When Thrown Against a White Background Tyler Burston
This my fifth year out.
At first, everyone acts like going to a PWI is a blessing.
were, and alternatively, who the “financial aid” kids
Everyone talks about how good of an opportunity it
were. The black and brown kids at my school were
is, how you’ll be able to do things other black people
obviously the “diversity hires”. We were the students
aren’t allowed to do, and “network” with all these
from more “dangerous” neighborhoods than our
imagined rich and successful (and white) people. As a
peers, the ones who wouldn’t be there without the
rising 9th grader I bought into the hype, excited to go to
endowment money.
Downtown Manhattan everyday and be in a place with more resources than I ever imagine. More than I could
My transition into my first PWI was disorienting, mainly
ever use.
because it was up to me to figure out exactly what was going on, and then quickly learn how to adjust to
Going to a PWI is a blessing. My white, flagrantly rich
it. I learned that there’s a specific culture surrounding
private high school made me into who I am, gave me
rich NYC private school kids, one that’s as toxic as it
privileges I enjoyed and didn’t deserve. I got my “good”
is opulent. When you fall deep enough into culture,
education, my college preparation, my leg up in the
it’s easy to put a suffocating amount of value on the
game. All of that is expected though, and no one tells
multimillion dollar apartments, expensive clothes,
you about the more destructive aspects. The isolation
expensive drugs, and fake social capital.
that becomes immediately apparent once you learn to make a white space home. My school was incredibly
I knew from the jump that I couldn’t assimilate. I had
small, meaning that the social and economic divisions
entered the game too late and knew too much about
in the school were very apparent. It was easy to see
myself and the world to buy into the materialism
who the kids of investment bankers and affluent artists
and elitism around me. I paid too much attention to
