With illustrations by Scoular Anderson
This is for my friends in Athens: Beth and Paris, Lydia, Phoebe and of course, Iris (who is not an ostrich)
First published in 2004 in Great Britain by Barrington Stoke Ltd
18 Walker Street, Edinburgh, EH3 7LP www.barringtonstoke.co.uk
This edition first published 2010
Reprinted 2014
4u2read edition based on Mad Iris, published by Barrington Stoke in 2002
Text © 2004 Jeremy Strong
Illustrations © Scoular Anderson
The moral right of Jeremy Strong and Scoular Anderson to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in any part in any form without the written permission of the publisher
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library upon request
ISBN: 978-1-84299-879-3
Printed in China by Leo
Chapter 1 Who is KJ?
The note in Ross’s bag was short.
Do you want to go out with me? If you do, meet me after lunch by the conker tree. K.J.
Kelly Jessup loves me.
Ross went red. He folded the note and hid it in his bag. He didn’t dare look up. He was thinking fast. KJ? That was the new girl – Kelly Jessup.
Kelly Jessup! Did Ross want to go out with her ? Yes! Yes! Kelly made his legs turn to jelly and his heart thump. Kelly made …
“Ross? Ross? Did you hear me?” said his teacher, Mrs Norton. “What do you call a triangle with three equal sides?”
“Kelly,” Ross told her.
“Don’t be so stupid. You can’t call a triangle Kelly ,” snapped Mrs Norton.
Most of the class found this very funny. But not Katie. She waved her arm in the air.
“I think it’s a great idea,” she said. “We could give every shape a name like that.”
“Stop being silly,” said Mrs Norton. The rest
of the class looked at Katie as
if she were quite mad.
“Roger,”
Katie
went on. “Roger Rectangle. That would be a good name.”
Mrs Norton groaned. “A triangle with three equal sides is called …” But just then the bell went for lunch.
I can’t be late for Kelly.
They all pushed their books into their desks or bags and rushed off.
Ross couldn’t wait for after lunch. Kelly Jessup was going to meet him by the conker tree!
Ross gulped down his food fast. He was longing to get away but the dinner ladies made him stay until everyone had finished. Gloria took forever to finish her rice pudding. At last he could go.
Ross dashed out to the playground but stopped some way from the conker tree. “Play it cool,” he said to himself. “Just walk slowly.”
Now he could see the conker tree. Yes, Kelly was there! She was grinning at something Ian Tufnell was telling her.
What’s he doing here?
Ross gave a snort. Ian was an ass. OK, he was tall and good-looking and fantastic at judo. But he was a no-brain. Everyone knew that. Ross went across and smiled at Kelly. She frowned back at him. Ross opened his eyes wide at her and nodded.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“Yes! No! I mean yes!” grinned Ross. “The note. Yes is the answer to your note.” Ross flashed his best smile at her.
Then Ian was standing over Ross. What big hands he had! “Why don’t you go and get lost?” he said.
But Ross didn’t care about Ian. He was there for Kelly. He tried to look at her but Ian was in the way.
I always knew Ross was weird.
“I do want to go out with you!” he yelled.
Ian looked very angry. “Do you mean you want to go out with me ?” he said.
Ross was getting nowhere. Why was Ian so stupid? “Not you – her! Kelly.”
And that was when all Ross’s dreams fell apart.
Kelly looked at him in horror. “Go out with you? You must be joking. I wouldn’t go out with you if we were the last two people left in the world.”
Ian gave Ross a hard push. “Get lost, little boy. She’s going out with me.”
Ross felt awful. He turned away. Kelly and Ian were laughing at him.
He felt a hand on his arm and looked up. It was Katie. She gave him a little smile.
“It’s not that bad,” she told him.
“It is,” said Ross.
“The note wasn’t from Kelly,” she went on. “It was from me. I’m KJ too. Katie Jacobs.”
“You!”
Katie gave him a hopeful smile. “I put it in your bag this morning. What do you think?” Ross was very angry. He couldn’t have got Kelly Jessup mixed up with Katie Jacobs!
Katie, the girl with all those freckles AND she was weird.
Please say yes.
Ross was about to tell her that he wouldn’t go out with her if they were the last two people left in the world.
But he didn’t. He was so shocked he couldn’t say a word.
An ostrich had just come crashing through the school hedge.
An OSTRICH ?????!
Now the huge bird was striding across the playground. It was coming towards Katie and Ross, and it was looking at them in a nasty way.