be completehad been saving up all year for the grand Lawyer Day?” ly silly. Did you know the first Friday of finale,” as does Jim November is “Love Bishop with “Autumn carries more gold in Your Lawyer Day?” Stop laughing, it’s its pocket than all the other seasons.” a thing, created by a Florida lawyer and
From his room with a view perhaps is marketer, Nader Anise, who is also the where author E.M. Forster observed “The founder of the American Lawyers Public house was very quiet, and the fog – we Image Association, which face it, is the are in November now – pressed against most impossible job in the world. the windows like an excluded ghost,” Got something to say? We’re all ears on while the musically optimistic Chad Sugg November 23, aka National Listening Day, says “Love the trees until their leaves fall when Americans are encouraged to set off, then encourage them to try again aside time to record the stories of faminext year.” lies and friends, proposed as an alterna-
And Anne Bosworth Greene, the late tive to Black Friday. great nature writer, hit the natural nail on Speaking of which, if you’d prefer to the head describing November as having march ‘til you drop rather than shop, “a sort of delightful menace in the air.” check out “Buy Nothing Day” the day af-
And of course, the ever-popular ter Thanksgiving, held in protest against
consumerism that involves demonstrations, sit-ins and, I kid you not because I’m afraid of them, a “Zombie Walk,” where volunteer zombies wander malls with blank stares and explain “Buy Nothing Day” to befuddled shoppers before, I assume, eating their flesh.
How are ya, what’s new, how’s it going? Say that and more on November 21, “National Hello Day,” created in the hopes that conflicts can be resolved through communication rather than the use of force, a lofty goal that, given there really has never been a time when there’s not war raging somewhere around the globe.
World Philosophy Day is an international day proclaimed by UNESCO comes into being every third Thursday of November. Or does it? Hmmm?
Silly as World Toilet Day on November 19 sounds, it is an actual United Nations observance day to tackle the global sanitation crisis because worldwide, 4.2 billion of us live without safe sanitation options. Think of that the next time you’re lucky enough to be relaxing with a magazine in a comfy loo.
Hungry? November is your month, with tasty days sprinkled throughout, odes to everything from banana pudding to vinegar and everything in between, including hot sauce, nachos, pickles, espresso, deviled eggs, French toast and more. Honoring all that grub makes perfect sense that November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day.
In closing, and in observance of November being an election month, I’d like to add it is now National Impotency Month, which has nothing to do with the Republicans in Congress, much as it sounds like it should.
Happy winter, people! All eight damn months of it.
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