Fifty Plus Advocate Nov. 2018

FREE | Published monthly

November 2018 | Vol. 44 | No. 11 | 24 pp.

fiftyplus advocate

Sweet

Rewards

Local beekeeper brings ‘nectah’ to Westborough page 10

PHOTO/ANDY WEIGL, WEIGL PHOTOGRAPHY

Gerry Gross

A caring community for elders INDEPENDENT LIVING • REST HOME • RESPITE CARE A Legacy of Providing Exceptional Care for SeniorsTracey Since 1874 A Legacy of Providing Exceptional Senior Care Since 1874 • For information contact King at (508)868-0967 • www.goddardhomestead.org For More Information Contact Tracey King at 508-868-0967 www.goddardhomestead.org

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Survey finds neighborhood connections key to countering social isolation

By Mike Festa, State Director AARP Massachusetts

A

The Rules of Aging are Changing.

More and more people are living longer, healthier, productive lives. It’s time to explore new territories and pioneer new behaviors, like reinventing how we work, live and play with PASSION. It’s time to change the conversation on aging and BEAUTY. It’s time to challenge outdated beliefs and spark new solutions so we can all choose how we live as we age — with PRIDE and CONFIDENCE. Let’s seize the opportunity to create a new vision for aging — one complete with new stories, new innovations, and new civic solutions.

Join the conversation and inspire others to value people regardless of their age. disruptaging.aarp

new survey released by AARP Foundation, “Loneliness and Social Connections: A National Survey of Adults 45 and Older,” finds that 1 in 3 U.S. adults age 45 and older are lonely.

While the percentage is unchanged from a preMike Festa vious loneliness study conducted by AARP Research in 2010, approximately five million more midlife and older adults are lonely due to growth in this age group among the population.

Over the past several years, both loneliness and isolation have emerged as public health issues that could have serious implications for quality of life and the U.S. economy if not properly addressed. Medicare spends an estimated $6.7 billion each year on socially isolated adults. The health risks of prolonged isolation are equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Although social isolation and loneliness are related, they are distinct and can occur independent of one another. Social isolation is objective, with measurable factors like the size of one’s social network, while loneliness is more personal and subjective — it’s how people perceive their experience and whether they feel they lack the connections, companionship or sense of belonging that humans need to thrive. Through this survey, the Foundation aimed to improve society’s understanding of loneliness and its relationship to the factors of social isolation.

Among other findings, the survey identified several risk factors and predictors of loneliness.

Notably, populations at increased risk for chronic loneliness include people with low income (less than $25,000 per year), unpaid caregivers, and those who self-identify as LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual,

transgender or queer).

Overall, the survey found that increased social connections can reduce social isolation and loneliness. In particular, it revealed a clear relationship between loneliness among midlife and older adults and their connections with their neighbors — which is a new area of focus in 2018. Thirty-three percent of midlife and older adults who have spoken to their neighbors are lonely, compared with 61 percent who have never spoken to a neighbor.

The study also measured the prevalence of loneliness across demographic groups and explored the relationship between loneliness and life experiences, social connections, health and technology.

Key findings include: • Several populations, including unpaid caregivers, low-income individuals, and those who self-identify as LGBTQ, are at increased risk for chronic loneliness. AARP Massachusetts seeks to ease the burden of these groups by advocating for the CARE Act, Family Caregiver Tax credit, and being a part of the LGBTQ aging commission.

• The size of one’s social network and being physically isolated are the top predictors of loneliness, but depression, anxiety, overall health, and age are also contributing factors.

• The ways in which older adults cope with loneliness vary depending on how frequently they feel lonely. Chronically lonely adults are more likely to turn to isolated activities to cope, such as watching television or surfing the internet, while those who are not chronically lonely are more likely to talk with a friend or go out with family when feelings of loneliness do occur.

• Fewer than 20 percent of people have discussed feelings of loneliness with their health care provider.

To read the full report, visit: www.aarp. org/connections2018. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + November 2018 + fiftyplus advocate

money matters

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Reverse mortgage answers

By Alain Valles, CRMP, CSA, MS, MBA Nonprofit Charitable Managing Director, Helping Hands Community Partners, Inc.

Information you can trust As Mana g i n g Director of the nonprofit charitable mortgage company, Helping Hands C o m munity Partners, I help with our mission to educate people about the pros and cons of reverse mortgages and, when appropriate, to arrange financing or help with other housing options.

Reverse Mortgage

What is a reverse mortgage?

A reverse mortgage, also known as a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM), is a Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) government insured loan that allows eligible older homeowners to access the equity in their homes by receiving lump sum cash, a monthly check, and/or a line of credit. The key advantage of a reverse mortgage is you do not have make any monthly interest payments on the money you borrow. You are though, always obligated to pay your property insurance, real estate taxes, and abide by other loan guidelines.

Are reverse mortgages expensive?

The only correct answer is it depends on your situation. A reverse mortgage typically will have greater closing costs than a

conventional loan. But when used appropriately, a reverse mortgage has more benefits. When compared to the costs of moving, a reverse mortgage is usually significantly less expensive than paying a real estate agent’s commission, moving costs, fixing your home to sell, and of course the emotional cost of downsizing and leaving your memories behind.

How much money is available to me?

A quick phone call or email will get you a specific answer. The only initial information we need is: • Estimated home value • Current mortgage balance, if any • Date of birth When and how is a reverse mortgage paid back?

The primary events when a reverse mortgage is required to be paid back include: • If you move and sell your home • The last remaining homeowner passes away • The home is no longer the primary residence • The property falls into significant disrepair • The real estate taxes or property insurance are no longer being paid Reverse mortgages are typically paid back by selling the home.

Family members have the option to keep the home but would need to pay off the reverse mortgage.

There are several unique situations that I am happy to explain to you.

A 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable organization

A Reverse Mortgage is not for everyone.

But everyone should know the facts about a Reverse Mortgage and how it works.

Helping Hands Community Partners, Inc., is a non-profit 501(c)(3) with a mission of educating senior homeowners about housing options. We can explain and, when appropriate, arrange reverse mortgages.

Call or email to receive a FREE copy of the National Council on Aging’s 36-page “Use Your Home to Stay at Home,” consumer booklet.

ge m o r tg a everse r d l e ia v ic o T h e o ff r b o o k le ta p p r e t c o n s u m . D e p a r tm e n .S U e th by s in g of Hou n a b r &U pment lo e v e D

Call to get your FREE copy of “Use Your Home to Stay at Home” (781) 724-6221 Or email to: av@hhcp.org

How can I use the money?

After paying off any prior mortgage on the home, you have no restriction on how you use the money. With that said, we always Reverse mortgage page 4

Massachusetts Mortgage Broker License MB1553939 NMLS #1553939 We arrange but do not make loans.

www.helpinghandscommunitypartners.org 40 Accord Park Drive – Suite 203 – Norwell, MA 02061

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Striving and aging

By Marianne Delorey, Ph.D.

A

Scottish writer, Alexander Chalmers, is attributed as saying that the three components of happiness are “Something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for.” I believe that this quote may provide some insight, but it is not complete. Especially as you age, while you can remain forward thinking and continue to hope, you become more accustomed to the idea that you may not be part of a future. Certainly, accepting that you may not see your 8 year old great granddaughter graduate from college may be a healthier response than believing yourself immortal.

However, we all need a reason to

Housing Options

Everyone needs something to do, someone to love and something to strive for. keep going. That is why I would instead say that everyone needs something to do, someone to love and something to strive for.

There are a lot of reasons to like the word strive, but first among them is that “to strive” is an active verb, defined as “to make great efforts” or “to struggle or fight” versus “to hope” which focuses on feelings and beliefs.

Hoping is very passive and the locus of control for hoping remains external to the person.

Sometimes, we are required to strive by circumstance. My mother was fond of saying that as you age, more of you goes in the drawer at night – the reading glasses, the teeth, prostheses, etc. The challenge of altered abilities is a common experience for many elderly

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people. Most people would consider physical limitations to be a barrier to living life fully. Perhaps, though, that is not entirely true.

Maybe these hurdles can be considered something to overcome, something to push against. Maybe overcoming change can be something to strive for.

Even those closest to death can strive for something. Meet Mary, who is facing death with great dignity and courage. I asked her what she thought of looking forward at this point in her life and here is what she had to say: “What could I want that I don’t have? Really, there’s nothing. With my remaining time, I want to spend as much time with those I love as possible. I spend my time thinking about beautiful and amazing places this world has to offer. We grew up poor, so I never dreamed big, but I loved travel and I still love the thought of seeing some of the marvels of the world

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Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. is the executive director of Colony Retirement Homes.

She can be reached at 508-755-0444 or mdelorey@colonyretirement.com and www.colonyretirementhomes. com. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www. fiftyplusadvocate.com.

Reverse mortgage answers Reverse mortgage Continued from page 3

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like the Great Wall of China or the cherry blossoms in DC. But I am quite happy. My son has helped to write my obituary and I read it with some wonder – did I really do all those things? I am a pretty happy person.”

Those closer to death are still striving. They can strive to wrap up details like final arrangements.

They can strive to learn how to control discomfort and embrace the good days when they come around.

And like Mary, they can strive to find peace with who they are and what they did with their lives.

While we are never the master of death, we certainly can do more to help ourselves than just “hope” for the best. We should actively seek out the best life has to offer no matter the circumstance for in doing so, we prove Leonardo da Vinci correct when he noted, “While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.”

encourage people to be cautious how you spend your money as the purpose of a reverse mortgage is to augment your retirement plans and give you the opportunity to age in place and enjoy your quality of life. The most common uses of a reverse mortgage include: • Increase monthly cash flow • Pay off an existing mortgage or equity line • Complete home repairs or improvements • Pay real estate taxes • Cash reserves for unexpected

life events • Peace of mind What do I do next?

If you or a friend have questions about reverse mortgages, just give me a call or email and I’ll be happy to explain all the details and send you the free “How to Use Your Home to Stay at Home” 36-page book. This is the official reverse mortgage consumer booklet approved by the HUD and published by the National Council on Aging. I look forward to speaking with you.

It’s a good life.

Alain Valles is Managing Director of Helping Hands Community Partners, Inc. and was the first designated Certified Reverse Mortgage Professional in New England.

He obtained a Master of Science from the M.I.T. Center for Real Estate, an MBA from the Wharton School, and graduated summa cum laude from UMass Amherst. Valles can be reached directly at 781-724-6221 or by email at av@hhcp.org. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + November 2018 + fiftyplus advocate

november Inside this issue

Index of Services

Senior care expert honored for community service

page

Adult Day Care Adult Day Club at Dodge Park...12

Hospice & Primary Care Hope Health Hospice ...............6

Assisted Living/Rest Homes Oasis at Dodge Park .............14 Tatnuck Park at Worcester .......6 Goddard Homestead ................1

Housing Options Bigelow Village .........................6 Coes Pond Village .................18 Colony Retirement Homes .....20 Green Hill Towers ...................11 Illyrian Gardens ......................15 Sherwood Village, Natick...........20 Sitkowski Apartments..............8

Attorneys, Elder Law Durbin & Veglia, Attorneys ......17

6

Financial Services Avidia Bank ............................13 Tailwind Wealth Management ..........................9

Daly awarded Congressional Gold Medal

Fitness YMCA of Central MA ..............13 Funeral Homes Shaw-Majercik Funeral Home..16 General Senior Services AARP of MA .............................2

page

14

Departments Money Matters ..............3 Housing Options ...........4

fiftyplus advocate

Serving the fifty-plus community since 1975 www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

•5

Travel .............................12 Caregiving Tips ...............18

Publisher: David Bagdon Managing Editor: Bonnie Adams ext. 14 Creative Director: Tina Berthiaume

Hearing Services Audiology Affiliates.................10 Home Care Services Care Solutions...........................7

Medical Research Studies Harvard University ..................17 Mortgage Financing Helping Hands .........................3 Political Candidates Katie Toomey, Registry of Deeds .................15 Rehabilitation St. Mary Healthcare ................8 HealthSouth Rehabilitation ......9 Veterans Services VA Boston .............................16 Walk-In Medical Centers ReadyMed................................4

If you use any services listed above, please mention you saw their ad in the Fifty Plus Advocate

Advertising Sales: Sales Coordinator : Barbara Clifford: 774-243-6881

Diane Sabatini: ext. 12 Cindy Merchant: ext. 15 Mary Ellen Cyganiewicz: ext. 17

Fifty Plus Advocate is published monthly, 12 times annually by Bagdon Advertising, 32 South Street, Westborough, MA 01581.

Fifty Plus Advocate accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or materials and does not return them to sender. Retractions for any inaccuracies will be printed when necessary.

Unsolicited letters to the editor become the property of this newspaper and can be reprinted in part or in whole unless otherwise stated. Fifty Plus Advocate columnists writing under a byline are expressing their personal opinions and not necessarily those of the newspaper.

Contact us: 508.366.5500 • 32 South St., Westborough, MA 01581

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Senior care expert honored for community service tive disabilities.

The Odd Fellows is a nonprofit group whose motto is “Friendship, Love and Truth,” as they “strive to make the world a better place in which to live.” All proceeds from the Charity Ball will be donated to the National Arthritis Foundation.

For Shalev, giving back to the community has always been a priority.

“It was always my mission in life to do better by helping others. Since moving to Worcester in 2006, both [Herlinger] and I have assisted numerous nonprofit organizations and individuals via cross-partnership to support those less fortunate,” Shalev said. “For me, the definition of community support and service is a mission identical to my mission to assist our employees, help our company grow and take good care of our residents. I am very fortunate

By Bonnie Adams Managing Editor

PHOTO/ANDY WEIGL, WEIGL PHOTOGRAPHY

Worcester – Micha Shalev, co-owner of Dodge Park Rest Home and Oasis at Dodge Park, has been announced as this year’s recipient of the Grand Lodge of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows’ Community Service Award.

Shalev will be honored by the Odd Fellows during its 24th annual Arthritis Charity Saturday, Dec. 8, at the Manor Restaurant in West Boylston.

Dodge Park Rest Home has earned an impressive list of accolades over the years for its unique model of deeply compassionate Alzheimer’s and dementia care. In 2017, along with business partner Ben Herlinger, Shalev opened Oasis at Dodge Park, a state-of-theart facility specifically designed around the needs of individuals with memory loss and cogni-

Micha Shalev and Ben Herlinger, co-owners of Dodge Park Rest Home and Oasis at Dodge Park

Shalev page 7

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Senior care expert honored for community service Shalev Continued from page 6

that we found Worcester and call the community home.”

Being honored with this award has great meaning, he noted, as he sees the impact of arthritis on a daily basis in many of his patients.

“Arthritis is a major contributor to disability among older people and is especially disabling for older women, who have higher prevalence rates and greater disability than their male counterparts,” Shalev said.

Studies of the relationship of arthritis to long-term care use indicate that arthritis can cause disability that may result in being homebound, which, in turn is a risk factor for nursing home use, according to Shalev.

“It is possible that previous analyses that included arthritis and disability as competing risk factors for nursing home use underestimate the contribution of arthritis because arthritis is a risk factor for disability; thus, the two variables may be strongly correlated,” he explained.

“First and most fundamentally, we need to understand risk factors for the development of the most prevalent and disabling forms of musculoskeletal disease in the elderly - osteoarthritis and osteoporosis,” Shalev noted. “In the absence of known risk factors, little can be done to prevent the onset of these conditions, which affect large num-

It was always my mission in life to do better by helping others.

leadership team to the front spotlight. At the end of the day, you are only as good as your employees,” he said.

“I am a very family oriented guy and it is always important to me to remember that nothing in life is more important than family. Sometimes I look around me and see individuals struggling in their personal

Micha Shalev bers of older Americans.”

Past community service recipients have included Amy Vogel Waters, director of Elder Affairs/Worcester Senior Center; Attorney Sumner B. Tilton, Fletcher, Tilton & Whipple, P.C.; former District Attorney John. J. Conte; former Massachusetts Lt. Gov. Timothy Murray; and Dr. Dennis D. Berkey, former president of Worcester Polytechnic Institute.

To be included on such a list left him humbled and honored, Shalev said.

“I was involved with the Arthritis Foundation since moving into Worcester back in 2006 through the first ball gala hosted by my dear friend Mr. Clarence Plant from the Odd Fellow,” he noted.

“In life, you don’t wake up one morning with a mission to get recognized or get an award.

I personally like to work behind the scenes and always bring my

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or professional life; I feel so blessed,” he added.

“At the same time I would like to acknowledge my wonderful management team at Dodge Park and Oasis at Dodge Park that help me every single day to provide a unique experience for all our residents, and to allow me to help so many in the community.”

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Prolific pianist now hosts ‘Jazz Matinee’ on WICN 90.5 FM

By Ed Karvoski Jr. Culture Editor

PHOTO/SUBMITTED

HOLLISTON – Pianist, composer and broadcaster Pamela Hines of Holliston continues exploring ways to share her love for music. In addition to performing at venues throughout central and eastern Massachusetts, she now hosts “Jazz Matinee” every Saturday noon to 4 p.m. on Worcester’s National Public Radio station WICN 90.5 FM and streamed live on wicn.org.

“I’ve always had an interest in music naturally,” she said. “I was 11-years-old and in seventh grade when I wrote a book report on Judy Garland. At that time there were at least three AM radio stations playing big band music.

Of course, nobody else my age was listening to that music, but I couldn’t get enough of it. It led to my lifetime of loving and participating in music.”

Her love for music increased

Pamela Hines at WICN studio

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at age 28 while diagnosed with Hodgkin’s disease. During hospital stays for radiation treatments and surgeries, she played a piano that was in the waiting lounge.

“People would come into the lounge to listen – even the nurses, and they were happy,” she recalled.

“I realized that the power of mu-

Pamela Hines

sic can create smiles on people’s faces.”

After receiving a bachelor’s degree in broadcasting from Boston University, Hines worked the overnight shift at Lowell’s WCAP 980 AM during the mid-1980s.

She then earned a bachelor’s degree in music education from Old Dominion University and a master’s in jazz performance from New England Conservatory.

Hines began performing as a solo pianist, then with trios as well as an accompanist for jazz vocalists. Among venues where she has performed regularly are the Langham Hotel and Les Zygomates, Boston; Bull Mansion and Nick’s Bar & Restaurant, Worcester; Fish, Marlborough; and Blackman Hall at Indian Hill Music, Littleton.

From 2012 through 2017, she hosted and played piano for WICN’s monthly “Live Jazz New

England.” Local and internationally-known jazz musicians joined her for a live, one-hour broadcast at WICN’s studio.

“Meeting the musicians and hearing the history of their music was fascinating to me,” she said. “I’m always amazed by the amount of incredible musicians there are.”

While performing gigs and hosting the radio program, Hines dealt with another health issue in 2014. She was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy treatment.

“That second bout changed my life,” she shared. “Having had those two experiences really grounded me and made me pay attention to what’s important. I became extremely proactive. I do everything I can to maintain a healthy body and simplify my life.

Every day is a gift.”

After Hines subbed for Joe Slezik on WICN’s “Jazz Matinee,” she ultimately became its host in January 2018. The program features a collection of jazz standards along with highlights of the American Songbook. Hines strives to provide listeners littleknown information about the artists and their songs.

“I love all those old recordings in the collection from the mid-1950s to late-60s,” she said.

“That’s a sweet time period for jazz records. Some of those records are really rare and haven’t been remastered. The whole experience is thrilling to hear a little scratch sound before the song begins.”

Hines appreciates having multiple opportunities to immerse her life in music as a pianist, composer and radio host.

“I want to connect with the people around me, so I try to do that musically,” she said. “I set aside time to practice every day and make sure I have that commitment. Now being in my third decade of doing this, I’m honoring the time I put in every day with gratitude that I have places to play music. Gratitude helps your entire life.”

For more information about Pamela Hines, visit pamelahines. com.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + November 2018 + fiftyplus advocate

‘Monstrous races’

By Janice Lindsay

“W

e never saw those people, we don’t know them, we’ve never been where they live, they’ve never been here, so obviously they must have two heads. Or maybe they have only one head but only one eye. Or maybe one head and three eyes. They’re probably covered with feathers. Or fur.”

For much of human history – until relatively recent human history, in fact – people have imagined “the other” to be extremely other.

In a strange coincidence, I was once studying two different realms of “other,” two realms that bumped into each other in a big way, not only in my brain but in the real world, around the sixteenth century.

Realm One: I was taking a course in the age of European exploration. We Americans learn about this era when we study Christopher Columbus who, sailing the ocean blue in fourteen hundred and ninety-two, was looking for an ocean route to Asia when he accidentally stumbled onto America.

Realm Two: I was researching Chinese folklore for a writing project, China representing the very Asia that exploring European

Inklings

I N V E S T M E N T

For much of human history – until relatively recent human history, in fact – people have imagined ‘the other’ to be extremely other. sailors were trying to reach.

That’s where the “other” comes in.

Medieval Europeans, taking their tradition from the Romans, were quite sure that “monstrous races” inhabited the unexplored lands outside the edges of their known world.

Some of those other people, if they could be called people, were dog-headed with human bodies. Or they had feet like ours, but pointed backwards.

Some had gigantic floppy ears that hung down to their knees.

Some were cannibals which, in some cases, turned out to be true but, never mind, even guesses are right sometimes. One race had no heads, but large faces in their chests, with mouths where the navels would be.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Chinese tradition described the same kinds of “unnatural people,” as it’s translated, who lived outside their familiar territories. The Chinese pictured nine-inch-tall, large headed people who lived like ants; 50-foot giants whose lives spanned 18,000 years; people without arms whose legs grew from their shoulders; people with holes in their chests so they

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could be carried on a pole running through the hole, or hung on a wall peg; the gentle, feathered people with wings instead of arms, who sang so beautifully.

Like the Europeans, they imagined gigantic floppy-ear people, and the ever-popular people with no heads whose faces resided in their chests.

For various political and social reasons, the Chinese weren’t enthusiastic explorers, even though they know how to build and navigate big ships; otherwise, they might have arrived in America before the Europeans, and you would be reading this in Chinese. They preferred to wait

for the world to come to them which, as we know, it did.

And imagine everybody’s surprise when -- once previously unexplored lands were explored and unknown people became known – it was revealed, probably to everyone’s great relief, that the standard-issue human structure consisted of one (human) head, with two eyes, two arms, and two feet that point forward.

Not that this anatomical similarity has ever been enough to inspire us to appreciate, trust, and cooperate with each other.

Maybe some day it will.

As we humans explore space, probably we will discover that monstrous races inhabit other planets. We earthlings will discover that we have a lot more in common with each other than we thought, when we meet those strange monstrous races face to face though probably they won’t have faces.

Contact jlindsay@tidewater.net

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fiftyplus advocate + November 2018 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Local beekeeper brings ‘nectah’ to Westborough

By Kate Tobiasson Contributing Writer

O

PHOTO/SUBMITTED

ne Westborough resident has been quietly promoting female empowerment for years through a unique field: bees. Gerry Gross first found his passion for bees as a teenager in New York.

“Back in high school I took advanced biology,” he said. “I learned about bee colonies and how the bees collaborated as a team. I went to college as a biology major and my freshman year, I continued to learn more about the colony and the way that it works. I was really interested in how the colonies are really female dominated.

The males are useless! Back in the 1980s, women were joining power in the workforce, medical and political fields, and I appreciated the way that the bees were all working to support the queens.”

Gary Kelley (l) and Gerry Gross

An entrepreneur, Gross owned three Verizon stores and was active in the Rotary Club of Westborough. When the time came to close the stores, he thought back on his childhood passion and decided to attend

bee school.

“Right here in Worcester County, we have the oldest beekeepers association in the country,” Gross explained.

“They hold bee school once a year; they’ve been holding them

When you can’t hear, we listen.

for 75 years. After I attended bee school, I was working on starting my hives. The director of the Community Harvest Project in North Grafton and I had a discussion about setting up some hives at her farm. We had a great year with honey, and their crops flourished that year.”

Now, seven years later, Gross has nine hives in the Westborough area and hopes to continue to expand his operations. Many larger farms employ commercial beekeepers, but Gross is different.

Each day, he works to help manage the hive and support each colony, identifying its unique needs and way of working.

“Every hive has its own distinctive way of life,” he noted.

“I’m a twin; we’re not identical, and I’ve always been focused on the importance of the individual,” Gross explained. “Every queen lays differently; each hive needs to be nurtured. CommerGross page 11

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One reason is noise exposure.

We should keep the volume of our personal music devices below 50 percent and wear earplugs/ muffs for use of power tools, at loud concerts and sporting events.

Noise exposure is considered in terms of “noise dose,” or how loud and how long. An explosion may permanently damage hearing in a few seconds but a lawnmower

may take hours or years. With early noise exposure, hearing may improve in a day. The louder the noise and the more occurrences, the more likely the loss or “ringing” may become permanent.

Noise is not the only cause of hearing loss that we may be able to manage. Ears love a heart healthy diet and good blood flow.

Any health condition that impacts blood flow to the head, metabolism and oxygen supply can impact hearing. Other concerns are some chemo and radiation treatments, medications, head injuries, Lyme and other autoimmune diseases.

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A link has also been established between hearing loss and dementia.

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Local beekeeper brings ‘nectah’ to Westborough Gross Continued from page 10

Gerry Gross

cial beekeepers usually bring a hive to an area where there are crops or flowers for a few weeks and then they pick them up and move them somewhere else. For example, they go to California for the almonds and then Maine for the berries. They don’t really understand the needs of the individuals like I do.”

Discerning individual dif-

The hives in action and the end result!

ferences is important, and supporting the colony is important to vigilant beekeepers.

Gross keeps most of his hives in Westborough, at land owned by a close friend and local Realtor, Gary Kelley.

“Gary generously lets me use his land. It is close to a great deal of conservation land and is wonderful for the bees; they love it,” Gross said. “This was a great year for honey.”

Throughout the last decade, the world has come to better understand the bee collapse phenomenon. While the rest of the world has worked to help support bees, America has been slow to act.

“The bee collapse is an interesting thing,” Gross began.

“There are three reasons why bees don’t survive. One problem is that mites come in and attack and kill the bees. Pesticides are also a real problem.

In Europe, they have reduced

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their pesticides and they have seen a great return of the bees.

Another problem is that in America, farmers really only grow one crop. This type of farming makes it so that there are only flowers for only two to three weeks a year, which impacts the bees’ ability to survive. I’d love for families to let their dandelions stay in their lawns and to have people grow flowers instead of grass. This would be so much better for our bees.”

Honey has a myriad of health benefits; it has antifungal and antibacterial properties, can help with digestion, is loaded with phytonutrients and is even known to heal wounds.

Because of its magical properties, Gross calls his beekeeping operations “Nectah of the Gods.”

To read more about Gross or to purchase local honey, visit www.nectahofthegods.com.

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travel and entertainment

Wilmington – history, art, and culture

By Victor Block Travel Writer

T

Hagley machine shop

PHOTO/MOONLOOP PHOTOGRAPHY

he contrast between members of the du Pont family who settled in Wilmington, Delaware and the surrounding Brandywine Valley at the turn of the 19th century, and those who toiled in the powder mills they founded, is one of numerous diversities that characterize the destination.

The primary reason the area is a tourist magnet relates to the saga of the du Ponts. The tale began in 1800 when Pierre Samuel du Pont, the son of a Parisian watchmaker, emigrated to the United States where one of his sons established a gunpowder mill near Wilmington. The company became the world’s largest manufacturer of black powder and created one of the wealthiest family empires in the country.

Eleutherian Longwood Garden illuminated fountains

A good place to begin exploring the area is where the story did.

The Hagley Museum and Library features the restored original gunpowder mills, the Eleutherian Mills estate where five generations of du Ponts resided, lovely gardens and the village where workers lived.

The residence is packed with antique furnishings PHOTO/ MOONLOOP PHOTOGRAPHY and valuable art.

PHOTO/DANIEL TRAUB

Workers’ Hill provides a glimpse of the life of original mill employees. It includes homes, a Sunday school for children and a garden filled with vegetables that factory families grew, which contrasts with the elaborate ornamental plantings at du Pont homes.

The 77-room Nemours Estate was constructed by Alfred I. du Pont, the great-great-grandson of Pierre, for his second wife Alicia. It was modeled after a chateau that was built during the reign of French King Louis XV and occupied by Queen Marie Antoinette.

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The setting is enhanced by acres of formal gardens, greenhouses and a planted maze area.

The 175-room du Pont mansion known as Winterthur displays a collection of over 90,000 antiques in stunning interiors. The house sits in a naturalistic setting of forests and rolling hills which provides a backdrop for gardens that present a year-round explosion of color.

More than 1,000 acres of outdoor plantings and a fouracre indoor conservatory make Longwood Gardens one of the premier botanical destinations in the world. A popular feature is spectacular displays of illuminated fountains. Technicolor streams of

Travel page 13

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + November 2018 + fiftyplus advocate

Wilmington – history, art, and culture Travel Continued from page 12

PHOTO/LES KIPP

water rise and fall, spin and twirl in a precisely choreographed show.

As enticing as the du Pont story is, it represents only a small part of what awaits visitors to the area. For example, the Brandywine Valley inspired generations of Wyeth family artists. The Brandywine River Museum is renowned for its collection of works by N.C., Andrew and Jamie Wyeth. The houses and studios where N.C. and Andrew lived and painted are open to the public.

The region also boasts intriguing chapters of American history.

The John Dickerson Plantation was the home of one of the country’s founding fathers. He penned the phrase “United we stand, divided we fall,” and was a drafter of the U.S. Constitution.

Fort Delaware on colorfully named Pea Patch Island was built in 1815 to protect the Wilming-

• 13

Quaker abolitionists and others who risked much to provide assistance. A moving statue of Harriet looks out over the TubmanGarrett Riverfront Park, which is named for her and fellow abolitionist Thomas Garrett.

For information about Wilmington and the Brandywine Valley call (800) 489-6664 or log onto visitwilmingtonde.com.

Nemours Estate

ton and Philadelphia harbors, destroyed by fire and rebuilt prior to the Civil War. It served as a prisoner of war camp and held some 12,500 Confederate soldiers who were captured at Gettysburg.

Another story relates the role of African-Americans.

Cultural achievements of Delaware-born African-Americans are recalled at the Delaware History Museum.

The Delaware segment of the Underground Railroad, which escaped slaves followed on their journey to freedom, includes sites associated with Harriet Tubman,

Fort Delaware reeneactor

PHOTO/MICHELLE NEWMAN

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fiftyplus advocate + November 2018 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Daly awarded Congressional Gold Medal

By Bonnie Adams Managing Editor

Shrewsbury – At the height of World War II, in 1943, a young Worcester man, Edward F. Daly, served in the U.S. Army in China as a member of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), a precursor of the modern Central Intelligence Agency. There he was assigned to the communications department, coding and decoding messages.

For their bravery doing such important work under dangerous and perilous conditions, earlier this year, Congress awarded the men and women of the OSS the Congressional Gold Medal during a ceremony held in Washington D.C. As Daly was unable to attend, U.S. Rep. James McGovern (D-MA) came to the

PHOTOS/JERRY CALLAGHAN, CALLAGHAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Worcester native is honored for services during World War II

U.S. Rep. James McGovern presents the Congressional Gold Medal to Edward Daly.

Southgate at Shrewsbury retirement community, where Daly now lives, to personally present him with his medal.

In a moving ceremony Sept.

24 held in front of family, friends and fellow Southgate residents, several of them themselves WWII veterans, McGovern

noted the gold medal was a “symbol of gratitude of the American people for [Daly’s] service. There is no greater honor.”

The Congressional Gold Medal, along with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, McGovern explained, is the highest civilian award bestowed by the

U.S. Government.

According to the Congressional Research Service, the award, which was initially created in 1776, was first bestowed on military leaders. Over the years, its scope has been broadened to include actors, authors, entertainers, musicians, pioneers in aeronautics and space, explorers, lifesavers, notables in science and medicine, athletes, humanitarians, public servants, and foreign recipients. Recipients have included such diverse honorees as George Washington, Sir Winston Churchill, the American Red Cross, Bob Hope, the Wright Brothers, Frank Sinatra, Robert Frost, Joe Louis and Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

In introducing Daly, McGovern noted that Daly was born and raised in Worcester, graduating from the College of the Holy Cross in 1942. Shortly before his graduation ceremony, Daly page 15

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Daly awarded Congressional Gold Medal Daly Continued from page 14

PHOTO/JERRY CALLAGHAN, CALLAGHAN PHOTOGRAPHY

he enrolled in the Army and was assigned to the OSS. Following the war, he graduated from Boston College Law School and served with distinction in both the Federal Bureau of Investigation and the United States Department of Labor.

McGovern noted that there are fewer than 100 of the approximately 13,000 OSS members still alive.

“They quietly served in clandestine situations and have never really been recognized for their bravery until now. They definitely played an important part in American’s history,” he said.

“Thank you for your service to your country,” he said, turning to Daly. “You are living proof that public servants can make a difference.”

Daly then took a few moments to address the audience, sharing stories of his time in

Edward Daly receives a hug from his grandniece, Genevieve Coppolino, 7, as her sisters, Grace, 9, and Maeve, 3, look on.

the OSS. Although it was over seven decades ago, his memory of those days was as sharp and detailed as if it were just days ago.

He noted that he is not a hero, but rather, “just one of the guys.” There were many others, he said, who were in much more perilous situations.

“We don’t share that view of

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you,” McGovern said.

“Well, I am trying to be humble!” Daly quipped back, to the amusement of the audience.

Among those in attendance were Daly’s niece Mary Ann Cappolino, her husband Greg, and their three young daughters.

“This is such a special day for my uncle,” she said. “We are

• 15

so happy to be here for this ceremony.”

Mary Lou Halloran Neagle, whose late father, Fred Halloran, was Daly’s best friend for most of his life, was also in attendance.

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. He really deserves this honor and attention,” she said of Daly. “He is such a great man and was always so good to my father and mother (Virginia).

He is really special to our family.”

After the ceremony, there was a reception to celebrate Daly for another reason – he was turning 98 on Sept. 25. As he gazed upon the cake baked in his honor and listened to the audience serenade him with “Happy birthday,” he beamed.

“This is a great day,” he said.

“I will never forget it.”

And thanks to his inclusion on a very special list, Edward F. Daly, and his service to our country during one of its most perilous times, will never be forgotten either.

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fiftyplus advocate + November 2018 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Changing lives at the Ron Burton Training Village Burton Family in 2003 with New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft

By Jane Keller Gordon Assistant Editor

Hubbardston – In 1960, for the first time up until that point, the New England Patriots scored a first-round draft choice. That year, Ron Burton Sr., a standout All-American running back at Northwestern University, was the number one draft choice for the American, National and Canadian Football Leagues. Over the next six years, Burton went on to set records rushing and receiving for the Patriots.

As impressive as those stats are however, Burton’s greatest legacy is something quite different – the Ron Burton Training Village in Hubbardston MA, which he founded in 1986. Since his death in 2003, his five children and wife JoAnn have guided the village.

Steve is a sportscaster for WBZ-TV in Boston; Paul is also a WBZ-TV reporter; Ron is a community relations executive for

PHOTOS/COURTESY BURTON FAMILY

the Red Sox; Phil is a motivational speaker and Elizabeth is a teacher.

More than 9,000 under-privileged children, mostly boys, have been impacted by the village, which is based on the principles of love, peace, patience and humility.

Its purpose is to, “… develop and strength our youth, (spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically) so they are fully equipped

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to overcome challenges and excel in life.”

Ron Jr. eloquently shared his father’s story with Fifty Plus Advocate.

“My dad grew up very poor in Springfield, Ohio. He was small and skinny, and struggled in sports.

He was the kid that nobody wanted on their team. The other kids called him ‘nothing,’” he said.

But circumstances and mentors changed his life, and that’s what the village aims to achieve for others as well.

Ron Sr.’s grandmother, Shayne, a gospel street preacher, played an important role in his life. She told him to be strong when he was bullied and cried.

She also said, “If I ever catch Burton page 17

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Changing lives at the Ron Burton Training Village Burton Continued from page 16

you drinking or smoking I am going to pray for you, because you are going to lose,” Ron Jr. said.

When Ron Sr. went out for football in the seventh grade, along with 55 others, he was the only one who did not receive a football suit from the coach. He begged his middle school coach to get him a uniform, which he did.

At the end of the last game of the season, Ron Sr. got off the bench for the first time, and was asked to take the ball 2 yards for a 4th down.

“By then, everyone was injured. My dad took the ball 10 yards, and those were the most important ones of his life,” Ron Jr. noted.

That’s because the high school coaches were watching, and they saw something in the young football player.

Ron Jr. recalled his father telling him that a coach said, “I have never seen someone run with so much courage and determination. You should wake up at 4:30 a.m. every morning this summer, and run seven miles. Watch what happens. Start slow and built up to it.”

Ron Sr. took that advice, found his father’s old boots and ran and ran.

When he returned to school in the fall, he outran everyone during the team’s first conditioning drills. His days of bullying were over. He was no longer called “nothing”.

After an outstanding high

Ron Burton, Sr.

school career, he was recruited

by Coach Ara Parseghian to play with the Northwestern Wildcats.

It was a move that surprised many given Woody Haye’s local reach for Ohio State University.

After his Patriot days, Burton had a successful career in insurance at John Hancock.

But Ron Sr. had another goal, his son said.

“My dad had a dream to start a camp for kids like him. He said that the meek and poor don’t have a chance. In 1984, he took his life savings and bought over 300 acres in Hubbardston,” Ron Jr. explained. “The camp now includes replicas of English gardens, the Parthenon, and buildings with French furniture from old castles.

These reflect the beauty that my dad experienced later life.”

“The first year, in 1985, we had 30 kids. They ran seven miles every morning. There are no electronics, no cursing, and quiet time every day. The kids sign a pledge that they will never drink

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or smoke, like my students’ clothes. Home Depot dad,” he added. makes substantial contributions.

The camp has

“It’s not about being an athgrown to 130 boys lete. It’s about teaching boys to talk each summer. to themselves, to talk to others, to Boys enter the protalk to God, and to face challenges gram at age 11, and one step at a time,” Ron Jr. said “It if they stay for sevchanges everything.” en years, and main For more information about tain their grades, the Ron Burton Training Village, they are offered full visit www.ronburtontrainingvilcollege scholarlage.org. ships. The Burtons and other camp staff stay in contact with the boys throughout the year.

Many other individuals and institutions have joined in the village’s mission. The Red Sox hold a children’s retreat there. Students from the United State Naval Academy and West Point spend time running with the boys.

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fiftyplus advocate + November 2018 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

caregiving tips

Common mistakes people make when selecting a long term care facility for a loved one diagnosed with dementia and/or Alzheimer’s disease

By Micha Shalev MHA CDP CDCM

Fortunately, the decision becomes easier as you expand your knowledge.

Part two of two. Part one was in the October issue of the Fifty Plus Advocate and can also be found online at the Fifty Plus Advocate.

W

a decision out of fear of making the wrong choice. Fortunately, the decision becomes easier as you expand your knowledge. Here are some common mistakes that families make during the process of selecting a senior community:

hen families and seniors select a long term care community, it’s a momentous, life changing decision.

You want to get it right the first time. It can be such an intimidating choice that many families come down with “analysis paralysis” and i n d e fi n i t e l y postpone

1. C h o o s i n g a c o m m u n i t y appropriate for the parent of yesteryear instead of the parent of today The problem with many families’ well-meaning plans are that they are making arrangements for the mom or dad that they used to know, and not who he or she is now.

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2. Not reading the fine print Facility contracts are generally re l a t i ve l y s t r a i g h t f o r w a rd , a t least compared to other kinds of legal documents, but they still can contain confusing legalese, or involve additional fees that aren’t completely apparent. Some families are caught unprepared by fees or price increases that they would have been aware of had they reviewed their contract. Some communities charge individually for each service (“à la carte pricing”) while other communities may rank the level of care that a resident needs on a scale (for example, on a 1 to 5 scale), with care costs based on the level of care the nursing staff determines is needed. Some communities don’t charge a care fee at all, but instead opt to provide an “all inclusive” pricing model whereby resident’s fees do not depend at all on care needed. At a community with all inclusive pricing, a very frail resident who requires a high level of care has the same fees as a resident who is mostly or even entirely independent (assuming they are in comparably priced apartments).

3. Going it alone There’s no need struggle through the search alone, risking costly mistakes or dangerous blunders.

Many people pride themselves on their independent spirit, but when making a decision this big, it’s usually wise to gather multiple perspectives on your senior housing options.

Get feedback from as many people as possible: friends who have gone through the process, your loved one’s

care management team, a geriatric care manager and a senior living advisor. This kind of professional can help save you hours of time and stress by narrowing your choices to the places that meet your specific needs.

They help families evaluate issues such as care requirements, finances, and amenity preferences.

If you do find that your loved one is living in an inappropriate senior community, don’t be afraid to admit that you may have made the wrong decision. Then pivot and make a change quickly rather than digging into a situation that isn’t going to work out in the long run.

4. Fail to interview Many children are not asking for references. Ask to speak with current residents and or their responsible party. You will be able to get the real picture of a life at the community.

Ask to review the most recent state survey and talk with the facility licensing agency. In most states it is a public record.

Contact the ombudsman office who is in charge of the facility. Most ombudsman programs visit the facility on a regular basis, sometimes on a weekly basis. They can provide you insights as well.

5. Long term financial planning Always think about the end game. Many consumers are moving into assisted living and when money runs out, they are asked to leave the community. Make sure that any facility that you go to there is a plan in place to ensure that your loved one will be able to stay at the facility.

I have personally witnessed cases where residents are asked to leave assisted living communities after paying for three, four, and five years of private pay. When the money ran out, so did their options to find decent communities.

Micha Shalev MHA CDP CDCM CADDCT is the co-owner of The Oasis at Dodge Park, Dodge Park Residential Care and The Adult Day Club at Dodge Park located at 101 and 102 Randolph Road in Worcester. He has a master’s degree in health care management and is a graduate of the National Council of Certified Dementia Practitioners program, as well as a well-known speaker covering Alzheimer’s and dementia training topics. He can be reached at 508-853-8180 or by e-mail at m.shalev@dodgepark.com. Archives of articles from previous issues can be read at www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + November 2018 + fiftyplus advocate

• 19

Marlborough agency offers support to those affected by addiction

By Lori Berkey Contributing Writer

Marlborough - Several years ago, Kelly McCausland and a couple of her contemporaries saw chronic relapse in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) participants, and with the opioid epidemic, they became gravely concerned. They were losing friends and mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, and sons and daughters, and it seemed to them this relapse factor was becoming fatal. They also saw that there are many paths to recovery, and wanted to help people, so they started the Marlboroughbased Prana Recovery Centers in 2015. McCausland is the agency’s executive director.

In 2016, Prana Recovery Centers began offering a relapse prevention program for people in recovery from substance use disorders. This fall, the agency launched a new, ongoing, cutting-edge service - a free monthly Support for Supporters [SOS] group that unites those in recovery with their

supporters.

According to McCausl a n d , P r a n a ’s intention is to Kelly McCausland p ro v i d e suppor t for the supporters because they recognize that people who have support do better in recovery.

“It really helps to eliminate relapse when someone has support from a person who understands addiction, who knows about their own self-care, who’s educated, informed, and active in getting their own support,” she said.

The SOS meetings offer a unique blend of ancient wellness practices, education and support. During the sessions, people in recovery and their supporters start off together in one group for mindfulness instruction and practice. Then, they split into two dif-

ferent groups and the supporters go together, while those in recovery do 12-step work.

The supporters’ sessions include education on healthy boundaries and other topics, incorporating presentations from different speakers from professional social workers to parents who talk about their experience of seeing their child recover and parents who have had children who have died from overdose.

According to McCausland, the intention behind teaching and practicing mindfulness is that “the mindfulness helps to filter out chaos to help you get to that quiet place where your wisdom lies, where your knowingness lies, and so that’s why the mindfulness, is one of our six pillars of wellness.”

She added that stress reduction is an important benefit from the practice.

In addition to the SOS groups, Prana Recovery Centers offers a more in-depth relapse prevention program for those in recovery.

“When you leave a rehab,

many times you’re told AA is the only option. We believe AA is a very viable and important option – it’s not the only path to recovery and it’s often most beneficial integrated with different paths,” McCausland said.

The program is open to any adult affected by substance use disorder. For more information, call or text Kelly at 978-580-0631 or visit www.pranarecoverycenters.org.

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