THE PURPOSE OF MAKING LEMONADE

Maria Azcona

Many people spend their entire lives looking for their “raison d’être”, or to put it another way, what we think we should be doing to live our lives at one hundred percent perfect capacity. Seeing as there is no rule book or instruction manual that is printed on our baby bums when we are born, although society tries its hardest to make us conform to what it believes we should be and how we should behave, should we be writing our own rules instead of doing what is “expected” of us? Is it true to say, therefore, that the world is divided into the conformers and what I like to call renegades? Absolutely - with bells on! It isn’t until the proverbial hits the fan that many of us start to question whether this is our lot in life, or if we actually have a different purpose after all, because what we have done until that point now seems wrong or redundant. Let me share an example with you: I had an Auntie who dedicated her life to God and humankind. She was a highly qualified woman, a working nun with the Sisters of Charity, whose mission it is to serve communities they are assigned to by having community-facing jobs such as teaching, social work, caring work, the medical profession etc. Rewind to 1998 when I had been married for 8 years but was looking at my impending divorce. I had a real problem with my conscience because in the back of my mind, I could not help but wonder what my beautiful Auntie, who was a walking advert for love, peace and tolerance would make of me being divorced.

I felt such a failure in that instance, being a divorcee with two little babies, with no idea what had gone wonky in my relationship. I spoke to her about how I was feeling, and she taught me one of the most valuable lessons, one which changed the course of my life.

I told her that divorce was certainly NOT what I had ever envisaged or indeed had signed up for. Her answer was so simple: throughout our lives, we will change direction and paths so many times - some more than others. She said that my marriage time was now up and that my mission from that point was to search and find another purpose with my boys, no husband, and the new title of divorcee.

She said that as humans, we are born to fulfil many roles throughout our lives, although many choose just a few or even just the one, thinking that changing your purpose and role is somehow wrong, flippant, unnecessary, extravagant; that we should conform

to what most of the society thinks one should do – to lay in the bed that we have made for ourselves. Sometimes having one purpose or role in life is perfect, in other words, that particular shoe fits and is worn throughout life. The majority though, do wear multiple shoes during their life; some grumbling at having to change constantly and never being satisfied, whilst others relishing every single change like an actor having multiple roles in a play and having to change backstage. I think I fit in to the last category. My search for purpose continues and is not over yet, nor will it be until my last breath. It does not mean that I am disgruntled with what I do. No, no, no, not in the slightest. In life, when you are given lemons, you have a choice: either put them in the fruit bowl and watch them rot or make lemonade that is going to quench your thirst, (sweet or sour, depending on taste and lemons).

Have I reached my purpose in life? Yes, many times; each time changing and adapting to the sort of “lemon” that life is giving me at that particular moment and what is needed to quench that thirst. In the last two years, many things have happened which mean a new purpose in life has had to be found time and time again. From an accident which resulted in broken bones, and an inability to carry on with a previous job and lifestyle, lamentable diagnoses, and untimely deaths of loved ones, to (yes, I will mention it) the big C19 keeping us cocooned in our safety bubble with the best excuse under the sun to crawl into bed and stay there for a long time. Would I choose to re-purpose my lifetime, and have my time again entirely by myself? Nope. It really is that simple. It took collaboration to land the job I am currently doing, providing others, myself included, with an income and even more importantly with the purpose to keep people safe in the world. I didn’t suddenly get out of bed one morning and think, “I want to be a risk assessor”. Someone in a networking group took the time to get to know me and realise that I needed Risk Reports and Risk Reports needed me. I found purpose. Along a different but just as important path, it has taken collaboration with this marvellous team at Collaboration Global to make me sit at a keyboard and pour my heart out with the hope that if just one person is motivated to get up and call me toconfirm, discuss, or even argue and tell me how wrong I am, then I have found my purpose in this article.

On Friday when I had to tell my dear 75-year-old friend that her son had suddenly died, I found my purpose.

When I acted the clown yesterday and made my entire family laugh at a poignant moment which could have turned sad in its discovery, I found my purpose. So in the search for purpose, we will discover our strengths if we let ourselves morph and allow our shoulders to shrug and say “OK, bring it on”. Either that, or just accept that (according to the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy) the answer is indeed 42 after all.

You can contact Maria at:

Email: maria@riskreports.org.uk Telephone: 07942 720810 Website: www.riskreports.org.uk