Norman, Oklahoma College Parent Magazine

HELP THEM MAKE A BUDGET • FIND AN INTERNSHIP • STAY HEALTHY

Thrive in the New Normal FRESHMAN YEAR TRANSITION TIPS FOR THEM AND FOR YOU! ONLINE LEARNING HELP YOUR STUDENT SUCCEED FALL 2020 | NORMAN, OK

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Online Learning Is Here to Stay

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How Can an Internship Help Your Student?

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Help Your Student Thrive in the New Normal

36

Safety on Campus

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YOUR STUDENT IS STARTING COLLEGE! Parent-to-Parent Advice for the College Transition

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Hang On for the Freshman Year Roller Coaster

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Help Your Student Thrive in the New Normal

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Tips from a Student on Making it Through the First Year

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Caring for Yourself as the Nest Begins to Empty

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ONLINE LEARNING IS HERE TO STAY What Students Need to Be Successful in Online Classes

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Coach Your Student to Communicate with Professors

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STUDENT SUCCESS CHECKLIST Getting Involved on Campus

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How to Make and Stick to a Budget

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The Smart Off-Campus Housing Search

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How Can an Internship Help Your Student?

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WELLNESS & SAFETY MATTER MORE THAN EVER Options for Student Healthcare, On and Off Campus

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Help Your Student Access Mental Health Support

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Health Talks to Have with Your Student

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Safety on Campus

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MEET OUR WRITERS Meet Our Writers

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CONTENTS

Welcome to College Parent Magazine

KYLE MARTI

MARK HAGER

RACHEL HANLEY

CAROLINE DOUGLAS

FELICIA SHAW

NOELLE ANTHONY

BJORN BROBACK

BRENDA REDDAN

IANNI LE

KIMBERLY GARNETT

CATHERINE WARE

KELSEY GAST

SALLY BOLAND

MARK SELF

KADE O’CONNOR

DIANE SCHWEMM

REBECCA MAYTUBBY

ANNE MAYTUBBY

SHARON HADDAD

CASSIE STOFFER

CollegiateParent and College Marketing Group Team

If you’re holding a copy of this magazine, we want to congratulate you and your new college freshman for overcoming obstacles that students and families have never had to face before. With schools closing because of the pandemic, students finishing coursework online, and high school graduation ceremonies cancelled, spring 2020 was challenging to say the least.

Our students really rose to the occasion as they dealt with change and disappointment — pitching in at home and in their communities, creating new opportunities for themselves, and in general finding those silver linings. And now, despite uncertainty about how the fall term will unfold on campus, they’ve made the move and are college students!

Even in ordinary times starting college is an emotional transition, for students and for parents. We have dreams, goals and expectations but also loads of questions and

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concerns. This year, it’s understandable if your feelings lean more to the “worried” side of things.

We’re here to help. The desire to support students and their families during the college journey is what inspired College Parent Magazine. In the following pages, you’ll find advice about helping your student make a successful first year transition with practical tips you can share about everything from getting involved on campus (whether activities are virtual or in person) to communicating with professors. There’s information about safety, internships, budgets and more.

We haven’t forgotten health and wellness.

We know from experience that a student living a balanced life is more likely to be happy and successful, and with COVID-19 it’s more important than ever that students understand how campus health care works and take responsibility for their own health.

In this fall’s issue, we’re also highlighting tips for being a successful online learner, including recommendations for helpful technology so your student can be sure to make the most of their online classes. As more students take online classes as they pursue a college degree, we’ve also added

Magazine a section on our website devoted to Online Higher Ed — visit CollegiateParent.com to explore the resources.

Other special categories on our website include COVID-19 and College Families where you can find information and updates about how the pandemic is affecting campus life and student experience, and Equity, Diversity and Inclusion where we highlight content created to support students and families from all backgrounds and perspectives during a time when hearts and minds are focused on the pressing need for racial justice.

While you’re browsing our site, please take a moment to sign up for our parent newsletter, the Loop (bit.ly/loop-enews), so you don’t miss our newest articles and parent blog posts.

Our very best wishes to you and your student from the dedicated team at CollegiateParent and College Marketing Group. Stay well, and happy fall!

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YOUR STUDENT IS STARTING COLLEGE!

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Parent-to-Parent

Advice for the College Transition

By Amy Baldwin, Ed.D

My son’s university is 30 minutes away. He could easily commute from home but from the get-go made it clear he wanted to live on campus his first year. His dad and I supported this choice (even though I’m pretty sure it was mostly about the “all-you-caneat” dining hall options). And now it’s happening — Fall 2020 is here!

Although campus life will look very different this year, freshmen will face all the usual challenges as they navigate their new independence and responsibilities. Here’s how you can help!

Communicate Expectations This is a tried and true tip. The more you and your student set clear expectations, the easier time they’ll have when they need to make decisions on their own.

Do you expect them to call or text regularly?

You may ask that they check in at a certain day or time of the week. You may also ask them to let you know immediately if they are sick.

Do you expect them to let you know if they have a problem that they cannot manage?

You may ask them to share what they’re doing to deal with challenges, or request that they ask you for help when they’re unsure what they should do next.

One discussion I’ve had with my own son is the “Don’t be afraid to tell me you are failing” conversation. This included subtopics like “How can you tell if you are failing?” and “What resources are available if you struggle in class?” As an educator, I know that he’ll have at least one challenging course this year, and I want the lines of communication wide open when it happens. He knows there will be no judgment, no shame, just support and advice (if he wants it).

Remind Them of Their Resources Campus resources range from academic services, like tutoring, to health services, such as screenings and counseling. Grab that brochure, watch that informational video, and scour the website to learn more about what’s available. Then talk about these resources with your student as though they’re a normal and necessary part of every college student’s existence (because they are).

Here are a few ways to do this: “Remember, if you’re not sure how to complete an assignment, visit with your professor. Upperclassmen do this all the time.”

“If you don’t feel well, make an online appointment at the health clinic so you can be seen immediately. Don’t wait until you feel worse.”

“Stop by the tutoring center in the first few weeks and find a tutor who can help you with your courses. If you don’t need the tutor after all, you can use that time to study on your own.”

Take a Step Back This suggestion has never been easy for some of us, and may be even harder knowing that there’s a lot at stake in how we manage our habits, behaviors and choices during this pandemic.

Stepping back doesn’t mean stepping out of the picture entirely. It means watching, waiting and encouraging your student to handle issues themselves first.

This is especially true when it comes to your student’s courses. A call to the department chair or email to the professor will not go over well — and possibly run afoul of the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).

I’ve talked with students who were mortified that a parent had called me to ask about their grades. This tactic can undermine the progress your student is making in learning how to advocate for themselves.

Instead, coach your student on what to say and when to say it. As hard as it may seem, it’s better for them in the long run if they stumble a bit and pick themselves back up. Notice I didn’t say that it may be better for them to fall off a cliff. Of course, when extreme situations call for it, stepping in to help is appropriate.

Stay Flexible As I write this shortly before students return to campus, I realize that things can still change. My son may have to commute after all. He may have to wait another year to get the “real” college experience. Adjusting my expectations and remaining flexible is really the only way to get through this...but I really am hoping I don’t have to turn my kitchen into an all-you-can-eat buffet.

CollegiateParent.com | 9

Hang on

for the Freshman Year Roller Coaster

By Shari Bender

Imagine your teen’s perfect college freshman year. A roommate who is their new best friend. A meticulously organized dorm room complete with coordinating sheets from Dormify. Classes taught by world-class professors, and your student’s hard work culminating in a 4.0.

From afar, you watch them masterfully juggle the new social scene while taking full advantage of the vast array of extracurriculars. If this is your last child to fly the nest, you may have visions of skipping off into the sunset relishing the new freedom with grand plans of your own.

Now throw that freshman fantasy right in the trash and saddle up for what can be one helluva ride.

My first child’s experience was fairly straightforward, but her younger brother’s path was topsy-turvy. Deferred in the early

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round by his Dream School, he filled out 11 more applications. Regular decisions rolled in. He was waitlisted at Dream School.

He committed to another lovely college and made it Instagram official. Two weeks later his cell phone buzzed. Just like that he was off the waitlist at Dream School, #1 in his chosen field of study! Amazing right? Not so fast. He was offered a spot as a Spring admit — meaning he would start a full semester after his peers, in January in freezing upstate New York. He decided to take the offer and start his college career at community college while living at home.

Starting college after 95% of your class is difficult, but my son found his peeps and settled in. Then Week 7 of freshman year, COVID-19 rumblings began. Was a campus closure imminent? Week 8 resulted in 48 hours’ notice to vacate. Eight short weeks after my son started his away college journey, he was back in his childhood room for the remainder of the online semester.

I have learned much during five years of college parenting and would like to share some nuggets of wisdom that should apply no matter what 2020–2021 has in store.

Expect a Roller Coaster of Emotions One day you are relishing your newfound parental freedom by seeing a Journey cover band on a Tuesday night, and the next day you’re sobbing on your child’s bed missing them and all their teenage angst.

freshman also knows where the student health center is and how to access care after hours. This is especially important during a pandemic.

Other Basic Must-Haves? ·

One day your student is so happy at school they vow never to return home again. Next day same student texts that they miss you and asks when you’re coming to visit.

Shower shoes. Trust me — you do not want your child stepping into a dorm shower without proper footwear.

·

Two days that pass without even a peep from your college freshman feels like an eternity, and when they finally answer at 2 a.m. they tell you “all good, but can you send some granola bars?” The next time you hear from your teen, they call in sheer panic about an anticipated failing grade.

Tool kit. Just because they don’t know how to use a hammer doesn’t mean they won’t need one. Screwdrivers in a few sizes are also nice to have on hand (especially the tiny ones for electronics).

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Hand sanitizer. Find ones that hang from a backpack, and ones that pump or spray — kids will use it more if it’s easier.

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Water filtration pitcher. Eliminate the expense and waste of the plastic water bottle.

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Step stool. Even if your child is on the basketball team, a step stool will come in handy.

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Masks. Washable as well as disposable ones.

Respect Boundaries The adjustment for both of you takes time.

Stay in regular contact via text, and learn to schedule calls. Respect your student’s boundaries and understand their time constraints.

Encourage but don’t smother your student.

Ask pointed questions about a class. Instead of “How’s financial accounting going?” (likely to elicit a one-word response like “terrible”), ask “What’s the hardest thing about financial accounting?” Remind your student to reach out to professors during office hours and take advantage of TAs before an issue arises.

Create a First Aid Kit Remember when your little one started pre-school or kindergarten and immediately got sick constantly? Likely your freshman will come down with run-of-the-mill colds and stomach bugs. A thermometer and basic over-the-counter meds (with written explanations) are a must. Make sure your

College during COVID-19 does look different.

But what remains the same is this is the time in your child’s life for them to grow and learn exponentially and navigate the new normal on their own.

Surrender to the process. They may struggle to make friends, meet the love of their life, fail a class or chose a major you never even knew existed. It is their journey, and our job as parents is to support and help guide them.

And of course, don’t forget to take the prerequisite parent-child selfie and the defining college-freshman-on-bed pic.

You got this!

CollegiateParent.com | 11

Help Your Student Thrive in the New Normal

By Marybeth Bock, MPH

Over the past decade, the word “hybrid� (formerly associated with vehicles or plants) has been used to describe college classes that combine face-to-face instruction with online activities. Students going to college this fall will experience hybrid in a whole new way as schools across the U.S. blend old and fresh elements for every aspect of campus life.

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Classes It may be awhile before huge lecture halls once again overflow with students. If not held fully online, large classes are likely to be sectioned into smaller groupings. Some students may meet outside or in a separate location with a Teaching Assistant (TA).

Students may rotate in clusters spread out in the auditorium while others observe live online. Lectures and labs may occur during more wide-ranging hours and on weekends.

Residential Life Schools are busy working on ways for students to live together but with practices that protect health and safety. Temperature checks, hand sanitizer, masks and locationsharing apps may become daily rituals on many campuses. Students may be spaced out more in their residence halls, or be grouped in smaller cohorts. Those exhibiting symptoms of illness may be asked to selfisolate for a period of time.

Meals Dining halls and on-campus eateries will adapt in the way that most restaurants have, with more take-out options, extra prepackaged meals and snacks available, spread-out seating and elevated cleaning protocols.

Social Gatherings Depending on a school’s location and size, gatherings may be limited to a certain number and many more events and meetings will be carried out on digital platforms.

Students may be joining clubs and organizations entirely online or may be told they’ll have to wait until second semester for a more traditional experience. Watching a school’s teams participate in athletic competitions may be a virtual or partially limited experience for a while.

No matter what a new college student will encounter in the fall of 2020, they’ll need to embrace a mindset that includes three key concepts.

First of all, flexibility.

Rules may evolve constantly depending on how the COVID-19 pandemic plays out on campus and regionally. Our students should be prepared for a fair amount of adjustment, perhaps as often as on a weekly basis.

They’ve gotten used to these kinds of changes, and we can help them reframe disappointments into challenges. This adventure will only help them build resilience throughout college and into the future.

Secondly, patience.

There will be delays. There will be lines (appropriately distanced). There will be frustration and sometimes there will be anger. Some rules will seem logical and others simply annoying. If students start their academic year acknowledging these challenges, and knowing they are mostly temporary, they’ll move through them much more easily.

Thirdly, respect.

Without a doubt, students will encounter others with a different attitude about social distancing and following recommendations from their college administration or their state and local governments.

This is a fact of life with large groups of people anywhere. Respecting boundaries and keeping in mind that personal health is a sensitive issue will serve all of our students well.

This entering first-year class will swiftly feel how bonded they already are from day one.

They experienced a life-altering high school senior year. Every single one of them can emotionally relate to each and every other freshman they will meet.

They will share stories of loss and pain and grief. They will arrive with abundant empathy for one another and a strong willingness to help each other out. Because they all know what it’s like to feel scared and unsure about the future.

The hybrid college experience of 2020–21 will be novel, just like the tiny particles that spread quickly to change our world. But this class of resilient freshmen will acquire a skill set and a mindset that is novel as well — and they will undoubtedly change our world for the better.

It may be awhile before huge lecture halls once again overflow with students. If not held fully online, large classes are likely to be sectioned into smaller groupings.

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CollegiateParent.com | 13

Tips from a Student on Making It Through the First YearÂ

By Kate Gallop

This fall will look a little different. First-year students will need to adapt to both the normal changes in lifestyle and new adjustments because of the pandemic. Here are the things I wish I knew before my first year in college.Â

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1

Manage Your Expectations

College is a hugely idealized time of life.

Before move-in day, my expectations were loosely based on things my older friends and siblings said, Instagram posts and movies.

I expected non-stop adventures with a fun group of friends. In reality, it took a while for me to find people I truly connected with.

I didn’t have something happening every night, and I didn’t always feel like myself, so I assumed I was doing something wrong. I wish I’d known that I wasn’t. I wish I’d given myself the freedom to live in the moment without dwelling on pre-conceived notions of the “college experience.”

“It’s okay if you feel like you don’t relate to your peers instantly even when it seems like everyone else is. It takes time to adjust.” UC Berkeley sophomore

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Make Time to Relax

At the beginning of my first semester, I was worried that if I took time to myself I’d miss out on something. I loved meeting new people and exploring St. Louis, but there were definitely times when I probably should’ve said no to things but went anyway.

I got sick the minute I arrived home for fall break and slept a ton. That’s when I realized I was getting burnt out.

I started choosing to stay in when I felt tired instead of pushing myself to be involved 24/7. Whether it’s watching Netflix, reading a book or drawing, it’s important to check in with yourself and do the things that keep you relaxed. When I took a little time each week to be alone, I had more energy and the social events I attended became more enjoyable.

“Nothing is make or break. If you’re rundown, take a night off.”

Washington University sophomore

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Plan Out Your Time

Summer before freshman year, I worried that I wasn’t smart enough for college. This fear grew stronger as I sat through my first classes and leafed through syllabi, overwhelmed by the number of things I’d be responsible for throughout the semester.

I didn’t remind myself that I got into the school for a reason. I did however write every assignment in a planner, noted the extra busy weeks, and attended all my classes.

It turned out there was more than enough time to do everything I needed to. I stayed on top of things and, slowly, college stopped feeling so drastically different from high school. I still took late nights to study for exams and finish papers, but I stopped believing I was out of place.

“Getting a calendar will help with time management because your college schedule gets busy and takes time to adjust to.” Miami of Ohio sophomore

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Leave Some High School Attitudes at the Door

In high school, if a group of my friends got together without me, I’d take it personally.

This changed completely in college. People tend to make plans based on who happens to be somewhere in the moment. You might grab lunch with someone who has the same break between classes that you do, and go to dinner with residence hall floormates because you were already in the common room studying together.

In high school, lunch is a major time to socialize. Friends sit together and people look at you if you sit alone. This, too, changes in college. Everyone has different schedules, and oftentimes you won’t run into someone you know. It felt so freeing when I realized that no one notices or thinks anything less of someone sitting alone.

“Going to a smaller high school, it felt like eyes were on me all the time...

The unabashed freedom of college is liberating.” Montana State sophomore

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Put Yourself Out There

While it’s perfectly normal to eat alone, it’s important to get to know people, and meals can be a great way to do that. Some of the best advice I got before my first year is, when you meet someone you connect with, ask for their number and make meal plans.

I knew no one at my college before movein day. As nervous as I was, I made sure to introduce myself to the other people moving in on my floor, and I’m so happy I did — it’s the easiest ways to make your dorm start to feel like home. If you don’t click with anyone on your floor, don’t worry. Clubs and classes are another great way to find people you have something in common with.

“Spend time in the common room in your dorm instead of your room because it’s a good way to meet friends.”

Miami of Ohio sophomore “I wish I knew that it’s okay to be nervous because everyone feels the same way. Put yourself out there and try something new.”

University of San Francisco sophomore

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Get Excited!

If classes are held on campus this fall (fingers crossed!), returning students will be so excited to be back and you should be, too!

Even with a shortened freshman year, my school now feels like a second home.

Begin the year ready to meet a ton of new people and excited about what comes next.

It takes time for things to fall into place, but once you find a new routine and people you connect with, you’ll never want to leave.

CollegiateParent.com | 15

Caring for Yourself

as the Nest Begins to Empty

By Deborah Porter

As your children begin to go after their dreams, have you given any real thought to what lies ahead for you ? When everyone is gone, pursuing all that they desire, who’s left?

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I’ve always said that motherhood is the one job you give your absolute all to, only to work yourself out of that job. A mother’s hope is that her children go and make the world a better place with every tool she’s given, every lesson she’s attempted to teach and with all the confidence she’s imparted.

But if they no longer need us, which is the goal, what do we do with all of the love, time and effort that we’ve so freely given for 18 years or more? Well, I’m glad you asked.

According to the Mayo Clinic, Empty Nest Syndrome is a phenomenon in which parents experience feelings of sadness and loss when the last child leaves home. Missing our kids is normal. There has been a certain rhythm to our homes and our lives with and for them for 18 years. Their sudden departure signals the start of a new and sometimes unsettling phase.

The Mayo Clinic also suggests ways to cope.

Accept the timing. Avoid comparing your child’s timetable to your own experience or expectations. Instead, focus on what you can do to help your child succeed when they do leave home.

Keep in touch. You can continue to be close to your children even when you live apart. Try to maintain regular contact through visits, phone calls, emails, texts or video chats.

Seek support. Share your feelings with loved ones and friends whose children have recently left home. If you feel depressed, consult your doctor or a mental health provider.

Stay positive. Thinking about the extra time and energy you’ll have to devote to your relationships, work or personal interests might help you adapt to this major life change.

I’ve been an empty nester for five years and I had to ask myself a question: What did I want to do now? Take a few minutes and ask yourself the same question and let it sink in. You no longer have to ensure the kids are taken care of before making plans to do something, go somewhere, have people over. My husband and I planned a trip for just the two of us every time we dropped one of our three kids off at college.

Not only that, my girlfriends and I began planning trips. A weekend here, a day trip there. Yes, there are a lot of things you won’t be doing anymore. Parent teacher conferences, all day track meets, soccer.

And yes, it’s sad but truth be told, I gave a

quiet hallelujah at the realization of it. Why? Because sitting at a wrestling match all day was great then, but that was then. And it’s time for something new, something for me.

What about taking the photography class you always wanted? Remember mentioning that you wanted to write a book? How about an impromptu trip to the mountains, alone if you’d like? Here’s the thing — self care is much more than a great mani pedi. What feeds you? What would you do right now if there were no boundaries, no obstacles?

Well, let’s plan that. Let’s DO that!

Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Learn something new, do something different. You don’t have to be great at everything in order to have fun.

You can also learn a new language. An actual language or just one word, the word “no.” As moms, we tend to say yes real quick to the outward things and no to the inward things.

But think about it like this — if you learn to say no more often, it frees you up to say yes to yourself and to the things that really matter to you.

I hope I’ve convinced you to make an investment in yourself. You deserve it. You’ve birthed, raised and sent a kid off to college.

You are worth taking time to do exactly what you want to do, for you and no one else.

CollegiateParent.com | 17

ONLINE LEARNING IS HERE TO STAY 18 |

What Students Need

to Be Successful in Online Classes

By Suzanne Shaffer

Last spring, the coronavirus pandemic forced colleges to transition abruptly to remote instruction. The experience was rough to say the least!

At its finest, online education uses digital technology to transform the learning experience; it’s so much more than a class on Zoom. As colleges and universities embrace and invest in this instructional model, we can expect big improvements in online higher education.

For Fall 2020, most schools plan a hybrid approach. Large lectures will likely be held online but smaller classes like labs and seminars may be held in person with physical distancing. Parents and students should be prepared to accept and adapt to this new normal.

You can help your student create a strategy for success in their online classes — share these tips! ·

·

Challenges with Online Learning Online and hybrid courses require students to follow precise instructions, work independently and meet deadlines to the minute. Frustrations with technology can hinder success. Some obstacles your student may face this year: ·

Lack of IT knowledge: If students or instructors don’t understand the technology, it can interfere with the coherent delivery of course material and the student’s ability to learn.

·

Lack of discipline: If a student doesn’t commit to the self-discipline required for online learning, it’s easy to fall behind.

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Competing priorities: Students living on campus while taking class online may find it tempting to use what should be “class time” for other activities.

Getting It Right Encourage your student to approach online and blended courses as they would any other course — it’s an opportunity to learn from a stellar professor, discover new academic interests, and connect with their classmates.

·

·

Be equipped with the right technology. Online learning is optimized with the proper tools.

Video conferencing requires a good microphone and headphones. A strong Wi-Fi or internet connection is crucial, along with an efficient desktop or laptop computer with up-to-date operating system.

Create an organized, comfortable study space. With so much extra time spent alone at a desk, your student needs a place where they can settle in, focus and feel energized. Help them set up a workspace with all the materials needed to study and books and other printed resources easily available. Lighting is important, as is an ergonomic chair.

Show up. This might seem obvious, but students actually need to sit down, attend the online class, and do the work. You’re spending money on this education, and online courses can deliver great value if your student treats them the way they would a traditional face-to-face class by putting in their best effort.

Use good time management. The flexibility of online classes can be a bonus but also makes it essential that your student carefully manage their schedule. At the start of the term, they should look at each syllabus and record assignments and exams on a calendar. For each hour of class instruction, they should expect to spend 2–3 hours on outside work (e.g., if a class meets in person and/or online for 3 hours each week, they’ll spend at least 6 hours on reading, studying and assignment completion). Encourage your student not to wait until the last minute to complete work or seek help if they need it.

·

Be accountable. Assignment details and deadlines will be posted online and that may be the only reminder.

Your student is responsible for keeping track of assignments. If they’re finding it hard to stay on task, suggest they find a study buddy in their class.

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Eliminate distractions. It’s extra easy to be distracted when attending class online. In order to focus as they would in a physical classroom, your student should turn off their phone, silencing social media and email notifications.

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Actively participate in the online forums. This will be key to enjoying and getting a lot out of the class (and doing well in it!), so encourage your student to contribute to discussions, ask questions, comment on projects, and in general engage with the class community.

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Build relationships. Online courses may make your student feel isolated, but they’re built around the concept of collaboration with instructors and fellow students. Virtual study groups are helpful in making person-to-person connections.

Your student should approach online classes with an open mind. It may not be what they’re used to and there will be a learning curve as they adjust. Colleges are adjusting to this new learning environment, too.

Patience and flexibility are the watchwords this fall!

CollegiateParent.com | 19

Coach Your Student to

Communicate with Professors

By Amy Baldwin, Ed.D

A freshman parent called my office last fall. Because I’m a department chair, I sometimes field general questions from parents, but this mom wanted very specific information. “Is there a way to log in to see my son’s grades?” she asked.

This question is becoming more common; many parents, used to online K–12 grade portals, expect the same access in college.

“No,” I said. Some of our faculty use an online learning management system, but others (like me) teach students how to track their grades the old-fashioned way — by collecting all graded work and using the formula in my syllabus. “But your son should be able to calculate his grade if he’s keeping up with his graded assignments.”

This did not satisfy her. She suspected he was floundering and wanted to know for certain. I reassured her that he was being coached through his First-Year Success course on how to stay on track and, more importantly, how to talk to his professors if he was concerned about his progress.

The student-professor relationship in college is one of the most important to cultivate. Professors want to develop strong relationships with their students, and students should want the same. Here are a few tips to guide your student through the process (whether in person or virtual) of creating an open line of communication with a professor. Pandemic or not, these are solid strategies for starting off the semester right!

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Establish a Relationship Early Professors will be happy to get to know your student before a problem arises. Any time during the semester (with the exception of the day before the final!) is a good time to reach out, but the sooner the better.

Your student should take cues from the syllabus about the best way to communicate with a professor. Is the professor available to meet in person or is email or an online meeting better? It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: If the professor prefers email, then use email and check it often.

When your student meets with the professor for the first time, it’s a good idea to have a list of questions ready. Here are a few that can help your student learn more about the professor’s expectations: ·

“I want to learn as much as I can in your class. What can I do to succeed?”

·

“I usually (fill in usual study practices).

What will work best for this class?”

·

“I want to be sure I start off with solid work in your class. Can I come see you before an assignment is due to make sure I’m on the right track?”

A solid relationship early in the semester can be helpful if your student’s circumstances change.

Because students share this fear with me, it’s worth telling you: Yes, professors really want to talk with students who’ve failed an assignment. No, they don’t think their students aren’t smart enough to pass their class.

Professors want their students to learn and to earn good grades. Your student shouldn’t be ashamed to speak to a professor about a class they’re failing. Reaching out demonstrates a willingness to improve.

Last spring when students moved home because of the pandemic, one of my students had to pick up extra shifts at his job so he could no longer join our class online at the designated time. Another student was dealing with limited internet access.

Practice Patience, Kindness and Self-Care

Faculty will want to know about any situation that makes it hard for a student to access their courses or show up to class if face-to-face sessions are held.

We learned this spring and summer that we are resilient, but the last few months have still been stressful on families and communities.

Despite lots of work on our end, faculty and administrators have no idea if our institutions’ plans will go well.

Create a Plan to Stay Organized Now more than ever your student needs a planner, preferably a large one that can be hung on a wall or anything that can be accessed easily. The students at my institution may be in hybrid classes held online and in person, and those designations may change from week to week. Your student may be asking themselves questions like “Am I meeting my psychology class in person for small group work this week or are we online?” A consistent organizational strategy will keep the chaos under control.

Seek Immediate Feedback after Graded Work If your student gets a low grade, or lower than anticipated — even if they think they know why — it’s good to check in with the professor as soon as possible. Here are a few ways your student can open a conversation after a low or failing grade: ·

“I reviewed my work. Can we go over what I did wrong so I understand what I should do differently next time?”

·

“I’m bummed I messed up that assignment. Would you help me see where I made mistakes?”

·

“Can we talk about how this low grade will affect my progress in the course? I want to be sure to make the improvements I need to raise my grade.”

Remind your student to practice patience and kindness to themselves and to others as they begin this unconventional fall term.

And know that, more than anything, their school wants them to be healthy and successful.

Check Email!

Encourage your student to check their official school email account daily.

Just as my university changed from on-campus to online in a matter of days last spring, your student’s college may institute quick changes at any time. The more your student reads and responds to email, the more prepared they’ll be.

If you can sign up for institutional announcements, often provided through the parent and family program, do so immediately.

CollegiateParent.com | 21

STUDENT SUCCESS CHECKLIST

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Getting Involved on Campus

by Kate Gallop

Ask Questions When considering which groups to join, be sure to understand their expectations for members. This includes what the joining process is like, the time commitment, how lenient they are about attendance, and whatever else you’re curious about. This will help you anticipate if the club will be a good fit. Many groups host information sessions after the activities fair where you can learn even more. It can be tempting to sign up for a ton of clubs — make sure you’re excited about each one you join.

Reach Out at Any Time

It’s never too late to join. If you stumble As you hear on every upon a club that sounds fun, don’t be afraid to reach out, no matter how far into the campus tour, colleges semester it is. Some groups only accept have clubs for everything. new members at the start of the term, but contacting them will help you be aware of Whether your student when you can join and your interest will be appreciated. My roommate emailed wants to get involved the photography club halfway through fall semester and attended her first meeting the in sports, volunteering, following week. advocacy, cultural groups, Support Other Activities Greek life or something There are other ways to make campus feel related to their academic small. Supporting friends in their activities throughout the year is a great way to feel interests, there’s a club connected on campus. I attended improv comedy sketches, acapella concerts or organization ready to and fundraisers. Going to events around campus helps you meet new people and welcome them (“or they support your friends, and you may even find can start their own!”). Here something you want to join. Look at posters, follow student activities on social media, and are ideas to share with your ask around! student as they acclimate Don’t Try to Do It All to their new campus At the start of freshman year, I felt pressure to find all the groups I wanted to join community this fall! immediately. Looking back, I could have

Do Initial Research

paced myself better. Activities are a great way to meet people but there will be time to try new things and get more involved as the semesters go by.

While activities fairs might look different due to social distancing guidelines, there are other ways to learn about clubs even before classes start. You can usually find a list of clubs with a short description and contact information by searching “campus life” or “student life” on the college website.

This is a great tool and helped me navigate my second activities fair better than my first because I knew what I was looking for.

Unfortunately, student organizations will probably look different this fall. Social distancing requirements might put some activities on hold altogether. Clubs will still want your student to join! The opportunity for new students to extend themselves, make new friends, continue the activities they love and find new ones won’t go away — it may just require more creativity.

My Experience with Activities When I arrived on campus as a freshman last year, everything felt so new. I woke up in a new room, found new classrooms, learned from new professors, ate new food and met new people. Those new things were all exciting, but there was also something unsettling about starting over completely. Each day I grew more used to my routine, but a few weeks in, something still seemed to be missing.

Then I attended the activities fair. I wandered around tables, and wrote out my name and email possibly too many times. Afterwards, I got emails from the clubs that looked interesting and went to a few first meetings.

When I joined Club Basketball, it wasn’t like starting over because it was a sport I’d played growing up.

It quickly felt natural to bond with the team, practice twice a week and, later, ask older players for advice.

Getting involved with sports early on helped me hold onto the things I loved to do. It was fun meeting people who shared the same interest, and I felt more situated on campus. However, by the end of the first semester, I felt I needed something else.

I joined Greek Life because I wanted to be part of a smaller community.

The scheduled social and philanthropic events added another element I’d been missing.

I love the things I’m a part of at my school, but I still don’t feel like I’m involved in everything I want to be. This fall, I might join the school newspaper, or a club centered around community service or mental health advocacy. Four years will go fast! I want to make the most of it.

CollegiateParent.com | 23

How to Make and Stick to a

Budget

By Cambria Pilger

Before settling on the budget I currently use, I experimented with different templates, eventually coming up with a format that works well for my life in college. Helping your student set up their first budget may feel daunting but don’t worry! Once you get the basics down, it should be easy for them to update and maintain.

Start by Creating a Spreadsheet Decide how long your student wants to budget for: a semester, a year, or through the end of college. If they’ve never made a budget, start small so it’s manageable right now.

The budget will have three main sections: Income, Expenses and Difference, each with subcategories. To organize the information, I recommend using an Excel spreadsheet or Google Sheets.

1

Income

If your student has multiple jobs, list each source of income separately. Include parent/family contributions (cash or from a 529 college savings account), scholarships and loan disbursements.

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2

Expenses

List the different ways your student spends their money — for required payments and for fun — in a given month. Common expenses are tuition, room and board, textbooks, food outside the meal plan, entertainment, transportation, phone, internet, insurance, credit card and miscellaneous expenses.

Expenses can also include charitable donations, savings and student fees. My school expenses include the obvious plus bus tickets, music lessons and a student loan section, where I itemize what loans I’ve received, calculate the monthly interest, budget how much I want to pay off each month and calculate the remainder of my loans after each payment. This is the probably the most useful section on my budget right now!

3

Difference

This is where you will calculate income minus expenses, and see if the budget balances out.

Next, Label the Spreadsheet Each column should be labeled by month. Each row will be a different income or expense category. Once the spreadsheet is labeled, begin inputting the numbers. Look at your student’s last school bill as well as personal receipts to find costs for tuition, fees, room and board, meal plan, textbooks, etc.

·

Don’t worry if the budget is tight. It is for most students. If expenses exceed income, your student can get a job or two to balance things out.

Check in with your student during a monthly phone or video call. Are they keeping up with their budget, or do they need help adjusting it? You may not be an expert on budgets, either, but by setting up an accountability meeting, you and your student can lean on one another in the learning process. And remember — by budgeting well now, they’ll establish a foundation for managing their finances after college and all life long.

Spreadsheets let you incorporate equations to calculate the difference or estimate your income for the next month. To learn how, go into “support” for the spreadsheet you’re using.

Note: It may help to create two budgets: an overview of yearly income and expenses and a specific break-down for one month. I find this to be a useful approach, as I can keep track of my monthly expenses on one and organize it into my four-year plan on another.

A Few Things to Keep in Mind Budgets are emergent. They can always change. Since the main goal is to help your student organize their money and plan for the future, their budget should be formatted in a way that works well for them. A simple list of finances and expenses could be the best option rather than a detailed spreadsheet.

You can use budgets for a lot of different purposes. I use mine to account for the payments that I’ve already made and to estimate future ones. I update it with everything that I pay for. For example, on my four-year budget, I might plan $100 for monthly personal spending money. I write into my one-month budget what purchases I make and at the end of the month total it to see how I lined up with my initial plan. If I spent more than I wanted to, I use that as motivation to spend less the next month. If I spent less, I celebrate, knowing that I used my budget well!

More Tips on Saving Money with a Budget ·

Look for used or cheap, rentable textbooks. Amazon, Chegg and Thriftbooks are three of my favorite sources.

·

Be wary of frequent take-out. As much as your student craves a break from dining hall food, encourage them to limit themselves to one meal “out” a week — and budget for it!

·

Budget strictly in order to save easily. Sometimes I intentionally budget less for things like textbooks or entertainment so I’m motivated to find the best deals. If I stay within my budget, it feels like I saved money!

College Budgeting Wo rksheet

Income

Direct Income

Yearly

College Savings Account

Monthly

Wages

Grants/Scholarships

Direct Income Monthly Total

Loan

Yearly

Unsubsidized

Monthly

Subsidized

Loan Monthly Total Total Monthly Income

Expenses Category

Yearly

Monthly

Fees Books/Supplies Housing Costs

Food Other Monthly Saving Goal

Total Monthly Expenses Balance (Total Monthly Income

- Total Monthly Expense)

As your student learns to manage

money, it’s important to create

a monthly budget.

Print out CollegiateParent’s Student Budget Worksheet at CollegiateParent.com/ finances/budget-worksheet

CollegiateParent.com | 25

The Smart Off-Campus Housing Search

By CollegiateParent

Though it may seem early to be thinking about next year’s housing, many college towns start preleasing in the fall and it can be a competitive process.

If your student will move off campus next year, they should be keeping tabs on available leases and on the lookout for next year’s roommate(s). Help them pin down what they have in mind: How many roommates (i.e. how many beds/bathrooms)?

Apartment or house? Do they need a parking spot? Bike storage? How close to campus would they like to be? Are there safety concerns?

Next, encourage them to utilize local student housing support services. The college housing office may have information about off-campus life. Some property management firms specialize in student rentals and can be a helpful place to start. During the pandemic, most leasing companies have been quick to implement virtual tours and diligent about providing prospective tenants with as many resources as possible.

It’s so important that your student and their roommate(s) end up with a safe, clean, convenient and affordable place, and they’re much more likely to have a successful housing search if they go about it the right way.

Here is essential advice to share.

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1

Begin with a Budget

Before your student starts looking, have a family conversation to determine what you can afford to pay for rent.

Things that will factor in: ·

Does your student hope to rent a onebedroom or studio or will they need/ want to share with roommates?

·

What are typical utility costs in the area? (electricity/gas/water)

·

How about “extras” like cable/internet?

·

Will there be transportation costs to get to campus?

·

Will your student need to purchase furniture and appliances?

·

Will you need to rent a moving truck, buy boxes, pay for a storage unit over the summer?

·

What will food costs total?

(Students can save money cooking for themselves, but it can be convenient, and healthier, to keep a partial meal plan.)

2

Meet the Landlord and See the Rental in Person (if Possible)

Some leasing companies or landlords can be difficult to work with, especially as a student. Have your student read reviews (if they can find them) to get an idea of a company’s management style — be sure to check on how management deals with tenant issues. Calling the leasing companies to schedule virtual tours is another way to get an impression of management. ·

Your student should include a friend or prospective roommate when meeting (virtually or otherwise) the landlord or property manager.

·

They should be sure to view the room/unit/house they will actually rent (not a model) and confirm that the property is as advertised.

·

Remind your student to have questions ready, such as: What are typical utility costs? Is subletting allowed and on what terms?

·

They should also check security features of the unit, the condition of appliances, storage space and parking availability.

3

4

When It’s Time to Move In

5

It’s Worth Taking the Time to Get It Right

Your student and their roommate(s) should document the condition of the rental during the walk-through that typically takes place prior to moving in. Don’t forget to purchase renters/content insurance to cover their belongings, and talk to them about being a good tenant and neighbor. Learn more — visit the “Housing” category on CollegiateParent.com.

Housing searches can be frustrating, and your student may find themselves feeling discouraged. While it can be tempting to settle for something easy, this is likely to be at least a year-long commitment.

It’s important to start early, but don’t try to do it all in one day or week!

If your student views some places that aren’t right, take time to recharge and reflect before jumping back into the search. And remember that, although it’s key to be flexible, it’s also important not to compromise on things your student needs to thrive in their future off-campus home.

Study the Lease

This may be the first legal document your student has encountered and it’s important for them to review it carefully. Parents and guardians should take a close look, too (even if you are not required to co-sign).

Be clear about the following: ·

What’s required up front in addition to a security deposit?

First and last months’ rent?

·

What are the conditions for getting the full security deposit back?

·

What dates does the lease cover?

·

What utilities are provided (heat, water, garbage collection, etc.)?

·

What are tenants’ responsibilities for upkeep (lawn mowing, landscape maintenance, snow removal, minor indoor repairs, etc.)?

Paying Rent with a 529 College Savings Account If you’re using 529 funds to pay for all or part of your student’s higher education expenses, good news. If they’re enrolled at least half-time in a degree-granting program, you can use 529 funds for off-campus housing expenses (though not necessarily the full amount). The college or university determines the allowable off-campus-room-and-board figure for federal financial aid purposes; contact the Financial Aid office to find out what it is.

CollegiateParent.com | 27

How Can an Internship Help Your Student?

by Ianni Le

Many students enter college unsure about what kind of career they want and the best path to get there. While classes and professors can definitely help you figure this out, I personally found my internships to be the main deciding factor. Students discover what they love through their classes, but there’s nothing like real world experience to clarify what you’re looking for in a job.

Internships look great on a resume of course, but they’re also beneficial for academic planning. Whether a student finds an internship within an industry related to their major, or one that gets them outside their comfort zone exploring a new passion, the experience can help them focus on a potential career trajectory — making it easier to tailor their major and take the right classes to reach their goals.

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My internships taught me about myself — and what I need to thrive in a work environment.

No two internships are alike because no two companies are alike. As an undergrad, I interned with two start-ups which differed both in their management style and their industry (one was a media company and at the other I worked on in-house branding for a hospitality firm).

Both internships involved a large amount of time running around and shooting photos or video that later needed to be quickly edited and published. I had previously thought this kind of pace was what I wanted — a job that kept me on my toes and demanded a lot from me.

While it was certainly exciting — there was something new every hour — I learned that my creativity works best given a little breathing room. Under constant tight time constraints, I would hit slumps causing my work to suffer. As fun as the internships were, I recognized that a long term commitment to this kind of career wasn’t what I was looking for.

My internships prepared me for the job search after graduation.

If your student is feeling discouraged during this time…

Learning my limits was invaluable, but I also took away real life skills and built new perspectives on my field of study and my personal creativity which helped me become a competitive candidate for full-time jobs after graduation.

Though the current job and internship landscape may seem bleak, encourage your student to keep looking for opportunities.

Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, an internship is very much a possibility and your student will still learn a lot even if it’s remote work.

Internships also allowed me to build up my network, making it easy for me to turn to different people for advice further down the line.

It was incredibly important for me to learn how to embody professionalism in my work. My internships helped me mature into someone who was prepared to enter the workforce, confident in my ability to stay professional in different situations and engage with colleagues and bosses.

The internships also taught me how to ask for help in a professional setting and that it was okay to lean on my team members when I needed to. I learned that there was no shame in admitting that you’re still learning and that you should always take the initiative to learn whatever you can in a job, especially when you’re surrounded by experienced professionals with so much to teach you.

Beyond all of that, internships are fantastic practice for future job interviews! After going through the interview process for different internships throughout college, I knew exactly how I wanted to prepare before interviewing for full-time positions after graduating and it really helped ease my nervousness.

Have them visit their campus career center for guidance (many universities have specific resources for internships, including companies that love to hire students from the school). Handshake is an excellent website that specializes in helping college students find internships.

Your student can also reach out to professors in their department to see if they know of any internships — or if the professor is looking for a research or teaching assistant. This is a great way to build a meaningful relationship with professors, and your student can learn so much from a professor’s mentorship.

Encourage your student to get on LinkedIn and interact with their connections. My LinkedIn has been flooded recently with heartfelt stories about professional success and failure — I find it uplifting to hear so many people talk about how they’re growing from their current challenges. It also seems that every time I log in to LinkedIn there are more resources popping up to help those struggling to find an internship or job.

Don’t forget to think about your own personal connections. Maybe you know someone looking for an intern right now or working in your student’s field of interest that you can connect them with. Your student will appreciate the introduction even if you’re just helping them build their network.

Find more career preparation tips to share with your student on CollegiateParent.com!

CollegiateParent.com | 29

WELLNESS & SAFETY MATTER MORE THAN EVER

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Options for Student Health Care, On and Off Campus

by CollegiateParent

In years past, most parents of new college students packed them off with Bandaids, pain relievers and maybe a thermometer, figuring they’d get a call when the first cold or stomach bug kicked in. Not in 2020! The COVID-19 pandemic has moved health care to the top of every parent’s list of concerns and conversations to have with their student.

As your student settles in on campus this fall, you can help them take the best possible care of their health and prepare for any situation that might arise.

First, it’s essential that your student stay informed of health and safety protocols on their campus, which may involve social distancing, wearing face coverings in public spaces, and other measures. Updates will be emailed and posted on the school website, so make sure you’re signed up for newsletters, too.

Second, make sure your student understands their health coverage and how their insurance works. You may have opted to keep them on your family health insurance plan or they may be covered by the school’s plan.

Here’s what else you need to know!

Where College Students Can Get Health Care The Campus Health Center In addition to treating illness (ear infections, strep, flu, etc.) and minor injuries, a typical campus health center may provide:

by private insurance (rather than the school plan) can go to the health center for some basic services, which will be low cost or even free — you can learn all about it on the website.

should be seen by a professional rather than continuing self-care on their own. If your student has had a cold and isn’t improving, or symptoms worsen, encourage them to go to the health center.

Because on-campus health facilities don’t typically operate 24/7 or in an emergency capacity, it’s important to know the other care options available to your student.

Students should take advantage of campus health services not only to maintain their own wellness, but to protect the entire student body. Colleges suggest students “stay home” (in their dorm or apartment) when sick and get well before returning to class. At the start of each term, your student should ask what to do if they miss class due to illness.

Local Urgent Care Centers and Emergency Rooms Research where the nearest urgent care centers are in relation to your student’s campus. These are a critical in-between for when your student needs immediate attention but isn’t experiencing a health emergency.

Say your student wakes up in the middle of the night with excruciating stomach pain.

The campus health center is closed, and waiting until morning doesn’t feel like a safe or comfortable option. This is an example of when your student should visit urgent care.

Reasons to visit an urgent care center include: ·

Difficulty breathing

·

Routine lab testing

Fractures or sprains

·

·

Prescriptions and over-the-counter medications

·

Fever

·

Gynecological services and contraception

·

Vomiting

·

Abdominal pain

·

Nutrition counseling

·

Cuts that may need stitches

·

Radiology and imaging

·

STI and HIV testing

·

Allergy shot administration

·

Routine and travel vaccinations (including flu shots)

·

Dental and eye health services or referrals

·

Mental health services (though counseling may have its own facility)

The campus health center will refer your student to a local hospital or specialist if more care is needed. It’s easy for your student to make an appointment online or by calling ahead. Even students still covered

In more extreme cases, there’s always the emergency room. Severe burns, broken bones, deep cuts, chest pain, head injuries, eye injuries, seizures and bleeding call for a visit to the ER. Make sure your student knows the location and name of the hospital nearest their campus. In life-threatening emergencies, calling 9-1-1 is the best option.

When Students Should Go to the Health Center The campus health services website may include an FAQ section where students can check whether their symptoms mean they

Any student who believes they’ve been exposed to COVID-19 or has a fever or other symptoms should contact the health center immediately for instructions about testing, treatment and self-isolation.

More Wellness Support for Your Student In addition to sponsoring one-time events focused on awareness of important healthrelated topics (suicide prevention, sexual consent, etc.), campus health and counseling centers schedule workshops and support groups throughout the year focused on: ·

Stress management

·

Relaxation and meditation techniques

·

Gender and sexual orientation/identity issues

·

Substance abuse

·

Nutrition and body image

Campus health centers are staffed with professionals who are well-equipped to handle student health issues, and the website is packed with information and tips.

When your student is sick or struggling, they should take advantage of campus health services. The health center and its website should be their first stop when experiencing any physical or mental health issue. Staff are there to help and, if necessary, refer your student to other competent local health professionals.

CollegiateParent.com | 31

Help Your Student Access Mental Health Support

by Cambria Pilger

Mental health is a growing conversation topic on college campuses all across the country. It’s important to know how to talk about mental health with your student and how to help them find resources.

The best thing you can do as a parent is to support and love your student, and encourage them to engage in wellness programs and opportunities on and off campus. Beyond your support, there are many student leaders, staff members and friends already looking out for your student!

Every university has at least one group or program focused on student wellbeing and mental health. At my school, the main mental health resources come from the counseling center, residence life and our Student Success Center. Each of these offer a variety of opportunities to learn and talk about one’s mental health.

The counseling center hosts lectures and workshops and offers all students 10 free counseling sessions per semester (services on your student’s campus may differ). It also recently implemented a “Let’s Talk” series, which allows students to have a 15-minute walk-in session with a counselor, any weekday at a given location on

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campus. These sessions are helpful because the counseling center often has a waitlist for scheduled appointments, and these brief sessions give students just enough time to process what’s going on in their world and get support from a trained professional.

This sort of brief, informal meeting could be a great way for you to support your student, too. Set up your own “Let’s Talk” call with your student. It can be a few times each week that you’ll be available and willing to talk, should your student need it.

Residence life does a lot to create open spaces to discuss and learn about mental health. When I was a Resident Assistant, my fellow RAs and I led many “Prime Times” (two-hour weeknight events in the dorm) about mental health. Once we focused on anxiety — what it is, what it feels like, how it manifests itself — and other times we looked at how different aspects of a student’s life (social/emotional/ academic/vocational/financial) impact their mental health. I also held

Active Minds With a presence on more than 800 campuses, Active Minds is the nation’s premier nonprofit organization supporting mental health awareness and education for students. Active Minds empowers students to create supportive communities, connect peers to resources, and take action for suicide prevention. Visit activeminds.org to see if they have a chapter on your student’s campus, and read “Supporting Mental Health — A Checklist for Families of College Students” in the Wellness section on CollegiateParent.com.

request and reaches out to the student to see if they need and/or want to be connected with a counselor or with a peer leader in their major who can help them get back on track with their classes.

a weekly appointment where my residents could hang out, check in and talk openly about the things going on in their life. Beyond the events, I genuinely cared about checking in on my residents’ lives and would reach out often to see how they were each doing.

Residence life leaders care a lot about students. If your student lives on campus, one of the easiest ways for them to get support is through the student leadership in their building. Remind your student to make connections with not only the RAs but also the other students in their hall. By building these relationships, they can have immediate access to support when they need it.

Finally, my school’s Student Success Center focuses on students’ financial and academic wellbeing. These areas influence mental health and vice versa. Professors, friends, student leaders and staff can submit Student Concern Forms to the SSC if they feel a student is struggling, no matter how small the issue. The SSC looks at every

I recommend that you look into what groups, departments or programs your student’s university has that focus on mental health.

Research them with your student, so that you’re both aware of the options. If your student knows what resources are available, they may be more likely to seek out support when they need it.

It’s always best not to pressure your student. Just because groups focused on mental health exist on campus doesn’t mean your student will want to participate. They may be in a positive environment and headspace right now, and just knowing that the group exists is enough.

Keep in mind that a lot of this may be out of your hands because it is personal and complex. Your student may not always feel comfortable discussing their emotional health with you. Ask your student what you can do for them, and they’ll tell you what they need. Genuinely listen when they open up about their wellbeing. If you are open and honest about your own mental health, your student might be willing to be, too.

CollegiateParent.com | 33

Health Talks to Have with Your Student

By MJ O’Leary and Lori Bender

The Importance of Healthy Sleep Habits Sleep is the foundation of wellness yet almost 40% of us struggle to get enough — and that percentage is surely higher on college campuses. Without sufficient sleep, your student will find it harder to learn, and to remember what they learned, and will lack the energy to make the most of their college experience.

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Here’s what you need to know to mentor your student in healthier sleep habits.

Why eight hours? What happens when we sleep?

Our bodies are super busy while we slumber.

During sleep we fix damaged tissue, toxins are processed and eliminated, hormones essential for growth and appetite control are released and restocked, and energy is restored. When sleep is cut short, the body doesn’t have time to complete all of this work.

The health risks of sleep deprivation include: ·

Impaired cognitive function: Even one night of sleeping less than six hours can impact your ability to think clearly the next day.

·

Increased risk of accidents: Sleep deprivation slows reaction time; you are three times more likely to be in a car crash if you’re tired.

·

Increased emotional intensity: The part of the brain responsible for emotional reactions can be up to 60% more reactive when you’ve slept poorly.

Tips for Deep Sleep 1. Sleep in a dark room (or use a sleep mask). Reduce exposure to bright lights and screens before bedtime.

2

Determine your ideal study spot and times. ·

Pick the place you feel the most productive, calm (not cozy) and focused. Keep going to this spot for a few weeks to train your body and brain for study mode. (Do not study in your bed. Stay alert.)

·

Notice what time of day/night you study best. Use this time slot to prepare for your most challenging classes.

·

Be aware of what distracts you. Pay attention to time wasters: cell phone, friends, Netflix.

·

When your thoughts get stuck, or move away from the material at hand, bring yourself back into the “zone” by getting up to move and stretch.

·

Acknowledge perfectionist thinking and eliminate it.

·

Remember that last-minute cramming induces panic.

“All nighters” are counterproductive to recall and focus.

2. Stop eating at least two hours before bedtime, so the body isn’t spending the first few hours of sleep digesting a heavy meal.

3. Exercise. A Stanford study found that moderate-intensity exercise helps people fall asleep 15 minutes faster and sleep about 45 minutes longer.

4. Eat good food. Processed food will make your body work extra hard during the night to remove the toxins, leaving less time for healing and repair.

Quality sleep starts the moment we wake up. The choices we make about what to eat, how much to exercise, and how to handle stress all impact our ability to get a great night’s sleep. On the subject of stress...

Getting Ahead of Stress Parents understand that the college experience isn’t only about earning a degree but also about learning how to manage life. This includes learning to manage stress and regulate emotions.

What IS stress exactly, and what does it do to our brains and bodies?

When the mind perceives normal adjustments to college as threats, the human stress response is activated. This response is an amazing mechanism for safety and survival. The confusing part is our brains can’t decipher levels of threats. Feeling overwhelmed with college registers in the brain the same as jumping out of the way of an oncoming car.

Some amounts of college stress are necessary to study productively, maintain motivation and accomplish tasks, but the negative effects of stress (anxiety, exhaustion and hopelessness) can disrupt daily living and thriving.

Students can learn to manage the pressures of college so the demands don’t seem as unbearable and the stress response is deactivated. In addition to good sleep habits (explored above), here are six tried-and-true strategies.

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Hydrate and nourish.

Reduce or eliminate sugar drinks, caffeine and alcohol — Gatorade, energy drinks, teas (the kind with added sugar) and sodas included.

Foods rich in vitamins B and C, iron and magnesium (oranges, broccoli, avocados, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, berries, grass-fed beef, salmon and sunflower seeds) are helpful in reducing the effects of stress and strengthening the nervous system.

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Breathe.

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Attend to self-care.

Practice “4-7-8” deep breathing daily (watch the YouTube video), and try “square breathing,” too. Use breathing apps. It only takes ten minutes to engage your diaphragm and activate the calm part of your nervous system.

Make a study schedule.

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Notice how often and how much you move your body.

A short walk, jumping jacks or push-ups will suffice if you can’t fit in a work-out.

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Engage in a fun activity — frisbee, basketball, a dance or fitness class.

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Take an extra shower a day during exam weeks. Brush your teeth an extra time a day. Get a haircut. Pamper yourself!

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Take advantage of campus social and counseling resources.

Write it out, draw it, color it, mind map it, keep it visible. Include: ·

Study breaks, sleep, recreation

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1.5–2 hours of study per class, then break

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Switch classes for the next 2–hour study session

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Use “backwards planning” if this works for you (sethperler.com/backwards-planning-101)

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Fill your brain with positive mantras:

“I’m thankful every day for the opportunity to go to college. In four years, I’ll have grown exponentially and will contribute to society in ways I never imagined.” “I’m right where I need to be! With this comes tough times. I am tough enough — I will be just fine.”

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Safety on Campus

By Suzanne Shaffer and CollegiateParent

When it comes to personal safety, today’s college students live in a world that requires vigilance and awareness.

Colleges and universities work to foster safe environments, but students share responsibility.

As your student acclimates to their new campus and life, check in about what they do on a daily basis to keep themselves safe.

You can help by supplying good advice and the best safety tools available.

A Basic Safety Checklist Many of these recommendations were shared at orientation and move-in, but it’s good to revisit the list periodically — it may take your student a while to check off every box!

Always lock your dorm room and secure your valuables.

Don’t let anyone who doesn’t have a student ID into the residence hall. Even if they ask nicely. Verify their identity.

Use the buddy system when taking public transportation, Uber and Lyft, too.

Use campus security escorts and safe rides.

Sign up for campus emergency alerts. (Parents may be able to sign up for these as well.) Program emergency numbers into your cellphone for easy access.

Take advantage of safety training. Many campuses offer self-defense classes, or you can sign up for one at a local Y or recreation center.

Use the buddy system. It can be tempting to go for a run alone, or make a quick trip to the library by yourself after dark, but it’s not worth the risk. Never be alone at night or in remote areas.

Stick with your friends at parties and don’t let a friend leave a party alone or with someone they don’t know.

Register any valuables with serial numbers (electronics, bikes, etc.) with the campus police department. This makes them easier to track if they’re stolen.

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Pandemic Preparedness Students should closely follow all their school’s guidelines intended to reduce the chance of a COVID-19 outbreak in the campus community. This will include social distancing rules in buildings and outdoors as well as mask requirements.

You can help by making sure your student has a supply of both disposable and reusable/washable masks along with hand sanitizer to keep in their dorm room and backpack. And reiterate that frequent hand washing is one of the best prevention strategies.

Tools for Staying Safe Safety apps Your student’s smartphone can be a great self-defense tool. Safety apps give them instant access to authorities, parents and fellow students when they feel they’re in an unsafe situation. Encourage your student to ask their friends for safety app recommendations, and give free apps a test drive. A few to consider are Watch Over Me, Circle of 6, Shake 2 Alert and Panik.

Review Emergency Procedures with Your Student!

Remind your student to program 9-1-1 and also the campus police emergency number into their phone.

Ask your student about emergency drills (lockdown, etc.) that have taken place. What were they instructed to do in different kinds of situations? Going over the information again with you should help fix it in your student’s mind.

Be sure you have the names and phone numbers of a few of your student’s roommates or close friends as well as their parents, and that they have yours.

Self-defense carry items

Students should understand the natural hazards on and near their campus (for example, if the campus is in a flood plain) and pay attention to severe weather warnings so they can be in a safe place if/when a storm hits.

These items pair well with a self-defense class because, when faced with danger, your student needs to be prepared to use them quickly and with confidence.

They should know multiple ways out (including fire exits) of the buildings they frequent on campus.

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A whistle or personal safety alarm is the simplest option.

Alarms, which are small and can be attached to keys for easy access, emit up to 130 decibels to scare off an attacker plus capture the attention of bystanders.

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Pepper spray (which causes severe irritation of the eyes, skin and respiratory system) is popular because it’s quick, easy to use and effective. However, pepper spray is illegal in some states. Check the law where your student attends school.

Safe Partying/Drinking Practices Students who drink excessively are at higher risk of being involved in car accidents, hazing and sexual assault. Keep talking to your student throughout college about alcohol and substance use. Ask questions and listen to what they have to say about social situations they’ve been in or witnessed. Talk through possible scenarios so they can anticipate how they might act, react and help their friends. Make sure they know how to drink responsibly and how to get home safely when they are out late.

Discuss the dangers of drink tampering and binge drinking and help them come up with ways to stay safe. SWIGSAFE™ can be a helpful product for this, as the tumblers are built with campus life and safety in mind: a 16-ounce capacity that works for water, a protein shake or a party drink; latched lid to aid in safeguarding against drink tampering; measurement icons symbolizing standard drink amounts; and a transportable, easy-to-grip design with wrist strap.

When talking to your student about alcohol use and safe partying practices, try to be understanding and careful in your judgments as this will encourage your student to be open with you and invite more conversations down the road.

Don’t be afraid to talk about personal safety!

Knowing and practicing safety precautions will lead to your student feeling empowered, not scared. Informed students are ready to steer clear of dangerous situations and prepared students are more likely to emerge unscathed from an attempted crime. Help your student be both.

They should know their residential housing staff/ landlord and be able to get in touch with them quickly.

In a weather-related emergency, your student could be stranded in a resident hall or apartment for a few days, potentially without power. Encourage your student to make an emergency kit that includes a three-day supply of non-perishable food (dried fruit, nuts, bars, tuna packets, crackers, etc.) and water, a flashlight and extra batteries, a battery-powered or hand-cranked radio, first aid supplies, any medications they take, rain gear and warm clothes.

Your student’s smartphone can be a great self-defense tool. Safety apps give them instant access to authorities, parents and fellow students when they feel they’re in an unsafe situation.

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Meet Our

Writers

AMY BALDWIN, Ed.D is the Director of Student Transitions at the University of Central Arkansas and co-author of The College Experience and A High School Parent’s Guide to College Success: 12 Essentials. Amy and her husband are parents of two college students.

LORI BENDER is the mother of two

20-somethings as well as a professional life coach for students who struggle with college transition and stress. Lori has an MSW and is certified in trauma, mental health first aid and in mindfulness techniques. Learn more about her business, Students Stress Less Coaching LLC, at www.studentsstressless.com.

SHARI BENDER earned her BA from Stanford University and currently works as Communication and Marketing Director for a large electrical firm on Long Island. Shari is a cat-loving spiritual vegan who is embracing her empty-nesting along with her husband of 27 years. Her musings delight parents on multiple online platforms, including Grown & Flown and CollegiateParent.

CollegiateParent has published this regional edition of College Parent Magazine for parents of students in Norman.

This publication was made possible by the businesses and professionals contained within it. The publisher does not endorse the products or services offered by the advertisers. ©2020 CollegiateParent. All rights reserved.

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MARYBETH BOCK, MPH lives in Arizona and is Mom to two college students.

She has logged time as an Army wife, childbirth educator, college instructor and freelance writer. You can find her work on multiple parenting sites.

KATE GALLOP is a sophomore at Washington University in St. Louis majoring in English. In addition to writing, Kate enjoys playing intramural soccer and club basketball and is involved in Greek life.

IANNI LE is a writer and content

creator for CollegiateParent. She grew up in Shanghai, China and attended the University of Colorado at Boulder, graduating in December 2019 with a degree in Media Design and English Literature.

MJ O’LEARY is founder and executive

director of wellnessmultiplied. A certified Integrative Health and Wellness coach and mother of four, MJ has a BA in psychology from Gettysburg College, a certification in finance from the University of Chicago, and is a 2017 graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.

CAMBRIA PILGER is a senior at

Whitworth University studying journalism and mass media communication, with minors in Spanish and business. A residence life intern at school, she is passionate about exploring, developing new skills, making art, playing video games and getting to know people.

DEBORAH PORTER is the

ultimate list maker, system creator and investigator — skills developed along the way as she and her husband of 30 years raised three children. The founder of Moms Mentoring Circle, Deborah is a regular contributor on WTVR’s Virginia in the Morning and an occasional guest on WJLA’s The Mother Side.

SUZANNE SHAFFER counsels

students and families through her blog, Parenting for College. Her advice has been highlighted on Huffington Post, Yahoo Finance and U.S. News College and she has written for TeenLife, Smart College Visit, College Focus Noodle Education and Road2College.

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