Wanderings
Wanting to block them all out, yet consumed by the desire for greater human connections, deep and true. Still, I hide in my own world. A postmodern reality, each inhabitant with his/ her own world, one that only they can understand. How can one ever form a lasting bond? Relying on those inner thoughts emotions. Those that exist in a trancendant reality. Perhaps.
Distance. Maybe it won’t be so
terrible afterall. This magical energy of being alone. In the strangest of ways, it compliments the deep warmth of love. A vision of them, right by my
side. Them, imagining the same. We’re together in a better space, one not
tainted by a harsh reality. Its soft focus and clear.
You are wrong if you think joy eminates only or principally from human relationships.
Unlike most of us, he was the type of person who insisted on fulfilling his dreams. Two years ago my idenity felt so clear. A fighter, dreaming of artistic splendor and far off lands. Only one of those aspects remains, and even it hangs by a thread. I idealize my old constructed idenity, hoping to obtain it once more. Those dreams, those aspirations, that [undying] will to find true contentment.
The first time in two years. Staring without him. Without them. Flitering ghosts of a glowing memories. A simple notion that does little justice. Longing for their return, I can still get them back. A feeling for them that ever-lasting. Are they till there? Yes. Perhaps a lack of action is what draws them away.
Sleep Sleep. Night after Night. Laying Awake in your arms. You lying awake in mine. Is this an endless sleep? Maybe an end.
What’s the worth of going this alone.
Wanderings Fall 2011 Wander: To walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way. A beautiful few months are comming to a close. Running towards love, moving forward at a fierce pace, never stoping to embrace what I’ve lost. Is the past gone for good? Have things changed beyond repair? Only now, stepping back, I see a struggle that remains in the shadow of a bustly daily life. Complexities are engagled in my own simplicities. My own sense of self has been shaken to the core as I move aimlessly. Where have I gone? No where at all? Here is evidence of things lost, friendships and peices deep within. A darkness looms about my shifting idenitiy. Still, a certain beauty rains supreme... Images, design, & text by C. Cole Saladino