From Guilt to Contentment

I had often heard the pastor tell the congregation that they should be giving money to the church as that meant giving it to God. I was a new Christian. Because I felt guilty when I didn’t put anything in the offering plate when it passed by, it seemed like the pastor was looking straight at me when he spoke.

You see, I had good excuses for not giving. I didn’t earn very much at my entry-level job and had debts outstanding. The payments on the student loan and car loan, rent, utilities and insurance left very little for food, much less putting something in the offering plate. I felt guilty about not giving to God, but frustration when I paid the bills each month. Even worse, I always wanted more—the next phone upgrade, a more fashionable jacket, or something else the advertisements told me I deserved.

And then I read Proverbs 23:4-5, “Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven.” That’s exactly the way I felt as the paycheck went into my account, and all these payments went flying out, leaving little behind. I slowly began to realize that God’s way is that he will provide for us as we seek his kingdom, not by my insecurity and worry and certainly not by how many hours I put in on the job.

I committed to myself that the next time the offering plate was passed, I would put in “something.” When I did, I half expected to feel a sense of foolishness because that was money I couldn’t use to buy food. Instead, I surprisingly felt joy and a sense that God was smiling. When I went food shopping the next week, I found that there were really good sales on many of the items I needed to purchase. God really was smiling.

I actually began to look forward to weeks when I could put a little more in the offering plate because God was removing the insecurity and doubt in my heart, replacing it with even more joy and contentment with the material things I had already. I started reading about ways to manage my funds better, I received some significant salary increases at work, and I was able to pay off some of the debt. I consistently increased my giving to God, and my joy continued to increase as well.

Pretty soon, I did something I never in a million years would I have dreamed I could or would do. I was asked to give my testimony about how I came to faith in the first place, and how I became a consistent giver by relying on God for my future. Not that I could just stand idly by and expect him to put money in my bank account. There are two Bible verses upon which I base my new financial perspective:

• In Luke 12:20 Jesus told a story about a rich farmer who was so successful he built bigger barns to store all his grain and goods, thinking to himself, “You have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.” The farmer felt that he had finally found security. But in the end, God said to him, “Fool, This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?”

• Just a few chapters later in Luke 16:13, it says “No servant can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.”

When I gave my testimony, I had so many people asking questions about how they could experience this kind of joy or sharing just how their journey to joy in giving paralleled mine. I’m eternally grateful to God that he showed me his way.

Anonymous stories of giving and generosity are welcome. If you have one or an idea related to this, email wtriggs@college-church.org. Such stories will appear under the heading “Giving Joy.”