November 2020 Fifty Plus Advocate Eastern Edition

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FREE | Published monthly

Eastern Edition | Vol. 46 | No. 11 | November 2020

Former executive now championing the cause of ‘conscious capitalism’ page 13

advocate

Shevaun Assini, Laurie Simko’s daughter

expression of gratitude

Artist thanks pandemic frontline nurses by painting portraits series Story on page 3

Artist Laurie Simko

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Social Security and payroll tax deferral

By Mike Festa, State Director AARP Massachusetts

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On behalf of all older Americans, AARP sent a letter on Sept. 22 to congressional leaders to support a joint resolution disapproving of the new rule allowing temporary suspension of the collection of payroll taxes that largely fund Social Security.

A presidential order issued on Aug. 8 allows employers of workers who make $4,000 biweekly or less to temporarily suspend their 6.2 percent portion of the payroll tax from Sept. 1 through Dec. 31. Few employers are participating, and the taxes would have to be repaid in early 2021, but President Donald Trump has stated publicly that he would, if reelected, work to have repayment of the deferred payroll taxes forgiven.

Mike Festa AARP has long opposed any suspension or deferral of the payroll tax, which would not help unemployed workers and could potentially undermine Social Security’s funding.

Workers have paid into Social Security with every paycheck. It’s a hard-earned benefit and a promise that must be kept. It is the only guaranteed source of lifetime income in retireWorkers have paid into ment for most seniors. Did you know that Social SecuriSocial Security with ty makes up the largest source of retirement income for most every paycheck. It’s a Americans and provides nearhard-earned benefit ly all income (90 percent or more) for about 10 million and a promise that seniors? Social Security also provides important protecmust be kept. It is the tions for spouses, survivors of deceased workers, and those only guaranteed source with disabilities. Any suspension, reduction, or elimination of lifetime income in of the payroll tax contribution puts Social Security in jeoparretirement for most dy. AARP fought a proposal to suspend the payroll tax seniors. temporarily until the end of 2020, and will keep fighting any future reduction or elimination proposals.

The Social Security Administration chief actuary said if not replaced, terminating the payroll tax would deplete the Social Security trust fund by 2023, “with no ability to pay benefits thereafter.” There are concerns from both parties about any cuts to Social Security’s dedicated funding. And, there is widespread concern among America’s business community and major employers, with most not participating in the deferral.

Know that AARP will never stop fighting to protect Social Security and make sure hard-working Americans get the benefits they’ve earned. Any attempt that puts Social Security in jeopardy will be met with fierce action from AARP and our 38 million members. Now, with so many Americans struggling to afford health care and other basic needs, the promise of Social Security is even more important. We will not stand by for any effort to cut benefits or leave Social Security on shaky financial ground.

Anyone running for President of the United States must have a solution to keep Social Security strong for current and future generations.

Mike Festa is the state director for AARP Massachusetts. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

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Artist thanks pandemic frontline nurses by painting portraits series

“

By Ed Karvoski Jr. Culture Editor

F

C H E L M S F O R D / LO W E L L –

rontline nurses fighting the coronavirus became an inspiration for artist Laurie Simko of Chelmsford, who creates her artwork at Western Avenue Studios in Lowell. She painted portraits of 20 nurses, including her daughter, and titled the series “Thank You, Heroes.”

During April’s COVID-19 surge, Simko was inspired and comforted by a selfie she got from her daughter Shevaun Assini, a nurse at Holy Family Trinity Hospital in Methuen. Assini was pictured armed with personal protective equipment from a shipment that the hospital had recently received.

“She looked like a soldier going into battle,” Simko recalled. “I was relieved that she finally got her Artist | 5

I felt it was important to document this time. I also wanted to show my gratitude and thank them for their service.

Laurie Simko Artist

Laurie Simko

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Jack Lynch

Comic and addiction specialist spotlights recovery causes with humor

By Ed Karvoski Jr. Culture Editor

the nerve to face an audience yet.

“I always tried MEDFORD – to get the courage up to do it, but I’d ack Lynch of Medford inget so drunk,” he tegrates his work experiencrecalled. “I was in es as a stand-up comedian the throes of addicand a licensed addiction tion.” specialist with a firsthand Lynch recog understanding gained from nized concerning his own recovery from alcosimilarities behol and drugs. tween himself and As founder of Comics for Rea friend. The realcovery, he produces and emcees ization led him to shows featuring lineups of his comAlcoholics AnonyPHOTO/TREBMAL PHOTOGRAPHY Jack Lynch ic colleagues to benefit addiction mous meetings and recovery organizations. ultimately a detox “I’m doing comedy now more center in 1984.

In the 1980s, Lynch frequented for the fundraising and to have “One of my closest friends took the now-closed Cambridge comfun,” he noted. “It’s a really good edy clubs Catch a Rising Star and his own life and the first thing I outlet. When you go up onstage Ding Ho. There, he developed an said was, ‘Where’s the whiskey?’” and something works, there’s a creinterest in stand-up comedy, but not Lynch recounted. “I realized that ative buzz that goes with it.” booze was my only coping skill. I cried and mourned my friend, and realized that I was in the same loop he was in with drinking and sub508-886-6565 stance use. It scared the hell out of Call Bonnie Besse for more information tate-of-the-art me.” affordable retirement In recovery, Lynch returned to village in the center Catch a Rising Star in 1991 to perof Rutland. form his first open mic. He persevered his nerve-racking stage debut.

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“When I first went to AA, they pumped me so full of coffee that I’d have a couple drinks to calm down,” he joked.

While Lynch enjoyed his onthe-road job for many years, he eventually decided to seek a different line of work closer to his home.

He reached that conclusion after achieving enthusiastic responses from his audience in West Palm Beach.

“It’s the weirdest thing; you just made 300 people laugh, and an hour later you’re in a hotel room by yourself with a pizza,” he relayed.

Lynch got his first job working with people in recovery at a dual-diagnosis program in 2007. He completed an addiction program at Middlesex Community College in 2009, and became a licensed drug and alcohol counselor in 2012.

Along the way, Lynch founded Comics for Recovery. Now, he appreciates complementing his counseling work with producing and emceeing fundraisers.

“I feel a bigger sense of purpose doing these shows,” he explained.

“People come up afterward and say, ‘This is the first time I’ve laughed so much in recovery.’ And there’s so much ‘inside’ material at these shows.”

Many of these audience members relate when Lynch comically compares current lingo with the era of his stage debut.

“We had terms back then that mean something totally different now,” he tells them. “In 1991, ‘Instagram’ meant your coke dealer lived next door.”

Among several benefitting causes is Massachusetts Organization for Addiction Recovery (MOAR). Since 2010, Lynch has produced each of the annual “MOAR Laughs” benefits and entertained its audiences including halfway house residents.

“This fundraiser is even more than raising money and awareness for MOAR,” Lynch noted. “It’s also helping people in recovery forget about their troubles for a couple hours. This is way more rewarding for me than playing nightclubs.”

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + NOVEMBER 2020 + fiftyplus advocate Artist | from page 3

PAINTINGS/LAURIE SIMKO

protective gear and thought it was a really powerful image. I had to paint it.”

Painting her daughter’s image motivated Simko to create a series of portraits to chronicle nurses’ valiant efforts. Assini provided photos of her colleagues outfitted with their PPE. “I felt it was important to document this time,” Simko noted. “I also wanted to show my gratitude and thank them for their service.”

Simko communicated with the nurses via phone call or text. She ultimately posted their portraits on social media along with brief descriptions.

“I would ask if they could tell me a little about themselves,” she explained. “Some of them were hesitant; they’re not looking for the limelight. I told them that people really care about what they’re thinking and feeling. I felt it was a thoughtful process.”

A bonding between the nurses and artist further developed as Simko painted their portraits.

“I felt a very close empathy toward them,” Simko relayed. “I fell in love with their faces, which were

Dr. Arthur Friedman

Brittany

mostly covered, so I really had to concentrate on their eyes. It made me feel very connected with them. I’m absolutely fascinated with the nurses’ whole world and what they do.”

Interacting with these nurses reaffirmed Simko’s admiration she already had for the profession based on her daughter’s dedication. Simko is particularly impressed how nurses assist patients whose families can only visit them virtually.

As an example, Simko cited Assini holding an iPad at the bedside of a failing COVID patient who was in tears as he said goodbye to his adult children.

“I’m very proud of my daughter and I’m also a little fearful,” Sim-

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ko acknowledged. “I was especially fearful during the surge when she didn’t have her protective gear. The pandemic is not over, so I’m always a little trepidatious about what she does. Nurses go through a lot.”

Assini is among the 20 nurses depicted with oil-on-canvas portraits in Simko’s “Thank You, Heroes” series. The artwork will be exhibited in January and February at the Brush Art Galleries & Studios in Lowell.

Additionally, Simko took part in ARTHOUSE.NYC’s “Hero Art Project,” a tribute to medical providers who lost their lives to COVID-19 worldwide. Artists were paired with families of health-

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care workers.

ARTHOUSE.NYC paired Simko with the family of Dr. Arthur Friedman, a pioneer in urgent care medicine, who died April 30 of complications from COVID-19.

Simko painted Friedman’s portrait and gave it to his family.

On Oct. 10, the “Hero Art Project” was shared publicly on a 30-foot digital billboard overlooking the 10,000 square-foot Big Screen Plaza on Sixth Avenue at 29th Street in NYC. Plans are underway to tour the exhibit outside of NYC. The subject of Simko’s artwork in recent years was typically nature.

She’s currently refocusing her artistic attention.

“This has certainly changed my focus,” she said of her recent projects. “I don’t have it all mapped out yet; I’m just going to let it grow.

Right now, I’m responding to what’s going on around me and focusing more on aspects of the pandemic in my art.”

To view “Thank You, Heroes,” visit lauriesimko.com, click “Work,” then “Thank You Heroes Series.”

Follow Laurie Simko at facebook. com/lauriesimkoArt.

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Phil Kittredge, a man who lives by the golden rule

By Peg Lopata Contributing Writer

ome people are just born to do all kinds of work and to help others. They choose careers that serve the public and even when they retire, they continue on that same path. A man who exemplifies this is Phil Kittredge, 68, of Westborough.

Four decades-plus in Westborough Fire Department Kittredge grew up in Westborough and initially attended college in Boston, intending to study electronics. But a massive fire he observed in Kenmore Square left him “pretty impressed” with the work of the firefighters at the scene.

“I knew then that’s what I wanted to do,” he said. “I joined [the Westborough Fire Department] in 1971 and have had no regrets.”

At the beginning of his career, he and his colleagues mostly provided basic firefighting services, he

Giving back at Westborough Food Pantry After retirement from the fire department in 2013, he was able to pursue his volunteerism at the Westborough Food Pantry. He currently serves as co-president, with his wife, Donna.

“There are three great parts about working at the pantry: a team of about 75 dedicated volunteers, the clients, and the support of the town and community. I cannot say enough about the support we receive from the Board of Selectmen, the town manager, the community, including industry and local businesses.”

In “normal times,” it is not a simple thing to run a food pantry. Intricate records must be kept, reports filed with town and state organizations and the food itself must be stored and/or refrigerated properly. And in a world with COVID-19, even more precautions

PHOTO/ANDY WEIGL, WEIGL PHOTOGRAPHY

S

WESTBOROUGH -

noted. Over the years, it evolved into providing rescue and emergency medical services as well.

Phil Kittredge with a copy of his book, “Images of America – Westborough”

must be taken to ensure not only the safety of those who come in for food, but for the volunteers as well.

When the pandemic struck in March, the pantry had to change its way of operating, closing for pickups and donations. And with so many people either finding themselves unemployed or unable to work for health reasons, there was an increasing number of residents facing food insecurity. On average,

before the pandemic, the pantry served approximately 130 families.

During the spring and summer months, that number climbed to approximately 160 families.

Thanks to many generous donors, the pantry received gift cards to distribute to residents in need.

Later in the spring, several town groups organized safe food drives.

Another bit of great fortune for the pantry, Kittredge noted, was a $50,000 grant that State Sen. Jamie Eldridge (D-Acton) helped to secure. Those funds were used for a desperately needed air conditioning system.

“Sometimes it gets really hot in some of the rooms, up to the high 90s. And many of our volunteers are elderly – that was not good for them,” Kittredge noted. “So we were so appreciative.”

“Images of America – Westborough” His passionate interest in local history has made him a sought-after historian on his hometown. It all began in high school.

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www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + NOVEMBER 2020 + fiftyplus advocate Left: Eagle and Corner blocks at West Main and South Street., 1869. Both buildings were destroyed by fire in 1873.

VINTAGE WESTBOROUGH PHOTOS COURTESY OF PHIL KITTREDGE

“I met Don Lowe, who wrote a local history column. I was fascinated by the images and the stories behind the images,” said Kittredge. “I collected postcards of Westborough and hunted down images, maps and anything to do with the town. I have traveled to hundreds of antique shops, paper and ephemera shows and bookstores in search of images and memorabilia.”

In 2018, after he worked with Katherine Anderson, author of “Westborough State Hospital,” Arcadia Publishing (Anderson’s publisher) gave Kittredge the go-ahead to write a history of Westborough. The

writing process had its challenges for this first-time author, but he had help from his wife, Donna; Kristina Allen, author of an earlier book on Westborough history, “On the Beaten Path” (Westborough Historical Society, 1984), and editors at Arcadia.

The result, “Images of America – Westborough” is a wonderful chronicle of the town, with over 200 rare images.

Many of the original glass images he used for the book he found buried in barns and basements, “covered in pigeon poop!” he laughed.

Painstakingly cleaning and restoring them, he brings Westborough’s past to vivid life.

Indeed, even though the book, is a story of Westborough, it is one any fan of local history would enjoy reading.

For more information on the book, visit www.arcadiapublishing.com.

Circa 1870s, the Fire Brigade at the State Reform School on Lyman Street.

Above: The Westborough Public Library still under construction. The building opened on June 24, 1908.

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Unsolicited letters to the editor become the property of this newspaper and can be reprinted in part or in whole unless otherwise stated. Fifty Plus Advocate columnists writing under a byline are expressing their personal opinions and not necessarily those of the newspaper.

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‘I wish you bluebirds’

By Barbara Allen Contributing Writer

I

MAYNARD -

n his 1964 album, “I Wish You Love,” Frank Sinatra croons, “I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to sing…”

Ray Van Vorse, 91, has had that song in his heart for almost 60 years. In 1962, the Maynard resident learned from a Reader’s Digest article that the beautiful birds were on the verge of extinction. It kindled within him a desire to do whatever he could to help them.

One of the main reasons for the bluebirds’ near-demise, said Van Vorse, was the importation of the English house sparrow in the 1850s. Over the years, these newcomers increased in number and took over most of the natural nest-

ing hole sites, often killing the original native hole nesters.

“It was discovered that nesting boxes [birdhouses] proved a perfect substitute and were readily accepted by bluebirds and other native hole nesters,” he explained. “By monitoring the boxes and evicting the interlopers, it was found bluebirds had a chance.”

Providing more bluebird-specific nesting boxes is key to their survival. Directions for making the nesting boxes are easy to find online, as are instructions for their proper placement. Bluebird-specific boxes can also be purchased readymade in larger hardware, garden/ bird stores and online.

But building or setting up the bluebird nesting boxes is only the beginning. Once in place, the boxes need to be maintained and monitored for damage by the elements or vandalism. Prior to each nesting

Below: Mama bluebird getting her nest ready

Below: The mealworms in the old pan had been eaten so Van Vorse said “This little guy was giving me a ‘dirty look.’”

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Left: Ray Van Vorse working on a nesting box

season (March and June), they need to be cleared of old nesting material (which can harbor parasites harmful to the bluebird) and the insides sprayed with a mixture of bleach and water. English house sparrows will still attempt to oust bluebirds from their residence and build their own nests in the birdhouse. These should be removed when discovered. Birdhouses also need to be repaired or replaced before the onset of cold weather. Although bluebirds typically start “househunting” in

March, they will sometimes linger through the winter, especially if fed dried mealworms.

Van Vorse used to keep an old metal pan outside his kitchen window for just that purpose. Once the mealworms had been placed in the pan, he would “whistle like a chickadee,” and nearby bluebirds, recognizing his “call to dinner,” would flock to the pan to gobble up their treat. He has since replaced the pan with a special mealworm feeder, but still “whistles the bluebirds in,” although he admitted that his whistle “is now a bit more feeble.”

Over the years, Van Vorse alone maintained and monitored not only several bluebird nesting boxes in his own yard, but 45 others as well, in different locations in nearby towns.

About six years ago, however, he found himself unable to keep up with the birdhouse management and put out the word that he needed help. Stow resident John CaBluebirds | 10

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BUSINESS FEATURE

A ‘hidden gem’

Interiors by Amadeus at the Shrewsbury Design Center

By Melanie Petrucci Contributing Writer

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SHREWSBURY –

PHOTO/MELANIE PETRUCCI

ld world artisanal craftmanship meets new world design concepts at Interiors by Amadeus, a family-run business founded by George Diaz. His dynamic team includes his sister Melissa Diaz - lead designer; her partner Sean Higgins – production manager; and Diana Higgins - customer service manager.

This “hidden gem” is tucked away in an unimposing storefront in the Shrewsbury Design Center, located at 516 Boston Turnpike (Route 9). Once inside, one is instantly dazzled by the options available. What’s more, they can work within a variety of budgets and offer financing.

“We design kitchens and baths, but we are not limited to just that. We manufacture our own line of upscale custom wrought iron furniture that includes beds, tables, chandeliers, and everything wrought iron called Arte Fierro,” George Diaz explained.

“We use different mediums and include marble, granite, wood, epoxies, fabric, and upholstery so we really are a studio that has a lot to offer.”

The Diaz siblings come from a long line of artists.

“Our fathers’ father and his father were all artisans,” Diaz said. “The ability to design, hand forge and bring everything to life comes natural to us as it is in our DNA.” It’s that old-world knowledge that informs their modern creations which are hand forged and manufactured at their studio.

“We are a one stop shop and we are the one studio that has control over almost 95 percent of what we do. We do custom cabinetry and have a company that

The Team at Interiors by Amadeus - (l to r) Sean Higgins, Diana Higgins, Melissa Diaz, and George Diaz,

manufactures our cabinets,” Diaz noted.

The design process for a kitchen or bath begins with a consultation where they will meet at their client’s home and discuss what the client’s wants and needs are, get a visual of the space and to take measurements. The process from start to finish averages six weeks.

Using technology, they will produce a 3-D image where the client can take a virtual tour of what their kitchen or bath project will look like.

“We have an amazing team.

We understand each other and respect each other,” Diaz remarked.

“We work together and continually collaborate and communicate keeping our clients informed every step of the way.”

When asked what trends that they are seeing now, he noted that in New England there is a Shaker-style of cabinet in whites, grays, and mocha. The countertops that are popular resemble marble.

Closer to Boston he is seeing a European plain slab-style which is more contemporary.

“The thing that is IN everywhere, especially since we

brought it to New England (there isn’t anyone else that does it the way that we do) is our custom wrought iron furniture line – Arte Fierro,” Diaz commented.

He predicts that his furniture line will overtake his kitchen and design business. However, he said that he will always design kitchens and baths and provide their custom cabinetry.

To learn more, visit the showroom at 516 Boston Turnpike, Shrewsbury. Visit their website for both their kitchen and bath design studio – www.interiorsbyamadeus.com. and their custom wrought iron studio - www.artefierro.com. For more information email info@interiorsbyamadeus. com or call 508-471-4147.

10 •

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labria was the first to come forward to offer his assistance, starting immediately by repairing and restoring some of the birdhouses that were in the worst shape.

“He has done more than I can ever thank him for,” said Van Vorse.

“What I appreciate about working with Ray over the years is the John Calabria (left) and Ray Van Vorse (right) return to a simpler, and slower time,” noted CaBut more help is always needed. labria. “Visiting with him, talking “We hope many others will take with him - time slows down. We are up saving bluebirds in their area as kindred spirits in our [observation well,” said Van Vorse. “It’s great exof ] all the unfoldings in nature.” ercise to get out, take care of these “Spending time with Ray honboxes and at the same time save a ors our elders, honors the menbeautiful native bird badly in need tor-apprenticeship relationship,” of help.” he continued. “It keeps him in the game and allows him to share his For information on how to help countless of hours of mastery…”

Van Vorse and the Bluebird Four, Two additional helpers, Mark email Van Vorse at 25bloo_brd@ Higgins and Stephanie Stratitoast.net or Calabria at eganvay@ gos, have since joined Van Vorse gmail.com. To learn more about and Calabria in their mission. The saving the bluebirds in your own “Bluebird Four,” as they refer to area, Google “Building your own themselves, together now manage bluebird boxes,” and “Starting a 65 nesting boxes on their “Bluebird Bluebird Trail.”

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Pandemic inspires heartfelt music by singer-songwriter

By Ed Karvoski Jr. Culture Editor

D W A LT H A M –

PHOTO/BOB BOND

espite challenges posed by the pandemic restrictions, Linda Marks of Waltham has her heart firmly set on continuing to express herself as a singer-songwriter and pianist. In addition to livestreaming her music on multiple platforms, Marks is recording an album of songs that she composed during the pandemic.

Concurrently, she’s observing the inescapable relevance of the coronavirus for herself and audiences.

“Everybody is affected by this,” she said of the pandemic. “I have a whole bunch of friends who have gotten COVID-19. None of them did anything at risk; they were just out in the world. This is not a hoax, this is real.”

Her forthcoming album, titled

Linda Marks

“Monuments of Love,” is set to be released in 2021. Among its 14 original songs is “Prayers,” which she wrote after learning that her friend, singer-actor Bob DiCicco, was battling COVID-19 on a ventilator in a hospital ICU. His 43day hospitalization began April 12, followed by extensive rehabilitation.

Marks | 14

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“Prayers”

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It could be me, it could be you It could be any one of us Parents, children too No one is immune, some are more at risk We’ve never ever had to live through A time like this Prayers, hands clasped as one Asking for healing grace Sending love Tears, we don’t know Will our loved ones survive?

Must we let them go?

Just a matter of time, before the beast Grasps hold of a loved one Inflicts this damned disease Masks and gloves and distance, the ambulance arrives They’re taken from us as we yearn To be by their side

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I never could imagine that there’d be a time I’d lose someone so close and dear And not get to say goodbye Prayers, hands clasped as one Asking for healing grace Sending love Fears, we can’t know Must we let them go?

Will our loved ones survive?

Must we let them go?

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + NOVEMBER 2020 + fiftyplus advocate

• 13

Former business executive now championing the cause of ‘conscious capitalism’

By Brett Peruzzi Contributing Writer

D CHATHAM -

arby Hobbs originally planned to be a special education teacher, but when she decided to go into business instead, she didn’t leave behind her deeply held desire to help and educate people.

The 58-year-old Chatham resident got an MBA instead of a M.Ed, and embarked on a long career in the financial services industry. She started in retail banking, and then moved to the servicing side of mutual funds and progressed in various marketing management roles at several well-known companies, including Fidelity Investments.

It was a booming business as more and more ordinary people invested in mutual funds for their IRA and 401k accounts. Her clients included financial advisors, asset managers, banks, and insurance firms, but she was far from the stereotypical ruthless executive sometimes portrayed in books and movies.

“What my work had been for many years was to approach my clients with a humanistic touch, a caring, listening mode, a way to speak to them as human beings to understand what they value and what is important to them,” Hobbs explained. “Once you build that bridge of caring and empathy towards any human being you then can engage on whatever level you need to, as it comes from the heart, the seat of all compassion.”

“This thinking led me to attend a conference in Chicago in the early 2000s that focused on CSR (Corporate Social ResponsibiliDarby Hobbs ty) and in attendance were many CEOs from various sectors, none of which were from financial services,” she recalled. “I later became certified in CSR and tried to bring many of these principles to the financial services industry, and as you can imagine I was met with a jaundiced eye if not a snicker or two.”

“I might not be that direct shareholder activist,” she asserted, “but I calmly set upon my path to methodically push the rock up the hill to educate, cultivate, engage and commune with like-minded individuals and campaigns across business, academia and society.”

That led her to “conscious capitalism,” which is defined as having a higher purpose for the creation of a business, and in that understanding you are creating a stakeholder strategy that allows for the intersection of profit and purpose.

In 2013, the commitment to such principles caused Hobbs to leave her corporate job and fully dedicate herself to her consulting business, SOCIAL3, to bring the concepts of corporate social responsibility, conscious capitalism, and, in turn, socially responsible investing, to more financial services companies.

“We highlight the emotional, environmental, financial, intellectual, physical, relational and spiritual aspects of an individual’s life,” said Hobbs. “That goes for a financial advisor within a firm and for an investor deciding on their wealth management strategy,” “We believe that by connecting the heart, to the mind, to the wallet, we can unlock a newer form of investing DNA which will create a virtuous cycle of conscious capital formation,” she explained. “This in turn helps to fuel Hobbs | 14

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Former business executive now championing the cause of ‘conscious capitalism’ Hobbs | from page 13

a sustainable living model where individuals are more mindful of where they invest all resources. We see a clear path to alter the investment advisory model away from old standards, to new norms reflecting alignment of human values into the investment process and approach.”

Hobbs is also using other methods to spread the word about the principles she holds so dearly.

She is an adjunct professor at Boston University, teaching social entrepreneurship and impact investing, and served as the investor in residence for the student-led impact fund at Bridgewater State University for two years. Her latest project is editing and producing a book of essays written by 34 like-minded experts called “Aligning Hearts, Minds and Wallets: A Collective Experience (Reshaping Capitalism for the Greater Global Good).” It is slated for release in 2021.

Hobbs had this advice for older business professionals, especially those who are trying to pivot to more values-based work in their later years.

“Are you doing or have you done or followed your soul’s purpose?” she asked. “Have you listened to that inner child, the one that at the age of five knew exactly what you loved and wanted to do?”

“It takes great courage to find a way to incorporate what you enjoy on the foundation that you’ve built for many years.”

Pandemic inspires heartfelt music by singer-songwriter Marks | from page 12

“Bob is the sweetest person you could ever meet and has a gorgeous baritone voice,” she noted. “When I heard that he had COVID-19, I was concerned; but when I heard the degree of it, I was devastated and really scared that I could lose my friend.”

As her lyric conveys, “We’ve never ever had to live through a time like this.”

Prior to writing the song, the last time when Marks saw DiCicco was in February. He attended the final Music Salon house concert, which she had been hosting monthly at her Waltham home from 2015 until the pandemic restrictions took effect.

Pre-pandemic, the house concerts included a potluck dinner; a presentation by a visual artist, poet or author; an opening set by Marks; and a featured musical act. Now, Marks presents virtual house concerts on “The Music Salon” Facebook group page. The livestreams are done more frequently and attract participants from a broader geographical area.

“The format is a three-hour block, where six different musicians in all genres are welcome to do a half-an-hour set,” she explained. “There are so many talented musicians.”

Marks also has a residency on the Facebook livestream page “Apocalyptic Open Mic,” described on the site as “a community of musicians dedicated to getting through the COVID-19 crisis with music to make us all a little happier.” She

livestreams Tuesdays at 8 p.m.

On Sunday evenings, she presents on her business and personal Facebook pages a solo livestream titled “Songs from the Heart, Meditations for the Heart.” Marks acknowledges the challenge of performing remotely while creating what she calls “an intimate heart-to-heart style with the audience.”

“I’m staring at my iPhone on my upright piano,” she said of her livestream routine. “One thing that’s lovely is that people can make comments along the way. I try to respond to them.”

Marks was pleasantly surprised when DiCicco tuned in to a livestream in July as she was singing “Prayers.”

She excitedly told him, “Bob, I can’t wait to hear you sing. In fact, I look forward to having a livestream with your voice on it!”

Also in July, the Waltham Public Library invited residents to submit visual artwork, poems or music created during the pandemic for its “Quarantine Community Art Project.” Marks’ song “One Human Race” was selected to be part of the multimedia online presentation.

“Songwriters’ lyrics and music are ways that we’re transmuting pain into gold,” Marks said.

“Artists connect very deeply to the heart and soul of humanity and find ways of expression for most people who would not have a voice.”

Find more information about Linda Marks at lindamarksmusic.com and facebook.com/lindamarksmusic.

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Navigating the sometimes hard road of caregiving

By Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. Executive Director, Colony Retirement Homes

“

Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.

– Anne Wilson Schaef

Elder care is not always easy or glamorous. Nonetheless, I always wanted to be the one to take care of my parents when they aged. I wanted to be able to offer them the care that I had given to strangers for years. Caring for them was an easy commitment to make because we had a great relationship. Our mutual

respect made communication easier.

A good friend, Louise, recently started caring for her parents. Her biggest challenge, however, was not navigating the eldercare field, it was dealing with parents in need while simultaneously dealing with 50 years of a rocky relationship.

Caregiving is a hard road under good circumstances. Some caregivers have an even more treacherous path– they may also be weaving through a minefield of emotional abuse, mental illness, or addiction issues. These relationships are frustrating, overwhelming and disheartening at best.

Here are the lessons Louise and I learned together while trying to cobble together care for her parents.

1. Acknowledge the struggle. If your elder was manipulative, abusive, addicted or mentally ill, it has likely shaped who you are. Understand that you will have a hard time not getting sucked back into the drama they create. Know that you are a worthy and good human being, even if you cannot live up to their expectations. Maybe their expectations are the problem. Seek help from a therapist to affirm your worth. You will need someone solely on your side. Journal your experiences and your feelings to help give them a name and help you understand later what you are now going through.

2. Know the difference between urgent and an emergency. Reality check what you are reacting to. Are you finding ways to seek approval? Do you need to feel needed? If you are taking action of any sort, ask yourself who needs this done today – you or your elder? And is that ok with you?

3. Decide what you can and cannot do. If you cannot give them money or give up your exercise class, let your elder know that you are willing to help, but some items are nonnegotiable. They may ask. Be prepared to say no.

4. Affirmatively state your role and your reasons. “Mom, my job is to bring you an occasional meal. I can’t bring you dinner every night, that is why you live here.

They will have dinner for you.”

5. Enforce your boundaries. This is the hardest step if you have not done your homework on the first four steps. Here are some examples of boundaries that make sense from a caregiver’s point of view that are all valid and reasonable in different situations. a. “Mom, I know you used to talk to me that way, but that won’t fly anymore.

If you scream at me or say mean things to me, I will leave.” b. “Dad, not being able to get the game on the TV is not something I can help you with while I am at work. I will be by tomorrow and I will fix the TV then.” c. “Please stop trying to guilt me into coming by more often. That just makes me NOT want to visit you.” d. “Mom, my back won’t let me give you a shower. I can’t get hurt because then we’d both need someone to help us. I won’t take that chance.”

Healing from the past is not linear. You may need to read this list several times. That is ok. The most important step is to remember to validate yourself because nobody else may be able to do so. And remember to grieve. Grieve for the mother you never had. Grieve for the father you always wanted. Grieve for the relationship that will never be the same.

Nobody said caregiving is easy. Sometimes, it is worth it, even if it is not perfect.

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Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. is the Executive Director of Colony Retirement Homes. She can be reached at 508-755-0444 or mdelorey@colonyretirement.com and www.colonyretirementhomes.com. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + NOVEMBER 2020 + fiftyplus advocate

• 15

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The holiday season and reverse mortgages Managing Director, Helping Hands Community Partners

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Are reverse mortgages expensive?

The only correct answer is it depends on your situation. A reverse mortgage typically will have greater closing costs than a conventional loan.

But when used appropriately, a reverse mortgage has more benefits. When compared to the costs of moving, a reverse mortgage is usually significantly less expensive than paying a real estate agent’s commission, moving costs, fixing your home to sell, and of course the emotional cost of downsizing and leaving your memories behind.

How much money is available to me?

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The primary events when a reverse mortgage is required to be paid back include: • If you move and sell your home • The last remaining homeowner passes away • The home is no longer the primary residence • The property falls into significant disrepair • The real estate taxes or property insurance are no longer being paid Reverse mortgages are typically paid back by selling the home. Family members have the option to keep the home but would need to pay off the reverse mortgage. There are several unique situations that I am happy to explain to you.

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After paying off any prior mortgage on the home, you have no restriction on how you use the money.

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Reverse mortgage | Page 17

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viewpoint Eighty five years of too many books

By Janice Lindsay

T

his year marks the 85th anniversary of the start of what is sometimes called “the modern paperback revolution,” which made it possible for people like me to accumulate way too many books.

Not that there is such a thing as too many books, in my opinion; the problem is more likely to be not enough shelves.

This opinion is shared by many book-lovers, but not necessarily by their less enamored, more practical, significant others, who might view the growing book piles with skepticism, if not alarm.

Soft-cover books had been around for a while, but the real paperback revolution began in 1935, when the first Penguin paperback was issued in England. The trend leaped to the United States. Then, as now, hardcover books were expensive.

With the advent of widely marketed paperbacks, practically anybody could plunk a few cents down on the drugstore counter and walk away with hours of good reading.

The new paperbacks were usually small enough to fit in a pocket, so for a long time they were called

Inklings

“pocketbooks.”Their low prices meant that ordinary folks could grow their own libraries and hear their significant others ask, “Do you really need to keep all these books? Will you ever read them again?” Answer: (a) These books are my friends, and I can’t part with my friends; (b) I don’t know if I’ll read a book again, so I’d better keep it just in case.

I’ve read that the first mass-market pocketbook in the States was Pearl Buck’s “The Good Earth.” Definitely a keeper.

The oldest paperback in my collection was published during World War II, when publishing was a challenge because so many commodities were rationed. It’s James Hilton’s “Random Harvest.” (The movie starred Greer Garson and Ronald Colman.) It’s a “Genuine Pocket Book,” printed in 1944, “a wartime book…produced in full compliance with the government’s regulations for conserving paper and other essential materials.”

It’s 4 inches by 6 by ½. The paper is thin, the small type is crammed onto as few pages as possible. Behind the title page, a bold-stroke line drawing of a fierce, flying bald eagle fills a third of the page. It is viewed from the side, eyebrow (?) curved with determination. It holds a book in its talons.

From its beak flows a banner reading, “Books are weapons in the war of ideas.”

The holiday season and reverse mortgages Mortgage | from page 16 • Complete home repairs or improvements • Pay real estate taxes • Healthcare expenses • Not burdening other family members • Purchasing other property • Legal expenses including divorce • Having cash reserves for unexpected life events • Improving one’s quality of life • Gaining financial peace of mind

What do I do next? Take action!

If you or a friend have questions about reverse mortgages, just give me a call or email and I’ll be happy to explain all the details and send you the free “How to Use Your Home to Stay at Home” 36-page book. This is the official reverse mortgage consumer booklet approved by the HUD and published by the National Council on Aging.

I look forward to speaking with you.

It’s a good life.

Alain Valles is a managing director of Helping Hands Community Partners, Inc. and was the first designated Certified Reverse Mortgage Professional in New England.

He obtained a master of science from the M.I.T. Center for Real Estate, an MBA from the Wharton School, and graduated summa cum laude from UMass Amherst. He can be reached directly at 781-724-6221 or by email at av@hhcp.org. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

On the back cover, white letters on a black block state, “Send this book to a boy in the armed forces anywhere in the U. S., only 4 cents.” Our soldiers were encouraged to read, though I’m not sure how they’d feel about the story of a man who had entirely lost the memory of three years of his life due to wounds received in World War One. The next big revolution for book-lovers, decades later, was the electronic reader. Imagine, an almost infinite number of books, for very few dollars, available on demand, to carry conveniently anywhere in the world.

Initially, many people thought the electronic reader would be the end of paper books.

But it didn’t turn out that way.

It turns out that book-lovers love not just the content of their books, but also the form.

I could read “Random Harvest” on a little gray screen. But then I couldn’t feel the softness of the worn pages, smell the sweet mustiness of almost eight decades, wonder who

• 17

owned the book before I bought it for a quarter at a secondhand book shop, or hold a piece of history in my book-loving hands.

Or see the American eagle assure me that book reading is my patriotic duty.

Contact jlindsay@tidewater.net

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Musician friends meet for ‘Uke-a-Rama Llama Ding Dong Day Y’all’

By Ed Karvoski Jr. Culture Editor

A

REGION –

PHOTOS/ED KARVOSKI JR.

group of friends from several communities enjoy playing ukulele together. The group is known as UkeA-Rama Llama Ding Dong Day Y’all. As a pandemic safety measure, their weekly meetings moved outdoors to Dean Park in Shrewsbury.

Marty Ayotte of Worcester united these musicians, who hail from Berlin, Holden, Northborough, Oxford, Shrewsbury and Stow. In addition to sharing musical interests, they’re all within the same age range.

“We’re all retired,” Ayotte noted. “Seniors are always looking for something to do that’s not too strenuous and playing the ukulele isn’t strenuous – unless you play the way I do. I like to really get into it and give the uke some hard strums.”

Marty Ayotte of Worcester sings and gives his ukulele some hard strums.

Ayotte’s interest in the ukulele was sparked a few years ago when he played harmonica in the now-disbanded group called Grade “A” Fancy with bandmate Rich Leufstedt. A self-described “ukaholic,” Leufstedt leads the Union Ukulele Club in Worcester. Ayotte attended a couple of the club’s meetings.

“They were pretty far advanced, and at the time, I was too green,” he recounted. “I couldn’t keep up with them, so I went home and started practicing.”

In 2018, Ayotte’s practice time became weekly ukulele meetings at his Worcester home with his friends Anna Connors of Shrews-

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bury, and Oxford residents Russ Garre and Bill Swift. Each of these friends hadn’t played ukulele before joining the group.

“We’d giggle at each other’s imperfections,” Ayotte acknowledged. “We kept playing and we started sounding better. When you

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• 19

Uke-a-Rama | from page 18

sit down and play music with somebody, you connect with them on a plain that you don’t even know you’re on. The rhythm of the music and biorhythms of your body all connect.”

The attendance of ukulele players steadily grew, averaging from four to Priscilla Messinger of Holliston plays her ukulele.

10 per week. They continued meeting at Ayotte’s home until the pandemic stay-at-home advisory took effect in March.

Meetings moved outdoors Thursdays, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., weather permitting, from midsummer through fall at the Dean Park bandRuss Garre of Oxford and Anna Connors of stand in ShrewsShrewsbury share sheet music while playing their bury. From the start ukuleles. of their outdoor meetings, Ayotte decorated the bandstand with festive banners.

“There’s plenty of room on the stage, so it’s easy to keep a distance between each other,” he explained.

Ayotte is grateful that Anna Connors recommended Dean Park for an outdoor meeting Bill Swift of Oxford sings and strums his ukulele. place. Around the same time, she berens,” he recalled. “Dean Park has a gan rehearsing there with a belbeautiful breeze that goes through ly-dance troupe of seniors known there almost all the time.” as Silver Moon Gypsies. Connors These ukulele-playing friends also suggested the ukulele group’s appreciate their soothing get-toname: Uke-a-Rama Llama Ding gethers amid the sometimes stressDong Day Y’all. ful pandemic.

“Anna is like a ball of fire,” Ayo“Ukulele people don’t have a tte commented. “I might have startmean streak in their bodies,” Ayoed putting the group together, but I tte declared. “Everybody who plays give Anna so much credit. She’s a ukulele is laidback and calm. That’s great person to have in your social the kind of vibe we have when we organization. She’s a go-getter.” get together.”

On one Thursday with weather Anyone who is able to help forecasts for rainstorms, the group provide the group an indoor winsought shelter at Auburn Mall’s tertime meeting place large enough parking garage. It wasn’t quite the for social distancing, can email same serene environment as Dean them at martyayotte@gmail.com.

Park, Ayotte noted.

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Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I pray that wherever you are when you read this you and yours are well. These past 7 months have been trying in a lot of ways but over the course of our quarantine I have learned a couple of things that I would like to share with you. First, it is the little things that you miss. I, maybe like many of you, haven’t been able to see my family since the pandemic hit. What I miss most is seeing them and being able to travel without having to worry. Second, a schedule helps break up the days as well as spending time outside. Third, I have learned what I always believed… the church was built for a time like this. I know that church seems to have no resemblance to pre covid times and yet, this is what we have been created for. The church exists to foster relationship with God and to love our neighbors and community as Christ has loved us, both critical aspects of surviving the pandemic. During this time, I want you to know that St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church is here for you. We are here to pray with you, walk with you, and share in the journey. I pray that you will come see for yourself any Sunday for our outdoor service at 10am. ~ In Christ, Rev. Mary Rosendale 3 John St., Westborough | www.ststeph.com | 508-366-4134

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