Don’t Call It Retirement - It’s the Next Wave

SE E E P E

I decided to close the Law Offices of Rosemary Ebner Pomeroy on June 1, 2018. It’s the start of 2020, and I still have a few matters left to complete. I’ve even taken on a few interesting adoption cases in the last few months, as a courtesy to former clients and some dear colleagues, as well as to feel like I still have skin in the game.

So, folks, what is retirement like for someone like me? I hope to give you an answer to this question, with a few amusing anecdotes, and a few words about navigating the peaks and valleys of this next life chapter. A few months ago, I was running errands in the Worthington area. I heard a familiar voice shout out, “How’s retirement?” I was just about to give a short but informed answer, but the friend didn’t wait for it. I guess it was more of a greeting to her. I tried to yell out, “Don’t do it!” but this friend had simply turned the corner on her own journey of errands.

I guess for starters, I simply cringe when I hear the word retirement. How about any other label, such as “the next wave,” “the sequel,” “a different path,” or even a “new journey.” Retirement sounds like a literary term in a novel, basically for going to sleep. It’s an awful term, and really diminishes your self-worth.

As an extroverted attorney, about six months into this new path I started to realize that I needed to make some things happen. I add that “making things happen” is in fact a work in progress, so I am still trying to figure out what my next steps are.

When I think about the last year or so, the word disorienting comes to mind. When I was working my practice, I had a purpose, a place to go to, friends and colleagues to meet and a meaningful stack of practice-related reading materials. I had that incredible time where a lawyer troubleshoots a problem to a reliable and practical solution. I heard the phone ring, and a new challenge materialized with an old or new client. I was energized by trips to the courthouse, to attend a hearing or close an estate administration, with the added bonus of running into old friends and colleagues, and younger lawyers I have mentored and advised. I was also filled with pride knowing that when I got off the courthouse elevator, our own Sarah Pomeroy was forging her own career path only a few floors away at the Columbus City Attorney’s Office.

I have gone to the Columbus Bar Association less frequently for practice committee meetings and events. I still attend seminars, because I simply love to learn, but I also face the realization that as my practice decreases, I don’t need to keep up with the law with the same sense of urgency. As an extroverted attorney, about six months into this new path I started to realize that I needed to make some things happen. I add that “making things happen” is in fact a work in progress, so I am still trying to figure out what my next steps are.

Piano and bought a beautiful, shiny, black six-foot grand piano. The instrument has changed my life. I’ve always taken piano lessons, and I credit Dr. Suzanne Newcomb with improving my playing and pushing me to try new musical challenges.

First and foremost, I am pursuing two of my favorite hobbies. I am basically just a piano-playing fool. When I had a mid-life crisis in my 40’s, I decided not to run off with a handsome dude running an internet startup. Instead, I went to Graves Consequently, to cure my performance anxiety, I play in the Heather Pick Music Program at the James Cancer Hospital. It is just once a month, but it makes a difference for me, and I hope it makes it easier for cancer patients

or their families, those who are facing treatment or caring for their loved ones. I have a song set of about 25 pieces that cover classical, jazz and Broadway show tunes. What I have learned from playing at the James is that there are a lot of docs out there who can’t sing. But you know what? They will give it a whirl anyway. I guess I think of my playing as changing hearts and minds one note at a time. I add that there are a lot of lounge lizard singers in this town, as evidenced by folks who want to sit on my bench and sing while I play.

With my great admiration for the needle arts, I also have put myself in a needlepoint group. I knew there was artistry in needlepoint, but I never realized the real impact of this activity until joining this group. The women and men who stitch at Louise’s Needlework in Powell create pillows, pictures, stand up statues and even create designs that are painted onto canvasses. Every day there is another beautiful piece of needlepoint, ready to be a present for a husband, a wife, a child or a friend. As my mom used to say, “Don’t whine, create!” Words of wisdom. I also add that Betsy Ross must have been some kind of woman stitching the flag. Wowza.

I’ve also experienced the valleys of closing my practice. I’ve actually gone through a grieving process. Yep, there were days where I sat at home and cried… and others where I alphabetized my spice racks, purged Pomeroy memorabilia and even started Christmas shopping in the summer.

The grief in part stems from loving my practice areas so much. “Everything that happens in probate court” used to be my mantra: adoption, estate administration, estate planning and guardianship. The best court and the best practitioners anyone could ask for, anytime. I know there are a lot of CBA folks who think my mantra is “Stay out of probate!” But, honestly, it’s the best place ever to be an attorney who gets things done.

I’ve sent out a lot of online job resumes, looking for that perfect flexible schedule position. What I have learned is that, sometimes, online job applications simply fall into the online abyss. The best way to look for that position that fits is to call and email colleagues. You have to keep reaching out, with the realization that things simply take time. Patience is a virtue, and one simply has to keep that idea in their back pocket and repeat it often.

So, going forward, what advice do I have? Here are ten tips.

1. Take some time after you stop practicing to rest and do some things that are fun. That might be taking a long-awaited trip, reading the book or books you always wanted to read and even making that list of ideas about how you would like the future to look.

2.

Don’t sacrifice fitness during this time of transition; walk, go to the rec center, cycle, do tai chi or attend a yoga class - whatever makes you energized.

Consider a life or retirement coach, particularly if you spent many years telling clients to trust the professionals. Now, it might be time for you to do the same.

Think about the top three things that you really enjoy and go out and do them. Maybe you would like to play an instrument, sing in a choir, take up woodworking, learn to play golf or become a tour guide; simply pick something and give it a chance.

If you had a pet and miss them, perhaps it’s time to find another. Remember, your sweet dog or cat won’t sue you for malpractice.

Chat with friends who are changing up their lives. What are they doing for the next wave? Meet these folks for coffee or lunch and consider all the possibilities. 8. Educate yourself by attending a class, teaching something in your wheelhouse to a willing audience or even learning online.

9. Get your calendar out and plan those visits with adult children, grandchildren, siblings and friends. These are the people that care about you the most.

10. Accept the peaks and the valleys. In a valley you may even decide, “Hey, I still want to practice,” and that is okay. Sometimes the greatest ideas or plans of action come from that time of self-assessment and review. Just being patient may result in a real opportunity.

I chaired the E.A.G.L.E Committee of the Columbus Bar Association for several years: Extraordinary Attorneys Got Legal Expertise. But let’s get real, folks; Extraordinary Attorneys have way more than legal expertise, so take the time to regroup and figure out what your next extraordinary is going to be. I’m still working on it, and I’m hopeful. Good luck!!!

Rosemary Ebner Pomeroy, Esq.

ebnerpom@gmail.com