GETTING HER TO RESPOND

LIFE GETTING HER TO RESPOND

Dating in 2023 requires men to understand what attracts women. Try using these methods to find and get the woman of your dreams.

By Bolling Smith

It’s no secret that dating today absolutely sucks. Finding love has become a part-time job for those who want to date with purpose. First are the dating apps that are starting to prove to be less and less effective. Then there are the reduced opportunities to meet people if you’re not an outgoing person. Lastly, the blind date is becoming a thing of the past because no one wants to be responsible for your next failed relationship. However, if you are still motivated to get out there and date, there are some tips that men can use to attract and find love. Women today are more independent than ever. They outnumber men almost 2 to 1 for active singles but get hit on constantly and mostly by married men. So, they have, rightfully so, some issues with the process of dating. Remember, women have seen it all, heard it all, and can spot a player a mile away. If you are trying to date with the true intention of creating a meaningful relationship, there are things you can do to stand out from the crowd and make her want you, if you so desire.

Women have heard a ton of one-liners and comments from men. So, they are almost too prepared to deny men a chance to communicate beyond a “hello.” The perfect complement today is not to compliment them at all. When you meet a woman you might be interested in, walk up to her, and start a conversation about anything other than her beauty or body. Because she has heard that she is beautiful from everyone, try to stay away from that compliment. Find something else you can bond with her over. She will appreciate the fact that you didn’t comment on her physical attributes and will become interested in you. This will allow you to begin to frame the relationship on something other than her if you only want sex. There are other ways to compliment her, e.g., communication, education, choices in food, and how she interacts with people around her — but stay away from commenting on her looks or body. You will get farther than you think.

NEVER DOUBLE TEXT

Once there is an exchange of numbers, there is a proper way to communicate through texting. Women expected to be pursued. They are often texted by multiple men if they are single. If you are going to leave a lasting impression, you must never double-text. Double texting is when you send a message, don’t get a response for a certain period, and then send a second text following the first one. In fact, men who allow periods of time between texting develop a higher level of interest in the women they text. Texting is now a large part of the dating process. Some women prefer talking and some prefer texting. If you would like the relationship to advance, don’t overcommunicate with her. That way, she’ll crave your voice, and eventually you.

DRIVING FROM THE DRIVER’S SEAT

The feminist movement has created an entire culture of women who are proud, independent, and career-driven. So, when they meet a man, they are checking to see if he can lead them. Leading them in life, decision-making, and protection. If you’re looking to attract a mentally strong woman, you can never surrender your position as a man. This means mentally or physically. Don’t let her drive you when traveling anywhere. Don’t drive her in her car until after you have driven her in your car. If you relinquish this position, it is only a matter of time before you are devalued in her mind. Strong independent women, whether they admit it or not, do need men who can lead and protect. They might say that they don’t, but when they meet a man who exhibits the proper characteristics of a strong dominant man, they will begin to soften and allow him to lead.

AN UNEXPECTED GIFT AT AN UNEXPECTED TIME

There is nothing like making a good first impression. For men who want to date amazing women, keeping their interest will be paramount. To build and maintain a positive impression, make sure to listen when she is talking. Women will tell you to want they want, and need, through conversation. Strong women will not ask for anything. Strong women will communicate their desires while hanging out, window shopping, and enjoying spending time with you. If you can capture those moments by remembering her Starbucks order, picking up her favorite lunch or going to her choice of restaurants, you’ll win favorability with her and then win her heart.

An unexpected gift at an unexpected time means that you are attuned to her on a deeper level. It means that you are paying attention to her like no man ever has, which will create a bond wherein she’ll begin to desire you. Her desire for you is the goal. You want to find a woman who chooses you, instead of you choosing her. But it all starts with you. If you can work in some of these suggestions, it might increase your chances of dating the woman you want. Dating today requires introspection, self-assessment, and work. It requires an understanding of who you are and a deeper understanding of who you want to attract. But success can be yours if you practice the right approaches to get her attention and keep it. Happy hunting. ●

THE

DISRESPECTFUL SOCIETY

There is a new level of low as Americans show no respect for each other or themselves. If this trend continues, society will continue to crumble.

by David Christel

The incomparable Aretha Franklin, the “Queen of Soul,” sent this song skyrocketing to #1 on the Billboard charts in 1967 and it became a universal call to action for the civil rights and feminist movements. Its intrinsic message that everyone deserves to be heard and respected struck a deep chord for many. Sadly, its intent seems to be falling on deaf ears these days. The word “respect” generally means to have high regard for another person: who they are, their ability to survive and thrive, their actions and accomplishments — their character. People often want to emulate them, and follow in their footsteps. It’s a double-edged sword. What Americans have witnessed over many decades is millions of people blindly following others, even if what they’re doing displays the rock-bottom dregs of human behavior. They’re willing to “overlook” people’s shortcomings and how they treat others, while conversely showering them with adulation for being allegedly “groundbreaking” or showing a complete disregard for social conventions, niceties, manners, legalities, honor, integrity, and … well … respect.

It’s safe to say that the definition of respect has been transmuted into an anything-goes attitude that shows a complete disregard for the feelings of others. No longer are people concerned about or even aware of the recuperations of their actions on others. All that seems to matter is satisfying their personal agendas, whether that’s celebrity, wealth accumulation, gaining an advantage, and/or power and control. The pushback to this ill-mannered approach to living with other humans is that what some people are trying to do is analogous to attempting to enforce parental controls on unruly children. The more stringent measures of book banning, white-washing history, returning to marginalizing certain people and groups through the denial of civil rights, and legislating supremacist ideals show just how fearful and anxious so many have become.

address the deeper emotional landscape underlying the “behavior of mediocrity and insensitivity” a large part of the population seems to be devolving toward these days. Plainly, things are spiraling out of control. It seems today that so many people have no respect for anyone, not at home, in schools, communities, churches, businesses, or within government. Deborah Norville, in her book The Power of Respect, reports that Americans:

79 percent say lack of respect is a serious problem. 60 percent say rude and selfish behavior is increasing.

88 percent sometimes encounter rude people. 62 percent are bothered by rude behavior. 77 percent see clerks ignoring customers. 58 percent encounter aggressive drivers. 56 percent are bothered by foul language. USA Today reported in an article that the statement “students respect teachers” dropped from 70 percent to 31 percent. With the statement “parents respect teachers,” the percentage Marybeth Harrison, a public-school speech therapist in Hunterdon County, NJ, says, “We have gone from a time when parents believed what the teacher said in regards to their child’s behavior and reacted accordingly to the present, where parents stare in disbelief and think of a million excuses as to why their child misbehaves.” She also stated that teachers are the first to be blamed. “It’s time for parents to start ‘parenting’ and teach manners, respect, etc. at home. Let teachers teach.”

Obviously, something needs to be done before America reaches a tipping point of no return. Respect, though, is relative, something that’s based on one’s personality, how they were raised, beliefs and values, religious upbringing, politics, education, culture and community, and life experiences. Taking these into account, friction develops because what’s considered acceptable to one person or group is viewed differently by others. The Council on Quality and Leadership states: “It may be easy to recognize the absence of respect. When understand-

ing how other people see and interpret the world around them, dialogue is our most effective tool. The active exchange of ideas and opinions provides insight into the most important variables that define individual expectations for respect.” They also say that the process of establishing respect requires non-judgment of others in all regards. This is true not only in one’s personal life but in their work life.

Forbes magazine reported that the top five things employees look

for in their job are: stability, compensation, respect, health benefits, and work/life balance. Many people today are demanding respect, but not giving it in return except conditionally. Ken Makovsky, writing for Forbes, stated, “… as HR Directors check in on employees informally, they should discuss if the employee feels respected, and if not, why not. The respect factor is a moving target and should be addressed at least twice annually. It should be asked in employee surveys, both individually and looking at the culture as a whole. The data should be collected, as new patterns often emerge, and solutions evolve.” Respect is a fundamental component for any relationship to thrive and endure wherein all parties feel seen, heard, understood, and valued. Inherent within each person is the desire and drive to excel admirably, to thrive excellently, to give selflessly with grace, inspiration, dignity, consideration — and

respect. It applies to every aspect of one’s life. It’s the beginning of 2023, the year in which humanity can choose to put every individual back on track to re-enlivening all of life for everyone! As Kay Rala Xanana Gusmao said, “Freedom goes hand-in-hand with mutual respect.” ●

“Obviously, something needs to be done before America reaches a tipping point of no return.”