Quilt Lessons

Lois Krogh

It started with this conversation.

Daughter: “Can I have the wedding ring quilt you aren’t using on your bed anymore?”

Me: “Sure. Let me ask Dad just to check.”

Dad: “No way. That’s the best weighted layer for reading late at night. Just make her one like it.”

Designing

And so, eight months later, I am almost finished just making one like it. Along the way, I have remembered how many life lessons can be learned as I progressed through the five steps to quilting: designing, piecing, layering, stitching and finishing.

A quilt begins with a chosen design and fabric selection. Out of thousands of options for designs, one must be chosen. Choosing the fabric is even harder. My sons still have visceral reactions to the mere suggestion of stopping by a certain fabric store to see what’s new. I have been guilty of turning “I’ll just be a minute” into a long stop comparing the colors and patterns of multiple bolts of fabric. In the best scenarios, the boys were elbow deep in the store’s tub of mismatched buttons. On not-so-good days they were at my elbow whining, “Can we go now. P-le-ee-ease!” Eventually, a decision must be made. It must be this design and not that. These fabrics and not the others. We cannot live indefinitely with options. It is paralyzing. Making a choice is not limiting; it is freeing. If a quilt is to be enjoyed, choices must be made. Wasn’t Elijah’s problem with the people of Israel their “limping between two different opinions”? (1 Kings 18:21) Making the initial choice— “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15) forever defines one’s life and sets the standard for making the thousands of decisions to come.

Piecing

Piecing a quilt together may be my favorite part. After the fabrics are cut into small squares, triangles, arches or whatever the pattern calls for, they are sewn together one by one. I use a sewing machine. The quilt I am finishing has pieces in it. Most pieces are smaller than a one-inch square. It gives me such joy to see small things becoming something beautiful, little by little, until the design is complete. The process involves a lot of repetition. Light blue piece next to white piece next to dark blue piece. Do these another 258 times and then start over for the next row. As I sew, I can’t help but think of all the little things we did when we were raising our children. Feed, clean, put to sleep. And do it all over again hundreds of times. Read to, tie shoes, wipe noses. And do it all over again hundreds of times. Check on homework, drive someone someplace, talk about stuff. And do it all over again hundreds of times. Talk about Jesus, deal with heart issues, answer eternal questions. And do it all over again hundreds of times. But little by little, one piece at a time, the little things add up. A child grows up.

It is an old myth that mistakes in antique quilts were made on purpose to demonstrate humility. Mistakes are made because we are human. A perfectionist would never finish a quilt. She would probably never get past cutting the fabric. On the other hand, a quilter cannot have an anything goes attitude. Corners must line up. When you are dealing with small pieces and ¼ seams, a little bit off can be a long way off in the end! There is a delicate balance. When does a seam need to be taken out and restitched? When is it close enough? Did you know it required wisdom and grace to sew a quilt? It helps in raising a child as well. Being careless will be disastrous. Fretting about doing it right will only tie you in knots. There is only one perfect parent, our heavenly Father. I have had to learn to rely on him to guide me in decisions and to cover my mistakes.

Layering

My least favorite part of quilting is the layering. It should be the simplest. It takes the least amount of time, and it can be done in a day while the other stages can take months. Three layers are put together: the top of the quilt, the one pieced together, an interior insulation or batting, and the back side, usually one large piece of fabric. The edges of each of the layers must be lined up carefully. Once in place, the layers are held together with basting stitches or large safety pins made for this specific purpose. To do this well, two, no three, things are necessary. A very large flat surface and a generous amount of backing and insulation. And patience. I rarely have all three. Once, to get the large flat surface needed, I pushed together four lab tables at a school where I taught. It worked. Obviously, this option is not always readily available. Then there is the need for generosity. The layering process works better if the back fabric and insulation are at least a foot wider than the pieced top layer on all sides. This extra fabric allows for better alignment and will eventually be cut off. Economy is my strong suit, which means generosity is not. After all the money is put into the fabric for the top, it is hard for me to buy the extra back fabric and insulation that is needed knowing a good portion of it will go to waste. Yet when I buy “just enough,” I have realized that too many times I will get three sides lined up and pinned only to find the fourth side doesn’t match. This is when my patience runs out. There are often tears. If cursing were the sin that so easily beset me, the room would be blue. All because I didn’t want to have to buy more than the bare minimum. It seems that generosity increases efficiency. Who knew? “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” (2 Cor. 9:6). I’m afraid I would have been the one criticizing Mary’s use of expensive oil to anoint the feet of Jesus. Oh, how I want the Lord to make me generous in my love for him and others.

Living in community with other believers helps us in our weaknesses. With the quilt I am finishing now, I outsourced this third step. Quilting stores have large flat tables, yards of insulation and back fabric and a miracle sewing machine called a long arm. I had thought that this was only used for top stitching. When I learned it could be used for layering and putting down the basting stitches, my life changed. I brought the top layer I had pieced into the store. My new friend Karen decided how much batting and backing was required to do the job. I wasn’t allowed to be stingy. Without one tear shed, the layers were together and ready to come home. We need community in our sanctification as well. I need others around me who are strong where I am weak. All of us are out of balance. We all swing too far one way or the other on the pendulum of right living. We need each other to bring us back to center.

To use the Scriptural analogy in Ephesian 4:15,16: “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”

Stitching

I’m almost finished with the fourth step when the necessity of stitching the three layers together becomes a thing of beauty in and of itself. I could have had Karen machine stitch the layer together. Most quilts you buy in a store are done by machine. Many quilters do this because there are so many options for the design and the top stitching will continued on next page be done “machine perfect.” I like the old-fashioned way of setting up a quilt frame and stitching by hand. Similar to piecing, it gives me great satisfaction to see small individual stitches become an intricate pattern.

The quilt template we chose for the stitching seemed simple. I have done more complex ones. Having now used this one over forty times, I realize that simple does not mean easy. This one has no continuous lines of stitching which means threads must be knotted, hidden in the seams, knotted off, hidden again and this process must be done over and over. Sixteen times in each square. It is a stopping and starting all the time. So many things in my life seem to fall into the pattern of beginning again. Healthy eating and exercise habits. Planned days of cleaning and shopping. With Steve’s overseas travel assignments and the many times we happily host people in our homes, routines don’t last long. Thankfully I am growing content with the Lord’s sovereign plan for my days and have learned the practice of beginning each new day with new day mercies.

I’ve been stitching for four months. It is not an efficient use of time. I started quilting many years ago when I seemed to have plenty of time. When Steve was a pastor with a lot of evening meetings which meant after I put the children to bed, I had a lot of lonely evenings. Hand quilting was a good way to use the time and keep my heart from bitterness. While my fingers were sewing, I would pray. Pray for whatever meeting Steve was in that night. Pray for the children and whatever had happened that day. Pray and ponder. Quiet and quieting. This time around, I am occasionally listening online to St. Augustine’s Confessions. This quiet time has always been good for my soul.

Finishing

A quilt frame is used to hold at a proper tension the section of the quilt one is stitching while storing the section that is finished or yet to be worked on. The quilt is rolled on long dowels or rods (the width of the quilt) that make it look like a giant scroll. These dowels are held up in place at each end. As a row is finished the quilt is rolled off one dowel and onto the other. While stitching, you can only see two feet of the length of the quilt. Until the entire quilt is stitched, you will never see the whole at one time. A lot like our perspective on life. We see just a small slice of life. We can remember a bit of the past (and believe me, that past glance gets fuzzy!) and we have no real clue about the future. We have just what is in front of us. Jesus told us, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” For the day that is right in front of you, the preacher would counsel, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might. (Ec. 9:10). My hands have found a needle and thread. Today, I am stitching row six.

The plan was to carry the finished quilt with me on the plane when I visit my daughter. I’ve been counting squares left to stitch, but think I am running out of time. And I realize once done with this stitching there is still the last step. This finishing step seems inconsequential. A bias fabric binding usually no more than ⅜ of an inch wide must be sewed around the edges to hide the raw edges of the quilt. Notice the verb, must be sewed. Even though it is a small width of fabric, hardly noticed when completed, without this step, the edges are unsightly. They would distract from the beauty of the quilt.

I’ve never seen this simple step left undone. In the same way, I am confident that he who began a good work in me six decades ago will not let my ragged edges show for all of eternity. He is making something beautiful out of the pieces of my life. He has stitched them together with wisdom and grace. One day, on that final day, he will be done. All glory to his name!

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