South Coast Prime Times – July/August 2015

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CONTENTS in every issue

10 4

From the publisher

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24 In Brief…

by Elizabeth Morse Read

140 Purchase St. Fall River, MA 1,925 sq. ft./1st floor

prime living

10 The art of trying something new

by Joyce Rowley

12 Your city directory:

peephole to the past

by Alice Annie Wilson

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The truth about elder abuse

by Elizabeth Morse Read

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6 Hot ideas for

a cool summer

by Michael J. Vieira

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Going rowing

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Over-55 communities

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24 S o u t h

Bernard P. Giroux 150 Purchase Street, Fall River, MA 508-677-9500 Office 774-273-3278 Mobile

As you’re trying to make the most of the summer, remember that a trip to Battleship Cove in Fall River can be the perfect way to spend a Saturday. Help them celebrate 50 years as a local landmark! And don’t forget to stop by the Marine Museum, just up the street! Learn more at www.

BattleshipCove.org and www.MarineMuseumFR.org.

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FROM THE PUBLISHER July/August 2015 n Vol. 11 n No. 4 Published by

Coastal Communications Corp.

Publisher and Editor-in-Chief

Hot enough for you yet? I hope not, because things are just heating up in the South Coast and our summer schedules are just getting started!

Ljiljana Vasiljevic Editor

Sebastian Clarkin

For some personalized suggestions, check Michael J. Vieira’s picks starting on page 6.

Whether you’re looking for leisure, adventure, or just a nice place for dinner, the region has a wealth of options.

Online editor

Paul Letendre Contributors

Paul Kandarian, Sean McCarthy, Jay Pateakos, Elizabeth Morse Read, Joyce Rowley, Michael J. Vieira, and Alice Annie Wilson South Coast Prime Times is published bi-monthly.

Copyright ©2015 Coastal Communications Corp.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, by any means, without written permission from the Publisher. All information contained herein is believed to be reliable. Coastal Communications Corp. does not assume any financial responsibility for typographical errors in advertisements, but will reprint that portion of an advertisement in which the typographical error occurs.

Next issue August 12, 2015

Circulation 25,000

If you’re a go-getter who wants to make the most of every sunny day, then you’ll definitely want to read Sean McCarthy’s article on page 14. He interviewed members of the Buzzards Bay Rowing Club, but there’s only two things you really need to know. First, they all love getting out on the water. Second, they want you to join them!

Maybe summer is too hectic for you and you’d rather take the time to stop and smell the roses. If so, then why not try painting the roses too? Joyce Rowley’s article on page 10 details the up-and-coming trend of paint parties.

Finally, I want to bring particular attention to all the events we have listed starting on page 24. If you don’t want to go through all those pages, we’ve made our own recommendations for events on page 26 and destinations on page 29.

No matter how you like to enjoy warmer weather, I’m sure that something in this issue of South Coast Prime Times will inspire you to make the most of it while it lasts. So paint a picture, run a race, listen to some music, see a show, treat the kids, explore nature, or just enjoy your backyard. We’ll be here next issue with even more stuff to excite you.

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M ailing address South Coast Prime Times P.O. Box 3493 Fall River, MA 02722

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PRIME SEASON

Battleship Cove, Fall River

Hot ideas for a cool summer Michael J. Vieira

After the long, snowy winter, summer in the South Coast is more appreciated this year than usual. Just being able to open the windows and sit outside is a treat, but there’s much more to do in the region.

The local beaches are all open, but most will be crowded on the weekends. One of the benefits of being retired is being able to hit the hot sand during the week. If you’re still working, take a day off and enjoy.

Horseneck Beach features 600 acres of sand and surf, as well as a 100-acre campsite. For a little more relaxing spot, which also features hiking trails, check out Demarest Lloyd State Park in Dartmouth, MA. You can also visit the town beaches in Swansea or Somerset.

Turn off the GPS, or better yet, set a destination using MapQuest or another free app and shut off the “highways” option.

You’ll end up on some of the most scenic roads in the area and will probably pass at least one ice cream place or clam shack.

Stop at one.

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For years, Somerset Creamery on Route 6 in Somerset was the “go to” spot. (www.SomersetCreamery.com) The Creamery now has another location on Route 138 (County Street) in Somerset and another on Route 28 A in Cataumet on Cape Cod. Also worth a ride is Gray’s Ice Cream, located way down Main Road in Tiverton’’s Four Corners. For other scenic trips that can result in some great ice cream tastes, be sure to explore Simmons Market in Little Compton, Lickety Splits in Westport and KoolKone (www.KoolKone.com) in Wareham.

Enjoy the trip, which many of us took back in the day when Sunday drives were in vogue, and the quaint shops that are also in the area.

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Head downtown Sometimes, it’s best to park the car and go for a walk. Downtown New Bedford has become an exciting destination with great restaurants and cool pubs. No Problemo (www.NoProblemoTaqueria.com) is consistently good, but dNB Burgers (www.dnbburgers.com) has been getting rave reviews.

Visit the New Bedford Whaling Museum (www.WhalingMuseum.org) or just stroll the streets where Herman Melville was inspired. Unlike some cities, many of the old buildings remain. Check out the Zeiterion Theatre (www.Zeiterion. org) for concerts and events ranging from David Crosby to the New Bedford Festival (www.nbfestivaltheatre.com) production of Mary Poppins.

If you’re a fan of the stage, you’ll also want to check out Fall River’s Little Theatre. Among their upcoming productions is Heroes in July (www.littletheatre. net/2015-2016-season.html).

The New Bedford Folk Festival features classics like Tom Rush and John Hammond as well as newer, local talents like

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It’s happening every day at the Y — people of all ages are getting healthier and living better through fitness, sports, fun and shared interests. Join us.

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Each day at the Y, people of all ages are coming together to get and stay active. Seniors are engaging in social activities and meeting others who share common interests and passions.

They’re participating in group exercise and aquatics classes and learning about proper nutrition. And they’re working side-by-side with our Wellness Coaches to develop more active, productive lives.

Sometimes, you can go back home. In my case, our family home, my elementary school and junior high are gone as is St. Elizabeth’s church, where we prayed and feasted. But there are still a few landmarks left for most of us in our old neighborhoods. Go back and see what’s still there.

For me, one of my favorite bike rides was on and around Laurel Street in Fall River’s South End. The old Liberal Club is not in good shape, but the “new” club thrives.

Located on Star Street, there’s often a line to get in the restaurant. Go during the day and enjoy the seafood and old-school ambience. A 16-ounce Budweiser is only

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$2.50, and you pay the “bar maid.” Dinner is affordable, but current seafood prices are making an impact. There’s no website, but TripAdvisor and Yelp can provide more info.

Also on my old bike route are some classics like Nick’s Hot Dogs on South Main Street, although the owner of legend, “Dirty Nick,” who piled the wieners up his arm is long gone. Also on South Main heading toward Tiverton, is Hartley’s Pork Pies, a holdover from when the English worked in and later owned the mills, and Mee Sum, where a chow mein sandwich is king.

Again, don’t look for websites for these places. (There is also a Hartley’s in Somerset, but the Fall River location is the original.)

Head up the hill to McGovern’s Family Restaurant, founded by the late Paul McGovern who got his start at the counter in McWhirr’s Department Store in downtown Fall River. The family still runs the facility, and there’s just about everything on the amazingly huge menu. For my family, the boneless fried chicken always seems to be our choice. (www.mcgovernsonthewater.com/family-restaurant)

FITNESS FUN & FRIENDS

Grace Morrison and Matt Borrello. The two-day festival will be held July 4-5. (www.NewBedfordFolkFestival.com) Later in the summer, the world’s largest Portuguese festa, the Feast of the Blessed Sacrament, runs from July 30-August 2 (www.PortugueseFeast. com).

Also worth the trip to the Whaling City is the upcoming visit of the NRP Sagres. The three-masted barque is the educational ship of the Portuguese Navy and features the cross on its sails made famous by Prince Henry and the Navigators. It will be open for public visitation on July 8 and 9. (www.whalingmuseum. org/programs/nrp-sagres-visit-to-NewBedford-2015)

Dinoland at Edaville R ailroad, Carver

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Continued from previous page

South Coast A rtists Open Studio Tours in July and August

the train into South Station. (MBTA.com) For less than you’ll probably spend for parking, you can ride hassle-free and enjoy the day in Boston. For a quicker, even less expensive trip, brave Route 24 and park in the Quincy Adams garage off Routes 32 and Interstate 93. Take the Red Line into downtown Boston, then hop the Green or other subway lines to your location.

Tiverton and Warren are also not far away for many in the South Coast. You can take a Rhode Island Public Transportation Authority bus (RIPTA.com) into Newport or downtown Providence. For $6 you can ride all day!

Beginning at the end of June, the Block Island Ferry returns to serve the South Coast. Although it’s a longer ride from Fall River and times are limited, it’s a good escape. (www.BlockIslandFerry. com). The ferry leaves the State Pier in Fall River at 8:30 a.m. and leaves Block Island at 4:45.

From New Bedford’s state pier, it’s a one hour trip to Martha’s Vineyard by ferry.

From there, you can also take another ferry to Nantucket if you want. Leaving and returning to the Whaling City, there are several times to choose from and parking is available for a fee. (www.seastreak.com/newbedschedules.aspx)

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For art lovers Downtown New Bedford, the mills of Fall River, and surrounding towns like Warren, Bristol and Tiverton, RI are great places to check out and to purchase local art. Be sure to visit Chuck Boucher in the Narrows Center for the Arts and Brian Fox in Commonwealth Landing, both in Fall River.

South Coast Artists, a local non-profit organization, is hosting “Studio Surf” on July 19 -20 and Aug. 16-17. The tour includes artists exhibiting in a variety of mediums, including painting, encaustic, pastel, watercolor, photography, sculp-

ture, wood, metal, ceramics, jewelry, textiles and basketry. Each weekend will feature artists actually working and demonstrating in their studios. For more information visit www.southcoastartists. org.

In addition to local artists, who will be featured on July 18 at the 28th annual Arts and Artisan Festival, Tiverton Four Corners is hosting a Cultural Survival Bazaar on July 25 - 26. Look for traditional crafts, artwork, clothing live music and more. For more information about these and other events, go to www.tivertonfourcorners.com

For other not-so-morbid tourist stops, check out 90 Great Things to Do in Massachusetts on www.VisitNewEngland. com (www.visit-massachusetts.com/state/90-great-thingsto-do-in-massachusetts or scan QR code). There are also links to things in nearby Rhode Island and elsewhere.

The Massachusetts South Coast website also lists attractions (www.ma-southcoast.com/attractions.html or scan QR code), but beware: some of the restaurants listed are no longer open.

In the end, it might be best to just get in your car or hop a bus and have an adventure. It’s finally summer. Go play outside!

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Play tourist This summer, the Battleship Massachusetts celebrates its 50th anniversary in Fall River. If you haven’t been yet, it’s time to walk the decks of “Big Mamie” and her sister ships in the Cove (www.

BattleshipCove.org) The nearby Marine Museum is hosting a number of special programs this summer and features model ships, including one that was used in a movie about the Titanic. You can also see artifacts and learn about the Fall River Line steamships (www.MarineMuseumFR.org).

While you’re in the area, you might want to stop at The Cove Restaurant and see the amazing transformation from a seedy bar to a beautiful destination. Sit on the deck, have a drink and maybe some food, and enjoy the view. (www.cove392.com) Another great spot to enjoy Fall River’s waterfront is the Tipsy Seagull. (www.

TheTipsySeagull.com). A new upper deck opened just in time for the season. It’s worth navigating the construction along Route 79 – but it’s easier if you have a boat.

Lizzie Borden is back in the spotlight, thanks to The Lizzie Borden Chronicles on Lifetime. There’s not much to the series that’s historically accurate, so if you want to learn about Fall River’s famous murderer, visit the Fall River Historical Society on Rock Street, or the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast Museum (www.lizzie-borden.com) on Second Street, where the murders took place.

You can also drive by Maplecroft on French Street, which is currently undergoing restoration. Finally, the Borden family plot is located in Oak Grove Cemetery in Fall River. You can find “Lizbeth” in plot 174. (www.friendsofoakgrovecemetery.org/) While you’re in the cemetery, pay homage to Dr. Lewis Latimer, considered to be one of the top ten African-American inventors in the country. He was a pioneer in the development of the electric light bulb and was part of Thomas Edison’s research team (www.ideafinder. com/history/inventors/latimer.htm).

M ichael V ieir a , ph.d. has written for several newspapers and magazines including “The South Coast Insider” and “South Coast Prime Times”.

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PRIME LIVING

The art of trying something new B y J oyce Rowley

Have you ever wished you could paint that perfect beach scene with a sailboat on the horizon and children splashing in the surf? Or maybe the light fell through your kitchen window just right, making a sunlit frame around your sleeping cat?

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really white, Santos says, but may have undertones of blues, browns or greens, for example.

The class size is comfortable—10 to 12 people—many of whom return for the camaraderie as well as to learn new techniques and hone their skills. Coffee brews and the class chats while Santos sets up the table easels, subject photographs, paints and canvases.

“I always liked drawing when I was a kid,” said Norman Bernstein. “My daughter got me a gift certificate to a drawing class 20 years ago.”

never painted before in all my life,” said Betty Dussault. “I never knew I had it in me.”

Dussault said that her friends convinced her to take the class two years ago, but then they dropped out. She kept coming.

Her last piece was a portrait of her son’s two pugs that she’ll give to her son when she visits him in North Carolina.

“Students have input into the choice of subject. They can bring in something that they’ve been working on and work alongside us,” Santos said.

Classes are ongoing with new classes starting every six weeks. A small fee covers all equipment from paint, brushes, canvas and table easel to the subject photograph that you’ll work from.

Five weeks later, the still life is almost done. Each student walks away with a sense of accomplishment and a painting that is unique to their technique and perspective.

If you just want to test the waters, Painting with a Splash may be for you. Invite your family and friends to a painting

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But if you’ve never painted before, you might not know where to start or what to use or…well, how to paint. Here are two opportunities right here on the South Coast that are inexpensive, and best of all fun!

Learn how to oil paint in just six weeks.

Stop by the Buttonwood Senior Center in New Bedford any Wednesday morning around 9:30 a.m. and you’ll find freelance illustrator Ryan Santos teaching the Traditional Oil Painting class. You’ll get one-on-one instruction in oil painting on canvas starting from canvas preparation and ending with a finished painting suitable for framing.

“People enjoy my teaching in the classical technique,” said Santos. “In traditional oil painting, we build up layers of drawing. First we prepare the canvas, then we add tons. Color comes later on.”

Santos said it was less of a struggle to learn than “throwing the student into color” before they understood how color is created on the canvas. White is not

I NEVER PAINTED BEFORE IN ALL MY LIFE - I NEVER KNEW I HAD IT IN ME

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Bernstein has been painting at the Senior Center now for ten years. He gives his paintings away: his grandson has seven hanging on his bedroom wall, he says.

“I have to say he’s a wonderful teacher. I

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party at one of two locations: downtown New Bedford or Taunton Green, or to a party in your own backyard.

Painting with a Splash will supply everything you need from brushes and paint to easels and canvases. A professional artist will provide a step-by-step lesson to create a masterpiece in one session.

“We’ve done birthday parties for all ages—from kids’ parties to people in their 90s,” said owner Debbie Trahan. “Most people haven’t painted before. It makes for a nice gathering of friends.”

It’s a family-run business with Trahan’s two sons, two daughters-in-law, and three grandchildren all pitching in.

Trahan got the idea for the business on a recent trip to California. “They’ve been doing painting party businesses for five or six years,” Trahan says. “Some places have laser painting, some paint on canvas.

We offer acrylic painting on canvas, and we also offer painting on wine glasses as keepsakes.”

At the end of the session, guests bring home their work of art along with a framed commemorative photograph of them individually with their painting and in a group shot.

Now in its second year, Trahan’s outfit has gone mobile. She has held painting parties at several Council on Aging-sponsored events in elderly housing complexes in New Bedford and Fall River. She has also brought the mobile painting parties the New Bedford Whaling Museum for children and adult painting events.

“This time of year people want to be outside, especially after a long winter,” said Trahan. “I just had someone ask us to come to a beach party. And others want to have it in their backyard as part of an outdoor gathering.”

Whether you want to just dive in or learn how to paint in depth—or maybe even do both—make this the summer that you explored your inner artist.

For more information on the Traditional Oil Painting classes, stop by the Buttonwood Senior Center to sign up or contact Ryan Santos at 508-982-2329. For info on Painting with a Splash, visit www.

PaintingwithaSplash.com.

J oyce Rowley is a freelance writer and regular contributor to “The South Coast Insider” and “South Coast Prime Times”.

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PRIME LIVING

Your city directory:

peephole to the past B y A lice A nnie W ilson

Some people love genealogy and historical research, and others aren’t really into it all that much. Even if you fall into the second group, it can be fun and interesting to quickly find out about your ancestors, or even about the house you live in.

Here in the South Coast, we are fortunate to have excellent genealogy libraries in New Bedford, Fall River, and Providence. But without going completely into researching original documents, you can use online sources to find interesting tidbits about your people and community.

New Bedford’s first City Directory was issued in 1836.

That one, and some later ones, are available online for free at www.WhalingCity.net.

Directory direction When you click to open one of these books, you will see interesting old ads and descriptions of areas of the city.

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These can bring you back into a vanished world. Reading the business directory helps you get an impression of the city in that year. Some names are familiar, having survived in some form to the present day.

Others are no longer part of the life of New Bedford, like: H.C. Lawton, Practical Horse-Shoer and Jobber Particular attention given to interfering, over-reaching, and lame horses.

Organizations and social clubs were important parts of the community. Maybe your ancestor belonged to the Daughters of Pocahontas or the Loyal Knights and Ladies.

From year to year you can see

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the changes that came along.

For example, starting in 1906, the New Bedford City Directory lists Automobile Owners in New Bedford, giving owner’s name, business address, residence, make of machine, number, and horsepower.

Now that you’ve placed yourself back in time, look up your ancestor by last name.

If you’re lucky, he or she will appear with an occupation, the address and/or name of the company where he worked, and it will tell where he lived.

If you’re looking up who lived in your house and you don’t know the name, you can check a city directory from 1904 or later. These contain two main sections: a directory by street, where you can look at each house number to see who lived there, and a directory by last name.

As an example, look at the first listing in the 1906 Street and House Directory, which

starts on page 51. The street is Abbott Street and the first number listed is 13. There must have been 3 apartments at 13 Abbott Street.

13 Albert Beard 13 Mrs. Rose Dubois 13 William O’Hearn Now turn to the New Bedford Directory on page 147. Residents are listed alphabetically: Beard Albert lab h 13 Abbott (this means he is a laborer and he lives at 13 Abbott St.) Dubois Rose wid Francis h 13 Abbott (this means she is the widow of Francis DuBois) O’Hearn William real estate h 13 Abbott Listed after Albert Beard are two men who may have been his sons or other relatives: Beard James E oper bds 13 Abbott (he is an operative in a mill and boards at 13 Abbott. He is not the head of household) Beard John F lab bds 13 Abbott So you now are beginning

First he built a house, moved into it, and lived there for 17 years. During that time he built a small house, back to back with the first. Then he built the third and largest house (mine) next door to the one he lived in. Because of the shape of his plot, he had to build this house sideways, with the front door facing the side yard. My builder lived here in his final, grandest house almost to the end of his life.

According to the City Directory, he was a spar-maker who worked on the waterfront. His partner in the spar-making business was also listed as a

IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT I HAD PROBABLY JUST WALKED THE VERY SAME ROUTE THAT SHE TOOK TO WORK EACH DAY If you are looking up an ancestor, you can see where he or she lived, worked, and possibly where other relatives lived nearby. It gives you a sense of the community in which your family lived. You can imagine the distance he or she had to travel to work, which school the children might have attended, the nearest church or a store that was part of their daily routine.

As you learn more about your house, whether the previous owners were your family or not, you can figure out how your neighborhood developed. You may want to branch out to other sources as you go along. Old maps and census records are available at the public library for your research.

My house Looking at maps of the city from different years, I can see that the man who built my house started out with an oddly-shaped parcel of land that fronted on two streets.

housewright. It’s tempting to think that one partner might have inspired and helped the other to undertake building a house, but I can’t say for sure.

But I enjoy thinking about how New Bedford grew, and all the different industries and businesses that thrived here over the years.

In later years, early in the 20th century, the people who lived in my house were grocers (father and son), a machinist in a foundry, a stenographer for a newspaper office, a city policeman, a bookkeeper, and a dry goods storekeeper.

According to census records, they were born in Russia, England, Canada, and the United States. Some were families and some were single people boarding with the family.

Have I made you curious?

Take a few minutes and delve into the story of the past.

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to fill in details of the people who lived at 13 Abbott St. Women who live alone or board are listed, but wives are not. Later directories include the wife in parentheses after the husband’s name.

It’s fun to go looking to see where your person worked. I recently learned that a young woman who lived in my house was a stenographer on William Street downtown, in the early 1900’s. I walked down to see the building she worked in, now a vacant lot, but it occurred to me that I had probably just walked the very same route that she took to work each day.

A lice A nnie W ilson is a lifelong New Bedford resident and occasional contributor to “South Coast Prime Times”.

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PRIME SEASON

Buzzards Bay Rowing Club

Going rowing Sean McC arthy

To the uninitiated, rowing may appear to be rigorous or boring, but for the hundred-plus members of the Buzzards Bay Rowing Club it’s like being in a special family with an array of benefits.

Barbara Belanger of Fairhaven sees the club as a group that cares about each other, providing relationships that exist even when you’re not on the water.

“You have the opportunity to find a group of people you can really bond with,” the 78-year old says. “It’s a chance to relax and unwind. The advantages are physical, emotional and mental.”

“When you’re out on the harbor and you look back on the city it’s a beautiful experience,” says Bob Therrien of Dartmouth.

“It’s amazing.”

Other spectacular sights are during sunrise and sunset rowing, moonlit rowing, or after a snowfall. The club has 16 teams that can arrange to use a boat at any time.

Before becoming a member you must make three voyages. If you enjoy it, you can pay a membership to join.

Beyond the boat Each boat has five rowers and one steerer. One team consists of five rowers all in their 70’s.

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“It’s a non-impact sport,” says Club President Heidi Hacking. “You use your full body to row, but it isn’t strenuous.

Anyone can do it and that’s what attracts most people. We have members of all ages.”

Many members of the club are in contact with each other outside the club. They often put together outings of their own that have little or nothing to do with rowing. Groups may go hiking, kayaking, bicycling, or out on other activities. Some events are strictly social.

“We have teams that go out two or three times per week,” Hacking says. You can do it as often as you like. Even if it’s 20 degrees teams will still go out. It doesn’t take long to warm up and break a sweat.”

The club has three boats, 28 to 30 feet long and six feet wide.

The club also competes. Their first race of this year is the Open Water Challenge on June 6 at Fort Taber in New Bedford, beginning at 10 a.m. It will be a threemile row. On September 26 they will

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partake in the Whaleboat Racing Competition at Steamship Pier in New Bedford – a one-mile sprint. The club also competes in oceanside towns and cities such as Gloucester, Hull, and Providence.

The club also has an annual scholarship fundraiser for area high school students.

“When you join his club, you find a group that you can really bond with,” Belanger says. “The relationships you make become a part of your life.”

Therrien and his wife Leslie have been with the club for ten years.

“It’s a lot of fun to be able to do this as a couple,” Leslie says. “It also allows us to enjoy ourselves with club members when we’re not on the water.”

“When you go out on the water it can be whatever you want it to be,” Belanger says. “It can be competitive or just for exercise. It can be silent for a while or people may spend a lot of time in conversation. If someone wants to talk about a problem they’re having while we’re out on the water, what’s said in the boat stays in the boat.”

The Buzzards Bay Rowing Club (www. buzzardsbayrowing.org) can be contacted by emailing HackingH@Southcoast.org or by calling (508)-973-5955.

S ean M c C arthy has been a freelance journalist for 25 years.

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Dealing with siblings who don’t help with aging parents

by Michelle D. Beneski

M ichelle D. B eneski is an Attorney at Surprenant & Beneski, P.C. For specific questions call 508-994-5200 or email mdb@ nbelderlaw.com

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When elderly parents start to decline, usually one sibling becomes the primary caregiver.

At first care is easy but as care demands more time and money, stress and resentment can build. Fights are usually over money and time, causing caregiver stress. So, what can be done?

Here are some helpful tips: 1. Accept that there is no such thing as “fairness” when it comes to care giving. Someone always shoulders a disproportionate amount of the load. Should it be that way? No, but wishing for something different makes matters worse.

2. Communicate with every family member, even those you don’t get along with. Let them decide how much they want to be involved.

3. Have a family meeting to get everyone’s viewpoint on elder care needs. Having other viewpoints can be helpful.

4. Do it now. Waiting makes matters worse.

Don’t assume someone else in the family will take charge.

5. Put aside your “shoulds”. Focus on the taking care of your parents. It doesn’t matter what you think they “should” do. What matters is getting help for your parents, whether it’s from siblings or outside the family. You can’t change someone else. Obsessing about it makes your life more stressful.

6. List all of the support your parents may need like: meals, bathing, bill paying, grocery shopping, doctor appointments, picking up meds, checking out caregivers or living facilities, etc. When you need help be exact: “I have a doctor’s appointment next Friday. Can you sit with mom for about 2 hours?”

7. Contact help within the community. Start with your local Council on Aging. If you live in a large city, dial 2-1-1. If you work for a larger corporation, ask your human relations department what elder care resources they offer.

8. Accept whatever help your siblings are willing to provide. No one knows how another person thinks and feels or what’s going on in their life. They very well may have problems of their own that you are unaware of.

9. Your attitude is key. Yes, it’s hard not to be mad when no one helps but you are only hurting yourself. Focus on the positives. Be thankful for those who do help.

10. Consider turning to a professional elder care mediator. This specialty is relatively new but growing. They offer solutions to family conflicts over the care of an aging parent. They offer a pathway to peace and family healing.

Remember to focus only on what you can accomplish for your parents. Resenting siblings makes you feel worse and accomplishes nothing. Do what you know you can do and find outside help for the rest.

This article is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

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PRIME LIVING

Elder abuse is a form of domestic violence and it’s

a crime, just like child abuse or spousal abuse

The truth about elder abuse Eliz abeth Morse Read

The very mention of “elder abuse” conjures up hair-raising Hollywood images of thugs mugging Gramps at the ATM, gross neglect in some Bates Motel nursing home, or a Jack Nicholson home-helper shoving Nana down the stairs in her wheelchair.

But these graphic and extreme examples distract us from the reality of elder abuse in America: that elder abuse is more often psychological and financial than physical or sexual; that it happens most often in a home setting, not in an institution; and that the 90% of domestic elder abusers are relatives – especially adult children – and not a stranger or paid caregiver. It’s all about family dynamics.

Elder abuse is a form of domestic violence and it’s a crime, just like child abuse or spousal abuse. But there’s plenty of help out there to educate, support, and protect seniors and their families.

‘Who steals my purse steals trash…’

Seniors have always been easy targets for scam artists, telemarketers, and door-to-

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door salesmen. But seniors are far more vulnerable to financial exploitation at the hands of their “loved ones.” According to a MetLife study, as many as one in ten seniors are financially exploited – to the tune of losing $2.6 billion every year – by being bilked, manipulated, or deceived by younger relatives. And for every case of financial elder abuse that gets reported to the authorities, it’s estimated that at least five go unreported.

Some financial exploitation of elders is pretty blatant, like stealing cash, pawning valuables, forging checks, fraudulently using credit cards. But much more common (and harder to detect) is the deliberate emotional manipulation that guilt-trips seniors into handing over their financial independence.

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‘Oh, how sharper than a serpent’s tooth…’

For example, ne’er-do-well sons or drama-queen granddaughters will use sob stories to play on the heartstrings of aging relatives – and the money they “borrow” never gets paid back. Or else a widowed mother will be pressured to cosign a loan, utility account, cell phone contract, or car insurance policy. These are all emotional scams to use your good name and credit rating (because theirs is mud), ultimately leaving you holding the debt-bag when they default.

In extreme cases, some adult children will badger an aging parent into signing legal papers they don’t understand, opening a joint bank account, or letting them move back home (rent-free, of course, until they “get back on their feet.”) Many of these manipulative offspring have a sense of entitlement regarding an aging relative’s hard-earned retirement assets – they’d inherit it all when you die, anyway, right? So they rationalize their actions as simply “borrowing” against their future windfall.

Why don’t abused elders complain?

Taking Care of the Caregivers Caregivers of elderly relatives, whether full-time or part-time, are the unsung heroes in every family’s saga. Despite the headlines about elder abuse, they are not all Stephen King bogey-men or Nurse Ratchet or some Bette Davis villainess. Caring for or about an aging parent, even from afar, is incredibly stressful.

But no one person alone should be left to carry the full responsibility for an aging relative. If other family members can’t (or won’t) help out, there’s a network of local, state and national agencies that will. Start by contacting your area’s Elder Protective Service Agency.

To find more resources and support programs for the caregivers of elderly relatives, contact the Family Caregiver Alliance at www.caregiver.org or call tollfree 1-800-445-8106, or visit www.agingcare.com. Or try the National Family Caregiver Support Program at www.aoa.acl.gov or at 1-202-619-0724.

Whether out of false pride or embarrassment, many seniors don’t want to admit to anyone that they’re being used as a cash-cow by a “loved one.” Some say nothing because they are afraid that the abuser may carry through on threats of further abuse. Other don’t want their abuser, upon whom they’re increasingly dependent, to “get into trouble” with the authorities.

As a result, many abused elders end up feeling trapped, defenseless and hopeless.

They become anxious and depressed, increasingly cut off from the outside world.

This is not how someone should spend their “golden years.”

Typical elder abusers use coercive tactics – threats, isolation, intimidation, manipulation – to gain power and control over their victim’s life and finances. The abuser will gradually isolate their victim from the outside world, making them increasingly dependent on the abuser alone. They might monitor the elder’s phone calls, mail, purchases, and social activities. They might take over the elder’s direct contact with doctors, other family members, advisors, landlord, and friends.

They micromanage the aging parent’s daily life, whether they need such intervention or not.

Playing mind games with granny

For too long, domestic elder abuse was blamed on the overwhelming stress of caring for an elderly relative – but that’s been proved wrong. For millennia, elders just naturally lived with their children’s family, playing a vital role. But, as the Baby Boomer generation has aged, the trend has shifted to keeping seniors in their own homes for as long as possible, rather than in more expensive institutional living arrangements – threegenerational households are increasingly rare these days. And with that family-dynamic shift came an explosion of support services and programs for stressed-out family caregivers – respite care, visiting nurses, senior day care programs, mealson-wheels, free government services.

Psychological abuse is the deliberate infliction of mental or emotional suffering on someone else, whether it’s verbal or non-verbal. It’s used to threaten, frighten, confuse, intimidate, or provoke the victim, whether a child, a spouse/significant other, or an aging parent. It can be non-verbal abuse, like ignoring someone when they speak, overruling a personal decision they’ve made, or insinuating with other people that “Dad’s definitely losing his marbles.” Or it can be the more in-your-face verbal abuse like namecalling, yelling, insulting or shaming, or by threatening to abandon them, put them in a nursing home, or to have them declared incompetent.

Home alone

Continued on page 18

Are you worried about long term care for you or your parents?

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ased upon the increase in life expectancy, the need to plan for long term care expenses is very real.

Some are reluctant to purchase long term care because they believe: it is too expensive they will die before they need to use the policy the government will pay for them This created the need for a new form of Long-Term Care coverage, a hybrid program called Asset Based Long Term Care.

This planning strategy became available after Congress passed the Pension Protection Act of 2006.

This unique retirement plan provides a program to pay for long term costs, tax free and the funds held in the contract are passed on to the heirs and never lost upon death.

Call Steve at 401-247-9882 for a personal review to see if this unique planning program is right for you and your family.

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There is No E xcuse for Elder Abuse …

There is a wealth of your tax-dollar resources and services out there for seniors and their caregivers. ➤ In an emergency, call 911 or the Elder Abuse Hotline 24/7 at 1-800922-2275 (TDD and translation available). You can also call the free 24/7 National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (TTY 1-800-7873224) or go to www.thehotline.org/ get-help. ➤ To find services and resources available nationwide, or to help prevent elder abuse, start with the US Department of Health and Human Service’s Administration on Aging website: www.aoa.gov. ➤ To find elder support services in your area, go online to find the “Eldercare Locator” at www.eldercare.gov, another service of the US Department of HHS. Their toll-free number is 800677-1116. ➤ Contact your local Elder Protective Service Agency, such as Coastline Elderly Services (www.coastlineelderly. org or call 508-999-6400) or Bristol Elder Services (call 774-365-6950 or visit www.bristolelder.org) or Old Colony Elder Services (www.oldcolonyelderservices.org or 508-584-1561). ➤ In Rhode Island, start with the state’s Division of Elderly Affairs at www.dea.ri.gov/programs, www.dhs. re.gov/Elders or www.adrc.ohhs.ri.gov.

Or else call the National Adult Protective Services Association at 1-217-5234431 or visit www.napsa-now.org. ➤ The federal government’s National Institute on Aging also provides good information – learn more at www.nia. nih.gov or call toll-free 24/7 1-800 222-2225 (TTY 1-800-222-4225). ➤ For more info, check out the National Center on Elder Abuse at www. ncea.aoa.gov (call toll-free 1-855-5003537), www.centeronelderabuse.org, and the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse at 1-202464-9481 or www.preventelderabuse. org. ➤ Call your town hall or local senior center for elder/caregiver advice. Talk to your doctor, pastor, BFF, policeman or neighbor for guidance. ➤ Stay informed about the unique issues pertaining to post-middle-aged life at www.aarp.org.

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Continued from previous page Caregiver stress is manageable, and no longer an excuse for elder abuse. [see sidebars] The dynamics of elder abuse are rooted in control and power, just as with any other form of domestic violence. A significant number of elder abusers have a history of substance abuse, work and relationship problems, and mental instability. Recent studies have found that more than 75% of elder abusers are in some way still financially dependent on their parent(s), including the 65% who still receive some kind of housing support.

Domestic violence in later life (elder abuse) is often the final act in a dysfunctional family’s drama. (As one comedian joked, 90% of all families are dysfunctional, and the other 10% are lying.) When an aging parent needs help, the family dynamic is thrown out of whack. The sudden role-reversal of parent and child can dredge up emotional baggage like resentment, rivalry, and recrimination.

A kid who grew up with poor coping skills becomes the adult child who’s liable to abuse an aging parent, whether physically, emotionally, or financially.

Typically, it’s an unstable, unmarried adult son who’s still dependent on his widowed over-60 mother who lives in her own home.

But by 2050, 20% of the US population – that’s almost 90 million people – will be 65 or older. Fewer and fewer of them will live in nursing homes or assistedliving communities, if only because of the costs: the average cost for a good assistedliving arrangement is currently $3,000/ month.

The aging population is healthier, more active and more independent than were the elders of previous generations, and they much prefer to do whatever it takes to stay in their own home. They don’t want to end up living in someone’s guest room, or to be isolated in some low-income apartment building. As a result, the risk of elder abuse will increase as more

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and more seniors choose to “age in place.”

It takes a village Nobody wants to be a busybody, gossip or a Nosy Parker. But elder abuse is a very subtle form of domestic violence, and the outward signs of it aren’t always easy to detect or connect. So everyone in the older person’s extended family and community needs to be more aware of potential red-flags of elder abuse.

Bank personnel and financial advisors should be on alert when an older client suddenly withdraws a substantial amount of cash. Primary care practitioners should question bruises, scalp wounds, sudden changes in personality or grooming.

Social acquaintances and church members should worry when someone is increasingly a “no-show,” and doesn’t return calls or emails very often.

Neighbors should pay attention to raised voices or unusual activity at an elderly neighbor’s house or apartment.

Store managers and cashiers can notice unusual changes in a long-time customer’s purchases. Anyone can report their suspicions of elder abuse – not just doctors, the police or social workers. If you see something, say something.

June 15 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. Elder abuse is under-reported and largely hidden from view. Advise your older relatives on how to be savvier about their financial, medical and legal rights.

Educate yourself about senior services and caretaker resources available in your area. Give primary caretakers a hand – offer to give rides, mow the lawn, help with paperwork, make a casserole, spend an afternoon there to give them a break.

Stay more in touch regularly with the older people in your life, whether friend, family, or neighbor.

the risk of

elder abuse

will increase as more and more

seniors choose

to ‘age in place’

E lizabeth M orse R ead is an award-winning writer, editor and artist who grew up on the South Coast. After 20 years of working in New York City and traveling the world, she came back home with her children and lives in Fairhaven.

Q & A with Kathleen Sanderson PT What is Happier in My Home, Inc.?

KS Happier in My Home, Inc. is a privately-held, non-medical senior home care agency. We work with seniors in their homes, or wherever they live, to provide assistance with the activities of daily living.

What types of services do you offer?

Our services include companionKS ship, light housekeeping, meal preparation, and assistance with personal care/hygiene including showering and toileting. We also provide transportation to appointments and medication reminders.

PT

How did you get involved in this PT line of work?

Several years ago, my beloved KS grandmother was placed in a nursing home because of safety concerns.

She was very unhappy and cried all the time because she wanted to be home. It was heartbreaking, and made me realize there was a real need for in-home care.

What do you like most about your work?

Knowing that I am playing a pivotal KS role in allowing seniors to remain in their homes for as long as possible. They have raised their families, worked, and paid their dues to society and deserve to be happy in their elder years.

What is one thing you want people to know about the company?

We are very focused on the personal KS relationships with our clients and their families. We tailor our services to meet the individual needs of our clients.

What do you like least about your work?

With the exception of Long-term KS Care coverage, most insurance companies do not pay for home care, so just knowing that there are seniors who cannot afford to stay at home when that is what they really want is heartbreaking.

KS We can be reached by phone at 774-294-5058. Our website is www. happierinmyhome.com and we have an online request form. Our main office is located at 930 County Street in Somerset.

PT

PT

PT

PT How can someone contact you?

PT What area do you cover?

KS Currently, we service 14 cities and towns including Assonet, Berkley, Dartmouth, Dighton, Fall River, Freetown, New Bedford, Raynham, Rehoboth, Seekonk, Somerset, Swansea, Taunton, and Westport. I always encourage people to call, as we may extend the coverage area to them.

In-Home Senior Care | Serving all of Bristol and parts of Plymouth and Barnstable Counties 930 County Street, Somerset | 774-294-5058 | www.happierinmyhome.com S ou th C oast P r ime T imes

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GOOD TIMES

Over-55

communities Jay Pateakos

If you’re over 55, then it’s hard to balk at the idea of a life free of cutting grass, shoveling snow, or worrying about your house when you’re on an extended vacation. That’s why over-55 communities across the South Coast are getting more popular each year.

Downsizing life can be a struggle for some folks, but the adjustments pay off in the end as couples learn that their new communities offer so much more than they originally imagined.

Branching out The Pines at Hathaway Pond is a prime example of the popularity of these communities – mostly because it’s all sold out.

The Pines is an active adult retirement community located in rural Rochester where residents enjoy luxury and peaceful natural surroundings along with maintenance-free living, according to Pines

and Jack Conway realtor (as well as Pines resident) Diane Marrazzo.

“The Pines is a truly special community, and brings residents together on a regular basis. It differs from our neighborhoods that we raised families in, because we are centered on a lifestyle that encourages fun, freedom, and carefree homes with everything taken care of, including shoveling mass amounts of snow,” said Marrazzo.

“We have a beautiful post-and-beam clubhouse and pool that are used constantly, and allow us to celebrate many of our sporting events, catch up on new

restaurants, arts, enjoy book club, and snow bird’s travels. Typical neighborhoods don’t bring groups together like an over-55 neighborhood does.”

Marrazzo said the lure of these communities is everything from camaraderie to security, new friends to less work, and of course, living in far newer homes. And as with the Marrazzos, they not only work to sell these communities, they truly live the life as well, which helps to ease the burden of transition for many people looking to make the big step but still have fear.

“We share our own experiences with new people about the fear of moving into a new community, and tell them it is a common sharing of the common areas, but there are many new freedoms and experiences that come with the sharing,” said Marrazzo.

“People ask what is allowed, and are very concerned that their family and grandchildren are allowed to stay and visit. In our situation, there are no limits on those visits.”

Marrazzo said because they have had such a positive experience moving to a 55 community, as well as having sold many condos in this niche, it is an easy “sell.”

“We highly recommend the new lifestyle,” said Marrazzo. “More time for fitness, golf, travel, and new friends.”

Growing strong

The Pines, Rochester 20

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Swansea-based Oakwood Estates is an adult living community for people 55 and over featuring 120 rental residences located in four two-story buildings with elevators. On-site amenities include a gazebo, walking trails, and outdoor sitting areas for socializing with neighbors.

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small pets and has free reserved parking “We have weekly luncheons, as well as Bingos, card games, etcetera, that give our residents opportunities to socialize if they want to. We offer van rides on Tuesdays for banking, shopping, and more,” said Panchley.

“We allow small pets and we have free reserved parking, which is different than some of the other options people consider. Most people who move to Oakwood Estates make this their last home because they love living there.”

In helping people to overcome their fear of moving to an over-55 community

Continued on next page

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Continued from previous page like Oakwood, Panchley said that when people usually come to see them, they are already considering selling their homes and just need help getting over the final hurdle of seeing an over-55 community as a simpler and far more social lifestyle.

“It can be difficult for people to think about not bringing all of the furniture they have with them and having to downsize and sell the home they raised their children in. Many times, I think, their visits to our model apartments relieve fears,” said Panchley.

“First, they see how spacious the apartments are and can see how some of their furniture will easily fit. Second, the residents they meet while touring the property many times express how happy they are and that they have never regretted making the move. I always say our current residents sell our apartments much better than I ever could because they sincerely express their love for their life at Oakwood.”

Panchley said many of the questions and concerns would-be residents have to do with what furniture they should bring.

She said their managers are very skilled and experienced to advise on what other residents bring and what works. They also have apartments to show them to help them visualize what they should bring with them.

“Some visitors worry that having a home to sell will disqualify them for one of our apartments, but only .06% of an applicants’ total assets are added to their income when looking at income limits so we discuss those guidelines.

Additionally, Oakwood has apartments with no income limit,” said Panchley.

“Depending on the age of an applicant, some residents express that they feel they may be too young for this type of community, but if they walk around the property with us, they see all ages. We have a number of residents who are still employed.

“We are there every step of the way to make sure they have the necessary information to have everything ready for their move-in day.”

Although the over-55 population is very active, Panchley said many do not want to live among families, and Oakwood helps to provide that atmosphere.

“We see many people interested in Oakwood because they want to have care-free

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Oakridge, Westport

living. They do not want to worry about the lawn, snow, the toilet not working, and things of that nature. We take care of all of it,” said Panchley.

“Our maintenance crew is on-call 24/7.

It truly is carefree living, in a place that really feels like home. Residents have the opportunity to socialize with other residents that share many of the same experiences and memories that they do.

Taking root Louise P. Hill and James P. Sabra, coowners of Westport based Equity Real Estate, Inc. have been selling the condominiums at Westport’s Oakridge since 2007.

Oakridge features single level, two-bedroom, two-bath homes with full basements, two stall garages, central air, and private rear decks. Hill said she routinely hears that Oakridge is the best value in the area. The setting is peaceful with woodland views and clamshell walking paths, plus all the units are free-standing Some couples who visit Oakridge are initially unsure whether condominium living is for them.

The concept of downsizing is simultaneously appealing and unnerving and they wonder what on earth they’ll do with 40plus years of accumulation. But ultimate-

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ly, they all welcome the opportunity to finally relax and let someone else worry about mowing, plowing, and shoveling.

Snow birds in particular find it a true comfort to be able to lock up and head south for the winter without a care in the world.

Both Hill and Sabra feel that one of the most rewarding aspects of working with Oakridge residents is being able to help facilitate a smooth transition for them by assisting with the sale of their existing homes as well.

Additionally, with a tax rate of $7.93/M, the average annual tax bill at Oakridge is around $3,000.

Many of the people who live in these over-55 communities have raised their children and in other cases even their grandchildren. They deserve a place where they can finally slow things down.

No more worries about breaking your back shoveling or passing out while cutting the grass. The only worry is wondering what would you like to do today, and that’s not such a bad worry to have.

J ay Pateakos has been a freelance writer for more than 10 years including daily and weekly newspapers and monthly magazines.

A native of New Bedford, he currently lives in Marion and has three children.

Westport’s Premier 55 & Older Community www.oakridgewestport.com Only 2 New Construction Units Left!

Single level, 2 bedroom, 2 bath homes with full basements & 2 stall garages.

15 Windsor Drive - $389,000 New construction, finished basement

18 Crestview Drive – $359,900 Upper cul-de-sac, peaceful woodland views

26 Windsor Drive – $379,000 Stunning maple floors, custom tile showers

19 Windsor Drive - $369,000 Model unit, fireplace and oak floors

7 Crestview Drive – $425,000 Custom design, tiled bath, finished walkout basement

Faithful Friends Pet Crematory

Because pets are part of the family.

Faithful Friends Pet Crematory, located in Warren, RI is a professional pet crematory available to meet all your needs after the death of a beloved companion.

For more information contact us at 401-337-5911 or visit www.faithfulfriendscrematory.com Affiliated with Smith Funeral & Memorial Services

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E xtra! E xtra!

In brief…

Eliz abeth Morse Read

Those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer on the South Coast are finally here! Free concerts, festivals, boat races, fireworks, gardens, cookouts and beaches everywhere! Get out there and enjoy every day!

Regional Notes Ahoy! Officials from the Boston 2024 Olympics organizing committee have been scouting out the New Bedford waterfront/Buzzards Bay as a possible venue for sailing events. Stay tuned, mateys…

The town of Somerset has withdrawn its application to build a gambling casino, leaving Brockton and New Bedford as the two remaining candidates for the state’s Region C (Southeastern Massachusetts) license. Brockton voters narrowly approved their casino project, and a special election is scheduled for June 23 on the fate of a proposed $650 million resort casino on New Bedford’s waterfront. Meanwhile, the Twin River gambling company wants to buy 45 acres in Tiverton near the state line to build a “convenience” casino with 1,000+ slot machines and table games by late 2017. Stay tuned…

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Woohoo! Celebrate clean water by participating in the 22nd Annual Buzzards Bay Swim on June 20, from the south end of New Bedford across the harbor to Fort Phoenix in Fairhaven, sponsored by the Buzzards Bay Coalition. For details, go to www.savebuzzardsbay.org/swim.

On the Fourth of July Head for Battleship Cove in Fall River on the Fourth of July! For a schedule of events, call 508-678-1100 or visit www.battleshipcove.org.

Start your Independence Day early by heading for the music and fireworks at the Annual Freedom Festival at UMass Dartmouth on July 3! (rain date July 5) For details, go to www. umassd.edu.

Spend your Fourth of July morning watching the Classic Car Cruise, then the Independence Day Cannon Salute with the Village Militia

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at Fort Phoenix in Fairhaven! For a schedule of events, call 508-979-4085 or go to www. fairhaventours.com.

On Independence Day, head for the Victorian-era village of Onset for the parade and Blessing of the Fleet. For a complete schedule of events, go to www.onsetbay.org.

Take the whole family to a once-in-a-lifetime Fourth of July in Bristol, home of the oldest continuous Independence Day celebration in the US. Learn more at www.july4thbristolri.com.

Food, Feasts and Festivals Don’t miss the Dartmouth Lions Club’s “Blind Wine Tasting” at Running Brook Vineyard on June 27. For more info, call 774-9297352.

Stroll through Newport’s Bowen’s Wharf June 28-29 during the 2nd Annual Newport Art Festival. Learn more at www.festivalfete.com.

Don’t miss the free Homecoming Day Fair in Fairhaven on June 27! For details, call 508-9794085 or go to www.fairhaventours.com or www. fairhavenhomecoming.wordpress.com.

Head for the Taste of Summer “Harbor Days” at Shipyard Park in Mattapoisett on July 17-19.

For more info, go to www.mattlionsclub.org.

There’s non-stop activity at Tiverton Four Corners – there’s the Annual Antiques Show on

July 4, the Annual Arts and Artisans Festival July 18; Summer Evening Cabaret July 18; Children’s Figure-Drawing Classes July 21- August 11; Rock-a-Baby Concert July 21, and the Cultural Survival Bazaar July 25 and 26. Find all the details at www.fourcornersarts.org.

Find out what’s on the schedule for the July 15-19 Westport Fair – go to www.westportfair. com.

Save the dates! The 16th Rochester Country Fair is scheduled for August 13-16, and will feature a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band, parade and Scottish highland games! For more info, go to www.rochesterma.com.

Plan ahead for the Feast of Our Lady of Angels on Labor Day weekend in North Fairhaven -- call 508-990-0502 or visit www.fairhaventours.com.

Calling all Japanophiles! -- don’t miss the Manjiro Festival in Fairhaven in early October!

Go to www.wmfriendshiphouse.org or call 508995-1219 for details.

Save the date!

Visit Newport’s Museum of Yachting (www. iyrs.edu/museum or 401-847-1018) and Rhode Island’s Tall Ship Oliver Hazard Perry (go to www.ohpri.org or call 401-841-0080). And, don’t miss the Herreshoff Marine Museum in Bristol, home to the America’s Cup Hall of Fame. Learn more at www.herreshoff.org.

Bizz Buzz For the 14th consecutive year, New Bedford is the top dollar-value fishing port in the United States, primarily due to scallop landings.

Bristol Community College will raise their fees by $8 more per credit, starting in September.

Benjamin’s Restaurant in Taunton has closed its doors for good.

The new Doctors Express Urgent Care Center on Coggeshall Street in New Bedford (next to Market Basket) has opened its doors.

New Bedford-based men’s clothier Joseph Abboud has opened its flagship retail store on Madison Avenue in New York City, under the umbrella of Men’s Warehouse.

South Coast Newsmakers Disaster-response teams coordinated by All Hands Volunteers, a nonprofit based in Mattapoisett, were dispatched to Nepal to help survivors of the earthquake. (Go to www.hands. org.)

Everett Hoagland, a former Poet Laureate of New Bedford, was the 2015 recipient of the prestigious Langston Hughes Society Award.

Trevor Bernier of Taunton, a sophomore computer engineering major at URI, helped design a wristband called TeleTremor, which can assist doctors in monitoring patients with Parkinson’s disease.

Mary-Lee Barboza of Rochester, a senior at Worcester Polytechnic Institute majoring in biotechnology, was awarded the university’s Salisbury Prize for academic excellence.

Due to construction delays, the Walmart Superstore in West Wareham will not open until August.

Members of the Taunton High School Concert Band performed at Disney World in Orlando back in April, as part of the Disney Performing Arts Program.

Film crews for the upcoming Jennifer Lawrence/Bradley Cooper movie “Joy” spent a day in April shooting the rural scenery and roadways of Rochester.

The iconic First Baptist Church on Williams Street in New Bedford has been declared a National Treasure by the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

Detours ahead!

The Herman Street Bridge replacement project in Fall River will create traffic woes until its planned completion in November. The railroad bridge over Rt. 18/Acushnet Avenue in New Bedford will be demolished and replaced by this time next year, with work starting

by October, in preparation for South Coast Rail.

The Greater New Bedford Community Health Center has received a $704,000 federal grant – the only one awarded in the state – to provide primary care services to the thousands of new patients now covered by the Affordable Care Act (AKA Obamacare).

When the Kids Are Bored You don’t have to spend a fortune to keep restless kids entertained or busy this summer.

Find out what activities, sports and summer programs are available at your nearest YMCA (go to www.ymcasouthcoast.org), as well as through

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Lees

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in June 2015

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Continued from previous page

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THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER

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5 Cruise the South Coast Artist Studios through Tiverton, Little Compton, Westport and Dartmouth on July 18-19 and August 15-16. For details, visit www.southcoastartists.org.

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Get ready for Onset! This year’s Onset Blues Festival will be on August 1. For details, go to www.onsetbluesfestival.com.

The Onset Cape Verdean Festival will be held the next week, on August 8 (rain date August 9.)

For more information, go to www.onsetcapeverdeanfestival.com.

1 Get ready for the 101st Feast of the Blessed Sacrament July 30-August 2 at Madeira Field in New Bedford! For details, visit www. portuguesefeast.com.

Make plans to attend the New Bedford Folk Festival July 4-5 (Tom Rush!). For details, go to www.newbedfordfolkfestival. com and www.destinationnb.org.

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Enjoy FREE family fun and entertainment on AHA! Nights in New Bedford. The July 9 theme is “Kids Rule!” The August 13 theme is “Dancing in the Streets.”

Go to www.ahanewbedford.org or call 508-996-8253.

local libraries, parks, clubs and churches.

Every town/city has a Department of Parks and Recreation, so call your town hall or go to their website.

Treat the kids to a South Coast blastfrom-the-past! Visit the Soule Homestead in Middleboro (www.soulehomestead.org or call 508-947-6744) and visit the Robbins Museum of Archeology – call 508-947-9005 or go to www. massarcheology.org.

Experience pre-Industrial Age life at the Coggeshall Farm Museum in Bristol, rated the “Best Living-History” farm in Rhode Island by Yankee Magazine. To learn more, visit www. coggeshallfarm.org or call 401-253-9062.

Visit Plimoth Plantation and the Mayflower in Plymouth, America’s premier living-history

museum (www.plimoth.org or 508-746-1622), the Whaling Museum in New Bedford (www. whalingmuseum.org), or the mysterious Dighton Rock at the state park in Berkley (508-8227537).

The Westport River Watershed Alliance will host summertime activities for children age 3 to 16 this summer. For details, go to www.westportwatershed.org or call 508-636-3016.

Head for Water Wizz in Wareham, the South Coast’s best aquatic amusement park. For more info, call 508-295-3255 or go to www.waterwizz.com.

All summer long, there’ll be free “Kids’ Fun Days” planned at the Fairhaven Visitors Center on the high school grounds. For more info and dates, call 508-979-4085 or go to www.

The annual Buzzards Bay Regatta will set sail from the New Bedford Yacht Club August 7-9. For details, visit www. buzzardsbayregatta.com.

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7 Reserve your tickets now for Mary Poppins, performed by the New Bedford Festival Theatre July 24-August 2 at the Zeiterion! Call 508-994-2900 or visit www.nbfestivaltheatre.com.

fairhaventours@aol.com.

There’ll be free children’s crafts and activities Tues. thru Fri. during July and August at the Whaling Museum in New Bedford. For details, call 508-997-0046 or visit www.whalingmuseum.org.

Kids entering grades K-6 can become Seahorse Summer Explorers this summer through the Mattapoisett Recreation Department! For details, visit www.mattapoisett.net.

Take the little ones to the Buttonwood Park Zoo in New Bedford! Don’t miss Teddy Bear Affair Night July 10. There’s also “Toddler Tales” every Thursday morning. For details, call 508991-6178 or visit www.bpzoo.org.

Take a ride to Edaville Railroad in Carver for Dino Land or Thomas the Tank Engine train

rides! For more info, visit www.edaville.com.

Check out what’s going on at the Children’s Museum of Greater Fall River. For more info, go to www.cmgfr.org or call 508-672-0033. And don’t forget to check out the Children’s Museum in Easton – for info, call 508-230-3789 or visit www.childrensmuseumineaston.org. Plan a trip to the Children’s Museum in Providence. Learn more at www.childrenmuseum.org.

Find out what’s happening at the Marion Natural History Museum. For info, go to www. marionmuseum.org or call 508-758-9089. Or find out what’s on display at the Mattapoisett Historical Society Museum on Wed. thru Sat. afternoons in July and August. For more info, call 508-758-2844 or visit www.mattapoisetthistoricalsociety.org.

Learn more about “Camp Sequoia” at Blithewold Gardens in Bristol. Go to www.blithewold. org or call 401-253-2707.

Get reacquainted with the natural world at the Lloyd Center for the Environment in Dartmouth. Try your hand at some canoeing or kayaking! Call 508-990-0505 or visit www. lloydcenter.org.

Don’t miss the Whaling City Triathalon at Fort Taber in New Bedford on August 2. Learn more at www.destinationnb.org.

Get on that bigger boat for the North Atlantic Shark Tournament July 17-19 out of the Port of New Bedford. For details, visit www. destinationnb.org.

Get fit for free this summer! Twenty outdoor sessions, led by certified instructors, of “Yoga in the Park” (June 16–August 18) and “Summer Bootcamp” (June 18-August 20) will be offered again at Cushman Park in Fairhaven, weather permitting. Learn more about “Fitness at Cushman Park” by calling 508-287-2482.

Explore the trails, wildlife and scenery of the Mattapoisett River Reserve – leashed dogs welcome. Hike, fish, picnic, birdwatch – and it’s a great place for cross-country skiing, too! For more info, go to www.savebuzzardsbay.org.

Talk a walk through the Norman Bird Sanctuary in Middletown! EcoTours for all ages, summer camp programs. For info, visit www. normanbirdsanctuary.org or call 401-846-2577.

Fun for the Family Take a Sunday drive to the Raynham Flea Market, voted the Best Flea Market in the state

by Yankee Magazine. For info, call 508-8238923 or go to www.raynhamflea.com.

Enjoy free outdoor movies on Tuesdays in July, and free concerts on Thursdays in July and August at Wareham Crossing! For more info, visit www.warehamcrossing.com.

Spend some family time at the Soule Home-

stead in Middleboro – the Saturday Summer Concert Series starts July 11. For more info, go to www.soulehomestead.org or call 508-947-6744.

And visit the Robbins Museum of Archeology in Middleboro – call 508-947-9005 or go to www. massarcheology.org.

Head for Battleship Cove in Fall River for Submarine Day June 20! Call 508-678-1100 or visit www.battleshipcove.org. While you’re there, check out the largest collection of Titanic memorabilia in the US, including the one-ton model used in the 1953 movie, at the Fall River Marine Museum in Battleship Cove. For more info, call 508-674-3533 or visit www.marinemuseumfr.org.

Day Trippin’ If you’re 50 or older, check out the trips sponsored by the New Bedford Senior Travel Program. There’s the Twin Rivers Casino on July 13, Lady Bea Connecticut River Cruise July 22, Patriots Place Hall Tour July 29, Clambake/ Old Orchard Beach August 5, “Saturday Night Fever” at the North Shore Music Theatre on August 12. A multi-day trip October 4-6 will head for the Sands Bethlehem Casino in Bethlehem PA. For details, call 508-991-6171. The Marion Council on Aging will sponsor a day trip to Butterflies of Cape Cod in Bourne on July 20, and a Canal Boat trip on August 17. For info, call 508-748-3570.

Take a tour of the whaling city’s historic district and the New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park! For more info, go to www. nps.gov/nebe. And while you’re there, visit the Whaling Museum and Seamen’s Bethel. Explore New Bedford’s evolution from a whaling port to an industrial giant at the new exhibit “Energy and Enterprise: Industry and the City of New Bedford” at the Whaling Museum. For more info, visit www.whalingmuseum.org or call 508-997-0046.

Listen to the Music The streets are alive with the sound of music!

The Summer Sound Series in the New Bedford Seaport Cultural District is back! Free lunchtime jazz on Fridays at Custom House Square July 11-August 8, and free concerts on the waterfront starting July 10. For a complete schedule of events, go to www.destinationnb.org.

Relax with live jazz and good wine at Greenvale Vineyards in Portsmouth! For a schedule of events, call 401-847-3777 or go to www.greenvale.com.

Newport will host the “Newport Bridge Festival” July 27-30 (go to www.newportbridgefest.com) to “bridge” the musical gap between the Newport Folk Festival (July 24-26) and the Newport Jazz Festival (July 31-August 2)

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Continued from previous page If your musical tastes are more classical and international, check out the schedule of the Newport Music Festival July 10-26. Learn more at www.newportmusic.org or call 401-849-0700.

If you’re a fan of Americana and roots music, check out the monthly Salon Concerts at the Wamsutta Club in New Bedford. There’s the Zoe Lewis Concert with Barbara Phaneuf on July 10.

For details, go to www.wamsuttaconcerts.com.

The Narrows Center for the Arts in Fall River has a fabulous lineup – there’s Barnstar!

June 26, Alejandro Escovedo on July 9, the 3rd Annual Fall River Block-a-Palooza July 22, Hal Ketchum July 30, Ryan Montbleau Band July 31, Rickie Lee Jones August 8, Seth Walker August 15 – and much, much more! For a complete schedule, visit www.narrowscenter.com or call 508-324-1926.

It’s all happenin’ at the Z! Head for the Zeiterion in New Bedford for An Evening with David Crosby July 6, “Mary Poppins” July 24-August 2, Weird Al Yankovic August 4 --and more! Go to www.zeiterion.org or call 508-9996276.

The Sandywoods Center for the Arts in Tiverton will present Gong Sound Bath June 20,

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PLACES TO GO THIS SUMMER

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There’ll be a full schedule of festivals, concerts and special events on the Newport and Providence waterfronts this summer. Plan ahead by visiting www.newportwaterfrontevents.com, www.riwaterfrontevents. com, www.discovernewport.org, and www. fortadams.org.

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on July 11!

Mark your calendars! The 16th Rochester Country Fair is scheduled for August 13-16, and will feature a Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band, parade and Scottish highland games! For more info, go to www.rochesterma.com.

Check out the 10th season of the Cranberry Coast Concerts in Onset. For a schedule and info, call 508-491-8888 or go to www.cranberrycoastconcerts.com.

The Sunset Music Series at Westport Rivers Winery starts on June 19 with Rebecca Correia, then Butch McCarthy and the Accidental Band June 26. Pack a picnic and a corkscrew. $10/ carload. For more info, visit www.westportrivers.com or call 508-636-3423.

Head for Common Fence Music in Portsmouth for some down-home entertainment.

Call 401-683-5085 or visit www.commonfencemusic.org.

Sights to Behold Cruise through downtown New Bedford on July 16 for the Joe Jesus 50’s Night! For more info, go to www.destinationnb.org.

Golden oldies! Check out the Classic Car

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3

Catch a ferry to Block Island from Fall River!

For a schedule, go to www.blockislandferry.com or call 866-783-7996

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Funny Little Planet July 11, New Bedford Harbor Sea Chantey Chorus July 18, Planet Zydeco July 25, Forever Young July 31, Aine Minogue August 1, Jen Chapin August 14, and contra dancing on the third Wednesday of every month. For a complete schedule, go to www.sandywoodsmusic. com or call 401-816-5600.

The free “Summer of Love Concerts” at the Onset Bandshell begin July 1. For more info, go to www.onsetbay.org.

Don’t miss the free Sunday Night Concerts at Pierce Beach in Somerset! For details, go to www.somersetrecreation.com.

Pack a picnic for “Music at Sunset” every Wednesday during July and August at Blithewold Gardens in Bristol! For a complete schedule, call 401-253-2707 or go to www.blithewold. org.

Don’t miss the free Evenings in the Park Concerts on selected Thursday nights at the New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park!

For info, call 508-996-4095 ext. 6105 or go to www.nps.gov/nebe.

Enjoy a free concert with Eddie and the Exciters at Benoit Square in North Fairhaven

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There’s always something to see or do in Fairhaven. There’s the Buzzards Bay Swim June 20, and the famous Homecoming Day Fair June 27 (go to www.fairhavenhomecoming. wordpress.com.) or the Village Militia Cannon Saulte at Fort Phoenix on the Fourth of July! For complete info, call 508-979-4085 or go to www. fairhaventours.com.

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Be amazed by WaterFire in downtown Providence on July 14 and 18, and August 1 and 15. Get details at www. waterfire.org.

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Get your motors runnin’! Pack a picnic and watch the Offshore Powerboat Association races on the Taunton River on August 15. There’ll be plenty of free spots to watch from on both sides of the river, but there will be a great view from the Big Mamie as part of Battleship Cove’s 50th anniversary celebration!

Show and Oldies Cruise on August 1 at the State Pier in New Bedford! For more information, go to www.destinationnb.org.

Don’t miss the excitement at the Campbell’s Hall of Fame Tennis Championships in Newport July 11-19! For info, visit www.tennisfame.com or call 401-849-3990.

There’s never been a better time to visit the Fall River Historical Society. It not only houses the largest collection of Lizzie Borden artifacts in the world, but is also the site of a beautiful garden and other treasures from the Spindle City’s gilded past. 451 Rock Street, Fall River. For hours call 508-679-1071 Check out the free exhibit of Depression-era WPA paintings at the Cherry & Webb Gallery in Fall River, sponsored by the Greater Fall River Art Association. For more information, go to www.greaterfallriverartassoc.org.

Explore New Bedford’s evolution from a whaling port to an industrial giant at the new exhibit, “Energy and Enterprise: Industry and the City of New Bedford,” at the Whaling Museum. For more info, visit www.whalingmuseum.org or call 508-997-0046.

Durfee High School’s legendary telescope is back! Attend a free stargazing event on June 18, starting at dusk, weather permitting, on the school’s rooftop observatory in Fall River.

Mark your calendar for the Newport Kite Festival July 11-12 at Brenton Point State Park!

For details, call 401-344-5264 or go to www. newportkitefestival.com.

Take a free tour of the Rhode Island State House! For info, call 401-222-3983 or visit www.sos.ri.gov/publicinfo/tours.

Experience a WWII Living History Encampment June 27-28 at Fort Taber in New Bedford.

For more info, visit www.forttaber.org or call 508-994-3938.

Gardens of Delight Artists everywhere! Enjoy peak bloom at the Rotch-Jones-Duff House and Garden Museum in New Bedford – sign up for the 4-day “Painting in the Garden with Severin Haines” workshop June 25-28. Plan ahead for the August 27 “Swinging 60s Concert in the Gardens.” For info and schedule of events, call 508-997-1401 or visit www.rjdmuseum.org.

Tiptoe through the Spring Newport Secret Garden Tour June 26-28! Call 401-439-7253 or go to www.secretgardentours.com. Or stroll through the Rough Point Landscape History and Garden Tour on June 30 – visit www.newportrestoration.org or call 401-846-4152 x 122 for more info.

All the World’s a Stage Buzzards Play Productions will give free performances of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Onset Bandshell in

Wareham every Sunday, Monday and Tuesday in July. For details, visit www.buzzardsplayproductions.com.

Head for 2nd Story Theatre in Warren! Die, Mommy, Die! will be performed July 17-August 28; I Hate Hamlet from July 10-August 30; Venus in Fur from July 23-August 2. Call 401247-4200 or go to www.2ndstorytheatre.com.

Enjoy a performance at the Newport Playhouse – Killjoy will be performed through August 2. Go to www.newportplayhouse.com or call 401-848-7529.

Head for the Zeiterion in New Bedford for Girls Night: The Musical June 26. Reserve your tickets now at 508-994-2900 or visit www.nbfestivaltheatre.com. For more info, go to www. zeiterion.org or call 508-999-6276.

Treat yourself to a performance at Trinity Rep in Providence! Melancholy Play will be performed through June 28. Call 401-351-4243 or visit www.trinityrep.com.

Climate Changers…

Calling all Fall Riverites, past and present!

Stay in touch with your hometown, no matter where you live now, by checking out the new website www.fallriveralumninetwork.com.

Twin Cedar Farm in Acushnet will rent out a pair of laying hens, a portable coop and six-month supply of chicken feed to backyard summer farmers. To learn more, go to www. twincedarfarm.net or call 508-496-5543.

Beautify your property with free shade trees! If you live in the Sandy Beach or Maplewood neighborhoods of Fall River, call 617977-1795 to schedule a visit from a professional forester from the MA Office of Energy and Environmental Affairs.

It’s time for farmers markets and roadside produce stands throughout the South Coast! To find one near you, visit www.semaponline.org or www.localharvest.org or www.farmfresh.org.

Support the Westport Land Conservation Trust by attending the 11th Annual Barn Dance on July 25. For tickets and info, visit www.westportlandtrust.org.

If you’re interested in keeping up on South Coast environmental news, check out www. ecori.org.

Meet old friends on Saturdays at the Oxford Book Haven and Café at the Church of the Good Shepherd in North Fairhaven. Fresh soups and desserts, used books on sale, board games, WiFi. To learn more, visit www.goodshepherdfairhaven.com or call 508-992-2281.

“My Brother’s Keeper” of Easton and Dartmouth is looking for volunteers and gently-used residential furniture for families in need. Free pick-up. Call 774-305-4577 or visit www.MyBrothersKeeper.org.

Restyle Your Diamond While You Watch!

One Day Only Monday, August 10th 9:30 am - 6:00 pm

Let our experts remount your diamonds or precious stones in an up-to-date setting that will give them a fashionable new look!

We’ll help you select a setting from our tremendous selection and then...while you watch…we’ll take care of the entire transformation…including sizing, setting, polishing, and cleaning.

Appointments Welcome

JEWELRY APPRAISAL SERVICES Arthur DeMello GG (GIA) graduate Gemologist will be available to provide jewelry appraisal for your personal, estate or insurance purposes.

ONE DAY ONLY

MONDAY, AUGUST 10TH 9:30AM - 6:00PM

Patenaude Jewelers 1473 South Main Street Fall River, MA (508) 672-6421 www.PatenaudeJewelers.com Mon.-Fri. 9:30-5:00, Sat. 9:30 - 4:00

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GOOD TIMES

What, me embarrassed?

Very few things embarrass me.

Men in general, I think, embarrass less as we get older. When you’re young and on the beach and see a pretty Paul K andarian girl go by, you think you’re fat, suck in your gut, puff out your chest, look at the girl and think nasty thoughts.

When you’re in your 60s, you do no gut sucking or chest puffing, you just stand and let it all hang out, look at the girl and think “Dammit, she’s young enough to be my granddaughter.”

That’s not embarrassing. That’s just sad.

I didn’t embarrass easily as a young man either, now that I think back on it. If I fell down or walked into something, I’d jump up and laugh at myself. I still do, which is handy because now I fall down and walk into things more. That’s the key, laughing at the stupid things you do, giving people the idea you’re not embarrassed even if you are.

One time I was pretty embarrassed (not to mention nearly electrocuted) when riding through a funhouse at the old Crescent Park in East Providence as a teen and, well, “relieving” myself over the side.

When I got out, the attendant and a cop were waiting, who, before they threw me out of the park, rightly called me an idiot and saying I’d have died if I hit the third rail.

Now that would have been embarrassing. Well, for my parents and family anyway, I’d just be dead and in the part of heaven reserved for idiots who died embarrassing deaths.

While I like to dress moderately nice, selecting from a wardrobe that consists mainly of khakis, jeans, polo shirts, and

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long-sleeved shirts, with a few blazers thrown in and two – yes just two – pairs of dress shoes, I don’t care that much how I look.

Maybe it’s from growing up in the fashion pits of the ‘60s and ‘70s. When you wear bell bottoms, leisure suits, and Nehru jackets, pretty much nothing will embarrass you again. Ever.

When you wear bell bottoms, leisure suits, and Nehru jackets, pretty much nothing will embarrass you again I’m decently presentable and like to think I’m a reasonable-looking human being of the male variety and in ok shape, weighing less now than I did I high school. But I don’t go out of my way to do it. I eat a lot, but nutritiously and am blessed with a blazing fast metabolism. I play hockey once a week, which is pretty taxing, but hardly represents all the exercise I could use.

But because I find gyms agonizingly boring, not to mention populated by people who watch themselves work out in mirrors (I never look in mirrors, which explains why I often leave the house with shaving cream in my ear), I stop short of going to one. Way, way, way short, actually.

I came close once. I joined Planet Fitness because it was cheap and close (though

J uly /A ugust 2015

it had mirrors – must be a gym law) and went for a while, but like many people, stopped going. And I kept my membership for the next three years. Without ever going back. Not once. Not until the day I had to, because you have to cancel in person, in writing. That came close to being embarrassing, but I was dressed nicely, so what the hell.

But I was embarrassed recently when a college-aged person who I was calling for a story answered just as my laptop chimed “You’ve Got Mail!” alerting her to the fact I’m one of seven people left on planet Earth still using AOL. I immediately hit mute, but the damage was done. Out there was the information that I was a Luddite, and old to boot, still using an email server that went out of vogue with bellbottoms, leisure suits, and Nehru jackets.

“I’m sorry,” I said, blushing. “I, uh, I’m one, you know... I still use AOL. I’m sorry.”

“That’s OK,” she laughed.

“Well, it’s just that,” I continued to babble, trying to dig out of my technophobic hole and failing miserably, “AOL… I’ve had it for so long… I mean I do have a Gmail account, but this is… well, I’m used to it and, you know….”

“Honestly, it’s OK,” she said in a way that smacked of a nursing home aide wiping oatmeal off an old man’s chin. “My dad still uses it, and I think my grandmother, too.”

I’ll give her credit, she didn’t seem at all embarrassed by saying it.

Paul E. Kandarian can be reached at pkandarian@aol.com PAUL KANDARIAN is a lifelong area resident and has been a professional writer since 1982, as columnist, contributor in national magazines, websites and other publications.

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