It's Really All About The Motorcycles

Thirteen years ago, two west coast chopper fanatics produced a small motorcycle show in a parking lot in Orange County. It was primarily attended by local chopper enthusiasts, friends, and family.

At the heart of the show was custom fabrication and a deep commitment to builders of badass choppers.

Word spread quickly to the hardcore brethren.

That small show has grown to one of the most comprehensive motorcycle shows anywhere. Silverado

California is the perfect home for The Born

Free Motorcycle

Show. The venue is a small oasis nestled in the low desert foothills of

Orange County.

The canyon roads are exactly the kind of roads that air cooled V twins eat up, with loads of turns connected with long straightaways. As you climb from the O.C. freeways to the canyons, you can almost feel the pretense of Southern California melting away. Scissor door McLaren’s on the beach may be what some folks dream of, but for some of us, nothing compares to a passion-built motorcycle.

The Born Free Show is all about motorcycles first. There are no bigname bands. The musical flavor leans towards local, retro-punk sounds. There are no bar babes sucking whip cream off fat dude’s bellies. There is no Wi-Fi (you will be OK, seek comfort in talking to each other). You won’t find a bedazzled bandana or pair of chaps in sight. It’s typically hot as Fu@k. There really isn’t even a bar. It’s mostly draft beer on tap and good Cali green for this crowd. It’s not your typical “Rally Crowd.” The Born Free crowd is younger, hipper, and more West Coast, but there is a common denominator, a passion for custom motorcycles and the people who build and ride them. The motorcycle is the foundation at Born Free. Ridiculously cool, hand-built motorcycles…and lots of them. Like a paroled pedophile at Disneyland, I wandered, wildeyed and wanting, amongst the multitudes of handbuilt motorcycles at Born Free 12. It wasn’t just classic choppers, Born Free 12 was deep. There was so

much variety to take in.

The main feature is the invited builder show, featuring 30 invited builders handpicked for their passion for building one-off motorcycles. Christian Newman and Hawke Lawshe shared the “Best In Show” honors. Hawke built a 1966 Shovelhead turbo drag bike that looked like it was straight out of a James Bond flick. Newman’s bike had a level of execution and engineering that was simply beyond comprehension, a dual carb, dual turbo, 8 valve OHV/ULH, complete with exposed rockers and enough polish to sunburn your brain. The detail on this bike was just insane.

The Builders Choice Awards were: 1st Place- (Also winner of The Mooneyes award)- Jake Wreesman’s ‘48 Pan, a super clean, skinny tire bike with one of the sexiest chassis I’ve ever seen. 2nd Place went to John Edwards classic yellow 1941 Knucklehead, and Third Place went to Hawke’s 1966 Shovel Gold Drag bike (the same that shared the Best in Show Award).

The people’s choice section is a cool collaboration between Born Free and Biltwell that gives any builder regardless of origin or Instagram followers, an avenue to be on the big stage. Cliff Cavin’s one handed-handle bar, sissy bar headlight, knobbed up chopper was this year’s Peoples Choice Invitee. I concur, that thing was rad.

For pure originality, you have to give it to Slim Fabs, Insane 1972 Kawi, H2 triple trike that sounded like a screaming banshee when fired. As well as Don Millers’ “Pie Wagon” another Kawi Triple Trike with an 86 ZX750E mill and a super cool girder, radiused front end. My personal pick from the invited builder feature was The Styling and Design award winner- Chris Moorhouse’s low sheen, 1940 Knucklehead Bobber, with the fishtail exhaust and the mother of pearl inlay tank. Such a clean bike!

The traditional Choppers and Invited Builders shows held the infield, but the performance bikes solidly flanked the show’s perimeter and were hard to ignore. San Diego Customs had a strong Performance Bike Show with racing baggers sprinkled throughout. V-Twin Visionary was in the house along with a vast offering of performance parts vendors. For me, there is something so dope about a 550 lb, 200 hp, full dresser designed to knee drag. So much better than gigantic, wheeled spaceships with loud stereos playing music that no one wants to hear.

And then there is the Born Free crowd which was really something of a show itself. Californians are fiercely

independent folks and always have been. While we have some draconian laws and politicians, most of us ignore them and live lives of independence. The Golden State has had such a historical influence on Hot Rod, Drag Race, Surf, Skate, Music, Flat Track, and Cannabis Cultures. Custom and Performance motorcycles are no exception.

Born Free 12 and Harley-Davidson graciously gave away several motorcycles over the weekend. Sunday on the main stage, $25.00 gave you a shot at either a gorgeous 1939 EL Knucklehead or a 2020 M8 Lowrider S. The crowd breathed a collective sigh of approval when the first drawn chose the 39 EL. All winners were obviously stoked. Thank you, Mike Davis and Grant Peterson, and all the people who have put their hearts and souls into Born Free.

Many of us are indeed Born Free but staying free relies on the men and women who put it all on the line defending that freedom. All active-duty and retired military are free guests at Born Free shows.

Born Free 13 is tentatively scheduled for June 25th and 26th, 2022. If you love custom bikes and the people who make, ride and love them- check it out. Stay Free!

Article By: Xavier Muriel

easons Greetings ya’ll. The holidays are upon us again. Man I swear it seems the older I get the faster time s flies. We made it through another year chocked full of awesome rallies giving us the chance to see old friends from all over the globe. I’m always amazed at how many motorcycle lovers come from so far away to attend the likes of Daytona

Bike Week or Sturgis and can’t seem to get enough of it. Makes me reevaluate my perception of how blessed I am to be doing this as a career.

The fact that I get to see my moto family so many times during a season is an absolute joy. You look at things differently when it’s taken away from you, like in 2020 with the pandemic.

Let’s talk about the last two hoorahs at the end of the 2021 season. The first is the Lone Star Rally held in good ol Galveston, Texas, just a hop, skip and jump from my home in Austin. Now, Galveston by itself is a sleepy lil gulf coast town most

of the year, but every November, it is home to one of the biggest rallies in the Nation. Bringing in well over 200,000 motorcycle enthusiasts. This year was no exception. I feel like the turnout was so impressive because people wanted to get out and live their lives and do some riding. Many of the people I spoke to hit this rally specifically because of its location and weather. Regardless, whatever the reason, it was a great time. We had the High Seas Rally tent and crew there, along with the giveaway bike. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many vendors at that rally before. The Sea Wall was buzzing all day with everything from exhaust to tattoos and everything in between. The Strand (the main drag) downtown hosted the sound-off competitions, hot rod shows, and an array of bikes and other various machines. It just goes to show you there’s a little something for everyone.

The Black Smoke Sinners got to play before Hairball on Saturday night, and the crowd was off the chain! Of course, they were a little skeptical at first, but by the third

song, they were right up-front, hands in the air and having a rock-n-roll good time. We played a two-hour set, and the crowd hung in the whole time. To Lone Star Rally, I say thank you for a very warm reception. I even had some old friends from Austin stop in to surprise us. The band is looking into playing a bunch of dates in 2022, so keep an eye out to see which rally we’ll be at near you! Hairball, as always, came out and crushed it. If you’ve never seen them in action, make it a point. They have a show and production that rivals the biggest touring acts out there. Hopefully, we’ll get paired with them again next year.

The Cycle Source Ride-In Show and bike games were a hit as usual. No one can deny a good weenie bite contest and barrel race. Dave and Jody Perewitz hosted the Perewitz Paint Show in conjunction with the Cycle Source Show. Our sister magazine Torque made its debut in Texas with a Performance Bike Show in the park on The Strand with a Bitchin display of Performance bikes. Congrats to Jason Hallman for the beginning of what looks like an exciting journey. Expect to see big things in 2022 from Torque Magazine.

Now, onto the last blowout of 2021. I’m talking about the 3rd Annual Wheels of Steel show held in Lakeland, FL, hosted by a great team, including the Hallman’s, the Callen’s, and many others behind the scene. CFWOS was held at the RP Funding Center Llanes, Cory Souza, Flat Broke Chops & Rods, FNA, Warren Lane, Freddie Bollwage, Joker Cycle Works, Providence Cycle Worx and many others. There were raffles all weekend, minibike racing, and an open bike show. I’d like to extend a hearty congratulations to Rick Bray of RKB Kustoms for taking home the prestigious Rick Hallman Legacy Award passed down from Fish of Alleyway Kustoms, last year’s winner. So, now Mr. Bray must construct a trophy to be given away at next year’s show. The hangs and convos that happen at an event like this are awesome. You get to see some of the finest folks that grace this industry. For me, it’s all about the dinners and hang time with REAL friends from across the country. Jason threw a pre-party Friday night at his shop, and what a great turnout it was! Thank you, Cycle Stop USA, for hosting such a wonderful time. The best part of the weekend was completely unplanned, a ride with Rick Bray, Chris Callen, and Jason Hallman that we took not one, not two, but three OG West Coast Choppers that haven’t been ridden in over 8 years! Battery’s were changed, oil was checked, gas was filled, and off we went! Man, was I smiling from ear to ear, getting to ride a CFL, Diablo rigid, and Diablo Softy. We traded off bikes as we rode so all could say they rode one. We took a 3-hour ride, complete with a lunch stop. It was the most perfect way to end an already killer weekend. I spent most of the drive back to Texas reflecting on that ride and what it meant to me. You see, it is not about what bikes were ridden on that sunny Florida day, but who I was riding with, men who are a huge inspiration to me in so many ways. Each has a special gift that places them above so many in this industry. I’m incredibly fortunate to call them brothers, today and always. Till next time, take care of yourself and others.God Bless. X.

Hey, Is life nuts or what? The one element, the bottom line, is to understand and learn about critical thinking. If you wonder about anything from Fossil Fuel use, to C02 don’t hesitate to read and inform yourself and others. The info is out there. One of the best books I’ve recently read Alex Epstein’s “Moral Case for Fossil Fuels.” It will blow your mind.

Here’s a quote at the end of Chapter 5, “I wrote earlier that we owe the fossil fuel industry an apology for the way we’ve treated it on climate and that we owe them a long overdue thank you. I mean it.”

Keep learning. Let’s hit the news:

New Model From Norton-- First pictures of re-engineered V4SV superbike. Norton Motorcycles has revealed the first official pictures of the re-engineered V4SV – the most luxurious British superbike ever created.

True to its Isle of Man TT heritage, the re-engineered Norton V4SV has benefited from significant investment and testing during the last 12 months to deliver a quality luxury product befitting of the Norton name.

The V4SV is currently in the last engineering improvement phase. Each component has been repackaged and revised, none more-so than the inhouse developed engine. The new Norton 1200cc V4 sits elegantly in its handcrafted aluminum tubed frame to deliver a blistering 185bhp.

With fully adjustable Ohlins front forks

and a bespoke Norton Ohlins TTXGP adjustable rear shock, the V4SV is every bit the TT-inspired performance machine. The V4SV motorcycle is the first model to be shown since the brand was bought out of administration by TVS Motors. - Norton Motorcycles Antique bike collectors and businesses will breathe a sigh of relief with the news coming out of Pittsburgh, Pa. Enthusiast Tom Banks has reached a deal with Lonnie Isam Sr. to keep the well-known brand Competition Distributing alive and servicing the antique community. Isam’s 52-year brand has become integral in the role of providing parts to antique motorcycle enthusiasts who would look to restore and maintain any motorcycle from 1910 to 1936. As the rumors started to circulate just a few months back that Sr would be shutting CDI down, a panic raced across the vintage community. Mr. Banks, a ferocious competitor in both the motorcycle Cannonball and Cross Country Chase events, is a long-time collector of antique motorcycles and felt compelled to do something to keep this iconic brand, a lifeline for old bikes, alive. While the company will be relocated to Western Pennsylvania, their plan is to keep the original website with some minor tweaks and have it back up and running under the same umbrella in approximately two weeks. As far as operations, Tom will be bringing in Sean Jackson to oversee all aspects while expanding on what Lonnie did with CDI over the years. Their goal will be to serve all the major races like the Cannonball, The Chase, TROG, and the Sons Of Speed, providing the same quality parts that Competition Distributing has become known for. Look for a clothing line to come along for both this brand and Banks Brothers, who you may already know for their Award Winning Motorcycle Engine Lift, shortly. Tucker Powersports Acquisition Of Kuryakyn Holdings - Tucker Powersports acquired Kuryakyn Holdings on September 7, 2021 and began transitioning the company into the Tucker brand structure. The following is an update on the status of the transition.

Product Availability: Kuryakyn had strong inventories of their top products at the time of acquisition, so there has been minimal impact on

dealers seeking Kuryakyn’s top selling products. Product purchasing functions have been moved to Tucker and the team continues to manage ordering and inventory, with all Kury inventory now in Tucker’s warehouses. Global supply chain issues are likely to continue to impact Tucker, along with most others in the powersports industry, for the months ahead.

Sales and Operations: All sales and financial operations of Kuryakyn are now led through Tucker’s Fort Worth headquarters. Shortly after the acquisition, all Kuryakyn dealers who didn’t have a Tucker account were set up as Tucker Powersports dealers. Tucker’s team of field reps were trained on the Kuryakyn product line and act as a Kuryakyn field sales force, which Kury has not had in recent years. Tucker leadership is extremely happy that all of Kuryakyn’s large accounts will continue to purchase and sell Kuryakyn products to their consumer and dealer customers. Kuryakyn’s direct-to-consumer sales program will continue under Tucker. Staffing: Several of the Wisconsin-based Kuryakyn employees have been hired by Tucker and are now based in the Fort Worth office.

Product Development: The move of Kuryakyn’s Product Development program to Tucker has been a welcome addition to Tucker’s capabilities. The additional staff and equipment will allow Tucker to continue the growth of the Kuryakyn product offering as well as the other Tucker brands. Facilities: The Kuryakyn office and product development facility in Somerset WI have been closed and are in the process of being sold.

“The acquisition of Kuryakyn has been a positive move for both companies and we are pleased at how well Kuryakyn fits in our brand structure. Tucker is now an even better resources for dealers and consumers in powersports,” said Andrea Weeke, Tucker’s Director of Owned Brands, Marketing and Apparel. “Our plan was to finish the transition by year end, and with the great cooperation of the Kuryakyn team we did just that.”

Triumph’s100,000,000th Motorcycle - “Everyone at Triumph is incredibly proud to have played a part in achieving such a momentous moment in the modern history of this iconic brand,” said CEO Nick Bloor on Triumph reaching a historic milestone in its modern era with the reveal of the millionth motorcycle built since the brand’s return in 1990.

“Over the 31 years since we re-

launched Triumph with a new line of British designed motorcycles in Cologne in 1990, we have shared so many great moments with our fans across the world. From returning to the TT champions arena, to entering the MotoGP paddock with our Moto2 Engine partnership, to supporting the biggest global riding event and its great cause for health and wellbeing with the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride, to mention only a few. Triumph’s success has always stemmed from the passion and commitment we share with our riders.”

Bloor unveiled the 1 millionth bike — a custom painted Tiger 900 Rally Pro — at Triumph’s Global Headquarters in Hinckley in front of the UK team. With its Jubilee silver paint scheme and one millionth graphics, this milestone motorcycle will be displayed in Triumph’s stand at this year’s Motorcycle Live show at the NEC and then on show in Triumph’s Factory Visitor Experience* in a new, specially created 120-year anniversary display.

“Whilst the last year has been challenging for all of us, this passion and commitment has driven Triumph to even greater heights, including the successful entry into new categories with the Trident 660 and Tiger Sport 660,” Bloor added. “Over the last three decades Triumph has maintained sustained and significant investment in our people, our partners and our in-house design, engineering, and manufacturing capabilities, in order to grow the reach and reputation of this iconic British brand. This investment in home grown talent, both in the UK and around the world, matched by the passion we share with our riders for delivering the complete and perfect motorcycle, has seen the brand go from strength to strength, achieving the most successful year in the brand’s entire 120-year history.’’

Riveter Chapter Of The Amca And Chix On 66 - Team Up with the Motorcycle Cannonball/ Cross Country Chase

Riveter Chapter of the AMCA proudly announces that the Motorcycle Cannonball/Cross Country Chase will provide sponsorship for our Chix on 66 event June 11-25, 2022. This sponsorship provides numerous benefits, including Chix on 66 participants having access to Cannonball Travel which will simplify their hotel/motel booking, and sweep support for riders who may experience mechanical difficulties or breakdowns.

Chix on 66 is a cross-country ride that follows Route 66 from Chicago, Illinois, to Santa Monica, California. Riveter Chapter President Karan Andrea says, “We are fortunate that Jason Sims has offered his support for the Chix on 66 event. His depth of knowledge and experience is valuable

to us as this is our first event, and it has been no small undertaking. Working with Jason immediately elevates what we can offer our Chix riders. I also hope that through this experience, some of our members will be inspired to compete in the Chase or the Cannonball.”

The Motorcycle Cannonball, which ran its inaugural event in 2010, is the most difficult antique endurance race in the world. Riders compete on a transcontinental route of at minimum 3,000 miles on centuryold motorcycles. Jason Sims, owner/operator of the Motorcycle Cannonball and the Cross Country Chase, comments, “We’re proud to be a supporter of Chix on 66 and the new female-focused Riveter Chapter. We’re encouraged that Chix on 66 is putting events together to attract women to the hobby.”

The Cross Country Chase, similar in structure, is a test of endurance, speed, navigation and knowledge. Riders on the Chase also compete on a slightly shorter cross-country route on antique motorcycles built between 1930 and 1960.

The Motorcycle Cannonball proved that 100-year-old bikes can and should be ridden cross country, and in the last 11 years, the governing body has fine-tuned the vintage endurance motorcycle event. The Cross Country Chase built on the groundwork of the Cannonball and brought the opportunity and challenge of crosscountry navigation to a different set of vintage motorcycle owners.

The 2022 Motorcycle Chase will also be traversing the U.S. on Route 66 in September, so it made sense for them to pair with Chix on 66, which will be run in June of 2022.

AMA AND UNITED STATES MOTORCYCLE COACHING ASSOCIATION PARTNER TO EXPAND COMPETITION COACHING IN AMERICA -The American Motorcyclist Association has entered into a partnership with the United States Motorcycle Coaching Association (USMCA) to grow AMA membership and expand access to responsible and comprehensive coaching for motorcycle racers across the country.

Under the agreement, the AMA, the national sanctioning body for motorcycle sport, and the USMCA, which has pioneered a nationally recognized motorcycle coaching certification process and national network of rider coaches, will promote ease of access and availability, safety and membership in the AMA for AMAsanctioned Competition Schools operated by USMCA-certified coaches.

“This effort will foster the development of responsible and competitive racers across numerous AMA-sanctioned disciplines,” said AMA Director of Racing Mike Pelletier. “Through this partnership, each organization will be able to leverage the others’ resources and nationwide networks to meet the growing demand for race-oriented training. The result will be more racers, and more confident racers, enjoying the motorcycle lifestyle.”

The USMCA was launched in 2016 by then-head of KTM North America Jon-Erik Burleson, AMA Motorcycle Hall of Famer — and former Victory Motorcycle CEO — Mark Blackwell and former Supercross champion and AMA Motorcycle Hall of Famer Jeff Emig. USMCA is a non-profit, membership-based organization that

has certified coaches across several states, connecting students with coaches through www.motorcyclecoaching.org.

“As motorcycle sales have soared, especially during the pandemic, our robust coaching certification program has continued to grow to meet the needs of athletes,” said USMCA President Christy LaCurelle. “This agreement helps give USMCA coaches the chance to run AMAsanctioned Competition Schools while broadening both of our networks.” To become a USMCA-certified coach, applicants have to pass a motorcycle competency and skills test, complete a background check and have training in CPR/First Aid, concussion protocol, heat illness and cardiac arrest. The USMCA’s nationally-recognized coaching certification program is an industry first that brings the professionalism of coaching on par with other well-established sports. Coaching certification must be renewed every two years.

As part of this program, the AMA will host a dedicated website page to link AMA members with USMCA coaches, and promote coaching opportunities to competition members of the association. -from the Dealer News and AMA

The winner of the 2021 WTT Annual Raffle TODD CAMPBELL- The Grand Prize winner of the 1948 Harley-Davidson Panhead was Todd Campbell of East Palestine, OH. A second-place prize of ten thousand dollars went to Sharon Crickmar of Raleigh, NC. The thirdplace prize of five thousand dollars went to Rex Gore of Miamisburg, Ohio.

“The day’s events were dedicated in memory of Walksler, who passed away earlier this year after an extended battle with cancer. “It’s been a year filled with mixed emotions. The loss of our founder, my dad Dale Walksler, has continually been on our mind, coupled with the amazing support of all our visitors throughout the year. I know he would be so proud and excited to see all the people here today and for the record-setting year we’ve had at the museum,” said museum Vice-President and

Curator Matt Walksler. Unveiling the 2022 Raffle Bike- The day was a perfect completion to the museum’s 2021 season, which had seen record-setting attendance each month. The museum also unveiled their raffle bike for 2022... This year’s Raffle Bike is the stunning 1937 Harley-Davidson Knucklehead finished in one-yearonly Delphine Blue, striped in Teak Red, and edged in Gold. This Model EL features an all-1937 61c.i. Knucklehead engine cradled in a genuine 1937 frame and fork, along with all-original pre-war fenders and gas tanks. The 1937-only dash panel sports a 120-mph speedo, NOS amp gauge, and oil pressure switch. This 30-year assemblage of genuine H-D components makes it the rarest and most original WTT Raffle Bike to date.

Ride Fast and Free Forever! If you run across a news item that begs to be featured, don’t hesitate to drop me a line to Bandit@Bikernet.com. If you need to follow our rapidly changing news more often go to the Cycle Source web site or to Bikernet.com for the very latest, breaking world motorcycle action. -Bandit

Alleyway Ivitational.................64

Battery Outlet.......................113

BikerNet.com.........................110

Bling’s Cycles.........................91

Chop Cult...............................110

Cycle Source Gear.................37

Cycle Showcase STL.............85

Cycle Stop USA.......................35

DB Custom Leather...............110

Dennis Kirk............................115

Denver’s Choppers.................93

Donnie Smith Show................75

Drag Specialties.......................9

Drag Specialties Seats...........15

Dutchman..............................113

Fandango................................51

Feuling...................................111

Garage Built Podcast..............91

GEICO.......................................3

High Seas Rally.......................45

Hijinx Apparel.......................101

Hot Leathers.........................103

Kiwi Indian...............................29

Law Tigers................................2

Led Sled..................................63

MC Creations.........................113

Mikuni......................................79

Motion Pro..............................89

No School Choppers..............35

Pandemonium........................20

Paughco.............................19,57

Progressive Insurance...........33

Providence Cycle Worx........109

S&S Cycle.............................116

SmokeOut Rally...................5,99

SpeedKing..............................55

Sporty Parts...........................113

Spectro Oils............................21

Tech Cycles............................29

Twisted Tea.............................31

Tropical Tattoo........................46

Twin Power................................4

Send Your Gut Buster to: cyclesourcemain@comcast.net

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’” and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed, and the couple was still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn’t work out; could you get a divorce in Heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.” “Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?” St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. “What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple. “OH, COME ON! “ St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”

Earle

Aboss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor, and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.” She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, “Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won’t even have enough time to undress himself.” She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, “So what happened?” She responds, “The bastard used coins. He’s still going at it!”

Robin

Two guys are standing in line to enter Heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. “I froze to death. How about you?” “I had a heart attack.” “How did that happen?” “Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work, I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack.” “That’s ironic.” “Why?” “If you would’ve looked in the fridge, we’d both be alive.”

Lynn

Aman placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself and replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

Joey

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. He’s too old to have a birth certificate, so he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest, and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains what happened. She replies, “Well, get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!”

Mr. D

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on, that night, when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. “What is that?” he asked. She said, “I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg, I had them tattoo ‘Merry Christmas,’ and on the inside of the other one, they tattooed ‘Happy New Year.’” Perplexed, he asked, “Why did you do that?” “Well,” she replied, “now you can’t complain that there’s never anything to eat between Christmas and New Year!”

Kevin

Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. “I’m sorry, Mickey, but I can’t legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane,” said the judge. Mickey replied, “I didn’t say she was mentally insane. I said that she’s f*cking Goofy!”

Jason